Visit BetMDM Casino and check out the newest exclusive the price is right fortune pick BetMDM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly 19 plus the wager Ontario only please play responsibly if you have questions are concerned about your gambling or someone calls to you Please contact connects Ontario at 1 8 6 6 5 3 1 2 600 to speak to an advisor free of charge BetMDM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario Hey everybody Jason else here to stand up on the road everywhere check out my dates this Sunday helium in St. Louisville St. Louis sorry August 18th. It's a Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Pause me the bully a son of a bitch and get a ticket to the gun show v Jason Ellis dot cop everybody Jason Ellis here father grind it's my skateboard company I teach people how to skateboard in a safe way if you're a little bit older you Want to skate you want to get healthy you want to skate with your friends?
Maybe you want to give your kids do you want to do it and not go to hospital? I am the number one greatest skateboard teacher in the world If you guys want to check out the tutorial on how to skateboard I teach the very funny e-in finance even Kim Condon I teach her how to skate father grind I have skateboards I got you get set up to get pad to get everything you need to shred The Jason Ellis father grind skateboard made by Paul Schmidt Tim Barring did the graphics These are the top of the line in the skateboard game This is a top of the line skateboard you want to be cool get one of these so go to father grind calm check it out Take my advice. I got a video on how to skate safely so you can have fun and not go to hospital go to father grind calm I got dumped you know what I can really turn in yeah, I just seem like I do mean you can relate Oh because you keep falling dating gay guys the gays you mean Jason? He's your boss.
I'm not gay He is gay I am not gay you have a thing that blows shit out of your butt It's not anymore. Let me see your girlfriend. I know you're very proud of it the internet shows Showing your girlfriend prematurely is the biggest mistake in comedy history Domest thing you could ever do he does it every time Well, he won't let me show on Instagram because he knows we'll break up the next day So I'm not you know I've been talking about no What you guys just go out with each other because I'm not a man as despite what the media tells you What do you call people gay that I'm gay he is gay. He's not gay.
He's not gay. Yeah, he's not gay You're gay. What if I swore off men forever would you be baby? Don't because your feet are on the ground The second you quit smoking cigarettes You've a what yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Yeah, so I need to talk to see what you mean vaping is the healthy cigarettes I want to quit vaping why don't you because I'm going through a breakup. I need to get some discipline sounds like I'm always going through a break up I Want to Nice now you do it We should start a band right no no instruments Welcome to the show douches Ian and Jordan we've had you here separately welcome back. Yes. Thank you.
Yeah, it's great. I get here In quit smoking today. Mm-hmm. Okay.
Hey guys. Hey guys. Yeah, you got married. It's pretty pretty eventful pre-roll Yeah, I know we're married now finally.
I mean you can sense the sexual tension with you too people just say that because we're a man and a woman No, no, you just use that as an excuse to block the sexual tension that we all see it's not I don't think there's a full tension I think that there is a I think at first it would be uncomfortable because you do seem like brother and sister Yeah, but I also feel like yeah, cuz I feel like you guys you guys are like incestual if we were like brother and sister and like mother and son It could be pretty hot. Yeah, I could do brother sister stuff Other son stuff She's like his angle she could probably do dad That's what marriage all about yeah, just people pretending to be dad and mom Jordan you grew up in a gay world, right lesbians yes, same thing yes I grew up raised by a pack of sexual deviance and is that why you have such a bad attitude towards gay guys? Gay guy no, I just have a bad yeah, no thank you for my mom's my mom who raised me that my electrical mom is like very masculine My dad is very masculine. So anybody feminine.
We're kind of not we're kind of out on I'm Helping chip away at that because I'm a masculine feminine masculine. Yeah, feminine It is like in our family like it with a bit of a weakness, right? And I don't want to feel like that I do feel like that That's why I'm not attracted to women my life would be a lot better for us within there like let me break your hand My life would be so much better if I was attracted to men than my friends Yeah, and not just you know like a guy named like you know demerikos. Yeah, those are the yeah whenever you are attracted to a guy That's girly.
It's a bad idea same as if you're attracted to a girl guys are better to date everybody knows that we're just more laid back Well, I was better today. I wish I could date my best friend Justin quit smoking and it's yours. Yeah quit smoking. We're married.
What's our ring of you eight? It's a big finger Yeah, I might be smaller now. I do I now pronounce you gay. Oh, he's not he's had cigarettes in his pocket.
Oh I Mean he's wearing let me just come over on hard right now. He really loves that She gave me the more bro replacement because I had one and it worn out and I take its wearing out because I would in the pool Yeah, every day I stay here I wake up and jump naked in the Yeah, I mean you the next thing that's including that box. I'm making the necklace that made you cry when she gave it to you Oh, yeah, that's true to that was adorable. You know you guys are freaking cute.
No, we are very cute He saves me a lot on the internet from people who are more like her. Yeah, no protect you always people are mean to you on the internet Why what a day trans people right wait you don't like trans people. I don't know what don't worry about it I have trans friends so do I but that's like saying you got black friends are about to say something racist which she doesn't have any No The boys name them God damn it's hot in here taking a close off It's not that hot you just have to relax a little bit you take it off and show your bulkhead. Oh, wow that's gonna feel a lot better I would marry her I'd keep smoking It is better.
Yeah, and Jason's like 30% of heat Jason's helping me get skinny. So I'm gonna take my shirt off a lot more Yeah, get ready on the raw diet animal based. Yeah, what is animal based? Listen, it's a diet that is better for your body and your brain.
Say what it is. Don't give me the PhD. Sorry. What is it?
What do I do? I'm going to do? I'll show you what to do. I'm going to do.
Yeah, what is it? You're almost a dude. So I don't have no problems lapping you Would you I've seen you hit pads it wouldn't be that difficult for me to land on it's not a coat you can't tell the difference between You being a girl or boy. Yeah, you do look fitter though.
What is the animal based? It's great. It's grass-fed beef Yeah, and sweet potatoes. Yeah avocados.
Yeah, you can have eggs. They gotta be free range. Yeah raw dairy Yeah, you can have any enough fruit. Yeah, it's holes in there now and don't do it.
What the f***? You need vegetable? What's a sweet potato? How often do you shit?
What's a month? You you pull regularly and very efficiently Never say the word poo to me again. Can I tell you poo ass no that is you are listen poo poo poo poo poo poo You can't do nothing to me. You can't touch me.
I can't I will light you up. How? Slaps, bro. Okay, I'll switch it.
Put it on this. Open purple and twist. Can I tell you less I will. Wait, what about you can have salad?
I will sit down. No, it is for the week. Here's the thing. What is your beef against salad?
What is your problem with salad? It's not in the diet. I don't have a problem with salad personally. Like if you eat a salad, I don't get angry or anything.
It's just not in the diet. And I don't know the science behind it. I just do. This is, I am the science.
Oh, you're going to die. You need vegetables. You don't know stuff. You're not as fit as me.
It doesn't matter how it does. It does. I'm fitter than you. But I'm going to know.
You don't know anything. I want in your world you write money and write a thing in there that says if I die before Jordan, you're going to die. You're going to die. You're going to die.
You're going to die in 10 years. The vape pen. The vape pen. Just.
You're like a smart dumb person. That's true. That is true. That is actually very accurate.
Yeah. Oh, really? It's like a nice stuff. You need vegetables.
You need fiber to run through your body or else you get stagnant. Ever since I started eating a diet. What is it? Sweet potato.
My first arm is it. I had the best poo. It is a tuber. It is a vegetable.
It's a tuber. With the most nutrition out of any vegetable. I agree. It's my favorite food.
I love them today. I mean you can do the animal based diet. I know I'm already doing it. But the one thing I say is you need to add greens in there.
Because it helps get it out so you don't get all that fat and all the stuff from the animal stuck in there. You just think that it's like old school. The food pyramid. No, it's not old school.
We've been eating vegetables since we were pillaging. Since we were doing them foraging. Okay. You've got to do whatever works for you.
Can I please just say that you haven't started eating your diet. I had the best B.M. on my life last night. Yeah, I've been having good B.M.
So it is a good diet, but you do you agree? I mean it was so solid. And remember the park? That was a four flush water shit.
What happened in the park? You have been having really hard times with your poop. So that's a big game. I know.
I don't want to talk about it, but I will. I was hemorrhoid bleeding off and on for a couple months. And then when I started this diet, it hasn't happened. So I was going to do it for a month just to make my coach happy and I haven't changed.
Were they indoor or outdoor hemorrhoids? Outdoor. Yeah. And indoor.
That's my name growing up. My mom called me hemorrhoid. Really? My mom called me shithead.
I just wanted love. I didn't get that. I feel strong. I feel stronger now.
So you guys enjoy Los Angeles? Yeah. I love LA. Also staying here helps.
I was going to say. Yeah. That's a big part of it. It's pretty cool.
Dude, it's the best. I don't want to give it up. I got to give it up. What are you going?
You can't afford it. Really? Yeah. Is that to let you do it?
I do a job. I do like a clip person and a social media guy. Now that I can be your personal trainer because you need one. I have one.
Yeah. But then I like it. She's better than you. She doesn't know how to box.
Yeah, she does. She's won a bunch of stuff. Yeah, congratulations. The animosity going on right now is cutting through the thing.
You weren't here when she was here by herself. Really? Yeah. I was pretty sure she hated me.
Really? I didn't hate you. Why? The feelings mutual.
Why do you hate my friend, Jason? Why do you hate my friend Jordan? I'm just trying to keep up with it. I don't hate him.
I started being mean to him at... Since I started talking to him. Florida? Yeah, Florida.
That's what I decided to do. Me too. Because you had this game. I just kind of made up my mind that I was going to be a dick to this guy.
It was like a giant marble. I was like, nice necklace. And you're like, thanks. It's technically an opal that means love and connection.
I was like, oh, you're going to be the subject of my wrath. Wait, did I say that? Fair enough. I hate that necklace now too.
Really? It's not very good. We should throw it in the river. I bought it with a witch.
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See Mint Mobile for details. Do you need to do the fog machine? No! No!
Maybe call it. It's that easy. Do you need to put more furniture on your front lawn that you don't use? Wait, is it furniture on the front lawn?
The furniture is nice. I don't know. Wait, so where are you going to move? Like 15 minutes away hopefully.
For way less money? Yeah. Really? Are you going to have a studio in the house?
Yeah. It's a good place. It sounds sick. Cool?
Yeah, maybe. But it's one of those things where it's not a god. It's not a god. If they let me, then, great, but I don't know yet.
Because of the way you look and talk? They might not. Maybe? Yeah.
You understand what it's like being judged for the way you look right? Yeah. I want to approach her, but she's so hot. I feel intimidated.
What do you think they think they say that to me? They say I wish I could talk to you, but my eyes hurt because of the glow that you're casting. But when you get close, you can see the kind of eyes. Yeah.
Yeah. But from a distance, we do look like ourselves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I can tell.
You're a beautiful person inside. You're scared. And you're very fragile. And that's why you're so popular.
You're making me hate you more. I don't care. Does that mean Ian's strong inside? Because he's just a gay gay guy on the outside.
Yeah, it does. He's stronger than you inside. That's for sure. Wow.
Hey, he's a lot more secure. That's true. Anybody's more secure than me. Agreed.
Yeah. You'll be alright. You'll get there one day. Yeah.
She's doing better. Yeah. She's making a lot of progress. How am I doing better?
I tell you all the time. I'm proud of you and you're doing great. You're getting fitter. You're not puffed up.
You're like a big Joella. Yeah, but assholes are assholes for a deeper reason. Bock, bock, bock. No.
No, I think I think at the end of the day you just sort of be held in forehead kissed. Yeah. Remember that clip of DMX on like celebrity rehab where he was just crying and saying that? She's like a female DMX.
The whole time with his mom, he just wanted to be able to call her mom, but she didn't want to be a mom. So she insisted that he call her like by her name like Gina or something. He was just like, I just wanted to be honest. DMX is the toughest man he's free.
Oh, I just wanted to call her mommy. Mommy. No, I'm not the DMX in each order. You have a huge pussy.
I also think I don't know about the pussy. You still know that? You still know that? Underwear the skinny?
Yeah. Like I don't know when that's for. You might be talking about the skinning underwear in the pussy. Yeah.
You still know that on Instagram. I don't know how to get away with that. I was talking about this the other day. There are there's showing boobs and pussies on Instagram real quick.
So you have to pause it. But when you try to pause it, you like it and then you have to watch it a bunch to get the pause. Right. So it makes it get views up and it makes you like.
That's probably proposing it though. Right. But at the same time, you can clearly see a pussy. Why is that okay?
I'm not going to talk about the vaccine or say the word sex will get dinged. Yeah. It's like don't show the pussy and don't have a say sex or let us say sex and like a pussy show. Oh, yeah.
Well, you are DMX. You can say it. God, I want to say it. I want to say it so I can say when it's cloudy out and it's about to rain, I can go tuck, tuck.
And we're tuck, tuck. What? You know how many of you would go tuck, tuck, it looks like rain. I want to say tuck, tuck.
It's a real convoluted way to want to say the only thing I want to say. Yeah, I want to say it in like lines. Can you say it if you're singing along to a song? I say it all the time by myself.
See, I don't do that. I call him that. I don't. He's gay.
So I call him an f-bomb and an n-bomb. Oh, wow. You got to go n-bomb first. Yeah.
And then we both laugh. That's fun. It's pretty cute. My friends have made me say it before.
Yeah. Oh, one time I fought a guy and he and then he's like, fight my friend. They're both black people. And he goes, when you're fighting my friend, call him a bitch ass n-bomb.
And I was like, I don't know your friend. He's like, just do it. It'll be funny. And I don't feel comfortable doing that.
And he's like, don't be such a pussy. Do it. And then I did it. And then he's like, ah.
And then they both laughed. But I felt uncomfortable. Oh, wow. Dude, my friends ganged up on me one night and were just going in on me over and over for 20 minutes just so like trying to get me to say it said so many like horrible things about my appearance in me.
We're all laughing. I think it's a dog well. She's trying to get a dog. Oh, yeah.
Nobody can stop it. What was I saying? You were talking about being a mindlessly spewing racial epithets. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.
No, they were going in on me. And then they said something about my dad and I was like, you're all being a bunch of fucking and I said it when they died laughing. It was like so funny, we all laughed. And then my buddy pitched that as a sketch in the writer's room on Michael Chase's show and used my name and told them, and everybody's like, ready, stop.
We, likey, and we don't wanna hear anymore. Why would you tell us that? And he was like, well, it was funny. Dude, it's really, it's kinda tough.
One time I was, Jason, you'll know who I was talking about. I went to a concert against my better judgment of somebody that I know about, without being in the room, I know for a fact that they use that word freely, and they do not have permission to use that word freely. And I mentioned it, I got free tickets, and I really wanted to go and I told my friend. I was like, honestly, I'm saying goodbye to this artist and I think they're a huge scumbag.
I like their work. Who is it? I'll tell you later. Because I can't prove it.
What the hell is that? Does that make battleship? Exactly. Let's go.
So we went and I was like, stop. So we laughed and I go, so that's it. I think I'm done. I don't wanna support this guy anymore.
I got my one show and I'm good. And my friend goes, wait, what did he do that was so bad? I was like somebody that I know was there. And he said blah, blah, blah, and I just repeated it.
And I swear to God, I think ever since then, my friend has thought a little bit less of me because I actually said it, rather than saying inward. And it's like, come on, where's the line now? That's been my hinge opening. I've been on hinge and I say, I say the inward sometimes if that's cool, it's cool.
Well, you know where you stand with somebody. Yeah. How's it working on hinge? It's going great.
It's just me swiping looking for my ex all the time. What is your deal? I'm a broken child. You don't wanna try something different?
I don't like change. Yeah, sensing that seems ridiculous. You should just go for the complete opposite just to see what happens. Oh, what, like a real man?
No, I love that you don't like him. No, I hate him. Yeah, because you know he's bad for her. Yeah, and you keep doing stupid stuff like going back to him.
You're better than that, John. Do you know that? No, you don't know me. You don't see what I do when I'm alone.
You're a terrible person. No, I'm a dry and that's quick. I got a container. I thought some of that.
No milk. That's awesome. I dip sticks of butter in an old bay and eat it like a lollipop. I think that's cool.
Stop. You start the Nesquik. That's really fucked up. I feel like it's better.
It's like in Australia where you said Milo and I used to do that. What's Milo? Milo is like a strain Nesquik. And I used to put a little bit of milk and then I'd just put all my much much of that mud.
I used to eat it with a spoon. Oh, wow. Screw everybody. I used to get a couple of my remakes from mud because I'd leave it and it's cakes on.
It makes like a plaster. Did you make mud in my house when you were here the first time? No. That was my daughter.
You have a daughter? I got two kids. What? Yeah, 19 year old and a 15 year old.
Do they like you? Yeah, fair enough question though. They do like you? Why would they like their mom?
Because he's gay and stuff. Sorry, sorry. That's not nice. I don't know what bothered me.
Why? I would want my sexual parents. I'd be like your pervert. You know why she feels this way because you hear dad rumble bean just beat your dog up.
Did you get a potato? Coyote come. Oh, look at rumble. Owning the house.
Keep up with my room. He's not happy. It's a turf war out there. Look at him.
Oh, here he comes. Now he heard a noise he's scared. He's going to do it. Oh, he's nervous.
He's a pink guy. Just don't hear. He's a pink guy. He's going to regulate.
Like an angry squirrel. She's happy. She's accused of it. It's crazy.
You fly with your dog again? I do, yes. Do you take precautions or do you just know for a fact that your dog is not going to be annoying? I have like stuff that will knock her out.
I have pills or I have like just treats that make her chill. But she's also been doing it since she was seven weeks. You want to give her some now? No.
She's fine now. Your cat's the monster that went after her. It's my cat's house. Yeah.
Okay, well your cat could be a better host and not attack a visitor. Maybe my cat senses that your dog has a bad attitude and needs a spanking. No, my dog doesn't need a spanking. He was just trying to say hello.
I think it needs a bitch lap and just like a gut. And it yelps. That totally fine with the bitch lap. I'm okay with that.
Telly hates people that bring dogs on the plane. Really? Yeah. He's always said that.
Kinda. No, no, no, no. It's totally I'm a nightmare. Yeah.
At the airport she lets a dog. Dogs all flee throughout the airport. Runs around, gets into stuff. I walk up to her Friday and you're looking for your dog and security was like, man, you need to have the dog and it was like, no, she's not other people.
Don't be as fine. I didn't choose this. I like being a comedian but I didn't fucking know that my life was going to be half an airplane. Living in a hotel, waking up, not knowing where I am, spending all my time in airports.
So yeah, I'm going to bring my buddy around and we're going to be able to live in a little airports. I know. I'm saying like if I want my life to be having a dog playing outside being in the woods, so I'm going to make the airport the woods. Have you been to the woods recently?
I was just in the woods for days. I was never in the woods recently but I grew up in the woods and I just started going to the woods. I've been in a river three times in the last week and I've got to tell you. Up and oh hi.
Yeah, I had sex in a river this time. What? Are you worried about stuffing your pee hole? It's not the Amazon, you dumbass.
There are things that go there. Not tadpoles. Jesus. There's nothing, it's got a hog.
I imagine your pee hole most of the day. You don't like it? Yeah, so, get a problem with that. He's got a huge hog.
What? Like, and he always wears weenie vendors. Banana hammocks. Oh.
I don't. Yeah, you do. He's just lying. No, I don't know.
Showing it off. Sometimes I wear them in the house by myself. I came over the other night, I didn't see him in a week. I go, hey Jason, he goes shake his hand first.
You have a freaking hog boy that I understood. So, you have a giant hog? Yeah. Two daughters.
Why do I feel like that? Everything else that I stand for, you hate but the giant hug, you're like okay. She's starting to like you now, now that she knows you have a big one. Yes, yes.
And you have two daughters. Two children. No, a daughter and a son. Oh, a daughter and a son.
Oh, my daughter doesn't do any of it. She's scared when she was a little girl and then when she grew up she was a girly girl. She doesn't have any interest in that. You hate her.
My son. If you hang out with my son, if you want to sparring tonight he'll beat the shit out of you. Really? He's going to beat up here tonight.
Not my face. The person that's going to move around with you the most is going to be me. I'll take care of you. You have had gear for him?
Yeah. An amount of peace. I already told the coach it's all taken care of. Cool.
You'll be in seconds. I sparred the other day. I felt weird. Why?
Just getting your head to the head so much afterwards you're a little like. Really? It's really fun. I'm going to get so winded.
Dude, you get winded. My trainer kind of going to be like calm down. Because you get so into it the next thing you know you're like a dog. Everybody who started they hold their breath when they punch.
Yeah, you hold their breath. You're supposed to go. And when you don't know. What are your favorite chips?
You've got to be relaxed when you're fired. I've got that right now. It's a regional thing. What kind of chips don't you like Jordan?
What do you like? Pringles. That's chips. We're kind of at it.
You don't have to worry about him. I'm pretty casual then. Yeah, but the wilderness is like I feel like I forgot about it because I was in the city doing all this other bullshit. It's a beautiful thing.
Yeah, I feel like going out in the city is for losers. If you go to the mall you suck balls and consuming shit is like a waste of time. And the river taught me that. Wow, I've never heard that before.
Consumerism is bad. So that's good. I've got a huge hug. I know what I'm talking about.
Yeah, but I didn't realize this when my girlfriend is like a bit of a native American and she knows all this stuff about flowers and all these other things. I was learning some stuff today. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, things are growing out of the ground.
And like depending on the way the world is, there's like things you can like take and rub on your stuff that's like good for your skin and stuff and allergies and all kinds of stuff. Really? It's like the planet knows what we want. Wow.
We're denying it by being consumers. Did you know that? Yep, I had an idea. Oh, let it out.
Oh my God, the planet is a good thing that provides for us that we should foster as an entity and mother guy you don't say. Well, you think you know it but you don't act like you do. I do. I'm not.
I'm stuck on that vape in there. Listen to me. You love big pharma. I don't like big pharma.
I like Prozac. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, your cigarettes are more natural than the vape. I mean, just barely.
Yeah, no, it's pretty much a lose lose all the way around. But still, if you really want to compare it, I mean, it is a machine that's pumping the smoke into your lungs versus his lungs are sucking the poison in. Mm-hmm. It kind of works.
You should smoke weed if you really want to be natural. Oh, I hate that shit. It's a plant. No, it's not.
Yeah, no, I agree. I mean, the idea is that after it gets put through the pesticides and everything that the government and people are doing to it, it's no longer. What about you? What did you just say that does not apply to tobacco and then some?
We're both addicted to tobacco. We're both hypocrites. You know, my grandparents used to drive me. We used to go to Amish Country and on the way up, we would take tobacco leaves and my grandfather would hang them in the garage and he'd roll them and make little cigars.
I would do that. I just can't be bothered, but I would do that. I don't really want to smoke weed them because I like having oxygen. I love oxygen.
I like being beat up and there's nothing worse than when you're beating someone up and then you're too tired to punch them in the face anymore. And I really don't. Or when somebody's beating you up and you don't have oxygen to get out of the way and people keep beating you up because you're tired. I don't like that.
So I like this whole, because I smoke weed all day every day and since I've stopped smoking weed, I have crazy cardio now. And I like to not every Tuesday night, I just beat people up. It's freaking fun. Oh, I'm excited.
It's a good time. I thoroughly enjoy it. How often do you box now? I probably hit pads like three days a week and then I spar once a week.
Nice. But do you ever fight? No, I'm not. Oh, yeah.
I've never tried. Nice. I've got to watch the brain. I've hit my brain.
I'm doing exceptionally well, considering how many times I've been knocked out from like Moto cars and fighting and all that stuff. Skateboarding too. What is Moto cars? Like my...
I got knocked out right across the lot. I got knocked out racing cars. I got knocked out fighting. Why racing cars?
Because I got asked to race cars and then I got into racing cars and I raced like outdoor jumps in cars and sometimes the car will roll and it'll roll so much that you're braids. It's good to see but it's good like 5.5 and everything but your brain gets mushed around. You're going to hell, Nick. Oh, yeah.
You got everything on. But when you roll at 80 mile an hour it like washes your brain around and you get a concussion straight up. How many concussions do you think you've had? Over 30.
No. I've been snored like 15 times. Do you have 16? Really?
You think? Probably but I'm one of those people that just seems to be okay with it. Yeah. I put it down too.
I've done so much drugs in my life that now that I'm sober my brain's like, I didn't know you had that and then the brain damage that like it's just evened out. Because usually by 50 you can tell you have signs where you're like slurring and stuff like that. But I've never been sharper. So I think I might.