Jealousy and the Illusion Of Safety In Relationships with Dr. Joli Hamilton, Ph.D.

This episode of Laid Open Podcast features guest Dr. Joli Hamilton, Ph.D., a research psychologist, relationship coach and founder of 'The Year of Opening.' Together, we discuss the challenges and opportunities of non-monogamous relationships, the importance of creating custom relationship dynamics, and the primal value of jealousy… because jealousy isn't always a bad thing.  Dr. Joli also shares insights on the fluid nature of attachment styles, the complexity of jealousy, and her own experiences with non-monogamous relationships. Listeners can expect to learn about the importance of agreements, navigating jealousy, and the concept of internalized polyphobia. Our conversation provides a deep dive into conscious relationship building and the nuances of managing evolving relationship needs. We also touch on the fluidity of attachment styles, the process of navigating differing desires between partners, and how cultural and personal backgrounds influence relationship dynamics. Dr. Hamilton also introduces her 'Jealousy Roadmap' as a tool for understanding and managing jealousy–a must for anyone who's ever felt jealous and been made to feel bad about it. 00:00 Introduction to the Guest: Dr. Joli Hamilton 00:38 Exploring Jealousy and Eroticizing It 02:38 The Concept of Non-Monogamy 03:28 Creating Safety in Relationships 05:01 The Importance of Agreements 09:20 Attachment Styles and Relationship Dynamics 12:17 Navigating Non-Monogamy and Polyamory 18:43 Internalized Polyphobia and Cultural Norms 23:32 Seeking Validation and Understanding in Relationships 24:14 The Challenge of Conscious Awareness 24:57 Navigating Consent Violations and Unconscious Slips 25:37 The Complexity of Holding Deep Work in Relationships 26:01 Commitment to Loving and Creating Resonant Relationships 26:41 Sexual Trauma and Differing Needs in Relationships 27:34 Midlife Crises and Changing Relationship Dynamics 28:50 Exploring Sexual Autonomy and Freedom 29:59 The Importance of Slowing Down in Relationship Transitions 32:25 Desire Discrepancies and Non-Monogamy 34:01 Understanding and Embracing Jealousy 41:44 The Jealousy Roadmap and Relationship Customization 46:42 Conclusion and Resources for Further Learning