I'm ready cuz I'm just ready Three two Dragon breath broken what I gotta do it's a guy gotta do to get a half decent fog machine I'm gonna be these days eat a fat one nice shoes, Michael. Thank you. We gotta get these Yeah, I like new balance and it's like no, I don't actually like these my wife picked them up for me She was in Japan. So it's like when your kids give you like a stupid tie I gotta like my kids give me stupid like buddy the elf socks So I gotta be like when can I wear these that will maximize them seeing me where these that's cute Yeah, so I had to wear I don't hate them, but I would not choose these but they did travel But it's like you're not trying to get any Thank you for pointing out how completely unblankable I am well no I meant like you're not attempting to cuz you have a wife She picks the shoes and she sees those new bounds.
I like whoa. Yeah now. She's got a coffee I'll be wearing nothing but these shoes come in so it makes sense that you'd wear them the shoes you get laid in most That's right. Yes, that's right.
Yes. I'm sure it's my sex. No, no, no, no. No, I don't I just wrote pretty fully rather quickly Yeah, I don't mind the socks I never got why that was a thing, but I take them off because it is such a Whoa, did I do that for my sock talk?
Can you pass me the remote before we all die? Wow dirty talk welcome to the Jason Elis We got it going on over here. Oh my boy. It is going off to wait.
She can't find it. We can die Oh my god, that's so funny It just went because it was like wow that's so funny Now you're supposed to turn it on before the show starts that's what that was They have to like warm up like a whole television. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so they are weird new balances though agreed They got a big bottom bit. Huh?
They do like an extra picture. Yeah, what's the bottom big called the soul? Yeah, it is very thick. Yeah, you got good shoes on Josh.
I don't want to talk about these why not Girl gave me these nothing. I feel like I shouldn't wear them because it's like I feel like you know I feel like we're all terrible and useless. It's like people try to crap on women Not some people do but like everything that I have on that's cool a woman suggested Yeah, I mean she bought me these and I thought like we were dating and it was like you bought me shoes My mom is even bought me shoes and she's like we're just having fun. Yeah, she rich.
Yeah. Yeah cool. Yeah, it's cool I've always wanted to I would do it now I feel like my only chance is to marry a really rich old person someone was like she hates you though You shouldn't wear those so she like see wait She the person that gave you those shoes that you had sexual relations with hate you yeah because I liked her too much No, it's not really the reason I swear to cry when you like somebody so much do you like say bad things to them? No, that's the thing I never said anything negative or like anything even remotely was just literally I annoyed her to the point of like Disgust by being super nice too nice.
Yeah, you did that. Yeah, you didn't like text very often or anything Oh, no, I well not I mean like I was but it was part of the rate like she was texting back But then like when she decided it was done. I was still like so what's going on? You know what I'm saying you're in denial.
Yeah, you started to become creepy probably in her I didn't realize that it was creepy. I mean she said that she's breaking enough and you just kept hanging out like Yeah, yeah, I kind of had enough to see that and it was long distance. So texting is a version of that I see that constantly not constantly but just enough that it was like what the hell yeah You just couldn't let it go she bought me shoes. Is that why you couldn't let it go or was she I was a lot of things.
Was she hot. She was very pretty. I hate people I just wish I could tell my penis to agree. Yeah, I mean I I've been lucky.
I mean yeah No, that's she was very pretty you do we just said you're lucky you do do well I said do do I have to you do well with the women I get something I mean I don't want to say that It's not that I was doing well I would have a lady buying me new balances right now and I wouldn't have to care about any of the Kids I think I would like one. Oh, okay. I don't know. I mean a lot of growing up Have you met any recently?
Well, that's the thing I don't like other people's I'll tell you that but I think if it was mine It would be a different story. That sounds crazy. That sounds insane, but you're absolutely right I don't like anybody else and also I mean spending time with other people's kids It's like I could do it for an hour. You know, but after that I'm like how much longer can I go soon?
I coach they don't have you know, they're lame I coach accidentally a YMCA basketball game this weekend like the coach didn't show up So I just got stuck doing it and a fresh reminder that other kids children are terrible. Yeah, yeah Can't tell you a funny terrible story though from it. Hell yeah That's our last name to one and a So there were there were six kids who showed up for the game Four of them were three of them were Caucasian one of them was half Caucasian my sons half Japanese and they were two children of color And but they were reversible jerseys every week you show up You're the blue shirt or the white shirt and I didn't I don't know any of their names So I said really loud one time to one of the kids not of color pass it to one of the white guys Yeah, and then only after I'd verbalize that and I'll actually non-white Jim did I realize that that could be taken? But you may you may watch Josie that did not like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no That's so funny though. It's you know why kids started the game on the bench and we're currently there There's someone there's someone they were the last two who showed up I just did it by based on who they showed up and they showed up there is someone looking at their phone that just was like What and then they look up and they go oh team white is playing I hate the whole cancel culture You can't say anything but it does plant something in your head that just never would have occurred to me ten years ago There's like oh, it's a there's a one percent chance This could actually be a situation for absolutely no reason I could be the guy getting death threats in my Twitter from Sure, I mean not even that like I'm sure they look up and they have a realization But even they say themselves what a world that it's become where I have to go huh and make sure that's not some guy like looking For the dollar general, you know what I'm saying? No Well, no, I didn't want to say it for YouTube, but you know there's like a shoot a guy targeted a Dollar generally it doesn't matter Recently I saw that a little girl cries get a piece of glass. Yes, I will change this up I'm trying to just hang on and I feel like if you do that.
That's not helping. Sorry Yeah, I could be wrong, but I don't know. I just got kicked. I keep getting my Facebook taken over by somebody Oh, that's true.
Yeah, I don't know why I forgot. Yeah, this is my business. Yeah, yeah, like what do you mean? It's it's just like nothing you can do.
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Hell. Yes, so do I discover your options at blue chew calm chew it and do it And we've got special deal for our listeners try blue chew free when you use our promo code LS at checkout Just pay five dollars shipping that's blue chew calm promo code LS to receive your first month free, bro Totally free visit blue chew calm for more details important safety information and we thank blue chew for sponsoring the podcast Shock was that when you came over here and realized like aesthetically you line up with like a certain ilk of people that don't exist in Australia, you know what I'm saying no like a you know like with the Rapper snobber. Yeah Like yeah, yeah, yeah, was that was that were you like shocked when you go you're like these people do this what the fuck like that was like Like no, I shot culture shot thing. No, I was a I'd seen movies.
I was aware of everybody's Discrimination around the world and I knew that yeah, I've been in rooms for sure with people where they've said you know Things are my uh, but I'm not I've always been that person if you say that stuff. I just call you out right there in there I'm not gonna hide don't care if you'll beat me up you're not saying it in my if I'm in the room like you need to know I'm not cool with it sure I don't really care about I think everyone's just following each other I don't think a lot of people really mean it they just say it because it seems to be the thing that's cool to say around that town I make sense. I don't know if people really want to wish evil things upon gays and Mexicans and stuff I don't know that's how I want to live anyway. That's a good.
I it's a good way to hope for it I just think people get stuck in their little group thing and you all got to say the same thing and you know Cuz your dad said it and your grandma said it, you know, everyone at school says it It's like have what kind of a mind figures out how to say their own thing it's it with all those people They're telling you to think one way yeah, it takes a lot, you know for somebody to wake up I Think is it might be it's like wait a minute Maybe you all aren't looking out for my best interest Maybe you're all looking out for yourselves and it looks like it really does look like that seems like some of this isn't real It's been such a long time we've been around science and all these things that keep popping up And I just you know the Lord thing keeps looking worse and worse It's a weird it's like the Lord to that you know the Lord of the land because of the Lord and Mike you got no proof You know you got not one proof. Oh you're saying like religion Yeah, and it's just ruling us you know the rules are from like a fake guy Yeah, you made up to like control people come on you got fearing man Josh bonner. No Right on brother You know even it gets you from the darnest places I was reading a story today about some girl that survived the shark attack Yeah, and she was just saying that you know she loves going in the ocean and she goes scalloping and she goes surfing I didn't see she said she won't let the shark attack. Yeah, she lost her leg and she just went back into the water Right, but she was saying she was in there.
She never saw it. She thinks it was a bull shark She said that she they always did she tried to like punch it in the nose. She got it in the eye She said you know video like let me see the shots eye well She said even in the moment she's like it's amazing how you can think so many things so fast She was like the I was gooey it was gross even as I was losing my leg I was like you gross. Yeah, but just in her statement, which was cool and inspirational She was like and I was just thinking of the Lord and I'm like, oh, right?
Oh my god, really even as the animal was attacking you you were looking for magic space guy Well, I think if there's a time you ever look I guess would be while the animals eating it, but yeah I uh it's a good point. I'd be friend to merman before I prayed to the Lord I don't know what we're me getting in my shark to think of merman that would be great me Jason I think he might be crazy Like maybe there is a floating guy that could give you a break You know like so you do want to lean on it But you also if you really want to live in this world Don't lean on that one too much because you might have you could have just done some evasive maneuvers instead of asking for a miracle Yeah, what are the chances that you get the miracle? You know cuz none of us are really that special not enough to make God shut down all the rest of his work And he's doing all day, you know, and we all know right I was gonna shark eat to sedesis. I said you know cuz I was my mom called me a miracle baby Why I'm because I was born pretty mature and I like lived through that and I was like so depressed when she called me that cuz it was like Well, you don't get two of those so the rest of the time I'm just like there's no miracle happening to me ever Right the case right right the rest of the world everyone's like maybe there's one But like she's saying I got it out of the way just to like get to day two or whatever right so if a shark was gonna eat you You already had your shot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah second one man. That's under step to bummer Yeah, exactly. I think I've pushed it to so maybe he is looking out for me cuz there's been a couple where I was like yeah That was uh that was 50 50 and I got the good side. I'll say this I'd like to hope there's something going on But I don't know what it is.
I'm never gonna pretend to know what it is I don't think anyone else knows what it is So I'm not gonna listen to what they have to say about it either But so like I think religion is silly and I don't like the ideas of it at all I'm happy to have power or whatever. I don't I don't know for some me to play with their toys in my house. Yes I like that. Okay.
Yeah, it does seem weird though when you take the drugs and stuff that there's a whole other realm of stuff That's like the whole door that you don't know I wasky of it Josh. I would like to I'm not done that I've definitely shruned my face off and asked and all that but sure if you do a lot goes pretty close Yeah, yeah, I own a trip or anything like that go on a magical journey to death I've never died. I've definitely had colossal ego death like but it was what ego death like oh yeah cool But like it was it had like 20 minutes ago it had like the reverse effect though because like I had such a negative self Narrative in my head that it killed my ego death to be like you're not special enough to have everything go that wrong for you or whatever Like you were saying nice. Yeah, so it's like the opposite kind of it like brought me back up a little bit Give me like some self-esteem.
Did you think you're a bit of an unlucky kid? What's up? Do you think you're a bit of an unlucky kid growing up? I did I was like everything I thought was like against me Well, then I found weed and that was part of ego death But just because you're not like do you were I assume and I don't take this to offense I hope anyway No, you didn't grow up as like one of the cool kids in school I well the fact of the matter was I probably was one of the cool kids I just didn't have any idea how to like embrace what made me that I My art the archetype type of a cool kid.
I definitely wasn't and I saw like I want to be Zack Morris, you know Oh, okay. Yeah, so but meanwhile I probably was Considered kind of like a popular kid actually. Okay, so what made you to because it was it seemed like it was tough You said it was tough. Well, I wasn't bullied or anything like that I just was like, you know, I mean what was tough.
I just wasn't getting the girl, you know I'm saying you see other people getting the girl because you gotta take that's why I think social media Social media stinks people because you see the best side not all this on but most of the time It's kind of a little bit of bullshit So like you go, oh man look at that guy or that girl look at those They're going it's not exactly as good as you probably think it is but sure but it looks way better when you don't have it That's for sure and it makes you feel bad because you don't have that. Yes, that's really what it was because nobody was telling me You don't have this or like I knew I wasn't the best you were looking at it I was yes, exactly you're like whoa. I just noticed her with him Why is she with him not me when it was just when it should have been like there's other girls that you could meet that could be for you And congratulations to those two I say that to my friends all the time We look back on like girls went to high school with and we were like we were so picky It was like we all dwelled on the same like three girls and there was all these girls Yeah, nowadays we'd be like we'd feel honored to get to yeah Yeah, I never was into the champ anyway We didn't I didn't go school long enough to have like a like I remember seeing movies where you guys have proms and there's like a king And a queen and stuff we didn't I maybe that happened later But I left when I was really young so I but I still think me at least when I was a kid I don't think they had that I think Australia had not seen one of your movies yet You know cuz it was I think was like what's pretty in pink and all that where all of a sudden like what is this big function? You guys haven't and how can we get like it sounds like you get the summer off is that true cuz in Australia?
You don't that's not out. It's a good school year round. Yeah, I think so I get the winner off You definitely don't get you get a break like Christmas I think and that's summer time in Australia, but we don't get you guys get like months we don't get months We get like two weeks It's never a this big because I remember the first time I went to Kendall America I was at Mission Beach in San Diego and everybody there was you know 17 They were all my age and they're all they all had cars and and apartments and hotels and they'd all been you know Their parents got them an apartment for months because they're not on going to school and I remember trying to explain like I'm like wait What how long do you not go to school? And I was like America is it like this kid got a car and he has no money But he got credit to get a car because these parents hooked him up now He's on vacation because he's from some other state in San Diego drinking Underage like I'm like this place is you can do anything here.
That's true But that's also why China is beating us in the world economy Because we have sort of It's tough to bounce back from this lifestyle. I thought you grow up going to frat things Yeah, and then you get into work your main mission in in life is to do as little as possible for them for the most money That was mine. I just been taught that yeah, that was mine Yeah, there's no like incentive to be creative and like make your own thing It's more like steal somebody else's stuff and put a little put a little bullshit on the end of it and claim it as yours Well, I'm more mean like I saw my dad breaking his back for little pay for all those. He do he was just like worked in restaurants Like he was a weight up.
No, it's a cook and then he became good food Oh, yeah, but then I mean like eventually he'd be he started like running the restaurant. I did a French toast Oh, wow, that's it and it was not like as America's got French toast where it's all sugary because you guys are poisoned Yeah, it was egg in bread. That's it. I remember when I had French toast Oh my cuz I was still a kid I was like you guys have everything is way better cuz 17 if you put powdered sugar on stuff Oh sure and maple syrup you guys so far I remember French toast was pepper and salt on egg toast.
That sounds savory actually it is yeah But if you're a sugar fiend like I am okay, I like that's the other thing when I first came here all the 7 11 to all different Soda flavors and then the supermarket with all the different cereals and some of them have candy in them I get pretty sure straight is probably doing that now, but they didn't have candy in the cereal There was no marshmallow candies in cereal. What was lucky charm? So you know lucky chumps was not a thing you had we had cocoa puffs I just figured that's it cocoa puffs. Did you have the bird and everything?
Wasn't cuckoo. Oh, that's only sorry. We had fruit loops Sam to can had fruit loops and those were pretty off the chain I still think they hold up today. Well, did you have the Flintstones the cartoon?
No, yes, but I would imagine they're like I feel like that's a lot of missed opportunity catalogs You never know though because some of the big things because that's the other thing I was coming over here and going back to Australia before any of the big brand corporate stuff had gone over I could have made a lot of money if I had any money because I kept saying someone should open a Starbucks Someone should open a taco bell and then I've watched them slowly happen But Taco Bell took a shit nobody cared and Starbucks like made a huge rush for taking over Australia and got shut down People don't like it. They like their coffee shops sure because there's more of a maybe because we have a lot of Italians and Greeks Okay, our coffee is pretty good Just you know when you go into city and you go anywhere coffee's like even the crappy place has pretty decent That's kind of Melbourne is there like a like a Starbucks of Australia though. No, it's like not all over Australia I mean I could be wrong now because I haven't lived there for 30 years But there was just it's mum and pops interest and you get and they name all the coffees different too Like short whites and all that stuff is like where it's like wait. What is that?
Is that coffee with milk? I don't I lived here longer than there so like I started drinking coffee in America I didn't we know I was growing up you drink tea with With sugar and milk everybody I mean you guys what's a nice every French toast? It's tea with milk and sugar and a straight up savory egg piece of bread. That's the English influence.
Yeah, yeah, my my parents my dad's side You know English mama and the Scottish dad. Mm-hmm. So the Scottish dad was into the my grandad was into the little little jams Little Scottish jams and he put him on I think it was crumpets and he never Oh, this one Put a little piece on and then he buy to piece and then put a different one on the other side like Jamms like in cup containers now. They were like it now.
They're a little glass jars Oh nice little classic like old-school little jars with like not too much in it Right was like the good stuff. You got to buy like a shit I thought you buy a box of you buy a bunch of different flavors and and multiple of them He was rich for a little bit. He had a golden sades with four doors and a swimming pool We used to go over there and like hang out and stuff. It's pretty dope.
Yeah, and then he lost it all So the vanilla straight Yeah, we make it big and then we get all flossy and then we just drop off a cliff I think he had a couple sports cars yet a Corvette. Yeah, although he has one now of a he was a shift It had a cool vet less than he started becoming like the manager then he became like the regional manager Oh, he's way up. Yeah, it's like a chain Well, it was part like he started in like diners and then he worked in like Perkins hell Yeah, the poor man's I hop and then they turned to Denny's and he goes I'll never work for Denny's I respect that so he left and opened his own place and then through trials and tribulations eventually worked for like Olive Gardens Company at one point that's guys age but then he went back to his own thing So like he lost it all big gotten after like owning a bar for like a couple of years lost it all and then had to work for Denny's Oh, and that's where he retired from it's like a real it's like Shakespeare. I'm gonna like write some about it But he had a Corvette he had like Alexis he had a like a Mustang crazy show so like the whole way like when I was a kid I was like I can reach He was making like I don't know so this is an above low.
Yeah. Yeah, so what did you think that you were gonna do? I want to be on the radio which I was 16. Yeah, wait.
That's what you wanted before comedy. Yeah Oh wow what inspired you to want to be on radio cuz it's not it was just like all of it Like cuz it was like the internet was starting to spread radio around and so I listen like Don and Mike I listen to like Opie and Anthony and we had our own local version of that and I was like this is a job And like there was guys on the show I remember like they were the producers and I go man If I could just be one of those guys and I did it when I was 16 and I was like oh wait This is I just did it. That's crazy and I had no real I'm like what do I do now? I'm like do I get my own show do I like run a radio say I was like I didn't really have any other aspirations But I then I quickly realized that's not that job does not provide you a livable wage I my goal was to have a job that was basically below the poverty line in terms of right and I achieved it so quickly That's the thing about a job that like and we were on radio forever like not anybody can do it But anybody can kind of do it if you try hard enough and you have like even a semblance of something that they'd like or you mesh With them that was it that's all it took that's a thing when there's a thousand people who want that job And there's only three of those jobs in the city they can pay 28k yeah And there's plenty of people who will sleep in their car and I was a kid So like I got paid dog shit and they were like we don't legally know if we can do this or like it was really strange because I was like under 18 Working there for like I got my my entire high school schedule shifted for it.
Yeah kids get scammed hard when they try to work early Yeah, I remember I didn't even want to turn pro in the distribution sponsor in the straight turn me pro by just paying me They're like we're gonna pay and I was like what really you know 16 and vision street where so I had to wear vision street where I'd vision boards and wheels and they were gonna pay me I was like this is the greatest day of my life and then they're like yeah 164 dollars every three months and you think like even that now oh even then you know You you dickheads like that's not even a nobody can Live off it that's not doing anything well actually back then I didn't have any semblance of What someone can live off of I assume I'm like this is a job. I had I need to do it and live I need to I need to want about it in three months was not anywhere near something you could well okay You're right. I mean this is really but still like I was making a low minimum wage basically I was making like five dollars an hour I was making whatever minimum wage was hourly and I was working 40 hours a week But I was only getting paid 20 hours a week because they were like you're too you can't work for but I would do the above and beyond Because they'll pay me back in the end. Yeah, I say if I might make it a sweeper.
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Oh Uh, head to try fume calm slash Jason to save an additional 10% off your order today, mate And then did it pay off in the in the end? Well, I'll say I have a good outlook on my life that it paid off in the end because I am here where I am today Right now in this moment, but in terms of radio it never paid off like I got fucked over until I find I got like minimal Raises I never really made a livable wage and I did it until I was 31 but Through it. I've got connections here and I'm Tom and all those guys not from the radio I did that from stand up, but so when did you get into stand up? Oh, when I was 20 how let's see I was 22 probably had you left the radio or we know I was doing them both Okay, how did you get into into stand up like and by then so like they were having local stand-ups come around the show Yeah, yeah, yeah, it would like you were like wait a minute Maybe I go to like why don't you do stand up and I was like I never really like knew how to start doing that I know you don't just go do it I guess and I was like I hadn't thought about where where I would go to like practice or whatever and they're like well Show you some places they showed me some places and I got addicted to doing like going to do those yeah, and Yeah, I mean I just kept then I was living like a double life in the radio.
It fucked me the company that I worked for fucking over so hard Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh, yes had done me so dirty that I hate to hear that that's terrible. Yeah, that time done But here's the thing I was like Don Draper at this point like I would come and go as I please as long as I got X amount of work done They couldn't really say anything and they threatened to fire me all the time But I was like alright But they knew they would have to hire like two people to do that job yeah and or like you know I was absorbing everyone's jobs as they fired and yeah So they were like well this guy's doing it So I mean they really or they just like some people in the corporate side might just really like me But they threatened to fire me a bunch and just never did and I would come and go so like if I had road gigs I would just be like I'm not coming in Friday. They're like well you you have negative 24 sick days I'm like well take it out of my my pay I guess at the end of the year I don't know to tell you like take it out of my bonus or whatever and they'd be like okay And they wouldn't do anything they would just They would probably go to fire me and someone would be like well he does we're still making money Yes, so when do you meet these other guys the Ryan sticklers and all that how does that work out?
I well I I was doing the road and doing clubs and stuff in like the early 2010s or whatever but my home club opened up in like 2012 in Buffalo helium and I had MC for a while and then they passed me as a middle in the first week out the middle like a feature act okay And so the first weekend that I featured was with Tom And so that's the first time you made it that was the first time I met him that's first time I like Yeah, I was like it's just a guy I was like okay cool And I've worked with a bunch of people and I was like excited about and people that I didn't know I'm just from just doing the road So you're like okay cool and we had like a cool weekend You know what I mean? I wasn't like we weren't I didn't walk out of there going like this is my new best friend or like I didn't also walk out of there going like I had a shitty time you know It was like a work weekend. I was like sweet I did my first feature weekend at the at the new club and then he like DM me He's like you want to come to Orlando and and open for me and I was like sure I had to like fly myself there the club Put some middles. Thank God back then at least and So I remember I borrowed 300 bucks for my mom at the time even though I was let's see this is 2013 so I was 26 years old I borrowed 300 bucks for my mom and That's my whole check by the way to buy you know Like you do five shows you get 500 bucks and like maybe the headliner But Tom was was still like you know just getting like probably I don't know what he probably been like 2500 bucks himself, you know at the time it was before he was like, you know huge and so That was the gig though.
I was like I've never really flown anywhere to you know to go to comedy Driving my car and I was like do I drive all the way to Florida? You know what I mean? I was like usually outside of my radius Yeah, you know that cuz that's where I hadn't gone that far So I was like about it And then we just kept like throwing me gigs and then he started selling tickets and he's like you don't have to pay for You're traveling more and that was like he was doing better Well, yeah I was like but like what's funny is I have friends were like road middles that work with guys everything like that at that point Like no one had heard of that that was like crazy now. It's like obviously if you're doing now that like more and more people are doing theaters Yeah, it makes sense.
It would be criminal if they didn't do that Do you know what I'm saying like Tom was just selling out club weekend and stuff like that and like wow I mean like he was like one of those first I mean other than like Rogan and people weren't doing that for their middles You know what I mean? They're like oh wow you're saying those guys were like some of the first guys Yeah, to compensate the middles as you call it. Yeah, but I don't like that No, because I mean I never got to work with like Rodney Dangerfield or anything So I don't know maybe those guys helped out their middle But there's like plenty of stories where even there are some I won't name any names right now I mean I would love to but I just It's not it's not my it's not my story to tell so I feel bad about it. It's second.
It happened to me I would definitely tell it okay, but Yeah, they still make you pay your way or whatever and or fine lodging or something like that wait if you have to pay your way That's offensive if you're opening for a theater act. That's like making Six figures in one okay, but what about a club and they ask you to come if you're doing a club You got it I mean that's it's I find it offensive, but you have it's part of the racket like the clubs make you buy your own tickets Always and they give you a travel buyout. This is I don't my talking show on the clubs They give you a travel buyout. Here's 500 bucks and you're like what year do you think it is that it costs a round trip for me to fly there?
And back and 500 bucks I can't even get an uber from my apartment to the airport for like less than 150 bucks So it's you know what they say to that they don't care sometimes you get a little more They give you a little more and they're the nice ones that your friends what they give you a little more and Sometimes they give you less you know It seems hard Josh. It seems like it's always really hard Until you make it and then some people never make it and it's just always really hard I don't think that's hard. I find it easier I mean like I used to live in my car and drive around and do I mean I'm older now So I wouldn't why and I don't drive anymore So I don't know that I would like that lifestyle anymore. Yeah, but um you don't know huh, you know I know I don't want to go slip back to that because I can't I can't drive anymore So it's like I think about I mean I don't have a license anymore and like I stopped and I don't think I'm scared to like Behind some of these spaceships now.
I don't know it's been five years come on the technology hasn't changed that much It made it easier since you get cocky. Oh, why you got a little phobia about it, huh? I do I trash or something I used to wait here's where I phobia I was poor and I couldn't get all my you know the fucking stickers and the forms I'm bad at that shit so I get pulled over in the middle of nowhere suspended license I'd spend a night in a jail I would go you know like in Ohio when they be like what the fuck's going on I have to talk my way out of it Like tickets all over the goddamn country right before I moved here. I cleaned it all up It was like seven thousand dollars and I had to call your lawyer.
Well, you were like a badass It's I'm an idiot. I would have been fucking moron. I'm sorry. You're very sad at seven times You're like uh You want to talk about like the shooting?
I didn't realize I was saying it. No, I know which is crazy because do you ever hear? I just show on series and we said I'm from a Shaya Every second word was a was a was a not cool. There's a thing.
I used to do terrestrial radio Right, which is even we've had more than one terrestrial person F on the crap out of us and I'm like the first again the further you get away from it Yeah, it goes away and I mean I thought I was doing a swoosh with suits Michael. That's what it is We're late back. You come in the house and it's like what's up. Yeah, yeah, late back and then you know you're probably it A little child in a cage right next to the liquid that cage because you can't curse But he's not being a kid you know like a one of the harnesses just like a chain He keeps running it Josh, but the harness keeps stopping him I just wants to fight Josh the whole show an angry leash, baby You know why you want to fight you because you keep dropping f bombs And he said that's a bad word.
That's right. He respects the laws. You're basically an infant Can you is yell every now and then when he says it goes you said a bad word? I mean, please.
Yes. I I do appreciate you can be bad word judge. I'm gonna be better. It's also like better I'm gonna.
Yeah, look away kids. Let's talk about it. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say is it good Yes, it is but is there is there a toll? Does it come with a price?
Everything does everything does so watch out when you start like yama I love bubmai and you know you're hanging out hacky sack and then all your bros are like smoking cones and next thing you know You're dumbass. Yeah, I'm very well-spoken typically and I said more better all of a sudden go away for the new chili peppers I'll be like you fried your freaking brain. I did so you don't want to drive because you're afraid you'll forget to register I just all of it. I have a PTSD is fair one.
That's where you know all of it But you have pizza you think that the thing is gonna get you also is an act couple accidents and I can't see very well and I You could just you could just get that one out of the pocket move. That's not even the but the real one in my head is the other one Is it you want pay your Register I don't want it. I don't want that in my life. There it is I don't want that in my life.
So I got a DUI for driving one of those power wheels, you know the kid cars You should get one of those anyway. I mean you should just get a ticket I'm gonna get a bike and stuff people need to wake up. So do you need a bike? I think this guy was just hammered and needed to get back to the bar or something.
Oh, he wrote a track You're on a one wheel. It's like what do you don't know? I think it's like one of those things They sell it toys or us like the battery like the kid cars. Oh, I bought that the dude was on an actual road I was like battery kid cars and he was wasting on the road not on the sidewalk You can't yep, that's where he goofed up.
Yeah, that was this yep. See how he said goofed. Yeah, sorry. Welcome to the big leagues Welcome to YouTube.
I got shot with a taser and didn't swear that was how I got hired essentially What kind of days of money the one with it shoots out of the cop the cop a cop had to do it's a good and it's got a Hook the prongs. Yeah, yeah, that is not cool I did it when I was 16 and I didn't curse on the air. They didn't have to dump out of it That's what they were like your bro. That's respect.
That's my big shining moment Shining moments. Did you see a lady who cries precious jewels? No, it's glass Oh, but I guess it's kind of precious, but it's not you tell me if you think it's real or not Josh because this lady is a little girl I think I've seen cries and it comes out in it's it's wrapped in something. So I doesn't get cut when it comes out It's crystallizer gelatinized or something.
Oh, it's a good. Yes, wrapped in a good and then they unpilled a good and bulged your uncle's glass She makes glass. She's got a glass brain. You do realize this video is titled woman who cried crystals now Suspected of faking condition by placing glass in her eye.
Oh, then show me hat then she should be up there post you sent me and it says that She's Chris Angel. She should be up there with Chris Angel next weekend in days. So I'll say how folks Watch this even if it's fake. Just tell me this is another like David Blaine esque.
Oh, yeah, I put papa roach behind this Don't change my eyes. It's just crying Just crying crack. Yeah, maybe they should have smoked it. Just to be sure.
What would you rather Freak Josh yeah crack or I'd be very valuable right like you'd sell it. Yeah, I'm gonna Have to smoke it. Oh, hold on a minute. I turn on Titanic I don't know I had to name something I could probably watch movies sometimes you cry.
Oh, yeah Like gives the women the it amounts probably I was soon you have a whole begun and cry Not with like that though. I don't think I could handle it No, I mean there was a time when I was like I get it like during COVID I was like should I get one of those and I was like, I don't think that's a good idea. Yeah, what oh, yeah Yeah, so yeah, I can't say that but you can say that but you can say I don't know. I don't make that I'm just saying I just want to get one of those though.
I go I'll get a baseball bat But why do you cry so much? I don't know. I really don't I come you know what makes me cry sometimes that what it's like a commercial All of a sudden we'll just make there was a commercial like some during football where football name right? Well, no no not the football there's a commercial Right.
Yes, why are they hurt the stuffed animal? Yes, it like fell out and it was like in the snow and it was a cold stuffed animal and it was getting over and then a girl found it and she like Couched it and then took it into the warm car with her and it was a car driver's upgrade now Right, you're crying because the stuffed animal was on the streets all alone Google this picture This don't feel the cold right I mean, you don't know. I'm pretty sure I know That's one of those other things you're like you're just jumping and trying to get people to just believe the impossible I was like, oh But you were just happy to know that he had a home is that something you do you want somebody to? I so badly want to throw your carola to pull up and take me home You know, maybe would you like like a lady to I would love that.
Yeah, a hundred percent. Do you get lonely? Oh, yeah? Yeah, is that why I cry?
I mean, I don't know if that's why it's probably all the time. It's sometimes you cry because you're like sure Oh, it's okay. Oh sure. Yeah, I just mean that's not I don't know.
That's always the source of it I'm doing it to you happy. Hey, I'm doing it to yeah. Yeah, all right Call you out. I don't look far away.
If you ever need a I want to go get a booby-booby-booby-booby together You can only cry to get out of here. What the hell is gonna remind me how sad I am. I'd be like you wanna have a beer? Oh, yeah, you're so fucking mad.
That's how I do it with all my friends are also. Yeah, I hate that He's gonna come over and offer me a beer and then say sorry about it. Yeah, all my friends are sobering I'm like, oh, I'm gonna go down the wall. What do you drink?
Yeah a lot? No, I drink beer a lot frequently I mean, I'm not every night. I'll go like a five days without drinking. Do you exercise?
I wish I did more but you do I try to I do push up so I'm in a prison sometimes nice. Yeah, I mean for long walks I would say I wish I did every day. I should do them every day I tell myself I'm going to do them every day and I'll do them every other day when you do this when you do They're doing them. I don't know.
Do you think I want to have sex more better and do it So it's for somebody else. You're not doing it for you now right now I want to look better in the mirror and all it is a little bit in the mirror Then you'll have more confidence. Yeah, but still you have to like strip yourself down except who you really are medical technical I would like my penis to also operate a better level. Oh and it better.
What do you mean? Like I feel like if you're something like when you work out and stuff like that doesn't increase optimization It does seem that way. I mean, I guess if you like so I'm gonna testosterone flow in I I heard that by the way, yeah, if you show Yeah, if you combine sort of like some sort of and pep to me feel like I'm doing a dab or something You know what I mean? That doesn't help your wiener though.
I'm pretty sure. Oh, yeah I don't want to do that wait what doesn't like doesn't steroids like hurt your wiener? Wait, why does it stay right? It's also replacement is not sterile.
What's the thing? It's like not doing decor anything. I'm doing like a stuff I'm doing stuff to keep my levels what they used to be I'm making them above and beyond I'm not trying to have a hot condition already got that what if it's waning in its caliber then you're getting a shot Where it was a couple of I do it and I can I'm that's why everybody who's my age is getting away with doing stuff now There's no need all it's a needle in your leg a couple days a week. Oh, I do it you think yeah, that's gonna make it difficult Yeah, that's happened.
Oh a couple times. Can I stab you with a needle right now? No, please don't I will fuck you I will sit sadly pass what about if you want to try it out of your f boat again? I'm gonna stab you Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, oh Anyway, you just I mean cuz you're talking needles.
It's yeah, that's like a police interrogation I'm sweating just thinking about I also I found out when I tried to give blood one time because I I Would be charitable no I found out that I've low like low blood pressure too low to give blood you can't spare it I don't know if it's I can't spare it. It's not low count is low but it's like pressure It's like they said to me. They're like you will faint. Yeah, so isn't that good though?
I go oh I got low blood pressure like oh no no it's like too low Yeah, another such a thing is as bad low blood pressure the good thing is most people goes up most people goes up as they get older Yeah, that's what I'm hoping to prize on it exactly let's go yeah Yeah, I know it's basically be like you have a lower pit than everybody else hurry up and throw some grease in there Yeah, you should get untested on replacement and then start working out I would actually abuse it if I was you I would go above and beyond I'm scared. Can I drive to look at it when you do it? No, what happens when you do it to me? Like I just now I have to go home and I like have to do push-ups so I know it's gonna be the best masturbation You've ever known when does it leave my body?
Wait, not that I care but like what it's like it'll kick in tomorrow and then it'll wear off over the week And I do and I work out while it's on yeah, and I'll be like No, not making any difference at all that one week That's not how it goes yeah, but please do the Yeah, get shut off take a photo all right Emily jacked you and then you work out in your room like a jail guy freak Bigger's leave they will take another fight. See dude. I don't know. I'll look at a little swab.
Yeah Yeah, I'll be able to go to the maybe do a dick measurement too because it's probably gonna be bigger It definitely doesn't make it smaller miles. That's your balls. It does it to your balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah But I mean he's not like people that do functionality of your thing.
I think yeah What do you mean functionality like it's not standing up? I already have a hard time like finishing the job meaning like I can be hard the whole time But like I just won't and it takes me like feeling some sort of connection Yeah, I do well. I know is that crazy where you like one of those ladies who can't come from penetration? You also need to stimulate your glit.
Yes, like mine. Yeah, there's like something figuring it out. I'm figuring it out What you need a mental connection. Yeah, maybe you see get like Hey, yeah, well, I don't I mean I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying like I don't mind like you know they've ventured around that aspect I don't mind that at all.
What's a good thing? Well, he's got cuz then he can just keep going. Oh, you're talking about I Know it's empty though, sir. It's it's it's fun And it's like Ben hey some ladies they have their fun and like some ladies are like, you know well versed and you know they're pretty You know good, you know, they're sex-aver's they're pretty frequent sex-aver's well versed.
Yeah, they're well versed and they enjoy the fact that it's like I'm not You know finishing it up super fast right it works out for them not necessarily for you That's not left like staring into space like yeah, well, you can't do it. You're saying I can finish myself But then you know not with a vagina. No, I've had a couple mouths do the job I have twice and a bunch of twice or three twice me two girls in a vagina Was it earlier in your career or later on that this happened mid middle and late so it's getting better It is I hope getting better. Yeah, and the mouths the mouths are getting better I can close my eyes and but it does feel a little bit more Where do you know the mass of a little mandatory with the mouth of your you still kind of like when you say the mouths are getting better You mean like over the years the mouths have never been better or I'll tell you this yeah, please do Good to be a good one mouth stuff.
They're really I mean I didn't think there was any improving upon it Mmm, but it's like I don't know what the hell happened, but they got better all of a sudden haven't they like in recent years They're getting a little more elaborate. I think everyone's sharing theirs their techniques and other recipes are being spread I think so and honestly it's the internet people watch videos huh, you know, you might learn something from somebody else I know when I was in college. That's the one thing there was that podcast Yeah, the clock yeah, and all the chicks were talking about that well, I remember hearing about that and I go I've had a couple of look look what I did not a couple of what a couple of luck look girls. You know they're like You know, I mean you got you I'm getting that and I don't know I don't know what I heard when I heard this podcast I didn't think that would make girls go.
I'm gonna start do it I didn't strike me as that you know, but it did that's what I'm saying that was the Side effect that I did not see coming and boy. They're all out there now Yeah, they're not all good still sure no you're you come across one you're like what is a model T? You know what I mean? Like what you think this is the way I don't know that endless endurance without ever getting to the intended destination Sometimes associate it with antidepressants not on anything What do you attribute that because most people there's playing a guy who could go all day masturbating but sex they got to really Paste themselves because it stimulates them to orgasm far more easily than master I hope or a numb one you don't have one weird technique that you do all the time do you know I can actually be ambidextrous Yeah, cuz they talk about people can't really yeah, some guys You gotta switch yeah, that's right.
It really is nice. I've a change of pace sure You know yeah They fumble with it a little bit because it's your own hand you like and then it also feels like a different dick I was like no not really if you were interested in getting involved in but stuff I saw the then I think that's becoming more I'm involved trust me I'm about as involved as you can get without you know the strap on itself. Okay. How involves can someone get before the strap There's plenty of you doing plugs or something.
No, I've done a like one of these wands that like they have their little like magic Wands you know a magic one up you booty a little bit a little bit you say a little bit you mean like it's no more than a finger Yeah, but how far into the go? Knuckle maybe you've been nervous on you when he goes in I do get a little nerve and I'm hey I'm all about it. I do get a little nervous. I understand it.
I don't know what's going on I try to make sure I know what's going on out there But I think when it comes to bus stuff is a little bit like comedy the more you do it the better you get sure I know the better you get the more of a Of an amazing feeling you can get with the experience I bet I kind of imagine what it would be like to be Tom Segura in a football stadium and sold out crowd and everybody thinks you're the funniest guy in the world But I'm pretty sure that would be the greatest thing that could ever happen But guess what that took years and years and years of trying to think of what that would be and that's the same But stuff like my first but experience to now is night and day but when you're in your eyes that would be the stadium Oh, I've been in but stuff. Yeah. Yeah, well to me, you know, I Almost fee the day of a Tensem a ten some because that's all they ever wanted since I was a boy I know of all dudes are well, it's a used to be just girls But now I'm a graphic I'm fruitier and there's more there's more I think more guys would I would like it to have it everybody like trans girls and guys and Guys and girls. Oh, wow, but the dumb.
It's like the voting lines have moved in all the demographics are changing. Yeah, yeah You wouldn't be very young anymore as a good older. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, I saw our hospitalizations for things stuck in rectums Oh sure I like to fall in they've doubled in the last few years.
I think I honestly think once again It's the internet. There's a lot of people who either Never would have occurred to them to do it and then they go they see people doing they go Oh, could I be into that and there's also people who would have been curious but wouldn't know where to start and there's plenty of videos for that But like people that buy sketches if you buy sketches and then you go Oh anal you're probably gonna get something stuck up your house because you're an idiot well That's I don't want an object. That's the thing about the toys and stuff like that I just go a finger a tongue a tongue is my favorite. Yeah, that is pretty good.
That's my favorite We do a tongue. We don't need the bells and whistles. Yeah, you got that attached to your head not getting stuck up there And you can finish from that. Oh, yeah, that's great That's what I get to do.
You just need the right partner. I think That's a boning and then you can switch out. It's tough to have that unless we bring in a second I mean a second person well I have to finish in a person and have their tongue be there So, you know what I mean like yeah, but you you bang her out and she gets off and then you give her your butthole and no That's how we get around doing things now. I'm saying if I ever want to make a child.
Oh God Kids are there already you know, you really need to add I don't need to I don't need to get all this comedy and all these things You're trying to do you realize it's gonna make all those things next to impossible to do now I'm going to be a neglectful father in terms of that. I really if you're selling the money in terms of neglectful I'm saying like I'm going to be I'm not I'm supposed to go into neglectful I know but it is it's inherently I guess neglectful when you go on the road for multiple weekends And I wouldn't be purposely you know what I'm saying like I'll still be attentive in the ways that I can be but I'm based on what like once a day or something if they if that's required I feel like that's required Hey, son, did ever tell you where your mom's tongue was two minutes before you received I feel like my child would grow up understanding and I will be around enough and just say that he doesn't care for him No, it's not that I don't care. It's like this is work. This is what I do for right now That song cats in the cradle.
I think that was the conclusion. Yeah, I mean Stoods daughter and see how that went it was Cass Stevens, but we all oh wait What is about Stuart's daughter that different she is most famous for crashing? miniature highly on a red carpet in a vagina came flying out in front of everyone which I don't remember I don't recall her defeating that demonstration I'd hit her up and be like okay, but they say you know dad wasn't around and dad says I wasn't around And that's what you're like you're kind of too old to start having a kid right now David Letterman did it yeah But he had money I can do it. I'll get money.
Oh, then there you go I'm not gonna get money. Yes, but you can get that why I haven't had one yet. Oh, so you when you're a successful Then you will come in someone I hope so right. I mean hope so you don't think people would let you do that Well, I'm a good guy everybody in comedy loves you.
I didn't mean it like that. I just mean like everybody in comedy love you I don't do that Wait, do you do you argue different? I don't know that everyone in comedy knows me but everybody that does know you loves you Okay, that's nice like and some of the people that love you are some of the greatest comedians in the world today Oh, okay, that's nice. Yes, I hope you know that right Yeah, that's pretty badass sure of course so the potentials there for money I mean for a girl definitely to like have a girl no, I would like that Yeah, cuz you're like a good person good successful people love and respect you and I just don't count my chickens That's all pretty you're pretty casual.
You know like who's so who says like who's your dog good who have good? You everybody else, you know sure too good for Josh Potter. What have you done? There are a couple of them Yeah, look I get it.
There's some people out there that are too good for me So that's you know this is some dumbass that's even for me. Yeah, that's what I say. That's what I think you'll find it Yeah, you know, I'm looking at you dating Apple Do the flipping data do some weird thing with people's food like you know what food to give somebody to bone them Is that you know are you a food guy for dates? Like what kind of food guy for to sustain my life let alone for dates?
You don't like food hate it. It's not that I hate it. There's a hot take I really do I really I mean this is like people hate me for this I dislike the chore of eating three times a day Would you rather like a pellet? Oh, yeah, like three pellets a day Listen, I like Thanksgiving.
I like going to a restaurant. These are occasions. Yeah, but the the stupid, you know every single I gotta eat lunch now. I gotta you know I hate that.
I'd rather a pellet right do you eat? I try not to You like a snack guy hate snacks. I'm one. Are you like a snake?
I like a sandwich I'll eat like a sandwich. I'll eat like an omelette. I'll eat like a wrap. Okay, you hate snacks despise I'm just gonna get up to spice.
It's we should say it's a hate snacks. Yeah, I don't like if we offered you a bag of chips That would be off putting to you. It's not that it's off putting a bag of gummy bears would not exactly we ones No, no weird What miles I'm like that too. I only I like one big meal a day.
Yeah, that's it salad Wrap an omelette an avocado wait. You haven't have a cotto and that's your meal with eggs. Oh, okay So one meal a day I try sometimes to I get drunk and I'm like all about dog Wow I'm like a turn your friend upside down buddy. I took a bunch of beer Yeah, but you got to see a positive side and I do I don't mind I'm just saying like people really hate my take on food They really know it's a little depressing because I have to do it every day and you're making it like I know So I get it made up busy now where food is I would take a palette because like today I bought a smoothie because I was like I don't want to I don't have time like just give me the thing as quick as you can That gets me to my next destination.
I that's exactly I feel like it disrupts the momentum of a day Especially if you're like working like this you don't like food like some people get excited about a certain meal I know and also I feel like because in radio they try to compensate you with food instead of money where they're like Oh, you get the free pizza on Friday and I like we didn't have to board up the bills games And it'd be like you get free pizza though. I'm like do I get extra money? No, but there's free pizza and I'd be like I'm not working And there would be pizza. They'd be so psyched.
That's I feel that podcasting losers What's that that what you just said radio was the opposite for me? They didn't give me any food But they paid me they but radio pay but in like dog shit like podcasts like you do some of them and you get paid Don't you I mean the nuns on the ones but also you get paid in like an audience No Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry It's a very different story on the Josh Potter show. No, it's not post every Wednesday.
I read you I mean I was on the other day. It's a good show. That's it was fun. I was Yeah, you're bad to shoot on your own show.
Yeah, I was just saying in terms of like I'm not like someone out the forum After you see me after your my show, but you know we got I love the people that watch it and they're very hardcore Yeah, that's same with us. Yeah, right. You gotta respect those people of course. I don't even love oh my god What about when girls put cream on their bodies and stuff?
We do like would you eat like a doughnut get out of here with that? Okay, okay, I'm trying to Food that does not tantalize my things actually turn safe off the sex food so you wouldn't have sex with like Jessica Elbert She was eating a rap. I will actually said dude. I'm not gonna bang you I'm not insane.
I'm gonna eat this sick Caesar wrap while you're boning me out. So why don't you please have at it? I'm not gonna you wouldn't care I wouldn't care. I thought you like to have sex with the soul of the lady I do but I do but I'm just gonna be able to help you.
Can I tell you the other double-edged sword of this layer? Yes, I also have incredibly low self-esteem so that pretty much any girl who shows interested me I feel like I am obligated To follow through with it follow through with what like even if I'm not attracted to the woman You mean you thought you were then you realized through the day that you're not think I was I'm saying not even a date terms I'm saying like a girl who I'm unattracted to approaches me. Oh after a show or something like this Yeah, I will follow through with that because they give me attention and because I feel like I'm like well, you know Who am I to say no, you know? So you just cut pieces left and right but not coming yourself, right?
It's tragedy. It is you know It's not a bad. It's not a tragedy. I'm just gonna say I could I could be born in a third world country and live off of rodents Or whatever and I'd really hate food.
I think it's been it's been swell and I meant to I'd like to ejaculate and I would like to meet a lady It's not too much to ask. Oh, yeah, hopefully hopefully it's not in that order Maybe make that your bio order in general kind of doing heroes work to be honest in terms of what heroes just having sex with all these girls and being like I don't care but you know not it's not all these I mean I think it's crazy but every now and then you sleep with somebody that you would like to say it's a charity jam So mean I mean you already just said somebody's not hot and I was just said I wasn't personally attracted to them But you were they you weren't personally attracted to them because they weren't hot Yeah, right so then you go back to their place and you give it to the proper and then they finish Every game is like I'm you know at Madison Square Garden I mean I got some do you have a fake orgasm? No because they know the deal usually no they don't because I publicly spoken about it Anybody you tell everybody you're gonna Know anybody is like a fan of mine who would be a well in this in this sort of capacity yet has seen me discuss this So you're like the old joke about lesbian sex. How do you know when you're done?
I know how well I also can just like I'll do myself And also I'll be like well, we're not getting anywhere here. So I'm gonna just finish myself off You do not say that what I mean you do not say that my head. Oh, okay. I don't say no.
No, I go. Oh, you're just too much for me I said something like that I can't handle this Oh, man, you said it so many times dude Because you are enchanting me to a degree I can't contain yeah, yeah, wow Well on that note. Yeah, thanks for being on the show dudes. I know you know what I claim your shoes But they are really great.
Hey, no, it's cool. I mean she bought these you can't deny that she had I mean who just buys these and doesn't She wanted it. Yeah. Yeah, she acts like it's I don't care.
She'll come back. No, let's pray that doesn't happen. All right There's plenty more out there, you know, that's what they say anyway. Thanks for being on the show Thanks everybody.
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