It's dirty. It's like he rides dirt bikes. Like when I'm not looking or something. Cuz I take a bath and then I see him and he's dirty.
I'm like, what? Where is it? What part of the house am I missing? That you have found the dirt pool.
Dirt shredder. Are you eating a Mega Ram board? Hey, I sold that to Blaine. Remember me?
He just ate a piece of grip tape. Now it is even more of an iconic board. It was in Mega Ram with it, the X Games, Got the Telepromp, Power Porter. I don't know what you call it.
I think I've got it. And I hot cookies from the old Jason Alshoe back in the day. I've been bitten by a hairliss midget. Speaking of hairliss midgets.
You see that movie where... What's that guy's name is the little guy? He's in a lot of... No Game of Thrones.
Peter Dinklage. Peter Dinklage. He's in a movie where he's in a K Western, which is... I find it hard to believe that a little guy would make it in the Western days.
But hey, Hollywood, you know, he's a sniper. Really long gun. I'm like, long gun. Seems tough, you know?
Seems tough to believe that there's any factual, you know? Was there little people in the Western era? Can we Google that? Was there little people in the old times?
And was there any little Native Americans? Native, we don't... Natives? Were they guards?
Were they hoisted? Or were they set aflame for being evil-widdle-edads? You know? Because you gotta think, those guys...
They thought a different way, you know? I know they were cool with the trans people. I mean, that's just like according to Google or whatever. Who's Google?
You know? Probably working for Joe Biden. Rebel Bean agrees. Just so you know, Rebel Bean and I are Republicans.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, he gets chatty when we talk about it, right? Trump, 2028, right? Rebel Bean?
There you go. Hell yeah. I think I lock out the borders, shut down, make a wall, make a five-wall, make a sea wall. I don't like foreign fish.
Yeah? I'm sick of them coming over here. You're like, oh, how you say, you know, mean, shut up. I don't hear about it, foreign fish.
You're like American fish. American sharks. I like Australian sharks too, but American sharks. You know what I mean?
They're looking for beef. I mean, this sounds like a wheelie-wet song. You've seen the great wheelie-wet people talking about him. He has one enemy.
There's one person that is like, I hate that guy and I will no longer listen to anything you do in broadcasting. I was like, God damn it, that's clear to God. He's serious. But that one guy, who doesn't like it, just know that...
Willie White and Jules and Wilma White of Horse Force, we're making... I feel like we're making... We're gonna make $2,000 this month. That's crazy.
Shout out to Rob Juda in my dreams, by the way. The chat. This is Jason L's 2.0, right? Yep.
So, speaking of Horse Force, and if you don't know Horse Force, it's a show that I do seven days a week on YouTube, just like half an hour, maybe sometimes an hour. I mean, it's not as long as depending on what we've got on our play, but my girlfriend, Juliet, who is 34 years of age, and yes, I am 54 years of age. And yes, that is 20 years. That is what we call in the world an age gap.
And that's... Some people might have a problem with that. I feel pretty comfortable with it. I think when someone's in their mid-30s, they can kind of make up their mind.
I feel like if Jules is 34 and I was 94, it's tougher for me, because my balls have got to be like, hideous. Like right now, I don't mind saying it here, Jason 2.0. Me naked is not bad. It's pretty solid.
If you were at Skankfest, which I... What are we doing? Like, oh man, don't do that. At Skankfest, people are still talking about my hog.
I reluctantly don't enjoy it that much. You think you would, but at this point in my life, I'm like, dude, please. But that's great. But yeah, it's like if you're a younger lady and you like an older man and he's not that attractive, you know, because you've got to look at it like, what about if you're not old at all, and you're just not attractive?
Like, are you not allowed to have sexual relations because you're not like Brad Pitt or whatever? Or like, sorry, Bobby, whatever, Instagram, Jerkoff, whoever, whatever her name is. You know, if you're not classically hot, like what is that? Like you're not allowed to have sexual relations.
I feel like the world of social media is just like such a drooling, dribbling, pathetic pansy, you know? You think you're so cool. You know, there's all these things I see, ladies, they go, they have like a thing where they go. Everyone's attacking me from my looks and then they screen-cap the person that talks smack.
And the person that talks smack doesn't have a leg to stand on when it comes to talking about how you look. So it's nine times that I don't even think it's nine times that of ten. I think it's ten out of ten. Every person that says somebody else is something gross is gross.
And that's why I just, I want to do, just let it go. Let yourselves go. And I don't mean like fat. I mean, let the opinion of the world go.
Stop being in these clans. Probably better word for, sorry, as weird I got to be tattooed on my skin's face. Tribes. Stop it with your tribal.
Everybody's going to laugh at this or everyone's going to be mad at this. And if I'm not mad at this and everyone else is mad at this, then I'm not going to be in the tribe. Fuck your tribe. You know where, you know who, you know who you're with for the rest of your time.
Wait, for the rest of your life? You. You know, you're friends. You know when you get older.
You get wiser. This is a thing we can all agree. You know? Do you agree?
Good. Let's move on. Now that we've agreed that when you get older, you get wiser. Older people have, so until they get, you know, look, if you're born a tard, and then you get a little wiser, you're just a wise tard.
Never trust a wise tard. Remember that when you look at the night sky. There's no point in that. Everybody who doesn't download this show is an idiot.
This is brilliant. But you got your tribe mentality, right? When you get older, when you're getting enlightened, you start to realize that you don't need that many friends. You don't need that many friends.
You don't need any friends. If you have a friend, that's awesome. But we have this thing where it's like, look at that guy, you know, it's like Arthur Fonsarelli had a lot of friends. Fuck off.
In the same jacket for like 30 years, you're like a 30-year-old hanging out with fucking teenagers. You're a loser. You're the same diner every day. You're a fucking loser.
You never left town. You're like 38. You never left town. You hang out with 18-year-olds.
Creepy, really? We think about it. This tribe, cold quest, thank you, Dave in the chat. It's just not...
You don't realize it, you know? And you won't break free from it because if you break free, you'll be, no, we won't. You'll be by yourself. You're not by yourself.
You're with you. You are a part of the universe. You speak through the universe. The universe speaks through you.
How do you be alone? You're you. You're in you. You are in yourself.
You are yourself. Shut up. I love how Zack's answering. I don't know why you're answering her.
Don't answer her. If you don't know that Alice 2.0 doesn't have Telly in it, I don't, again, I don't need your tribe, man. I don't care if you care. Don't listen.
I don't care. I'm dropping facts. I'm dropping knowledge. I'm dropping from experienced pain scars, blood, sweat, and tears.
Oh, that's a leak. You gotta stay as mixed up. That's fine. He's a retard.
Take it any way you want it. I don't care. I love everybody, but I'm not carrying you. You know?
Right. You know, Rumble Bean doesn't speak English. You know that? And I really enjoy Rumble Bean's company.
And he also really enjoys mine. Also, pretty sure he doesn't understand English. Or like, you know, Spanish or any of that stuff. We feel each other's souls.
You know? There's a soul connection. We're soul brothers. Lee is a dude.
Great. I'm wrong. Also, I'm a douche. You're a douche.
We're all douche. We're all douche's. We're all beautiful. We're all fantastic.
Evil. You know what I mean? Great. But I'm really starting to think like what we do with each other, the people we hang out with, the communities we're with.
Like, that's great to have a community. But don't let it decide how you live your life. You know? Think for yourself.
And the only way you can think for yourself is if you spend time by yourself and really understand that. And I think these days more than ever, the phone, you know, it pulls you in and you stop thinking about what you really want in your life. What makes you happy? Who makes you happy?
Who doesn't make you happy? Things change. All of a sudden people you've hung out with, let's say there's like seven times you've hung out with them and you've realized one day when you spend a couple hours by yourself, the last seven times I've hung out with that particular person. It doesn't make me happy.
As a matter of fact, it kind of stresses me out. You know? It's like 311, you know? Like, good for you.
But if you, you mean like, I'm not gonna get mad at you if I walk by it. But if I'm stuck in an elevator for two days and that's playing, I'm gonna kill myself. I can't live with that. And I don't want to free, I don't have no 311 friends, you know?
They used to be dancing and now they're 311. It happens. We change. They change.
People change. And when they change, we get stuck in these tribes where all of a sudden we're doing this stuff where we don't even want to do it. We're just doing it because we're just a creature of habit. Branch out.
See new things. Be scared. Go do things you've never done before. Be terrified.
I'm terrified. Right now. I have never been more terrified in some time. I'm moving to another state.
And I am terrified. Terrified of it. I've been in LA for 20 years. You know?
This is what I know. This is what I am. I've moved around the city, but the city is, you know, a new house. So what?
I don't expect my travels to be smooth. I expect them to be full of trouble, trials and tribulation, shock. Oh, I don't like this. I'm downsizing dramatically.
Because I'm a nibbing in the bud. Now that I'm fully in charge and driving this whole tank, we're cutting it off. We're rebuilding and we're downsizing the Jesus out of it. And I'll be back.
And maybe I won't be back. It ain't about the future. You stress about the future. You stress about the past.
We only got now. Right now. Whoops. Missed it.
Now there's now. What about now? Here comes now. Now.
What I just said five seconds ago. Go. Go. Take it back.
That's the past. Whatever I said, it's done. It's over. The bridge is over.
Well, we have it right now. But it is fun to think of things. Because you're in control of your own mind, your own decisions. If you think about the past, think about the good things, you know.
A lot of us for our trauma want to remember the bad things because it brings us back to a traumatic time in our life. And that's all we know. So we keep thinking of it. You know, there was some great times that we've all had in the past.
And there is some great times that we're all going to have in the future. Same applies to the bad. Why think about the bad? If there's a lesson to be learned on it, which is also why you don't swipe and you don't smoke weed and you don't drink, you don't do all these things.
You can do it every now and then. But if you do it all the time, you don't really analyze what it is that you really like. When you think about something that really annoyed you all the time, you got to tend to that. You've got to tell your mind that you no longer think about that.
Because it is not real. The only thing that is real is right now. Is that red light flashing? Oh, like so.
On the camera it is. I mean, it's going to die. No, no. There's no tape in it.
Sometimes it does that. So yeah, moving to Utah. You know, it's all to my kids about it. So it's my landlord about it.
Also, my landlord loves me. I think it's so great. It's letting me out of the lease because he's like, I get it. You know, sometimes these things happen.
You got to sad to see you go. And I'm like, crazy how this is the first time I've ever lived in a house where it's my house and nobody else has been here. This is me, my responsibility. And it's the first time that I can remember where the landlord likes it and likes me.
Mmm. Such a bad guy after all, am I? So yeah, became a witch before because now I am going to move into the wilderness. Also, I just mentioned that I was thinking about moving to Utah.
Utah is already posting. They are like, come here, go there, go there, do this. Hang out with me. So I got friends.
I got people that I really care about that live in Utah. I will be living next door to somebody that I truly love and their family. Love them dearly. Ken Bloch's family, a person that was one of the most special people that I've ever had in my life.
And I will be living in the house next to their house. And they have horses. And they have land where potentially, if there was a horse that needed rescuing potentially, I could put that horse there. And then I could potentially, once again, future tripping, get a saddle and ride that horse through nature, the wilderness, not a trail in Los Angeles.
The actual, what I would call, I may, the bush. I can ride a horse in the bush. Stay with me. Bow and arrows.
Because if you shoot guns off horses, I don't know if I'm ready for that. I'm definitely pretty sure the horse that I'm going to start riding isn't either. But a bow. Oh, man.
Learn to use a bow. First things first. Probably going to need some practice. Have I shot a bow and arrow?
Yeah. Was I real good? Nah. But there's probably the bows fault.
I've already found, thanks to the people on Instagram, showed me guys a guy. He shoots bow and arrows. He makes his own bows. He shoots bows off a horse.
Oh. He goes under a horse and shoots it so that anyone even sees his hiding on the horse. Stiper. Sickness.
So I'm going to perfect. Because that's the other thing. Can't fight. Can't skate all the time.
Gotta do something else. Golf. I was going to force myself to play. My friend who lives down the road as a golf course in the front of his house.
Boom. Shucker Lucker. Boom. Shucker Lucker.
Boom. He's rich too. He's like a rich friend. That's cool.
He's cool to have a rich friend. He can talk about money and I'll be like, that sounds cool. He's got cool cigars. I'll start smoking cigars.
And I ride the horse all the time. Get real good with the horsemanship. Get real good with bow and arrow skills. Then my first prey, my first victim, could be a deer.
More likely probably going to be a rabbit. Maybe it's a coyote. I'm going to skin it and I'm going to make underwear out of it. And then I'm going to wear that underwear on the horse with a bow and arrow.
And then eventually, like in the Tom Hanks movie where he's lost on that island. Remember how he got the spear? Remember when he first couldn't get the spear? He was like fat and he was like a fat-ex guy.
And then he became all shredded with a beard and stuff. That's what I'm going to look like. I'll be staying on the horse with a coyote one o'clock. Boom.
Get the deer. Then I'm going to tie the deer. We got it. And then I'm going to tie it to my back.
And then I'm going to ride my horse with the bow and the deer. Antlers and all through the bush mat. And then I'm going to get like one of those horn Viking horns. I've got ones.
Already. Mmm. And that means dinner is on its way. Wench.
Get ready. And then Jules. My hickler and wench. Just so you know, Jules and I have a great dynamic.
I'll let you know a little secret. Sometimes I say like you're, you know, get me that you super bitch. It's a joke, you know. It doesn't sound as good when I'm doing it in public.
It's funny. You know, it's never serious. I would never, that's, yeah, ridiculous. It's making me laugh though.
But I will show up on horseback shirtless with the blood of a beast that I have killed on my trusty steed. And she will prepare the fire. And then we will skin it and we will cook it. Gonna need a freezer.
Because you can't need a whole deer in one shot. But you talk about grass fed beef at air one for, it's like $16 for, it's insane. If you get an actual steak, it's like 20. I'm like, dude, I gotta cook it still.
I've just decided going to the other supermarket that's cheap, but it's still like for hippies. Trader Joe's. Trader Joe's doesn't have raw milk or raw cheese. So I no longer consume dairy products.
This is a part of the budgeting. One day I'll be back. One day I'll be back, everyone. Or I won't.
But, okay. What is the DEX driver say moving states with a new relationship? Good luck. That sounds sarcastic.
Then you think? It sounds a tad sarcastic. It's almost like you wish failure upon thee. It shows me the insecurity because we look at each other.
I'm a reflection of your feelings, of your emotions. You should change your tune, son. So that good things happen to you. You don't want what you're just calling for me to happen to you, do ya?
Because I can tell you, the driver guy, I hope the best for you, sir. I do. I sincerely do. I hope the best for her all.
Anyway. Duh. And then she will also be wearing a line cloth. Nice.
And then, assuming she doesn't leave me because it's a new relationship and we move to a new state, yes, son of a... See what I mean? Like, this is a chat. This is my Patreon.
Patreon.com. I'm ready for anyone to get all my shows. But this is a fan. I hope I'm not insulting you, the driver.
It potentially likes me. And it's like moving to a new state in a new relationship. Good luck. You're a dick.
That's okay. But yeah. I'm terrified. Just being honest, I'm terrified.
Yeah. Moving to a new state trying to find comedy. I was telling Jules, I might be like the most, one of the most successful, funny comedians in Utah. And that would give me all the work.
That might not be the case. It might be even less, but even less seems pretty impossible considering I can't get a fucking spot in this state. I'm passing everywhere. I get an email every week from the Hollywood improv.
What are your avails? Who cares? Why am I telling you? Well, yeah, I will.
So, yeah, there's that. But doing the horse force, going live, a lot of people that are not members of my Patreon who are definitely on this thing where it's like, what's up with your daughter? And they're talking about my girlfriend. I mean, it's...
I mean, I don't even care. I know I look good for my age, but I still am. I am old. You know?
But it's funny. Because it just is. I don't think I've ever been in a position where I've heard it and been like, maybe there is some truth to it. But where I'm like, well, it's 20 years, a big gap.
I'm like, wow, that is weird. But we seem to get along really well. I don't know. She seems more responsible than anybody else I've ever gone out with.
But I don't know if it's the algorithm we're talking about it, but TikTok showed me this couple that is pretty gnarly. And this is where... Look, I know that this is science and I don't trust the science, maybe you do. I don't know.
But if you're... Once you've reached, I think it's 25, you're supposed to, hopefully, depending on whether you're... Depending on if you're a bit of a tart or not, that you've reached your full maturity of like an adult. You know, the decisions you make from 25 and up is like kind of who you are for the rest of your life.
You are of sound mind. You know? So dating somebody that's 25 and up, that kind of works. So this relationship that I found here on TikTok is a lady who is 25.
She's 25. Her boyfriend is 76. That's... The only thing that's crazy about it is when I go back to...
I know that you know, you got haters, trolls, say things because they want attention. And people are like, you know, I look old for my girlfriend. And I think my girlfriend does have like kind of a young looking face, but she's 34. I don't care.
Like, it's fun. These two... It's pretty crazy because he is very old. I'm assuming...
I'm not even assuming. I've seen it. I follow them now because it's that entertaining. He is wealthy, right?
And they mentioned, I saw in one of the videos, they mentioned that they met on Tinder. So she matched with a 76-year-old man at 25 on Tinder. Let me ask her. Is there any 25-year-old women listening?
Probably not. But if you are, have you ever swiped right on 76? And if you did, why? Because we're talking...
The only thing I will say that I... They both speak Spanish. One is from a Spanish country, I believe. And the other guy, he's like, well, he's a global guy.
But they go camping. They go on hikes. She is gonna kill him. I saw a video where she was talking about how they're gonna...
She'll take care of him when he's in a wheelchair. She's already planning for his death. But here's a video where she kisses him and he opens his mouth in this way. I mean, look at the photo of this guy's face.
And I know I'm being mean. I'm judging people for their looks. But come on! Go ahead.
Oh! Look how many things it is. We're in the most amazing views spot you've ever seen. I don't think you can see the view though.
No, no, you can't look how many. Just come with me. She's making him do TikToks. She's making him do TikToks.
So... I mean, yeah, great. She's... Alright, that'll do.
That'll do. She's kind of hot. But she's also kind of not. You know?
Like... She's pretty hot. But there's also something that tells me she doesn't think she's that hot. She has insecurities.
And now this is a video where I believe she is talking about that they have already discussed that when he goes fetal... When he goes too old. Because dude, 76. What?
You know? Like, I don't know man. If you're 76... And your girlfriend is like, you guys have already talked about what is gonna happen when I'm in an old person's home.
Because he says in this video, apparently according to her, that he doesn't want her to wipe his bum and stuff. But go ahead. I'm not gonna have a conversation with that about this. He's having a conversation with me.
But not so crazy much. But what he has let me know is that he's not gonna give me the responsibility of fully taking care of him. We're gonna get an aid. I'm not just gonna leave him and imagine him and be like, no, I'm not gonna help take care of you.
I love him and I want to be able to take care of him with the guests to that. And I mean the question about the wheelchair, the walker. Especially the wheelchair. Videos don't do him justice at all.
But he's fit. I mean he is super fit and healthy. He could do like a thousand five hundred pushups like nothing. In another hour.
I mean, not so long ago he was climbing this crazy mountain that I can do at 25 results. So he's really healthy and fit. And I'm not too worried about him being a bound homebounder needing extreme care like that. But obviously we don't know.
No one knows how everything, how life ends up being. So... So... My thing is why make that video.
Like why? I don't know. It just seems like... I don't know.
Maybe 76. I don't know what... Like I'm trying to think of like his... Cause there are people that are 76 that don't...
He looks 90. He does. He looks very old. He's dying man.
And he's like... I think he's like look, she's beautiful. Compared to him, she's insanely hot. Do you think it gets to a point where you've had your loves, you've made your millions.
You're trying to enjoy the... I mean it is the end, you know. Like... This is the end.
Like he's going to be walking for, I don't know, like 10 more years before it's like becomes pretty crazy. And he's like look, I've got a beautiful woman. She listens to me. Do you think that...
I guess what I'm asking is... Do you think that there's sincerity in this relationship where... She's like look, yes, you're going to give me a lot of money. I'm never going to work again.
And in turn I will... You know, we're enjoying each other's company. We go to restaurants. We go on hikes.
It is crazy that he can hike. That's crazy, you know. It is. Some people are like 35 and they couldn't do the hike.
You couldn't get up in that mountain. Like, altitude. It's impressive. He's also so skinny.
He is a buttless man. There is no butt. He can walk backwards from what you ain't going to know. No, make no difference.
But he dies. He gives other money. I don't know if he has kids. That'd be my only thing.
I feel like the kids would be like, his kids are probably 20 years older than her. If he does have kids. Maybe he doesn't. Maybe he doesn't because man, it's a weird...
I feel like if you had kids you'd probably, you know, it'd be different. Be harder to do. I don't know. I don't know what people think.
I'm happy for them. But she goes, look, I will visit. You mean we'll have the aid? You have a rich person.
So I'll go out and I'll go to restaurants and I'll probably date a guy. You know, we'll get another apartment. I'll have a lot of money. I'll have an extra apartment where I boned this other guy that I paid my dues.
I've been sleeping with a 70-80 year old guy for a decade. And now I have a boyfriend of like a certain caliber who's now into my money. And I don't know. Is that...
You know, like, money is not everything in this life. That's the other thing, you know, that's the go back to the tribal thing. You want money because that's what the tribe says. You know, your success is like accolades.
You know, how much about one? How many cars do I have? What does my girlfriend look like? How many houses?
Blah, blah, blah, blah. That's not important at the end when you go. You can't take it with ya. You can't take it with ya.
What is important is love, respectfully, yourself, and the people that are around you. The small unit of people that are around you. The rest is bullshit. You're dancing for the juggle-os.
You know? It's all bullshit. Absolutely bullshit. I will not answer to it.
I will not. Any more. I will not. I'm done.
So maybe, you know, if you're 25, I mean, I just... This is this... Okay, maybe I'll do it. I can't have old balls on me.
You know? Like, can you picture that guy's balls on you? I can't. Is there anybody out there in the chat or anyone DM me on Instagram at WolfMate where you're like, hey, what's wrong with old balls?
But you've got to be... You've got to have a younger Johnna. That's the difference. If you have an older Johnna and you've got old balls, well then...
Hey, America. But if you are like young, why? Why? You know?
I mean, she doesn't seem that intellectually advanced. Quite frankly, neither does he. Maybe that's how it works. Maybe they have riveting conversations about Jack Diddly.
If my chick is like, hey, doing a TikTok fit check and I'm 75 and I wear the same fucking flannel that I've had on for the last 35 years, I'm like, bitch, no. You do a fit check. Look at my fit check. Here's my fit check.
Still breathing. He got porsches. She's in a driveway with him and they got porsches. What?
What? He's 75, 76-year-old needs a Porsche. You know? He doesn't look like he goes fast.
He doesn't look like he thinks fast. What's his video? Hi, it's San Diego and we are downtown. You can see the tall building.
So we are ready to go to literally the barbeque market and to lunch. You probably get down to lunch. Yeah? So here's our outfits for that.
It's not called that though. I was in a wedding with Jack Diddly. It's also called that. I know.
So I have this kind of check with Ben down. I'm in a lot of flight. So it's mostly a day and there's outfit in the day. I just have one in a jacket because it's San Diego cold, 65 degrees.
And my jeans, nothing new. I'm in a plane. Yeah. It's crazy, dude.
Like I just don't know if I'm ready. You know? Like if I was... Like I'm 30 years older than her and I could not go out with a 76-year-old lady.
And he seems like a real nerdy guy. So that tells me that maybe he never really saw some hot tang ever. And he's just been working real hard. And now he's finally at this point where he's not...
If you're 70, if you're 75 and you're on Tinder. Dude. Like think about that. 75-year-old did somebody else make your Tinder account?
Like did you daughter make it? Because she feels sorry for it because you're such a nerd loser. And she's like, well look, if you're a bone in that dad, I guess. Like hats off, you know?
Like if you're getting that and you're not gonna die soon. At least that's pretty cool. You know? I think most of us would be pretty pumped on her, right?
Zach, would you be pumped on her? Yeah, it just seems like a single thing. If you're single, you know? She's cute.
She seems big. I don't know. She's cute too. Is she trans and she's like 6'3?
And he's like actually 6'4? Or is he a leprechaun? You know? Because I think she's like 5'4.
And he's a freaking elf. What if he's one of the ones you mentioned at the beginning of the podcast? He's a little person. Hey, a wittleman from back in the 1800s.
What if he's a thousand years old? What's that guy? The Benjamin Button? Oh yeah.
He's on the stage at the start. He's like an old baby. She's rubbing the grill. Right.