How can working out your local teams take you further? Sure, you can level up your teamwork skills You also get a chance to receive a Tim Hortons scholarship award ready for what's next apply today at careers dot Tim Hortons dot CA Yeah, man. Welcome to the show. Here's the black guy with a mustache He's older He was he was on the Shut up probably he's on the Maybe Def Jam comedy the short little guy that knows Who everybody is?
He attacked him for stealing stuff Steve Harvey Yeah, so Steve Harvey saying that he was a comedian broke no money and He kept saying God, you know, I mean, I'm ready. I've been doing the work God Like let it happen and he was like I was like nope not yet And then he got a call to be on some big televised comedy thing like big thing that he that he's known for it was the first time he was on TV and he hasn't been not on TV since and He had I think it was $30 And he was living in his car And he had $30 and he had to get to New York and he didn't have enough money for gas To get there and couldn't get there enough time because he was living across state and it was like I think he asked his parents and they were like tough titties and then He got a call I'm telling the butchering it But you know just meaning of the story is the main thing I saw this like this weekend which works out because Right after I saw this something happened to me so He gets a call from somebody that says hey man Will you do this gig and it was one night? And I think it was for like a hundred and fifty bucks And he did so well that they had him do the next night I think might have been two nights or three but he ended up getting enough money to buy a plane ticket to go to New York then he was on in New York and Rumblebean I'm telling a story And I remember being hasn't seen me for a week But he he got the money from planting it went to New York and did I think it's the at the Is it the Impala? How do you say it?
Yeah, like the Apollo I knew I was saying it wrong I knew that was a car and one was a place where you did comedy or whatever anyway He did the show he got to New York did the show and he was like and I've never been on I've never not been on TV since that day And he'd been doing comedy for about five years. I think in his car and I think right before this is when when he got off at the gig and he was like and he didn't have the money and that's when he was like Right Look God you said you mean he kept saying to God. I'm ready like I'm good enough I'm ready when you're gonna give me my shot and God was like not yet. This is him telling the story No, I'm not sorry.
I'm massacred massacring it sure look. I've been awake for half an hour I'm I'll get into that in a minute, but so he's like that's it. I'm I'm going home I'm driving back to my parents. I'm gonna crash there and get a job This isn't for me and that's when he got the coal to go to the Chevy and Paolo And then I didn't have the money and then the club got him a gig and then he got the money to get the plane ticket and then he went And he made it and God he thinks God was like you're not ready yet until you're ready to quit Now you're ready because God tests you You know, I don't know for sure, but I believe he might be like a Christian of sorts of me You know when they talk about the Lord a little bit You know me like loads like you know me my name's the Lord.
I mean we have like a direct I don't know what you have a lunch. Well, I had a burger. I had you know good for you I don't great praise Allah. I don't you hell yeah love it all, but that's how he saw it so I I am watching this video in an Airbnb with a lot of people when I woke up in the morning There were people that sleep on the couch a lot of people and it's been a long time Which also tells me that I have been still the spooning it for some time now when it comes to my life For instance this house.
I have a pool way out of my price range But at the time had a girlfriend she had a job she was like I pay someone rent and I was like well I don't have to get an apartment because I was trying to find apartments and they were like here right five dogs So one dog guard so now I've got four of it. You're still not getting the payment before hey. I don't know what happened We used to be podcast buds remember we networked together Being in the key in like dude, right? Okay, so anyway I'm more quit around people.
I know it's weird because I seem like such a jerk off, but I don't like people I don't know and so that I don't like I don't like being I'm uncomfortable around people. I don't know I mean we share a bathroom. I don't like sharing a bathroom once again silver spoon champagne problems man got a bathroom I don't like it. I'm hiding in this room until it's time to do a show I don't want to shit on anybody here Everything is fine.
It's it's really tight and look I can't I'm either look I get a lot of money and I buy Everything anything I save no money. I Have no money. I get you know things get tight and I lock up I can't you know It's like I'm full gay or I'm or I'm strictly monogamous Dude, I don't have any in between you know me like look I like weed and drinking and creative and stuff I can't I can't I just go wow all the drugs ah Yeah, all the buzzies. I can't I got it.
I got it. I got us. I can't I can't do casual Beers on the weekend. I can't it turns into crystal meth and anal.
I know I don't like it, but that's what I am so things are extremely tight and I took a gig last minute to Tahoe It wasn't the biggest paying gig, but it was it was a gig and I can't say no to anything Little bit running around. I'm going to Utah tomorrow I got a lot of stuff going on and probably wasn't the greatest of ideas But I need the money and I'm also thinking you need the money So when you go really don't spend any money, you know So the first day I think I got The Airbnb is I was a driver. It was like a fight. It seemed like a seven-minute drive from the casino to the house Up and down a hill very you know mountains up to the top of mountain I guess I was off on the timing on how long that drive was The first morning You know I didn't I went out into the living room and it's people on the couch just sleeping I was like oh it reminded me of you know there was a time in my life where that's just kind of how we roll I mean there was always people falling asleep everywhere.
They're all drinking and partying. I'm not I'm up Five hours before these people. I don't want to disturb them. I gotta get out of here So I Got an uber one time right it was $48 and I was like I can't Get another one tomorrow It's chipping into the money that I'm making while I'm here So I thought to myself I got up and I people more people on the couch now and I'm like oh I gotta get out of here now I'll tell you what I'll do I'll get I'll put some shorts in my backpack and I'll walk it I'll walk down You know two hours later.
I'm walking down this hill and my hips starting to give out on me You know that's you know prior skateboard, you know, I don't care whichever you want to call it I'm injured. You know I'm a bit mangled. I'm stretching it out and walking down the hill and I'm like I Like this but I'm just telling the story. This is this is it sounds sad, but it's not it got sad for a split second And then I laughed it off but I'm walking down this hill, right and I'm doing shows the shows are weird.
You know the tine casino They're not packed the person the Ted lining is not a big act I have more pool than they do and it's not a pissing contest. It's just what it is But then you know people there were a few people that came but really not that many You know we're in this house with everybody I'm trying to get out of there and I start walking and I'm walking down this hill and I'm like man You know this is this is comedy, you know like this is you know, you some gigs are cool and some gigs are a bit rough, you know It was not my I'm hiding, you know, I'm hiding from everybody And I'm trying to get out and where I go is I don't even really want to go there I'm just trying to get out and I'm walking and it's about two hours in and then I look on the map It's another 50 minutes and I'm like, holy shit, dude three hours like You know me in the mountains and I'm walking three hours and my hips giving out of me and then it dawns on me How much money I'm making to do this weekend and it's four days one day I miss Well, he's doing it into the microphone now. He might be done for the Jason. I'll show that is crazy That's like he's new things he comes in that he wants to leave Anyway, I'm walking down the hill and I don't don't message anybody don't try to throw anybody under any buses I want to make sure everybody knows what I'm saying right now.
I'm not mad at anybody All right, I got no beef with anybody that's involved in this story I'm walking down the hill. It's been a couple hours and this is the devil says to me You know how much you're getting paid for this and it's like four days. I'm silver spooning it This is not a lot of money for four days, you know, I could be going somewhere else I could be home resting And then it dawns on me and this is the sickest part of my mind that How much money I'm getting for this is? Two weeks worth of money that I give my ex wife and that's Because she's giving me a deal because I really owe them all Now my brain is adding up that really it's about For me to be here for four days by myself, you know, we're talking all day all night hiding in a room not eating food I want to eat I'm living off beef jerky I'm walking right now for two hours because I can't afford to spend money on an uber And This is one week all this money is going to her for one week then I then there's three more weeks and I and I I started laughing and Then I almost started crying it almost broke me because that's what the evil part of my brain And I think a lot of people can relate where you you tell yourself something that isn't real You know, but just for a split second in that little You know my hip giving out and the heat I'm sweating my ass off and I'm like all Jase would just get an uber all Jase Wouldn't be here.
Oh, yeah, you know, it's like dude. It's not that's not what is right now That's not what is real and there's other money that you make you can't just you mean you're splitting it and making it the most painful way You can think of it But then I thought of the the TikTok I saw of the Steve Harvey guy where You know, it doesn't get good until it breaks you until you until you realize, you know, cuz it's the other thing very spoiled Man, you don't like everybody else's listening you guys are in the same you guys. I make one money them probably most of you Where this is the most bullshit where story ever but it hit me, you know, it hit me in a way That really struck a nerve, you know, I was like, what are you doing? You know, what is this for?
And then I realized I was like Because this is what I am like this is this is how it's gonna go and because of that. I'm walking I mean, there's the other good thing about it. I got headphones in my bag, but I'm not doing it I'm not running I'm just sitting with it and I'm like figure it out Jason Like why did your brain say that right then because it really like if you had a see me walking down this hill Here's the other thing There's no sidewalk and the hill cars are coming up and they're breathing a horn because they don't want to run me over And I'm like I don't have anywhere else to go do you want to go into the woods? I have to be on the road to make it down to the fucking lake Well, he was killing me.
I would have rented a car Old Jason would have rented a car. I can't rent a car. I don't have a car. I don't have a fucking car It's getting tricked out for free.
See what I mean, but now there's money that's involved and I told the guy I don't have any money and he's like really not even and I'm like he's a good credit card. I'm like Dude Don't make me do this, but I don't have any money. I don't have any credit cards I don't have anything to give you I can give you a skateboard Fucking pissed me off man. You know and then all this others, you know dingo You know all this stuff that I care about That I just put I take it, you know, I don't want to go anymore man I want to quit But I believe that these people see me.
I'm not quitting I'm never gonna quit and that's why I'm gonna make it You know, and then I did this show and I had this thing in my head when I did the show I'm sitting there by myself. They got these other comics. No, I don't know. Maybe they're new the main guy the headline a guy He's just like he's PG, you know, like I don't know.
He's a nice guy The other four comics before me New one of them is a school teacher. It's not his job And I'm looking at the crowd and like a quarter of the crowd are like 70 70 years old And I'm like this is Humiliating I'm gonna bomb for the for enough money to pay my ex-wife This is fucking crazy, but then I was like Who fucking pissed? What are you fucking stop? Talking to yourself like that wake up here you are with another opportunity, you know, make the seven-year-old couple laugh With your disgusting humor if it's that good they'll laugh And then something just came over me where I was like I don't fucking care I just don't care if you don't like me I've got to be true to myself and I have heard other comedians talk about it in a way like that where it's like don't answer anybody Do what you know?
And I came out and I fucking killed to an audience of people where I would have thought At least 45% of them were like you absolutely not this guy is inappropriate. This is vulgar. I purposely cussed more I might have even said don't like me. I don't fucking care.
This is how it is and then Sunday night I went even harder and I killed even harder and a and the couple that I saw before I went up on Sunday that really made me Check myself whether I should commit to being who I am or just doing like the Tony Hawk joke and being mellow The the wife came over me was like look I see a lot of stand-up comedy my husband and I and you I definitely not my demographic Oh your style, but I found you to be incredibly hilarious. I could not stop laughing I think you're amazing She doesn't realize this but like that was the biggest compliment I probably had in my comedy career because I remember looking at her before I went backstage and was like Man, I like old people. I don't want to bum anybody out You know seems like a lovely couple that are at the casino and they're like let's go see some comedy You know I didn't know that they'd seen comedy before but I definitely had a vibe that they were like I don't want to see some dude talking about sucking a dick and doing crystal meth But I came out I've made up stuff. I did crowd work I wrote a joke in my head from a situation that happened in the afternoon Like real fucking skill You know, I don't mind saying that not shame.
I'm not ashamed of fucking bitch. I'm not ashamed of fucking brag You know, I got evil people in my mind that talk a lot of shit. I'm also a fucking force You know, I may fucking force My drive my skill my fucking dedication. You can't fucking touch me It's only a matter of time and that means don't quit and that means Sometimes you hear this evil thing in your head where you say the worst things yourself I'm on a roll Start doing that vibrating.
I have so many stories to bitch about so much fun. So I Do these shows They give me a hotel room for the last night. So that was cool I guess what I was really trying to get to was I don't know how it happened, but you know, here's the other weird thing I'm walking down this fucking hill for two hours. I see I got 15 minutes left I've got all these thoughts going through my head another car comes up the road and beeps a torn at me And I'm like man, you know, I didn't say anything But I'm like I can you understand like a motherfucker is on foot.
There's no foot path I'm in the curb like I'm not trying to get run over but fuck you, you know, but I didn't say fuck you but I thought fuck you Then the truck a truck comes down the hill and it's like Alice and I'm In an incredibly dark mood Walk it because it's like I'm starting you know when you try not to live but then it just feels good because that's the other thing When you compensate you make yourself crooked. I've learned this from hurting myself so much So I'm trying to not compensate overcompensate and do this weird limp because it makes things crooked I'm trying to stay on my toes and I'm like oh every time I ride him Oh, oh, it's making me mad every step is making me matter and I hear Alice and I'm like what you know And it's like is that really you and I'm like yeah, and he's like what are you doing? And I go I have no idea Because I feel like I'm an idiot who walks that far just to get out of a fucking area Just because you know what the fucking what you were uber. I don't have them ah idiot Should have just spent the money on the uber all kinds of thoughts like that it turns out this guy His wife and his daughters is a fan.
What are the odds? this Windy road that goes up a hill This guy's driving up it and he sees Jason I was and goes I love Jason I was I came to the celebrity golf tournament to meet celebrities and holy shit. There's a celebrity He thinks I'm a celebrity His wife freaks out and gets in the back with the kids the kids freak out that I'm me They drive me to the casino 15 minutes they took off my hip Saved me want to take photos They think I'm cool made it made their day made my day Also conflicting You know what are the odds that a person would give a shit about me walking down a road and I don't have the money for an uber Yeah Right there I go walking around I eat I got a coffee that was the other thing I needed coffee Then I go walk to the beach because apparently there's a beach by the lake and And I get to the beach and it says $30 to go into the beach. I can't do it I can't it also didn't look like it was packed and I was like I'm not giving you $30 I just broke my hip not spending money on a uber if you think you're getting 30 bucks for me So that I can stand around with a bunch of fat people you're out of your mind So I walk off again a little pouty you know a little like 30 bucks nothing I'm like did you fucking see you do not you do not spend any money here you you do the job get the money bring it home Like you are hustling right now wait, you know I mean when things get better then you then then do that but right now like I said man I can't go down the middle.
I gotta be on I gotta be like down here or up on the top shining That's the it's the only way I can do it. I can't justify it. I can't justify buying anything Except food for the cats dogs and girlfriend. That's it So I keep walking and I go there's like these Tourist doors with like the bicycles and shit people can rent bicycles and I saw the Three wheeler car and I was like I want how much that is to rent and now I'm now I'm doing a little I'm diving into what I would do if I was still Big time so black I'll take the three you mean the convertible three wheel car and I just drive around the mountain all weekend Whoo, I'll go to all the skate parks and I looked at it and it was a thousand dollars for one day Right when I saw that I was like yeah, wow now.
I'm not willing to spend $40 on a uber We're definitely not doing $998 for a fucking whatever and fuck that car anyway But I'm walking off and someone goes Alice and I'm like yeah, and it's the two guys that worked there And they're like is that really you and I think so and they're like no way man What you doing here cool? I was like I was gonna go the beaches 30 bucks I was like fuck that and he's like there's other beaches further the road outside man I've been walking for two hours this morning my hip is killing me. He's like take one of the bikes made for free I'm like a joke at me. So don't man fucking have it so again Recognized out of nowhere I get a ride down to the fucking casino Then I get a fucking free bicycle to ride And then I'm walking past a restaurant and these two couple of the dogs come over and they're huge fans And I'm like dude Tahoe.
There's no one of the odds. You know people kind of know me I don't know what that sounded like just there might be a bit douchey, but it was surprising I go to the beach of beaches packed. I go further down Then I find it clear for now like scaled down this cliff thing and I find the water in the water. That's what I'm doing But anyway getting back to uh I don't know where this happened or why it happened, but People have been messaging me about the cratum thing maybe probably because of the podcast that came out Um, and I got a lot of messages about some pretty scary stuff A screen captain and then I posted it as a real on instagram Wow, did I start a shit frenzy when it came to that?
Most people very grateful people ask if I help how do I how do you quit? How do you get off it all that kind of stuff? So obviously I'm trying to help them as much as I can Uh when it comes to like fuck you works for me. Good for you, man I don't think you want I think it seems like you're tricking because I don't I'm happy for you You know if you drink beer and it works.
I'm happy for you if you smoke wait. I'm happy for you It's a weird thing, you know, like if someone goes, hey man Alcohol can be dangerous watch out and somebody that like drinks every day and then goes fuck you bro It's like the only reason you're saying that is because you're tricking the only reason you're tricking is because you got a problem And you're in denial But I'm going to Utah tomorrow for vertilirt and all this cratum talk Had been realized that three years ago I went to vertilirt I'm gonna say this I was gonna meet somebody In my hotel and they were late And they were gonna be even later and I was like that's fine It's only practice tomorrow anyway, and this is when I had all in every intention to skate with This was before I made that backside 45 40 where I had in my mind I was still doing hook versus book podcasts and I was gonna try and do a backside 540 at vertilirt in the legends demo I've been skating a little bit with Tony Still doing cratum to stay up. I did some more cratum. This is back before I realized What it was And the only reason I know this or the date or remember it is because it was at vertilirt and vertilirt is this weekend So it's all like full circle me I stay up late I wake up early to go to the ramp to practice because I'm trying to really practice because I know that I'm the announcer But if I get my legs warmed up, maybe I can warm up a little bit Tony even said oh I'll emcee when you try the five like we talked about it.
I get up early. I go to the ramp I think I'd taken maybe two rides I uh, I lock up on a body jar. That's all I remember The wheels hit the deck and it rolled me into a front flip And I dove head first 13 foot high vert ramp head first and I landed on the top of my head Like I've never done that slam before this was a slam where I Things went bad and I didn't know and when it got worse, I made no adjustments I just fell head first laying on the top of my head knocked myself out out out And did something really bad to my neck like stuffed it. I mean like I hit my head I'm 220 dude.
I fell 13 foot. I'm 220 pounds and I landed on my head without my hands I just landed on the top of my head with my 220 pound body over the top of it And my neck was injured for over a year like I can still feel it for over a year That I had done something to my neck that was pretty bad Which means I almost broke my neck. I never got an x-ray or an MRI But obviously like I mean if I'm moving then that's great news, but I don't think I broke my neck But I think I did so I seriously injured it and I think uh, you know a little bit more weight this way or that way or whatever I broke my neck. I could be in a wheelchair.
I could be dead I announced the weekend I was not really home that whole day the next day I was kind of there but not really Never really thought about it at the time. I was like, you know, you're old. You've lost your step That's that not I am So high that I don't know where I'm going and that what I'm doing right now at this age on that amount of drugs is Insane and so dangerous And then that made me remember Because of the post that I've done About you know because people like you it's not that hard to quit and if you do the m7 or whatever you mean there's different Freedom you do the bad one. I'm like did Fuck off, right like I did the powder.
I've done the pills. I've done the shots. I've done them all Like you if you do if you do a tablespoon before you go to bed then fine once again We're talking about if you have a beer after dinner probably fine, you know I'm not talking about everybody talking about people that have addictive personalities, you know But all I know is when I tried to quit the first time I secretly started doing it again could admit it to anybody Then I was like, right. That's it.
We're doing it And people when people ask me I'm doing this I'm winning off and what should I do and I'm like, you know I did it cold turkey. How could you do a cold turkey like I can't talk or I can't eat and I can't sleep and I'm like I couldn't talk. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat You know, it's like you're making a big deal of it.
I couldn't eat dude I couldn't sleep you're making it up. It's big. I I'm not making it up I I I was doing this for three days sweating With the hit freezing and sweating covered in blankets I'd sleep for like two hours in height Crazy pain body aches nausea stomach in knots Shit in blood You know, that's why I'm saying it Who do you think I could you got a no? I'm not getting paid to do this I'm just like if I die tomorrow and I didn't tell somebody one person that could help not do it or help get him off it You know if your buddy if your buddy owns your crate good for them good for you Suck their ass.
I don't care I'm trying to help people And it's pissing me off at this point because I forget but after answering all these messages I now remember like yesterday that it was fucking insane I am fucking a lot of war to be here and not be on it right now You know, it's like you people that don't have addicted personalities you piss on people, you know You think it's not you're like, yeah, just fucking suck at the other big deal is You haven't been molested by a bunch of people when you're a kid You have your fucking parents die in front like you ever have people don't realize that other people have really bad shit Happened to them and they start running and they don't know how to stop running You know All the things life death bankruptcy love broken hearts. You know me. I got no legs my legs got blown off You know what it's like. I don't I don't know what it's like to be black I don't know what it's like to be gay a little bit I don't know what it's like to be trans sort of fucking make fun of if you don't know I mean listen funny joke, but if you're sincerely like fuck that guy because of what it is You're a bitch most of your bitches.
I see you on the streets fucking cheese eating slow motherfuckers I'll tell you in half all of you They're always numbing you're always beautiful good game fucking cheese fucking fat everyone's fucking lazy everyone fucking quits everything You'll think you're that shit. You'll think you're so shit hot What have you done? What is your resume? Fuck out of here.
I'm not trying to tell anybody down. I'm trying to tell you that some people It's very hard to get out of it. You know people that reach out to me like how do I get sober? How do I do this stuff?
That's the only reason I'm doing it. I'm trying to help them. Oh Fucking mental health depression. Just fucking cheer up shut the fuck up.
You know nothing John Snow You know I did this for four days Where I knew that the one thing that would fix it would be another dose of cratum And I didn't do it And then for 36 days, you know I don't say 32 days or 35 or 40 because it was 36 days On the 37th day I felt like I could be happy for no reason and stop rocking back and forth And maybe just maybe if I keep going Life will be okay 36 days 40 if you count the first four 40 days Doesn't seem that big of a deal do it Do 40 days Where you're going out of your fucking mind your skin's crawling Come at me and tell me this fucking shit's not that big of a deal If I can prevent one person from going through that because here's the other thing I know I've been good at stuff I know I could beat it. I've beaten things before so I had that thing in my heart in my mind Where I was like you could beat this Jason But my body Everything in me was like you can't beat this dude. Just get some more creative. Maybe do less, you know At least smoke weed But I want it to be better You know, these are all things God gave me my heart given out I got a bad I mean I've had heart upper surgery like a thing you could die Your heart goes into AF you get an electric kid you could fucking die You're probably gonna die early Wait, how much longer are you gonna be here?
Can you do something great? Can you be something good before you disappear on this earth? You know, you just keep thinking you're gonna make it and it keeps going on and on And you just fight your fucking life away until there's the end And you're like, oh fuck I wish I had a well, I'm not doing that I'm doing stuff I'm gonna be something positive before the lights go out in me I am getting aggressive right now Fuck it I'm fucking alive I'm fucking sober I can help people Can you? Someone's reaching me, I should talk to the fucking owners of freedom The fuck for?
Some dude that owns Crayam's gonna tell me the fucking benefits Great Benefit yourself I'm not trying to make it illegal I'm just warning you You know, if I chip away at it And it's not the shit stuff or whatever it's not even liquor stores Or you have to be fucking 21 to get it Good, good You wanna come at me? Come at me I'll give you my fucking address You can come right at me Well that's okay You know what I mean I'm not scared I don't sweat any of you For anything I will die being of service What I do in my day now I'm so crazy You know I'm still a crazy person But like how I see things How I see the world It's painful You know, ignorance is bliss I understand How it works I mean not completely but a lot It's painful to know And sometimes the devil gets in my head And it's like just run You know, think of the worst thing ever So that you can really understand That it's probably time to switch off again And then I come to my senses Because God tells me You're here to do something You're here to do something good So keep going I'm here to make people laugh And I'm here to fuck you up Crate them You know, this is my war And it's on I don't know who else I'm gonna fight But right now You're my bitch I'm coming for you I'm gonna keep posting about it Come at me Try and give me a cease and assist or something Fuck you You know Fuck tobacco Fuck alcohol Fuck cheese Motherfucker You know Fuck processed food You know Fuck you You're taking my people Because we're all the same You know The trees, the animals The people The air, the water The fishies We're all the same And all this other shit Makes you slow And foggy, you know You're like a goldfish And a cloudy fish tank You think you're living But you can't really see what's going on And when you get clean And you eat clean Because there's levels to this shit, you know And I'm not saying I'm there I mean, I ain't no fucking Shallin' munk, you know Every now and then I will fuck up a box of donuts But I will also Stay clean You know My brain works in a way where I'm like It's frightening I see it You know You go to the bar You know they get the tacos It's not that good of me But you don't care You're drunk You know what He wants to make your cheese on it You know if you put extra cheese on it The shit mate doesn't taste as shitty You know If you're deep fried The shit mate doesn't taste as shitty You know I don't Blaine I'm on a roll Or arguably not on a roll And I don't care I'm doing something But I've put in the work, you know And I've been on the other side You know I've seen photos of me when I'm in my My fucking 20s In my 20s And I look worse then than I do now How can 27 year old Jason look worse than 53 year old Jason? I'll tell you why Because he's drinking and doing drugs And it's you know And some of you can have a beer And it's fine And that's great You know I get it You get that little buzz You know you watch your fucking game And it feels better You're more involved Watching the game But You know I see the other side of things I see you know I'm gonna bar the other day And there's a girl next to me And there's a guy here And there's two other girls over there And the guy's talking to the girls He ain't doing anything inappropriate But this girl doesn't like that This guy isn't paying attention to him She's a little older And she's been around the block a few more times And she's a little self conscious of it And then she calls him a Tahoe fuckboy And he goes I'm not from Tahoe And she goes well you're still a fuckboy And there runs a little uncomfortable about it The guy gets up and leaves Because this lady has called him a fuckboy In front of the other two ladies Now she gets emotional Because she realizes that that was inappropriate The bartender is like that was inappropriate And she's like I'm sorry I've recently had a breakup Maybe your boyfriend was fat lazy and cheated on you Maybe not fat whatever Lazy hadn't worked on himself enough Or you were like You probably called him a fuckboy I don't know But for whatever reason you are now alone And how do you handle it? You drink yourself stupid at a bar on a fucking Friday These two girls come over and console her For calling an innocent civilian a fuckboy Like imagine if I called a chick a fuck slut Because she was talking to two dudes How is that appropriate?
Like who do you think you are? Who do like women with the double standard thing You know? This is where I am gonna sound a bit like a Republican Shut the fuck up Don't tell innocent people That they're fuckboys When you don't know who the fuck they are And you're blacked out like a retard You know? She ends up fucking Don't just stay finished you be the lady Say finish you be here and she finishes her Fucking beer and then she storms off To go back to her apartment And cry her fucking life away Because she is drunk all the time Running from whatever the original pain was She will never face it Because she will always stay high She will always keep running She could Quit drinking By any means I don't care Do a meeting Don't do a meeting I did meetings that seemed to help I've done sobriety I'm 53 I've tried to be sober Maybe fucking 50 fucking times And it failed But this one time I went I got sponsored at the steps Somebody was there They helped me And now I don't seem to be able I seem pretty fucking good With it Not just I don't just go I don't drink anymore I'm very happy With not drinking I don't want to I don't want to cloud myself I don't want to be the fish in the cloudy tank Ever again I love seeing reality This reality stings sometimes Fuck yeah But I know why You know?
Like the same thing Walking down the hill My hips giving air This fucking money is going to pay off This person that fucking hates me And if really they were nice They'd be like You know what? Fuck them Just keep your fucking money You're fucking broke from paying me anyway But no And that's not her fault She's worried about what you're She didn't I don't know what she's going to do Later on I don't know what it's like To be in her shoes You'd be like I don't know what I'm going to I'm not a radio I'm not a comedian I'm a skateboarder Who the fuck do I know? What the chick's coming in Fucking five years She's got enough to worry about But I don't run from it I hit myself with this uncool for Not even real realistic thing That Oh no No no Coo-hoo-hoo-hoo It's just evil Trying to make you feel bad Trying to give you a reason to run again Not run Face it It is what it is Use it You know? God is testing me And I will prevail I will keep working I will do comedy tonight To my best To the best of my ability And I will shine A lot of people said to me that night Man, I can't believe I've never heard of you You are one of the best comedians I've ever seen Is he a comedy critic?
No Did he sincerely say that? And did he mean it? Yeah, he did I do believe that Just some dude He didn't know who I was I am good I do have a skill I have a skill Because I have a drive And I have a passion And I fucking am not playing I mean I'm not playing At playing I want it And I am willing to do Anything To get it And that's how you all should be With everything you do And if you don't Don't bitch about it Because it's your fucking fault It's your fault And cut corners All in With everything Sacrifice Everything For what you want How much money would you need right now To feel a little bit of relief Not total relief Just a bit You know there's a certain amount of credit card debt So if that was paid off That would be some relief And it is an astronomical amount And then there's the money that I owe My ex No we're near as much but still So that if that was gone That's it That's really it You know I just Those two things I pay Every month And because I pay it I have no money And it's Irritating You know I work all the time You know I just got off a plane I'm washing my clothes And I'm getting back on a plane And it's kind of cool To be on planes It's kind of cool But a lot of them Involve things where I'd be like Man I'm really tired You know Like that's the other thing Being on the road when you're 25 It's cool Being on the road when you're 53 You know Like I train That's the other thing I'm like working people out I'm like trying I get 100 bucks an hour To hold mitts for people You know Like if I was If I didn't owe money I probably wouldn't do it I mean I do like doing it But when I'm really tired I'd be like You know Because you're gonna think ahead Like man you keep doing that You're gonna be sold tomorrow You're gonna be tired You're gonna You know And I'm like I gotta do it Gotta go You know So those are the You know like the Uber Or the fucking beach Or the fucking you know Like eat I'm not gonna go I'm not gonna eat You know Like I got my beef jerky You know So those are the You know so I don't know Probably uh Let's see I don't know how much I owe I should probably figure that out I guess I just don't wanna uh I don't wanna know Because I know it's not Good I know it's a number where I'm like Oh Fuck that's a long time You know Probably I don't wanna say Nothing to anybody here can fix You know I'll get out of it man I'll get out of it You know I got skills man I work hard I love you for asking Because it seems like you care You know I love you for that I'm gonna Come wait for the show in Utah If you need anything Um I got you I don't have social media anymore For you Thomas Uh Blaine Listen to me talk about the struggles that you have It's always inspiring huh You pick yourself up and push through We'll see you again better every day I'll be there to support you In Atlantic City If you happen to be coming too Look here Uh Happy Monday, Jason Dick Dick Nick Love you Ellis Great part today Thank you Thank you everybody that listens If uh People listen to this as a podcast I do have a patreon and the patreon is There you go If anybody does listen to this as a podcast The free podcast If they go to my patreon That's patreon.com.com. And they subscribe That helps You know If you wanna donate $50,000 I don't even know if I could accept it I mean I know that's a ridiculous thing to say But I don't even know if I would Accept it You know Like I I dug this hole There's nobody to blame You know I don't think that You know I wasn't really trying I feel like I knew I would do this Where I would say like Wait, I don't wanna break You know I dug this hole I'll get out of it You know I'm just trying to get you to understand that like There is struggles Everybody goes through struggles And sometimes when you go through struggles If you can see the gift in it Nothing can stop you You know And I think what I was trying to say Because it's still um It's still fresh wounds You know But the but the but the The struggle is You know when these things hit me In a way where I'm trying to explain you That like things hit me in a way where I'm like What's the point anymore?
Like I'm trying to tell you I'm walking down that hill And that shit hit me I laughed out loud I was like Oh wow Because I was kind of laughing at How sick my brain is for God You know that's like a week Right and I was like Dude And then I I felt the the sorrow Hit my face Where I was like I'm gonna drop right now And ball my eyes out In the bushes In a other hilltop Because I can't get out You know I got so much further to go I'm not making it I'm not chain killers Nobody's I'm not selling out anywhere There's no big Thing coming down the fucking Just you know you ain't gonna movie you're gonna deal But it's good It's good for me to feel that You know Because at the end of the day When I feel this This fear And this hardship What do I do? You know I get up And I go And when I get my shot I do my best I give it everything I've got And I could have bombed Every night And I'd still be here telling you You don't give up You know But I think also It made me realize I'm a little tired when I do shows I'm a little worried about how you're gonna perceive me And when I said to myself Last night I don't give a fuck It's in my heart I love this and I'm giving it everything I've got You can fucking not like it if you don't If you want to That's fine But I am not I'm not changing it for you I'm doing what I believe I'm a good man I've got good intentions I'm gonna tell me I'm here And it lasts takes before I piss off Oh it's the guy that came to the show last night And I hit the marker And it bled everywhere Shit Sorry Uh wait Wait I guess I didn't hit the sand on the last one Oops Oh well How are you doing? Keep clicking your tail and tail and jugs Hopefully you see you in Ontario in the fall Yep I will hopefully we'll be there Alright everybody Love you guys Remember? Don't give up And try harder You know Be better Because I see you I'm out there Looking You could be better You can take that anywhere you want Fuck me Fuck you You could be better We could all be better Wake up Get cracking Don't die