From the pitch to the stands to communities around the world the beautiful game is coming to our beautiful country Uniting fans around a shared passion now you have the opportunity to hold this chapter of Canadian soccer history in the palm of your hands Score the FIFA World Cup 2026 one dollar coin today. Look forward in your change You're a fatty lady party party party for the party like she's funny So yeah, she's hot and you're not supposed to be you know You're supposed to do hot chicks through yeah, but she's a comedian right so she breaks that back She's on stage going off Oh, this totally move it where they prove it Not that we get back I got the yer my balls are a fire You're ready to take us to the top Welcome to the show Did you know that your mom is a smelly knife? Probably not even bad Don't be a bad mom. Thank you Almost played my old outro We were gonna leave before we got here So I apologize to everybody that I don't have a smoke machine I just realized that not having a smoke machine has probably made it pretty difficult to listen to that intro So I apologize.
We've been fighting with one arm behind our back this whole entire day Yeah, it's like our cowbell we need more smoke machine man, but we will yeah So next episode look for the smoke machine then obviously my my vocals will rise because everybody's rises in a smoke machine That's gonna how that goes, which is why I've made a huge mistake and I apologize. I don't know why anyone's listening Apparently they're not Just to make a lose those here. So she still likes me. Well, I'm gonna leave because there's no smoke machine I see up.
I was promised a smoke machine. No, you won't I was did you promise? I was I was my machine. I may have promised you a smoke machine and I arrived in guess what?
No smoke machine. I mean I've got it. It's gonna take a minute I could I could turn it on after the show burning burning food on the stove does not count as a smoke machine I've got it tea will steam suffice Tea that's like a gentlest smoke machine. I was like a smoking for a 90 year old woman.
Yeah It's a pleasant smoke machine for sure. I feel like I think of can of me I'm like a murder she wrote pyrotechnics. I messes up. I was gonna say the F word.
I just answered myself why oh Cuz it says on the wall a giant sign don't say the look my favorite word don't say spaghetti because we don't eat that here I'm gonna have to look like you need to eat spaghetti, you know, yes If you don't eat spaghetti will you die? Oh absolutely wait if you don't eat spaghetti ever again, you'll die You're being raised against your people right now. You just see when you say that you hear yourself in the face We need a slow mo of that for the promo. You probably can you be going oh?
There now does it feel better now we look like a band that is going nowhere you guys come check us out We're gonna be in Rockin vfw hauls Portland we are gonna be in which one Oregon. Oh, that's that's dangerous Jason Els show is gonna be there good one That fits that's a good that's a good stand up there And I'm guessing on other people shows and I'm going to the skate park to skate with some comedians that skate and definitely some That's it's there as well because it's but inside you know that's I don't know burn side, but maybe I've been there Didn't realize that's what it was it's a concrete skate park under a bridge in Portland. Oh, that sounds hard to miss Pretty famous sounds like you would know exactly what that was if you were there and I would have no reason nothing against that Sounds fun, but it's pretty famous like it's in I think it's in Tony Hall Pro skater Like it's a legendary skate park that skaters build oh cool Like you know cancels not doing nothing and bunch of core do's like so what and just started laying down transitions up against these pylons and Now it's like a total giant skate path. It's actually pretty decent.
Well, not it's really good people love it You said a bunch of skate words that I don't know, but they sound it sounds like it's fun. There's I use it you didn't get I don't know what that sounds like a snake. It's not a skate word That's a bridge word a pylon. I never heard that Like what's the thing that holds the bridge up big concrete pylon, right?
I would call it a pole stick Technical term is a pylon. Yeah, okay. I never heard that before so thank you for that Yeah, I wonder if that's something to do with skateboarding because no Pretty dirty bit. Yeah, that's not where we live.
It's a football term It's a lot of I could think of three different ways you'd use it none of them anything to do I'm just an affinity would you use it in a stadium like with the pylons be holding the stadium football You know when they when they when they smoke machine pylons I know you know where the big touchdown and there's those orange things standing right by the entrance of the yeah Yeah, I think that's called a pylon right that's what they know when everybody jumps on top of somebody a pylon That's a pile on that's a pile on I'm hearing a pile on okay. That's a pile on. That's a cone. That's a witch's hat I'm gonna be cleared everything up In Australia Google witches hat and everything means something different in Australia Yeah, there's this I was Different in every country that's true.
Well, it's fun ones. I feel it's getting ruined though Why because social media everybody knows what everybody does do you think there's an over Connectivity and a negativity to the over connectivity I think there's a negativity to be in attached to the world because of how many people like the ratio of happy people versus Unhappy people, you know, you just get bombarded with bitter angry jealous people that are jealous of somebody else pretending to be this thing that is you either successful and you're taking Fosie a face and how cool your car is you're not that happy I've met you you're not some of you are but I've also met people that have no money and don't take photos of their face They're also just as content It's more like how you adjusted to life. It's not really has nothing to do with that other thing But because of that other thing social media and all that stuff is just people showing their worst side So it's like if I move to Australia and I find out that you call it a witches hat and a napkin is a Serviette Serviette it's like you now that you're all linked on social media dick has rubbed on you and now you're a dick because everyone's like Well, it's probably blue You know, it's just so many people that break down what everybody else is because they're bitter that you know Kim Kardashian doesn't really seem like she's that talented and it looks like she's the queen of like America And that probably makes Jimmy that you know eats ramen noodles pretty pissed So when they can photo their face with a car in the background, you know, that's that's nobody's really positive about that Like what you've done for what you had a chance of getting that's pretty cool. No, it's more like stuff Show me your cool shit because you've been raised in a society of bitterness.
Everybody's bitter Maybe it would be beneficial if instead of doing what we sort of do as like a societal norm take introducing somebody when you introduce somebody to Somebody new it's always with the greatest attributes. This is Jason He's got a great podcast. Oh, well accomplished even the Portland Go to the skate park and I was like I'm cool to go to the skate park But I don't want you guys to announce that Jason's gonna be at the skate park like everybody should come see Jason free skateboard talents I'm 51 and those talents have diminished and I don't want that pressure and I don't feel like it's right for the real guys For me to show up at Burnside like hey go around Jason up like no dude You had your time gather around like several other guys that are there that are gonna be way better than me I don't want it's not justified And I don't want it and I also don't like that you show up to the skate park where you're special like I had my time I am gonna show up like I'm special you can okay lead me to the pylons Where the show me to the pylon hide in the corner with a hoodie on and just cruising around not trying to do that because I have my time Just you what's what is your greatest athletic skill or feet? I'm really good at pop shot at David Bosters.
Thank you I thought she was gonna say something else for sure. Yeah, what I don't know I feel like you Pop shot is my cap of my athletic ability in my athleticism. I feel like looking at you you like my gun I like it when you say that you could have gone What I look at you I think just funny. I feel like you could have gone to states and volleyball If you told me that I would believe you all right terrible at volleyball Yeah, she'd be good at what's that one when you throw the sack onto that board with the hole in it?
Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna go to Australia. I probably has a little play call bottom. What's it called in Australia? You guys don't play Cornell lame.
Okay. Well, they called it sack hole I think the country word drinking is a sport I would think day sports are fun like cornhole. That's a day sport for day drinkers Do you don't do the are you sure that they don't do all the little show solo cups and everything now? No, I'm not sure throwing ping pong balls in there.
Yeah, that seems like a vibe I feel just peed in their own mouths or something are you checking your emails check some messages for the show? Oh, what are they saying people are listening to the show watching a slide right now? I figured that's what happens when people are watching life. There's interaction.
What are the people saying? They just want to see our band. Do you just want to send some love? Oh, that's sweet.
That's real sweet people try to Fix things that can't be fixed. Well The good attributes that people should introduce with their worst attributes because there's less to live up to for example I'm just a maple loo, so yeah, you do it. Tell me what you just be honest. What are my worst Oh, man, that's way more stressed than doing me.
Why why is it see that's the problem? I got it. That's why we're unhappy. I'll tell you what's wrong with you when I look at you what No, no, it's like worst attributes.
You're a party lady party. Yeah, party for the party Like she's funny, so yeah, she's hot and you're not supposed to be you know, you're supposed to do hot chicks through Yeah, but she's a comedian, right so she breaks that bat. She's on stage going on You know things but and you know she says disgusting This is what I look like what I'm the most disgusting thing that I can try and look like is you try to shove her chin in the back of her neck and make Yourself look hideous. That's not what a pretty girl usually does.
Yeah, and depending on who you are I know dudes where that would be Not cool, but for me, you know, I'm a weird guy So I'm like well, I don't even know if it's a weird guy I feel like you're confident like I feel like a pretty girl that doesn't want to put her face and I think that doesn't look perfect It's an insecure lady. Yeah, and you are just like you have she has a bit where she's like She's like I can't remember all guys but in the end she's selling herself with this she starts Like she's crawling around like a creature making this weird You have this impression. Yes, it's pretty spot on she walks around Like a wounded seagull or something That's that's confidence I like that because to me That's the opposite of like do you ever see a girl take like 35 selfies of herself? Yeah, she takes one and that one wasn't right and she doesn't know that you're watching her Take yourself be with one of those people and then they make you redo it over and over again Honestly, I tell pointing out you what is wrong in each photo.
I can't I can honestly say no. Yeah, you haven't had to do that with a friend Okay, hang out with selfie people, but I did I don't know I'm a bumper sticker I may or may not have heard I heard my first robust fart. I've ever heard from my wife this morning. You did wow I'm breaking stuff.
Why did we start with this? I can't start with the fire. I'm a smoke machine It just threw me off. Yeah, I'm fully discombobeyed.
No the first loud one that I heard Katie do it's different I don't you didn't try to think here's a thing because the kids just like We just we the kids are allowed to come into bed with us But they have to like sleep first and sometimes that means they come in at five in the morning And sometimes that means they show up at 12 30 But the daughter more than my son who's older now But when I woke up this morning, there was four of us in my bed Wow, it sounds fun and I thought I was the it's so good never gets old I Thought I was the only one who was awake and then I heard like a proper whoa And I find it hard to believe that my daughter would be capable I think she could it's possible my son definitely could but we're pretty much already down to two suspects And I was like I could call it out and go okay, somebody's got to own that But I was like but I think I know who did it and I'd rather live in oblivion So did you not I never I never asked I have to assume that was her is there a clicking sound? There's some very faint backgroundy stuff. I mean that was a plane you heard that right hold for plane can't hold for plane It's constant. We live under where they take off.
It's constant. There's an air traffic controller on their It's the same sounds like those air traffic controllers are asleep. It's insane Happening yeah, I feel like this is people complaining that the audio is clicking, but I don't hear it I hear nothing. I don't hear anything either It could just be like there's so many links in the chain of audio that it might be happening after it leaves here and goes out on YouTube It's the only one but maybe he's just constantly letting little farts out.
Yeah, maybe there's some mouse clicking Maybe he's got a Babadook He wants to stop because of the clicking I mean that would be annoying if you had incessant clicking in your head Be terrible if you had a Bob dook in your closet. Don't we all kind of a Bob dook in our closet might have a Bob dook on the show Theoretically mmm you might have a Bob dook on the show mm-hmm like soon or right now. It might be Bob a dooked. Oh shoot That's no good.
Yeah, I don't know unless it's just like a Kevin fan or something everyone else doesn't hear the clicking But I guess you should probably quit you know I like click you like what I actually prefer my podcast extra clicky I like your shoes. Thank you very much. These are the ones I wear every single day because they're comfortable. Yeah, it makes sense it's interesting to try and Feel it this weather in LA.
You've been working out. Yeah, yeah Slim huh, no, I'm still a thing. You look like like Whitney Cummings has I saw her at a roast And I was I'd met her before and then I saw the roast and I was like holy shit You got shredded getting shredded is like and once again another thing that I respect from girls and guys because it's one thing to be in shape But to be shredded you really go in the extra mile and there's sacrifice in shredded I don't know many people. I do know a couple people in MMA that they just eat like fucking fast food Oh, and they just have a pack no matter what they do.
Yeah, I've met a couple of those But most of us are you know if you have a snack at night, you're gonna not have abs in the morning You reap what yourself. Yeah, but you look like you've really because you were already You know not fat anyway, but you look like you've really leaned out you running or something. No, I actually it's I'm so shredded I I am in looser clothing. So every time I wear loose clothing people ask if I've dropped weight or if I'm Slimmer, but I've literally weighed the same and I've been the same since I was 17 I'm convinced I have a tape or I'm just not gonna check into it because you might be Go for it.
It's pretty convenient. I wish I had one it's expensive, but it's great for bikini season I don't really eat that much right now. So I'm losing weight. I got hurt So I can't work out and I really sleep that much or eat and it's been pretty good.
I'm looking a little leaner every day Yeah, there are french benefits to just a little bit too intense depression. Yeah, yeah The gym and you still look good in the morning that is I can get down with that. Yeah, I've been sad skinny before Who needs you an ox just get depressed. Yeah, I found out I got a membership to Gold's gym in Venice.
You just got one or you have I've had it for the last three years. I didn't know Have you been paying into that 60 bucks a month? Oh, I'm surprised. It's not double that man.
What do they do with the money? They must like put it into the tents that are surrounding that gym. I feel like I was supposed to make it which is totally fair There's a tent just surrounding there about it. It's not supposed to work out there.
Yes. Yes. He does he still goes He walked into a restaurant I was at R&D kitchen on Montana in Santa Monica and he walked in a different way. We just had this aura about him Yeah, that man is he's magical.
You can just feel it emanating off of him. Yeah, agreed No, Cath would seize him all the time. Cath would Mike Cath would had met him as a child from his dad taking him to the gym and then Every year they do some charity thing and Arnold always talks to him. And Arnold's vegan, isn't he?
I think he's vegan. He might be one of those people who like edged in that direction I feel like that's not all that uncommon for simply 70 plus celebrities Especially if you if you ate meat and did steroids for 30 years your body needs a break And I feel like it depends on who you are what you're looking to show your body to do But as far as I can tell when you get older and you're trying to duck cancer and stuff You if you're not plant based you're kind of you kind of don't care because it's pretty obvious to me I've got doctor friends that have their hands under x-ray machines every day all day and a lot of them get skin and hand cancer from being under the x-ray and This guy plant based hundred percent swears on it will not Dodger in any way make smoothies and all that stuff and doesn't have cancer and these friends have died in front of him because of it because of their Hands being under there for so long. There might be something to it But I also know that Arnold Schwarzenegger has pet ponies and I think that's what keeps a cancer. Donkey is a donkey and they eat food together I mean what else you gonna do with your donkey I see him have a sandwich and then the donkey had some of the sandwich and then they kissed while they were having a sandwich at the table Yeah, open mouth kiss a donkey.
I like that guy. Don't you ride around? They are I would have a donkey if I was like 70 and rich I would have I would love to have all the animals in my backyard Yeah, I got a bunch of animals and he rides around on a scooter in his backyard chasing his little pony or donkey or whatever It is he's got a couple of them someone says body hurt is perfect and it's nice to see you in good spirits. Howdy ho did he do?
Audio is perfect. Yeah, Blaine says doesn't hear anything everyone else says it's fine So I hate to say it bruh, but it might be you unplug your headphones blowing the hole I can man, but he might be you might be right saying something like not everybody's got it Why every now and then there's a link that's that's not doing him any justice. It's entirely possible. It's not us man We fixed it maybe your connection bro.
Yeah, maybe you've got a weak connection Safer Ontario means more police and prosecutors making sure my card doesn't get stolen it means building new jails to keep criminals behind bars And it means there's no need to worry when I play at the park We're making every corner of Ontario safer to make all of Ontario safer. That's how we protect Ontario for all of us Learn how an Ontario dot CA slash safer Ontario pay for by the government of Ontario Yeah, people love the yep. They run loves the audio. It's great wolf knife shaft driver from the birds love your big daddy J's cakes and jesome Spaghetti you telly spaghetti.
Yeah, yeah, that's fair. Spaghetti you. Yeah, what's that? What's the backstory on that?
I thought I just invented it with you don't say spaghetti. Oh, I see that's what we were saying So spaghetti is the interchangeable swimmers. Yes. Don't say spaghetti.
I am gonna like Not you jesome, but somebody's listening out your mother. I'm gonna be I'm gonna spaghetti Living bajingos out of her bajingos. You know those sound fun right? Yeah, I don't know what bajingos are I know what a pylon is now Or a pile on let's pull let's pull the people and don't lie you know people like to act like they know Yes, beyond it.
You know what a pylon was and maybe because this is your audience. They're like yeah, bro Fucking boy. Are you making fun of my are you making fun of my Are you making fun of my accent Listen spaghetti face. Are you making fun of me?
Katie and I always I can connect with Katie's I'll film it I salated please and thank you. I spaghettied up. I'm sorry I Wear smiley socks does that out that was big given as sing as how we can't see them someone says a pylon is a cone Okay, thank you. Oh wait what I so weird I defined it four different ways, and I think every single one of them was wrong Yeah, I've ever been this wrong.
I'm still with either. I'm kind of so what they say if there's apparently a secret concrete Okay, it's a thing that holds up power lines. Thank you. Oh wait.
What's the thing next to it? That's like an ancient Egyptian pylon piece of architecture. It is also I told you I don't think you told us anything. I said be concrete.
I don't see either of those holding up I think you speak any up to just admit it. It's okay. We can't all know everything our brains are I know what a pylon is. I don't know everything I know what a pylon is and that is a building that has concrete pylons holding it up So I am right You could easily put some concrete up against the pylon and make transition and then you can skate it okay, all right Look live your life.
Do we have a definition? Yes, a usually massive gateway an ancient Egyptian gateway so gateway so I think out of the seven guesses in this room are all over one So I want to make sure that my questioning of what that was wasn't out of the realm of possibilities I didn't even think we were just looking at a picture of an ancient gateway. It was a power line No, there was a few power lines and then there was a very ancient gateway Like that looked like the sort of thing you walk through two creatures around the side like never ending story And you don't know if you're gonna survive a tre you style. That's what that looked like those are probably pylons There's also like air traffic stuff that is a pylon.
Yeah, that was none of our guesses A poster tower marking a prescribed course on a flight for a airplane so far from what any of us said wow Yeah, we all had no idea. Huh? I was the one who admitted not knowing what it is everyone else was very sure about they're inaccurate I was confidently incorrect Great title a traffic cone is also on the line. Hey one for one for twenty.
Do you think Jason got that one? No, that was that was a guy No, you said that no sure didn't confidently and would you say confidently incorrect? That's great. That needs to be a memoir title Tina White was confidently incorrect About America's appetite to watch grown men slap each other he won't stop telling everybody that we love it You know that well nobody loves a good slap like Dana White We all know I see why he likes Trump now because he's he's like say that something is yeah, he's like, oh, it's huge You know, I'm like people but everyone else is the numbers are not and he's like, oh, it's never been bigger It's it's awesome.
Yep, my name's not Slappy way. I think it's the most ridiculous I it's I don't believe I'm not trying to get mad at Dana I just like just somebody gets slapped and they get put down and then the other guy gets up and slaps him gets put down What are we what are we doing? I like that I can't go for an hour, right? This is I don't know I thought was domestic abuse charge may as well be so well Then we have that in the case of pain and whiteed arguably ought to have been but we're actually speaking about he slaps both professionally and personally and There's this league that he brought to TVS where like a bunch of videos went viral of like Russian or Russian seeming people Stating there looks like an arm wrestling competition, but instead of just slapping each other so he made power slap and put it on TV and the ratings were I think there's like a hundred and six cable channels now and in the final episode of the season season one of power slap It came in 106th 106 this guy who allegedly also slapped his wife's on video.
Yeah, how okay? We don't think there's this is problematic the worst part about it is he's tying it in with the UFC It'd be different if it was just slap fighting and then everybody's can do whatever they want watch it or not watch it But it's directly in line with UFC one of the announcers of the UFC who was the UFC middleweight champion is the announcer of slap fighting And it's like this is why women will never get true equality because a man slapped his girlfriend and turned it into a career like created It dropped at the same time. I had to delay the first episode for a week or two for the heat to cool off from his It seems a little fishy to me. It seems a little same guy that said females will never fight in the UFC And the female got popular and he signed him all up.
It's the same thing like people continuing to buy Chris Brown's album He slapped me like literally slapped a woman and we are just condoning this behavior He shouldn't be able to have an industry called slap if he slapped his girlfriend. Yeah, not even a suspension didn't do any That's problematic. Yeah, a lot of people think the same thing that you do that are in MMA He sounds like a bitch. Yeah, I mean, I think I think he's just a I don't know him But he's a businessman and sometimes when you're a businessman you have to get down and dirty and I think he likes that I think he can get real mean I think he grew up in a in a world of from what I hear is some mobster kind of lifestyle because he was in boxing promotion first And those are some tough guys.
There's some slimy dudes that will do you dirty in the worst ways imaginable and he's from that So I thought he had this great reputation I don't know much about him But from what I've heard here and what I've kind of read and what has circulated I've never told him he was the nicest guy ever so was Cosby. Yeah, but it just seemed like he also like you know He didn't like Tito back in the day and he hinted. I look I don't know this for sure So it's allegedly but you know data white says you know some fighter champion guy comes to me and tells me he's gay What am I supposed to do with that? I think it was Tito because I know that you know Tito's anti gay because he's a Republican or whatever But I've heard I've heard Tito's a little bit like Jason sometimes and maybe he's grown out of it and got it taken Care of or whatever But I think that at one point he was a little confused maybe from partying and stuff and and Dana was not supportive in anyway He was like you're out of here for saying it.
Oh wow Dana sounds like he might benefit from a camp of sorts. Yeah, I think it was perfect for him What the way he wanted he wants money he wants power and he obviously wants fame and he's got it And he's does he feel does he like find it hard to sleep at night knowing that he screwed people over? I don't think so I don't think he feels like right so I don't so then for him I don't see it being a bad life at all It's just if you're you know if you're his wife that seems like a bit of a bummer sometimes But you also get to go on cool vacations just sometimes when you go on vacation, you know If you argue with him he's gonna slap you around a little bit. Wow if you're cool with that, that's cool too I think the only thing that's would slap you on a vacation she slapped him first she did That sounds like they could use some love well That's the other thing I heard that allegedly he might sleep with a lot of other people and to the point where a lot of other people Know about it So I would assume it wouldn't be too difficult for his wife to know about it So so I think it's probably not as easy as you think I'm just I'm blown away And I'll probably lose sleep over the slap of it all the fact that he has so did he create this he it's already been a sport So he said that it's been a thing it happens in Russia all over the place has been for you I've seen those viral videos He bought one to bring it through the UFC to bring it to the masses and you have he said yeah This is a good idea.
He is the UFC. Oh, that's right. He's all that's okay He's that he is this is all his right and then accidentally at the same time He's he got caught on video slap and his wife right when it was about to come out It was almost like you know, maybe the gods are trying to tell you something You know don't do this because I think he's lost a lot of respect in the MMA community And I know that you know the casual fan which is mainly all of us Not in approval like whenever he posts the slap fighting most of the comments are about how stupid it is. Oh good I'm glad I'm not on the fringe on this one.
Yeah, but some you know they're making a mistake There are people that are like hell yeah, I can't wait to see Jimmy the yeah the slap guy knock out somebody again Well, I think it's unlikely to at least be on the same cable home if there's another season objectively It is not been the success that he envisioned or that he promised and yeah the timing of the two things as Luke or sir reminds me of when our Kelly the first video came out of him relieving himself allegedly on an alleged underage person I like the same week he released an album called chocolate factory. That's right Look, I feel like it's bad the bit that I don't like it's bad for MMA I feel like it's a mix martial arts is like a thing that you're supposed to study and practice and love and learn how to respect your your fellow man and your opponent and not be an Asshole it's about being respectful and now you bring this to us like you know, we also like slapping fat guys with beards I don't know what that is either like why does everyone have to have a beer? Like just show me your chin anyway But it brings it makes it makes it's natural slap if you're a regular MMA fan And you see that you know, Dana White loves slap fighting and Michael Biz being who was the UFC champ is the announcer You're like, oh all MMA guys probably slap each other on touches every night, right? Which makes MMA guys seem stupid.
I think he's gonna do here Mike. Oh, I think he's gonna slap a real head And he really got slapped on that one He's behind he's definitely gonna want to slap at it. Yeah You've currently been slapped three times. What's your plan?
It could have been the greatest marketing scheme of all time It kind of is that for us to laugh at the domestic slap and then they have go once too I saw those but I don't think we're doing I don't think Dana's doing girl slap in his organization, right? Oh, really? I haven't seen it gorgeous ladies of slap women invented the slap kind of what are you know, go to fight move It's pretty smart in the street fight. It's also kind of I feel like if you get open hand slapped It hits different.
I feel like it's much more of a Injury to your soul in your ego than a punch. Oh, if you're if you're a big guy or you know what you're doing It's pretty easy to knock somebody out with a slap. Have you ever slapped a man in the classic style? No, I was right drink on somebody.
I don't think so I don't remember and I attended bar for like a decade feel if he's with the perks of I'm not a violent violence isn't my reaction Violence isn't like my modus operandi when I get angry. I retreat process and then come back verbally That's how I react. That's not a violent person. It's probably a way more convenient existence I think it definitely causes anxiety.
I'm not saying that we should be violent But there is a physical and physiological benefit to people that are quick to go might get the jump when it happens But they're also doing it way more than your average bear, right? And I feel like somebody that is in slap face pushing shove altercations six to seven a year I don't want to hang out with you. I agree. I agree.
I'm like, what are you doing? I got slapped by a kid in middle school open hand slapped and I got knocked out. Oh, yeah, this was in like Oh, this was Lincoln Middle School in Syracuse, New York. How old is that make you?
What's eighth grade 13? Yeah, nice Yeah, and I'm walking down the hallway and all of our lockers line the hallway and it's early in the morning And I'm just walking and you so beeping Bob and walking down the hall and I kind of turn towards my locker and somebody tripped me And I'm beeping bopping in a like cocky way. I'm happy and you know, just how I am bubbly and having a good day You know what could go wrong when you're 13 in high school? Everything's so great then, you know You got shimples the size of mountains and your boobs are uneven and you don't understand your body and things are bleeding So it's such a great time.
Wow. I never had anybody pitch it like that Yeah, that's it. That's it. I just made my first girlfriend seem really gross.
Yeah, I know right it's my charm Yeah, and I get tripped and then I turn around and no one would own the trip and I realized it was his kid and I kind of playfully shoved him and I was like, why'd you trip me? And I like shoved him and I turned around and I felt this tap on my shoulder. Oh, no And I saw he was already winding he whined back and knocked you out I was knocked out I came to and all the kids were surrounded me on top and this one. He was like, yeah, you deserve it You deserve it.
What and then I got suspended for like four days for being knocked out Yeah, and he didn't get suspended at all that make that doesn't make any sense like it's a situation was But you know, this is a very tender climate. So don't say anything. Yeah, we were you being racist? No, I don't See a Kennedy He was in a wheelchair That's the only time I can remember a slap but I didn't get the slap I never saw violence in my household So another that is a direct science, but there was no slapping or punching her violence of any kind So I didn't even consider that as a reaction My sister on the other hand kicked a hole through our drywall because I was dancing to Michael Jackson's thriller album A little too loudly one time.
So she might be the one. Sorry. I'm love you. She's a great mom Yeah, I don't think I have a punch my brothers Pretty sure I didn't do that.
I've mentioned this before I you last out someone threw a pretty substantial set of like heavy scissors Yeah, my sister and briefly got stuck in her leg. Okay. No, that's not we might want to open up. Yeah.
Oh, they find now the scissors No, the sister their relationship She I was standing by a coffee table almost exactly like this one over here a low Wide one and I was shorter than I was a kid and she shoved me and I was up against it So I immediately toppled over backwards over it and you lost it reached for the nearest item and threw it at her and that just happened to be Like a pretty sense that it was scissors when you hand grabbed it. I was in a blind rage No, no, no, no, I know you were trying to throw scissors at your sister also Was there not a band called blind rage? That's a real oversight. Why are you trying to stop bands?
We all have band shirts on his shirt. Well, it says the band who's the band. They're great and they're the band Who's the band? Seriously?
Oh, the band was a band they had toured with scream and Jay Hawkins and then they started They became Bob Dylan's backing band. So everybody just kind of knew them is that's the band. Okay, and then when they made a record They're like we're not gonna come up with the name. We're just gonna be the band.
I don't like that You probably know a couple there they sing yes, they do three or four of them. You've got great purple rain shirt on a rendition I've never seen it's awesome. Hey, Michael got it for me So this is sent to send those to us so Prince and Slayer purple rain and blood. I mean come on see what they did there Let's have a party.
Yeah, I should do a concert purple rain and blood. That's basically what it's like to be a teenage girl Wait, is he died Prince? Yeah, was he prescribed as well? I know Michael Jackson, but wasn't Prince as well on that sort of I think he may have ultimately been I think it was mr.
Brownstone for she do a little bit of a little window. It's a little got more and more oh so So she was doing drugs. You're saying oh, yes, he's a teeny fella too. I didn't take to hell.
Yeah, right But we didn't take too much to get him higher. What are we talking about? I just didn't take too much to fit him in your vagina What no, no, just the fact that I just called Prince Bosh, you fella fella wrong But he was a teeny fella, right? But he was a giant in his field.
It is a giant personality, right? So when he came to the room, he was huge for sure you never thought yourself well here's a little did you ever meet him? No, okay, but that's probably an accurate description. I would imagine that's how people fell.
Do we know how much you weighed? Yeah, 125 pounds. Are you serious? That was so confident.
I think he I think he weighed 125 pounds. I'm an actor What I've been in movies spaghetti off. I have I was in one yesterday I had no pants on but it's still movie. I was in it.
All right talking pictures. Oh, I did some acting too That's not annoying. Oh, did you do a scenario? Yeah?
I was a jayburner and I had to knock on the door and he answered and I was like hey man the music's loud and he's like My bad bro. I'm just watching porn. He's like my bad. Can you turn your boner down?
Yeah? You have to act like you didn't show up there considering the possibility of having sex with the guy But then all of a sudden just being around you're like, yeah, yeah, at least masturbating in front of me So I was like do you need a hammer that oh that's how that goes. Yeah, master bathing is pretty tiring work, right? It's trying to be a helpful neighbor State farm is there but I'm great acting though.
I might be half. I'll say that's good You have confidence in your art. Yeah, it's half the battle. You're over qualified your IMDB resume over qualifies you for connecting What happened Katie how much of Prince way?
He's fast isn't that still put him a whole like weight class above Randy Rhodes very fast. I'm a hundred and twenty five pounds He was so much faster than you go. He was he would slay people on the basketball court. Are you serious?
That's what I heard I never saw like I saw I give Trisha Prince ran by you just see a purple shadow Just like purple glitter. I heard you school falls on the court with heels on like like RDJ type heels or like actual like Prince shoes Pumps Robertine junior had like a little you know like a door. Yeah He also know that he's just already J. No, yeah, you don't already J.
Yeah, I didn't know what you're gonna Well, I'm on well pile on pile on the bus and get with a no that one made sense. I guess I want the bus and get with a no I get it I get it. So you do she just get more than you do Let's see speaking of maybe a little bit gay you familiar with the music artist Diplo He says he is not not gay. Okay, well, that's a little gay.
Yeah, good for him He says he's gotten a lot of blow jobs and he can't be sure where all them came from That's some of my stand-up right there if if you didn't know if nobody knew and you could just somebody could come over and give you a Blowjob and leave no questions asked would you do it? And if you say no, well, you're lying yourself because it's gonna be good Because they really want to not everybody really wants to when they do that so if you say no then you're lying And if you say yes, then you're gay, which means you're not I think if you were to get conveniently blown by a man And then they leave and you don't have to talk to him or be their friend or anything That a lot of guys would find that pretty convenient You just can't shake the fact that you did a gay act an hour ago and you probably you know Probably freak out make you depressed and stuff But really why are you depressed because other people know that you might have a gay because of this, you know half the world It's like if you do something like that you're gay for life That's it I'll never fake you go. Yeah, yeah all that stuff happens if you do the gay But if you knew that it was just a thing to get off You know, yeah, it's interesting because that's all it is. I just do you want to marry a man You're gay But if you just wanted to get a hand up of somebody and like I'm getting a messaged and you're like, let me just relieve that I agree questions asked what's wrong with that.
I agree. Well, you don't want to do it great Just the same as I do go to massage and ladies. It's gonna joke off. He says no cool.
It says yes cool Doesn't matter what's in their pants to me. It doesn't cuz I don't care about you That should be the men's warehouse new logo doesn't matter what's in your pants. I still love you. Yeah, put us on that's how yeah That should be the men's warehouse.
You know, it was I should be a men's warehouse You should be the new voice of men's warehouse. Well, there you go. That's when you job I guarantee you're like a little bit I get exactly if you're not gay little gay. It's okay.
I guarantee You're gay you're gonna like the way you're a little gay guarantee. Oh, that's a solid one. That's advertisement. Yeah, so cute That's so fabric on your and a little handy on before you leave.
Yeah, Bob's your uncle. Okay, okay, I did No, Bob's all man. Well, can't pay me on that. He's old man.
Look about fun Korea. Wait, you can't be old man And a little bit. That's exactly what I said Okay, good communities gonna come after you the man like a community is gonna come after you by the way The clip with you and dr. Drew is so wonderfully put it was so funny You know what I'm talking about we talk about him looking more gay than you.
Yeah, okay. Yeah, that was what it's a poignant observation and it's also a conversation about how society views people the need for labels and how labels actually limit our Ability to see people. Yeah, which is the irony of having a label like I get we need Identifying factors to be able to survive and all that but it really is a limitation with communication and connectivity of you see it in your Other person, you know, just because you're one you're just because of your sexual orientation You start leaning towards doing things and all those other people do it's like just do what you want to do Yeah, you know, I don't have to be whatever a gay man you whatever you think a gay man is or whatever you think a straight man Is I don't have to be anything. I don't want to be and I can also be anything I want to be You don't have to like it or approve of it.
Okay. I'm not trying to leave in your fucking fish box Fish box fish box will not be at Coachella this year. That's a bummer because I've always liked those guys. Yeah, they were great I think I'm a teacher somewhere.
I prefer the earlier stuff. Yeah, right? Don't lay all before they sold it. Anyone ever got better Yeah, I gotta hit and then later on they had a real hit rolling stone.
Yeah, wait rolling stones were crap at the start. Yeah No, there's not one crappy Number one it's called number one. Yeah, look it up it tank. That's why no one knows about it.
You are right everyone got it. Yeah, no Katie The Bee Gees were let's go bleed off somewhere. The Bee Gees were around for like 10 years. They started off.
They sounded exactly like the Beatles Yeah, okay, everybody knows Yeah, they got better. They did okay. Yeah, they did yes, you got to let it go Bee Gees had a thing you can't is it does it sound gay? Yeah Go with that, but is it awesome?
Yeah, you see on the Grammys the Indian song did Oscars Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we go That's that weird I've heard wonderful things about that movie and that song I've never seen I was our RV our our our rent Do they is it soundtracks that they ask for? It's like a bunch of dancing well they do best original song score Yeah, and I think is like peel off to the side of the stage while these other two dudes become the front dancing guys It was confusing it was like they were they were the singers, but they weren't trying to get all the all the fame It was like interesting they hide and it was like we had to have the stars of the backup dancers be two guys I'm like, it's not an American decision. We wouldn't do that here. It was like culturally different Yeah, because they weren't saying they were gay It was just two guys were the stars of the dance team and the girls were in the back.
That's kind of fun. It's a new story with two guys singers So it was really it was an odd pairing I thought I was like, well, that's weird You know and they weren't trying to say anything But it was also a really weird song that I would never be into but so trying to say I could appreciate it It was they were skilled everybody involved was doing something you wouldn't be able to do you got to put some work in for that one Yes, they won I think do I want to drive in my car to that tune no So the first rolling stones album was self-titled, but the second one was called number two see And the first thing I said one and the first one was very unsuccessful and had no songs that we would recognize on it Right here is no kids see What was what was the songs off of that that you reckon like Street Fighting Man from the first album the first There's the garbage song Yeah, that was pretty bad. Yeah trash Is there anything else is it still a staple in our culture today the songs from that first album Katie? Slippery garbage anybody no no wow.
Yeah, this guy's correct it was amazing. They survived a second album I mean, I'm not even convinced they're alive. I think those are taxidermy creatures and someone's you know make money off the estate I will say that if they wanted to stop touring we could mick jagger and Keith Richards have morphed into something that is so puppet-like That I think if they didn't care to Trevor's the globe anymore. We could just have mick and Keith B rolling stone puppets Well, they actually are those are Jim Henson puppets, and they could just keep touring.
That's what those are yeah They actually are puppets right I would go see the puppets version of that. I think I probably pass I don't like puppets. I don't want to kill puppets, but I want to hang out with puppets I don't like the way they talk. I don't like that they have a curtain that they come up They pretend to be friends with each other I don't like that they don't have legs and I don't like all the stupid hats they wear and I don't like how some guys head It's way different than the other guys head It's like they're not even the same human race and I don't like the crowds because it's usually Losers the crowds the crowd children that are gonna grow up to be losers and then lose their parents.
Oh wow and yeah I'm pretty much against puppet shows and You know like they can do whatever they want in the privacy of their own home But I don't think it's fair that the kids see a puppet show the puppets. Yes, so maybe Tennessee instead I want to ban puppet shows like a band puppet shows right there you go because they're dangerous to children They both I just got to put a stop to it Yeah puppets are dangerous for children because they'll do things like they'll be like Kill themselves and if your kids watching he's gonna kill himself well the most the only puppet show the only puppet show ever saw The only I don't know if this is the same thing that I was drinking to that was gonna bring up The only puppet show that I can think of by name is the one where the guy just beats up his wife That might have been it is he stab himself after his name is literally punch. Oh, I did say that punch and Judy Is that real puppet show? Yeah famous?
Yeah, yeah, it's like for children It was all man to be sad if it was for an adult the only children's entertainment for like 600 years was punch and Judy Oh, no, it wasn't a doll show before we had movies we all gathered around on the street watch puppet show people with puppet boxes They had a lot of fame Then I'd watch the puppet show that's I'm saying man a bottle of morphine be like bring on the bring on pungent Judy Wow, I've seen this 75 times that I love it. I'm even more every time. Yeah, bring out punch again. Yeah, it sucks So you don't like sesame Street growing up sesame Street is different.
It's different right. I'm sure you had your own Australian No, we had we had sesame Street. We knew there was no point trying to match that I was high level. Yeah, you can't you can't compete with big bird.
You're not gonna you're not gonna who's no one's bit better than big bird Snuffle off a guess Elmo. It's never love kiss was one of my favorites the grouch. I loved I loved animal grover He was I think animal was my favorite. Yeah, I can see that name when I had kids I liked Elmo because my daughter thought he was cute.
So so did I almost almost hiding something There's something he's too nice. There's something underneath there was an anger. Oh, I think I'm all should I'm all should enter MMA It's burning earlier gay, right? It has been widely alleged and assumed like how else would that work right?
They're in the 60s in the 60s that a lot of guys do that it was a very you know It was supposed to be like a platonic yeah roommate situation It's like married people that don't sleep with each other same as that, you know like married people that have two different bedrooms Yeah, that sounds like a way to keep the marriage working Bertner and he definitely no, it's not me Bertner Your parents they have as they didn't when I was a kid they started but they do now, right? Yeah, somewhere around 80 My dad started sleeping in the other room. Wow. I'm not really sure why to be honest with you I think it might have just been to have more room in bed at 80 something like that Wow, that's an interesting just to make it that long and the same bed and then to just there was no falling out that I'm Aware of you know now.
I'm taking to my own chamber sounds like there was a falling out Something happened maybe dig on another show. Jess. Oh, you guys do have a show together. Maybe you can get to the bottom of that I know I see I see totally I don't have series I did tell you doesn't think it I'm gonna dig into that for sure You should go there and get to the bottom of it to his dad's house Yeah, and sleep overnight into a sleep in his bed and then sleep in her bed and see what's really going on Okay, you want to live broadcast from you should do it in the middle of the night and wake them both up and say hey Hey, why don't you sleep in my demand answers yet?
We got to get to the bottom of this I think some people get to the point where they're like the only reason I'm not saying this is my parents not saying It's not I don't know where they're like I was here basically for sex and we're not doing that anymore So why am I still sleeping with this person? I think that is why some older couples get to that point and also Why not have a room where you can go and sleep? Why don't I have to sleep with this person every night? Why leave with it because you like it we can live with them But you know so it's having some space within the space.
I feel like it's healthy. Yep, okay I quite like sleeping with my wife. Well sounds like this morning might have changed things We'll never speak of that. I can't I've actually got a pretty good tree go now because it's we're 17 years that's the first time I can't think of a real obvious There's been like a little cute like whoopsie like Betty Boopfarts those don't count Oh, this was a this was a show where I was a real proper when you're all alone in the house your neighbor's text Did you like are you okay?
Did you hear that right exactly a frame fell off our wall right exactly got it She changed her pants. I don't know if it was her I don't know if it was a change your I don't even know if because I don't know if anybody ever thought sorry No, I leave it you think you have to change your pants no comment No for sure, but I have was the wrong question. I'm sorry I change your keys. You've probably changed her keys, so she can't get in the house now You change your cockies because you shoot your pants no cuz she blew blue And no one claimed it.
How do you how do you have something that? Destructive and not claim it seems very very reckless. Well, I'm saying she may have been asleep. It was her whoever did it Let's assume it was her may have been asleep as it happened.
I have woken myself up farting wow Wait a way to save the great topics for the end. We should never done that started with this now. I'm not an animal Hey, what is an animal day? I said I've woken myself up for no way.
I put myself to sleep that way because I'm a lady I've woken myself up farting I've woken myself up with poo in the bed I've like sneezed before and shit in a steam room Wow and I cut the inside underwear off and put it in the trash And then one time I went down a rolling I skated the mega ramp and the next day I skated the YMCA and the transitions are way tighter and I went down the rolling first ride I was like maybe a little bit high and the G forces what maybe do a little shot on a pylon on it Did you put on a pylon no down a rolling? I don't know what the spaghetti that I ship a pants center Wow What's on Tony Hawk shit his pants and then we had to do doubles and he did a trick over me while I was talking with Pooh and his pants. Oh god. Shout out to Tony Hawk.
Oh god my man Did you know how did you find out he told me afterwards and I was like wait a minute Did you shoot your pants before the last bit of the demo? He's like yeah, I might do we I did doubles with you With poopy in your pants. That's cool. I thought it's cool.
That's Tony Hawk poopy That's legendary pooh it is and I survived to tell the story real quick before we wrap up here little things in life Jessame sounds like they're the big thing a story out of Wales 18 female guards were Terminated for having sexual relationships with inmates in a single prison. I'll be a lot of hot inmates So hot they actually have photos of three of the accused I think they're the ones who actually charged with something and they're shown with the the inmates They just couldn't say no to so Are these male female guards and male guards and they're pretty well ones male in male ones not but two are decent Pretty different whales wait excuse me. I have a question these and excuse me for this isn't a sexist This is just a genuine curiosity. There's female guards in a male prison.
Yes, that doesn't seem like That just seems strange to me. Why because they look like very dainty Women you know guns and look at the well criminal looks like that's true. Yeah. Oh my god.
Oh, so this is a juvenile He's a man. That's not a man. How dare you is young. That is not a man that is a child wait He boned all of them no, I think he was linked to There's a guy that's a tinder swindler one Jennifer Gavin was linked to the child criminal We just know that guy I just think it's very curious and interesting that there are these Delicate dainty looking female guards.
It's like police officers. They pull you over and any give you their number What's from that? No, they're not capable it to me. It just you've had sex with the police officer No, doesn't mean I want the police to fund it or anything.
I just know would you I don't know Is he if you was a nice person? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?
Yeah? All that is he committed and Complete bastard who is this guy? Saying this is a man That'll that cross the line in one of the cupdogs I'm gonna be limited to the canine unit. It's a German Shepherd.
It's my life partner Platonic life partner sure separate beds for sure for sure for sure sure yeah I still can't get over the fact that Prince was so dainty You didn't know that he was small. I know you just played gigantic guitars exclusively 112 pounds It's so cute. I just it's adorable. Did you bone him?
What would you want to do with Prince if you had, you know four hours cook for him and let him take a nap Sounds like his life was stressful make him a nice meal probably try to get him off that trip that killed him Yeah, and steal some of his guitars for sure. I was like it is not gonna do it. Well He was asleep. I definitely would steal some stuff from his house.
Oh wow You would it no I wouldn't let him sleep either Why not because I've only got four hours with Prince we can do whatever you wanted But it sounds like a fun basketball game I'll play basketball with him and then maybe record a song together that'd be fun and then you know probably bone him Like we would have two totally different days our days could be one day Mm-hmm. You do all that stuff make him tired. Yeah, I'll make you guys launch your dinner. Oh, then I'll be there Yeah, okay, and you don't we carry the heavy stuff out to the car.
I'll carry him Steel Prince. We'll steal Prince. I'll be my belly What about the 75 year old Arnold Schwarzenegger you saw at R&D kitchen? What about him?
She gave him a role a Roll roll roll and see hey, you don't move me. That's from no, but it's oh boy. I'm afraid it's a set of music Roll roll roll and see hey, no, it's Terry Gar from young Frankenstein. No great movie But I might be the movie Jason film the other day.
That's what I said enough now Well go up yeah It's been great to have you here, Jess and me Paloo So where can people find you on social media and how do I find tickets to your comedy? Just me calm for tickets to see me live and back out on to run 420 hell yeah and Podcast there it is thanks. Thanks for being on the show Michael. It was cool to see you too.
Yeah, it's always a pleasure It's great to see you tell me I'll see you in a couple hours don't die Is that what your wife sounded like? Picture a little tugboat going right behind this