It's Not that You're Stuck. It's that You're Grieving Who You Used To Be. episode artwork

EPISODE · May 6, 2026 · 27 MIN

It's Not that You're Stuck. It's that You're Grieving Who You Used To Be.

from So Be It: BEYOND - Because You've Outgrown Who You Were

Send us Fan MailYou've been trying to move forward. Applying, planning, building, showing up. And still something feels like it's dragging. One foot in the new world, one foot in the old. Your mind wants to go, but your body won't follow.This episode names what that heaviness actually is. It is not stuckness. It is grief. For a version of yourself you invested everything into, a version the world never gave you permission to mourn.Dr. Amen Kaur explains why we carry unprocessed experiences like suitcases full of apples we never learned to eat, why the costume you put on as a child to earn love became so convincing that even you forgot it was a costume, and why your nervous system is still running an alarm that was installed when you were seven in a house you no longer live in.Drawing on William Worden's four tasks of mourning, Carl Rogers' theory of incongruence, Dr. Nadine Burke Harris's research on adverse childhood experiences and toxic stress, and Albert Bandura's self-efficacy research, this episode shows why grief and forward movement are not opposites, why judgment is the lock that closes the doors to your real self, and why love, compassion, and understanding are the key that opens them again.Includes a client story of a woman who stopped performing, reconnected to what she actually loved, and landed a six-figure role doing it.Free masterclass: amenkaur.com/masterclassIn this episode:Why moving forward feels so heavy when you haven't grieved the old identityThe apple metaphor: how unprocessed experiences become suitcases we carry for yearsWilliam Worden's four tasks of mourning and why grief is an active process, not a passive oneCarl Rogers and incongruence: the gap between who you truly are and who you learned to beDr. Nadine Burke Harris: how childhood stress physically changes the brain and nervous systemThe alarm system metaphor: why your body keeps reacting to a house you no longer live inWhy judgment closes doors and love opens themAlbert Bandura's self-efficacy research: why self-trust is trained, not innateDr. Amen Kaur's own story of grieving the pivot from her previous podcastA client story: from work she didn't love to a six-figure role in what she didOne practice for this week: when the heaviness arrives, ask what you need to grieveReferenced: William Worden, Carl Rogers, Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, Albert Bandura, Stephen Porges (Polyvagal Theory).Free masterclass: amenkaur.com/masterclassFree Masterclass: The Human Intelligence FrameworkA walkthrough of the five stage method Dr Amen Kaur uses with high achieving women who have lost themselves inside a career, role or identity that no longer fits.Watch it free at amenkaur.com/masterclassAbout Dr Amen KaurStarting Over, Being You with Dr. Amen Kaur is the podcast for high-achieving women who have been quietly losing themselves inside the life they built. Dr. Amen Kaur, PhD, is a former scientist and former Partner at a FTSE 250 company with 20+ years of corporate experience. She teaches the Human Intelligence Framework, the Five Intelligences that orbit Your Self, and how to bring the integrator back online when it has stepped away from the seat.Learn more at amenkaur.com/aboutStay CloseInstagram: @dramenkaurTikTok: @dramenkaurYouTube: @dramenkaurDisclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not medical, psychological, or financial advice. Please consult a qualified professional for guidance specific to your situation.

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It's Not that You're Stuck. It's that You're Grieving Who You Used To Be.

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This episode is 27 minutes long.

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This episode was published on May 6, 2026.

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Send us Fan MailYou've been trying to move forward. Applying, planning, building, showing up. And still something feels like it's dragging. One foot in the new world, one foot in the old. Your mind wants to go, but your body won't follow.This...

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