Visit bet MDM casino and check out the newest exclusive the price is right fortune pick bet MDM and game sense reminds you to play responsibly 19 plus the wager Ontario only please play responsibly if you have questions are concerned about your gambling or someone close to you Please contact connects Ontario at 1 8 6 6 5 3 1 2 600 to speak to an advisor Free of charge that MDM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario I would do stuff where I wasn't the best guy there But people like man Tony was ripping but you see the straight and jump off the rabbit That was crazy and and then there was times where it got bigger and more dangerous And there were times where I was standing on things looking down and I was like You're gonna die dude like you're gonna this is way too far for you and then I remember thinking This is your chance. This is your shot. You're this is in a few years from now in many years from now You're gonna look back and go you should have gone for it You're because you did it and people are gonna remember you for it Show hopefully I feel good about it I gotta feel good about it because if you don't feel good about it You're gonna feel bad about it feel bad about it and then you get killed by a vending machine What was the point isn't it crazy that people die from vending machines? I don't know if it's still true But at one point more vending machine vending machines killed more people a year than sharks and when you see a vending machine You think to yourself look at tasty treats depending what country you're in or it could be used panties, but sharks They really tell you like you could be hmm.
I don't know sometimes babies like reach for stuff where you're like what are you an idiot? You know like like a Sorry to bring my daughter into this but which is little we went to like a reptile zoo thing And she just kept reaching into things where I was like what is wrong with you? Like you can't tell that that snake is probably not friendly But she probably maybe she knew more than me because no snake bit her and maybe she sensed that the snake was friendly because I've noticed from having snakes there was a time there where I was very scared of snakes But then I'd be friend of the snake and I hung out with the snake for a considerable amount of time And I said considerable really fast I could maybe be a sound clapper right now But I noticed when I got really close to it that its eyes Did start to show signs of friendly and I was like wait a minute I think this snake is my friend and then also this one time No lying one time. I was in DC like under DC, but in DC with sharks No not like real sharks I was with ladies and gentlemen and sharks came up to me and I was holding on to a rope And I was in Hawaii is this tourist you know It's like you don't go in the in the tank in a cage you go in the thing hold on to the rope And then the sharks come over and they swim near and these were not like great whites or tiger sharks or anything cool like that But still a shark even if it's just a shark.
I would say the only shot that sucks is a wobbly gump Which means it's a gummy shark, but they look cool still, but then great nurses are a little too fat I don't like their shape. It's not mean enough. It's kind of like a Volkswagen beetle, you know, I like cars But like you know like oh, it's a bad one cyber truck, you know cyber truck is it considered an automobile? Yeah, but is it a piece of shit?
Yeah, and if you like it, are you a douche? Yeah? Sketches of automobiles, so I feel like this shark Lee sharks might have been black tips I don't know what they were but they were shark shaped and they came up real close to me and they were like three Maybe four feet because I don't know how it works in DC is to see make it magnified or is it just normal size when you look through your goggles in DC There's a is a fish in DC the same size as and what it is or is it a little bit bigger? You know when you look at a mirror and it says this thing could be bigger than what it seems in the mirror or whatever So it's like that but when I got real close to me and I saw him look at me.
I was like, oh, yeah dogs eyes Like a dog and sure is there dogs that will rip your part? Yeah, but mainly most dogs of all the world are pretty friendly And they really just want to be your friend like I would say on a ratio, Michael What would you say dogs like people out of all dogs in the on the planet? Well, and you know, I'm not a huge dog person right all that having been said I'm you have a dog and you're in a living hell and have been ever Since I actually I love my dog. It's funny.
How they do that He got you any and I'm funny. He's an I like I feel like I'm a dog that I feel about my kids I don't think I like dogs or kids I like my dog and I like my kids Yeah, yeah, we are fully immersed in the dog community around me and I have not taken anything like a liking to anybody else's dog Like I'm not like Michael Jackson when you see God in children's eyes. No, I don't I sure I said don't not only would I say that most I said churms in children's eyes. Yeah, and other fingers and I'm smeared around their faces I would say most dogs love people and even the the small percentage that maybe do not it's not their fault like well There's one bad person.
Yeah, right. So we get a podcast the other day and it didn't work such a good show It was probably the best job of a dog for sure. Good damn shame You get to take a word for it where the greatest podcast is on the planet because you'll never see light it That one's never gonna see light a day straight fire. You say straight fire.
It was the only way I can describe it. Wow, that's really Well, that's what everybody would say that's what everybody says these days. So yeah, the two people that saw it were like this is Straight fires. Yeah, you can't play word for it.
No, it's okay. That's he doesn't talk like that Old school, but yeah, I was trying to talk about this thing that I've been talking about for a while now Where's the stupid song that I used to play on the Jason Els show and it doesn't really matter what the song is I thought and and also like playing it at the start I'm gonna play it on the podcast because YouTube is like writes or whatever You can't play it, but it's the ecstasy of gold and it doesn't really matter that it's that song because sometimes You know like I've listened to Metallica songs where they got me so fired up that you know like there was one time I listened to a Pantera song where it was like the determination song I have determination tattooed across my back And I knew I was gonna get that tattoo and I was in a gas station in Melbourne, Australia And I was listening to this song and like at the time the singer Phil and Selma was like pretty motivated Then he became like a drunk guy smoked too much weed then he got into heroin and now he's like kind of a fat racist But at the time I didn't know any of that you know He was in shape at that time and he was super motivated to like take over the world It was like you know there's lyrics in it where you know I vacuumed the wind from my sail and I was like ooh yeah Yeah, like you make your own momentum, you know I mean and it's and it got me motivated like there was a This particular day, you know and I've heard that some billions billions of times. Okay, I'm never gonna mess Maybe a million maybe a hundred thousand anyway a lot That particular time it got me in a way where I was like that's it I'm not gonna back down no matter what comes my way I am gonna keep going at skateboarding and I'm not gonna stop I'm gonna go back to America first I gotta save money first I gotta get a job that I don't want to do and then get that money and then go to America And then I somebody cannot stay on their couch because they're never any real money And then I'm gonna go to the ramp every day all day and get better and then I got better and then when I got better You know I went out and I party because I'm from Australia and I was raised to party if you do good than your party And then when you party then you get a girlfriend Well first you sleep with a bunch of people then you get a girlfriend And then you sleep with more people than she breaks up with you and then you break your heart and then you drink more and then you All of a sudden you forgot what you were doing I should probably put that on vibrate Sorry I've got a door thing now where I see people coming into my house and coming out of my house and it's like No, it's kind of cool. I mean really it's not that cool, but it's cool for like I think I just saw Miles so that's exciting Wow one of the greatest executive producers of our time Some lady delivered a baby on a nest camera Like one of those She was at the door?
She was I think on her way out and she's like Nope you're having this baby right now and the whole She pooped it out She delivered her own That's the best if I was gonna have a baby and I had a vagina My favorite way to have a baby would be oh did I pooped it out? I don't think you get that the first time you got I think you got to put your time in the Right you and I have been witness to children flying out of a giant which is probably almost the same thing as having one yourself Yeah, I mean I don't know I was not being sarcastic I think it's inches away from it I think pretty much know what it's like yeah like I like if you need the I would do it the natural yeah you ever seen anybody on TV hit a three-pointer. It's pretty much like that You go like that like bird Ellis same deal. Okay, maybe not exactly the same And it's like and it's like oh it hurts and I'm like look I'm sure it does a little bit Like I mean I've fallen on the ground and go to boo boo sure, you know boo boo baby coming out my box same deal Yeah, not a big deal to me.
It's a shame nature handed the baby making to the weaker sex right well said Michael We all can agree on that and the less intelligent obviously to and don't get me to it Don't get me like wound up about if one of them becomes president oh my goodness and they're on their period off They're gonna press the button oh my goodness, you know make a say like my vagina happens when Putin insults her hair It's over again If anybody believes what we just said for the last 15 seconds you already do But seriously have you thought about people on their period the way they react I think I might have a pantsuit fetish No, I'm listening. I agree you and I like very different people, but we all we have this Remember we always thought about the the Secretary vibe like we've always been like the glasses. I'm so predictable with that yeah nurses secretaries a female army recruiter Is there any dudes out there that don't want to bang a secretary or even better the secretary of defense? Oh my goodness, just as long as she's not in a period Right Blow up the whole freaking world anything that leaves for four days and doesn't that that's a big right?
People say that yeah How come animals are way they do what I was gonna say how come animals don't have periods, but do all animals have periods right good question Thank you cuz that's dogs dogs dogs. I remember one time my dog didn't get her You're directing her veg cut out right like scientifically speaking and she bled on the couch and I was like oh and obviously She was looking for the nooks The whole time if that dog had something we wouldn't be here because she was screaming the whole time I'm gonna kill them, you know, she said racist what I want to say. Yeah, right sure. I am not aware of other Cat can cats been straight.
Yeah, yeah, yeah like to squirrels are squirrels out there having periods. That's what those little marks are on trees Oh my god really bad blood here unless they get a subler witch You know what yeah tree raisins, right? Oh my goodness. Yeah, it's squirrel blood Wow it squirrel vaginal on your pancakes Yeah, so we're getting back to babies coming out so that big of a deal so that hard calm down But if I was gonna have one you know how those ones like they they go oops in a felony toilet.
Yeah, that's how I want to have a baby Yeah, right cuz the whole like tough Cuz like look look how about had a baby? No has have telly and I had a baby No, but have we had like some mean turds. Yeah, and that's pretty much like I feel like having a baby for like an epidural and all that It's like when you have a poopy that has a peanut in it because you don't want to push it out You're like oh and you're like oh, I'm not sure But then like just like some of these women most women out there you dig deep and we we get the turd out You know and then and then we move on with their lives We don't have to like eat a bunch of food for like the next seven years and like become a different person have like a bad attitude Towards stuff everybody Jason Els here father grind. It's my skateboard company I teach people how to skateboard in a safe way if you're a little bit older you want to skate you want to get healthy You want to skate with your friends, but you want to skate with your kids?
Do you want to do it and not go to hospital? I am the number one greatest skateboard teacher in the world Yeah, if you guys want to check out the tutorial on how to skateboard I teach the very funny in finance even Kim Kondin I teach her how to skate father grind I have skateboards I got you get set up to get pad you get everything you need to shred the Jason Els father grind skateboard made by Paul Schmidt Tim Baron did the graphics These are the top of the line in the skateboard game. This is a top of the line skateboard You want to be cool get one of these so go to father grind calm check it out take my advice I've got a video on how to skate safely so you can have fun and not go to hospital go to father grind calm They say the eyes are the window to the soul and I see God in the chucks It's it's nonsense to me because the eyes don't change. They don't move.
They don't express anything It's all about you raise your eyebrows or you you scrunchress I think so here's here's the question that I'll ask you to make my point how expressive is a man with no skin on his face Right, that's why I'm trying to say I don't read the face. I read the odds. Yeah, well Powerball Look like Frankie Valley. Yeah, Frankie Valley Would look better if you had no skin because that is I mean he is basically the drummer of Chuck E Cheese That's pretty much what's happening over there.
He's animatronic. Yeah, but You know I did and then I saw another shark like I think it was like almost the same I think it was the same day dude, okay, we leave the shark Hey, pay money your a coog tourist check to see the sharks Then we leave and we go to like this main beach or whatever and there's like a I don't know a cove Like there's a section where it's got a lot of wall and the water goes over and fills the wall But then when the water goes back out that just stays like a swimming pool of sorts or like a blocked off area Like you know when sometimes fish go and then there's a puddle and officials too dumb to go back over into the real ocean and now he's stuck in the Puddle yeah, that happened with a shark. Okay. I go to the surf shop to get like a towel or something I can't remember what I was getting maybe some blocks some coog thing and a guy in there goes dude There's a white tip stuck in the cove and I'm like really and he goes yeah, and I go where he goes over there And I'm like hell yeah, so I go in there how big this code three quarters of a football field, okay?
All right with like Looks and cray Contour's not a football field. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so I go in there and there's one other dude It's me and my chick my chickens like I'm not saying it in a mean way.
We're both dumb because we're like hell Yeah, there's a shark in this water period obviously obviously cuz she would have already hit the nooks before we even got in the pond She wasn't looking to terrorize the world. She was looking to see a shark and so we go in there and I Don't remember how it went but I think I saw it You know I got goggles on I got a GoPro and I go underwater and it came past and I was like It is a shark and this dude was like I'm out of here It makes me like whoa and I was like oh good because he was blocking my view of it And I followed it and then my chick followed me and we're following it over to one in one area and the more I follow it The close the the more relaxed I feel Just which is dumb, you know, but I'm like I'm getting closer I'm getting closer and then it would kind of turn back a little bit I'll be like whoa, but not fully back I kept going that way and I was like getting closer and getting closer And then I was like, you know what? I'm coming in you know like I'm gonna come in it seems pretty cool And then he goes to like and I it's funny all dudes say dogs and cats are he's an all girls say their she's So I don't know if it was a she or he they didn't see the badge area And you know like I'm a bit of a shark scientist their vag and dicks are in a pocket right? So I'm hanging out you don't know anyway.
Yeah, there's a reason you never see you can tell by the dorsal fit No, you can't that's a lie even chief road He didn't know that so it goes down the corner I'm going in behind it and quickly turned around and it was like this is no longer like a to look at me He's coming back the other way and for one second. I was like fuck, you know, like I know I kind of regret it And I thought maybe he is gonna bite me, but I also thought This is stupid dude, but I thought like you can tell me I think of a people attacks me I'll win and I think of a if a shark attacks me. I'll win if it's a great way if it's big as big as me I don't think I'll win right I was like okay if it bites me I'll put our arm out and I'll like take a hit and have crazy stitches, you know me like shredded But I'll you mean like I'll poke it up poking police these gills in let go I don't know what your actual odds are my hunch is that you stand a much better chance against a shark than against a People really yeah, I never thought of that Well cuz I feel like a shark doesn't actually have any leverage It doesn't have a way to like regroup and and pounce again Even if he's on your arm you can be pushing him away from you in a way that you can't people can get around the back of you And leap at you again in a way that I just don't think I was shocked at it. I'm sure really I mean that's I feel like they're in the sea is their land Yeah, and they can I just think that usually what I see is that they bite they do a wiggle thing They try to rip the meat off Yeah, and then they and then they come back later and get another one off you yeah But like it seems like a dog he gets a whole year It's a thing that I think they both have a similarity when they get a whole year They don't let go right until they take that piece with yeah, and I think they're kind of jaw-para and their teeth They kind of have a good chance of taking the piece Sharks probably more than dogs obviously depending on the size.
Yeah, and they're kind of shark Well just people come out of the ocean all the time where they're like whoa a miss in half my army just took that Like a pit bull never that lady recently where she just had the back of her calf taking off right so that's pretty horrific And just a pit bull is gonna have to wrestle a piece of you I don't think a pit bull's gonna never seen a people take like a hamstring I'm like gonna bite through a tip fib right yeah Yeah, you have to get some time to work on that's a big shot That's a big shot this guy seem like a kind of guy that could take like your forearm meat off okay, and I was like That could be bad But I also thought if you let him take your forearm meat Yeah But if he bites on and then you fuck him up he lets go because that's I'm under the impression And I still believe this and I don't want anyone to get me to tell me otherwise because this is how I like if I love somebody This is how I tell somebody I love them if it works one time I didn't mean it but I did see like that face of death video And there's a video where it's like a big boat and there's a dinghy like a metal dinghy and there's a lady swimming in between it And they go look out shark and she's like why like like women don't get me started She was she might have been on a period cuz the sharks are he came out of it right in from behind and she there's a boat Like four feet away in the sharks. It's decent It's like six seven footer and it got it leans it comes in casual dude not hardcore speed casual And then leans to the side and bites her leg off Mm-hmm and I'm like dude doing the dinghy could have jumped off the dinghy and landed on the shark And I reckon this what I and I I still I believe this to be factual if you jump on a shark when it's Swearned by and kick it the first thing it does is go Jesus and swims off for a second Will it come back and bite somebody maybe maybe but I don't think the initial reaction when you foot a shark because it's almost Out of the water when you kick it that it goes oh and bites you I think it's first reaction goes Oh shit, and then maybe it'll come back and buy you but by then you should get in the dinghy and you'd be alright See I think you touched on what my my hunches is another fundamental difference between sharks and pit bulls Yeah, sharks want easy pickens sharks just think they're going through a drive-through. Yeah, there's something kicked you with the drive-through You would go you know what actually there's a jack in the box. Yeah, I'll block maybe I should go there instead Hit bulls are like I will kill you or die trying myself.
Yeah, yeah, I see I think we both are together both our brains We're right a hundred percent right so I've always said like if you're somebody that I care about and that is like a shark Cuz I don't want to do that Still like there's still like a 20% chance that when I jump on the shark Maybe I miss any bites my leg off and I'm like well that sucked, you know, that's bad now I'm dead, but for certain people I'll jump off the dinghy and foot stomp your the shark in In I feel confident that you will swim away and we will both get in the dinghy know like you're welcome Don't do that again, you know because I'm not looking to repeat that yeah That was like some hairy shit. You got lucky the one time. Yeah, yeah I don't like that's what I'm known for is like jumping off peers and like bombing on yeah You're not gonna be the Jimmy Superfly Snook of repelling. Yeah, this is a one time deal Yeah, I mean you better get the camera out so I'm not doing it again So I looked into the vending machine thing and there have been a couple of studies on it This I think is a very Compelling an important insight into that for the uninitiated.
This is absolutely not a joke more people are killed by vending machines than by sharks It's crazy this one study into people who have been killed by vending machines It's not a huge day. It doesn't happen very commonly. It was like nine or ten individuals every year every no No, however many they just looked into a number of stories where they could find all the details Okay, I don't know how it was it was nine over a period of time that they specifically studied first Might have surpassed vending machines first of all all mail In this dude all dudes because they're rubbing it right every single one was between the ages of 15 and 24 That's the critical. That's the danger zone 15 to 24 male is like all females because that's the exact point in time where people are like We just shake it harder some free shit will come out Maybe when you shake it hard you don't feel it tipping over towards you so like there was one instance It was a guy I think it was on at one point and this may still be the case the US military put warning labels on their vending machines Because the kind of guy who gets killed by a vending machine is a male between 15 and 24 Who's exactly the kind of guy who's like screw it?
I'm just gonna join the army Yeah They said there was a vending machine that was known on the base that if you shook it enough you could get free shit out of it Wait that killed the troops and so that yeah the guy this one particular person who's one of the people that they studied you would write They tell your parents that they got in battle, right? I would assume so yeah, yeah, you know He tackled this was I bummer. Yeah, you don't say yeah, he died trying to get some yeah I wanted to steal some booty top top top top secret classified information and exact exact. Yeah, right?
Yeah, you keep that shit. Yeah, he jumped on a grenade. Yeah, and that doesn't mean have sex with your ugly friend No, that's really nice, but I was trying to say about the music the Pantera thing because I was listening to this Existy of Gold the other day, and I forgot that I used to listen to and it got me really motivated And like that Panteras on it got me really motivated, but I feel like in my You know in my career. I was getting really motivated.
I wanted to be big in radio and I would Listen to ecstasy of gold and be like, you know, you got to be you got to think you're gonna be something You got to believe in yourself, and you got to work on it And I do know this is a fact too like you know the 10,000 hours thing like the 10 years depending on how hard you work How much time you've got in each day, you know if you look at Rob Deerik like Rob Deerik's a very smart man He's a billionaire man and he his thing is he wants to be a billionaire and he worked really hard at becoming a billionaire And and be creative and he helps other people's businesses flourish like if you're a good friend of Rob or you have enough money to pay Rob Deerik he'll make your business make a lot of money, you know like Pretty much guaranteed you'll tell you what to do and if you do it it'll happen, you know There's a few people out there not everybody you know there's an dush that's on TikTok It he's got a lion's not sheep hat. He's a moron and he's just be he's biting quotes from other things He's like, you know if it's sharp don't you know watch out for the shopping and it's like really what that is very thank God I got that one like douche off and it's like well Don't forget to buy all my clothing and I'm like dude you have the fashion of a fucking onion ring like way too many bracelets and finger like Yeah finger ring, you know ready. You got rings on you ready. You're ready.
You're ready That's like I'll take your finger stuck on something. Oh no, it's not really sharp lock them It's get the fuck out of here, but if you if you if you do something With a lot of drive for ten years You know ten years you're on top in seven. It's pretty sweet already So look at it like that But to stay driven to stay the course things are monotonous You know working to like save up for the thing that you really love or like if you want to be a surfer You want to have money for the surfboard, you know There's like all these things that come in that suck but it's but if it doesn't suck like I eat like a pretty clean diet these days And every now and then I'll cheat with my girlfriend will get doughnuts I have twice. I've got a cookie.
I've got doughnuts once and cookies. Oh my god that cookie was so good But if I had a cookie for breakfast this morning and then a cookie for lunch and then my cook my dinner was a cookie I'd be like oh I mean I would like like some food at this point. It's it's like if you get what you want over and over again You take it for granted They're like having to work for stuff and having no clue on how to get there and and then going out there and finding it You know like I do and I'm doing open mics like yesterday. I Spar the gym I beat up everybody Everyone except my son.
I let him beat me up But that's because I'm an awesome dad, but everybody else on other such a John Matthews is there really I let him be me Yeah, who marked up your face? Oh Like everybody like cuz I thought you know I still get hit I'm not like like Floyd Mayweather and I don't have an impeccable defense my defense is you I let you punch me in the face And I look let me get in on you and punch you but I thought like Eight different guys last night and also at one point my coach different guys and John Matthews He's so weird I love John he jumps around and like when I slip he would be Emotional about it like if I made him miss a lot and he'd be like oh and he'd like oh And like if I did throw a punchy boy Oh, and he's jumping around like a maniac and he's constantly looking for my approval Like he wants to do something great and my main reason for like moving out of the way because I'd usually let people hit Like I like to let people hit me so they feel like they're doing good And I can take a shot. I know it's I'm not trying to be cocky I'm just gonna I roll a little bit like it hits me but I just roll a little bit so people's gloves You know this is like people's The strap scratching me. Yeah, like it's not like a really hot shot Yeah, like talking to hit me a couple times like where he he's funny cuz he's like he doesn't want to hit me And I want to hit me and then I'll like annoy him a little bit and then you'll get angry And then he like went at me and I was like okay I'm really getting out of the way as far as good as I can because I don't want that like that's not it Like I don't want a concussion and you punch hard enough to give me a concussion So I don't want that and then the last guy I posted a little bit bit bigger guy He really wanted to go and Josh my coach was like hey man Like he really wants to go and I was like yeah man a problem And he was throwing some big shots and so I beat him up a little bit I gave him like a black iron stuff But that's because he wanted it, you know and then after I beat him up This one guy that had done three training sessions that day and I could tell he's I didn't know him and Josh He was hey man He wants to inspire you to and I was like okay And everyone had already stopped because the last guy that I thought everybody stopped to watch that because it turned into like a Bit of a real fight and then I was like okay, you know I'll keep going because that's the other thing everybody in the gym took one round off at least one round I did not because I Am I diet in the way I live my life and like the way I used to I'm somebody that when I do something I'm trying I try harder than you do like I feel like the average person doesn't know that they are not trying you can do better Everybody can do better.
I just think there was a time there in my life where I didn't have any skill and I just wanted it So bad this is another thing that I can really understand now because I'm older and wiser and my brain is sober and it thinks Just so much clearer than it used to America man like you guys think that this is the greatest country in the world right because It's movie stars here There's great athletes here like you can be something here and it's like be be be something be what like be a star Be loved by everybody be an influencer be big on TikTok be big in podcasting be a big comedian Like we kind of cater to this You know me and it's like part of the things that make us think that we're the greatest country on earth But I don't know if that might it's factual I think maybe being like a great father or being like even if you're not a parent Or you're not even like a husband if you have like if you live in the woods and you have a great life where you have food You don't have that much stress in your day And you go hunting or something and you breathe in the mountain air and like go in a river or in the sea And you're fishing and all these other things that are out there that we all take for granted because we're not your main scrolling and Go into work and you know in traffic and getting on public transport like it's a lot like this It's a hustle and bustle and it's like this is the greatest country I don't know how many people are having the greatest life It seems to me that like most of us are not really having the greatest life and we're watching other people that are pretending to have the greatest Life because I know some of these famous people. It's not that great You know like maybe like Tony Hall has a pretty great life because he loves skateboarding and he gets to skateboard So that worked out pretty good, but I also know that Tony Hawk has trials and tribulations You know me like he's got his parents are gone He's mom had like a all-time all-time is I don't know how to say it's I got no education, but watching that is Pretty difficult. I would imagine you know he's gone through a lot of stuff. He has a lot of kids You know miles he's got a deal with like that's got to be annoying I mean that alone right the precious of miles is just crazy But he's got you mean everybody has their thing is what I'm trying to say not to mention at one point when he was coming up He was bullied and then when he became really good He was still bullied because he wasn't like the cool dude that smoked weed and didn't do like the tricks that were badass punk rock Tricks he did other things so everybody really killed him like even when he was out in a prime at one point Even to this day there's still people out there that talk shit on him for the way he skates So everybody has to go through it, but if you don't go through it, there's nothing good about it And I also started to get bouncing around everywhere, but being famous being cool being in a movie being having a lot of followers on social media isn't What life's about like to be happy with yourself and the people around you know like you hear it man Old people when they're dying like I should spend more time on my family and my loved ones You know if anyone knows what was best in life It's somebody that's at the end of it because they're not gonna bullshit you and that means I really believe that You know I'm not old and I'm about to die But I really believe when I hear those things I never saw an old person say that to me, but I do believe that that that's a that's a fact You know like when you look back and you like man I should have spent more time with my family and stuff You know and like I feel like I've been as a person that's like I didn't get enough attention as a child This is my this is my theory.
I didn't get that much attention. I didn't feel love so you know I was like I'll be you know, I'll be famous, you know I'll be real good if you're real good at something people will love you, you know, and I didn't realize it that's not real love I'm not disrespecting my fans or anything But I'm just saying being good at skateboarding people like you can get into the club of free or you can get a free t-shirt Or I go into a room and everyone goes, hey, do you know who that is and I go? Yeah, I'm somebody, you know, and it's like I'm skateboarding I there was times when I skateboarded where I've done things, you know I even in the the later years of my skateboarding career I was on tour with Tony Hawk and I was watching Tony skate and he was doing certain things where I done a lot of drugs and stuff I couldn't keep up with him He's a better skateboarder than me whatever chances I had of being better than him were gone But I remember like watching the ramp and I was like what if I jump off that rafter into the ramp? You know that would be entertaining to the fans that are here and it's gonna be on TV That was a good angle, you know, and then and I was right like I was pretty smart at me Like I would do stuff where I wasn't the best guy there But people were like man Tony was ripping but you see the fucking Australian dude jump off the rabbit That was crazy and and then there was times where it got bigger and more dangerous And there were times where I was standing on things looking down and I was like You're gonna die dude like you're gonna this is way too far for you And then I remember thinking this is your chance This is your shot.
You're this is in a few years from now in many years from now You're gonna look back and go you should have gone for it You're pussy because you did it and people are gonna remember you for it remember me for it Remember me for doing cool skateboard tricks like or or don't get hurt don't hurt yourself Like you know, I mean the satisfaction of making it, you know, like I did it I've done things where I was like I think I was gonna make that and it felt good Yeah, and I went back I went and partied about it But it wasn't it wasn't what real joy is what real love is like love is more important than being famous and being respected Like having my kids love me having some friend that I've been good to and he's been he or she's been good to me over the years And we love each other and we enjoy each other's company is far more important than dude You used to rip and I know cuz I'm 52 I'm 53 and like a week it I know it's more important to be loved than to love other people I've I've got respect from people who told me Ellis is you mean as a badass It's that's cool, but it's not as important and I think we're all we're all caught up in that, you know, America is the greatest country on earth I'm not saying it isn't I mean if you look at the ranks, it's not but it but you know, it is what you make it You know, I'm just saying that it seems like we're all caught up in this thing where we think that these things are the most important And for most of us, they're unreachable. You're not gonna be in you know, you're not gonna be naz you're not gonna be Any of these famous blue wanes and and Metallica's you're not gonna be them, but if you're not them It's not bad like it is what you make it you could be a loving caring person that helps people I know this is like super gay, but I'm right. I really know I'm right Loving your kids finding a Companion in life and loving them and having a dog and loving the dog and the dog loves you and going into the woods and camping like a fucking You know, you were being gay But you know, loving the flowers and the sun and the berries and shit Understanding how beautiful it is to be on this planet and breathing air is more important than having tiktok followers And I know when you hear me right now, you're probably like, oh, it's gay, but I'm also right like you can't argue that being popular is as fulfilling as Being loved and loving other people you can't but you'll stop listening to the park has hopefully somebody is actually still listening to the Park has because also a lot of you just watch snippets on tiktok and you don't even watch the show because you watch a snippet And then you when you get a haircut you talk about you talked about he talked about sucking a dick That's usually as far as it goes around here in this world because you're not really driven to like watch the whole thing You know, and it's like same with your life. You're not really driven to put in all the work You know, I've done some boxing.
I've done some taekwondo. I've done some skateboarding. I've done I've done some of this I've dabbled. I used to play guitar.
It's you never stay in it. You never Sit like the bit where you plateau and you don't think you're gonna get any better and you keep going, you know, rocky Balboa shit where like I mean that dude he wrote that he something he knew something because now he's 80 And he's got a hit TV show and he said all these other movies you see it toss a king Sawsome is it okay? Maybe something great. I think it's pretty cool.
I don't know it's because maybe I'm nostalgic about so that's the one Anyway beside the point working for something and and going through a nightmare and and trials and tribulations for this payoff of knowing that You not for someone else for a pat on the back that you can stay in the pocket You can keep going and make things happen It's something that you can carry for the rest of your life and being motivated to keep doing it is finding things movies film people that inspire you that keep you driven and some music to me as a couple songs where I think this is a This is a skill or it's like a thing that I'm lucky that God has given me where I can listen to a song on repeat over and over and over For hours and keep this feeling of like I feel like I'm inspired. I feel adrenaline I don't it is for sure. I have adrenaline rushing through my body and I am not gonna give up and I am gonna dig deep And I'm like last night I fought all those guys. I'm fifty two sixty five I I fought all those guys and my coaches like he ain't taking one break I'm not taking a break everybody.
I spot I would say seventy five percent of the people I spot after I spot him They fell down on their asses to for this one minute break before the round starts again. I purposely Jog around I keep jogging around and then I beat up somebody else and I'm twenty five years older than anybody else in that room And I'll beat the shit out everybody and my sword today incredibly I woke up at six thirty my arm hurts from punching people in their head with it It's my shoulders aching my face is a little bit sort of but after I did stand up I had a shower in this locker room that is real shitty and not very clean I don't like having showers and dirty shower places and the light is like a monitor light And it's like this weird little plastic shower thing and I'm in the shower and I've got the squirties soaked in and washing myself in my Wash my face I feel the cuts of my face stinging with the soap and then the light turns off So now I'm in the dark and also the shower doesn't have hot water So I'm in a cold shower in the dark and then I was like oh and then I went I was born in a dark And I laughed at myself in the dark in the shower while washing my wounds on my face Did you say this was after stand up? No, this was after sparring but then after I took a shower Yeah, then I dropped my son off and then I drove to an alleyway and did Santa Late hungry. I was hungry man.
No, not to do Santa. I was hungry And then this this opened my place they're very nice to me, but it's in an alleyway and there's you know 15 people in the room and Every time I go there the worst it is the better it is because I've been through so many things in my life I've mastered so many things and gone through places where it looks like it's not gonna work for you Dude, like she probably like just call it a day and be like well That was it's not like we didn't try but to me every time I go there's someone there that is so bad and so out of their element And it makes me feel like why am I here that I love it because I know that if I keep going things are gonna be better I don't even I don't even really want it like I do but I like I loved last night There was a guy that was up before me that I was like he He might have brain damage like he was young yeah young black kid And I don't know if he was like really nervous or also like mentally legitimately mentally challenged I've been to a lot of open mics and loss and listen to me feel more like self-help groups It was he was yeah, I'm like did your mom drop you off because shit dude some of the most looking at his phone And he's kept not talking and then a joke. I was like wait is that is it a joke? What did you lose your step and then it and I'm like wait what okay?
What the fuck are you saying? Yeah, it makes no sense at all some of the most you like so probably good off anyway And I was like wow What just happened? Yeah, like you're up next and I was like how long do you want to go? I was like three minutes like you don't want to go more I'm like I want three minutes give me the light in three minutes because I'm gonna audition at the comedy store and the Hollywood improv And I'm gonna get a job there and I'm gonna have a three minute monster And I'm gonna keep going to this alleyway it fucking midnight I don't care if I have to beat up a bunch of people for it or after it or stress the fuck out about some other thing Am I gonna stay I'm still you I still stress and freak out about stuff But I'm going all the time I'm gonna do the same goddamn joke for three minutes over and over again because I've made it That's that's my goal and I'm gonna listen to the same song over and over again if that song goes flat Because that's the other thing that's I could go flat ecstasy of gold can meet less to me on it on a Tuesday I don't know they don't find another song that's like get the fuck up dude go and go and go and don't go and be like Mmm-boom-boom-tied today three minutes of fire like everything you've got in it record it and then watch it after me like I could do that could do that and then and then that will in time I will go and the company still will go holy shit.
Do you want a job? And I'll be like yep and then my name will be on the on the wall and I'll be like that's it not for you not for anybody else No, nothing guess what your name on the wall doesn't mean anything you don't get any money There's dudes there they got their name on the wall that live in a fucking studio apartment and they are broke as fuck That's what you get from it nothing to me me When I die, you know, it's a big deal right now. Like I just kind of realize I realize yesterday It's October and I was like wait my birthday soon and I was like wait It's the 53rd birthday. I was gonna ask you about that It's 20 years ago that my dad died because that's I was trying to try my girlfriend told me when did you dad died?
I was like I know I was born when you I think I when he was 20 and she goes well That would mean that it's 20 years ago and I go fuck it yeah, so 20 years ago He died the day after his birthday and it was it doesn't make it doesn't have to make sense. I just thought There's so many similarities that my father and I have and I'm not proud of a lot of them But I've I've put a lot of those out, you know, like I'm not a cheater. I don't drink. I don't do drugs I'm not a liar.
I pay my way even if I don't think it's fair I I do what's right and I'm not looking for anybody to apologize to me for anything that they've done I'm just sorry for if I can catch it cuz I said the things sometimes I'm not aware of what I think I'm but when I figure it out I'll be quick to apologize and I'll be Dedicated to try not to be that to somebody ever again, and I'm really working on it. I'm really really working on it But you know my my 53rd birthday. I'll be working, you know I'll be at an event that I don't really want to go to But it's gonna pay some money and I really need the money So I'll be doing it and my girlfriend can't be there and I'll be there by myself with a bunch of people I don't know. I don't care Yeah, it might be an altitude too, which is like where you gonna be?
I don't know some right-ball thing. Yeah some Mountain biking where they jump off stuff or something. They wanted me to like be there to like Talk on their social media about like look at that guy jump the gap or whatever. Yeah, man Aggression amplitude rebel's delicious for sure put an amplitude for sure.
Yeah, so everybody's throwing down Everybody's gone ballistic. They're going off like prongs in the Sun Michael. Yes, so yeah, and I don't and I don't think you know Since I've been sober I would I'll be honest. I would be Stressing right now because yesterday when I realized that I would be kind of having a little bit of a panic attack for the next two weeks But instead I'm not gonna die.
I'm not even gonna be close to dying. I don't you're gonna die I just I just did like 20 rounds last night my father If he did three minutes of what I did last night he would have already died before his birthday It's not we're not the same people and we're really not the same people and thanks to my sobriety and all the people Rami that have helped me get here. I'm healthy. You know, I got a heart check out the other day I'm fine.
He's like I don't know what the hell you're doing, but your heart's never looked better And I was like mm-hmm. Well, that's my diet as God as my stress levels going down I'm I feel good about myself. I don't hate myself. I think I hate myself.
I can make myself sick. Oh no doubt And I don't hate myself. I don't need to run Man, how's this one so many call me today that I slept with every now and then just like a side chick Uh-huh not very you know, she's a nice person like metal chick tattooed chick and she goes hey You know, I remember thinking cuz I told her like well, I think she called me like Like four months ago some and I was like, oh, hey, I gotta go friend like okay. We don't mean that long We haven't been dating that long but I've been dating my chick and I was like, oh, I'm sorry I'm seeing somebody and I'm like monogamous like I'm not even doing that at all She goes, oh good for you and I was like, yeah cool.
You're good good. Good luck. You know blah blah blah. That's the end of it She calls me today super sad and I'm like Okay, I just I'm guilty.
I'm like what I couldn't I didn't do anything and she goes hey, I'm in hospital on my You know, I don't HIV to check it. I mean like I seriously jumped at that. I'm like, I've got my tubes tied You don't have a baby. You know, I'm like she goes so I'm in here cuz I got like I'm sick and I had like some blood Transfusion of doctors like and I was like, oh wow, do you know what it is?
You're like no, I'm I sick with them. I calling you about that. I just think I got blood test and she's like I got chlamine and I was like And I was like, oh, it's so cool of you to call me to to try and tell me that but I was like I've been tested Since I slept with you and I don't have it she goes well now I know who gave it to me because it was only two people that I slept with and I was like, yeah Well, it wasn't me because I don't have it and it but it was she was like good And then she was like I've actually got a boyfriend and now I'm gonna have to call him and tell him and he just moved in with me I was like look you didn't did you get it after you dated your boyfriend? She's like no and I was like fucking mistakes happen.
It's a pill take the pill it goes away tell him to take it And you're fine if you really care to understand like these things happen in the world You know you're out there sleeping with people and even some of two people and one guy bitch out These are the streets like I never got it before I was like good for you I've had it five times so I think five times before I don't know but I've had a couple more times and you get the treatment for free But I like kind of told her I was like that doesn't figure out your thing you'll be okay I was like you know, I'm a friend if you never need me I'll be there, you know cuz I'm trying to be nice to her but just the way if you know me cuz I was like wait What I am I okay, okay, okay, let's talk and then I'm like okay But I was like you know these things that like I used to be involved in like that I I don't I'm like maybe like a real relief came over me where I was like you didn't you haven't done anything You you don't need to go get tested you are in the clear your chick is in the clear old me would be like man I gotta tell my chick. No, I understand. I probably did or you mean if I had to guess it's probably made you know Maybe this time I was like oh 100% not me no way It's like when you come out of your teen years and like every time there's a cop car behind you you get nervous Yeah, there was so many years. Yeah.
Wow. That's such a good idea. You were always technically committing a crime You had something in the company. It was just like oh if I get pulled out I'm not currently speeding so I literally don't have anything go ahead pull me over.
I'm high Yeah, so that's a DUI right now. I have nothing I got no weed that reminds me of a situation with a woman I may or may not have married. No, I don't know the details of Can't recall it's a bit Well, I don't know the circumstances of the lady who called you but what it sounds like to me is a situation that happened in my own life Where I went to a doctor you and I have both been to the same clinic on Fountain and La Brea where you'd go there and they're just like so, you know like what house orgy what basement orgy? You're like no, I really was the difference was as they were wrong on you right on me.
Yeah, you go actually I don't do any of that stuff Okay, anyway, I thought I took a Hippocratic I'll carry you but the guy whatever I was there for was not S.T.D. related But he treated it and he came back with the test results He goes by the way just the shit that we ran you had chlamydia don't worry the antibiotic I gave you for the reason why you came here already took care of that. Okay, and I remember you tell me yes And this was pretty much this was early on in my relationship And I'm like oh, I'm such a scumbag goddamn it I really like this girl. Yeah, and I went home and I was like look I gotta tell you I had chlamydia and she's like oh fuck And I'm like oh oh I'm the one assuming I'm the scumbag she knows nobody knows oh Okay, nobody has any idea who to say that this lady doesn't make your bad person If you're single and you're out there and you've slept with somebody it can happen.
Yeah, it's like what robbers are for You know, right? I mean if you use those obviously I thought we're scared of baby. I thought we haven't sex here We wrapped things up. Let me ask you a question Robbie Williams member Robbie Williams I follow him on social media then perhaps not why but I do he was on the show years and years ago yes He is bold and has like a bunch of stuff But he's here all the time to make it look like he's not does that was the main thing to say He strikes me as the kind of guy who would get fake care, but only had fake care not the case Okay, so I noticed when he was on the show.
Oh, okay, then you see him on Instagram. Yeah, it's a full head of hair So he has a they have filmed a biopic, you know every pop star Elton John Queen they make a movie about their life Yeah, he's a big enough deal in the rest of the world. Oh, yeah I remember in Australia He was huge yes, and when I was when he was on that was like you talk to Elvis kind of like what you don't realize is straight is Over here in America nobody gives a shit right we were able to get him on our show Right exactly because he's like the timber lake of He is an unusual biopic everything about it is straightforward telling the story of his rice to glory and drug problems And all of that but in the movie in an unprecedented move he has been portrayed by a Bling trans guy a lady a black eye a zebra getting warmer a horse a monkey Kind of excited about it. I thought it was like this really bad.
Oh, I think I saw up Yeah, if you follow him oh of like people picking on a monkey. Yeah, and now I realize it was it's him So the symbolism of it all is that although the world was celebrating the whole time He felt like he was this unevolved primitive being who was just bumbling through everything Okay, but but the monkey like the monkey like those coke with oasis. That's bad at show the monkey shooting up That's bad. Wait did he shoot up?
I guess I'm for him. Yeah, that's living. Yeah. Well, that's there goes my Angle for a biopic.
Yeah. Yeah, you're gonna find a different you know you can get a shark to play you oh A walking shark like that one movie where there's like a big shark he's job no It's like a shark that walks around oh there it is. Yeah, that's what I saw Dude, I gotta say I don't know that's cool I don't know that I feel the need to say this to see this this is so such a good idea because America Yeah, doesn't really care about it, right? But if you're making a monkey we'll watch it.
I Just if you'd said hey, there's they made a movie about Robbie Williams some young kid who's on some TV show I would never go see it. Yeah, there's a total chance. I'll see it. Yeah, you're saying that's like he looks like an actual monkey and But he's a rock star and he does everyone everybody else is a human and nobody ever acknowledges that he's a monkey It's brilliant.
Yeah, it's kind of rat. Yeah, that is brilliant and it's almost like he didn't do it Yeah, the heroin and stuff is like that's a monkey. Yeah, and it takes the edge off the harsh stuff. Yeah, exactly.
It's brilliant Yeah, better man is the name of that motion. I'm still not gonna watch it But that is a brilliant idea, but I wasn't even what I was a trailer on a plane. Oh hell. Yeah, that's a plane movie Oh, yeah, that's me man That is this time I'm ununited better man is the picture for me.
That is such a good idea good for him because that's well Yeah, he did stuff. Yeah, he does say As far as those sorts of people go fill in this fill in this blank a rapidly an online influencer who's becoming more and more popular is Missing an important body part dick her vaj getting warmer but whole she has no anus. Yeah, so she puts that in her mouth like common I think she's got a colostomy bag. Oh, yeah, what would you rather a colostomy bag or clipping out of my mouth?
Yeah, I'll probably take the bag Jason Really? Yeah. Yeah, I'm not saying about having my own shit in my mouth every day that I can't quite square myself with Oh, that's great Dude, I don't like salmon what if what if it comes out what if it comes out in pellets like a sheep shit Oh, like literally perfect squares. Yeah, okay.
Okay, let's talk. Yeah, let's talk about it because dude a colostomy bag to me It's not great. I'd rather die a colostomy bag would you date not a woman with a not man? I just realized I'm not that nice of a person.
I don't who's I'd like her colostomy are not for everybody. Yeah, she says skinny And why is her head so big? She probably doesn't eat very much. I mean, I'm sorry.
I think she has intestinal issues The reason why she had to have her anus and rectum surgically removed wait. Yeah, they removed it. Uh-huh, so there's no hole They didn't just fix them. They wrecked them.
Oh I have looking for it, but yeah, she does look cute I don't know except for that colostomy bag the camel sort of distracts from the colostomy bag I mean if she had a I can't I mean I I mean it's not it's YouTube, but you pull it out can't you I know But I'm just a huge ass eater. Uh-huh. I don't know if I could go with the color. I don't Well, it's not like a black hole like there is There's a hole there.
No, it's she calls it a patch. She calls it a Barbie bum. It says no hole. Yeah You actually need there to be like licking a butt cheek.
Yeah, I don't know how much fun that would be if it's no fun for her She doesn't have any sensation there. Then there goes all the fun. She had a baby. Yeah, she's kids Why would she do that?
Mama's that no butthole. She may have had the kid while she had a butthole Like is how's that? Oh, no, I don't know if we're looking at her Instagram chronologically You can see that she's lost her hair at a certain point She like famous she's getting there for having no butthole. Yeah, how many falls you have?
I think she might be a 20,000 I think it might be over 100k on tiktok She just said that she's grateful that like last month she paid her mortgage by being a cute chick with a Colostina back. That's where it's oh, yeah, she's not a billionaire, but she's She's making a non-leaf and I don't know how she I don't know if she's an influencer I think she's probably like promotes products the same as any other influencer. Oh, yeah I'm starting to warm up to her. I'm not I mean, that's a brush as hell.
Yeah She's also 15 weeks pregnant there speaking about a pregnant. Yeah, she's a little bit She should just be pregnant all the time. Yes or eat more that would probably be the more practical approach And then it's kind of a bomb because she's got to fill the bag up all the time the more you eat the more you right? Yep, what about if she just blocks the bag and fills up?
Yeah, I think that maybe seven Yeah, I think I can't is I recall that had a bad outcome for that guy right? Well every now and then let it out but just hold on to it for as long as possible. She looks better with shorts on yeah Wait, she's showing okay, you know, I'm bragging about the bag. It's the thing.
Oh, she's trying she's trying out of black She's like a poo bag lady. Yeah, it's okay. Oh, I Don't oh wait. This is how I share with a poo bag.
Maybe wait. What's she putting in there? No, probably shit. Oh wait.
Oh god. Is that the wound? Wait, is that blood? No, I think that's like the thing that they put in that It's like her artificial poop dispenser.
I mean, I really don't like her. I mean not She might not be an influencer. Yeah, I don't like influences I don't want to say I hate them because it's that's too. I feel like she could be different because I don't think she necessarily She's got a fake face set out to be one Her face reminds me of she's like if you live you know John had a colostomy bag and and a lot of plastic surgery She's very platypus.
Yeah, like a lips are way too big. I don't trust anybody with fake lips that big She's got abs. Yeah, but that's cheating. She's kind she's kind of I feel like you would present you would introduce like if I was doing a lot If I'd class me bag, I would be wearing it.
I'd be wearing doing crunches But about this yeah, you have a six pack shredded six pack the and a colostomy bag or you're kind of fat and you don't have I don't think anybody wants a closet. All right, but you've got a really good six pack. Yeah, no I don't think any six pack I could ever have that would make me want a colostomy bag I've done fairly a text using toilets. Yeah.
Well, what about this you? You can't poop, but you have a class to be back as well So it's just they're from them lazy. Let's move on. Hey, man on mushrooms literally Josh Wolf takes three grams of mushrooms on the Friday show Every stand up he does on the late show.
What what's three grams like? It's pretty tricky. I don't I'm old school. I speak caps and stems Even caps and stems.
Oh, okay. Yeah. Um, how many how many shrooms is that? It's like it's like five times.
Okay. That's what you admit. It's tripping. Yeah.
Yeah, I mean maybe he's taller than something He does it so much. Yeah, but still he tripping some people roll on that I feel like mushrooms became the new lead in that regard where like there was a period of time where if you got stoned like you were You were stoned and that was like there's very few people who are just like what I just drink like 15 beers And then I just go through my day. It's like you drink enough you get drunk But there are certain people who are able to smoke marijuana and function pretty much like a normal person and Mushrooms that used to not be an option, but I don't know about five six seven years ago All of a sudden it was like yeah, I just eat mushrooms. No big deal amount of lunch right now You were like that.
Yeah, were you not tripping? Not really. Okay. Well, then either is Josh.
I guess. I had a good point. Yeah. Oh, yeah, man Yeah, I would like want to do that anymore No, I would I would kind of want to do that Like if I if I was Josh and I had a residency and like even if I did the worst show in my entire life I went out there and just started crying and flipping out and stealing chicken fingers from people I knew they would still let me come back tomorrow.
Yeah, just don't ever do that again Yeah, I would be tempted once to go I've been on stage 20,000 times and I like doing mushrooms I just got to see what it's like to put it together, but I don't think I would ever want to do it Yeah, I would have but not now. Yeah, that does not strike me something I want to do in sustainable I got Halloween cookies. I'm probably gonna eat one of those tonight. You are bad Yeah, pretty much the same thing is doing mushrooms on stage a guy on mushrooms took an axe That's gone too far with permanent consequences to his own blank.
Oh, you tried to make him a jonah I don't know if he was actually hell shows where you're your axe was that thing axe wound? Yeah, yeah, yeah, he man We did said that first for sure, right? I don't think that came from ladies. All right.
I like you know what is that Shakespeare I know that sounds like a ridiculous thing that is but there's some gnarly stuff shows where the axe here kind of yeah I just saw those strains meet that up. Yeah, I think I may predate uh he acts himself in the I mean shin right no he cut off his own dick So that's like a side chop right Yeah, I don't think I was going down. I don't think you tried to do it down the middle Right, but I'm just saying like the only way you can chop your own penis off is like from like this I would how would you I would I would I would I would I would not yeah, I'd stretch it out coming from the side and go really I just feel like that's where I get the most like torque or whatever Yeah, I don't think I got it straight down as we get the most tall I don't think I got the I don't have as much up on my penis off. It's coming from the top down I don't come from the side up.
You're not gonna get as much momentum. Think about the way the axe I'm getting way more see here's as much momentum from the side I can go all the way from over here Dude, you're gonna chop your leg off what I run the same risk of getting other body parts along the way You're looking to lose your penis. You're not looking to lose your leg if you lose your penis you can still run Yeah, you hit yourself in the leg your life is really bad So what happened to this penises, you know like is it necessary? So he chopped his dick off and then which did he take penis envy mushrooms?
Yeah, yeah, well probably he Immediately as a mushroom joke had second thoughts. I don't think I'm gonna do it on stage And then he was where he was like Austria it was winter. Yeah, so he went outside and there was snow outside Yeah, he actually throws these big things in like a little giant plan Kind of he was also a crazy person who was on mushrooms. He ended up getting very dirty snow Oh The doctors did an amazing job because they managed to reconnect it despite the fact that it was connected to his nose And it was like nine hours later Which should have been too long to do that and then he got an infection Necrosis set in I didn't think it's where your body part literally there.
No blood is going to it's a Dead penis attached to his He had a zombie dick, but they like brought it back to logic. This guy's available to fuck right now And he has a zombie's penis. It's his own penis. That's it.
That's it. That's an only yes his penis is back from the dead That's an only fan. That's like I'd rather watch him than colossal me bitch. Oh, there's a no one definitely What if they went out with each other?
Oh, yeah, that's a that's a power. That's a power duo That does to on the red carpet. Yeah, and give those to a reality show and I know we got to wrap this up Let me ask you one more a elementary school photographer. Yeah was fired on the spot Yeah, it's just a kid's class pictures for taking photos of for asking a student if she could eat his asshole blank 80s off.
Oh, 80s donut. No 80s. Cheers. No eat his poopy.
She said 80s booger. Can I eat your soul? Oh? That's mellow No, it is really not.
That's it. I mean, that's a joke kids don't have souls. Everybody knows that he's just joking Was it a woman? Yeah, there she is.
Wait. She said can I eat your soul? Yeah, she did first She said because the kids there and you're like trying to make them smile. Is it Halloween in that country right now?
No, this is our country. Oh, right. This is our planet First he said can I steal your identity? Yeah, okay?
That's pretty funny to which he said no, and then he's thinking She's joking dude. And then he said no And then he goes and then he ran it around she goes well. What can I eat? Wait, now she's doing an interview.
This chick's living on the edge. Yeah, she explaining herself to not be a crazy bitch I think she's saying I realize now that my actions were inappropriate do ya She should have an only fans where she says that to you while you jerk off. Can I eat your soul? Yeah, that's horny Yeah, like that's a good bedroom talk.
No doubt your soul. Yeah, I'd be like no, but wow I think I just came, you know, who would you rather sleep with? There I go A 10 who's definitely really good in bed or a 7 who is fully possessed and is definitely gonna ask to eat your soul But you have an absolute guarantee they're not gonna take you with them to help I'm glad you brought up that last big Very important. I mean, you know, you gotta be careful making deals with Satan.
I'm down with the clown I'm not looking to get go to hell. Yeah. I mean these days because I believe in God. It'll be hard Well, I don't believe yeah, no because I believe guys got no affiliation with like demons right, you know because the high power This is just metal dude.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Then hell yeah the seven that she's you go in the room and she's crawling around on the ceiling and her eyes are rolling back And she take me out there and blow me on the roof. I sure hope so Oh, I am all over that when she says I take you so I Don't care you be a one You can be a minus to a class to be back. No, no, that's where I draw the line if you have a class to be back I don't care what you not doing it. I'm not doing it and I know that there's a lot of people with class to be back listening right now going oh Too bad pooping McGillicottie.
Yeah, I'm not doing remember the colosse me bag Okay, but we do if you but we but I would need you to sign up to our patreon patreon.com Lsmate we do a lot of shows every week they're live and they're just as good as this full of wisdom knowledge and love Okay. Thanks everybody. Don't die