Instantaneous Relationships

The Integrated Mindful Relationship: After yesterday's class on the end of approval seeking, a friend of mine emailed me a brilliant question: "Im scared of the consequences of 'just listening' to someone, because it is not this 'seeking approval' that has allowed me to be well-liked and have a wide circle of friends? Isn't it my charm, humour, mannerisms, personality traits that have allowed me to nourish and create new relationships? I fear that if I follow your instructions to just listen, without interacting as I have in the past, it is a negation of me and could compromise relationships. Am I just interpreting the podcast too literally, and ideally one should try and seek approval less but at the same time, not give up one's personality traits? Im a medical student and have many interactions with patients. I wholeheartedly agree that adopting an approach to just listen and be with the patient, and opposed to trying to 'gain' from patient is worthwhile and will actually lead to greater compassion and patient care. But what about relationships with family, friends, girls etc?/ what are your thoughts? Is there an ideal balance?" Today, I would like to answer these questions.