105. I'm Gentle With My Daughter for Ten Minutes. Then I Tell Myself to Stop Being Such a F*cking Embarrassment

You can talk your daughter down in two minutes. Then you turn around and tell yourself to stop being such a f*cking embarrassment.Same brain. Same mum. Two completely different voices within minutes.🧠 What we cover in this episode:Why you can co-regulate a child in two minutes and tear yourself apart for the rest of the dayThe "good girl" reflex and how we absorbed an inward voice between six and twenty-sixWhy co-regulation is a directional skill — and most ADHD mums have only built it pointing outwardWhy the inward channel isn't empty — it's full of RSD running threat assessment on youWhy "be kinder to yourself" has never worked (and isn't going to)Why gratitude journals, affirmations, "filling your cup," and "talk to yourself like your best friend" don't fix thisWhy softness towards yourself can feel like a threat to the structure holding everything togetherThe identity layer — being "the regulated one," the calm mum, the one who handles itThe one thing that actually works — and yes, you'll feel ridiculous doing it💭 This episode is for you if:📥 Free Resource:➡️ Energy Accounting Guide — for when you've worked out the cup isn't empty, it's got a hole in the bottom of it. A free guide to figure out where your energy is actually going. 👉 Download here📓 Want to go deeper?The ADHD Values & Planner is for when you realise being "the regulated one" has become an identity, not a choice — and you want to find your way back to what actually matters to you. 👉 Get the planner here🎧 Related Episodes:S1 EP9: An RSD Story — Taking My Own Advice 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/an-rsd-story-taking-my-own-advice-s1-ep9/S3 EP35: You Were the Good Girl. That's Why You're Falling Apart Now. 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-35-you-were-the-good-girl-thats-why-youre-falling-apart-now/S3 EP53: QUICK RESET: Self-Care Feels Nice. Self-Regulation Keeps You Alive. 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-53-quick-reset-self-care-feels-nice-self-regulation-keeps-you-alive/📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:https://wa.me/61403457313✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast