brought to you by the Every Dollar App. Start budgeting for free today. So I am 36. I have three children with the man that I've been married to for 18 years.
My mother passed away back in 2013 and that was the only time of any family whatsoever that I had. So I'm not proud of the fact but it is a very codependent situation if you will. I was a say-at-home mom and feel my son start at school, he's 10 and he started fifth grade this year. I spoke with my husband about two years ago.
We bought the subject of needing marriage counseling, like that. I discussed with him that I was just not happy with the way that things were and that I thought we needed to speak with the while you were or something like that. He's a mechanic. I will say that.
Ever since we had that conversation about two years ago, I've had three vehicles that have torn up and that has caught me work and he's the only person that has worked on these vehicles. He's the only person that's maintenance man. Where it sticks him if anything, he gets very upset. I guess you could say I'm kind of confused about whether I'm in an abusive relationship or not because he's not physical with me but he's kind of taking my resources away in an effort to keep me here instead of trying to work through something for our children so that we can separate and give them a more peaceful environment and financially and resource-wise I'm the keys all that I have and I just don't know where to start.
How much do you earn? Meet every dollar budgeters, Christy and Steve. Their life is chaotic but their money is simple because they budget with every dollar. Budgeting with the spreadsheet took a ton of time.
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It just takes that stress out of the day-to-day life. You got this, Andy, get family. Every dollar. Great.
You're free of health today. I'm not sure you earn. I don't earn anything right now. I don't have the vehicle that I have right now just got fixed two weeks ago and that is not even, I mean that's a 2006 Nissan Maxima.
That's not anything that's dependable itself even though it's been fixed. When I say taking resources away I very much so mean like he's he's the one that works. He gets paid. He gives me money on cash app each week that I say, you know, just to worry about what we need for the house and for the kids and stuff but the money that I get is what he gives me.
And if I go anywhere he knows where I go. Like I said every time that I've had a job I was making about $25 an hour. I do private care nursing and I've been doing that often over about six years. But like I said, as soon as I brought up the situation of you know, I think we need to pepperate there started becoming a lot of problems especially with my transportation back and forth to work.
Are you saying he's like messing with your car? I don't understand. Yes. Like he's actively breaking your cars and handling your children, baby.
I'm sorry. Yeah. How old are your babies? Well, our youngest is he'll be 11 on the 29th and then we've got one that'll be 16 on the 24th and then our oldest she graduates this year.
She said and think she turns 18 in February. Okay. All right. And it's very, it's a bit of a bully sometimes about it.
He makes it very very clear. Okay. Let me help stop stop stop stop stop stop. This isn't abusive relationship.
Okay. Anytime someone calls up and says my spouse is tampering with my car and he's bullying and he's only giving me a few dollars. This is abusive relationship. You are an abusive relationship.
You hear me? Okay. So you need to get on the phone and contact a local pastor there in your town and tell them you need some help and you need to get some help and you need to do some help to get new housing and get a new life set up. This is not this is not not no.
I'm not trying to make it. I mean the financial thing. Honey. Honey.
This is sick. Don't make excuses. This is a mess. It's sick and you know it.
He's tampering with your car. You just said hello. Somebody's going to die. This is sick.
This is wrong. Okay. You need to get some help and you need to get some distance. Only chance this marriage heals is for him to get some help.
And the only chance that happens is if he thinks you're gone because you're gone. Yeah. There's no there's no feeling that it's just that the resources are not that's what I'm telling you. I want you to get on the phone.
I want you to go see it. Pick out a church that's a good large church in that area. Go sit down with their team with their team of counselors or team of pastors and tell them you don't have any resources and you're in this situation that's dangerous and they will help you. You've not been hit.
So I don't know if a domestic violence shelter will take you or not, but you could contact one of those as well. Okay. But this is toxic. It's wrong and it's evil.
If you were my little sister, I would be over there packing your stuff right now and loading your car up while I argued with you because you kept crawfishing on me. And I mean like, you know, I'm not going to argue with you. He verbalizes that he verbalizes like that they're not going to do anything because he doesn't put his hands on well. They're they I don't know who they are, but they are a divorce attorney and he doesn't have his wife and kids anymore.
That's who they are and you go get a job and support yourself and your kid and you can do that. You know that the goal when that's what he's trying to keep me from, like I'm not kidding. No kidding. No kidding.
That part is $4,000. So you don't have to convince me. I'm already convinced. It didn't take me but a minute and a half.
Now you're convincing yourself. Are you going to call a pastor today or not? Yes. Today.
Girl. Yes. Okay. It's going on long enough.
As a matter of fact, it's going on too long. Thank you. The first time somebody screws with your car, that's in game. We're done.
We're done. Okay. This is out of control behavior. You're done.
All right. So I'm gonna put you on hold and Kelly's gonna get your numbers and stuff and we're gonna follow up. And if you don't call a pastor, I'm gonna start calling people around you. Okay.
You're gonna do this because this is not safe for you, girl. You're one step from getting smacked. You're one step from getting your nose broke. Your right.
This fuse is really short. I've done this for a long, long time and I know what I'm doing. So you have got to get some help. This guy might be redeemable, but today we're not having that discussion.
He's done too many things in this one conversation to earn to, you know, for you to stay in this house, you need to get out of there. And then from that separation point, if you all want to work on your marriage and he wants to work on his behavior and start being a real man, instead of a little twerp, then we can talk about this. But right now your husband's a twerp and if he doesn't like that, he can call me. I'll be happy to talk to him about it.
I'm not afraid of him. I can tell you that. So Kelly, you pick up, I want her name and phone number and then get with the church team and line her up with a couple of pastors and let's get some help in this girl's life. I think she's gonna do it.
I don't know. I hope we convinced her that it's a desperate enough situation. And I would start recording some of these conversations. Well, he said they're never gonna, I mean, I had some documentation to go here's what's going on.
Yeah, I don't even need that. I'm just calling. I'm not negotiating with this. We're not having a discussion about what happened.
It happened. Okay. And so, one of the signs that you're dealing with evil is there's confusion. If there's confusion in the room and there's like, I know I said this and this person is looking at me saying, I did not say it.
I know it did it. I went back and wrote it down. I know it happened. And then I'm looking at them later and they're gaslighting.
I can like it didn't happen. Now you're dealing with evil because evil always confuses. Truth is always clear and crystal clear and knowledgeable. But evil's always got confusion.
There's always a circular thing and you can hear it even in her conversation with herself. How circular it is and just keeps coming back around again. I don't want to come back around through it again. I just want to leave it.
That's why Merz excuses out. Get out screw with my car. Unbelievable. You little twergy.
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