Inside the Tory Conference: A Wake, a Reset, or Just Really Bad Gossip?

With Andrew Percy, Holly Mumby-Croft & guest roving reporter Antony Higginbotham Joseph’s away, so the adults are off-duty — and the former MPs are in charge. In this special Tory Party Conference edition, Andrew and Holly are joined by their old colleague (and flatmate) Antony Higginbotham — back from the ground in Manchester with gossip, grit, and grim assessments of where the Conservative Party stands post-election. 🧭 What’s Inside: 🚪 Low turnout, low energy, lower expectations This year’s Tory conference felt like a wake: fewer lobbyists, fewer ministers, and… fewer rumours Some MPs showed up to mourn; others showed up to rebuild Shadow ministers name-dropped Kemi, but were they really rallying around her? “If the Tory Party has stopped producing good gossip… that may be the most dangerous sign yet.” 💥 Still relevant? Or a brand waiting to be rebought? Antony offers a brutal but honest diagnosis: The party may be down — but if the Woolworths model holds, it’s still salvageable. Eventually. “No one trusts the policies or the people—but the brand still has residual value.” 📉 A generational void and the candidate drought Too few safe seats to attract serious talent Too many 2024 losers who only want to return if they get a guarantee A pipeline problem for any future right-of-centre government “We’ll need to form a government with people who aren’t even MPs yet — and that’s a problem.” 💬 The reform shadow, Kemi’s moment, and leadership gossip May’s local elections could be the breaking point But scar tissue from years of churn might delay any internal revolt And reform continues to absorb “the laziest defectors” — in Anthony’s words — without a clear plan to use them