Brought to you by Zander Insurance, compare rates from top-term life insurance companies in seconds at zander.com. Let's go to Lynn in Madison, Wisconsin. Lynn, how can we help? Hi guys.
I do need your help. Well, good news. We have got help to give. I mean, I can't think of two guys that are more helpful than us.
So you're in good. Well, good. Well, yeah, I have, I'm hoping to get a dispute settled. Oh, I love dispute.
Oh, it's between you and your husband. It is. All right. Let me ask this before we get going.
Is he by chance in the room with you? He's not. Okay. He's not.
I wish he were. I do too, because I am now starting this new trend here, George. We did this one or two times. We get both of them on the phone.
Yeah, that's more fun. Okay. Well, here one side. All right, Lynn, let's go.
Let's hear your side and his side. Okay. All right. Well, the question is, I want to know if I'm a Ramsey solution to the crit.
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It's all I've ever bought and all I've ever recommended. Go to zander.com or call 800-356-4282. You're fighting words. I like how you lead off here.
We'll see if you're a Pharisee. Go ahead. All right. All right.
Well, some quick background. All right. This is a second marriage for both of us. We were just married this past December.
Okay. I'm aged 58. Who's aged 54? We have a total of four adult children's two on each side.
And I think a key thing for me was I was a single mom for 17 years. My kids were 23 when I was divorced. And I paid maintenance and I paid child support. I carried the healthcare and I paid for all the incidentals for my kids.
I found Ramsey solutions after a layoff that scared me to death. So the stress left me, you know, not a great place. And I dug into the Ramsey plan. I bought in.
I listened. I did a financial piece of university and I started with a net worth of 170,000. My life insurance was more than my net worth. So coming into the marriage, I was baby step seven with a net worth of 1.9 million.
Hey, we go, Lynn. There was a lot of, well, there was a lot of small vacations at the local park. You're a rock star. Don't mess with mama bear, Lynn.
Listen, let's just call that out. That's hard work. Good for you. Thank you.
It was hard work. But it was worth it because now here I am. So baby step seven. And now my husband, he came to the marriage with a net worth of 150,000.
Okay. And he was one of those guys who never found that he didn't like. He had car loans. He had a boat loan.
He had credit cards. He kind of had everything. And obviously, since we're married, we financially got into the same place. So I introduced him to Ramsey solutions, you know, gave him financial piece of university.
We went through that. And he'd come aboard. So we've eliminated the credit card debt, the car loan, got rid of everything. I wanted going into the marriage.
I wanted to preen up. And this is where the dispute came. And I wanted the preen up to state that if we divorced, I wanted to the 625,000 that I was putting into paying off our residence at unit for now, if we divorced, I also asked for a desk clause that states that should I die, he gets the house in the entirety. And there's no splitting it with my estate or anything like that.
That would be said, so it's just a divorce. If there was a divorce, I wanted that accounted for. And then anything above and beyond that would be split. That's what it was.
And it's our intent that our retirement account would remain separate. So the principle of our retirement accounts would remain separate. If we draw anything out to pay for things for us, that's all commingled and everything that on the other cash, everything would be split equally. If we were, if we divorced, I wouldn't be saying like, Oh, well, we paid off the car while we were married.
So my cash paid that off or whatever. It was none of that. So what specifically is he calling hypocritical? That I wanted to prenut.
Just the prenut. But were they fine with certain parts of the that you just laid out a list? Was he against all of those things? All of those things.
He's like, absolutely, this is ridiculous. I can't believe that you're going to have you're going to be asking for a prenut. Once we're married, we're married and everything should be equal. I'm like, well, it is equal.
I'm just saying, if we get divorced, because I've been divorced before, and I'm now 58, because I split half, which Wisconsin is a 50, 50 state. I don't, I don't have time to recoup that again. All right. And how long have you been married?
Two months. I'm going to ask a stupid question, George, that I think you know the answer to. I may not try me. Can you get a prenut post marriage?
Post-nuptial? You can. Yeah. No, we have the document now.
We have it now. Also, he didn't want it, but you went ahead and you got it wrong. Anyway, we got it drawn up. He would be got to a place where those were the things we agreed on.
I was trying to explain like, Hey, we're sharing all bank accounts. We're sharing everything. No, no, I get all that. I get all that.
So is it signed? It's signed. The prenut was signed before our way. But he just resents.
So why are you calling us again? So what's the dispute? It's all, this is all moot point, right? No, no, I'm still a hypocrite.
I'm not truly into the remedy solution. Okay. Well, just let me free you of all of this. There's no hypocrites here.
There's no Ramsey Bible that you've sinned against. Prenups are a very nuanced thing. And usually what we say is unless there's a massive gap in net worth and yours truly is not like a, Oh my gosh, you're bringing millions and millions and you have a family business. There's massive generational wealth here.
We're talking about someone who prepared for retirement, someone who's just getting started. And it sounds like he's on the same page. You're on the same plan now. So you're on the edge of like, is this even necessary, but I understand with your backstory that you're just going, Hey, I just can't be left out in a lurch, you know, not unable to retire or something where to happen.
So I think you both need to go to counseling and deal with the underlying trust and communication issues, but there's no hypocrites here. You did nothing wrong, quote unquote. So let me release you of that, but no one's going to quote, we don't have like a blanket policy on that. No, it's just most people don't need one.
Yeah. And like guy goes, well, I'll make 40 grand and she makes 20. No, dude, you don't need a prenup. This is we're talking about protecting your stuff from the crazy family around you, not from each other.
Yeah. And had you called us, had you called us before you got it signed, I would have said, same thing that George said, but I would have said I personally would not do one because I feel like a prenup is an acknowledgement that we could finish this thing and in this thing. And I'm not judging anybody that's been divorced. I want everybody here that's, I'm not judging anybody.
Okay. I am blessed to come from my wife and I both come from families where our parents have been married over 50 years. So we have a heritage that we inherit. We inherit.
We saw it. And when station I got married, there was no out. And we've been married 27 years. And there have been times has been very, very hard.
There's no out. Now that's our position. I'm not prescribing that to anybody. I'm not proselytizing today.
But I would say that I would have said ahead of time, I want you to go to counseling because you've got some very natural fears, Lynn. And I understand I'm empathetic to go. If I were in your shoes, I could see where you could get to that point and want to protect yourself. You've been burned.
But so is he. And I think that this should have been counseling on the front end. You should not have forced this. I'm going to say something crazy here.
If it were me, I'd tear it up and then I'd go to counseling. I think you forced the issue on this and I think you got to redo it. That's what I would do. Oh boy, here come the hate now.
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