brought to you by the Every Dollar App. Start budgeting for free today. I've been dating a Polish girl for the past five months, and everything has been going well, except for a few small details that are mostly related to finances. Like, since 31, I've been paying for restaurants, like going out, like, activities, snacks, and everything.
And she didn't directly mention, do our recommendations that this is a part of our culture culture, even though she was born in Canada. And me and me and Rania, I was born in Iran, raised there, and I've been here like for a couple years. And I know how Western culture functions, and I would like to kind of make sense of it. I'm also too digital, sort of.
But at the same time, I don't see a point of man getting for everything, especially in this economy. And my question is, what is your suggestion? What's it like a big red flag, or is it just something that we can kind of figure it out together? That's an interesting question.
So the marriages that are unaware of that are high quality, and when we're dating, we're courting to use an old term, an old word, and we're thinking about that leading toward marriage. So that's why you ask if this is a red flag or not. Do I want to get involved with this person, right? And so the marriages that I know that are super, that I consider some of the best marriages on the planet that I've been personal witness to are where each of the people involved make the relationship about how much they can serve the other person.
How good can I be to you? So you, how good can I be to her? Her, how good can she be to you? And instead of what am I getting out of this?
In other words, I'm adding value to the relationship instead of taking value, if you're a taker rather than a giver, kind of a thing. And so I might look at this through that lens and say, yes, the cultural implication is very real. The economic in this economy, you're always gonna be able to say in this economy through the rest of your entire life. You're gonna be able to say that from now on.
There's always this economy. There's never gonna be one that there's just raining money on you and makes stupidity okay. There's no economy that does that. And so there's no this economy.
But you know, so how much do I love this person to the point that I want to serve them and give my life away for them would lead you to not ask this question even. Hey guys, George here with an important heads up. Mortgage interest rates just dropped. And that is great news.
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That's churchlmorgage.com slash Ramsey offer. This is a paid advertisement in MLS ID 151 in the Melissa and Sue rexis.org, equal housing lender. That makes sense. You're kind of worried about it.
You're kind of worried about it. If this is all, you feel like you're being taken advantage. If I'm getting my part of this, yeah. Are you sensing that from her that there's a lot of entitlement and expectation?
I wouldn't say it's a lot of expectations. She wouldn't necessarily let's go outside or let's just take a look. She's a money hungry gold digger. I would say the first one.
She's money hungry? Yeah. Let me put it in a cultural setting that I can understand and explain in this, see if it extrapolates to your situation. I grew up in the old South.
I'm an old Southern redneck. In our world, 100% the guy pays for everything. Period. Southern gentleman.
That's called chivalry in our world. Honor. OK? That is a cultural thing.
I'll admit that. OK? That's not necessarily true in every part around the world, from Iran to Poland to Canada, OK? And some mix of in between.
But that's the world I grew up in. Now, in my world, what I would be looked what I looked for is, I don't want to, because I'm willing to pay for everything, and that's an act of chivalry, the last thing I want is a high maintenance princess that's entitled. That's cray cray. And I'm going to avoid that woman like a plague.
So one guy said, if you marry a woman that likes spending money, you better enjoy working a lot. And so I'm not doing that. Just because I'm going to add an action out of my cultural upbringing, I'm going to pay for everything, doesn't mean I'm going to be taking advantage of. Is she ordering the fanciest wine on the menu on the first date?
Flaming on? No. That's not what's happening. But let's say in a couple of months, I was planning to go on to Twitter to Europe.
And I was just like, we're talking about everything with the destination like we see them blah, blah, blah. At the end, in the end, I was like, OK, so let's talk fine. I have to see who pays what. And she was like, OK, my coffee would be man paid to take it in the hotel.
And me, I can be taken care of food, which when I look at it, like they can't hotel. It's going to be like 95% to 90% of the whole expense. And I might go ahead and take this a step further than say, OK, what if we were married? How does this work?
I would love to pay for everything. No, I'm saying. I would ask her that. And if she still expects to be coddled, then you've got a princess on your hand, regardless of the cultural issue.
I mean, it's a princess. But that's not what it sounds like. It sounds like that you just got to decide how much of this you're going to pay for. And I don't know whether that's an old guy thing, a southern thing.
I don't know, George, you're a Boston guy. Yeah. Paying for it. Would you pay for all your dates?
I think it was a little different in the north. Did you pay for that? You split dates? You went Dutch?
You know, I didn't get a lot of dates back in my day, day. But when I did, I happily paid. I will say that. I'm just so happy to be here.
Exactly. Just so excited. I don't want to mess this up. But he's going on planning a trip to Europe.
Well, maybe let's not plan a trip to Europe if you're worried about the finances, and then bring it up like your idea. And then she's like, wow, he's taking me to Europe. And they're going, what's going to cost you $2,000? So I think let's set up the boundaries earlier on.
And go on less fancy dates and say, hey, you want to take a few more things, and so you're not aligned on that. And the fact that you're not aligned is the red flag. That's a big red flag. It just took me a minute to get there.
I'm trying to wander around in the cultural bullcraft and figure out what's going on here. It's beyond color or whether or not we got a princess on the line, but I don't know that. I don't hear that in his description of her. I don't hear that about her, but could be.
He might need to find out a penny pinching gal who loves going to the thrift store. That might be your type. How many hours a day they spend on Instagram. That would be an interesting study.
Spending habits versus screen time. Oh, we do know that. The number of hours on Instagram is directly attributed amount of spending. 100%.
If Rachel Cruz tell you that there's personal experience? There's no, there's data on that. That's actually real. But I'm just talking about if you're trying to find happiness in image and happiness in where we go, what we do, what we eat, then you're going to be hungry your whole life.
If you can't just be happy being at home and bored, then you've got a problem. It always has to include spending money. Exactly. But if you guys cannot work through this and you get comfortable and she gets comfortable, the fact that you're not aligned to Oscar is the red flag.
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