Welcome to the Mariners Church Life Group leader podcast. This weekly conversation is designed to equip and resource youth to build a healthy life group community that studies God's word, practices spiritual rhythms, and changes the world together. All right. Welcome leaders.
We're excited to jump in with you for week five of our series looking at the book of James. And yeah, lots of things going on in our world. The person across from me right now is passive aggressively. She doesn't know it, but she showed up with a particular article of clothing, knowing that it was going to be a little bit of a trigger for me.
So yeah, just a little bit extra. I like your hat. Why don't you tell people what you're wearing? Before people think it's tied into the election, because it's the Wednesday off the election.
It's not that. It's not that. It's different. What do you wear?
Any of the things going on, I am wearing well, I'm Esther. And I'm wearing a LA daughter hat, because about a month ago, I became a fan. I heard this all three. I have a little suit.
I have a little suit. I have a little suit. But I own the fact that I'm a fan wagon. Yeah.
So for at least for this year, then after that, we'll see how it goes. Yes, I know. My change to your character. Well, then I don't feel as bad now.
So congratulations. But it doesn't matter. These things don't matter. I'm a lifelong lifelong Giants fan.
I know. When the Dodgers win, it's a bad day for Giants fans. I'm so sorry. So great.
I find it. Yeah. But yeah, this is a fun one. I'm glad to share this time with you.
And man, what an incredible season of life of our church. We've got our rooted celebrations happening across all of our congregations this weekend. Hundreds and hundreds of people going through really important and intentional environment for discipleship. Lots of groups that are going to be started out with that.
Lots of leaders, people serving the church in new and incredible ways. And I love the rooted celebration weekend. It feels like just a giant party. Yes, absolutely amazing.
Yeah, people are going from attending on the weekend to getting plugged into community and doing life with other leaders. We always call rooted as really the life groups where the bread and butter are walking in the community and walking in the life of the church. That's right. That's awesome.
That's great. And of course, this is, I believe, weekend as well. And so I want to encourage you with your, as you're listening to this, just even right now, even if it's after the fact, if it's after the fact, pray for the gospel, to hit good soil, and for people to take their next steps in following, if you're listening to this before the weekend, and pray for people to respond to the call on this week. But yeah, there's so many great things happening this weekend.
Shout out to the women's event. Yeah, tell us. That's right. That's great.
That's great. So I look again, and we are going to have, obviously, our women's leadership and teaching pastor are singing with us. And just hundreds of women joining us, and worshiping Jesus, and I believe that it's going to get us ready for 2025. And so come with your life groups, and join us.
And I believe that it's going to be so easy. Yeah, fantastic. We'll have at least two generations of Thomas's from my household that will be there. Maybe three if my mom shows up again.
Sometimes she does. That's awesome. Great. All right.
Why don't we jump in? So this week is that maybe a well-known passage about taming the tongue. And the scripture has a lot to say about that. Jesus has a lot to say about that himself, right?
Out of the abundance of the heart of man, a person's work person speaks. So James is connecting into that. And I think of all the passages too. There's a lot of parallelism between James and wisdom, literature, and some of the proverbs.
And this particular passage has some of that. I'm in there too. So I love that we're going to unpack this a little bit today. Before we jump in, why don't we start with Arlene in question?
And I have not read it yet. So this is going to hit me here. Let's see what it is, right? All right.
What examples of meaningful kind words? What are examples of meaningful kind words someone can say to you that would make your day if you heard them? And I don't mean the Debbie Downer. But sometimes I'll ask them both sides of the question.
What are some examples of words that maybe would not be kind of a building that might set you up for a rougher or rough day? Both sides of it. What do you guys want to do? What do you love to hear?
Oh man, I think just that I'm a supportive wife or a good mom and at the end of the day apart from work, ministry, anything that I accomplished, like who I am at home. It was the biggest thing. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's the same too.
I think for me too. What someone says, I love how you love your kids. I love how you love your wife. Yeah, that's just as you said, that's so much of what you're wanting in life.
Someone sees that and affirms that in you, even if you don't feel like it in that moment, if you feel like it's a struggle to have somebody encourage you in a place where there's a deep desire for that is really encouraging. It's really encouraging. But it's so true, right? How words like that, they don't take a whole lot to give, but they really can build somebody up in a substantial way.
I mean, likewise, like the negative side, you know, tired to. You know, things like that. Are you doing something different with your hair? Yeah.
Why are you wearing that blue hat? Have you ever heard you look healthy? You look healthy. Have somebody ever told me that before?
All the time. Sometimes in green culture, they'll say in green, like an older person will say in green, because you look healthy. Yeah. That means you're being weak.
Incredible. Don't say that. OK, great. But you look at that.
That's a problem. Anyway, I don't know. I don't think that's a risk, but that's good to know. All right.
Well, Esther, you look well rested and just crushing it in life. And you are a great father and a husband. And healthy. And healthy.
All right. Should we get into it? OK. So we are going to read the entire passage today.
This is James 3, 1, through 18. I'll take maybe up to first of all the national. We'll bring it home from 13 to 18. But before we read that, a few questions to help guide the discussion here.
And it's often saying it really is helpful to read the questions before you read the passage. Give people an idea of what to be looking for through the passage. A few things here. It says, briefly list all the ways that James describes our tongues in the passage.
What is he telling us here? Again, that's just going to you interact with the passage. So James is not only concerned with foul language, what other concerns does he clearly have in mind? And then it says the second half, verses 13 to 18, he really starts talking about the solution.
How do we make sure that we're having a healthy relationship with our words? And he says, how should wisdom, gentleness, and peace affect the way that we use our mouths? OK. All right.
Good questions there. Let's go through the passage. Starting out in verse 1, it says this. Not many should become teachers, my brothers, because you know that you will receive a stricter judgment.
For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is mature, able to control the whole body. Now, if we put bits into the mouth of a horse, a horse, so that they obey us, we direct their whole bodies. And consider ships, though very large and driven by fear-swins, they are guided by a very small rudder, wherever the wheel of the pilot directs.
So too, through the tongue is a small part of the body. It boasts great things. Consider how a small fire sets ablaze a large forest, and the tongue is a fire. The tongue, a world of unrighteousness, is placed among our members.
It stains the whole body, sets the course of life on fire, and itself is set on fire by hell. Every kind of animal, bird, reptile, and fish is tamed, and has been tamed by humankind. But no one can tame the tongue. It is restless, evil, full of deadly poison.
Tell us how you really feel, James, right? With the tongue, we bless our Lord Father, and with it, we curse people who are made in God's likeness. Blessing and cursing come out of the same mouth. My brothers and sisters, these things should not be this way.
Does a spring pour out sweet and bitter water from the same opening? Can a fig tree produce olives? My brothers and sisters? Or a grapevine produce figs?
Neither can a saltwater spring yield fresh water. You can get home for us yesterday. Who among you is wise in understanding? By his good conduct, he should show that his works are done in the gentleness that comes from wisdom.
But if you have better envy and selfish ambition in your heart, don't boast and deny the truth. Such wisdom does not come down from above, but it's earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For where there is envy and selfish ambition, there is disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peace loving, gentle, compliant, full of mercy, and good fruits, unwavering without pretense.
And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who cultivate peace. Thank you, Gal, the word of the Lord. Fantastic. All right.
First question here, briefly describes the way that the James describes is done. What word was it? What was it? What was it?
What was it? What was it? What was it? What was it?
What was it? What was it? What was it? What was it?
What was it? He describes the time. You can see those all predominantly in the first 12 verses, bits in the mouth of a horse, a small rudder that controls the whole ship, the tongue is a fire. What's the principle there?
Small things that have massive impact. Small things that have massive impact. That can direct things that are much larger than them. So the tongue is not insignificant.
It's not an afterthought. It is a very powerful instrument that God has given us. And we can control so many parts of not only our life, the worlds that we create around us. And Eric talks about this.
Like many times careers are made and lost on kind or unthoughtful words. Yes. Parenting. We're both parents.
The way that we parent our kids. It's massive. You have the ability to really shape your perception of a situation, but also the perception of other situations, the words that you use. Yeah.
So I think that's a connection there. A small thing that has a huge opportunity for influence. And then it says, he's not only concerned with our language, what other concerns does he clearly have in mind? What we want leaders to maybe see through that.
What's the connection there? Yeah. Eric talked about that truism is not simply learning what to say, but it's also learning how to say it and also having a wise heart. And that comes from, he mentions that it comes from the fear of the word.
And so, yeah, it's not just not saying bad things, but how can we carry wisdom in our hearts so that when we do speak, that there is weight in our words, that there is godliness in our words, scripture says in verse 15, like wisdom that is bitter, full, and be yourself. So, Vichy says it's earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. So he doesn't talk about bad words. But if there's anything, maybe the flattery can sound nice, and it can sound kind.
But if it comes from envy or wanting something in return, maybe it's not of the Lord. Right. And so, yeah, I think that James is encouraging us to be mindful of what we're seeing and that it's full of the Lord and that is wisdom. Of course, going off of the passage last week, which Christian Cain did a great job on a difficult passage, talking about the connection between faith and works.
I mean, really, what's the theme that's being driven home here is a life that is worship. And so, a life that every part is congruent, that matches, that there's a grace that you have received, that then outworks itself in good works. So good. It's a faith that you have received.
So that then, the words are an expression of that, that you're helping to display that, create that for others. So it's far less about like, and it's important how my words build up people up and totally, absolutely. But the deep thing is there is this congruent with the grace that you have received. This is a way that we show that, that we express that.
It's a holistic form of worship. I think Eric talks about that our words direct, and then our words reflect. Right. Our lives, that they will see us in our hearts.
And I think it was John Scott. I think Kenton might, he's the one who says it, but he says, let the man in the message be one. Yeah. Yeah.
And I think James is constantly emphasizing that, whether it's through your works, or whether it's through your words. Right. That's right. It first is one to 12 describe the problem.
13 to 18 could be called the solution. How should wisdom, gentleness, and peace affect the way that we use our mouths? I mean, my goodness. I mean, if I just think about the times, and there have been many times where you say something hastily that you wish that you couldn't have said, where you say something out of spite, or you say something that's just not thoughtful.
It's just, you know, a place of the statement, or you're trying to be sarcastic. That's the thing for me, right? And it's like, man, if I really went through that filter, is this a wise thing to say? Am I saying this that's going to be received and given in a gentle way?
Is this a peaceful thing? That's a great filter to think about before we just say things. Yeah. Wow.
Great. All right. So we move to look out. Yeah.
All right. Here we go. It says, it seems like negativity swirls in our culture today. What might be the root issues that make it so hard for people to build one another up with their words?
That's a big, big, big question. Anything come to mind for you? I mean, I think about social media, and how it's so easy to share your opinion, but also hide behind a username, or not experience accountability. Yeah.
But I think anybody who is walking in close enough to be with a life group or with close friends or with yourselves, you know that your words will have a return. Like whether it's received a particular way, or you're going to have to face the consequences of it coming back after. But I think hiding behind social media, yeah, there's a lack of accountability. And so, yeah, I remember somebody once said, like, when you want to say something, you have to ask yourself, do you want to say something because you want to share your opinion, or do you want to say something because it'll be a different, you know?
So maybe in your life group, you can even share with each other with one with a time, with your spouse, or with a friend, or with a boss, or a coworker. You said something, and yeah, like you shouldn't have said it, or you shouldn't have said it a particular way. I think that could be maybe some real life experience. Yeah.
I said it this way, and I shouldn't have. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's so many different ways you can go in that question. We talk about the root of why is it hard for people to build others up with the words.
So I think, you know, so often, even if you're not really thinking about building other people up, I mean, I think, you know, culture at large is, man, I'm not here to build people up. I'm here to build myself. I'm going to build my own brand. I'm here to build my own empire.
So why would I waste my words on building somebody else up? When that could just be a barrier for me building my own thing. So I'm going to use my words. I'm going to use my words to build myself up.
And so I'm going to make myself look better than I am. I'm going to feel competition. I'm going to speak disparagingly about someone. I think we see that all the time.
You see the backbiting. You see the political way in which we use our words to get ahead. I don't mean that like the political season that we write down. But how we were trying to maneuver ourselves, position ourselves, or trying to build ourselves up and not build others up.
And so if that's the way that we view the world, then encouraging them, that's a waste of time. Like, why would I do that? I may be able to do that to get ahead. So I think there's selfishness, pride, empire building, envy, for sure.
I got to tear somebody down. If they're getting ahead for me, I got to take credit. I got to do the thing. Yeah, the lie that building somebody else up means you're keeping yourself and being built up.
Totally. Yeah, what a lie. Totally. What an earthly, worldly thing.
A fleshly thing to think when scripture talks about edifying each other. Yeah. That's such a sad way to live. Yeah.
Yeah. If you're so insecure and you're worth an identity that you constantly need to hear those words from other people and you need to put other people in their place, then it's just not a firm foundation, not a way to live at all. And the funny thing is you can see that in other people. You can be intuitive enough to know when somebody's not using words sincerely or when there's an insecurity.
And you can tell that. We can run people. You can tell that. But we all do it.
And we can often see it in ourselves. And so part of building other people up too is not just, hey, you're awesome. Part of building somebody up is also with wisdom, gentleness, and peace calling out blind spots and using your words in that way to build people up too, which is all we think about building people up. We always think just about the incredible one.
I want to affirm you for all these things. But there's a side of like in love, wisdom, gentleness, and peace. I want to bring you into something. So yeah, so many different ways that you can go there.
Great. And then the look in a couple of questions to explore is do you find it difficult to say kind things to people and why? Who can you encourage with your words this week? And so yeah, I think generically it's like great.
Where have you seen this? Where is this difficult for you? Where do you find it easy to encourage others? Where do you find it challenging?
And then you could spend even time in your life group this week, honestly, like, hey, we're all going to encourage each other. So depending on how much time you have, and this is a part of what happens at week 10 of Rooted, which we just got on the end of, of you spend time affirming and praying and prayer and blessing over everyone, you could bring that experience back into Rooted and speak words of life over each other right now. But I'm not sure anyway that you'd interact with those questions. Yeah, I mean, for me, it's not hard to say a kind word.
I think just like I give them a version of it. So I think the last question, who can you encourage with your words this week? I think I need to get into practice of, who is my assignment this week? Who is my assignment today?
That you want to give me the words of wisdom to be able to encourage and build up today. So it's not necessarily me deciding who I want to encourage or build up but letting the Lord leave that. And sometimes it's natural and sometimes it's intentional. And so yeah, I think it's more than anything to that.
Yeah, I think for me too, like similarly, I generally enjoy encouraging other people. I know for me, some of the said I have the gift of wit and sarcasm. And that can go great and well. And it can also go sideways.
So I'll say unthoughtful things just because the first thing comes in mind, it sounds funny about that. And I actually, I think I've grown over the years with that, by God's grace I have. Yeah, like the discerning piece for me, that's the challenging part for me. Okay, this might be funny, but it's at the right.
Think about how it's got to be heard and received and what's the context of that. That's right. Totally. So that could be another good question of, hey, wisdom, gentleness, peace, when it comes to controlling the tongue, what are those things that you, what do you need?
And for me, that'd be the wisdom, the wisdom piece for sure. But yeah, definitely. And I think that's the direction of the heart of the abundance of the mouth of the mouth, the mouth speaks. So we don't always get it right.
We won't always get it right. But within joyful submission to the sanctifying presence of the Holy Spirit, we can get it more right than we get it wrong because we're not doing it by ourselves. So very good. All right, Esther.
Well, thanks for joining us. Thank you for having us. Yeah, appreciate you. We appreciate you.
We're great for you and we're great for you as you end the end 2024. Yeah. So finished strong and I hope you guys have a wonderful holidays. That's great guys.
We'll see you this weekend. We're in celebration. I believe it's going to be a beautiful time together and we can't wait to see you there.