I'm Doing the Dance: On Full Plates and Holding Complexity in Your 40s: Clara Artschwager

Life is full. Your plate is full. You're doing the dance.In this conversation, Clara Artschwager and I talk about what it means to navigate the fullness of midlife — the work, the kids, the relationships, the inner reckoning — without emotionally freaking out all the time.We met four years ago. Clara wasn't married yet. She didn't have kids. We clicked on business stuff. Now we're walking through multiple portals together: motherhood, marriage, creative work, the midlife squeeze. Our friendship has grown with us through voice memos, those timeless-yet-totally-2026 conversations that feel like we're back in the 90s with the phone cord wrapped around us.In this episode, we talk about:→ Female friendship in your 40s: How friendships can grow with you as you move through different life stages → "I'm doing the dance": The fullness of midlife and holding complexity without losing yourself → How women solve the world's problems through voice memos alone → "There's no there there": Letting go of "if I can just get to THIS point, then I'll be happy"→ Contentedness in your 40s: Being delighted by what you already own→ Doing the inner work in community: Why Portal work is better togetherABOUT CLARA: Clara Artschwager is a coach, writer, and teacher who helps people do the foundational work of becoming themselves — before, during, and beyond relationships. She's curious about why we are the way we are, and she's spent years guiding clients through the deep reckoning that transforms how we show up in every area of our lives. Clara cooks with the exact right ratio of butter and salt, loves a good voice memo, good book, & good pastry, and is doing the midlife dance with grace.Find her: @ithinkilikeyou.co https://claraartschwager.substack.com/ CHAPTERS: 04:21 How we met 06:51 Female friendships in your 40s 08:43 "I'm doing the dance" 12:48 Voice memo friendships 19:18 Holding complexity in your 40s 25:21 "No bad days" - not emotionally freaking out when plates are spinning 32:36 "There's no there there" - letting go of external fixes 38:39 Being delighted by what you already own 42:03 Contentedness vs. content consumption in your 40s 46:55 40 Portal wisdom: "I wish I had been told I didn't have to be married to be successful" 50:03 How do we be in relationship without losing ourselves? 56:11 Retreat InvitationSUBMIT YOUR WISDOM: the40portal.com/submitJOIN THE PORTAL RETREAT THIS JUNEClara and I talk about how Portal work is better together. The reckoning with yourself doesn't have to be done alone.I'm gathering a small group of women in the Hudson Valley for The Portal Retreat | June 17-19, 2026.A few spots left → the40portal.com/retreat📧 substack.com/@the40portal🌐 the40portal.com 📷 IG: @the40portal 🛠️ Tools & Resources: the40portal.com/toolsHost: Catherine ZackGuest: Clara ArtschwagerEditor: Ruwantha Gunasinghe© 2026 The 40 Portal