Influence: Psychological Approaches 4: Change the Tense

What this episode covers

this weeks episode is short but powerful. I have found that the ability to influence often involves the deft navigation of the edges of conflict. We need tools that allow us to continue the conversation. In addition to the concept of common ground, we need a tool that enables us to ask constructive questions to subtly change the focus of a conversation. This has the added benefit of allowing emotional activation to cool off and not escalate into conflict. Changing the tense of a conversation does exactly that. In this cast you will learn to pay attention to the verb tense in a conversation. Past tense is where we go when a problem has occurred and we want to find someone to blame. Past is also where a treasure trove of opportunity to reflect and learn resides. The present is where conflict occurs, where all interaction occurs. Managing the present is the true opportunity. The present is about relationship and commonality. The future is about direction, aspiration and decisions. When something goes wrong in one of these three we can move the conversation to one of the other two tenses. This technique will allow you to keep a conversation moving and constructive, While it isn't a closing strategy, it is a powerful connecting and aligning strategy.

Distinct summary based on available episode metadata or transcript content.