In The Thick Of It with Clear Creek Ranch Mom

Today I'm talking with Leah at Clear Creek Ranch Mom .  A Tiny Homestead Podcast is sponsored by Greenbush Twins & Company. https://www.homesteadliving.com/subscribe/ref/41/ https://homesteadliving.com/the-old-fashioned-on-purpose-planner/ref/41/ www.patreon.com/atinyhomestead If you'd like to support me in growing this podcast, like, share, subscribe or leave a comment. Or just buy me a coffee  https://buymeacoffee.com/lewismaryes 00:00 listening to A Tiny Homestead, the podcast comprised entirely of conversations with homesteaders, cottage food producers, and crafters. I'm your host, Mary Lewis. At Green Bush Twins and Company, we believe in the power of creativity, imagination, and art to bring people together.  Our mission is to inspire connection across all ages, encouraging understanding, individuality,  and a true sense of belonging. We're building more than a brand. We're growing a mindful community rooted in kindness, intention, and shared purpose. 00:29 At our core, it's about real people sharing real stories, ideas, and products that make everyday life more meaningful.  If you believe in living with purpose and supporting brands that care, you'll feel right at home with Greenbush Twins. That tiny Homestead podcast is sponsored by Greenbush Twins and Company.  Today I'm talking with Leah Peterson from Clear Creek Ranch Mom in Nebraska. And she also happens to be my fabulous co-host  on Grit and Grace in the Heartland Women in Agriculture. Good,  um, well afternoon. It's noon now. 00:58 It's high noon. It is high noon.  What's for lunch besides I have a birthday cake in my kitchen, but not much else going on yet.  I don't know. I might  nuke a couple waffles and put some real maple syrup on them. That sounds delightful. It kind of does.  So  Leah's been on the show, like,  I think it's been five times now. And then she became my co-host on the other  podcast. 01:26 Leah posted a photo on her Facebook page of a cowhide from a calf  and  was talking about why they have that. And I thought that it would be interesting for my listeners  to know what was going on with that. So Leah, do you want to tell me about that? I can.  I always say that  raising livestock teaches little people so many life lessons that are applicable. 01:55 you know, in all parts of your life and will be for all time.  And so as a child, um my first  memories, some of the harder memories from calving season was honestly learning about the miracle of adoption  right through my own  eyes,  watching it in the cowherd. 02:18 It's a practice as old as time. It's evolved and changed over time and many people are still advocates for this method of helping a cow adopt a new baby and other people have moved on to try different things.  But we're still  kind of old school here and we subscribed to what we call the no fail method. It is hard. It's kind of yucky. um But it works.  And so when we have a cow, 02:46 who has lost her calf for whatever reason and she's in milk. We can take another calf, say a twin for instance, or a calf whose mama doesn't have enough milk, and we call it grafting, grafting a calf onto the mama.  And it's very interesting when you look at different breeding programs, different breeds, there are different traits that rise to the surface as being most  usual for that particular breed. When I was with 03:16 Derek Josie out at TDF Honest, he raises pure red Jersey cows for milk.  And those ones do not have the maternal trait of desiring to have a baby. They have their baby and happily will let you take it and he won't even ball for it. There's nothing wrong with that. That's how the Jersey cows live.  Our beef cattle want to raise a baby. 03:40 I want to be careful in describing that though, because it's not, I don't want you to think, I don't want listeners to think that it's some emotional bond. It is a physiological response. It's biologically the way they are bred and how they live. And that is that those hormones that kick in when they have given birth and they start producing milk, they desire to have a baby. And so when we have a baby in need, 04:10 What we will do is we will skin the hide off of the deceased baby. So she's lost her baby, it was stillborn, it died, whatever the reasons might be. We will skin that hide off of her baby and we'll make what we call a calf coat  and we will adhere that calf coat on to her presumptively to be adopted baby. Do you tie it on to them? 04:38 Yeah, so you can use a variety of methods. We use  sometimes some glue to help hold it on and then we use baling twine  and  tie it  so that it kind of starts at the back of the neck and goes down their back, truly like a superhero cape, I guess you could call it,  and tied it on.  And then you  can do some other things. You can apply some scents to mask the smell because again, 05:06 The emotional connection  between a mama and a calf is not what you think it is.  They identify their calves by sound, which is truly amazing. They can find their baby in a group of 500 by their sound.  I think there is probably a measure of recognition.  Hard to say how complicated that is because I'm like, all little black baby calves, for instance, look the same to me. um And I can't remember if cows see in color or not,  but it's definitely by scent. 05:35 And so if you can mask their original smell and make it smell like their baby, they are  way more likely to uh accept it straight away. Now, depending on the cow, depending on the breed, I have seen it go like snap of a finger, this is my baby now, and I have seen times where it'll take 48 hours, but I've never seen it not work. 06:00 You  love what you do because you just told a very hard story  and your voice sounded so satisfied telling it.  It is. It's something  I'm passionate about because it helps elevate  more understanding about ranchers and not just ranchers because I know this method can be used with uh other animals. 06:29 and trying to help them adopt babies that aren't theirs. SAKE, it happened all on its own or with a little help from humans. It happens a lot.  I'm passionate about it. And it's so satisfying because while you see videos and photos of little girls and boys feeding bottles to baby calves, yes, it can be done. Yes, it's a good chore. Yes, it's  rewarding. 06:54 but there is  nobody that feeds a baby calf like the cow herself.  It's just the way nature intended it to be. In beef cattle, not talking about veal calves and those in dairies and whatnot, but for beef cattle, it  is the best outcome. And it's so satisfying when after a day together, being  confined together that you can turn them out. And we call it traveling pairs. You see them travel together as one. 07:23 back into the wild, so to speak, and feel so relieved and satisfied that you have helped them mother up  and that baby is going to be cared for until it's weaned.  I love it.  See, this is why I wanted you to tell the story because I knew you'd tell it in a way that everybody would get it. um So what happens to that calf hide once the calf is grafted? Well, usually it's sort of, it's 07:48 just like any piece of leather, right? It withers eventually and  they'll shed it. Sometimes we'll cut it off. It's very smelly, you can imagine,  a couple days and uh it'll wither away and eventually then the scavengers will pick it up and disappear with it. Okay, cool.  Thank you for telling the story.  I  always feel weird asking you this stuff because I am a novice. Like I am,  I know nothing. 08:16 about any of this. And I'm so curious and I'm like,  Lea knows the answer. I'm going to ask her. And it's so fascinating because again, it depends on the maternal traits in different cattle breeds  and what your breeding programs are. But I'm out watching our first calf heifers, right? These are their first babies.  And in their first year being mothers, these heifers are like, I don't know, they're energetic teenagers and they're all about everyone's baby. They'll let anybody's baby. 08:43 nurse and so we call them the little robbers. These babies are out there bebopping around. They don't care who's utter they're going to. It's that second year when she has her second calf that she generally, again, depending on the breed, is more interested in just having her baby nurse and kick  away at somebody else trying to rob.  But then we have some cows. em Some of them usually are those with a little more dairy influence, so they're short horns. They will let more than one calf nurse. 09:13 they  produce milk for more than  one often, but most of our true beef cattle who are bred towards putting all their work and energy into growing one healthy calf, they don't have enough milk for more than one. So it is not common to have a beef cow  raise more than one calf if it's her calf or if it's one that's been grafted onto her. I will say we  still have one set of twins on there. 09:39 mama and she is up in the corral getting extra groceries as we call it. She's doing phenomenal at raising  both of her calves and has not rejected anybody. um We will not kick her out to summer pasture like that because it's too much  to babysit that, especially if grass is kind of short and her energy needs are not going to be enough to feed two babies properly. But uh we're gratified that all of our 10:06 transplant, we call it also transplanting a calf.  Situations have been successful. We've had some kind of yucky stuff happen in the last 10 days with the volatile weather and we've had some loss. um But so far we're cruising through, we're now on the over the hump and calving season and thankful  for the wins, the victories, are when  mamas will take a new baby without too much work. 10:34 Definitely.  So how has calving season been for you? I  suspect it's been a lot considering everything else you've had going on. Yeah, isn't it something, you you try and just to get your work done and at this time, critical time, it's like, need to get  my work done and not start a fire  because conditions are so difficult in the pastures. It's branding season. Lots of folks are branding their calves. The challenge is there's nowhere to go with them at this time. 11:04 um Pastures need to be able to rest longer. Typically, here in Nebraska, we're trying to start kicking animals out to early grass, what we call cool season grasses, around the first of May, and it's not happening. um That's next week. We're really in a critical time.  We really would need, if we could get a half inch of rain, that could buy us some time. We'd really like one to two inches of 11:33 calm, quiet rain to soak in and recharge and get our cool season grasses to go so we have some early grazing possibilities that buys you time to get hopefully a first cutting of hay and things put up so that if we look to late summer and a resurgence of drought that we dry lot cattle and if we have to feed them ourselves.  That's where we're at. um 12:03 People are just having to make some very difficult decisions right now. I'm trying to sell Daisy, um Daisy and her calf.  She's our black Angus Jersey cross mama.  to relieve us  of one mouth to feed because we hadn't planned for her to stay. um We're making some decisions already on some older cows who maybe are not um feeding their calves the best. 12:32 or potentially are open and not having a calf, they're not gonna go to pasture and get another chance, they gotta go town.  And  meanwhile, you reconcile that with none of us are wishing to contribute to a further shrink in the cow herd size, but that's where we're at.  you know, literally, if you don't have anything to feed them, that's the choice that you have to make.  And you're not alone in that, which is even scarier. Correct, correct. It's... 13:00 It's so widespread. Now, there was a tornado watch in eastern Nebraska yesterday, and I know some rain did fall there. Even if it was hail, at least it was precipitation, a very small piece. uh But desperation really across  all of Nebraska, moving west and north  into multi-states,  you start to consider  the widespread effects, and they're pretty big. 13:29 Yeah, and that doesn't even count the effects of like your household. I mean, are people's wells going dry because it's so,  you're so lacking in water? Yeah, we're okay here.  Our work, to be respectful of our aquifer, is in full play. Conservation methods are,  but certainly like in Colorado, um there's pretty significant discussion  because of no snowpack to melt, that there will be early water restrictions in place. And that includes 13:59 golf courses,  know, water parks and things like that. I don't think  we Americans are very good at thinking beyond the end of our own nose too often. If you think, it's okay, I have access to water, well, and you let your sprinklers run and run down the street that you just, you're not thinking like, how does that affect the person that's downhill from me?  And I hate that we have to have rules and regs to make people be disciplined. 14:26 about their water use, but it's a finite resource  and nobody wants to turn their tap on and have nothing come from it.  So I encourage  everybody to just be aware of good personal accountability when it comes to water use. It's so important.  It is, and honestly, if we could just realize that it's not all about  us, it's about everybody. 14:56 You know, it's not just about me. It's not just about you. It's about everybody.  It's true.  We're all in this together.  All in this together when I,  um,  friends, you know, across the Great Plains and moving west that have had this abnormally period of dry years. And again, I'm grateful that I was raised in a home to practice  stewardship, picking up your trash. 15:26 um minimizing waste,  food waste especially,  not letting the water run freely while you're brushing your teeth.  Aim small, miss small is something  I say often.  Every single person has the ability to make positive difference  and they're not hard. It's an act of thoughtfulness and self-discipline. 15:52 Yes, for sure. um So  I had a question and then I forgot it because I was listening closely to what you were saying because that's what I do all the time.  Yes, you do. So the fire that uh blew up or showed up or whatever word you want to use  when you were in town the other day,  I'm assuming they got that at least  handled. Yeah, the National Guard. 16:22 was deployed here to help. were air dropping water in some very hard to reach canyons  where there's hot spots. They're using thermal imaging.  I don't know that people realize that cedar trees,  which are the bane of our existence in Nebraska now, can hold heat for so long and have flare-ups literally for weeks or months after a fire. So they're working really hard on that and setting backfires to stop any forward advance. We have loss. 16:51 structure loss and one home burned to the ground. And I actually know the woman who lost her home and she recently lost her husband. And bless her heart. She's handling it as well as could be expected. I'm very grateful for emergency responders who were able to advance enough to give proper evacuation notices and help people gather essentials and get them. 17:21 So people, for instance, could move their camper or their boat or their horses, gather up your purses and wallets and clothes and had some time. So she was able to do that, but obviously left 95 % of her life at home and it's gone. And for the rallying of community and churches to help her and other people who were displaced, you know, there's not enough time in the day to share stories of the goodness of 17:50 people. um You kind of, it's kind of fatigued, right, of having to  deploy so much goodness over and over and over again. But it's  what we're supposed to do for each other,  why these community organizations and efforts matter to help coordinate and organize, because it's not easy to figure out how to feed 200 firefighters by yourself. certainly is not. And the community has rallied and done so and given people given of their money when they can't. 18:18 serve physically and given up their time, given their prayers and kindness. And so we'll be all right. um But again, it definitely illuminates why we have to have fire departments, why we need emergency responders and EMTs and why we need community organizers because, you know, the whole place would have burned up if we hadn't had it because there was nothing that was going to stop that monster in the winds that were blowing. 18:45 It was the selfless giving of hundreds of people that stopped the advance of the fire, putting their own lives in jeopardy. um It's truly an amazing thing when you think about them all being volunteers.  Yeah, absolutely. um So fire season. um I feel like you have been talking to me about fire season  since we first talked a little over two years ago. Has it just been fire season for two years? 19:13 You know, my friend James, the meteorologist says we just have to face the facts with climate changes.  You can call it what you want, that we are a wildfire state. And part of it is because we're actually so good at stewardship that we have a fuel load, which is your standing grasses and things. Part of it is because of letting some invasives get away, like the cedar trees and my messages. 19:38 that Eastern red cedars are not your friend in Nebraska. First of all, they hog a lot of water. Oh, do they drink water? And second of all, they cause these tinderboxes to get worse  because they burn so hot  and the trees were exploding. They were exploding and then sending the embers straight into the air. And in the 40 mile an hour winds, the embers were then traveling a mile and then reigniting. 20:01 So we're in wildfire season. We have been for a long time in this cycle of wildfire. We had a lot of fire in 2012 during a flash drought, but the fire risk didn't start till July. That's when things really dried up.  I think it's paramount that people recognize that in building a new home,  in renovating a home, in thinking about what kind of yard you want to have, that you need wildfire preparedness as part of what you're doing. That is our reality now because 20:29 there are not enough volunteers to cover every need.  And you're gonna have to be able to try to defend your home a little bit yourself. That's just the reality. That is just how it is.  And it would serve everyone well to be aware of those things.  Well, I don't wanna give you more to do, ma'am, cause you are swamped. But maybe once graduation is over  and 20:58 calving season is over.  I, if it were me, I would take some time and email a couple of realtors and mention that. Yeah.  Because I'm not sure realtors even really think about that. I agree. I agree and young homeowners and maybe if you've, and I hate to say it Mary, but the palisades  in California should have shown every American the fire can come into your town too. You're not safe just because you're in town. No. 21:27 So you've got to think about it no matter where you live. This is not just for acreages and ranches and farms. This is for everybody. Everybody.  Yes. Part of the reason that I was so hot to trot, which is a really bad way to say that right now,  to get out of where we lived before we moved here is because our neighbor's house was literally three feet  from our house. Their outside wall was three feet  from our outside wall. 21:54 And I had  nightmares about their house catching on fire and catching our house on fire or our house catching on fire and catching their house on fire. Because if one went up, the other one was going up. And I just, couldn't, I was like,  the next place we buy has to have room between homes.  And now it's like a quarter mile of room between homes. So I'm very happy about this. 22:20 And it's a hard conversation because with this wildfire risk is also the wind. And the wind is our nemesis and it blows and blows and blows and that's why people want trees and shelter belts. But you're going to have to really be smart about how you put them together and how close you put it to your house.  absolutely.  So  you have a book  that you wrote for your daughter whose birthday is today. Happy 18th birthday, Maggie. Thank you. And it's called An Apple for Dapple. 22:50 Yes.  So we had a pony. My folks purchased a pony for the ranch for the grandkids. And his name was Dapple, a little Dapple Grey pony. And when Maggie was a toddler,  before we moved home to the ranch, we were enjoying the fruits of our labors of my childhood with the planted apple orchard. And we pick apples. And then my mom said, you know, they say horses love apples. Do they really love apples? I never really fed my horses apples as a kid, but we 23:20 When we're done picking all the apples we wanted, my mom went and got Dapple and tied him to the apple trees. And that pony went to town eating the apples that fell. Oh, he'd eat them till they'd think he'd be sick.  But he was the best cleanup in the late fall when the apples fell. He'd just eat them like it was going out of style. And Maggie, as a toddler, would love, I mean, she'd just giggle. I wish I had recorded it on video. She would pick up the apples and feed them to him and he'd snatch them. 23:49 right out of her hands. So I had this idea that I wanted to write a book, a children's book, I still want to write,  and I came up with An Apple for Doppel.  And I wrote it. And when I wrote it, I wrote it as if Maggie was like Lucy's age, nine or 10.  And made the story work that way because I thought that the book would be for young readers  at school. I self-published it.  That was it. 24:17 a learning experience. had to find an illustrator because I can't draw  and launched it  with a goal of Ag advocacy, sharing my love of reading with children, educating them. I got to read at a ton of schools. I love that. Kids always wished I brought DAPL with me.  bet.  And ultimately, 24:42 Something that spoke to my heart at the time was the beginning of,  in our community,  a campaign called Little Feet Big Dreams, which was to start putting money away towards new school facilities  that were focused on the arts. And I believe writing is one of the arts. so I came up with this thought that if DAPL sold copies when I was able to cover my costs, that I could  use the proceeds. 25:08 of any books to buy more books for other children who don't have access to books or to donate to different causes.  I don't talk about it a lot because I'm  an anonymous giver uh most of the time. And  it's just something I feel strongly about because I  didn't  ever want the attention to be on me, um but just on trying to do little pockets of good where I could. 25:37 um So I just decided on a whim because I did the shirt campaign and we sent money to a bigger wildfire relief fund. But when I saw some of the first bills coming in the other night,  just in fuel costs alone for the trucks, I thought, you know, maybe we could  auction off a copy  and get enough interest I could write a check and pay for  some. 26:06 tanks of fuel and I was overwhelmed. The woman who won the her final bid was $222, which I thought, a random, funny, crazy, wild number. And I want to talk just for a second about Liz, Liz from Ohio. She's a retired teacher and her classroom number was 222. 26:36 So that was a number that was special to her.  And  she doesn't know me, and she doesn't know Nebraska. She loves red cattle. She raises a few Herefords now that she's retired. She lost her mother in December,  and she's just trying to put her own pockets of good out into the world.  it. So I was able to match her donation and take a nice check today, and it just,  well, was special because it's Maggie's birthday. Yeah, that too. 27:06 And I couldn't have done that without the overwhelming support of people buying copies of my book from me for the last,  gosh, it's been 14 years.  I'm able to save those funds and then do these pockets of  good throughout the year. it just makes my heart happy when I can help.  yet it felt like, it felt  hard because it took $500 in there with me today. And like, that's not even enough to fill a semi. 27:35 truck with one tank of  diesel. But I said, like the starfish story, it's money they didn't have before I came in here.  my mom says, every little bit helps.  So proud of you for doing that. Thank you.  You are a fabulous person. You know this, right?  I have  moments  of thinking, am I doing enough? 28:04 em using my voice  the way I should.  And  also emotional just because I hate that we have so much need right now. Like I said to the girls when I took the money in, like we just have a few normal days where there's no national crisis happening.  That would be a novel concept, wouldn't it?  Yeah. em 28:32 It would just be lovely because everyone's just so fatigued and stuff right now. So.  Yes, everyone, even our little people are tired because we're tired and it's rubbing off on them.  Can I just share another story from this week  to speak to someone that I just deeply admire and respect with my daughter's softball coach. He is such a humble man. He's fighting cancer, which is known by everyone, but he's managing it. He's persevering. 29:01 And he's pushing through his chemo to coach these little girls in softball and his own, like they had to evacuate too, right? To get out of the way, like  his wife and he kept telling their little girl at softball practice during the fire, here's the smoke billowing in the background. em It's not because our house is going to burn down, it's we're just out of the way. So the emergency workers don't need to worry about us. They can just focus on the fire and little girl. 29:27 struggling with the emotions and fear. And I mean, they're all just caught up looking at the smoke and stuff. And also like recognizing for our little people, they don't miss a thing, but also knew that keeping them busy and focused on playing softball was a really appropriate distraction from the scary stuff. So I'm just so grateful for him and his family and their home is okay. um For people to remember that. 29:54 are little people that are always watching and listening and they're not stupid. It's this fine balance of helping them be aware  enough that's age appropriate, but also protecting them in their innocence as much as possible.  Yes.  And  it's a fine line. Yeah, it is not easy at all. And mine had a 30:22 field trip today and they were going to the tree nursery and talk about Arbor Day and all of that. And I thought that was a great needed also busy distraction, something different to do, get them out of town for a little bit. Yeah, I was going to ask you, it's probably weird for what this podcast is, but I was going to ask anyway, how has Lucy been dealing with her sister doing all these 30:49 fabulous things and getting ready to go to college and stuff because that's got to be kind of weird for her. It is and she's at that tender  age where again her awareness is really  waking up  and  there have been plenty of tough moments of late and because I can see the wheels turning  and we have tried very hard in our home  to 31:19 say that no topic is off-limit. We don't dismiss or diminish someone's feelings. say feelings aren't facts. However, they are your feelings and you are entitled to them, even if they're not correct, and then we'll deal with it. Do  not get some idea that I get it right all the time because I don't. So I'm trying very hard to pay attention. Lucy is a feeler. She feels everything. I'm trying to pay attention,  and we did that, but we had a particularly hard moment  at Easter. 31:49 where the awake, and I was a first born, so I was the first one to leave. I never ever thought about how my little siblings were feeling about anything, where she had this conscientious. 32:05 She said out loud, oh oh, Maggie's going to college and holidays happen while she's at college.  Lucy's so big in family gatherings, like being together at the table and stuff. And she said,  does  that mean that Maggie gets to decide if she spends her holidays with us? Maggie wasn't present for this. um 32:33 And I was trying not to have an emotional response to that because I didn't want her to feel afraid that her sister wouldn't choose. And I had to be practical and say, yes, it's true, holidays happen while she's at college. And we have created a home that is always warm and welcoming so that Maggie, of course, would want to spend her holidays here because her mama makes the best whatever I said. 33:01 it will be her decision and we will always just be so happy when she can spend her holidays with us. it  was still, but like then it was, but what if she doesn't?  And I said, well, then we'll go to her and hunt her down.  But not- We'll make her do all the cooking. Yes. um So yes, this awareness of what kind of change is coming is there. And I do not want to diminish or dismiss it. 33:33 though I can't relate very well because I didn't go through it.  Mm-hmm.  No, I was just thinking about Lucy yesterday because I know  you and I talk a lot because we talk on the other podcast and you're my friend  and I've been listening to you talk about Maggie's things a lot  and  you're supposed to and that's totally fine but I was like I wonder how little sis is doing with all this. Yeah, little sis will have  so much fun this summer. We're gonna be able to focus on 34:03 her activities and big sister being present for them for some new things. She's trying like playing softball.  yet I know it's going to be rough  because there's such an age difference that Maggie is Lucy's second mother. I mean, she just is and yet they share everything. em And so, yes. 34:33 It's the whole thing. And my husband also is an oldest, so he doesn't really have experience. I was close in age with my younger siblings. I mean, they flew the coop not long after me. And I think the second big piece that's coming for me is finding my newer adjusted identity also after the roles. 35:00 I've played change again.  Yep. And I guess it isn't weird to ask about this because everybody has similarities and  anyone who's a mother is going to go through this.  know, being a mother is  something I always wanted to do. Yeah. And being an involved mom who had my kids 35:29 in service organizations and participate in lots of things  was important to me. I thought it was important to trying to be a well-rounded person. I am not a helicopter mom. I'm not their problem solver. I oh am an assistant when needed. um She's kept me very busy because she has been a very involved student by choice. And so yeah, there is going to be a period of adjustment where I 35:59 I  get to shift the time I gave to that thing  to something else. Yes, some of it will be because I'm going to do a lot of the same things with Lucy in her own unique flair, but some of it isn't, we're not there yet because Lucy's so much younger.  That it will be a period of adjustment for me in particular, not the husband quite so much though he'll have some. um 36:27 do know there are lot of women who have struggled in this season of life.  Why did it always hit two during like paramenopause or menopause, which probably compounds it,  but for every woman out there who has been a mom, there is a shift and change in your roles. And if you deny it or you don't  maybe get help through it, if you're not coping very well, I can see why marriages struggle, friendships struggle, work struggles, your health. 36:58 Um, it's a huge deal and we don't, I don't know that we talk enough about it and I have more compassion for my mother, the older I get about how her rules adjusted. Cause she was very much the same serving, giving, volunteering, helping, you know, going to the field trips and  making the cookies and different things. And that like, who am I if I'm not mom, who am I? Because. 37:28 when you're in the trenches of motherhood, it does feel like your identity and whether that's right or wrong we can debate, but a lot of moms found themselves in places where there wasn't much left over time for them.  And then suddenly they had this time and they're like, but I don't know who I am. I don't know what I even like to do. What do I like to do that's just for me? And is that selfish to take that time?  And that's why I have two podcasts, Leo. 37:57 You've channeled it for the good,  which is what I hope to do.  Yes.  And you dipped your feet in the public speaking world this year, so maybe you'll keep doing that too. Yeah. I hope so. And I hope and I believe my daughter knows that I'm always a phone caller text away and that I will be moming her in the appropriate sense from 38:26 250 miles away. I think she'll come home when she can because she loves her little sister and wants to watch her from the bleachers like her little sister has always done for her.  So I hope so. I'm very close to my nephews as well who are both flying the coop and so it'll be a big period of change for my sister as well. It'll be an empty nester. So I look forward to getting to 38:56 having some time, I've just 38:59 I've just been in this role for 18 years today.  Darling,  I know. 39:08 Believe me, I know.  And  I wasn't gonna cry either, but here we go. The thing is you  get adjusted to it. I'm not kidding. um Talked to my daughter the other day  and she just called because we hadn't talked in a week or two. And I thought that was really sweet. And then she sent me a tech, a instant message or whatever they're called on Facebook.  And she was like, I wrote this thing. I'm thinking about posting online. Can you? 39:37 read it and let me know what you think. And my heart just went, yes. Oh, she loves her mama. And then she deleted it because we decided she hated it because I didn't get the time. Oh, sweetheart. I was like, well, crap, I really would have liked to have seen what you wrote, but that's fine. Oh, she's decided she's going to do an art piece to represent what she wanted to say instead. 40:07 And the other thing is my mom is 79 years old and she still is moming me in the appropriate ways. So it never ends.  And it's just, I think it's the emotion today,  is it just went so fast.  Yep. It just went so fast.  The good news is it's not over. It's not.  It's just different.  It's just different. 40:37 And you  may be lucky enough to have grandbabies someday.  I'm not going to have biological grandbabies. My  kids do not want babies.  And I think it's because of their youngest brother. I think because they were all  old enough to remember the sleepless nights, they don't want to do it. 41:04 So,  gosh, that's  a whole thing thinking of that. My mother transitioned into being a fantastic grandma, it was easy, like she was made for that and she's such a fantastic grandma. And I'm  so grateful. um I know, like women just, it's just hard for us to get out of our own way sometimes and let things be. 41:34 knowing there's just, there is enough goodness to go around. There is enough need and want to go around and hobbies and interests and work, careers, whatever you want it to be. There is enough, you don't need to  worry about that, but you do need to be open, you have to open your heart and your mind, which is very hard to do when you're fragile, like I am today. Cause you can't imagine that change. 42:01 Yep, but you've got people rooting for you and I'm one of them.  Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. um So  we got a little bit off topic, but I feel like a lot of people, women especially, are going through this right now. So why not put it out there? Yes.  People can find you at Clear Creek Ranch Mom on Facebook and Clear Creek Ranch Mom on Instagram.  And they can find you and I at 42:29 Britain Grace and the Heartland Women in Agriculture podcast.  And people can find me at a Tiny Homestead podcast.  And that's all I got. Thank you for taking the time to visit with me. Yes, and keep up the good work. Amazing, important work.  And it has just been the joy of my year to join you in helping elevate these stories of amazing women from across  this great country. So many stories to be shared will never run out of stories to share. 42:58 I'm so grateful that you asked me.  I'm so grateful to have made a new friend in you.  Like this. And I hope you have a wonderful weekend and I hope Maggie's birthday party is amazing. Oh, we're having Shirley temples in Lasagna. You just can't beat that.  Oh,  man, if I could teleport, I'd be there. Anytime. There's always an extra  space for you. And it rained when we had her for three days. And so she even said, I'd be just fine with getting. 43:27 lots of rain,  if we could be blessed with some rain, that would be amazing. She'd love to have a campfire. Most of my girls love roasting marshmallows and I'm like, if we get three days of rain, we can.  I appreciate my kids are em able to show gratitude for like just the  the smallest trivial things. They're very sentimental like that. so yeah, our special memories are  a lot of times at the campfire. So we'd love some rain so we could have a campfire. 43:56 I'd love some rain for you for many, many reasons, the least of which is a campfire.  you. But anyway, please just soak it all up and enjoy it. And  don't cry in front of Maggie if you can help it. Cry with Matt. Yes. Thank you. Good advice. I appreciate that very much. Because otherwise she's going to think that you're miserable and you're not miserable. You are just stretching. I'm just stretching. Yes. And stretching is painful sometimes. 44:26 Damn right.  All right. Thank you so much for your time, Leah. I appreciate it. Thank you, Mary.