Jan 1, 2 AM, 2026

photo is of first blossoms that I saw yesterday! That usually lifts my spirits Because I love spring. But it's the wee hours in the morning where pensive and melancholy seem to be emotions that I'm experiencing. So in this episode I've had to puzzle out why I am feeling this way. I think it's partly because all that's ahead of me right now is fighting without anything to look forward to Because I don't know how far the current GoFundMe money gets me into January. And it's unfortunate that that impeded my ability to enjoy my friends this evening. But hand to mouth like this tends to even blot out the good things sometimes. And that's frustrating and it seems to be amplifying my melancholy. often focusing on things like an upcoming MP constituency appointment can lift me with that purpose. But that's not working right now. ultimately I think I just feel alone even when with people because of what's happening to meI talk about the op-ed https://www.thecanary.co/opinion/2025/12/19/me-void/and Petition https://bit.ly/Marcia_petition