I've Lost Myself. So Who Is in Charge Now? episode artwork

EPISODE · Apr 22, 2026 · 21 MIN

I've Lost Myself. So Who Is in Charge Now?

from So Be It: BEYOND - Because You've Outgrown Who You Were

Send us Fan Mail"I've lost myself." Maybe you've thought it in the supermarket, the car park, or your own kitchen. This episode is the question nobody has asked you."I've lost myself." Maybe you've thought it in your own kitchen at 9.47 on a Wednesday morning, holding a cup of tea you don't remember making. You walk upstairs to find something and forget what you came for. Something in you has been quietly slipping for a while.You're intelligent. You're capable. You've read the books. You've done the therapy. Maybe the coaching. Maybe the courses, the retreats, the breath work, the parts work. You know your patterns. And you still cannot make yourself move forward the way you used to.You're probably wondering what is wrong with you. But that's the wrong question.In this first episode of the show's new era, Dr. Amen Kaur introduces the question that actually matters. Not "what is wrong with me" but "who is in charge of my life right now?" Because the Self at the centre of your intelligence system has stepped back from the seat, and your thinking mind has stepped in to cover. It cannot. Not because you are not clever enough. Because thinking was never designed to run the whole system.Drawing on the work of Manos Tsakiris at Royal Holloway, Antonio Damasio's research on the Self as an integrator, Sarah Garfinkel and Hugo Critchley on interoception, Eckhart Tolle, and Bessel van der Kolk's neuroimaging findings on trauma and the brain, this episode names what has been happening under the surface and offers one small practice you can carry for the week.THIS EPISODE COVERS:Why the woman you used to be feels out of reach, and what is actually happening underneathThe Self as an integrator, not a place in the brain (Tsakiris, Damasio)The sun and the rays: a new way to understand your intelligence systemThe Einstein principle applied to your overthinkingThe part of you currently in charge is not your enemy. It is scared.One question to carry with you every day for the next seven daysThis is the first episode of the show's new era. If you have been listening for a while, welcome back. If you are new, welcome. What we do here is return, not reinvention.The full Human Intelligence Framework lives inside the free masterclass at amenkaur.com/masterclass. It is where starting over actually starts.New episodes every Wednesday.Free masterclass: amenkaur.com/masterclassFree Masterclass: The Human Intelligence FrameworkA walkthrough of the five stage method Dr Amen Kaur uses with high achieving women who have lost themselves inside a career, role or identity that no longer fits.Watch it free at amenkaur.com/masterclassAbout Dr Amen KaurStarting Over, Being You with Dr. Amen Kaur is the podcast for high-achieving women who have been quietly losing themselves inside the life they built. Dr. Amen Kaur, PhD, is a former scientist and former Partner at a FTSE 250 company with 20+ years of corporate experience. She teaches the Human Intelligence Framework, the Five Intelligences that orbit Your Self, and how to bring the integrator back online when it has stepped away from the seat.Learn more at amenkaur.com/aboutStay CloseInstagram: @dramenkaurTikTok: @dramenkaurYouTube: @dramenkaurDisclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not medical, psychological, or financial advice. Please consult a qualified professional for guidance specific to your situation.

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I've Lost Myself. So Who Is in Charge Now?

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This episode is 21 minutes long.

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This episode was published on April 22, 2026.

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Send us Fan Mail"I've lost myself." Maybe you've thought it in the supermarket, the car park, or your own kitchen. This episode is the question nobody has asked you."I've lost myself." Maybe you've thought it in your own kitchen at 9.47 on a...

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