Visit BetMDM Casino and check out the newest exclusive, The Price Is Right Fortune Pick! BetMDM and Game Sense remind you to play responsibly, 19 plus the wager, Ontario only, please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-53-1-2600 to speak to an advisor. Free of charge, BetMDM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario.
I told you that and I loved it, babe. More of that, please. The Joker, did you spend a lot of time in England? By chance?
Why is that? Alfred, he's English. Alfred talks more like this. Why is Alfred from England?
Because once you get so rich and so fancy, you start being born from there, and you're born into the world. Wow, that was creepy. I felt like he was really here. Why did you do Jaws 4?
I did it for the money, alright. There's a block, must have filmed, and another one came, and another one came. I need to pay Alamo. Yeah, it's BetMDM!
I'm Boom! That bolt is totally Boom! It's Do-It-E-Boom! Now now we can back up!
Do the show! Welcome to the show, I'm BetMDM! I'm Boom! Yeah, finally.
We're here. Uh, Jason's been busy doing comedy. He thinks he's going to be a comedian. No, that's a real joke.
Good luck, asshole. Yeah, so in the meantime, I'm going to be here coming to you live, or pre-recorded. It doesn't really matter for me. After this, I'm going to be going back to my cave, or Alfred's going to be washing the jizz off my toes.
He keeps coming in my socks. I have questions about almost everything you've just said. That's fair. Why is Alfred washing your jizz?
And why is there so much jizz? He doesn't have a lot of friends, because he has to stay private for my sake, so he can be anonymous. Because I'm not always Batman. He's been a very close friend to you, so...
He has. Maybe a little too close. He was a grown man who spent an inordinate amount of time in privacy with a young boy. It's my only parents to look out for him.
It's definitely weird. Yeah, but... You've seen fit to replicate the up-raising you do when to find your old young boy to be your best friend. I'm speaking of course of Robin.
Who you outfitted on these? Right. I don't like you anymore. I never did.
Right. We could agree a lot of things, man. We are classic friend of these. Right.
Yes, that's what that is. I don't know if you know this, man. One time I was at a Sikh Freedom Roy show, and I sounded for a joke. I sounded the bat whistle, and it made Monte Carlo eat Roy.
That was the one Sikh Freedom Roy performance I enjoyed. Me too. I always wanted to see them. For enemies.
Devoured. On their own stage. Victims of their own devices. It's not like they didn't have it coming.
No. Yeah. So, the Jews. Yeah.
Well, at first I thought, Alfred, did you wash my socks? Because these are crusty. And I could feel the crusty in my bat beuts. And then it took some time.
But eventually he admitted that he was coming in my socks. Was this a revenge juice? Well, he does have to clean up for me. I figure you get me food.
Good food. He's good cook. You see the one who actually makes the food. I guess I was assuming it was more than one person.
You all have to all reputedly Gotham's most eligible billionaire. Right. Right. Yeah, I never thought about it.
He always makes it out like he made it. Yeah, probably not. But the wenches. I live a lot.
I live a lot. As you know, wenches. A lot of wenches. Wenches.
I sleep with a lot of women. Because we were talking medieval times. No. No, I sleep with a lot of women because when I'm not Batman, I'm somebody else.
And one of these days marked my words, I will uncover your secret identity. It's so good and possible to figure out what of Gotham's incredibly fit billionaire playboys who's often inexplicably missing. You might be. Good luck, Bane.
Good luck. Bad, bad, good evening, fellow. But I always need those ladies to be kicked out so that I can switch from that guy to this. You understand?
Yes. I always get some out. I see. I see.
I have a fruit basket. No, get your sory skank ass out of here. I think he does it a lot nicer than that. But I am not so far.
I've received no complaints. And I think I have an Alfred to thank for that. So if he has the jizz and a soccer 2 or 700. A small prize to pay.
That's all I'm saying. I don't know if you know this, but my parents were killed in an alleyway. Oh, do you want to talk about Bad Childhood Jews son of a bitch? I was born into the darkness.
Touche. Well, I spent a lot of time in the dojo. It was dark. Just trying to relate.
Is it wet in the Batcave? Yeah. Baldy. Yeah.
There's bats. Yes. Do they scare you? What do you laugh?
They scare you? They're bad. Hold on. Yeah.
Maybe I'm not a super genius like you. You're telling me there are bats in the Batcave. Yeah, not just me. Oh, I see.
Oh, actual bats. It's a cave just grown man who decided to put on silly costumes like children. Silly. Have you seen your mask?
Have you seen your cape? Right. You look like a hunter of a cord stuck to your face. I'm fairly certain this provides some vital service for keeping me alive.
Possibly extremely tough. But I'm sure you take this thing off. I am. What about your fakey as Michelle Pfeiffer?
Oh, yeah. Well, she's into it. I think that's the main reason I wear it. Michelle Pfeiffer.
Yeah. I stand. No, my mask. Ah.
Yeah. I'm not that good looking without it. I see. Yeah.
It was like during COVID. Everybody was hot. I don't like Ben Affleck. I mean, something else we can 100% agree on.
I want, I live to destroy Batman, but I especially want to kill him. Yeah. I think that's fair. I want to kill him.
I think he might be the worst of all the Batman. Yeah. I think he's the worst. Out of all the men.
Yes. Out of all people. Maybe. I think that his attitude, his, uh, like he's ego, you know?
It's like, who the fuck do you think you are? You know? I just don't understand how I'm supposed to take you seriously as the Cape Crusader when you have a Papa John's gut. Right.
Yeah. What is that? You're a bad damn Batman. Do a sit up.
Right. You are fat. I don't know if you know this Batman. You are, of course, the real Batman.
I'm going to take you on the big screen. I live in the dark. I was born into the dark. I don't know if I've ever told you that.
I have heard that. How does it come up before? I totally defined. It's okay.
You do it with this one. One day I will be reckoning with this. It's good for the fuck. Wow.
Carved down, babe. I'm fine. Right. Look at this piece of shit.
Yeah. Yeah. I've come a long way. Yes.
This was during your sumo diaper era. I believe this is you fighting crime while simultaneously taking a shit in your pants. Yo. Yo.
Robin was especially young in those days. Yeah. Wow. He's a little too young to be fighting crime if you ask me.
Plugged him straight out of cuffs, didn't you? This is a reenactment of my real life. Oh my goodness. Yeah.
I don't know if you know this, but I'm 103. Oh, well, you look terrific. All things considered. What do you want to know of my secret?
Of course I do. It's evolved giz. I know. That's a relief.
I'm the surprise. Fair enough. But I eat the homeless. The young ones.
I get their adrenaline. Yes. Adrenal glands. Oh, yes.
I'm a little crow. I believe we call it. Also, I've been lifting a lot of weights recently. And my armpans don't fit me anymore.
Because I'm so jacked. Two to jack. Yeah. This is a problem, Ben.
I'll never have. No, he's a fat bastard. Absolutely. Moshi Moshi.
He's smoking cigarette. And seriously, you could have sex with J.Lo. That I get. But to marry her just shows what an asshole you are.
Absolutely what a moron. Everyone knows you hit that and quit that. That's the only way you do J.Lo. You do not.
Stay overnight. Now here's a bad man I could get. That's what's up. Can you say that?
She was a terrific bad man. She was. She is bad shit crazy. Oh my goodness.
Yeah. I had sushi with her recently. She does not look good. Much like J.Lo.
You crazy that you don't marry. Yeah. Well, everybody knows that. But I never stayed.
I never stayed tonight. Alfred kicked her ass out every time. How do you do that? I've always wondered you have some sort of a long block on your watch.
Certainly at some point you must be tired enough to accidentally make it until dawn and you're always gone. You did it. Quit it. That I respect about you.
Yeah. Smoke bombs. Yeah. And then I go.
And the smoke bombs are full of monster energy. Oh. So as I smoke out. Fully energized.
I'm pretty hyper about it. I know the dingo. They're not out yet but monsters coming out with infused smoke bombs to give you energy and for you to disappear. Perfect for your white trash getaway.
Yeah. My nose is sweaty. Not a lot of men named Val. I've noticed.
No. Val short for Valter. Valium. Valery.
He has a girl's name. He does. He's a girly guy. I was also partially to Valcoma.
A terrible choice to play Batman. Yeah. He was very good in the Iceman. You can either be.
Well, he was the Iceman. I mean. He is the Iceman. He's pretty gay.
I'm not sitting around with that. And in my old adversary, Niggles. Yeah, George Clooney also. Pretty gay.
Not a fan. No, he wasn't tough enough. And I don't know if you know this bit. If you're going to be me, you need to be tough because you've got to fight people like you.
That's right. He's tough as they got. I was boarded to the door. You know that dark.
Little known fact. It just seems weird that somebody who is, you know, is selling expressive expressive machines but a vesper has a chance of fighting somebody who is boarding the dark. What do you mean he's clearly very strong? Look he appears to have a 27 pack.
That's not his real stomach. That's another critic. You know who else has a fake stomach? Who's that?
The Wolverine. Hugh Jackman. Yeah, he was jacked for the first movie. And now he wears a suit where he's with what's that other bullshit?
Deadpool. Yeah, Deadpool's a bitch. Not a fat man. Yeah, but yeah, he's fat.
So you're saying he's wearing a costume? Yeah, yeah, they're the first one. But that's how it goes. You know, you come in hot, you make a name for yourself, you sit around eating pancakes, sucking cocks.
Now there's anything wrong with it. I love that. He's gay. He's gay.
Oh yeah. I heard rumors. He was shabby gay. He was shabby gay.
I'm the world people that are jutting. Yeah, well, do you ever see the movie, Australia? With Nicole Kidman. Yeah.
Did you really see that? No, I have a man back there. I was going to say that was a booby trap. I almost had you there, but yeah.
Well played. Yeah, he has a shower seat outside where he pours a bucket of water on his buttocks. It's insane. It's the most insane, it's a gay seat.
I've ever seen it. And I've seen some gay shit. What? Would you like a break to pleasure yourself for that image crap?
That's it. Because I have a feeling that's exactly how you like it. That's crazy, brother. Just like the host of this show.
Now anymore. Oh, man, I see. Yeah. Maybe Hugh Jackman is also a result to know that they're almost sexual.
Oh, well, it can't be done. Prize picks is America's number one daily fantasy sports app with over 5 million active members. Prize picks is the easiest and most exciting way to play daily fantasy sports. All you do is pick more or less on two to six player stat projections and watch the winnings roll in.
Prize picks is the only real money daily fantasy platform with an injury insurance policy so that your lineups stay in play even if one of your players gets injured. If your player leaves in the first half and doesn't return, prize picks are still live. So on prize picks, I went on the app and I went less on LeBron James because I believe that I don't really know that much about basketball, but I know that everybody loves LeBron James. And you just think that he's going to do more.
So I'm saying he's going to do less. So I'm looking forward to cashing in on my predictions. Download Prize picks app today and use code Jason Ellis and get 50 bucks instantly when you play $5. That's like a deal.
That's code Jason Ellis on prize picks to get 50 bucks instantly when you play five bucks. Come on, man. Why would you not do that? Like just risk it and then make a bunch of money.
You know, you can turn 50 bucks into. You don't even need to win to receive the $50 bonus. It's guaranteed. Prize picks.
Run your game. Hey, everybody. Jason, I'll show you. From Jason, I'll show you my heart.
I'm pretty awesome. I am a musical genius. I don't know if you know this, but I'm on the Billboard charts because I know music. I know a lot of stuff.
And I got a friend JT and he's got a band called This Saturday. And this Saturday is a band that's like pop punk and a bunch of stuff that I normally wouldn't like. And I like JT. So I listen to it.
And I accidentally listen to the entire album. Check out this Saturday. It's available on iTunes and all the places where you get music. And they got like four albums.
And they got like 52 songs. And so there's a lot of stuff that you can listen to, enjoy. And it's all available where you get music everywhere. And you'll be supporting a guy that's supporting the show.
And it's just one big old thing of harmony. And we all just get along and love each other. And enjoy music. All different genres all coming together.
And JT's band has a lot of different kinds of sounds and stuff. It rocks. It's crazy. And I don't know who he's guitarist.
But he's guitarist as a shredder. And I like to band. I like this. I do.
Just try this Saturday. Check it out, you guys. But I don't think George Clooney actually talks like George Clooney. You what?
I don't think George Clooney actually talks like George Clooney. I think he goes. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
I like to him. I bet most of the time he sounds like Dave Chappelle. Perhaps my theory. That makes sense.
I liked him in those movies with the 11 in it. The 11. Ah, the ocean's 11. Yeah.
OK, but I love him. Julia Roberts. If there's one thing I love it's an overly elaborate plan. Yeah.
To take down an entire city. But you know me. Yeah. It's always handy to have a small Asian too.
They say that. Yeah. Great at some results. Christian Bale.
Christian Bale is the best Batman. I think we have to agree. Yeah, it's pretty obvious. I came this fucking close to destroying him.
You did. I thought you had it. I was fucking for a second day. I said, babe, you've done it.
You are a Gotham's reckoning. I was Batman. And I was like, oh shit. You could be it for a second.
You thought you were completely. I did. I was scared. I had you.
But then I went back into this. With the football field. Oh, that was heavy. I didn't see that.
No. And then you broke my back. I did. Which typically would be a finishing blow.
It's experienced. Right. But as I said, yes, you were born in the dark. But then I went into the snow in the dark.
And also I'm a billionaire. That's got to be more important than the reality steroids. Darkness is all like that. Yeah.
And a robot suit. I'm cheating. I can say that now. Yes.
But I cheated. Well, yeah. There's no useata in Gotham. I may have been a little juice to the gills.
You don't say. Yeah. I noticed the first time you got a hold of my fist. I don't know if you noticed.
I had muscles in my cheeks and those. I don't know if it's obvious on camera. I've cycled off and I've leaned out a tiny bit. Kind of like that.
What's that? I've left it for speed over over bulk. I was getting too big obviously. I think I think I think where I am, this is actually the strongest.
And we'd sort of wait that I've ever been. Right. Because of your speed. Yeah.
What's that wrestling guy that's an actor? He lost weight now. He's a pearl necklace. He's a partista turned into like what is he like 185 pounds?
He was like 300 pounds. And now he has jizzled over his chest anywhere. Some glasses. Yeah.
I'd seen the glasses. I was unfamiliar with the juice. It's pearl necklace. Pearl necklace is his high fashion.
See there it is. See the pearl necklace? I do. I mean, not that as I've said before, this is only wrong with being gay.
But he's gay. You think by symbolically putting a world redone symbol for male ejaculate around your neck and walking around copic you're sitting in a certain kind of sing-blow. Sing-blow. Oh my god.
Excuse me. I have to reboot. I mean, his head is a different size. You know what your head is a different size?
He looks like his own post-manopausal grandmother. He looks like he uses the new him as a tampon. Sorry, a man-pop. Yes, he does look like he might fit inside his own old ass.
Did he make the wrinkles on the top of his head go away? How can you get smaller and make wrinkles go away? How do you make your head wrinkles go away? Did he get a scalp lift?
I want to get a scalp lift. I think you ought to look into it. I mean, I do have the money. You do.
You're a billionaire. Yeah. Got them's most eligible. I've got the list of who you might be narrowed down to.
30-40 guys max. I'm zero-winging all the time. Who could he be? Who could he be?
Good luck. My credit card's a pounce, but that's just a disguise. Oh, yes, of course. I pretend of Jason Ellis.
Right. It's a brilliant disguise. Thank you. Broke fuck Jason Ellis.
That's what they call it. Broke fucking not gay at all. Yeah, that's right. That's the main thing.
That's his nickname in Encino. You know, I've done a lot for Gotham recently. Thinking about getting involved with this Chantini-Cobes case. Okay.
I think that... The Impressario. Yes. He invited me to a lot of sex parties.
How were they? I didn't go. Of course. Not really.
I mean, to women my own age. Me neither. Which is 103. Right.
But I'm thinking about if he gets out. He's not getting out. He could get out. If he gets out.
I'm going to try to have his own lube. No. I heard he has a lot of lube. That's what I heard.
Which means it's going to be fun. Did you hear about the freak parties? Freak what? He had freak gatherings where he had his friends with freak the freaks.
Yeah. We got to stop. We got to stop these... Sorry.
They confiscated thousands of little bottles of lube, which begs the question, does he not know they sell it in bulk? Wait. You can buy enormous vats of lube as you certainly know. Obviously, I get it in suit every day.
Absolutely. Yeah. But if you have a fad of lube, it's like less friendly to give to your teammates. The homies.
Yes. To the homies. When you wheel out of barrel and invite them to grab a handful of lube. Yes.
Yeah. Not the kind of freaky you like to get. No. Not to each their own.
It gets on the floor. Yeah. People slip. I assume he had a dedicated room for this.
Oh yeah. House. I mean, a cave. Another ground layer.
No. Not like that. He could have been a good Batman if he wasn't a monster. Yes.
I would have preferred to have seen him. I'd have been after that. He would have been after that. He would have done better.
He would have done better. Everybody would have done better. He's the worst actor. The world is ever seen.
He is the face of middle-aged sadness. He is acting as to yo-yo's art to sport. Well said. Unnecessary.
You know what I mean? You know who I blame? I'm not Damon. Yes.
We are. Yeah. Oh, look at this son of a bitch. Wow.
Come here, you piece of crap. Where the fuck have you been? My own friend. Best businessman in Gotham is here.
That's it, that's it, that's it. So nice to see you. It's good to have you here, Joker. Better late but never.
Nice to see you as well, Ben. Sorry. I'm late. It's okay.
You're a crazy guy. I have a surprise you showed up at all. Crazy goes on its own schedule, doesn't it? That's how that works?
Well, we have a lot of similarities. All three of us. Sure. trying to ruin Gotham and I'm trying to make Gotham better, but really at the end of the day we're both we're all three of us crazy guys with a lot of problems and we're definitely not scared of the dark.
Sounds like one of us is very scared about the dark. What? I said one of us is very scared of the dark. Who is?
He was born of the dark. Yeah, that's why he wasn't scared of the dark. He's born there. So are you saying I'm scared of the dark?
No, I'm saying none of us are. Oh, right. Are you scared of the dark? He lives in the darkness.
Why are you from Joker? Yeah. Bay own. I'm a part of a silent.
That's pretty dark. Always a light dog. Patid room is very bright there. Right.
I'm always wondering how is the food. Oh, not the best actually. The most obvious sandwiches I can get by on, but the ramen noodles. Absolutely terrible.
I swore after my freshman year I would never eat that shit again. Wow. Who do you think had the best nutrition growing up? Oh, that's the closest I've seen you get to a pussy end of that man.
I fack, I fuck, cat woman like six times. I don't know about that. I think you have my sloppy seconds. Wait, you got a cat woman?
I got a pregnant. Son, if you were really crazy, Joker. Sure am. That is a crazy thing to do.
That's like spending a long time with J-Lo. Once again, I'll say it. You fuck crazy. You don't marry it.
You certainly don't get it pregnant. That's actually a bumper sticker we're working on together. Well said, babe. That is a ridiculous thing to want to do.
So how did you befriend Catwoman? Wow. I think he's busy petting your pussy. Joker.
Joker. What? He's back. How did you get it?
Yeah, I can. Did you just have a flashback? Sometimes I go to the places. What's again, oldest, have a lot of similarities.
We should start a band. What was the name of our band? The Rejects. Right.
Isn't that a band? Well, that's the All-American Rejects. Right. Oh, yeah.
They had a couple of tunes. It really did. I was quite fond of them for a while. That's my jam.
That's a crazy way. You're out of your goddamn minds. You like that? I love that song.
That is terrible. This guy likes AC DC. Don't do that. I like that one song that they did about how much they liked to rock.
It was the mid-tempo one with a bunch of chords that sound kind of like the same thing over and over again. Oh my God. Maybe one day they could make another song that sounds exactly like that. Fuck both you assholes.
That's why I love bandies always on my side. I fucking hate you guys. It's fucking unbelievable we can't beat this piece of shit. Everything.
It's got a ridiculous... How does it keep beating us over and over and over again? It's disgusting. I don't know.
Because most of the time I'm drunk having sex with whores. You're most times sex very, very quickly. Because we're never able to get anything that longer in capacity. It's not like I need to keep them there, you know?
It ain't quite like that. That's right. That's right. That's how I do it.
Yeah, pound sand, Jill and hold. That's what he says. Yeah, and then I get Alfred to kick him out. I think Alfred might stimulate him a little bit so that they come back.
Alfred is probably hunting for a couple seconds. He also gives him checks. Ah! Compensation.
Yeah, sprostitution. Hush money. Still they have to sign way of his when they go to. Yes, they do.
Like Derek Jeter, but darker. Thank you. Hey everybody. This podcast is sponsored by BlueChoo.
The greatest thing invented since, you know what? It's way better than sliced bread. Anybody could make that crap. BlueChoo is innovative and it's the future of erections.
Stand up and respect the game. This isn't your grandpa's blue pill, which I learned the hard way. Literally. Just that way.