The West Coast Cowboy Tour. If you want to see where I'm going to be, go to vjsonales.com to see tour dates and where I'm going to be because I might be in your town. vjsonales.com, do it, go now. Uh...
He is now. He's 32 genders. That's too bad. Gay people are women now.
He was working those... Oh my God. Well that works on Hot Hills. I told you.
I was walking my dog and I ended up becoming buddy buddy with it. Wait! Yeah! You be friend of the gay guy at Hot Hills.
Well I was walking my dog. I love LA! You don't want that. What is on?
Hot Hills Mail wearing acquaintances for me. Welcome to the show. Wow, I wasn't expecting a visit from our producer this quickly. Camera angles.
It's like goddamn Peewee's Playhouse. You never know who's going to come through that front door but there is usually a fucking clown. What's the website for suppuzzy? SuppuzzyLossAngulus.com.
So you're telling me suppuzzy.com was taken? Yeah. Yeah, I didn't even think of that, right? And you still went forward with that brand name.
Does it mean something? I'm asking. Yeah sure, I'm shading it towards being an asshole. What?
What? What does it mean, Miles? It means... It's a pository, right?
So the thing you put in your butt. Right. Exactly. No, it came from...
I mean, ulcers on your anus, right? Only certain people know but it means... It's people with hemorrhoids. Say a prayer and send it.
An acronym but... It's an acronym? Yeah. So was the website...
What do you even know what an acronym is? I'm not going to lie. DIY, do it yourself. Right.
I certainly understand why you say acronym. An acronym is when it's saying it's shortened to just the first letter of all the words in it. YOLO. ASAP.
As soon as possible. Oh, yeah, yeah. Right. We can get an acronym.
That's an acronym. Son of a bitch. So is suppuzzy.com taken by Sia? Is it all an acronym?
It is? Level up. Level up. Level up.
I learned something today. What's it mean? You learned something. Your cat is suppuzzy.com taken by somebody else from the Action Sports Community or is it a suppository company or some doctor in Glendale?
I don't know what it is actually. It's been a while since I checked. We need to fight them. Absolutely.
That's why we should settle all URL disputes. That's what I think. Everybody should fight everybody. I finally cut bait on fucktully.com.
Oh, it's cut bait. Yeah. What does that mean? It means I had it.
I don't know a lot of things today. Sorry. Cut bait. If I understand the metaphor correctly is like when you got your...
You got your line in the water, so you're hoping to catch something, and you don't catch something and you just give up. Like maybe especially if your line gets caught in something or whatever, and you just cut bait and say I give up, I'm not going to catch anything with this bait. So I secured the rights. I paid GoDaddy for the privilege of having exclusive rights to fucktully.com for five or six years until I finally had to face the reality that I was never going to do anything with that website.
Even if I did, it would be insanely stupid. There's a reason why every URL with like fuck in it is available. Because not like a great business plan to have fucking... Right.
You know? I feel like it was. Has there ever been a website? I feel like it was a successful fuck company.
I don't even... I've never even been to a website. It was one called fucked like F-U-C-T. Right.
That was like a streetwear company. That is correct. That is probably it. Like I'm putting this way.
I'm not even familiar with the successful porn site with fucktully. That'd be a bad idea. All right. Like a fucktuba thing?
Let's see. Well, what a sim. Yeah, that computer's like hell yeah. Finally somebody's looking for the right thing.
I've been waiting my whole life. Oh, wait. Fuck tube. Wait, what is that?
It's a VR porn site. I feel like I've hooked up with two of those people. Let's see. I got the chicken the robin mask.
It's fair. I'm not chilling this by the way. Yeah, it's fair. It's good at stuff, Miles.
It appears that supazi.com is indeed available. Yeah, it is right now. Fucking strike, Miles. Yeah, Miles.
While the iron's hot. Like why am I more energized by that news than you are? Because like, supazi, most of the people get redirected from our Instagram and stuff anyway. Very few people are actually, yeah.
No one's like searching up URLs for the most part. I'm not gonna lie. Supazi Los Angeles. It's pretty cool.
Yeah. Because Los Angeles is cool. I mean, it's longer than time. You know what I'm like.
I mean, it was cool. I mean, you know what it was. It'd be cool if you weren't in America. Yes.
It's a positive Los Angeles. If you're from like Sweden, it's probably pretty cool. Yeah, the further you get away from it, the cooler it seems. Yeah, if he likes Los Angeles, you know what I mean?
Like, I got street by him from Los Angeles. And you can brag about it. Oh, yeah. Mads a posy.
What time I was there, Los Angeles is a posy. Oh, yeah, you know. Right there, I drive. You know, all of the things.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fright. I don't even say that. How you doing?
Way better Swedish person than I do. Thank you. I used to have a Swedish friend. And I would just call him German.
They love that. Yeah, he really hated it. Yeah. And I called him Hagen-Daz.
Fair. And he's like, probably also not. Hagen-Daz is German. It's not like it because you are.
You fucking crap. And he's like, I am Swedish. And I'm like, you're fucking German. You're fucking meat stick.
Yes. It's so satisfying when you insult somebody like that. I love insulting foreigners. They can't dig their way out of it.
Faronas. Yeah, I'm gonna miss them when they're gone. Yeah, that's a crazy thing, huh? I don't know.
Tell me what's going on. If everyone's getting deported tomorrow. Okay, are you two? I don't know.
That'd be. Is my wife going? Dude, do you want to hear something? Because I have a lot more room in bed.
Right. Well, now that I'm single, I've noticed that. Yeah. It really explored the space.
I've just started to move into the middle. Yeah. Because I was just used to being on one side. Dude, I'm such a like a broken man.
Even when I sleep in hotels, I'm on one side or the other. Yeah. It depends on the size. But I do like Jesus Christ, dude.
I love you too. But fucking hell get up room. pornographic in an illegal sort of way. Welcome to fucking.com everybody.
Yeah. So everybody's getting the boot. Yeah. The trans people are no, they're not real.
They're being deported? They're not real. Oh, they're saying about trans- Trans- It's two genders. Right.
Okay. Did see. So if you're a trans person, you're a guy. But what if you're a girl?
You're a girl. Well, then great. No. No.
If you're if you're born a woman and you're a man now, no, you're a girl. All right. And if you're born a guy and you're a girl now, I got some devastating news for you. Oh.
You're a dude. Wow. You're a dude with tits. Uh huh.
Which means you can call trans people dudes with tits now. It's not offensive. It's just a fact. Facts don't care about your problem.
Yeah. Facts don't care about your feelings. Sorry. That's what it was.
That's right. Snowflake. Yeah. Cool.
Yeah. All right. Yeah. And Adolf Hitler, I mean, sorry.
Elon Musk, he did it. He accidentally did this. He got excited and did a hand signal. He's very excitable.
Yeah. And he's got, uh, is it not Terets? He's alternative? What is he?
Is he autistic? Yeah. Is that confirmed or is he just claiming that for Riz? It's confirmed.
Okay. You're going up to autistic people asking if they're alternative? Yeah. Well, they are really.
You know, do you think about it? Uh huh. Yeah. Re-between Lance.
Rain Man was pretty indie. He was. Yeah. He was.
Miles, who's Rain Man? Rain Man is an alternative fellow. Wow. I love how you knew he didn't know.
Yeah. But no, he's in a movie. Oh, okay. Bounce back.
He was in a movie called. Rain Man. Oh, and he's smart. Okay.
Oh, how smart. Alternatively, smart. Wow. He's correct.
That is the correct answer to that. Played by legendary film, Thespian Jim Carrey. That was, yes. Yes, but pretty close.
What was the one airline that he would fly on? No, you've taken him into the deep water. Yeah. He doesn't even know two picks.
That's a B track right there. Quantas. Do you know why? Quantas?
Yeah. No. Do you know what Quantas has that no other airline has? What does it have?
No crashes. Nice. Didn't they crash now? Maybe.
It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been.
Can we go to fuck.com and see if it's crashed? It's been 40 years since Rain Man. All that can happen. I think they had a domestic spill.
Or have they still pulled off? Still never crash. How's that? Huh?
It's not a big deal. Has never had a fatal jet airliner accident. They're the best. Pretty good.
Drill Bill says Hagen Daz is American from the Bronx. I thought that was Fruci and Glaja. That's Fruci and Glaja. So Hagen Daz started getting some heat in the 80s.
Because until then, that was one of the parts of the Fancification of America. People didn't used to know wine grapes. Like you watch Cheers and the fancy person is like, I'll have a glass of white wine. Like nobody said I'll have Chardonnay or I'll have.
No, Google Hagen Daz is American or not. I thought Hagen Daz was legitimately foreign. It was Fruci and Glaja that was the knock off. Because Hagen Daz.
It's an American ice cream. Yeah, and the Bronx. All right. Nice.
1960. So everybody in America. 1960. What a weird name for 1960.
Yeah. They're trying to sound foreign and fancy. See, every time I case, Swedish people are stupid. Clearly.
Because he was like, it's German. He's such a maybe the name's German. Maybe. Hagen Daz.
It does sound like it. But yeah, because people used to get, Americans just have shitty like Breyers soft serve, you know, like shitty ice cream, you know, chocolate vanilla strawberry, and then all of a sudden the yuppies came and they demanded more from their frozen snacks. And so there was Hagen Daz that was there to charge them more money for ice cream. And then all of a sudden it was Fruci and Glaja, which was the knock off Hagen Daz, which was definitely America made.
Wolf knife member, a thick dick, Nick here. After mass science, Sig Hale yesterday, will tell he sell his Tesla. Tell you didn't even see it. Yeah.
And he didn't mean it. Yeah, come guys. Come on. He's stopping so triggered.
I said some shit on Twitter and people are attacking because they got nothing better to do with Twitter. What'd you say on Twitter? I just saw Elon post a bunch of other like, all the other liptad politicians doing a photo doing this. And I was like, dude, look, you know, I'm like, okay, that's a photo of somebody waving.
Yeah. I knew what you were going to say. You've show me the video of them in the screen cap doing that. Did the hand fly out like that?
Or was it because I know what it was, you know, like it was like, and you got him in a photo like that? Yeah, right. Just own it that you didn't like, I don't really think that Elon Musk was way too the Nazi see me. Like we were in charge and.
That was his wink, wink, no snatch to the SS. Right. Yeah, it was like, I tend to agree. Yeah, it was just a tad.
He's just a dude. He is, this is the other thing. Like, I get, they're so not cool. Right now.
And I, it's like, I remember at one point, because I've always been cool. And then it became cool. Like nerds were cool. Like chicks were like, I like nerds.
Too many people. Like you don't have to be in the sports or strong. It's more like, if you're a smart or you're an artist or whatever. And chicks were like, I like him because he's like creative and stuff.
And I was like, he's a fucking pussy. Right. You know, because I was like, chicks who got bonus for Jeff Goldblum. Yeah.
That was like a cool 80s cool was being tough, like Rambo. Right. Yeah, right. And then it got cool where it's like, you could be like an artist of sorts or, or you could be like a tech guy.
Right. The tech guys were attractive. Tech guys were attractive. You know, they're like Bitcoin.
You could get laid with a lot of Bitcoin. I'm like, what the fuck is the weird thing? The guy with the plastic bag blown around an American pie. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. We're just like an American media rather. Yeah.
Yeah. Doesn't matter. But yeah, it would just, it just seemed like, okay, so you don't have to be a jock. And if anything jocks were now uncool, it flipped.
Right. 21 Jump Street movie played with that a lot. Yeah. Right.
So it just seemed like now, you know, people wear t-shirts or like, I don't know, politics is like, these people are legends. They're really cool. They're really bad. And I'm like, well, they're not, whether they're good or bad.
They're not cool. Like they're fully uncool. Like Donald Trump loves YM's. Dude, it's crazy that he loves that song.
It really is. He gets, he had them perform. I know. And he was on stage doing this double dick jerk off thing that he does.
Right. Which is fucking, it's just, I think it's just, I'm not saying he's a bad guy or anything. I'm just saying, we're just talking cool. Any dude that goes, oh, YMCA and does that.
And he's not joking. Because if he's joking, he's pretty funny. That was pretty funny to do that. Yeah.
Because you're joking, Dick's off. He's not a joke kind of guy. No, he's seriously rocking right there. And if that's how you seriously rock, you're so not cool.
And then Elon came out and I, you know, I don't watch the whole, I'm not watching that shit. I can give a fuck. I've never watched the one before or after. I fucking 20 years ago.
I don't give a fuck. I don't care about fucking politics. I'm a fucking Neanderthal. I'm saying shit, show me the titties, son.
That's where I'm at. Fire titties and somebody needs to jump something ASAP, which is a acronym. I can't remember. But yeah, he comes out and he's doing this weird jumping thing where I'm like, God damn, you are really not cool.
You know, you're not a cool guy. And then it's like you see the photos before he had hair. And I'm like, he's a real nerdy guy. You know, like not cool.
He's a pretty classic guy who got really far being a nerd and now was going to spend the back nine of his life trying to get the cool shit that he did. Like that comedian that does the cartoon stuff. He's in movies as himself as well because he's kind of famous. But he's he was famous for being a voice of a cartoon that he wrote.
I mean, I'm thinking of how he made a deal, but that's not a Seth MacFarlane. Yeah. Seth MacFarlane. Yeah.
And we just started like, oh, for sure, because he's trying to get chicks. Well, of course you want to get chicks. You never got any chicks. Now you're rich and you're famous.
Yeah. If you get a good suit and a haircut, you're going to get some hot tang. Well, there's a lot of hot tang. And they were all jealous of like the cool guys when they were in high school.
And this is their chance. That's the way they have all the money and all the power. You know what else are the guys? Because they're getting hot tang.
Yeah, that's right. That's all we care about is hot tang. And Bezos is another example. Right.
For sure. Yeah, you're so not cool. Right. And now you're kind of cool.
I don't know which one's his wife's plastic surgery lady or whatever, but I'd fuck her. Bezos is. Yeah. Like I feel like is she this hottest chick in the world?
No. But is she fuckable? Fuck. Yeah.
Let's speak of you. Uh, thank you. Yeah. I'm just turning man like yourself.
Discerning. Yeah. What does that mean? It means you won't just fuck anybody.
You track record speaks for itself. That's fucked up, Michael. Joe, I won't just fuck anybody now. Right.
But you would fuck her. I'm saying now I would fuck her. Wow. Okay.
Yeah. If four years ago we say that I would fuck her. Not saying much. Not right.
Yeah. You might have considered Bezos. Yeah. Oh, no.
I've had somebody that looked just like him sucking me off. Really? Yeah. Several.
Have to think about that when you see him. I do not actually. I don't think about gay sex at all. You were just thinking about it.
No. I was not. I can think of a guy of a bunch of guys that blew me and I don't visualize them. As I say this right now, I don't see him slobbing my knob.
I just I just remember. Seeing gay dudes and they're like, Hey, I'm like, yeah, sure. The rest is like, dude, the rest of it is when I'm having sex with those people, I'm in just not in my own head. You know, like I'm not looking at them.
I'm not looking at anything. I'm like, I'm out. You know, it's like I'm high. I took a big rip and I'm high.
And that's all I'm thinking about. It's like, I'm not thinking about me. That's the whole point of it. Analyzing it is like, I mean, I have analyzed it.
And that's also like a bit about, Oh, man, I'm very confusing because I'm slightly grossed out, but I'm still in it because I don't get to come. And when I come, I'm not thinking about anything, if you will, but yeah, I don't want to. She's kind of hory looking. Yeah, for sure.
It's got a slut face. Well, I mean that in a nice way. I think she's got a kind of slutty vibe. Yeah.
Yeah. She either he communicated to her or she got the vibe that what he was looking for this time around was like, it's a little bit like how like little girls went, like my daughter who's six, like want to be fancy. They have a very like super duper over the top idea of what beautiful is, which is wearing way too much makeup and wearing all the jewelry and shit like that. It's like Bezos has like a 12 year old boy's idea of what sexy is and somewhere along the way she figured out, why don't she find like his stack of pornos or something?
And she's like, oh, what he actually wants is like, a high priced bimbo. And he's going to meet lots of chicks in this town, but not too many who are willing to wear long jure to an inauguration. I will be your bimbo. It's like people don't understand what's like.
Who is she looking at again? Remember there was the meme where it was like, she was like looking at some celebrity he was talking to? Like she was. She was like a famous person.
What's wrong with looking at a famous person? I just read every time I'm around them. Yeah, the famous person was high five in him and she was there. She was giving him the eye.
She was looking at me because he's famous. She we all still see ourselves as these people that we started as. And then you see, oh my god, that's Kanye. And you look at him like, I don't know if it was Kanye or not, but it was somebody that is famous and she was like, oh, wow.
And I think they were definitely reading into it a little too much. Yeah, I would come all over that face. That is a slut's head. She's had a slutty vibe.
And I like the black of it all. Whoa, man, go back to that one. Hell yeah, man. Like she is a ho.
I bet you before he got divorced, he used to jerk off to the Mexican news. Which is I don't blame for that. Mexican news is like, if I was going to jerk off to news, that's the news I'd jerk off to. Wow.
Yeah, she definitely has like a. Um, you can laugh that chick. You would bang her. If you were single, Michael, and she was into it, you would bang her.
Okay, her head is really big. No, I definitely. Like we're analyzing her. Like, if she was just a girl on the street, you'd be like, wow, that's pretty hot.
Yeah, for sure. But you're ranking her above lots of other public figures. I would not. No, I'm not.
Give me a public figure that you think is as hot as her. I think she's pretty hot. It's got a good body. Her head's big from the HGH, but it's still attractive.
Yeah, that's sexy. She's a little over the top for mine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right.
Okay. Well, there you go. Look there. She's not being like super hoary.
She's got like a normal head there. Oh, it is, though. Oh, look, man. Look at me.
You know, what am I saying? Oh my God, she's a bit doy. Look at my fucking chewed up head. You know, I look like a fucking tattoo piece of bubble gum mixed with a dick.
Look, it's not if you told me that's iced tea's new chick. I'd be like, yeah, that makes sense. It's a little surprising. What we think we know, which we don't know him.
What we think we know about Bezos, a little surprising that that's not just the rebound chick. That's like his next forever chick. Yeah, well, let's let's hope forever. Yeah.
Look, but I'm not, but a lot of us haven't had eight and I'm talking. Hard eight? Yeah. Have you ever seen a hard eight naked on top of you?
Because it's hard to, it's hard to understand. Wait, we should go on out with that other dickhead that I was talking about. Because there he is over there. Is that her?
Wait, he was with her too. Oh, she is eight. Oh, I don't know about that. Oh, you're, you're, you're, you're.
It's not her. Well, it's just because they were at a red carpet event. Doesn't mean that they were used to be a couple. That looks like a couple to me.
Well, look it up was, was, was, what is her name? Was Lauren Sanchez ever in a relationship with Seth McFarland? I don't think so. I thought that she was.
Okay. Yeah. It looks like she's slubbed he's not in that photo. They look like a couple.
Well, that said that it was actually a couple. That's a couple. Amazon prime event. Yeah.
Just stand by Michael. Which? Pretty sure he came on her. Can you Google have they dated?
Jesus Christ, Miles. We're doing a professional broadcast here. And I'm all Hagen Daz. We got the answer.
It makes sense that they would be at some sort of Amazon prime event. Her husband owns Amazon. That was a suspicious photo. They look like they have.
Oh, she just hoses out with everybody. On again off again with Tony. Oh, she was like an athlete. She liked athlete dick.
Yeah, but fair enough. Tony. Oh gosh, that guy. She's got a range.
When she was. So she is a television news person. I thought I remembered that. Right.
So she her first public figure was a little LA news game. Derek Fisher of the Lakers. Okay. So maybe not.
Michael's right. Wait, now you're you change your tune on her? Not at all. Just because of the Seth McFarland thing.
That you can from that she's not in a relationship with him. Yeah, that's good. Okay. Yeah.
But yeah, getting back to having naked eights all over you. Yeah. It's hard to it's kind of like, you know, people make fun of people for doing certain things or you're evil for like doing this thing and it's like, has anyone ever offered you a million dollars? You know, and it's like, I wouldn't do it for like, like sketches.
I don't want to be sponsored by sketches. You know, for a million dollars, I'd be like, pretty sure I'm wearing sketches. For sure. You know, there's a million dollars.
And it's like, I don't want to marry a man. A dumb slut. I was trying to figure out a PJ version, but. Fuck it.
I don't want to, but could an eight convince me to marry her and not sign a preener? I'm trying to be honest right now, Michael. Yes. Because I understand I've had it, especially now, because I'm not hot anymore.
Well, as I was super hot, let's face it. But I'm nowhere near as hard as I was in my prime, like when I had hair and shit. Yes. And then eight back then.
Yeah, it used to be very hot. Oh, thank you, Mike. I appreciate that. Like there was, I did a go.
I did a go. She's a pet and has pictures. Hot. Hard eight.
Hard eight. She was a hard nine. I would have married her. Now.
She's not an eight anymore. So I wouldn't. But if she was still an eight and she was like, oh, mate, let's get back together. I'd be in a conundrum.
Is that the right word? Yeah. I'd be in a serious conundrum. Is that still the right word?
It has the meaning of the word has not changed. It's making a shock. I guess. I'm just saying people don't know what it's like to have this kind of an offering.
Like you make fun of people for doing stupid things and it's like, have you had that offer? Okay. But what you're, I think what's what's baked into your hypothetical is if you're just a regular guy going about your regular life and you've never had anything like, yes, she could probably make most married men in America like she could approach them out of David Busters. Yeah.
And if they had a couple of. That's the worst place to get me. Get them to. That's all right.
David Busters. One second in the potato. Lipstick. No turning back.
Could she get a lot of guys who have only slept with like ordinary looking women to cheat on their wife pretty easily? Yeah. Yeah. But there is a reason why she's kind of an outlier among like trophy wives.
Yeah. Because guys like Bezos, I mean, there aren't many guys like Bezos. He's next level level wealthy had their pick of those. So it's one thing to say you wouldn't, you couldn't turn her down.
I don't have an army of her coming up to me before and after her. He chose her out of the army of, he could have had any fucking color of the. Well, she's probably an intellectual. I think she's probably right.
That's what I'm saying. But. So you're very intelligent. You think he couldn't find another smart hot chick?
Well, maybe they like to laugh about a certain thing. I think. She has a certain, I'll tell you a big one for me. Yeah.
Sense of humor. Sure. Like. I bet he could find a hot smart funny chick.
Here's one. I broke up with Katie once and then I went on a bit of a tear and I had two girls that I dated. One black chick. Four.
Sick hot. And then a blonde chick. Sick hot. Nice ladies.
Yeah. And hot. Uh huh. Didn't have the humor.
Yeah. Yes. No, it's nice to have all of these things in a partner. So she's probably a fun time.
I bet. I bet she's a super whole bag. Like I bet she says like, you know me, she's in my eye daddy and shit. I bet she does.
Yeah. And I bet she doesn't stop after like three months. Okay. Right.