Oh, yeah, hooker, John Lee. Welcome. Computer, play kinks, duh. Oh, right.
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. I don't even have the list pulled up. That's like three things long. I bet I can remember.
I've seen things people believe Blade Runner. Total recall. Barjo. Barjo.
Barjo. No, that's an Alberpune movie. Oh, God. What's it called?
It was that one from last week with Peter Wellman. Jesus. Oh, screamers. It's crazy to forget the movie where the climactic battle is someone bombing a field of children.
But here I am. These are just the times we live in. And so I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. All those.
And now 2001's Impostor. Impostor. Which of course is a film about a pork dish slow grilled with pineapple and citrus. What are we talking about here?
I'm thinking of Alpostor. Impostor. It's spelled like it sounds. A 2001 American science fiction film.
Rob, it's not every day we get an American film on this run of. I'm sure this is American and not Canadian. It feels Canadian to me. It's got some Canadian.
Those Canadian seams. Let's look up these filming locations here. California and Arizona. I'm told it's an American science.
My sources over at the free encyclopedia. They tell me it's American. I know these films aren't French. They're American.
I show me a lot of movie. So this is Dick Me. Right? Yeah.
This is Dick Me. It is Dick Me. We're talking about the filmic adaptations of Phil Kydick's works. Excluding Man in the High Castle because it's too damn long.
Too high. That man is Mr. Too damn high up in the castle. Way too far up there.
I can't get there. Can't be dealing with all that. Also, I don't need to watch a show about what if the Nazis won. I'm living that shit every day.
I'm living that shit every damn day. Yeah. Dan, this movie is called Imposter. Yep.
It's directed by Gary Fleeter, I'm going to say. Yeah, you could say that. Written a story by, of course, Phil Kydick, written by Scott Rosenberg and Carolyn Case. Not familiar.
Based on, oh, who's, oh, well, oh, well, Scotty over here. He was one of the writers on Con Air and the other Nicholas Cage movie. I'm going in 60 seconds. What happened here?
What happened, my man? It's not good. It's not good. Screenplay for Venom.
Hey, Tom Hardy? Yeah. I've never seen that, but he's doing a weird voice in it, right? Who, Tom Hardy?
Yeah. You know what? I don't think he's doing a weird voice in this one. I think this is the normal voice.
No, it's always a weird voice. What's he doing that's weird about it? He's kind of doing like a broken sort of like... Oh, he's like a little...
He's like a little... He's like a... He's kind of like a little... He's like a little...
He's like a little... Oh, no, this is Timmy. Oh, geez, I got Timmy on all of my good shirt. I guess we have Venom or whatever.
Oh, it's a test of my newsboy cap. It's getting through my ears. Oh, no, I want to eat dogs and people. Oh, geez, what is he from Ohio?
I know. As soon as I was like, wait. No, you can't say that. Venom is not the number one public enemy of cats and dogs anymore.
It is the citizens of Springfield. It is innocent people. Cool. Anyway.
Yep. No, I wanted to text. But you're man. I can't wait to find out what ethnicity is sneaking into the country to attack our beloved web slingers.
JD Vance, save us. Oh, geez. Evil, Pillsbury, Doughboy, motherfucker. Same color eyes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He is a bit of a Pillsbury, Doughboy. There's just a clip of... We're not going to talk about conservative douchebags all day here, but...
Charlie Kirk, that has been popping up. Oh, yeah. Old tiny face giant head, Charlie Kirk. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Charlie Kirk looks like the inflatable pilot in the movie Airplane. Oh, my God. Yeah, he does. That's...
I'm sure this has probably been pointed out on the internet. The internet is infinite like that. But I saw his fucking giant stupid pumpkin head with his little face. And I was just like, oh, oh.
I mean, here's what I'll say. I've never heard anyone point out that very apt comparison. And I'm on the internet, I go to Mount. I'm talking to my email twice a day.
So... Which is more than enough. I got to say. Yeah, well, I just...
I got to stay vigilant to snipe any promotional emails I forgot to unsubscribe to. Or in the case of Michael's Crafts, if you're out there and you work in marketing at Michael's Crafts, I just want to say I hate you. You will not stop sending me emails no matter how many times I click unsubscribe. I'm about to involve the police.
I just want my piece. I just want peace. And more importantly, I don't need to buy that shit. I don't need to buy blank hands 50 feet or 50-50 shirts anymore.
I haven't done SketchCon in several years. Stop emailing me. Hey, I had a funny idea for a sketch for you. Maybe you could come by the store and we can talk about it.
And maybe... How funny would it be if someone with a silly voice painted a birdhouse or bought a crick-ut machine? That could be funny. I want those crick-ut machines.
Make all your custom cuts. No. Guys, unsubscribe to email period. Shut down your email addresses.
I don't think we need that anymore. No. Hot take. I need email.
No, I need it. Should we have a segment where we just go through our email inboxes or personal ones? I mean mine right now are just a couple bills that I have to pay. Read the amounts.
Sure. Let's see my gas bill. Five dollars. Let's go be efficient, King.
That's right. Cold showers, raw food diet. Cats for warmth. Oh, it looks like I also have an email here for my local transcendental meditation facility.
They're running a special Dan. Fire sale. It's David Lynch. It's David Lynch.
Yeah. No, we're not here. What do they call it? Talk TM.
Unless TM stands for the movie, which is impostor. What are we going to say? What if they... Oh, I was going to ask like what if they...
Oh, I was going to ask like what the word is for like when you achieve like transcendence and like transcendental meditation. Oh, that's good. That's not like what is the going clear of that. I don't know what that is.
I'm not saying that there isn't one. I don't know of it. All I know about TM is that like you get a mantra. You do it for 20 minutes twice a day and you're supposed to feel better.
That's all I really know where. And they can... It's funny to have a sale for that. Yeah, I know.
Well, hold on. You want me to... Let me see what this is all about here. This is a new segment we're doing called Our Emails.
Let's see. Is that like her emails? Yeah. Her.
Yeah. But our emails. Let's see. Hi, Robert.
The election, the economy, the random acts of violence. We have them all. Not a great start, but okay. That is crazy.
Random acts of violence. Random acts of violence. For peace and harmony. Transcendental meditation is effortless, evidence-based, guaranteed meditation practice that addresses toxic stress and promotes inner peace and wellness.
It's the pitch. It's the pitch. It's the pitch. Yeah.
I love that too of just being like, you know all that bad stuff happening all around you? That's toxic. You do not need to know about that. Yeah.
It's... I mean, listen. I'm not... I know plans on practicing on learning to you.
I'm not practicing to you. I prefer to keep my head in the sand in other ways. Thank you. I don't practice meditation.
What's that? Hi, pitch. The ringing noise. This is my washing machine.
It's a loose belt. We got going on in there. I say. So when you said I'll be ready to record in 15 minutes, you meant I have to loosen the belt on my washer and hit start and then I'll be good to go.
That is on the other side of my apartment and still... Damn. Still very, very honorable. All right.
Imposter. Well, let me just ask right off the bat. Yeah. Am I speaking to the real rock?
Oh, geez. How do we know? Does our body scan? The only way to be sure is to scan each other's bodies.
Yeah. All right. Well, I'll scan my body and then I'll send you a picture of it. I do not like what I say.
I told you about the time I got body scanned, right? At the bigger tall store? No. Did you actually get body scan?
Yes. Where? That's what they do now. DXL.
Okay. I needed a suit and didn't have time to lose 50 pounds. Didn't have time for measurements. Yeah.
Didn't have time for... No, well, they don't do measurements. You walk in and they're very nice because they know what they're about to do. It's very upsetting.
Yeah. They're like, like, first time in, no problem. We got you. We'll get your measurements and we'll look at our suit.
I'll see you at the suit options for you. So what I'm going to need you to do is put your email here, then go to the dressing room and then strip down and stand on the pad. Wow. And I was...
She's like, there's a camera that's going to scan you and it's going to get your measurements. I'm like, really? Okay. Where did those scans go?
Like what? Right. Who's looking at that? What happens?
Yeah. And she's like, oh, don't worry. They don't get saved. I'm like, not for one second.
Do I believe me? Why would you do this incredibly convoluted expensive thing if you weren't stealing my belly data? That is such a 2010 lie. Yeah.
Right. Yeah. It's like, oh, yeah. I've been alive for the past 15 years.
I know you're fucking doing something with it. I know you're selling it to somebody. Who are you selling it to? Well, we spent $5,000 installing these so that we wouldn't have to buy a tape measure for Christ.
Right. So, but yeah, you do have to strip down to your underwear. Yeah. I want to get completely naked just as someone who doesn't have to do something like penis.
Someone is somewhere in Quantico or the NSA or whatever. I mean, real talk. There's some horrible pervert AI that's really... That's where that is going.
Yeah. It's just some AI that's really into looking at like strangers dicks. Yeah. Big and tall men.
That's the AI's kink. Yeah. It's like big and tall men with their arms straight out and down and hanging down. Yeah.
The limits of AI, it's like we can only generate normal body types. We can't apply this technology to funky cartoons. We need to get more guys' shapes. Yeah.
So, look, is it... Don't go there. I'm a big fat guy like me. I don't go there.
I don't go there. I don't go there. I don't go there. He's DXL on the cutting edge of measurements of body measurements.
I don't know. I've never heard of that before. Like going into a clothing store and then being like, all right, just step into the scanner here so I don't have to touch it with a tape measure. All right.
Maybe that's it. Maybe turn over was like insanely high because all the sales associates were like, I can't do it. I'm done. He's too gross.
We'll not touch this guy. You know what you signed up for? You thought it was all going to be tall? No.
Of course not. It's big and tall. We can call it tall and sometimes big. It's big and tall.
Anyway, when it's scammy, it did clock that I was an impostor. Oh, no. Yeah. They're really not really big enough.
Yeah. There's no... Yeah, go to the regular department store. Get the hell out of here.
And then I went back to my car and I found my own dead body with my throat cut. Spoiler for the end of impostor. Yeah. I got to tell you, Dan, this movie is, I think it's so boring.
Yeah. Yeah. For a large part of it, but I do like that ending. The ending was really funny.
It is. I think it's way more graphic than I was expecting. Like watching everyone disintegrate. Yes.
It was pretty funny. It was pretty funny. It's pretty funny. Also, it seemed, again, didn't read this short story either, but reading the summary of the short story, it seems like beat by beat very similar.
Yeah, I'm sure. And that does make sense because that seems much more like a short story ending than a Hollywood ending. Yeah. According to the trivia page on MTV, this was originally supposed to be a segment in a sci-fi anthology movie that just got expanded out to feature length, which it definitely feels like.
Yeah. Like when we're watching Vincent Offrio chase himself around a plaza for what feels like an hour and a half? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. That's too much. It should have been like an episode of outer limits or something like that. This is definitely not a feature.
It should have been like a 45 minute episode of a TV show or something. But that being said, I think I liked Inafrio in this. I think he's doing really good stuff. I think he's really good stuff.
I think he's really good. He's good. He's pretty good. He's facing you and falling off.
Yeah. He keeps his face right where it's supposed to be the whole time, which is nice. Dude, maybe we have to have a triple feature this week and also watch Men in Black. You just want to watch movies.
I think I just want to watch movies. Yeah. I guess I could do that my own time. You're like, what if we watched eight mile and then we watched, I mean, we could watch either eight mile or men in black for this week's.
Well, I do want to see that when we talked about the hidden, the hidden, yeah, which I have not seen. I have no idea what to expect here. Well, I mean, you not knowing what to expect is exactly how we ended up with Nemesis, right? You had heard about Nemesis and it's right.
And so you're betting a thousand as far as I'm concerned. Well, we'll see. We'll see. Well, you're betting 500.
I just remember the French dog movie. Yeah. Yeah. And then Omega to we did talk about it.
Oh, yeah. But that was already that was like, we at that point, we're both like, let's do it. Yeah, we were we were both big pewing guys at that point. Yeah, we're all pewing up over here.
I'm all pewing up over here. I'm all pewing up. Oh, man, what is in my throat here? All right.
All right. Do you like how professional podcasts are? I was feeling the silence. I just going, Oh, Dan, I thought it was such a crazy decision to well, first this movie opens with like a what's what feels like a really extensive exposition.
Yeah. It feels like it's a half an hour long. And it's like maybe, you know, maybe five minutes tops, but like just exposition and a bunch of shit that like I don't know what you're talking about here. That is that is giving very like, yeah, when you think about like how front loaded and loaded this is with nothing in between that really is the tell that it was supposed to be a much shorter thing.
Yeah. Because in a shorter thing, you do have to do that probably with the sort of like preamble. Right. And I would like even even so though, even if this was like a shorter segment or whatever, it's tight enough that aliens are attacking.
We have to build a big dome around. No, well, where are they? I need to know where they're attacking. It's Alpha Centauri.
We don't Alpha Centauri one. One, not two. Oh, no, it is just Alpha Centauri, my bad. Anyway, and also it's like, what is the name of the agency defending?
Yeah. What, which departments are there? Are they all in in in the lockstep with one another? Is there some sort of like conflict?
Yeah. I mean, I feel like this movie. Also, what happened to our main characters? Dad, is that never going to come up again?
This movie feels very similar to Screamers to me where it's just like a lot of exposition up top where it's like, okay, here's what's going on. You have like that long chiron in the beginning of Screamers when it's like, and then the, I forget, any bee or whatever, they're like, oh wait, you're talking about Screamers. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I think it was the NAB. And then they, you know, they formed this, their own privatized army to fight against the strike workers. So then the strikers and the scientists that form the Alliance and now they've been doing battle and they created the screamer and you're just like, what are we talking about?
We are so far down this rabbit hole now. What's so annoying too is like, especially in that case, this is not the screamers episode, but I feel like that's such an interesting jumping off point. And then they just do absolutely nothing with it. Especially, yeah.
There it's. And you, again, like I'm really fascinated by the people who write Wikipedia just because and a lot of times it does seem like they care a lot. And I think for some people, just like being, like they just, they love the lore at the beginning and then just like, are more than happy to do all the legwork projecting that onto all the nothing that's happening. Sure.
It feels like you could just get away with that. I mean, it works. That's the kind of thing that works in a book or a short story or something. But when it's, when it's like this, when it's a movie, you just, I don't know, it just does not work that exposition dump in the beginning just feels like, what, like, I just got here.
What are you talking? You're like, you're giving me too much right at the top. And how much of this do I actually have to pay? Basically, basically none of it.
Right. And even like the stakes between the characters, like don't matter, like I don't know, D'Nofrio's character, you know, this is like, it's the fugitive, right? It's the fugitive model. And you never get the, I don't care moment.
Yeah. Yeah. Right. And it's like, he does care.
He cares a lot. Yeah. And the whole time it's like, you're like a, like, he set up as this absolute fucking raving lunatic who's ripping people's hearts out of their chests, guessing. He killed, we've learned he killed 10 people just because he had a hunch that they were aliens.
Yeah. Yeah. And it's like the reveal at the end is just like, oh man, egg on my face. I'm sorry.
Yeah. You know, like, again, it's, I think it's so much more interesting if there's this clearer sort of like, I think reflected in reality, like divide in thinking between the like spy agency and the fucking military or whatever, where it's like, if there's more conflict between like the Spencer Olam guy and who's a Hathaway, like just in their thinking, if it's allowed, right? Because he even is like, he's like, the bomb is a bad idea. He says that at one point.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's sort of like difference where it's like, well, what are we really doing here?
I'm a scientist versus this guy who's like, I'm a wolf. I'm just like hunting people. Yes. That could have been cool.
It could have been cool. Instead, none of that matters at all. No. Let me talk about the cast here.
So we talked to not for you. Who else we got? Gary Sinise. Gary Sinise.
Gary Sinise, actually, yeah. Yeah. Oh, weird looking guy to begin with. Yes.
Really? Yeah. Kind of good casting in that regard. Yes.
Made to look way weirder in a couple spots that had me busting up laughing. Like when he puts those little sunglasses on. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
It's very intensely staring at Hathaway, Vincent, and Alfredo's character from across the way. Rob, I was laughing and laughing. It's like, here, we need to disguise you. Put on these little glasses that you wear in a tanning bed.
Yeah. No, no, no. Gary Sinise is so, he is just Lieutenant Dan, you know? Not just like that's the biggest character that he played, but like he feels so out of place in a sci-fi movie.
He feels like a guy who belongs in like modern times. Like in the 20th century. Yeah. He's limited to just this one century.
Yeah. He should be like, I know he's in of Meissen Men also. Like that's where he belongs. He belongs in a pair of George.
I think he plays George as the smart one. Yeah, yes, George. And then Malkovich is. Oh, it's the, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But right off the bat, I don't buy him in a sci-fi movie. So when he's like in the beginning, when he's taken a shower and he's like, play some music. And it's like, what?
Fooker, John Lee. Well, first it's like some sort of futuristic like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
He's playing some J's. No, I said the music, not the shower. Gross. Ah, geez.
Oh, God. Talk about it. Talk about a, you, a sci-fi utopia, right? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Bathe in the beginning.
Comme every day of the week. Also, I think it's your turn to be it to yourself. Sorry. So David Lynch, but not his high pitch.
Yeah. It's like, man, it's more down here. It's a little bit of a... Yeah.
Yeah. It's still a little me. Yeah. You know, some impressions it helps to have like a phrase, a word or a phrase to like get you there.
Yeah. Weirdly for Gary Cineas. Mine would be, I'm a little rat boy. He's never said that.
I'm kind of like a human rat. Me. Me. Me.
Me. Who else? We got Madeleine Stowe as Maya Olem, the Gary Cineas' wife. She plays a doctor in this.
I've got a lot for her to do in this. A lot of like video calls she's on. Yeah. They really did her dirty.
Those calls aren't even, they don't even have a good signal. Yeah. She, her character gets absolutely just eviscerated at the end there. Yeah.
Madeline Squibb. Yeah. Just lit up like she's in a for Hovin' movie. It's pretty fun.
We got Tony Shalub. We got a little lubed up here. Just a little. Just a little lubed up.
It's a jungle out there. It's the Monk theme song. Oh, okay. I don't know.
You know another Monk theme song? Randy Newman? Randy Newman. Randy Newman.
American Songster. Yeah. Yeah. Shalub also, yeah.
It's just enough to sort of like moisten us up and then he gets also Swiss cheese. He does. It's good that all the characters that we set up relationships with are gone for most of the movie. Yes.
Don't you think? Yeah. Yeah. And then we're, and then we get McEyFiber who's only deal is every five minutes.
He pulls a gun on Gary's and he's like, maybe I don't trust you. That's what I got. Yeah. It's unfortunate.
Everything that really, yeah. So we got McEyFy for in this as Kale who's like a lives in the. Whatever they call it. The zone.
Yeah. They litter. I believe it's called the dead zone. Is it the dead zone?
I'm almost positive. They say the dead zone. Oh no. But they do call people who live their zoners whatever it's called.
He's got a break. There he is. What was I just listening? I call it like a clip of an interview with Walker.
Is someone talking about walking and you have one line and it was who do you think I am because who do you think I am? That's funny. Tim Guinea. I'm going to say.
Whoa. I know it's not that kind of show here but. We do not. We do not traffic an anti-Italian discrimination on this program.
Well, maybe you don't. Yes we do. Is there any more people? Is there any people more fun to slander?
No, of course not. What are they going to do? Cry? Probably.
No one them. Very emotional. So what do we know? Tes Guinea from Rob.
Tim. Tim Guinea is. What did I say? Ted.
I'm not sure who pops up and shit. He's in the blade for a bit. Are you familiar with the movie Blade? Dan.
Is that the movie about motherfuckers who want to ice skate uphill? That's right. I can't stress this enough. The ice is going to break.
So he's an alum of the bonus show technically. What was he on? John Carpenter's Wampiers. Oh yeah, he plays the priest.
Yes, yeah, yeah. There you go. All right. Check out the big brain owner.
Hey, I had to look at it to know that. That's fun. Who else we got? Gary Durden.
Not Tyler Durden. And not Gary Sinise. Gary Durden is probably best known from CSI being on 183 episodes of that show. It's work around.
Do you know what he does? On CSI? Yeah, like is he the computer guy? No, no, he's the lab guy.
He's in the field. He's like somewhat of a badass. He has gone on him. Okay.
Far fucking out. Yeah, he's solving mysteries and crimes and shit. He's out there. The David Caruso of the original CSI.
Another badass. Yeah, he's oh no, this is the original CSI. That's what I'm saying. Caruso's on the fuck.
Oh yeah, yes, yes, you're right. Yeah, kind of. He's not like William Peterson plays like the main guy, Grissom, who is like the head of the CSI department. So he's like their boss, but you know.
Wow, it's so funny that he's in that too. William Peterson? Yeah. He's in like the best solve-em-murder movie.
Yeah. Well, yeah, right. He plays fucking, what did we watch? To live in Dine LA.
To live in Dine LA, yeah. Which is fucking awesome. And he plays such a piece of shit to the genert in it. So yeah.
And then a couple years later, he's in Manhunter, which he plays a guy, you know, a similar character or whatever in that. He's a cop, tracking down a killer. But he's a sort of character in that he has no soul. Yeah, yeah.
But it's like a different way in time. Yeah. He's been completely hollowed out by his job and he feels like he has a heart thing connecting with people in general. He's like sad that he has no soul in there.
Exactly. He's not having a soul. Yes, yes. And then, you know, see, he gets to have a piece of his soul back.
I mean, he gets to do that fun thing where you have like doing autopsy and you eat a sandwich while you're doing it on top. I mean, that's nice work if you can get it. That's like a nine to five kind of Friday gig. Yeah.
A couple of small parts for like Elizabeth Pina and Lindsey Kraus who like. Sorry. I'm looking at the cash sheet. The cash sheet.
There's the cash sheet. I'm looking at it on the other hand. I was about to call ladies name out for being funny, but it turns out I read it completely wrong. Her name is Judy Jean Burns.
I was like, oh, we got to talk about Judge Judy Beans. I can't read, man. It's over for me. He's done guys.
He's done. Yeah. That's I mean, that's pretty much it though. So once we get this huge exposition dump, basically saying aliens from Alpha Centauri have been bombing and attacking Earth.
Earth, we had to form this sort of global community and. I mean, the preamble is pretty clear. Like a fascist totalitarian military government. Military government put a big dome around Earth, you know, block out all of the bombs, the incoming bombs and whatnot.
Oh, and it's important to note they've never seen the centaur, the Alpha Centauri aliens. Yeah. Or it should be important to note. It doesn't really matter.
It doesn't really matter. They have pretty clear cut ways of knowing who's an alien and who's not. I thought it was also fun that the footage of the bombings of like, you know, just things coming from outer space and crashing into Earth is footage from the movie Armageddon. And I mean, they take a good amount of footage from Armageddon for that disaster stuff.
And then also it's smart. It's like, if I'm, you know, Armageddon worked. That was a huge hit. Yeah.
So use the footage from successful movies in your movie. Yeah. And also they use footage and costumes from Starship Troopers. That's interesting.
The entire military is wearing the Starship trooper like outfits, the helmets, the whole thing, the fascist sort of thing. So I mean, really, this could take place in the Starship troopers universe. The Alpha Centauris. I mean, maybe they're big bugs.
We don't know. They are big bugs. Maybe they are big bugs. We don't know.
That is like, I mean, that is sort of the whole situation with the movie in a nutshell, as it just takes window dressing for more interesting things. Totally. Yeah. So after that, we get the opening credits over footage of Gary Sunnis and Madeleine's so making love in like a really sort of like the blue sort of nighttime lighting and then just sort of like doing the like in quotations sexy movie scene where they like kind of roll around and they're like embracing each other.
Nobody's doing anything. There's no choking involved. You know what I mean? There's no, there's no.
All right. So that's half a star deducted for you. It's one of those classy love scenes that you see. But it's so strange to put it like right over the opening credits before we even know these people and just like who like I know that's Madeleine so and Gary Sunnis and but why are we watching them in one of their most intimate moments right now?
Well, luckily that question never gets answered because they mostly don't spend any time together and there's very little conflict in their relationship. That's right. Sunnis, what's his name is Spencer. Spencer gets up.