Jason & Tully Talk Life

Hey everybody, Jason Ellis here, originally from Australia. I moved here to be a professional skateboarder when I was 17, and now I'm going back to Australia to do comedy. Brisbane, or Brisbane if you're American, September 10th, 11th, September 11th, I'm going to be in Sydney, September 12th in Melbourne, if you're American, Melbourne. But if you're Australian, I'm Nate Melbourne.

And then on the 14th, personally, I met the guy that got eaten by 16th foot, great white there. Get your tickets out back in, that's not a word, Australians, thejason Ellis dot com. I'm coming home. I have the doner talk with my son, you know, he's had a little issue at school, and I'm like, you know, $100 parents went to the court room every single day.

That's what you said. For sure. Life's not your make of it, bro. You gotta make your own fun.

Such a harsh breakdown. You had your different doner, I think, I made people feel. His parents were in the court room every single day. Never gave up on him.

All this totally moving, new and improving. I can't wait to get back home. I've got the horn and desire. You're both around.

Are you ready to take up to the top? Welcome to the show. Did you know that your mom is on? What happened?

I think I just made my brain pop. I was ill-advised. What made your brain pop? The face I made in the beginning.

Why did you do that? You always do weird stuff. You know, it's, I got a much like my marital bed. I like to keep things fresh around here.

I didn't know man. I didn't know that before this show. Why just last night Jason? You've become me.

Remember the robot finger we were talking about? That would be. Yeah, that's for sure. You can give me a rectile exam.

I'll pass every time, baby. I love. Yeah. Look what death is great.

Real death, not so much. No. Well, we don't know for sure. Wouldn't it be.

What if it's awesome. What if it's kicking the pants? If you're like, this is the greatest thing that's ever happening. This is the greatest thing that's ever happening.

All of that time worrying about this, that, and the other thing. When all I needed to do was just die. Sweet, sweet. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Because everybody really comes back. That's a problem with that. Maybe you could, but nobody wants to.

That's a big tell. Right. The reason nobody, yeah, I am right now. The only person that really knew was Jesus.

And he seemed pretty pumped when he came back. Yeah. But he died right after he came back. He died right after he came back.

So he died. He resurrected. He resurrected. He was re-conrector eggs for it.

Right. That's right. Chocolate was cacao is really good for you. Do you know that?

Why are you making bird noises with me? Because the quick impression, cocoa bar. Cau is good for you. It's the sugar that I get.

Right. So if you eat a awful chocolate, it's really good for you. You can put that in your smoothie. And it increases your stem cells.

Something like that. Pep times. Euripides. BC 596, 672, 21 hike, which is what I call my new robot lover.

So. Sexy talk. So Jesus died rose from the dead. He did not actually die a second time.

He ascended into heaven. Whereas he is. How long would he be before he ascended? Because people started walking.

People saw him. But it was just like for an hour or so. There were all people who were in the bag for him, obviously. They had a vested interest in.

Oh, Jesus. He's back from the dead. You just missed him. That's actually a very, very good question.

I don't recall Zach. Zach, do you know how long he just came back. More than like an afternoon. It might have even been in the weeks.

It's not long. Like did he say, hey, man, I'm back. Or was it just like I saw him on the street? No, he, I think he.

I think he could be wrong. I think 40 days. Oh, 40 days is like total. Like so he was.

Did any haters see him? I don't. I mean, I mean, I'm going to work you. That's not good.

The Romans does not get wind of the fact that the guy they killed. You can't get a toss. What's that thing that's? You have to try.

Copy. Copy. Copy. You're the king of the Jews.

Let him go boys. Let him go. Yeah. I think the Romans were killing me.

They were pretty gay. How do you figure? They had gay sex with each other. And they were sandals.

And dresses. Sandals is gay. Dresses are gay. I don't say there's anything wrong with it.

I'm just saying, that's the label that, you know, it's the case that they gave me. Right. They were hippie gays. But they probably had lots of wild west of, well, wearing a flowing dress and sandals.

I mean, they grapple with each other naked to the death as gay. You had a huge wank. Why? What?

Did the Romans also, was that merely the Greeks that had sex with little boys? Did they? People still do that. Yeah, but they don't write philosophy about how cool it is.

Right, because some people, lip tarts, fret upon that. Yeah, exactly. Thanks, lip tarts. Yeah, good one, lip tarts.

Dude, people were doing twisted stuff because they still doing it openly until not that long ago. Casanova, the literal Casanova, the greatest, most legendary lover in the history of the European world, wrote his memoir. I don't remember why he was arrested. He was like all around Europe.

I think he was like, swindling people, but also having sex with everyone. And all of a sudden, had a girlfriend who's really young, right? Yeah, but Casanova wrote in his memoir that everybody should have sex with their own daughter at least once. And that was 1600s?

Like in the scheme of things, not that long ago. Do you think that people are like that because it's like, you know, how people say, like people, you know, like you're supposed to eat me because we're like cavemen, we're supposed to, you know, hunt or some other. Paleo, right? Yeah, that thing.

Right. Like, you think like some people are fighting not having sex with young people because it's in their bloodline? Yeah, I don't subscribe to the idea of bloodlines, but yeah. Like, what is another bloodline that you came from?

Genetics. Maybe, but that's not what I was looking for. Like, I think some people, because of the cycle of abuse could probably perpetuate that sort of thing. I think like, if you went around, if you could actually like, the like minority report, water babies could identify every single pedophile on Earth, and you're just like, no trial, no jury, we're just killing every single one of you.

Next generation, you'd have more pedophiles. I'm confident of that. Right. Yeah.

Because it's like in them. Yeah, exactly. Like, racist. Uh huh.

I think some people are like, they don't want to be racist because they know it's bad. But it feels natural to be racist. Oh, wow. They just, they can't help it.

Yeah. Like, give her, be cut off by somebody and you're like, like, do you think a racist though? Mm. You don't want to admit that?

Yeah. I mean, I was the angry, waving lady because I beep at her because she does stupid things. You beep at her in an aggressive way? It's the only way I know.

Yeah. You can do friendly babies. No, I still say, yeah, but I'm not really good at those. You really got a finesse.

Oh, if you do it now that it's really aggressive. Yeah. I've got to be lied. I've long said we really need three buttons, not just the one beep.

Yeah. That's how you do it. You need like a, oh, it's like beep, beep. It's like beep, beep.

It's like, beep, beep. It's like, beep, beep. It's like, beep, beep. That timing is everything when it comes to beeping at assholes.

And I'm like, beep, beep, and they go, fucking yeah, and I'm like, it was a beep , It wasn't a beep No, that was a friendly one. But now that you've gotten half me. Yeah. We can dance on them nowhere.

I was just going to your balls and that was swinging. Yeah, yeah, Yeah. I'm still a fight that is its in me, yeah? To punch people on the side of the road?

Yeah. I feel like, you know, really guys built me like this, so I'm like, are supposed to fight crime or teach you a lesson, you know? Yeah, like, what is it there? The people like, if a lady can't take a bag out of their airplane and I help if you can't open the jar, I help.

And if you're a douche, I punch you in the neck. Because then you next time douche goes to sprack off, you'll be like, remember that illustrated penis guy punched me in the neck and I couldn't breathe? Maybe I'll shut up this time. Yeah, it probably would.

Some people didn't need a. There's a little bit of fact to that. Yeah, I could use one when I was a kid. I should have been a neck.

I think of the time that I should have gotten one and didn't get one. And it would have been good for me. Yeah, I think a shit would have been as good for you. I would drive and pass to some guys, and they just take, they were like, playing basketball in the street, like late teens, and they just took a little too long to pass.

And so I gave them the finger, not knowing that my friend's house was like three doors away. Oh, I hate that. And the thing is, they came over. They came over.

I was quick enough on my feet. I made them laugh. And then they didn't want to be. So they're singing about golfs act.

And then they didn't want to beat me up anymore. And I was so fucking proud of myself. I'm like, god, that was fucking magic. That is smooth fucking talking.

What I just did right there. That was like some fucking Han Solo shit. A group of dudes were fucking goons, group mentality. We're going to beat me up.

And instead I made them laugh and now we're friends. Fuck, I'm good at this. That's a skill set. And I've had, that's the problem with drugs and alcohol.

I mean, if you lessons are there to be learned sometimes, I mean, a kick in the dick metaphorically speaking, you can learn from that. But if you're high, you might not catch it. Or if you do catch it, it might sort of seep out the sides of your highness and you won't learn from it. Because I feel like my most recent kick in the testicles was a sober one.

And it was the hardest one because one, I'm not high to numb it. But also because I couldn't numb it, it seared in my brain where there was true lessons learned. Yeah. I mean, so far so good.

I want to hear about this dick kicking, but I'll second that. Because I'm not sober, but I do, I find that I drink less and less. But as I've detailed many times here, like if I just have a drink out of the blue, I get a hangover. So if I'm going to drink, I'm going to drink for a couple days straight so that I can get up to it and be OK.

So I can have three or four drinks on the Saturday night or whatever. Well, I'm going to go into something. But what I do find is because I'll go so long sober, I'll actually get in a good rhythm and I'll get in a good head space. And I'm going to do this.

I'm going to do that. And then it's almost like a brain wipe. When I get to the other side, I go, OK, well, that was fun. The momentum is gone.

So I do think that I'm not down and whole. I'm just, I lost that thing that I had going for me. And for sure, all I'm like, oh, yeah, dude. I'm just fucking, you know, you start really making sense of things.

This stuff that made sense five days ago. I kind of have to start building that again. Yeah, I get that. Yeah, for sure.

So what was, how did you kick to the dick? Well, I did you kick to the dick? Well, the actual physical pain is never really. Yeah.

I never learned a damn thing from that. Yeah, I probably wouldn't have skated before I did this show. Right. Is that why your head looks like it got stapled?

Yeah. Yeah. I was kind of broken. And it was super hot today.

I was squeezing sweat out because I don't squeeze sweat out of my helmet. When I drop in, sweat comes out of the top of my helmet into my eyes as I'm doing a trick. That's not cool. That's not something.

It is very warm up here, but that's not something that happens to most skaters, is it? I'm sweating it in your average guy. Right. Yeah.

But it happens. Yeah. Especially it's, you know, we're in the valley and I was in a concrete pool out in the sun. Right.

It's like 80. Yeah. And if you're me, you could get it going pretty quick. When I left here yesterday, my app said it was anything.

OK. Then, yeah. It was hot. Then I was OK.

I was going to talk about the amount of sweat that I was. Yeah. I think you're shot. Yeah.

But yeah, I would say, you know, getting kicked in the dick metaphorically speaking, when you're already getting swift ones, it's not as shocking. But when you're living a lavish life of luxury and then you get a swift soccer kick into the testes, it's there's a real lesson there. And for me being a pro skateboarder and then being a radio host and being successful at talking on the radio, it's not a real job. You know, I mean, it's a real job, but it's not, you know, it's not construction.

Yeah. That's what I mean. Is it hard? Yeah.

Like, is there days where, like, does it take a lot of practice to get good at it so you can keep your job? Yeah. Yeah. There's a payoff.

You're sitting in a chair laughing with your friends most of the time. It's not that hard. So to me being a skateboarder, like, is it hard? Did I break stuff?

Yeah. Yeah. But I love it. Like, I would have done it if it wasn't paying me.

So it's not like, oh, man, you have no idea what it takes. I'm like, kind of, but also like my childhood, like getting hurt. It's not being a deal to me. But radio and getting paid a lot of money and then living this life where, you know, like, I buy, I would buy groceries, I would go to dinner, I would go to dinner.

I would even look at how much the food costs. I would just put the card on and walk off because I'm rich according to me, according to most of us, actually. And then losing that job, that was a shock to the system. Like, I remember the phone call when I was like, hard to breathe.

Like, what am I going to do? I am ruined. And then, you know, having people around, you're going to be okay. And I'm like, okay, I'll be okay.

And they were wrong. It wasn't their fault, but they, you know, it wasn't that okay. And it got worse. Not to interrupt you, but somebody who we know from our larger radio lives had been through something like that earlier in their career and said, we're going to talk against them day and you're going to tell me this was the best thing that ever happened to you.

Wow. And he meant it because that was the way that he felt. And honestly, that guy I don't even think is in radio anymore. Do I know him?

No, not a good friend. I can say, I love this guy's name is Mark Deimos. Remember he was a DJ on some of the rock station? He's a Cullen guy.

He's a Cullen guy. He's a New York guy. Awesome. Awesome guy.

And he meant it from the heart and I talked to him in years and he called me as soon as he heard. I have no animosity towards this guy, but I'm still waiting for it to be the best thing that ever happened to me. I agree with him. And financially, I mean, the same boat as you, Michael, where it has not turned around at all.

But is my life better? It is. But I think that has a lot to do with all the other things that I've done to make it better. But also I would not have done any of these things if it hadn't have got that bad in the first place.

So that falling apart and then, you know, podcasting, not doing that well, I was like, we're just getting podcasts. We'll be huge. Turns out now. And I was like, wait, what?

Oh, and then divorce was really, though, was 10 times harder again, where, and that was a delayed reaction. It's kind of one of those things where I was like, yeah, it's for the best. And then I don't know how many months later where I was like, I'm, this is the last mistake. I am ruined without her.

I don't really see any point in going on. Like, I really, I got so dark. It's like a good and a bad trait where I can just hyper focus on something. Sometimes you can hyper focus on succeeding.

Sometimes you can hyper focus on this mistake that you've made. Yeah. It's ruminating. It's a symptom of depression, anxiety, all sorts of things.

Remaining is obsessively. There was a feeling of depression where I felt like I might go insane. Like I was like, if I let this go any darker, I might just freak out and like, you know, hurt somebody, hurt myself. Do you ever feel like, you know, when you step on like very thin ice, maybe something that just throws the way that I very weak ice, do you ever feel like you could hear or feel like your brain?

So, wow. I remember the date. Yeah. I remember like, is this the the frayed ends of Santa Fe?

Yeah. I've been hearing about. Dude. Yeah.

Like I, I met a person that was kind of a witch lady and she was like, you write down the thing to sever your tires from it and then you burn it and you bury the remains. And I don't believe her. And I think she did something for me and it actually didn't work because I end up losing my job and my wife. But then I end up, I mean, it was a, I found her underwear.

So I wrote a note. This is so gay. And I burnt it and then I buried the remains in the dirt. And when I buried it, I was like, now let it go.

Like that's it. Yeah. And I knew that it didn't work. Like I was not letting it go.

Like I was like, it's buried. It's done. Yeah. And I felt like this weird feeling did where I really wanted her back.

But I wouldn't ask. One part was like, because you're not going to get her back. She's going to say no. She's already with somebody else.

And the other part was bring her back and do it again to her. You know, like I really didn't see any fault in her. I just saw my situation and how I caused this. Which made me hate myself.

Because this is like, this is all your fault. You know, like even the show. Like where did it go wrong? You know, like why did they let go of me?

Like I know I've had a bad attitude several times. Maybe if I had a better attitude, maybe if I didn't go down this road and talk the way I told I'd still have a huge fanbase. What is, you know, all these things that I've done to, for pleasure reasons, selfish reasons, and this is the price. We are now, you built an empire where it was like, I'd like to see somebody ruin it.

I don't think you can. It's so powerful. And yet it's gone. I have, I did it.

I did it. It's gone. Everything's gone. My friends are gone.

My wife's gone. My money's gone. My job's gone. My kids are gone.

You know, that was another one where they see me less and less. My, their mother hates me. You know, I don't, my step parent, my step mother and my half brother don't really like me. My mum is my mum.

So it's like, if I was a murderer, my mum probably still visit me in jail. You know, so it's like not real. I have to have the, I have to have the dollar to talk with my son. You know, he's had a little issue at school.

I'm like, you know, every dollar's parents went to the court room every single day. That's what you said. For sure. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's what you make of it, bro.

You gotta make your own fun. Such a harsh breakdown. You had your every dollar running out of that. I'm gonna play out.

His parents were the court room every single day. You never gave up on him. Your, my boy. Did you really say it?

No, I did not appreciate it. I don't think I did. I'll do it. Oh man, I hope you the smart kid gets that angle.

We'll find out. Oh shit. That's a good one. Yeah.

So yeah, you got your mom. Yeah. So that's it. And we don't really see it or why it's not her fault, but I have this a little bit of resentment.

I don't know what it is, but you know, having it hang that way for a long period of time, I'm just not, you know, I've been, I think it'd be better now, you know, because I've seen a frame of mind where I'm like, you know, if you're not gonna, if you're not gonna party, I can't stay in this room for very long. Like very spoiled. You know, like, who's rolling the joint? Who's, are we having sex?

Like, well, if we're not, like, I gotta go. Cause that's, that's what, that's what brings me happiness, which is a happiness that never fulfills anything. It just leaves you empty again and you need to keep reloading. Yeah, it's, it's a lot like cocaine is a metaphor for all, you know, pursuit of pleasure where somebody once described cocaine to me, it's like all night you feel like you're going somewhere and then eventually you just give up and you just go to bed and you never, you never get there in the beginning.

You're so excited about setting off on the journey and always feels like you're going to be like, wherever you are, it's not where you need to be. If we just, let's go over here. Let's talk to that person. Let's do this and you never get there.

But ultimately that's, that's all of the, that's empty sex. That's drinking. That's everything. Any, any form of escape is really.

You know, just internet addiction, literally. Which is such a, the invention of that is it like convenient to like, did you know this, like, you know, Jesus, do you have one that's the life for the internet, baby? Like we got the answer 40 days. You know, like if it was us that it wasn't the internet, none of it, like you got it.

Who you calling to get that information? I remember when I was a kid, when my parents would have like dinner, dinner with friends and we'd be around, that was half of what grownups did when I was a kid is remember that movie with the guy that, no, not that one. What was that guy's name? And they would just sit there and try to remember that.

That was, it might not have ever been. And sometimes people, they call each other the next, oh, I've tossed the guy at work. Remember that thing? Here's what it was.

In significant information. Yeah. Three days later. Right.

Right. Yeah. So anyway, all these things happening where, you know, rock bottom man, it's kind of a, you know, all these things that happened. I would not have made, I was like, okay, I was, I've talked about it before, but you know, I was, I was going to end it.

I was like, there's no point. Your kids don't need you know, because I'd convinced myself that I was useless to anybody. But the one thing that stopped me was if you do that, you're making it harder for your kids. That's a fact.

Maybe just, you know, dwell around by yourself if they need to see you sometimes be there for them, but you can't off yourself. That's just going to make it harder. And you've already made it harder for them. So you're being, I mean, the last, your last thought should be for them, not you.

Because this is a self, once again, it's a selfish thought. Like you can't take it no more. You're going to cut out what? Because you don't get your money and your pads on the back anymore.

Like it's weak. So I remember my option was get sober, work on yourself. The things that you don't like about yourself, the things that you've done to get you in these situations rectify them. And that's the one thing I did have.

I'm like, dude, you are, you're like, you're not an athlete and you were really athletic at one point from this passion and drive, put the passion in the drive into being a good man. Like I believed, I was like, if you really worked at it, like all the time, I'm never off the clock. Like you never don't do the things that you did when you feel like you're going to do those do the opposite. It's pretty easy.

You know, when you do enough what not to do when you've done it so many times, you're almost pretty well informed. You're pretty smart. If I can remember all the mistakes I've made in my life, if I just don't do all the mistakes that I've done in my life, I'm doing a really good job because holy shit have I done all the wrong things so many times. Not one either.

That's the other embarrassing thing that made it hard to forgive myself. It's not one time. There's hundreds of times, the hundreds of people. So it was so hard.

You know, that's the other thing from the sobriety. I'll never forget it where I was like, I can't talk. I mean, I'm like, this is my job. You know, and I'm doing a show.

I can't believe I have any listeners. Like I did shows where I was like, where? It was like, listen, two hours away crying the whole time. Like literally crying.

I get off the air crying. I cried all day, every day. Like, I'm like, and the only reason I'm still here is because I'm like, you can't make it worse for your kids. You already have.

So I'm stuck in this spot where I'm like, okay, so you're a drug addict. You can admit that. You know, you're always high. The only reason you don't drink is because the doctor said if you drink, you're going to have a heart attack.

But I never got proper help. You know, I just was like, I won't drink because if I drink, I'll have a heart attack. So I get, I asked Brianna, who is, you know, these are the hardest part for me to talk about because, you know, I'm not a religious person. There's religion in this world that like make rules for people that make it hard for people that I've met in my life.

And sometimes people talk in a way where I go, you know what, not only am I not on your team, I'm on whatever team is against you because you're a prick, you know, you can't do this or you can't do that. Like these people are bad because they're this way, you know, gaze of choice, you know, gay camp and all that stuff. And because I've done gay stuff, I've hung up with gay people. It made me extremely angry.

And then, you know, the things that happened to me as a child and a teenager where people took advantage of me sexually, you know, if there's a God and he did this because you look at, you know, because they talk about it in such a weird literal way. Like, it's a guy and a guy, you know, like he fixed you and he saved you and I'm like, what about the kid that got brain cancer? Like, what kind of a God would do that? You know, why would you let these people molest me?

What kind of a God would do that? I'm mad at you. And saying I don't believe in you and you don't exist is my way of insulting you, you know, which means in the back of my head, I do believe in you because otherwise you would just be like, well, I'm happy for everybody. Good for you.

But I would make it a, you know, a thing. I would say it where you go. You guys are full of shit. I would be in relationships with people that agree with me, you know, there's a person, I don't point at fingers, but you know, you sneeze, I know people that say this on tight because I don't want to say bless you because I don't want to be associated with it.

I know a lot of people like that because I end up being around people with a lot of tattoos, hairless cats, and, you know, and witchcraft. Like, it's just a thing that happens when you're damaged and you're bitter and you're angry and there's nothing wrong with it. Like, God's music cool. I'm glad you like it, you know, but it's such a little box that people put themselves in where it's like super easy to read, you know, like I know you.

I know, I know how you got here. I'm here, you know, like I've been in rooms with everyone's celebrity and rich and they're all cool and happy, maybe fake happy, but also like potentially actually happy. And I can't talk to anybody. I'm in the corner with the tattoo guy that's addicted to heroin because me and him connect because we hate ourselves and we're living in the dark and it's like I found somebody that gets it, you know, like you're a real dude.

It's like you're a real pain is what you are, you know, and I'm in real pain and like, you know, let's hold hands in the dark. It's so pathetic. But when I went through all this stuff and I started to get help and the God thing comes up because that's the thing when I talk to people about sobriety and they're like, yeah, man, it's not for me. Like the whole God thing.

I'm like, it's not God. Like the people, you know, I blame, there's no point blaming anybody. I just realized, but like, you know, when you're talking about how God's this and God's that, you know, you're shucking people, you're pushing people away, you know, like a higher power. This is a crazy conversation I have with somebody who recognized me who's from Australia originally, good friends with, I won't say, but somebody who I really respect, very intelligent person, probably the smartest person that I could call a friend and he's good friends with this guy and he is, he believes in God.

And we talked about it and I was like, yeah, man, because this was not that long ago. And I was like, yeah, I do too. And he was like, really? Because he knew me 35 years ago.

I was like, didn't think that you would ever say that. And he was even talking to my girlfriend about what Jason was like 35 years ago. I was like, hey, man, we've only been dating for a couple of months. Like, don't you mean like easy on the everything Jason was like 35 years ago.

Nobody needs to know. And he was like, you're scary, angry. You mean, like, definitely don't occur. You're just like, cool.

There's kind of compliments there. There's also a lot of back-handed ones. He didn't mean it. But he was like a very educated man that has a very serious job involving government, computer, like pretty heavy stuff, very smart man, obviously.

And he was like, you know, there's science behind it. And I was like, science. And he's like, I don't want to bother you with it. And I was like, please do, actually.

And he's like, yeah, I'm like, yes, please. And he's like, well, think about the universe and the Milky Way. And all these things, he realized there's planets everywhere, right? They're like the moon being a certain distance from this planet.

It's a little bit closer. This catastrophe happens a little bit further away. This catastrophe happens in the sun. All these things that are rotating around it.

It's just so happen to make this planet this thing that where we can survive. So the odds are these things happen in somewhere else. It's pretty slim. It's almost like it's by design.

And he's like, really, if you add it up, it really has to be. Because there's no other way that it works. And I'm like, you know, I've heard that's the best one I've heard. Because all the other ones where, you know, no one's got an arc.

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Yes. You've even made money while doing dookies. I mean, that is galaxy brain-picking right there. Right?

Like, what'd you do today? A dookie and made cash. And I got rich. What'd you do, you loser?

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And expire in 168 hours. See terms at casino.draftKings.com slash promos ends June 15, 2025 at 11.59 PM. Eastern time. With Adam and Eve just bummed me out.

Because I'm like, come on, man. Give me something I can chew on. You can't listen to a token snake. It's shit hilarious.

It's like a moment. Sorry. Moment's so happy for you guys. But it's just bullshit.

But if there's a high power, you know, Allah, Jesus, I don't care what you want to call them. That's the thing I feel like people if I pray to God, people are like, you pray to God? And I'm like, yeah. I'm like, well, I'm speaking English.

And that's like a term for a higher power. You know, if you want to call him Shirley, I don't care. Just it's what I pray to. And the more I believe in it, the more things unfold in a way where the most important part about it is if it goes wrong, I'm not hurt by it.

Well, I'm more of a what's the lesson here? Because getting back to that kick in the dick where I lost everything, man. And I really was at the end of my rope. And it made me get sober.

It made me be this person that I'm not a cheater. I won't cheat on you. I don't care who's offering it. I'm not doing it.

I don't do drugs. I don't do alcohol. I don't need them. I don't envy the man or the woman that has it.

I'm a better father. Like the only sad thing about it is they're older and they don't really need me. Like all the time. And there's this big window of, you know, when they were growing up, I wasn't all me.

And I can't get that back, you know? That one's always gonna burn, you know? But my son is young enough to, you know, he needs a father and he knows and he says it to me. He's like, you know, you're so much better now.

And part of me is super proud to hear that. And another part of me is cut up because that means I haven't been as good as I could have been for his childhood. And I can't take it back. And then their mother, we're friends.

We had a conversation on the phone the other day and went for over an hour. I haven't talked to that woman for over an hour in 20 years. I've been pretty punchy, but I believe that that is a factual statement. And every time she's ever spoken to me, it's like it's because she's got to, you know, like where's my money?

Are you gonna be there? You know, why are you so, you know, whatever word comes next and rightly so? You know, the people I choose to hang out with in front of my children. The things that I've talked about on the radio from my experiences, because I'm being funny and being honest where my kids know I've said that.

My kids mother knows I've said that. My kids grandparents know I've said that. You know, the things of my step-mom knows I've said. My mum knows I've said, you know, I've hurt.

So many people, the only people that really care for me, to be entertaining, to be shocking, I guess. I don't know. You know, they were talking to a guy that was like, I scared of snakes one time. Somebody brought a snake and scared the shit out of me.

And then I called him that night and was like, can you bring a big snake to bite me? I don't want to get bitten by a snake. But I was like, if a snake bites me, everyone's like, Jason's really scared of snakes. And a foot in the counter bites him.

We're not gonna change the channel. I was like, do that. And people will listen. Cause I really need people to listen.

And I can't think of an interesting anecdote. So I'm just gonna get an animal to attack me. Cause I'm so desperate for attention and love fake love. Cause that's what it is.

You don't know me. You don't really know me. They're not trying to be disrespectful to people that are famous. I'm just saying, if you don't really know me, I got love from people that know me real close.

And I love them. And that's like the most important that's the biggest gift you get in your life. To me, for the longest time, the biggest gift you can get is being famous, being cool. So even with a lot of people, getting a lot of money.

You know, I was positive of that. Cause I'm, guess I never really experienced it properly when I was a kid because my parents were high too. So that once again, I had resentment for them, but I do not resent them anymore. Cause I understand where they were coming from.

They were young and they were running. And that's how they were raised. So they were, I don't think they were raised either. You know, they grew up, my mom, my pregnant mother was 15.

She's adopted, she had it hard, man. And she did the best she could. And she's always told me she loved me. You know, that's the only person my whole childhood that said that to me.

So I had somebody that I knew. And that's something, but just knowing how all these things work in the situation I'm in now, where I really am like, I can still get really sad about stuff. Like it's hard for me to talk about my kids and my kids, mom, that's the one that hurts me the most. Cause I can't take that back.

I can't reverse what I did. And they're gonna carry it. But I'm still here and I can still come through now for as long as I can. And I wouldn't have come through.

And I wouldn't be the man I am. If I hadn't have had these atrocities happen. And I wouldn't have learned from them if I hadn't have got sober. You know, and all these things that were, you know, I pray this higher power, this thing where I'm like, God, I don't care.

Jesus Christ, sure. Maybe it is, I don't know. I'm not trying to get mad. Maybe it is, maybe it is him.

I just know that there is a higher power. I believe it and the more I believe it, the more pains of life don't hurt me. They're just lessons, you know? Like there's things that used to like shake me so hard.

Little things, because it's just touching, you know? Like I got a show tomorrow in Miami, got canceled. Nobody bought tickets, you know? I'm trying to be a successful comedian.

Nobody bought tickets to my show. I'd be like, you know what? Cause you know, funny, because you're a piece of shit. I'm like, that voice is gone.

That voice is the devil. And I know, you know, there's names. I'm like, I'm not super religious, calm down. To me, it's just the dark, the light, whichever voice.

Where I'm like, I know that voice. You know, this is the voice that I created when I'm a child. These are these things that I've used to be strong in life. Like when I'm scared and skateboarding and I don't want to get hurt, I use that voice to be like, don't be such a bitch.

You weak prick, commit to it. I mean, I hope I get hurt. I dare you to hurt me. You're fucking pussy.

And then I drop in and I make it. And then now I'm pro. And people are like, dang dude, Alice, you crazy. You know, and then I got success.