Iran Trumps Its Enemies With Alien Jellyfish Intel

Rumble link Bitchute linkThe US-Israeli war on Iran is already pretty weird, even before we start factoring in Chinese-alien intel technologies, mind-waves controlling Trump, psychedelic “jellyfish” drone formations terrifying pilots and taking down F-15s, EMF weapons that cause droughts (and yield downpours when you blow them up), Uri Geller issuing red-alert Mullah-telepathy warnings as he attempts to eat kosher hummus with a flaccidly drooping spoon…do we even need such stuff to see this as the oddest war ever?It is deeply strange that a mid-level regional power like Iran can utterly defeat the world’s most powerful military. It’s bizarre that the supposed religious fanatics who rule Iran speak and act with tact, reason, consistency, and restraint, while the president of the United States blathers incoherently, alternating drooling obscenity-laced threats with equally incoherent outbursts radiating peace, love, and call-option-friendly investment optimism. And perhaps the most bizarre sight of all is the global economy drifting slowly and inexorably towards a cliff, like an unconscious canoeist drifting towards Niagra Falls, while gathered onlookers (the markets) seem oblivious to the catastrophe that is about to unfold.Already cursed to live in interesting times, we don’t need the curse to get worse (and presumably even more interesting). But Iran war fringe stuff is definitely a thing, and as far as I can tell nobody has tried to bring it all together. I asked Gemini:Has anyone written a comprehensive article about “fringe” phenomena from the Iran war?  I’m talking about reports like: *Uri Geller says Iran is using mind waves to control Trump. *F-15 pilots are terrified of Iranian drones flying in “alien jellyfish” formations. *Iran accuses the US of weather warfare and claims it ended its drought by blowing up US radars in the Gulf States. Gemini answered:“There is no single, all-encompassing article that covers all of these ‘fringe’ and unusual stories.”Until now.And I’m the man for the job. Before I learned Arabic and became an Iranian-TV Middle East expert, I moonlighted as Dr. Weirde, author of Dr. Weirde’s Weirde Tours: A Guide to Mysterious San Francisco. What’s more, my academic training included studying reports of fringe phenomena as background for a Ph.D. dissertation comparing miraculous and supernatural claims in medieval Moroccan saints’ legends to contemporary personal experience narratives. So the precise spot where Islamic-world-geopolitics meets high weirdness is my bailiwick. Where to begin? We might as well start with the jellyfish. Last Wednesday, Press TV’s headline announced: “Downed F-15 pilot’s account of ‘alien’ Iranian jellyfish formation shocks US intel.” According to the report:The US military and intelligence community were thrown into a state of profound shock and disbelief when an American F-15 pilot, shot down over Iran in April, reported witnessing a sight that defied conventional understanding of Iranian military capabilities.According to a report by CNN on Tuesday, which cited four sources familiar with the incident, the pilot described seeing multiple Iranian drones hovering in the air, moving in perfect unison, in a formation that eerily resembled a jellyfish.CNN quoted one of the pilots:“Multiple drones interconnected and moving as one with smaller drones below the bigger drones like legs,” one of the sources familiar with the pilot’s witness account told CNN. “Real alien sh*t.”But is it “alien sh*t” or Chinese sh*t? China is famous for its amazing sky displays featuring drones flying in incredibly dense and complex formations.While Iranian drone engineers may be cooperating with their Chinese counterparts, we shouldn’t imagine that Iran isn’t capable of breakthrough drone innovations without outside help. Iran is an engineering powerhouse, as the US military is learning the hard way. Google tells us:Iran produces roughly 230000 to 250000 engineering graduates annually. It routinely ranks in the top 3 to 5 countries globally for total engineering graduates outperforming major economies like Germany and Japan. A standout characteristic of Iran’s engineering landscape is that women comprise up to 70% of its STEM and engineering graduates one of the highest ratios in the world.Wait a minute…Isn’t Iran a medieval theocracy that keeps women barefoot and pregnant? That’s what Fox News and the Iranian royalists in Beverly Hills keep telling us. I guess those barefoot and pregnant Iranian housewives must be finding the spare time to sit around in their chadors earning online engineering degrees and building extraterrestrial-looking drone swarms that can take down F15s. Radical Islam at its absolute scariest!So there’s probably nothing extraterrestrial or supernatural about Iran’s “alien jellyfish drones.” As the Ukrainians found out the hard way, Iran has good drone engineers.And while we’re debunking dubious legends, let’s quickly disabuse ourselves of:*The Khordad “UFO” Sightings & Metallic Spheres: An AI hallucination…ask your favorite AI about this and it will spin a completely fictitious yarn, inventing a tale that will make the accounts of the craziest human UFO abductee seem relatively plausible. *The Persian Gulf “Cthulhu” / Caspian Sea Monster Reports: Another AI hallucination, in which Gemini takes a deep whiff of DMT and tells us:* The Claim: A fringe maritime rumor alleged that sonar technicians aboard coalition warships detected massive, unidentified biological anomalies in the Strait of Hormuz. The more extreme versions of the rumor claimed Iran had “weaponized deep-sea creatures” or unearthed an ancient anomaly to attack naval vessels blocking the strait.* The Reality: This rumor was a highly distorted game of telephone regarding Iran’s asymmetric naval tactics. To counter American naval primacy, Iran deployed hundreds of semi-submersible, low-profile speedboats and remote-controlled explosive aquatic drones to bottleneck the Strait of Hormuz. To sonar operators and radar systems, these small, erratic, wave-skimming signatures looked highly unusual, which internet forums quickly spun into “sea monster.”But there is no such rumor. Gemini hallucinated it by taking the insane American psy-op about Iran supposedly weaponizing kamikaze dolphins, adding a pinch of HP Lovecraft and a very real fleet of Iranian speedboats, and turning the mixture into a bad acid trip.*The ‘New Nostradamus” predicted the Iran war. It seems that on or around February 22, some British guy who calls himself “the new Nostradamus” predicted the US would go to war with Iran in March. But you didn’t have to be Nostradamus to notice the US had sent nearly all its available military assets to the region and would likely attack. What’s more, the self-styled soothsayer Craig Hamilton-Parker expected the war to end almost instantly, saying it would be: “a swift and limited operation: It will escalate quickly, then stop.” The tabloid Times of India tells us: “He also references symbolic imagery from earlier readings, ‘yellow and red flags’ and ‘a lion soaring above Iran.’” In other words, Hamilton-Parker expected the Iranian royalists, who are despised by nearly all of the Iranian people, to take over Iran in the wake of a swift US victory! Wow. Talk about a Nostra-dumb-ass!Real Paranormal RumorsSetting aside the ridiculous claims of hallucinating AIs and ill-informed fortunetellers, there actually are some interesting paranormal rumors about the US-Israeli war on Iran. Some can be sourced to the Iranian side. According to some Iranian sources, Iran has not only been waging war on the Epstein class, but also against the child-sacrificing worshippers of Baal. Iranian demonstrators, and pro-Iran demonstrators around the world, have repeatedly burned statues of Baal in “a symbolic protest linked to renewed online conspiracy theories surrounding the late financier Jeffrey Epstein and alleged child abuse by Western elites.”The Jerusalem Post tell us that these are just “antisemitic conspiracy theories.”The Post article begins:Iranian state-aligned media and senior regime figures have again invoked supernatural and conspiratorial language in describing the conflict with Israel, with recent and past material referring to a “war of occult sciences”, “Zionist sorcery,” jinn, and Jewish talismans. The theme has also surfaced in Iranian claims that Israel used “occult and supernatural spirits” during the 12-day war.So claims that beneath the surface of the Zionism-vs.-Iran war is “a war of occult sciences” are just antisemitic conspiracy theories…except that Israel is also offering its own version of the claim. Israeli media reported this week that “Uri Geller Claims Iran Used Mind Waves on Trump Over Iran Deal.” According to Grok, which does not appear to be hallucinating:In a Channel 14 interview on June 22, Geller said Iran deployed low-frequency waves—like telepathy but tech-based—to sway Trump into signing the June 17 Islamabad Memorandum, a 14-point pact extending a 60-day ceasefire, reopening the Strait of Hormuz toll-free, and offering Iran $300 billion in reconstruction aid tied to nuclear talks. The deal, inked at France's Palace of Versailles and in Tehran, drew fire from Israel's right-wing circles as too soft, with no new nuclear concessions from Iran. No evidence backs Geller's claims, which experts dismiss, while online mockery highlighted his past CIA psychic ties amid Israel's frustration over the U.S.-Iran thaw.Geller claims that he has done psychic work for intelligence agencies, beginning with the Mossad, for decades, and that this kind of activity is carried out by all governments. I emailed him, asking:Is this accurate? “Uri Geller Claims Iran Used Mind Waves on Trump Over Iran Deal” https://x.com/i/trending/2069127215397396752I mentioned that my go-to psi science source Dean Radin has spoken highly of his spoon-bending abilities, and invited the Israeli psychic and friend of Netanyahu on my podcast. Geller replied:Yes I believe they did and I have inside intel info. However I do not do podcasts. But watch these:https://www.reddit.com/r/remoteviewing/comments/l2dc2u/the_secret_life_of_uri_geller_psychic_spy_bbc/Call me crazy, but I believe Geller and the Iranian anti-Baal people. I think Geller is right that governments have weaponized psi. Jon Ronson’s The Men Who State at Goats was designed to obfuscate that reality by skunk-spraying it with humorous ridicule. The reason I have Geller’s email is that I hang around private online groups with people—many retired intel folks—who understand these things. So count “governments use psi” as one of those conspiracy theories that are very likely true. But the evidence isn’t very respectable, and much of it is circumstantial, so don’t hold your breath waiting for Ron Unz to write an American Pravda piece.Weather WarfareHere’s another weird conspiracy theory about the Iran war that is likely true: Iran’s reservoirs are suddenly brimming with water in the wake of rains that “coincidentally” started falling as soon as Iran blew up most of the US’s radar stations in the region. According to left-leaning Global Research, respectable voices in the region have long been accusing the US and Israel of stealing rainfall from targeted countries:Iraqi MP Al-Kaikhani in turn has claimed that Washington and Tel Aviv had been “stealing clouds”, causing droughts regionally.The right-wing French RIVAROL published a similar article, translated by the Occidental Observer. Excerpt:AN ABNORMAL DROUGHT THAT DRAGGED ONAbout fifteen years ago, the then-President of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, repeatedly claimed that Western powers (under American influence) were “stealing” rain from Persia and much of the Middle East (including Iraq). Naturally, at that time, almost everyone in the West considered the strongman of Tehran a crackpot, a conspiracy theorist who, moreover, had the misfortune, it was assumed, of being a notorious historical revisionist.Westerners continue to silence or deny what Mahmoud had calmly stated. In 2018, Iran officially accused the United Arab Emirates and Israel of stealing its rains, when the senior official of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps, Brigadier General Gholam Reza Jalali, declared: “Israel and another country are working together to prevent Iranian clouds from raining.”The New York Times reported that the country Jalali did not name was the United Arab Emirates, which has launched a cloud seeding program by injecting chemicals into clouds in an attempt to induce rain in its favor, but also to prevent rainfall in Iran.Today, however, many Middle Eastern elites are talking about the extreme drought and equally abnormal heat that have plagued the region for ages. We also recall that before the war against Iran, the country had suffered for years from a dramatic water shortage that directly endangered the people, especially the nation’s capital, whose inhabitants (and first and foremost the government) were ready to flee rather than become parched or dry out like old stones.THE RETURN OF THE RAINAnd then, suddenly, a miracle amidst the misfortunes! In Iran, the clouds finally wept, abundantly and regularly, and temperatures returned to normal (dropping by an average of five degrees Celsius). A few days after the first Iranian strikes against American bases located in the United Arab Emirates and elsewhere on the Arabian Peninsula, the regional climate changed completely.I don’t dismiss these claims. Around 2015, at the VIP building of Imam Khomeini International Airport, I met a man who said he was an engineer working on an Iranian program aimed at countering the US weather warfare program. He said the Americans were responsible for the draught in Iran, as well as the related one that had opened the door to regime change in Syria, and that the programs involved electromagnetic energy. He added that Iran was making great progress countering them, and expected to have the problem solved in the fairly near future. (Apparently he didn’t realize back then that the only solution was to blow up US radar stations!)Hyper-Precise Targeting IntelAnd finally, one more “true conspiracy theory”: Iran has hit US targets with shocking accuracy, sparking rumors about advanced or esoteric technologies. The Wall Street Journal just published another article featuring satellite photos showing just how accurate those Iranian missiles really are. But Iran is using engineers, not psychics. Gemini, its DMT apparently worn off, tells us: “Esoteric” Chinese Tech and Satellite TargetingThe Claim: Reports allege that Iranian missiles are striking Western and regional targets with a hyper-advanced, pinpoint precision that did not exist months ago, driven by clandestine or “esoteric” Chinese intelligence and technology transfers.The Reality: The tech isn’t magical or spiritual; it is a highly sophisticated digital architecture. Intelligence experts point to Iran utilizing China’s BeiDou satellite navigation network, alongside algorithmic AI targeting data, to bypass U.S. electronic jamming. Furthermore, leaks have exposed intricate corporate supply chains funneling massive amounts of Chinese sodium perchlorate (a critical solid ballistic missile fuel component) directly to the IRGC. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]So the bottom line is: It’s a weird war. Nobody in the chattering classes of the West expected Iran to be able to pull off a coup of this magnitude. And among those who didn’t realize who they were dealing with, and didn’t understand until too late that they were picking on the wrong country, were such self-styled Nostradamuses as Craig Hamilton-Parker, Benjamin Netanyahu, and Bibi’s credulous sycophant, Donald J. Trump. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kevinbarrett.substack.com