Is that what I look like? What the f- That's not bad. I don't know man. I don't think that's not bad.
Just more Fio dude. Alright. Yeah, you don't look bad. Thanks.
I think you look- No, you look great. I wasn't fishing but I like what I got. I am fishing. Okay, you look great.
I love the pig pants. I'm a temperamental. Yeah, I can feel it. Yeah, I don't need you to tone it down.
I should. I want to. It's my final bucket. I'll just totally move it.
Do it, improve it. Not that we can't burn. I'll start the heart and desire. My balls are a fight.
I'll do. Welcome to. The show is up. Yeah, man.
Screw it. Let's just blind each other for the rest of it for the whole show. Wow, that's even more blinding. Don't give up, Michael.
I don't need to have eyes. This show is up against before I went blind today. So it's fine. Joel, you're here.
Yeah, I'm here. Right here. Are you? No.
Okay. A little bit. Okay. In bus.
We're going to make it happen. I like you, man. I like you too. It's weird because you like you said a load of me and I was like, that guy is real nice.
Okay. And then I didn't know who you were. You and nobody. I didn't Google it.
But I clicked on some stuff. I think I already followed you. I don't know what's going on. I had a lot.
I might actually be in trouble. Somebody called the other day and I think they were mean and they tried to call it Patreon and tell me that I have the brain damage thing. Yeah. Am I cool?
Because it's not cool for that. The E stands for Alice. Right. But the difference is I wasn't using it all anyway.
So your brain? Yeah. That's probably true. And they say we only use 10%.
Right? Right. From Lucy, the movie Lucy. If you use 100, you can just disappear into a computer and then I can control all of you.
Right. Right. That's why I feel like I'm probably using about 35. I think this is like 20 of an hour.
Okay. So I'm running with about 15. I'm smarter now than I was when I was 20. Interesting.
I'm smarter now than I was when I was 30. I'm smarter now than I was when I was 40. But you're dumber than you will be when you're 100. Yeah.
Yeah. Cool. Oh, it's about to go on the decline. This is peak brain.
I think so. I've got about. I reckon soaking up baby. I know.
Thank you. Shout to Dr. Connevar. Connevar.
Connevar. Wellness because I do peptides and I think that that peptides will get me going for the next 10 years and then I will die. So carnivore wellness also sees human patients? It's fair.
Totally fair. Speaking of being an asshole and roasting people, man, I went down a rabbit hole with you. I love Kill Tony, but I'm new to Kill Tony. Gotcha.
So maybe a year in. Yeah. And I'm like, oh my God, this is like the best podcast out. Yeah.
And then they were already in Texas when I started listening. Yeah. So but they were the companies talking about it all the time. And then I go on the YouTubes because they love me there.
And you're on there. You're the drummer. And then I sort of drum off because I know Mexican drum offs. I've listened to tons.
I don't watch it. I listen in the car. So I don't know who anybody is. And then I realize that you were the drummer and then you had a drum off with two of the nylious drummers in the history of Kill Tony.
And you, I was like, cause I saw you play drums and I was like, yeah, these guys might have you. Cause they seemed like metal tech and I'm like, you seem more like punk rock. But you did, you, I was like, you're going to get screwed right now. And you destroyed them.
And they, I think the first guy was technically, because he was doing some stuff where I was like, I don't like your music, but I can tell that's difficult. Yeah. Was it was the two in a row? I was like, what is that?
Is that really happening? I was dying of a panic attack before. I bet, but dude, you came out and then, and then all the roasts, I saw like a highlight reel of just all your, this guy looks like this guy looks like that. And I'm like, man, that's high level, the highest level.
Cause you're there on the, on the sickest bone podcast in the world. And your bones are as sick as Tony Hinchcliffe. If not sicker from that video, I saw it. There's ones where you can tell you break him.
Yeah. And then what is, I'm new. So what's Joel Burke? So Joel Burke started cause when I was just the drummer, I didn't have a mic and I would feed jokes to the dudes in front of me, but they would never work.
Cause it wasn't their voice. It was already, the timing had moved. So one day my buddies, like you should say it and I started saying it and then you remember the wrestler Goldberg? Yeah.
So he was like on a wind streak of like, whatever. And one day, Tony just said, oh, that's, that's Joel Jimenez. He's on a bill Goldberg like streak. And I said, Joel Burke and then it just like stuck became a thing.
Every time he burns somebody to a crisp, the crowds, that's Joel Burke. Yeah. It's wild. Like whether you like it or not.
I got it in Australia. Wait, Kilton he was in Australia. Yeah, we did Australia. We did a Brisbane, Melbourne and Sydney.
And everybody knows the podcast cause podcasts are global and it was just like you were in another club. Yeah. And it's wild man. The Joel Burke's were flying.
They sound more mentally challenged, but. Hello. I love your accent. I don't know why I went there.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Why would I? Sorry. I said, I said, but at the start of the first thing, they'll compete that out.
We're good. I think that's the Christian podcast. It's not, it's a YouTube podcast, which is the same thing. Yeah.
Okay. It's not about, I'm not even, I've done it. Don't, don't, don't, I've not, I'm not gonna say it. Everybody's great.
I love everybody. I like all the people, even the people that don't want me to do anything that I want to do. Yeah. Cause I want to live your life.
I love all of you people should not explode yourself. Remember scanners? Yes. I wish I had the power.
You do imagine though? I know it's a great primary. Scanners is the guy that can just, he just starts like thinking and then I make your brain explode. Your head explodes.
Right. Explodes. Yes. But first you go like, and then your head fully popped to the point where you're almost like a relief.
You're dead. You're dead. You're fully dead. Right.
That's like 100% brain power. Right. That's what I want. That's why people can't be trusted with it.
What I'm 89. That's when I'll have that. And if you do 55, I'll mark my words. I'll be speaking.
I'm not saying that the Australian people's voices sound very mentally challenged. I love Australia. I love you. You're never going to ever go in back.
Oh, they love me there. It's going to be fine. You know it's crazy. The people who are chatting for you there, how many do they even know Goldberg is?
I don't know. What do you mean? Wrestling's in Australia. Oh, yeah.
Especially that era. Oh, yeah. I knew Goldberg from Australia. Really?
Wow. Because I've been here, I was like, he used to play football, right? Uh huh. Because he's finishing move.
I've seen that before in the American football game. He plays American rules. Great, all right, mate. It's called, Grid Light.
Yeah, Gridiron. You guys wear pads though. You guys are pussies. That's what we used to say.
Pussies got pads on. We showed a block. No pads. Damn.
Well, that explains the brain, all that. Oh, I've got tons. That guy might have been right. But I know you right now.
I know I'm on the air. I know I've got a Patreon running. That's Tully. You know?
I'm all right. The fundamentals are strong. That's all. I'm working on Selsadades, and I'm getting better.
Really? Why people move their shoulders and head? I was told today. And you're not supposed to hate why people.
And as soon as I heard that, I was like, oh god. It's something white about my shoulder. He called it. But then I eradicated it.
But it makes me angry. So now I dance with an angry face, because I'm angry at my Caucasian side, trying to move its shoulders. And I'm like, shut up. What have you done for me?
Honestly. Why did you get into it? Is it for fighting? Yeah, originally.
You wanted to be smoother. Yeah, it's better for working stuff. Yeah, but also I just started to fall in love with Selsad. I don't know why.
Maybe my friend, because Cuban people rubbed off, I don't know what happened. But I really like Cuban people. And I want to be Cuban. I want to move to Cuba and wear a flower shirt.
In Miami. And then the big gold chain. And stand so smooth that all the hot, real big black ladies. I feel like I dance on me and stuff.
And I'm like, eh. That's a really long way to cope for a small drink of water. I'm not even going to bone on me. Because they're like, eh, just like, eh.
You're going to plow in Castro's. Probably. Are you going to Cuba? Is that you have that plan?
Eventually when they deport me here. All right. So next week. Yeah, when Brondisant just takes over and they ban all gays.
Half of gay. It's like half of me has to leave. Then the whole of me has to. You know, cut me the gay out.
Send it back to where I came from. You can't just hang your anus off the hip. Take it here. That's a straight part of me, Michael.
It was until I broke it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hey, dancing.
Yeah, I don't like it. I don't enjoy dancing, but I've never thought to go that far. I just don't know what to do with my face. Yeah.
So insecure. I feel like if I could wear a mask, I'd be real good at it. You've got to have a confident face. Yeah, never going to happen.
You don't even have to dance good. If you have a confident face, you're ripping. Yeah. Yeah, it's not going to happen.
I was always a better dancer when I was drunk. Because I was absolutely positive that I was cutting up a rug. But then I realized that I wasn't. And then I got to get sober.
And I was like, oh, man. I mean, my whole life is going to be the name now. So I'm just going to pretend I'm drunk. Yeah.
The only times I've danced is when I was near blackout. I just let it go now. I'm like, you know what? Especially when you talk about blowing dudes on camera, it's pretty much over for me.
Bad dancing is like the lead. You mean, at least the yellow is bad dancing? I think dancing is more embarrassing. Really?
Yeah. I'd probably rather blow a dude on camera than dance. Wow. Yeah.
That's how I'm like. That's the visceral reaction I have to dancing. Wait, like dance anywhere? Yeah, kind of.
I like break dancing, but I can't do it. But it's different. It's just a mini cardboard box. Yeah.
What kind of moves you had break dancing? I can do like half a windmill. Oh, that's pretty cool. I can do like a leg-sippy thing.
I got a little bit of like a rock sort of. Hellicompton? What's that? Right.
No. Backspin? I can do a backspin. Yeah.
I can maybe do a bit of a head spin. No. Maybe a little bit. But like one rotation?
Maybe like a quarter. I see we have to do that. Yeah. Hellicordive rotation.
Hell yeah. This is a trip for me because I've known, I grew up skateboarding. So I've known about you and my whole life, and the Red Dragon and all that stuff. Yeah.
I remember seeing you in Mike V's greatest hits when you guys were talking about the England. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, well, he got in a fight with everybody in there.
And then I went in. Think about your kids, man. Nobody. Yeah.
Yeah. I remember that. I also, I got it because I'm like, I got problems too. So I saw it.
You know what I mean? And I was like, I don't take this as a bad parent. I take this as, there's a fire in him. And when it's up, you can't put it out until you need a lot.
And you need a lot to put it out. And I was like, let's just go with it. I think I tell it. Like he tried to like calm him down.
He fought you. Oh, yeah? Yeah. So I was just like, let's get these guys.
Let's get out of here. And then let's get these guys. And then he was like, that's a deal. Man.
And then we didn't get those guys. But I was surprised that nobody else helped him. Yeah. A guy just showed up.
And it was already happening. Which means people knew for at least 20 seconds, maybe a minute. I don't know. I, when I showed up, they're like, dude, your boys in trouble.
And I'm like, wait, what are you all doing? Yeah, he's your boy too. He's our boy. Yeah.
You know, like, where he's all of our boy. He is. Well, that's when you find out who is comfortable in those situations and who wants to know part of it. I'm not comfortable in the situations.
I'm not. I like fighting in the gym, but I don't like confrontation at all. I'm scared. Just paint the picture of what you're talking about for people who don't know or have forgotten.
I went into a stadium, like a football stadium, as an indoor stadium. And then when I got in there, skate parks, even the whole area, it's all floored off rants and streets, course and all that stuff. And I'm off the side of the stadium. And there's a big group of skaters.
And I go up to them. And they're like, dude, your boy is in trouble. And I go, what are you talking about? And they point to these doors that the doors go in and out or whatever.
And you can see the window that goes the stairs that goes out of the stadium. And there's a fight on the other side of the doors. And I see Mike. And it looked like 20 people to me.
And I'm like, what? So I mean, I was like 20 people on Mike. I don't have a choice. I wasn't going there to be like, I'm going to wreck.
I was like, I'm going to help him get out of there. And then when I got in there, they were real tough guys. That's why it happened. Because Mike, they wouldn't let his kid and his wife in.
And he was like, really? Yeah. And everyone was like, dude, come on. He's his wife.
And they're like, not no pass. Screw that. And then it turned into an altercation where Mike punches pretty quick. So he's punching.
And these guys, I can tell. As soon as I got in there, the first guy that saw me, he just got, I just know that look. Like he's been in tons of bar fights. He's a bar fighter.
He's a tough guy. He was older than me. And he was grabbing on me. And I was trying to grab Mike.
And then I saw the kids. And that's when everything changed. I was like, oh my god, wait, it's just Mike. And his kid and his wife.
Yeah. You guys are sick. You said they were like between his legs or something. He was like, yeah.
On the stairs. And he was standing on the stairs. And they were between his legs. And he was punching them while they were punching him.
So I punched that guy. Yeah. Because I could tell he's going to punch me. So I punched him.
And he just ate it and punching back. And it hurt really bad. And I was like, oh my god. I'm going to get knocked out on the staircase.
And then I tucked my head because he was still trying to punch me. And I grabbed him, Mike, by the back of the pants. And then grabbed his wife who had the kid and just started marching up while people were punching me in there. To get him up the top of the stairs.
And then I got him up the top of the stairs. And kicked the table over. And a kid flying. And then out the door.
I don't know if that's the one where he said he grabs them both by the head and threw himself back down the stairs or something. There's a bunch of fights in that DVD. He's had a lot of fights. Yeah.
But I remember the sound by being you going, think of your kids. I did say that. Because when we got to the top and we could go out the door, he posted up. And was like, right, let's go.
And they were on the ground screaming. And I was like, dude, the kids. You know what I mean? And he was like, I saw him and he started.
And he was like, oh. Shh. You know what I mean? I was like, oh, no, I know.
Just get them out. And then we'll get them. You know what I mean? Oh, OK.
And then when we got out there, I was like, dude, come on, man. Now there really is 20 of them. We don't need to go back in there. And then we went back in there.
And I think they were reprimanded. Because what they were doing was not what they were supposed to be doing. I think they accidentally hired some heavier dudes than they were like the stone siren. Just siren the hells angels.
I know it's only skateboarding. But you hit the star of the show. And that's because he was trying to have his children. And he's wife here.
Maybe next time you're kind of his wife, give his wife a lanyard. Yeah, man. You ever look back at those? Because Street fights now, in my age, I'm like, it's so dumb.
It's so dangerous. In the streets. You know, 17. I was walking out of a club with two girls and either some two punch me out in the face.
Didn't even see it coming. Just punched me in the face because I had two chicks. And I was like, what the hell is that? And then I think I made the girls leave.
And then I pushed him and then the cops showed up. No, like, break it up. I was like, I just punched me for no reason. They're like, sorry.
And I left, like, bitter. I bet we could trace your CTE through this podcast with all these. Dude, the next weekend a guy at same age got punched in the face out of the front of that club. Fell over and he's hit on the curb and died.
Oh, man. And my stepmom told me. And I was like, kind of hit home. I was like, wait, that could have been me.
That could have been me. So I've never had my dad street punch people a lot when I was growing up. Yeah, it's about a thing that has wrecked people. Like, that's what people's teeth through their face.
Like, a lot of times it was almost like guaranteed. If he got you, you're teeth are coming out of your mouth. And his hands were all, because he had strong bones. So weak skin is what I used to think it was.
Because he'd hit stuff and he's skin would rip open, but his bones wouldn't break. And he'd break whatever he hit. And it would always, you know, and he'd switch. He'd be like, don't do it.
Don't do it. No one can stop him. Everyone's going to get out of the way. He's throwing punches around me.
Like, man, try to break up fights with him and some other guy in the alleyway. And just, he's about started throwing. And right in the middle of him, I was like, chit. And you're a kid.
That one was a little bit older. I actually jumped in and beat that. A little bit. But when I beat him up, I didn't beat him up to beat him up.
I beat him up to stop. And I was like, just stop. And I let you go. Because he kicked that in the chest.
And he backed him into the wall. And I was like, that's enough. I'm not going to watch that. And the dude was real tall.
And I jumped up, got him in the head, locking. Slammed his car door on his head. Crying. Not tough.
Crying. Start. You know what I mean? I'll stop.
He's like, all right, I'll stop. And I'll push him in the car. And I walk off towards the car. My dad's car with him.
And he goes, you took your time, didn't you? And I looked at him like, what? And he's like, jogging. And I was like, can I get it right at home?
He's like, nah. See it. He left me. I had to get to train home.
I was like, dude, I just. Yeah, it was a weird world. I'm weird. I had him angry about it.
Yeah. Isn't there like an Australian thing called the Kings Punch? People were going around like just knocking random people in the streets. We've, that's not Australian.
That's everybody. Okay. That might have even been, that was an American thing. Okay.
There was knockout game thing. Yeah, fuck that. There's some bad, there's some bad people out there. That's the other thing, bad people.
That triggers me. Like if I'm around and you're doing that. A safer Ontario means more police and prosecutors making sure my car doesn't get stolen. It means building new jails to keep criminals behind bars.
And it means there's no need to wear me when I play at the park. You're making every corner of Ontario safer to make all of Ontario safer. That's how we protect Ontario. For all of us.
Learn how at Ontario.ca.ca. Payed for by the Government of Ontario. It's hard for me not to regulate. Yeah.
You know, like if you're just like inappropriate and bullying or whatever. Sure. I feel my blood boiling. That's probably good.
It's not because, well, you can't, it's not like it never works out. Yeah. You know, like the hero, you're not. Yeah, yeah.
Like I'd be the hero if I could do it calmly. But like by the time I'm throwing. You're, now you're the evil person. I'm bad.
I'm gonna look bad. Like when you're asleep and I'm screaming over the top you're like, it's like I can. I was naxed. You know what I mean?
I was wrong with that guy. That guy was picking on that lady. Yeah. I was like, what's way far gone?
I was like, James Bond. I can be like, you know, like, now settle down. You know what I mean? Don't worry.
I've got to control. I don't look like that. I don't say that. I say no.
That's plenty more with that. I wish. So it's best just to get out there. Joel, did you grow up in like a punk rock scene punk rock?
Yeah. Where did the drumming come from? From that, I mean, I grew up in LA. I'm from northeast LA.
Like they call it Frogtown. It's like by Dodger Stadium. And, uh, my parents got me a kit for Christmas when I turned 14. I started doing Ramones covers and just formed a band and started playing.
Got involved in all that. Yeah. I'm wondering, I mean, you must have seen some fights and stuff. Oh, yeah, for sure.
Yeah. I mean, I grew up around it. I mean, I got fucked with a lot. I probably got in a couple fights as like a kid.
Just like people mess with me because I skateboarded and didn't like, it's hard to believe for people now with how cool skateboarding has become, but it was like in my neighborhood. It was not like that. It was like Cholos and people played basketball and that was it. And I was maybe one of five skateboarders in my entire neighborhood.
And, uh, yeah. I mean, you see, you see shit like that all the time. I was getting paid up at school for being a skateboarder. People would accuse me of having sex with sharks, which I was always weird because it was, they, they would call me a shark effort.
Okay. And I'm like, what? Why? It's because you're a surfer.
I'm not a surfer. And it's like, well, we don't know anything else. You go sideways, you have sex with sharks. I'm like, all right.
Also sex with a shark sounds pretty bad. You're not, but you are a beast. Yeah. I mean, if you get eaten, then it's not really that.
It's just like, like, if you bone sharks and then swim away. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The shark is consenting.
Obviously it's consenting. Yeah. There's no other way if you think about it. No, you're right.
You're right. You're out spot on. Right. Yeah.
It's okay. I think we're okay. Good. Some kid got probably bit by a shark in New Jersey.
Yeah. Is that how healthy is a Jersey shark? Not healthy. Like what kind of conditions is he seems like smokes, smokes, new ports?
He's like the kind of shark that grew up like his mom giving him like, uh, lunchables. I bet like hogies. Yeah. Yeah.
I bet you if you can swim a little bit of gas out. A couple of poker? I'm fairly stereotyping my people. Oh, are you from New Jersey?
Yeah. I'll let you go in then. It's not you. The other people from Jersey I've met.
I think you've unfaredly stereotyped your people. You want to see the kids? They don't even know for sure if it was a shark. What?
I'm just so famous. Hey, man, he's full came off. No, no, no, no. He just has some like puncture stuff that they think is consistent with.
Oh, if you get bit by anything in the scene, you don't know for short. You say it's a shark. Yeah. I've always, this is my greatest fantasy.
Yeah. Instead of a shark bar and live and fucking. But on video on stock it and get away. Nick Fanning is the shark the sheriff or yeah Did he gave me a surfboard the other day?
Oh, yeah? Yeah, you do have sex with sharks Yeah, it's true. You do love this one if anybody wants to get whom do you owe to us my company? But my business partner was like hey man, I got a package for I meet you at the ramp and he gave me some deodorant And I'm like what's this yeah?
Yeah, I'm fanning gave it to me to give to you. Okay. Cool. Do you surf at all?
Really badly, but barely to suck so bad. I want to go to that fake wave thing again Yeah, I got to surf there Wow, but it was in the winter and the water was like 50 whoa, yeah, it just takes a fun out of it Unless you're really good when you just pat around like a drowning seal frozen and frozen. It's not as cool You know so summertime shorts that sounds hours and hours of like I get away if I get away I reckon by the end of the weekend I'll be like Get up off the lip off the lip. I bet yeah, you're gonna be completely gone.
Yeah. Oh, yeah, I keep thinking There's a lot of bummers about surfing. I love I always wanted to be a surfer man. I just what no I can't I tried I'm not good.
I can stand up. Yeah, you're I don't have the arm strength. I think it's a battle. Yeah, but I get Yeah, no, it's total technique is one time an old fat guy next to me I paddle and he paddle past me and got the wave And I was like dude, okay, something's up.
Yeah, it's technique It's the way they're like catching it, but I was like straight like come around three eleven fat Sublime to joints out in the day and like two joints before we got on the board and he just went look like an engine There's a special breed of fat guys not all fat guys are made the same because every sport I've ever done mark hunt there's always been like I swim and there's just always some fat dude It's just like not even trying it was like three times better than everybody you serve. No, okay one time he went One last moment I stood up at about nine inches of water. Do you know Jonathan Freeman is no? He's a surfing strap again.
So I'm gonna show a lot he can get anyone to serve I'd love to meet him. We should all go. I would love that we should do the Jason show at the wave pool in Austin, Texas Is that Danny ways does any like oh, and one of those okay? Okay?
Nevermind Kelly's ladies the surf at Danny No, I know that well, then why I thought Danny way I thought Danny you know what you realize you kind of sound a little bit down Well, they all kind of look alike. No, that's really what I'm sorry. Let's move on look at this shark bite in this guy's leg It's really incredible. Yeah, like you're attacking white people and you're attacking.
I'm allowed to attack white people. You're not I I'm Mexican. I'm Mexican. Yeah, watch it.
I don't know getting offended. Well, I'm really not I hate white people probably more than you I thought yeah, I'm not why I'm a string it's different. Yeah, I'm lying, but it makes me feel better every time I say yeah Yeah, I do I like making people a lot. Okay.
Thank you. I feel like I Can you make sure you tell them that I'll let them know yeah for sure? Hell yeah, I need them to know I want to have sex with all your women, but I'm gonna have sex with me like not I'm not trying to rape any You're fetishizing no, I'm gonna stick with all brown people. Okay more than white people.
Okay Some here. I don't really want to I don't like white guys. I like like not you don't say that's weird. Whatever.
I'm relaxed I know but I'm not like that but like like what I like black eyes. Okay. Yeah chicks arguably one of the hottest I know I like tattooed white chicks. Okay, but I don't like tattooed white guys.
Huh white guys are just stupid. Yeah Everybody we're talking about fume. Do you like to play with things? I do I find fume keeps my hands busy So that I can fidget around and play with things and and I enjoy their flavors as well There are certain habits.
Yeah fidgety things that you might like to do with your hands things. You might even like the taste of yeah I like bad habits my that can be bad. I gotta stop that well. That's where fume comes in.
I like the wooden bit It feels right in your hand. It's got a twisty thing. It's an award nominated device and and I feel like if I was like a mouse yeah, and I was making pizza That would be a real good thing to knead my bread to make the pizza crust what can't this little puppy do right? You can enjoy it anywhere you want any time you want.
There's no electronics or any of that stuff in the michael It's just it's just flavored air stopping is something we all put off because it's hard But switching to switching too fume is easy enjoyable and even fun fume has served over a hundred thousand customers and thousands of success stories There's no reason that can't be you we can probably give you a discount to care Join fume in accelerating humanities breakup from destructive habits by picking up the journey pack today head to try fume Dot-com and use code Jason to save 10% off when you get the journey pack today That's try fum dot common use code Jason to save an additional 10% off your order today play with yourself the healthy way I'm not like a never met a walk-out. I wanted to have sex with have I sex with a walk-out sure yeah, that's different. Yeah, I Said it's a great head a lot right. Yeah.