I'm a Sh*tty Friend

I had a second family in my early twenties. Post Mom, they were my cheerleaders, my support group, and all-around second family. Over the years different insecure girlfriends steered me away, and we lost touch. With divorce number two under my belt, I had nothing stopping me from reconnecting. I had thought about it. I'll do it next time I'm in the neighborhood. I should call first. Why do we feel so awkward when we lose touch with people. Then we reconnect and you pick right up where you left off. I know if I had done this, and reached out we would've picked right up. I can't do that now. It's not an option. A blown opportunity that put a mirror in my face and I can see how I was a really sh*tty friend in the name of love, I left people who truly did love me. I feel ashamed, and not to happy with myself.