Important If True 35: Hammacher, Schlemmer, and You

When we walked into your living room, and our eyes fell on your fine imported Brazilian Eucalyptis Coffee Table With Integrated Aquarium, we couldn't help but notice that the smartphone, tablet, or other in-home electronic device that signifies your wealth and worldliness was left open to Important If True. "How captivating you must be," we thought, as we leafed through the episode and wondered which of life's biggest conundrums you'd be puzzling through with us, what advice you sought and hoped we'd help answer. Things like: Is a mirror really a reflection of ourselves if it only works when we smile? Do strangers offer helpful advice so they can live on in your memories? And, how do you tie a shoe so it really stays on there? Impressed with your taste, depth, and apparent largess, we buy ourselves a seven million dollar replica Wild West town with your credit card before you notice. Discussed: Shaq feeling Twitterers around him, defunct online service GEnie, putting in contact lenses, remembering strangers, being a memorable stranger, WikiHow: How to Take Out Contact Lenses Without Touching Your Eye, mirror that only works when you smile, coercive smile-based compensation at customer service jobs, tying your shoes like a square knot instead of a granny knot, Every Time I Tie My Shoes: A Novel, Every Time I Tie My Shoes: Short Fiction, Caldecott Medal-winning children's book Every Time I Tie My Shoes, Hammacher Schlemmer, The Sharper Image, Brookstone, Amphibious Sub-Surface Watercraft ($300,000), 23-Acre Wild West Town Amusement Park ($7,000,000), Genuine 7 Foot Robby the Robot ($32,000), a lot more stupid shit from Hammacher Schlemmer that I'm not going to list all of, what kind of '80s you are, "'Big' or Murderer?", one second a day video made while staring into a smile mirror, Hammacher Schlemmer hoarder house, $30,000 $15,000 Important If True podcast appearance, Zoltar fortune telling machine, The Gotham Golfcart, the shitty Hefner fantasy of Hammacher Schlemmer, weird old early 20th-century aspirational status objects, "Be the New Schlemmer" marketing campaign, J Peterman (catalogue), J Peterman (Seinfeld character), ridiculous strategies to profit on the back of the inane 17-hour time-delay ghost concept from last week's episode, tattooing your naked ghost, the complex path of the Earth through the infinite universe Send us your questions at [email protected]. If you enjoyed this and would like to subscribe to an ad-free feed, please consider supporting Idle Thumbs by backing our Patreon. Jake's Endorsement: The Idle Thumbs telling of the epic saga of the Team Fortress 2 virtual hat economy, as supplied by CaptainInvictus Chris' Endorsement: Instant Pot automated pressure cooker and J. Kenji Lopez-Alt's pressure cooker beef stew recipe–and excellent New York Times recipe author Melissa Clark has a detailed Instant Pot guide and a new Instant Pot cookbook Nick's Endorsement: Doing a good old-fashioned jigsaw puzzle, like the Nick-approved Disneyland map jigsaw puzzle or Pixar: The Artist's Desk jigsaw puzzle