Hey guys, before today's episode of the podcast, I want you to text me, 212-931-5731. If you don't, you're missing out. I'm putting all my eggs in the text basket, 212-931-5731. This is the Gary Vee Audio Experience.
I'm scared that there's a lack of self-awareness and everybody does binary things like the same kids that blindly went to MBAs are now blindly doing startups. And let me just remind everybody, number 11 at Facebook made a lot more money than number one in 99% of companies. So when I go into a room like this, I'm less worried about marketing arbitrage of attention. I'm more worried about are you self-aware enough of what kind of founder or entrepreneur are you and do you know how to surround yourself with the things that you need to be successful instead of blindly thinking you can do everything.
And then are you doubling down or tripling down on your strengths? And are you putting that pieces together to be successful in what your ambition is? And are you aware of all the vulnerabilities of what you're doing and how are you combating those? And most of all, are you building a business based on the way the world is right now without anticipating what the world is going to look like in 36 months by the time you actually have something?
I felt super lost the first 18 years of my life because I wasn't a student. And in the 80s and 90s, there was no such thing as entrepreneurship in America. And the only way that you traded was based on how good of a student you were. And so for the first, you know, kind of from 10 to 18, I had a lot of pressure being thrown at me by teachers and parents of my friends that basically painted me as a loser because I was getting these and F's.
Even though I was making $3,000 a weekend selling baseball cards, I was losing, which you know, built up a good skin, made me very prepared for entrepreneurship. The only only time since I was 22 for the last 20 years that I've felt lost was when I knew that it was time for me to transition out of my family business and I was worried that it would hurt my dad's feelings, right? Luckily, what manifested in that two to three years where it was kind of like starting to build was my dad also was struggling because I was starting to be the real operator of his business and he was feeling less of a man and less of the man. So as that hit a crescendo point for both of us, it actually became easy to leave the business because we were both winning.
He got to be the boss again and I got to go on to do other things. So it would be the only, you know, I want to manifest a story. I've never felt lost in operating. This is what I was meant to do.
Probably no different than somebody who was meant to be a soccer player or meant to be a musician. Like, I'm pure bread, you know? I really am. I really, really am.
I never was capable of doing anything but selling and branding and marketing and business and business long before it was cool. So I got very lucky. It's why I really push people to do what they're passionate about because sometimes you get lucky and the world comes to you and that's absolutely what's happened to me. The thing that I always was has now become the thing and that's really worked out.
You've got to make choices. You've got two answers. You either work more so that you hunt from 7 p.m. to midnight or you deploy patience.
Cool. But don't underestimate patience. Patience is usually the reason people lose. It's hard.
You have something to prove. You want to get something with the money. You want to scratch the chip on your shoulder to prove everybody that you weren't a loser because you have Ds and Fs. You have to understand why patience is hard.
But it is absolutely the superpower of most successful businesses. And it is something that most young people never want to do. And then you have the subtleties of an Asian culture where there's a lot of conflict with parents if you're taking that risk. So the quicker you're successful, the quicker you can say see mom.
But a lot of times that becomes the flaw because you try to overextend and then you break the whole thing. So be thoughtful. You know, the eye told you so. Ironically, it's even more sweet if it takes longer because then people are building more cynicism because you didn't do it fast which makes it even more fun when you stick it to them.
There's nothing more fun than losing 30 to 10 going into the fourth quarter and then winning. Too many people want to win 30 to 10 in the first three quarters and then lose because it feels better up front. I care about the finish line, not the starting post. It's not fun to be disliked.
Like I don't like being disliked on first impression. I just know it's my responsibility because I have a gift of communication and now I feel almost a sense of responsibility. You know, I mean, the answer is self-awareness to all questions. If you have excitement or energy towards helping people, whether professionally or just kind of random, the answer is radical candor and suffocation, which is not a normal trait for a lot of people.
I hate being disliked, which is crazy because a lot of the way I roll publicly creates 25 to 40% dislike on initial contact. But I'm going to win in legacy because I get 100 emails a week, 100 emails a week that just start with I first started hating you. How many people here consume my content in any shape or form? Raise your hands.
Nobody see this for a pie. Pire. Don't be scared. Okay.
How many of you the first time you saw me thought I was a bird artist or didn't love it? Raise your hands. This is a very interesting insight. But you know what's cool about legacy?
It's truthful. And so I would tell you that if you're trading on legacy, like you will start gaining, just in a way that you realize it, me too, you'll start gaining sharper edges to get people there quicker because you could bounce around and pander with it or you could just get right to the punch line. And getting to the punch line is the beginning of the process of them winning. I think that's a sort of step further.
If I'm just cracking down a radical camera and people, what does that? 100% Is it one of those situations? That's why you've got to roll with honey and then vinegar, right? You've got to have, you know, it's like being a fighter.
It's like MMA, right? You've got to, you know this. Like I can even tell. You've got to throw different kind of angles.
The other question is, you know, my dad, I've worked on him more than any person on earth. He's not going to happen. So like some people prefer to live within their non-truth. Then you move on.
Then you move on. Now, there's different ways to move on. It's not like you cut them out of your life, but you have to be also self-aware and accept things as well. There's only so much one can do.
I think once you get into a place where your failures are just yours, they get a lot less scary. And you answered the right thing. Whether it's your parents or somebody else in your life, the biggest reason people don't take risks is they worry about other people's opinions. It is, I wish you guys could feel what I feel in my heart and in my soul.
I do not care about a single person's point of view about me. How equally caring about what you think about me. It's a very interesting contradiction. It's a subtlety.
But saying both your parents and yourself, it's, you know, when I hear I'm scared to fail, but I feel like I can do it, you're just worrying about outside forces. It's no different than the way you would. Like I love if my professors of 40, 50, 60, when I was 25 would have started on me because I was excited about sticking it to them later. And if I didn't, and here's a big one, and I don't talk about this as much, when I fail, I'm excited because it meant that I deserved to fail.
I love the game so much, even at my own expense. Like I can't be pumped about the fruits of victory without equally respecting the agony of the defeat. I'm excited when I fail. I'm like, okay, tough guy.
I'm a sneaker. This is interesting to me. Why did I do this deal? It was win-win.
If it works, I get to run around with the legacy of being the first entrepreneur with a signature sneaker and then, you know, it's kind of cool, right? Like 20 years entrepreneurs are just like athletes and musicians and have sneakers. I can sit here in 20 years and be like, you know, the way I thought about the first sneaker, you know, it's cool. It's a legacy play of being strategically right.
But if I fail, it's ammo for my friends to make fun of me. Like, remember when you thought you were so cool, tough guy? Like, it's funny. But I have to have that humility as much as I have that confidence to be able to do my thing.
You have to be okay with losing. I have a different question for you, which is if that's your aim, I agree with you that education has the chance to change the world because it's already happened. Education changed the world. My bigger question is I just want to make sure that you're not overly romantic of the format of the delivery of the education.
So I'm fascinated by everybody right now in our current state being in technology. Let me explain. So I think that we in society put a written hand written note on a pedestal as this is some great gesture versus when we text people. It's fascinating to me because we put the medium on a pedestal, not the action.
So you're telling me if I write an incredible six-sentence empathetic love letter to my mom of my admiration of her in text form that that for some reason is less powerful than a written hand written note for that same delivery just because we're anti technology because we fear change, I laugh at that. That's how I think about education. I do not believe in a lot of ways that education is being dispersed because it is in the selfish financial interest of the disperser. My escapism is the New York Jets.
For those three hours, 16 Sundays a year in the fall and winter, you could tell me that the world is ending and I won't care because that escapism is my pure quiet zone and nothing in business, technology, social unrest is in my mind. All I'm worried about is my guys scored more touchdowns than your guys, right? So that's my escapism and some people use film. I got to watch movies but I love movies because I know that does that for a lot of people.
You get wrapped up in that story. That's cool. Reading. I'm not sure that people are having their version of escapism because it's the healthiest thing.
I think it's got some nuances to meditation. So that's that. As it comes down to work like balance, there's a couple things that I think about. First of all, I would argue to everybody that the best way to become selfless is to start by being selfish.
If you don't know who you are and what you're about, you will lose. So the first thing is I do not crumble to current peer pressure of how I should live my work like balance. I think that modern parenting advice is quite flawed and has historically been flawed because it changes all the time because it's generational and it's macro political. And so number one, I don't care what other parents tell me if I work too much or don't work too much.
I care about what my wife thinks. I care about how my kids are reacting. And most of all, my friend, I don't over judge myself. I know what my intent is.
I want to be a great father. I want to be a great husband. Sometimes I'm over delivering. Sometimes I'm under delivering.
I'm always trying. This is also a specific chapter in my life. So because I squeezed it so hard in these four years, next year, I get to bring Misha and Xander to this trip to Singapore paid for by somebody who's going to pay me $200,000 to give a speech and fly my kids over. I'm going to take them to this trip.
Like, it's about giving take. There's no right or wrong. There's what's your thing? Are my six weeks of vacation, a deep downtime, higher quality time, then somebody who makes fun of me that comes home at six o'clock every night but doesn't really spend time with their family?
Like, I'm not pandering. I'm living in my reality. And my reality is four people. And I'm always putting a pulse on it while making sure I'm not fully and conveniently creating a narrative that works for me because of my passion, which I do just like anybody else.
And I just keep trying. And I just keep trying. And I find angles. Two years ago, I had two weeks vacation.
Now I'm at six and seven. That's a big shift for me. I just got hurt of. So I'm just adjusting.
I'm just adjusting, but never over judging myself because I don't think anybody's doing it better. I just think people are doing it differently.