Jordan Utley -An exercise of faith, from a faithless person

I was born and raised in the Mormon church in Salt Lake City, Utah, the church’s headquarters. With the church dominating the state’s population and politics, the cultural atmosphere shapes much of the identity of those who grow up in Utah. When you leave the church, you can feel like a pariah, cut off from the central structures of your community, and everything becomes cast in ambiguity. This sense of uncertainty and dislocation has seeped into the way I photograph and the subjects I am drawn to. My work often reflects this tension between belonging and isolation, transcendance and being lost. One of my main focuses has been a long-term project centered on these themes. I'm fascinated by the idea that every light casts a shadow. Seemingly almost everything in Utah has a strong religious undercurrent. It seems like there is irony and metaphor everywhere. It’s a strange place. A peculiar beauty. Light, faith, darkness, doubt, rigidity, tradition, ceremony, all dancing. As time has gone by, I have taken on additional projects, yet many of the same themes reappear in my work. Ambiguity seems to permeate everything and I find myself gravitating towards subjects who, like me, are grappling with their own uncertainties. Because it’s not just religion we grapple with, it's this land, America as a whole. We are individuals who are suspended between worlds—navigating transitions, facing contradictions, or standing at the crossroads of identity and belief, ethos. Talking about it now is almost awkward. The tale you tell yourself as a photographer, as to what you are photographing and why? Is often just a reflection of how you feel, and what fires you have walked through. We are all wrestling with our histories, our gods, our pasts, the altars we pray at. My work is an attempt at resolution. An exercise of faith, from a faithless person. https://jordanutley.com/ Text: Jordan Utley Voice: Chris (AI) + info www.audiotecafotografica.com