This podcast is brought to you by stereo to experience and participate in stereo live. Please download the stereo app. Today we have Mark Norman as a returning guest on Jeremiah wonders, one of my favorites and one of yours. I love him.
If you haven't seen his first episode on the show, you got to go back and watch it now. Leave a like or comment below. Maybe you're a quafer, maybe you're a Tuesday's with stories fan or maybe you're just a listener of this podcast. You want to let us know that you're here.
We appreciate you and I appreciate everyone who has been downloading, renting, purchasing my special on Amazon Prime, given it five star ratings and reviews, all that stuff helps. And it's available as an audio album right now on Spotify, Pandora, a bunch of other stuff. I'll put the link in the description below. But I appreciate your guys support and I'm on the road a little bit Wednesday, December 30th, Roy just for Pennsylvania on it.
Soul Joles, comedy club, it's a heated dome, socially distance, safe and then in Austin on January 7th, I'll be at Vulcan Gas Company in January 8th and 9th. I'll be in Fort Worth, Texas at Hyena's headlining there. And I got some great openers coming your way as well. It's going to be some amazing shows and I hope to see you guys either in Texas or Pennsylvania.
Mark is on the show right here right now. Let's get into it. I appreciate you guys. I hope you've been having happy holidays.
I hope 2021 is better for all of us than 2020 was. And let's keep it positive. Thanks so much for tuning in guys. Without further ado, it's Mark Norman.
On Jeremiah Wonders. Welcome to Jeremiah Wonders Live on Stereo with the one the only Mark Norman ladies and gentlemen. Hey, good to be here. We've got comedy.
I don't know how you're doing this text stuff. This is wild. We got a lot of we got a lot of irons in the fire right now, but we're making a happen. I'm in LA.
You're in New York and we're making this. Thanks for getting up early. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah.
I it's interesting when I wake up early for a podcast. It kind of reminds me of being back in school because our brains usually aren't working until much later in the night anyway. Like like the jokes. But I don't know when I get inspiration to write, it's usually pretty late at night.
It's not like like I don't know. It feels a little bit like when you're on the road and you're doing a morning press, like radio. Exactly. You're like, OK, I got to I got to be on now.
This is OK. This is different. Here we go. Yeah, it's it's hell.
You're hung over. It's the least funny you've ever been on the least funny show on the planet. It's like Diana in the morning or Cup of Joe with Dick list and it's like, what are we doing here? I don't know if I become myself for two seconds.
I just shut the lights off and pull the power switch. Yeah, I but you have some really you some really fun morning appearances that are on your on the old YouTube that I that I recommend people to check out. If you haven't seen it yet, you've got some great interactions with people who are clearly they're trying to go toe to toe with you as a comic. And it's just so like it's so lopsided.
It's funny to see you kind of towing with them and stuff. It's great. Oh, thanks. I think they think they're funny and it's some guy who is a like a weather man in the 80s and now he's got the big chair and he's going to go go yuck it up with a comic and yeah, it's a nightmare.
Just just laugh and listen and we'll get on with our morning. Yeah, that's always over. That's great. That's always the best thing like when people like those news personalities and those radio morning DJs are like, oh, we got my brother on the show right now and I was Mark, you're performing the chocolate tonight.
You got any jokes for us? And you're just like, yeah, and then when they try to big time you, they're like, hey, I'm the funny guy in Cincinnati, buddy. And then you just I'm like, like they told me to be here. Why are you mad at me?
This isn't a pissing contest. I don't want to be here either. Yeah, exactly. We're on the same boat here.
We're on the same boat here. So we're live here on stereo. This is a little bit of a different kind of podcast because basically people can leave us messages live on the show on the stereo app and we can play them. So I'm going to play some now and we'll have at it.
Jeremy, I love you and Mark. You were my favorite stand up comedian. I love you guys so much. Ah, geez, I was touching.
Thank you. You were my mom. The Christmas gift that's never going to come this year. You got that right now, my mom's still in jail, but I'll get one phone call.
I had growing up. I always show my dad like different sketches and impressions that I was working on. And this message, what you just said about your mom, which is your mom supportive of your company? Ah, you know, she's heard I do it.
All right. All right. Cool. Cool.
Yeah. I would show my dad my impressions and different stuff growing up kind of being like, what do you think that you know, trying to press your parents and he would watch him. I'd show him this like a bunch of impressions and I'm like, well, what do you think that? And he's like, that's pretty good.
You know, he's good at impressions. Jimmy Fallon. He's really good at impressions. I was like, I wasn't asking about Fallon.
I was asking about this video. Right. Right now. You know, when you win the high school football game, your dad doesn't go, Hey, you know, it's good that Tom Brady, he won a couple of Super Bowls.
You're like, yeah, but I just made this winning touchdown. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
But that Peyton Manning, he's got a big forehead. But dad, I just won state. I had the winning touchdown. I don't know what to tell you.
You know, it's a great state. Rhode Island. That's a great like Jesus. All right, dad.
Dad, we don't even live in Rhode Island. What are you talking about? Anything that's not you is great. Yeah.
Yeah. It's like, I know I created you and everything and you're trying to make me proud, but I'm going to show you a couple of things and make you work for it. Yes, exactly. But hey, that's why we're funny guys and good comic because you got to push that much harder to get daddy's love.
It's true. It's true. And I have a pretty supportive dad, but that but I think that kind of stuff always like went over his head like, what? I'm just talking about the people that I know.
You're an unknown. Right. Right. Yeah, but I think funny is so important to us and it's not that important to other people.
We got to remember that. You know, if you were a pea body winner or an engineer or some kind of lifetime achievement award guy, I think they would respect that, but they don't understand how important funny is to us. So when you go, hey, dad, I'm funny. They're like, yes, or what?
Yeah, but what kind of green are you funny? That's all thing is like the accolades like for back home, like my mom, I'd be so excited about certain gigs or certain opportunities that I've gotten over the years. And it would always come down to, oh, so what do you must be getting paid pretty well? I'm like, no, it's more like an exposure thing.
Like it's exciting. Right. And I had to tell my parents after a while, I'm like, you got to stop asking that question because you're sucking the air out of out of the fun when I get to tell you something. Good for you.
That's the key. You got to tell them because my mom would go, I go, I'm doing Conan. She go, what about Letterman? And I was like, you got to just let let the Conan thing ride.
Letterman will happen or he'll get, you know, he'll molest an intern, but let's just focus on the Conan. Exactly. It's like, let's be appreciative. Always back there.
Like you have to teach your parents what that let's be grateful for what we have right now. All right. Exactly. Exactly.
But hey, that's all part of it. And nobody respects comedy. What are we talking about? What are we talking about?
We're live here on the stereo app with my pal Mark Norman. He's in New York. I'm in the Los Angeles. We're making this happen coast to coast live on stereo.
Let's play another message. Who else can get away with saying Queef on morning television? You're, uh, you're exactly the percent gay that I'm into, Mark. Yeah.
Hey, big fan of the homosexuals. Uh, I get by the way, I get more dick pics than Lisa Lober, whoever. I mean, I'm cleaning up over there. Are your dams pretty deep in the deck?
Whoo. I don't know what I'm an otter or a crab. I don't know what I am in the gay world, a twink, but man, I, the honey badger, the gay is flock to my cock and it's wild. Like women always like, you don't know what it's like to be a, a rasp by a man.
I'm like, what are you getting? Look at my DMS. The D stands for dick and the messages. Exactly.
Yes. And I got a full box, full box. I, uh, do you think it has anything to do with, with you saying, like you sometimes will say on podcasts or a little hungover, little gay. Do you think that that wishes it a little bit over the top?
Like, wait, because all gay guys need, I've noticed, like, if you're out, like at a gay bar or something like that, they're just looking for an opening. Like if, if, and I feel like that is the, the, the welcome mat for the gay castle, but as your kingdom, maybe, maybe, uh, come to kingdom, come on my back, but it's brutal because it's so flattering. I'm into it. I'm not against it, but it's, uh, it's tough.
Cause I think, and from what I can gather, I'm not a homosexual, but I think they like to flip the old hetero guy, like that's the ultimate prize. So I think maybe that's part of it. Yeah. I think that that's, um, I think that's a different equivalent of stars and stuff of what they have or like, um, like it's like a Boy Scout patch.
Like I turned a, I turned a straight guy. Right. Right. And I did fuck my scout master.
So that all comes full circle. He we blow to load all over my chest. Oh yeah. Man, you, you were a scout, I guess.
Uh, I was a Cub Scout for I literally a day mark and then I was like, I was looking around. They were doing like this weird candlelight ceremony where like it was part of the nights or like this is a candlelight ceremony. Like this is, this is one of the things that we have to do before we go out in the wilderness and I was like, this is dumb. Like we're lighting candles.
Like I, like, let's get out there already. Like I, I, we were going to be building cars and I thought we were going to be doing like manly stuff and there's lighting candles and stuff. And that was all, that was it for me. If I would have stuck through, I guess I would have got to go, you know, camping and hunting and all that stuff, but, uh, it didn't happen.
No, I was a Cub Scout for years and you watched the video, you know, like the presentation video, join the Cub Scouts and they're doing zip line and they're at a fire drinking cocoa and a tent and fishing and blowing each other. And none of that was real except the last part. So it's, it's a pretty shitty, you know, you got to go to meetings and you make spaghetti for old people, you do a box guard, derby race, nobody cares about. So yeah, it was, it was a ruse.
Yeah, it was, I think that's like the first pyramid scheme that we got involved in as kids was Boy Scouts because it's all this buildup. And then you end up at the summer camp, like you said, that has none of the cool equipment or anything like that. Like, like the community college that I went to, I literally had better equipment, like, like camera stuff and broadcast stuff at my high school than in my college. It was the weirdest thing.
And it was just a community college in Kansas, but it was just one of those things that was pretty eye-opening. I was like, Oh, funding is like a real thing at these different schools and stuff like that's crazy. This is what like the parents and PTR actually voting on like, Oh, we're going to put our money towards this or that. And at the college, it was like, they were just like way behind on the times.
Like my teacher, I was like, do you guys use this? He goes, no, that's way too expensive. We don't have that here. That's like, yeah.
You're supposed to be like above where I just came from. Yeah, but it's community. So you got the community camera, you know, that some guy donated. It's true.
It's like one of those shoulder cams that, uh, that our dads like to come home videos on. So, or just like an old-year's caster. Right. Right.
But wait a minute, did you go, because I went to public school and I went to Catholic school, which was, which was weird, but public school, I used to watch these movies, like Breakfast Club and all this shit, pretty in pink and they had soda and they had these giant libraries with books and statues and staircases and the school looks so modern. I never had a modern school. My school was like 8,000 years old. I'm into Orleans.
It's all wood and falling apart. The paint's peeling off. Did you have one of those cool Hollywood high schools? So from preschool through seventh grade, I was in a similar situation as you.
I was in a, I was in a private Christian school where literally everything was behind on the times. Like, I remember looking at slides and stuff like they had those old cylinder slides and that's how we learned a lot of stuff is they had these old, you know, the big Britannica encyclopedias and all that stuff and it was rare for us to go to the internet at, because the internet was barely even a thing. They had like a couple old desktop computers, like the IBM's and stuff like that. Right.
They would maybe get 10 minutes of internet time. It was like a huge deal at this school. And then I went to public school and that's when everything was like, they had the broadcasting stuff, they had filmmaking, they had photography classes, they had, they had a lot of like different opportunities and stuff like that. But the school that I grew up going to was way behind on the times.
It's usually the other way around. The private Catholic has more money coming in than the public, but maybe Kansas is different because it was flip-flop in my estate. Yeah. Well, the thing with Kansas is at this specific private Christian school, they're just old school mentality in general.
So, you know what I mean? Like, I think that they looked at for a while, they probably looked at even technology as like, are we sure this might be a trick from Satan? You know what I mean? I see.
It might be one of those things. Yeah. So I think that's where their heads were at. Like, no, we're going to, we're going to teach with what we know.
And that's slides have proven to be a good solid Christian foundation. And these books, books don't lie, but that electronic computer, that could lie to us. I don't know. Right.
Right. I get what you're putting down, basically saying no blacks at the school. Basically. All right.
Behind the times, I hear you loud and clear. We are live here on stereo with Mark Norman, and we're going to play some messages from you guys, the listeners. How many times have you been doing Joe Rogan? Sorry.
While Joe Rogan was there. Wasn't that the 400 or 500th episode of Kill Tony? I forget. That was so fun, though.
Oh, he's asking about me doing my Rogan impression for Joe Rogan. Wow. I'd like to see that. Oh, we did it on an episode of Kill Tony.
And I'll repost it on Instagram because I don't think... Boys. Yeah, yeah. It was a really fun night.
I did. I had a professional makeup person put me in a bald cap and I had fake tattoos and on it shirt. And I was lifting cattle bells in front of them. And it went over great, but we'll see.
It could be the reason I'll never do Rogan. I have no idea. No, he's fun. I thought he loved it.
No, he was actually a great sport. He was super cool about it. Actually, he handled it the best possible way because in my head, I was like, if he hates this, I'm going to bomb bigger than I've ever bombed in my life. Yeah, yeah.
Like sitting on stage with somebody that you do an impression of and you're just looking at them. And the worst thing somebody could say is like, I don't sound like that or I don't do that. You know what I mean? That's...
Then you're like, the cat's out of the bag. Like the guy who is supposed to give the nod of approval is not, but luckily he gave the nod of approval and it was a fun night. Yeah, I'll have to repost that. So you'll have to post that.
You've got to post that. And whatever I do is podcast. I just make fun of him for three hours and he's always laughing. So he's a good egg.
Yeah. Yeah. Good dude. Good dude for sure.
We're live here on Stereo with Mark Norman taking another message for you guys. What was the strangest venue that either of you have ever played at? I know when Mark was in Toronto. He was playing at a rundown porn theatre.
It was a shutdown porn theatre. Yeah, it was pretty dingy. The weed brand's right. The weed cookies or whatever were there.
But yeah. What about both of you? I mean, we've done shows, you name it. I've been shows at an Isis bunker.
My mom's asshole. I mean, I'll take any gig, but that Toronto theatre was dingy. The floors were sticky. I think Fred Willard was a jerk in the back row, but it was, I remember I saw a rat from the stage.
I just, I just let it go. But yeah, that was nothing compared to some of the places I'm sure we both done. I did one. This is, and this is like a fabled gig that used to, that a lot of communities would make the run on up in Morro Bay in California.
It was called Osaka Joes. And it was a sushi restaurant where you got paid in sushi for the weekend. It was all you could eat sushi, but that's basically what you were making. And you stayed in the back of the sushi restaurant that he converted into a room, and you're staying on the grounds of, he's, I think he was sleeping somewhere else, like in the rest, it was very, very weird.
So I went with a buddy to do that. And that was the first time that I got my name as a comedian in a newspaper, because they're like, this weekend at Osaka Joes, come see Jeremiah Watkins. And I clipped it out and I was like, this is, this is so cool. You know what I mean?
Like that moment as a comedian seeing your name like in print, which that's kind of a dying thing now. Like blogs and stuff like that. Like that's always cool, like little articles, but there's something old school and like something to write home about, like to see that newspaper. Like, oh wow, this is, this is happening.
That was one of the stranger gigs that I did. Definitely. I have all my clippings. I framed them like a fucking dweeb.
But yeah, I did a gig, this kid, this kid's like an entrepreneur. Now he does all my, my tech stuff and YouTube stuff. He put me at his apartment in Philadelphia in his horrible neighborhood. He, we go downstairs, he's got a full backdoor operation comedy club running out of his basement.
And I'm talking pipes dripping, the whole thing, like cinderblock walls, tiny basement. And it was like, it was like one of those old school, what do you call that? Like a, like a poker game, like a speakeasy type poker game back in the 20s when that was illegal or whatever. You know, you get to slide the thing and your eyes are there and he goes, what's the password?
You say, come guzzler, he opens the door. And this guy must have had 60 people. We did three shows with 60 people each. They all sold out.
And then eventually he got raided because he's, you know, there's no liquor license. He's selling booze. He's got no cabaret license or whatever the hell this guy was selling merch. This guy was a goddamn entrepreneur and eventually got shut down.
See, that's what I love about comedy though is like comedy will always find a way, even in these pain demos. Yeah, that's what I respect really about a lot of you guys in the New York scene that really continued to be able to do stand up at a high caliber and a lot of different places. Like everybody's saying, I'm early, just put out that special, yeah, on a way to do it up on rooftops. You know what I mean?
Like totally. That's, that's, that's to me is like the New York spirit in general is like, we're going to make this thing happen where LA there's still shows and stuff, but um, there's a different kind of fear that people have in LA of, um, I think of where you guys reacted in a way where you're like, we're going to make this happen where a lot of people saw it in LA, I think, as an opportunity to, I'm going to sit this out for a little bit. Right. I'm going to go inside and you guys are like, well, we're close to each other in proximity all the time.
So we have to figure this out. Yes. Yes. Good point.
Good point. Yeah. Like, I remember talking to Theo Vaughn. This is probably in July and he's like, this is fucking great.
I'm taking some time off. I love it. And I'm everything like, ah, I cannot sit with my own thoughts. I got to keep moving.
I just, I hate to have losing a year of my life and just think about how much better you'd be at stand up if you had this full year and how much more material you'd have and money and stories. So I couldn't sit still. I got to keep moving and maybe that's a New York thing. But yeah, I don't know how you guys do it in LA.
I'd be on the road every weekend if I live there. I've been on the road more than a lot of comments. Oh, good for you. Yeah.
Um, which does been good. But the thing that's weird for me right now is because there's not as many chances to get up around town, I have to work out my stuff a little bit differently right now. Sure. Sure.
So there's audiences that they're here in some brand new stuff in the middle of my sets, which you know how that goes. It's like, uh, sometimes you're like, oh, okay, that was better response from what I thought. But sometimes it's like, okay, I'm glad I have another joke in the back pocket to get out of this ditch that I just dove for myself completely. Yeah, yeah, story by the way, but I think even audiences are rusty now.
You know, it's like, we're trying to go down on some gal and we haven't done it in seven months and she hasn't been eaten out in seven months. So she's still like, Hey, I'll take it. I mean, at least you're licking my thigh. You know, you're missing my my clip and all that.
But uh, yeah, at least I'm getting something. So I think they're fine with it and we're trying shit. It's it's some potty co. Yeah, it's a very interesting time to be a stand up right now, especially trying to tour anything like that.
Uh, we're live here on stereo with Mark Norman taking your messages and maybe even some scene suggestions. Mark and I might act out some stuff for you live here in Jeremiah wonders. Hey, Mark, are you and Sam Marilla starting a podcast or what? Well, as you've seen in the beginning of this, I don't know how to do anything with tech, any buttons or computer or anything.
I'm clueless. So we just do it on YouTube. We film it via zoom. I send him the thing.
He puts it up on YouTube because I'm clueless and people like you got to put this on iTunes or Spotify. I'm like, I don't know how to do it. And we're already we're already lost. So it's a it's on YouTube.
It's once a week. It's an hour of us bullshitting and catching up and doing bits. So yeah, check it. Let's go to one more drink.
We start out with a cocktail, we swing it back. We talk, we bullshit is with the pandemic. We can't hang. So these pockets are a way to hang and let them let the people at home watch.
So we're doing it on YouTube. So I guess we got to the iTunes chip. Yeah, as comics, what probably a lot of people don't realize is we're used to like in New York and LA or anywhere where there's a scene really, we're used to being in parking lots or going out to eat late at night where that's kind of where we get our yayas out and we get a riff and we get a just like you said kind of catch up. So that's a great idea for a podcast to stay in touch with Sam be like, dude, my engine's still running.
Like if I don't take this car out of the drive every way, it's going to depreciate and value. Yes, exactly. Great way to put it. And yeah, we're crazy.
I feel like comics are a different, different breed. So you need to connect with another comic just to feel somewhat normal. Yeah, my wife really doesn't like it when I call some of her friends that aren't in the industry, normies or normal people. She's like, my physical.
She's like, don't, she's like, don't do that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But like, it's hard to explain.
Like, if I'm not around a comic for a long time, I'm like, I'm not expressing myself on a full wavelength with with. Yeah, so many filters you have to put on with regulars or civilians as I call them and mortals, if you will, Jews. But yeah, there's so many filters you have to put on that like, it's exhausting hanging out with them and they go, no, you can be yourself around the ego. Oh, great.
I think you say one thing and they go, Jesus, they call 911, you know, so it never works out. They always say that, oh, I'm crazy. I'm nuts too. And then you go, well, what do you think about a miscarriage and a placenta, whatever it is.
And they just start fucking running through the, through the fields. Have you said something in front of a family or friend when you go back home when where you're like, Oh, I'm not around my comedian friends anymore? Oh, yeah. Storing my life.
I mean, there's so many. I can't even pin one down, but I'm in a abortion joke once. And my girlfriend is cool enough where she took me aside and like, she tried to like patch it up. And then she got, she took me in the bathroom.
She's like, you got to cool it with that shit. I was like, Oh, yeah, yeah, you're right. Sorry. But I was just, I didn't even think about it.
I just made the joke. And you know, grandma Johnson ain't ready for that shit. Yeah, I have a podcast that's coming out here in a little bit that I recorded back home with my dad and I asked him about, and he's an old school guy, I asked him about gay marriage and stuff like that. And not in a joking way, but it was interesting to get his raw response on a podcast.
Where I was like, Oh, yeah, I forget. I'm living, you know, we're living very different lives. I live in LA, you live in Kansas, like, yeah, you kind of forget sometimes when you get in your comfort zone around friends and stuff like that, where you're like, Oh, yeah, like this isn't everybody's point of view, which that's what's great about going out on the road as a stand up is like, you reminded like if you start talking a certain way on stage, like, Oh, yeah, not everybody's going to respond in this way. I got to remember that.
Yeah, but at least I agree, but at least the homophobic racist lunatic guy is interesting to listen to, you know, whenever the weird uncle starts talking, all the all the relatives roll their eyes. But as the comic, I'm sitting back on this is fucking great. This guy's talking about, you know, burning crosses or whatever the fucking is. And I don't agree with them, but at least it's titillating.
Yeah, don't agree with your viewpoints. But you're a fascinating man, sir. I will listen to you. Around the fires.
Let's have a chat. Let's do this. You hear here. We're live here on stereo with Mark Norman.
Listen to your messages, taking scene suggestions and your requests. Speaking of gay, what's the gayest thing either of you have done for the sake of a joke? It's got to be up there for me as I do this ongoing joke with my buddy, Stevie Weebie, which is if you don't know, it's Bobby Lee's little brother. And he's hilarious.
We have this ongoing joke. We're called scissor brothers and we have trimmed each other's pubes on multiple occasions. And that's probably that's probably up there for me. Wow, that's really something that's just trust in general.
That's beyond gay. That's like a loving trusting relationship. That's called marriage. What are you guys doing?
Yeah, that that that is bananas. I don't have that with any woman I've ever been with. I would let a lady put her a buzzer near my sack, but hey, to each his anal, but I guess one time I was on a party bus when I was like 15 years old with a girl and were making out and she whipped it out and she's kind of blowing me a little bit. And this is your 15.
So this is unbelievable. And my friend was drunk walking up and down the bus yelling stuff and doing whatever. And he saw that and he goes, Hey, and she picked her head up and my friend did a couple of these. And then he ran off.
He gave you a couple pumps? Yeah, yeah, jokingly. But it was kind of like she was freaked out. He's a marine now.
So who knows what that means? Dude, that's like, that's even a joke to me. Like that's a funny like you. You were like, man, that's pretty extreme with the op-yoop saying I was a little much and then I'm listening and to you and I'm like, Oh, dude, he jerked you off a little bit.
Like that's that's next level. Yeah, he was one of those who took the joke a little too far. You know what I mean? Just really going for the yucks.
Yeah, he commits his full commitment. Yes. And probably about two, two, three strokes and he was off into the sunset. And you're like, and that was the last day I hung out with an act out comic.
Yeah, well, I still came. But either way, that person was a Ralphie Mae. Dude, that's that's a pretty epic story. You kind of blew mine out of the water.
I was like, I think this is pretty good. And then you're like, hold my beer real quick. Well, yours is trust. That that is real friend trust.
Was he nude? Like did you see his package? We just pulled our pants down like to where the pubes are popping out the jeans. And then we had scissors and and cut each other's stuff.
Yeah. Now, let me ask is an Asian pube different than a Kansas pube. It's very different. It's very different.
I told him mine were like a cinnamon and brown. They're like a golden kind of brown. And his very jet black, very dark, very, very much so, very much so interesting. Okay.
And like, and also a little bit more straight than mine. Yes. Which I didn't, I thought all pubes had the same amount of curl to them because mine is, you know, a little froy down there. His, his looked more like, kind of like a, like some kind of mink coat.
Like the hairs of a skunk, you know what I mean? Just kind of, kind of wiry, kind of matted. Interesting. All right.
Asian pubes. Maybe they should sell those like as like this fine, silky, kind of expensive fabric. You know, that'd be funny. Like, Oh, welcome to my home.
I'm a rich guy. Here's my Asian pube couch. You know, that'd be fun. I mean, all the different, the, the different mustache pieces, you know, that go on those, those bald mannequin heads, you know, that you see at wake shops.
Yeah. We get ceramic, you know, penises and balls. And then you're like, this is the Asian pubes over here. This, this is a, this is a Wahawkin pubes set over here.
Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. What kind of, what are you looking for for this, this, this porn scene?
They have like the, that thing, a Merkin. That's what they call it. Yeah. There you go.
The Asian Merkin is worth the most. It's the most rare and most coveted. It's like a mink or a chinchilla. Exactly.
Exactly. You're listening to pube talk right now and Jeremiah wonders, talking all about pubes. If you have any pubic hair questions, just why don't you fire them in? Well, address them on.
What do you, what do your shoes look like, Mark? I go full main full bush. Sometimes if I notice it's really creeping up on the thighs, I'll clear the thighs off because you don't want that shit in the driveway. Now you want to keep a nice line on the, on the yard.
So I'll clear the thighs off, but other than that, I let it ride. Nice. Nice. My ball sack is horrifying.
I mean, just strands of gray hairs shooting out like lightning from either end and it's pretty wild. Just Edward Scissorhands, just like at the bottom, just like just mounds of hair. Yeah, it's pretty good. I got a full main.
What about you? I vary. I'll let mine grow out in the winter and then I'll do a man's scape where I fully go down buzz, like I'll give it a buzz cut. So basically I start off as a hippie and then I go into the military and then I get all strung out on heroin and stuff and become a hippie again.
Then I get my act together. It's a spack and forth thing that I have. Right, right. That's fun.
Yeah, your pubes are like, they're reinventing. Exactly. Yes. Sometimes my balls look like they're about to invent something or they've got a hypothesis for something because they're wild-eyed and bushy.
Yes. Yes. pubic Edison. Pubic Edison or Cock Brown.
Cock Brown is pretty good. That's a good porno name for Back to the Future. Oh, yeah. I like that.
Right? Cock Brown. What are you doing? Yeah, Michael J.
Fox could have an orgasm and shake. All right. Come on, folks. I didn't need to do the act out for that.
I liked it. I needed it. Yep. We're here live with the stereo app with Mark Norman taking your questions and suggestions.
Mark, I just wanted to take the opportunity to thank you personally. I do acting a little bit. I was on the set of a film. It was the first day.
We were shooting a shit talking about our favorite comedians and jokes. I mentioned one of your jokes. It's one of my favorites still. Does mention pedophiles?
Only later did I realize that I told a joke about pedophiles on the first day of a new job and I had to send out an apology email to everyone on the cast and crew that night. Oh, man. It was very embarrassing, but still one of my favorite jokes. Thank you for the experience.
Love it. Thank you. Hey, thanks. I'm proud.
I know that joke. I'm proud of that joke. I stand by the jokes. The writing is still there just because the substance matter is dark or heavy or tense.
The writing is still there so they can all blow me and blow a kid. That's how I have a I don't have too many jokes that are risque if you if you will. I more sexual stuff, but I've got a couple jokes that are in that vein where I'm like, sometimes it'll get a groan from an audience. I'm like, Nope, that writing is perfect.
Don't exactly listen to it before you hear those trigger words. You know what I mean? Yes. Yes.
And at least that joke he told even if they were offended. At least they felt something. You know what I mean? That to me that if you get a groan, I'm not saying you go out there and just say the N word.
That's not skill. But if you're getting a groan, David Telway says you're on to something because it hit a nerve. It's true. You're correct.
They've thought that or they don't want to think that. And or Anthony Jeslenec says a groan is a laugh put for Pussies. So I always think about that. So that's a fun joke.
I appreciate the love there, Chachi, whatever that guy's name was, but don't listen to those queefs that work. They're all a bunch of squares. I feel like Jeslenec could have that as a secret tattoo somewhere on his body. Like a groan.
Yeah, I mean, a groan is just a laugh for Pussies. Yeah. And by the way, this guy's got to give an apology to his employees. Like, isn't that weird?
That's what again, back to the comedian on comedian thing. I don't get why if you tell a joke about something that exists. Why that's bad. Like he's not fucking kids.
He didn't fucking kids, but he told a joke about other people fucking kids and he's the bad guy. It's very strange world. But you know, we're just living in it. Yeah, I, um, I had a similar thing at one job where I don't know why I did this.
I guess I felt comfortable enough like around trying to be a comic at this job. It was the first job that I got in LA. So I think then, so I wasn't really doing, I was doing stand up at the time, but like you can't really claim yet to be a stand up if you know what I mean. So you're trying to really show people that you're a funny guy.
And I had this job as the first job that I had moving to LA was this phone sales job, where I was a music promotion for different artists and stuff like that. It was like different like PR and stuff like that, like different promotional packages that this company offered. And this guy that was the boss, he was like this hip guy, like colored hair, but he was like, you know, he was like the management of the team. And he was like the guy that's going to get us all riled up like, Hey, we're going to sell today.
We're going to get you new artists. We're going to hook you guys up. Who's ready? You know, like trying to like get us like charged and stuff for the day.
He goes around to give fist bumps to everybody in the circle. And I see it coming my way and and everybody's just kind of, yeah, you know, giving us fist bump. And when he got to me for the fist bump, I, and because he kept doing explosions with everybody around, he was the fist bump explosion guy, right? So yeah, hey, what's up?
So when he got to me, I was like, I got to put a little spice on this thing, right? So when he got to me and he fist bumped, rather than me exploding with him, I went like this and fake jizzed in his face. And it's just it brought the whole company meeting to a stop. Like that's great.
Where he literally was like, did you just fake jizz in my face? And I was like, yeah, this is not sorry. And he's like, buddy. And then he's like, all right, well, let's have a good day, guys.
Like he just like kind of like brush past it. Oh, this guy stinks. He can't roll with the punches. He can't adapt.
Come on. That's funny. I thought it was funny. I was like, let's put a new spin on this.
Let's make this happen. Yeah. I mean, the worst is I've been fired for many jobs when they told me to be edgy. And then I was edgy and they fired me.
That what do you mean? Like, that's so weird. Like certain gigs or gigs, I hosted a game show. This guy saw me at the seller at a hot set.
He said, I want to hire you to host this game show. And he's like, I like that you walk the line. You're edgy. I want you to be edgy on my show as a host.
I said, great. And I got fired the first day was a five day shoot got fired the first day within like the first hour. What do you do? Remember any of the things that you sure I had to host it was a Halloween themed show and I had to host a costume contest.
So you know, these girls would walk over like hot outfits, catwoman and you know, Wonder Woman and all these sexy witch whatever. And they had a panel of judges. They were doing like the nine, the 10, eight. And so this catwoman walked on sexy leather big whip, rarrel claws.
And she's walking off. She hits the whip and an African queen is coming on. And I go, Hey, watch that whip around the African. And you can just see the cameras went to the lights flicker, the plants died.
They fired me right after that. But my head was like, the edgy, there's a joke opportunity. Go for it. And they didn't like that.
Wow. First day of a five day shoot. That is a, did they even offer payment for the rest of the days? Or did they just?
They cut me off, but my manager fought it. And he said, we're gonna sue you said be edgy. We have email saying be edgy. That's edgy.
Like, how do we know what your edgyness Richter scale is? So they paid us. Well, that's good. It's good.
You had a good manager to follow through on that because that that's a huge opportunity as a comic. And then it's like, what do you expect? I gave you exactly what you wanted. Exactly.
It's like hiring somebody for porn. And then he's like getting a boner and whipping it out. Everybody's like, jeez, there's Christ. Like not like that.
I don't know what you want. Make love to her. What are you talking about? Who do you want that's gang bang happening?
Yeah, yeah, exactly. So with all my comic friends and you know this, they always go, wait, you crazy? When they say be edgy, that doesn't mean edgy? You can't be actually edgy.
They just say that shit to sound cool. I had somebody message. This is a very weird message that I got from a listener that they work with. Have you heard of the bang bus?
Have you heard of that? I think. I heard of auditions. Of course.
I love bang bus. They said one, I guess one of the guys is like a producer or like works on set somehow with that thing bus series. And he said that he put, I didn't watch it because I was like, I don't know if I don't really want to watch it. But he said that he included in one of their recent videos a like an inside joke from Kill Tony inside one of the scenes, like a weird like mention.
And I was like, that's that's real weird. That's a weird like head nod. Like, I appreciate your work. So I'm going to give back to you.
Yeah, just appreciate it. I was like, you're going above and beyond. I appreciate you though. What a guy.
We are live with the stereo app with Mark Norman taking some scene suggestions, some fun questions and more. I sent my first take pick recently in the mail. Hopefully. Yeah, I sent it yesterday.
So she should get it by Christmas, right? She's getting a package. Hello. Oh, and she finally a podcast is interesting.
All right, I'll take it. I don't know if it was tongue and cheek or not, but I'll take it. Sound like it. Look, I used to live in the forest and I used to burn fires.
I used to burn fires and I didn't think what was going on around me. But once a day, I realized it was just a fire. He used to burn fires in the woods, Mark. Wow.