Blackbird singing in the dead home now Take these broken wings and learn to fly Your lie You are only waiting for this moment to arrive It's me, Paul McCartney And you're listening to Jeremiah Wanders It's me, favourite bookcase and I all entire world Hello, that's coming from me, Appetal So listen, tell all your friends and subscribe And all the channels you want and all those of me Look at all I, to listen to it And it makes me really happy And that's coming from me, Appetal Well, goodbye Wow, it is such an honour to have Sir Paul McCartney Backing Jeremiah Wanders Man, this podcast is really reaching people And that feels good, guys It feels really good, what's up everybody? How's your week? What's going on? Hope this is starting your day off on a positive, light, good foot How a busy week, man Men, ladies, yows, dudes, doodets, people, friends Good stuff though, good stuff Pat Reagan and I are working our butts off For the Reagan & Watkins album Of course, everything takes a little bit longer Than you'd like it to, but the stuff that we are recording We feel really confident about And as long as everything goes according to plan We should be able to release this album in July I'm dropping that news right now, I'm hoping we can make that happen But July is the tentative release date for the Reagan & Watkins album And could not be more excited to share that with you Rick Hasick came up with us to Ventura Where we're recording in the studio And he shot some behind the scenes stuff and he's gonna cut together a promo And Rick Hasick, earlier guest on this episode with Jason Weamanacunya Great dude, can't say nice enough things about that guy Such an honor to have him working with us I mean, I grew up with Jackass He's done a lot of things outside of that Specifically that show was something I grew up with I was in love with and he played a big role in that show Shot and covered some of the most hilarious shenanigans That you saw over the years of the MTV show and movies and everything Yeah, super excited about that Somebody asked me about Black Mirror a while ago I forgot to answer this question Yes, I finished Black Mirror My favorite episode, Mark Rolesen was an ask me That my favorite episode, why?
Had to be that horror episode Where the guy basically gets like an implant I forget the title of the episode And he is in like this haunted house basically Where he's seeing stuff in front of him And just the way that episode devolved throughout It made me jump a lot, especially for it not being a movie It's just being like an episodic show on Netflix That episode got him in it freaked me out That episode stayed with me for days There are some other good ones that stayed with me for a while The one where the people are the soldier one Where they think that they're seeing like monsters and stuff like that Like kind of zombie like people But again, that's another chip kind of base technology That's altering the reality where it's actually just like a race of people Which that one stuck with me because that basically Was kind of similar to highlighting what happened maybe With Nazi Germany and stuff Like how they conditioned and worked people's minds to make them start thinking of people in horrible crazy ways So anyway, those were my couple of my favorite episodes of that It was in Moon Tower this weekend in Austin, Texas Yeah, baby, love Austin We did the Gaudium comedy jam there We did my show Stand Up on the Spot there And I did some other stand up spots as well And we even did some musical comedy for Jude Freelander for his show For Sirius XM and then also for Big J. Oakerson's crowd work show So with Avery Pearson and Josh Emmires So that was super fun, I had a great time doing that And I got to work with my buddy Dom Iraira And we volunteered our time for this local community theater show That the premise of behind this company I hope I'm doing this justice They're called the story Wranglers And basically they take like third graders stories And put them into play format So Dom and I acted in a series of scenes That were written by third graders And Dom was wearing a wig and an angel halo And I dressed up as this P plum character There was a pregnant half pregnant P slash plum lady Who's having a baby shower And I wore a dress and like a P songbarero and spilled P's all over the stage Guys, it was some classic comedy And seeing Dom working with him in that different capacity It was so cool because he used to be like a stage actor And do a lot of acting on how he started out So it was really cool to work with him in that different capacity And everybody was so appreciative that we were just there And that we were there to support Because it was a bunch of teachers, we performed for a bunch of teachers And the Austin scene And I felt good, get back in the community, my wife's a teacher And I was like this is a great way to volunteer my time While this comedy festival was going on in the head of the festival Calling McGarsh out to her, runs an amazing festival She asked Dom and I do it, we were like of course So that was very cool And had just a great time in Austin, Texas I love seeing my New York pals out there Big Jay, Oakerson, Dulce Sloane, Yamaneka Saunders, Matteo Lane, Krista Stefano, Joe List, Mark Norman, DeLiscoz on But anyway, it's always great to see friends from different parts of the country You get to hang out with them in one spot, that's the best thing about these comedy festivals I feel super lucky and grateful to be performing at different places like that I got a letter that I want to read on the show that somebody sent in And I don't know what they sound like, I don't know what they look like So I'm going to think about that And I'm going to wonder what they sound like, and I'm going to wonder Maybe what it would be like if they were actually reading me this letter, so here it goes Dear Jeremiah, I wanted to reach out to you because I was inspired by your podcast to participate in your kindness challenge I'm a stay-at-home dad and I work from home as a commission artist Drawing portraits of athletes, musicians, and animals, or whatever else people may want I want to draw a portrait of you as a thank you for all the laughs you provide My girlfriend and I, along with her two-year-old son, make a two-hour drive to Monterey, California Every Sunday so that I can practice with my dad Our drive seems to fly recently Because we get to listen to your podcast and laugh the entire way down there From the band's characters on Kill Tony to the phone calls on the podcast, I've always been able to count on you for a good laugh Listening to you to convince Eric Griffin that Maunce has us calling in, Hat McDonough I'm a big fan of the podcast, you can't wait to see how it grows, you introduce video into the mix Please get Malcolm Hatchet on the podcast as a guest, you guys would have a ton of fun, I'm sure Hope you enjoy your portrait, looking forward to Reagan and Watkins album Keep doing what you do, it's a lot of fun to listen to Much love, Dylan Castello Thank you so much to Dylan Castello for this very nice letter And sending me those portraits, I'm going to post them on my Instagram and social media later this week Very cool, very talented artist, I appreciate it, man And the music that you heard during that letter was from Joshua Gershensen, a song called Colorado Season So I appreciate you sending in that music to the show And you can send a music to the show, I'll try to use it in the intro, if it works out Email me at yourboygermyawakensajima.com, that's a YOUR boygermyawakensajima.com Really been enjoying the letters and your updates with me on the kindness challenge And it feels good to pay forward and give back and send other people that need help Helping him, I promise that it's improved my life just forcing myself to have this kindness challenge on the podcast Because sometimes I'm like, oh yeah, I need to do something, I just need to do something nice for stranger this week And this podcast is kind of keeping me to it as well So let's see how much positivity we can share around, see what happens, see if we can make a difference And other people's lives, eh? Yeah, I never like to get too preachy on the show, but I am very big about being positive, being a positive guy and spreading joy So I hope this podcast is helping out Want to give shout out to the sponsors of the show this week, we have a new sponsor Yeah, that's right, they told me that I didn't have to read this copy word for word But I kind of want to because I just want to kind of fun with it and you should check out their website The sponsor this week is BadMirror.tv, here it goes BadMirror.tv is replacing traditional broadcasting with more curated local flavors of Internet hosted channels Think of it like a hyper local TV experience that easily lets you get a feel for what's going on in your area And you can use it in sports to entertainment and even education So don't mourn the death of TV, just help us bring it back to life Better, head over to BadMirror.tv and discover your local awesome So there it goes, that's like my first official reading copy So I hope you guys aren't groaning Check out their website, it's called BadMirror.tv They hosted one of my stand-up clips on there, me doing my Kings of Leon impression From Denver Comedy Works, that's up there on their site at BadMirror.tv They're sponsoring the show for the next few weeks, so check them out I appreciate all the nice and positive reviews that have been coming in on iTunes If you haven't done that yet, go over there, leave a review, give me a five-star rating That helps with the rankings on iTunes, helps more people discover this podcast I appreciate all the people who came out to see me in Austin who are Kill Tony fans Who support Jeremiah Wonder, I'm connecting with some really cool people And this podcast has been very special to me, so I appreciate all the support guys Also, definitely got to give props to Bronx-born pizza in Bend Oregon My buddy, Thomas Shiffer, he hooked me up If you have been listening to the episodes, he hooked me up with equipment To help me start doing video basically Laptop, lights, camcorder, and guess what? It's going to be happening this week, I'm going to be releasing the video I'm going to be trying to start video releasing on Wednesdays And be releasing the podcast episodes on Mondays So Johnny Pembertins, this episode will be released on Wednesday as long as I don't hit any technical difficulties And that will just be up on my YouTube at youtube.com I'll share that on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, all that stuff, so you guys are in the mix So thank you Bronx-born pizza and Bend Oregon, go support them if you're in that area They did me a huge solid and they're doing the show, huge solid, so I really appreciate that And of course, my buddy, Gino over Speedweed, yeah, that's right You like marijuana?
Oh, well guess what? They freaking deliver it to you Wow, yes, a weed connoisseur dream to be delivered marijuana in the comfort of their home Gino's a great dude, he hooks up all the shows at the Comedy Store, a lot of good podcasts You probably heard Joe Rogan talk about him on the Joe Rogan Experience Great dude, if you need that weed, go to Speedweed at Speedweed on Twitter And OG sponsor, Joe's Pizza, Joe's Pizza LA on Sunset And West Hollywood, tell Joe that I freaking sent you Yeah, we eat his pizza every week during the pizza party segment So do that up, man, don't want to make this intro too much longer I want to get through some tour dates very quickly And thank you guys again for, just like Kiltony fans are the coolest and just desk-wide fans And a lot of people, that's how they know about Jeremiah Wonders And it's just so cool, like how many people have reached out to me Who whenever I post something I need help for flyers or video There's some people who are working on some animation sequences for the Jeremiah Wonders video podcast Which I'm very excited about, which I will share with you guys soon But here's some tour dates, and while I read these tour dates, some more music got sent to me From this band, Windows of Lucidity with their song called Abstract Shades of Grey Here we go, April 27th through 28th, Salt Lake City, Utah I'm there with the Golden Pony, Tony Hinchcliffe Why is guys baby, Salt Lake City, Utah, the Golden Pony, the Golden News? Riding together again! May 2nd, I'm with Steve Byrne at the Hollywood Improv He is doing a showcase for a bunch of networks for his next one hour special Me and Avery Pearson all be playing sax, Avery will be on the keys We're like his late night band for that show We're basically showcasing the networks too, so if you're in LA that'd be a good early show Come see me at an 8 o'clock show at the improv on May 2nd Then May 8th, stand up on the spot with Jeremiah Watkins baby Always new, different killer lineups, that shows my baby, come see it every second Tuesday of the month at the store May 10th, I'm headlining the rec room in Huntington Beach, California That's gonna be a blast, I bring my pals Omar Nava and Justin Alexio From the building years to do that show with me That's gonna be a lot of fun And then May 11th, Kiltony is in Las Vegas baby Las Vegas market calendars May 11th and May 17th or 19th of featuring Poor Golden Tony Henshweiff and we're doing Kiltony shows San Francisco punch line May 17th through 19th that weekend Check their website Let's get into this episode, Johnny Pumpterson Wow, what a treat, what a gem This guy liked to get weird with me This is maybe the weirdest episode of Jeremiah Wonders yet And I mean that in the best possible way And Thomas Shiffer from Bronx Morn Pizza made possible You'll hear some interesting call-ins and phone calls And there's some things going on with voices and stuff There's some equipment that had a lot to do with how we made that possible We made that possible on the fly And you'll see that whenever the video comes out I'm messing around with some touch pads and stuff like that So, without further ado, check out Johnny Pumpterson's album coming up We talked about it in this episode And support him, Google him like he says And without further ado, now, let's get into Jeremiah Wonders with Johnny Pemberton We are live live live live live live live live People have been wanting video for this thing AND it's happening with Johnny Pumpterson Look at us.
Look at us. We're on video on audio full sag. We're all over the internet right now Sank screeners. Yep.
Do you get those? I've got them. You've got them. I've got them.
Yeah, I watch them Yeah, I also sell them. Wait, what I sell them online for hundreds of dollars people Taiwan for yeah Yeah, I make a significant amount of money selling illegal screeners. Isn't it your name like watermark? They're embedded in there.
I don't care man. I'm badass. Whoa. I don't give a shoot.
Whoa. You don't shoot. I'm shook Are in okay? I don't feel free about ducks.
I don't give a fruit about the duck. You don't give a fruit about the ducks Mm-hmm. I'll go back all day. You're Quack all day.
Crack all day. Call me. Call me down. I'll call me up Johnny Pemberton.
You got an album coming out soon, dude, right? Yeah, well It's out on cassette down if you're part of the club whoa the Starburns Starburns Club You got your cassette the cassette has a special hidden track on it won't be released digitally. So yeah, the album drops digitally May 15th Wow, it's album. It's all prank phone calls.
Prank phone calls and hold music. Well, that's great We get a lot of fun interesting people who call into the show. We have a lot of weird fans of the show So maybe we'll hear from them a little bit later on today, but yeah, I'd have you on the show They were excited whenever I announce that you're gonna be a guest. Yes.
Yes. We're doing it slippery So we met what do we meet probably like five years ago? Maybe that's hard to say I'm time is so Relative relative. Yeah, it is truly relative.
Mm-hmm. It's relative to the point of rock. Maybe not really even existing Yeah, are we is this a simulation that we're in? I mean probably right if it can be it is so but the thing is does it matter if it is a Simulation I think it does do you think we're a weird video game that God is playing like where the Sims?
Yeah, I think it's more that there's just other people who are using us as a simulator and they are simulators themselves It's like a thing where if everything is a fractal. There's it no point in which something it's like it's too late It's already already everything so it's like that thing where you know Why rush because you can't get there any faster anyways, so you might as well just take being a traffic jam I think we're in less like a traffic jam where this is just just this is it. This is your life. Yeah, mm-hmm Well, we I think I start seeing you around some of the festivals and different stuff like that probably yeah Yeah, I saw like I saw you and Brennan do I think the bone zone at moon tower years ago That was fun, man.
Yeah, I was missed that was I was sleeping in my hotel room I just got there that day because we were shooting the TV show back then and I was so tired I woke up just in time to walk really fast down to the velveter room and like it was like I was almost I was late I was like just to just perfectly too late like not just perfectly not too late. You know I'm saying yeah I was like I was like a haze of of sleep. I got there's a give me a Coke or something real quick here I gotta wake up. I think I have Red Bull right away.
Well you snapped into that character perfectly quickly so that was great Was I doing a character? I think I think you had a mole and a hat. Oh, that was different Was that was it moon tower was I think it was sure it was it was it the bones own live with Martha Kelly? There's also maybe is a different festival in Tulsa that was that was the one that was bigger.
Yeah, it's Dick or Troy It's a character a friend of mine. Yeah, he's a union driver. He's good friends Josh Fainham I just I know him kind of do you think I'm the call it do you think you could call into the show? Dick or come on.
Yeah, okay. Well, maybe we can hear from a little bit later. Yeah, Dick or Dick He's probably be able to you can like text him or something. I don't know.
He doesn't do tax back I can probably go yeah, I've got a rotary landline over in the corner over there for you. Yeah, that'll work. Okay. Cool.
Sounds good Now, what did you start you've been doing acting for quite a while, right? I guess so I'm doing comedy longer That's why I started with mm-hmm. How'd you get your start like war some of the first open mics and stuff that you started doing? I've got a weird history with standups.
I never got into open mics. I didn't like them the first couple went to I was like this sucks I feel like there was something about it. They felt very What's the word when people you feel like you can't you feel very ostracized if like you're like I felt very uncomfortable I thought I wasn't yeah Well, it's a very specific format that you're forced to do So if you are not flourishing in that format then it's like well, how am I gonna develop and feel good about the stuff that I'm creating right? Yeah, it's a good thing where you know actually look back on this a lot of places I thought were not open mics, but this was an open mic.
I was going to yeah I just for some reason thought that I had to call the person like Laura can I come to the show nice like yeah You can't yeah sure I get there and I'm like a sign-up sheet and yeah, basically yeah I just didn't understand I didn't understand the concept of the first time every day stand up though was uh Not the first time the first time ever did it for real was in the belly room real on me store because uh The long story how the short story of it is I was working at Fox and the web like Fox calm doing the website shit My first move chair and a lady I worked with a very nice woman named Haley. She was dating a comedian in Peter sprite at the time Well, I guess I should back up though. We were making this like web talk show for the Fox calm was making like a promotional talk shelf online to show you know have people from different shows come on and talk about their shows like it's just a 2006 I was like you know early internet not very robust and I was helping with that my friend Michael was like the host of it. We were like writing it internally.
It was a fun little stupid thing No one cared about it all right, but somehow they don't have money to let us produce this fucking thing We've written some space out and hired an audience I was like oh I'll do because I wanted to stand up really bad I was doing improv and stuff at the time but I want to start doing stand up because I've always wanted to stand up and I Decided I would do warm-up For this paid audience that was coming to this fucking web talk show and somewhere deep in the valley I'm like, oh, they're gonna pay the audience. They're gonna be so happy and want to laugh I was sure I'm gonna have the best set ever yeah my first time like my little fucking notes doing like oh god I was probably wearing like this crazy 70s golf pants like Bell Bottoms I got to use a dress like we're like really crazy vintage shit I used to do it. I used to wear a red jacket for the first few years of standard like this right red blazer I was a laser it was a blazer. That's even better.
Yeah, it's even worse actually. Oh, it's way worse. Yeah, it's better worse for sure Yeah, I thought that like that was gonna be my thing that made me you know be apart from everybody else I guess it kind of did right it did for a little bit it did its job for first but like years later Comics be like hey, man. Did you swear a red jacket?
Yeah, I did Yeah, I used to be a red jacket comic. Yeah, well I did that one that web talk show thing I did it in front of this audience who I thought was gonna love me and was like they I could just see the disdain and Score like they're there just a laugh when they need to be laughing an off camera. It's work for them I had no idea. I know I've never done that before no never will I've had to do it like back in the day I when I was doing background work I was doing also like paid audience paid audience work is ten times worse than back I bet because you have to actually do You have to laugh and say to bring something So I fucking bomb I'm like you know when you bomb and people won't make eye contact with you because it's like this thing where you're sort of like Poison it's like oh this person to experience something so bad that I don't want to have to look at them to feel because you like you emanate this stink It's like a thing if you look at someone who just bond they're like help me help me.
You know I don't have to help you. Yeah, this is my first time I mean I've done some stand up like in people's living rooms in college like twice just the friends like folk were drunk in stone Like doing this weird dumb shit and that was great, but that was also not the same thing So this was so terrible and I remember I'd get a gold saw me I mean you told me years later when I met him like through different circumstances like you don't realize this You probably remember this while you saw me do my next day first time comedy was the worst thing ever So and the host kind of sold me out and he got the audience got his side because he was like making fun of me Which he should have you know, right? You got a click you got a clear that situation. You got to address it Unfortunately, yes a young comic though.
You don't understand that no idea. So you're like oh no like Yeah, I feel like I'm getting it from every angle so I thought bad, but the thing is I didn't feel that bad I didn't feel like I wanted to do that again I just knew like okay after we evaluate this because I was this is not how it works and the woman Haley I worked with who was also working the talk with me She was like I'm dating this guy named Peter sprite who's just gonna comic and she put me in touch with him and Peter was like Come over my house. I'll help you with your writing so much was house And he like sat down with me and he like I told himself I was writing thinking about okay This is great. You have to shrink this down a lot like like a ton.
I'd like to cut it down and then this man is basically an angel He's like honest to God. He's probably one of the nicest most kind people to ever exist like not just not just my experience Like other people tell you the same thing this guy's like the fucking greatest Peter sprite so he He put me up on his show at the minute monthly show at the belly room with some other guy I can't remember his name. It's a Brian something he put me up on the show like I was like a girl go go to the connoisseur I don't know fucking shit. I've got a backpack.
I'm in there I'm just like I don't know what's going on here cuz I'm just hanging out at UCB and stuff Yeah, and this is like a whole new world So hang out in that back room there for probably two hours because I mean still the case now a lot of those Bellroom shows everyone gets to go up like all the people to go out the outside produce shows at the county store are Known for being very long Yeah, cuz you have to put up all these people who like like I remember having to go up after Francesca Hilton Oh, well and seemed like oh super crazy weird old people up there and I got to go up She used to heckle people from the audience. She's nuts totally nuts Yeah, I didn't know what I was getting into and the erin cader was you know He was hosting and he had I mean he Peter actually had a fucking VHS of this because he taped it for me So nice to like a sports thing. So what year was this whenever you're gonna? Probably 2006 okay, so I go up and I'm expecting it to be terrible I'm so nervous how like three high nikens beforehand I keep peeing like every five minutes in that bathroom back there and I'm just expecting it to be terrible And it's like it goes great and you can see expression my face where I'm just you know like so happily surprised Oh, yeah, I have a kind of like you're like looking like kind of like an animal that's already been like hit before and then like slowly Oh, yeah, I was gonna treat me nicely tonight.
Yeah, and I like this crushing experience and it was great And I was like oh my god. This is so this is how it's supposed to be it's awesome And someone told me like hey just so you know that's not how it's always gonna take over So he brought you back down to reality like immediately not immediately We just was like they're really warm and you just got to know that I know and that was great to hear that though Right there's always a real like a realest stand-up comic round It's like they see somebody who's green who goes up. Oh god. Great job.
By the way This isn't how it's always gonna be people fucking hating me like they Just like let me give you some advice like what you got to do this you do this you look so young you got to do this like okay Okay, sure. I'll do everything that you tell me to do without should I do that before trying what I think is good? Yeah, kiss my ass. You know I mean do you remember any of the jokes that you were doing whenever you did that audience warm up?
So some of the same stuff I did when I did the bathroom just was like on something was about like being from Minnesota How it's so cold one of them was definitely a me turn to be like Richard Pryor with the joke was uh It gets so cold Minnesota that everything is just like everything stops moving Mm-hmm. Even the chimney comes out the smoke is out the chimney. He's the air and he goes fuck it and just like freezes It was like my impression of Richard Pryor talking about like I can't remember what it was I've always been really into Richard Pryor like personifying something that was not right human Yeah, I don't even know I could probably find that shape it was something where that was um Yeah, it was a such a cool experience I didn't I can't believe how much better it was than anything else so you're doing improv back in Minnesota for a little bit No, I just a little bit I just took some improv college and stuff what I did like in high school colleges took like some improv classes And it got me like super into it Yeah, I was really into the upper since upright citizens brigade TV show back when it was on comedy central I love that I found out those guys had a theater and they studied with Del Clos and Chicago I was really into all that all the Del Clos stuff the fact that those guys have studied there and the fact like Bill Murray and All those other guys like second city which is still that's also Del Clos based Del Clos has one of my favorite Comedy quotes which is follow the fear. Yeah, that's one of my favorite like as far as like performance goes everything I think of that quote all the time whenever I'm trying to push myself to do some new stuff Totally my bomb or whatever.
I'm like I don't know if this is gonna work And then I like I hear that follow the fear Yeah, just do it. Yeah, everything about him is to see those guys really in a psychedelic and stuff I was always really into I got into taking I think I took a second up mushroom for the first time like I was like 17 16. I was like something where this is incredible. It's like change my world.
Yeah, so Was that when was up when you were like studying with medieval monks? Yeah, I was studying with them a lot. It was really hard This is what we bring me back guys. Yes.
Yes. What is it? Sorry guys. I haven't had time to go to church.
I do enjoy church Yeah, I know you're always gonna shame me because I could never be the same as hundreds of men with the same haircut who eat Really good cheese and drink beer all day. You guys are all drunk. You know that I Quite often is in constantly constant Off your own supply heard about this. Yeah, I didn't know you made your own grain alcohol God freaks Yeah, what about getting computer installed in the rectory Well, you want me to explain it or I could have something else explain to you if you want Could you have someone else explain it?
Yeah, I have a good friend named Dick or Troy. He can probably explain some stuff to you if you want Here Wow, I can't believe we got dick or Troy on the program. Yeah, I managed I told I was gonna be here this time So I he's told him to give him a call in okay. He's on hold right now.
Oh, he's on hold I'm gonna get a man. Yeah, could you get him back on yeah? Hey, Dicker. Are you on the line or not?
Hey, what's up? I'm holding online right here. Hey, man. Do you mind just taking over?
I'm gonna just implement. Oh, I was gonna take a shit real quick I said cool. All right. I'm here.
What's what's going on? What's skippy? You want me to explain how computer works do you I think that's what they're asking? Yeah, well, here's a deal Don't there's nobody in christen don't they can explain how computer works other than a computer itself?
There's nobody knows how that shit works. No one person out there can explain to you how a collective effort works. That's like telling That's like having one horse tell you how horse team works. They don't know you so you're you're claiming right now that Nobody knows how to explain what a computer is.
What about guys like Bill Gates or Steve Jobs? They can tell you the basic definition of what a computer is You can tell you it's a processor that understands how things work But they can't tell you tip to tail top to bottom inside outside around the gym tricks times and ask the question What a computer is because he don't know it's a collective effort Now do you think if somebody maybe who who built a computer explained to you a little bit more what it was like? Do you think that you would then be able to explain what a computer is? Well explaining a computer and telling them about a bunch of monks about it computer is two different things.
Okay, how would you explain it to some monks? Well, I'll tell you right now that the computer is essentially a type of format of God That's a way to access the God mind that you previously is only available in states altered states of meditation and or reverie a lot of the whole spirit You can say it all you want, but I know it don't make no sense if it made sense that it wouldn't make money Well singing as I don't indulge in pornography as I typically Don't have time for said such type of item I don't think I can help you out with that Is that the only reason that you don't that you don't dab on porn is because you don't have the time for it? Well time or inclination kind of one of the same you got the here's how time works Jeremiah Okay, I would love to hear if you you've always got the time what the question is do you make the time? Also, I just like the way that you say my name Jeremiah.
It's very uh Jeremiah. I knew Jeremiah once did you? Yeah, what was your cool guy? It was a cool kid seven years old He was so smart and the interesting thumbs that one day he thought he could out smart freight train guess what what happened?
He didn't outsmart it Dude about six backwards ham Springs and then he hit that snow fields and got turned into dust So Jeremiah was an acrobat he was a young acrobat and biker Phil and I grew up good friend of mine So were you were you also around the age of seven when this happened or did you just happen to be friends with a seven-year-old? I was seven as well grew up together. He's the only friend I had outside my daddy brother now Did whenever you were playing with Jeremiah like in the train yards and stuff like that right? Was your voice as low as it is now?
I didn't speak until I left the forum You didn't speak until you left the farm. I had a mean daddy. I grew up on a charcoal farm in bikersfield really my daddy was mean as he was black I'm not really sure what that means. Well, it's a charcoal farm here.
She's charcoal before I asked okay. Okay. I told those black don't ask Listen bigger. You don't have to call me a dumbass on my show.
I don't think it's a good look for the show I don't have to do anything. I don't want to do so why don't you straighten up and fly right? Okay. Yeah, I'll fly right now if with your permission, I'm gonna take a phone call from your dad right now Go ahead.
You can drive by my number. He's dead. Okay. Let's see if it's actually him or not okay Hey, what's up?
Well, I wish you did actually Nope, don't think you did at all. Oh, you do better jobs your day. Well, no, that's actually literally impossible for the son to brace himself as a father I'll explain. I'll explain what a hand feels like inside your mouth once I pull down a tooth I'll take the asshole asshole hairs out your ass and put them on your butt I'll scrape a skin cell off from inside your throat send it to a lab have a grown to another throat make you eat that throat They got grown all takers all bust your lip I'll bust your lip with a toe I'll come at you with double chop teach you how to spin.
I'll make you dance like a honey bun. I think we lost your dad I don't yeah, he's out here. I gotta get out of here, too. You know what I got.
I gotta take Tom Cruise up the Temecula We're shooting mission impossible nine right now today Good luck with those Peters monks I'd say what you might as well stick to that black bread molasses and get bald a beer That's the computer in itself Alright dick or droid that's cool. Hey, we had a lot going on there in a short amount of time Yeah, dick or called in his dad dad did really did the monks leave or not? This sort of omnipresent a I guess so I thought they were gonna leave but I guess I just can kind of show up whenever they want Yeah, they can just that's what the joy of being a monk. Yeah, this brings us to our next segment pizza party So we just had some sausage and pepperoni pizza delicious Joe's Pizza and West Hollywood.
Hey, I'm Joe Is Joe calling in oh, I think it's a call in here. Yeah, I think Joe's trying to call into the show right now Oh, really? He's trying to call him here. Yeah.
Yeah, I think so. All right. Is this is this um is this Joe? Hey, what's up?
Is this Joe from Joe's Pizza? Wow, your your voice is is really high Joe. Yeah, you know what? I got a cold So kiss my ass Wow, and you're so clear on the podcast.
It's like you patched in you didn't even might be like a Skype thing Yeah, it's a Skype thing. I got good Wi-Fi here to store it. The audio is super crisp I like it though. I like it though.
I like it because I might have to turn the Wi-Fi off real quick hold on a second I'll hold on Oh Yeah Yeah, you didn't even sound like yourself for a moment there Joe. Yeah, okay. Well, it's great to have you on the show Thanks for supplying and sponsoring Jeremiah wonders with amazing pizza I Can't think of anything that sticks together better than glue and glue I think that's a brilliant observation Now Joe, did you have any suggestions for Johnny to try anything on the menu whenever he comes by there? Yeah, I'm right here, man.
What's up? Okay, you don't know where your pizza place is? Johnny trying to to offend Joe Your elders man, this is not cool you kind of interrogate I think he is yeah, I'm fucking 42. Okay.
I'm not 42. Well, there you go. Obviously. He's an elder got it What is that you may have a show says Joe on it Okay, you got it You have to do whatever you want we got it for you.
That's what it actually says on the t-shirt sometimes is whatever you want I just come on down here for the forever. That's whatever the freak you want. Okay, man. I'll come on down I'll have whatever the freak I want.
Yeah, I love my read up. I love the appal I haven't been there now. I've been to I've been in ordinary late pizza was great. Yeah, you ever seen a nice perky set of Naples before Naples yeah Thanks Joe I will all right man.
That was what thanks Joe. Yeah Joe from Joe's pizza I was wondering when he was gonna call him for the first time and that's one of the first times He's called in so that's crazy cool that you know we got Johnny Pemberton and Joe on the same show what fun guy He's really fun. He's really good dude. No, no, this may sound like a silly question, but during pizza party I used to do this thing where we'd eat the pizza on the show people complain about the chewing noise So I ran just talk about pizza.
Do you have a good fun memory attached that like takes you back to childhood? Yeah, I have a great one actually So I used to be like a picky eater not used to be still here. Yeah, you said no mushrooms or onions whenever you text back So and I didn't text this back, but I was like a man after my heart I don't like either those things either. Yeah, I mean I like him, but I don't like me right?
I don't know what I'm saying. So I yeah, I was in Italy with my dad because he had to go there for work and went to this pizza place by the hotel and I ordered a pizza and these guys were like listen to some soccer game. They were going fucking nuts right like oh Like cartoon shit. Yeah, and they ordered this pizza and I ate the whole goddamn cheese pizza It was like really greasy covered olive oil had basil on it was like a plain cheese pizza.
It was so goddamn good But man, it was super thin right but I couldn't stop eating it. I ate the whole pizza my dad was like what's what's going on here? You're eating the whole pizza. I was like dude.
It's just really good. I realized that I'm just not so much I don't have a small appetite I just don't like to eat things I like to eat and I eat the whole fucking pizza dude Dude, oh frickin pizza. Oh frickin thing in Rome baby was in Rome. What in Rome eat the whole pizza man Kevin McAllister style what a great story to yourself.
What a great story that was huh? Man, that was that was fun. One of the most interesting stories I've ever heard a person tell was what I just told right now Wow just breathtaking interesting. Oh man.
Can you come on? I could just do go on tour tell that story. What was the story about? It was about one time you ate a whole piece of jolly when your dad didn't expect you to eat that much wow what a story Oh my god.
Oh my god, please come back to pizza party. You're so interesting. Oh my fucking god You know whole pizza. Holy shit Wow Wow.
I can't believe this. How am I gonna go on my regular life now? I know that you as a person who was smaller than you are now, which is not that big a whole super thin crass pizza I think we have a caller right now. Hello.
Hello? Anything with both of us? Hey Ralph. Story your pizza party story your chair my wonders and I just want to say here in inspiration.
Oh, thank you. How did I inspire you exactly? I never thought that I as a little kid six years old we haven't been able to eat a pizza all by myself and after hearing your story I can do it. That's so cool.
Yeah, you know what? I think it's all about having that good flavor that good taste once you get it in your mouth. It's just like you want to just keep getting that taste. Yeah, I love your taste my mouth.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you get a good taste you just want to keep coming back. You want to get it here. You get to hear.
Get to hear. Get to hear. Get to hear. Get to hear.
Get to hear. I can't see. I'm talking about the corners of my mouth like the deep the deep regions. Yeah, when you're in deep regions and you go in there.
It's just like a wicked it's a wicked hot down hot down hot down down. Yeah. Hot flavors. Yeah, because it's all about the taste buds when you stimulate them.
They're just like, hey, baby. Keep it coming like unload that truck back up the dump truck. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, unload that flavor into my mouth. You know, I got another story about pizza real quick.
Oh, yeah. Okay. I'll say this real quick in college. I went to college in Florida State University.
They got a piece of my school. It's a big party school. Fucking the biggest dude. The biggest dude.
The biggest dude. You have no idea how much we party to Florida State. What I heard was that they don't even put Florida State on the frickin thing anymore because it offsets. It's like putting a gorilla in MMA.
It's not even fair. It's not even you know what I heard that they made an actual ban on glass cups there. You got to have party solo red cups in every household. Glass is not even allowed.
You got to have a house cup. You got a house cup. Come on in, bro. You go straight to the keg.
What is a house cup? Yeah, my God. This is cool. I forget that how much I know about partying in college stuff.
I don't look like it. See like a hips to do. Yeah. You've been through it, man.
I'll tell you what a house cup is. Okay. When you go to a keg or at someone's house familiar, do we have a couple cups that are called house cups that mean that the person lives there or they have privileges there and that they get to jump the keg line because they got the house cup. Wow.
I also got the regular cups house cups like a special color or it's been written on or it's like a thing or it's like Bajoule or something. Some sort of thing. Yeah. You go to a big keg or you got to have a house cup otherwise you're gonna wait in line for that fucking shit beer.
I can't wait for this kind of treatment. Oh, I didn't even know that you were. Oh, he's still on line. You can't wait.
Go to a party school. It's gonna be great. I can tell you all about doing keg stands. Keg stands are a great fun thing to do.
Last one, the keg stand was in the background, UCB and then a heckle jazzle neck. It was really fun. Heck yeah. I like that a lot.
So your floor to state you said you got another pizza story. Yeah, we got a momos pizza. Momos. It's great because like super hip is that you get beer there and all the girls work there.
Were super hot. Even though they probably weren't just hot. They were hot by virtual working there. And I went there.
I created something there that still stands today. Something called flavor zones. What you do, you got your oregano, get your garlic salt, get your parlor michon, get your chili. You've also got that's typically the four.
Those are the four. It's part of the the pyramid of ingredients for toppers for pizzas. So what you do, you got this momos had big slices like fucking huge big old slices. How big we talking about a slice?
It's probably about my freaking face. Yeah, bigger. Really big slices. That was the whole thing.
They were really good. And what you do is you create flavor zone. So you go like garlic salt along the back line. You do parm up and they don't want maybe a cross.
You do a couple. So basically what happens is you do a bunch of lines. You make a pizza grid almost. So like a free style.
We have different lines. If a line of garlic salt line of oregano line of parm on a chili and they have different points of intersection. And every. So you basically.
You're have about you do it right. I think you can have about 16 different slices of pizza because some one bite will be a mixture of the regular pizza with the garlic salt and the oregano and one will be a mixture of the parm and the chili. One might be a mixture of the garlic salt and the parm. One might be a mixture of the oregano and the chili and the garlic salt.
So it's like this thing where every bite is a new zone. Dude, you're blowing my mind right now. So flavor zones, dude. And you guys what?
Wow, you're such you're sorry. You're such an inspiration. Thanks, man. Just go ahead.
You've gone on with your phone on the other line, Ralph. Like you're clear and then you're like. Yeah. Yeah.
It's probably the Wi-fi. It just keeps cutting in and out. You know what I mean? That's could be what it is.
Yeah, definitely. I think that that's I think a lot of people are going to try to do those those. Joe again. Oh, hey, Joe.
What's going on? Oh, no. You wait. Did you call back in?
Did you call back in just to let me know that you have Wi-Fi problems? Okay. I'll have to tell Ralph. I didn't even know that the Joes was near.
Oh my God, I got the phone. Please get off the phone. It's time for I'll call you back later whenever the Wi-Fi clears up. Okay.
Oh, it's getting worse. Wow, that was bad. Man, that was truly terrible. That's pretty rough, man.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Oh, well, this concludes pizza party. I love pizza. Pizza pizza.
It's good. I love pizza. I love pizza. Yes, we do.
Even though it's got cheese in it. You read Jesus pizza before? I don't like it. You've had it.
You've had it, though, huh? Yeah. I had one time this hippie do the guitar camp tried to talk to send to getting Jesus pizza as delivery and it was actually pretty good. Was it?
But that's because he sold it so hard, man. He was like a good salesman. This is a hippie dude. Sometimes, you know, sometimes if you sell it right then.
Yeah. You get you leave it. I do. I just had salad pizza for the first time a couple months ago.
Really good, surprisingly. A lot of lettuce. A lot of like, there's literally like a dressing on top of it on top of the bread. Great block pizza over in Santa Monica.
They have it. Red sauce? No. It's not like.
Yeah. It's like the the vinaigrette or whatever is the dressing for. I give that five out of five. Really good.
Let's get into this next segment. Okay. Fanning out. Fanning out.
I reached out to the Twitter servers and Instagram and ask people if they could ask Johnny Pemberton. Any question? What would it be? Wait, the months.
The months are back. We're back for about something. Wait, wait. Don't leave.
You just wanted to say that you want to say goodbye before you left. We want to say good. Wait, wait, wait. The apocalypse is coming.
I don't think it's coming. Yeah. I said it. Okay.
You've been saying that for a long time. No. That's all we have. Okay.
See you guys later. All right. We'll see the mugs later. They can come back at any moment.
Yeah. But let's get into this first question. This is. Yeah.
At King of something arbitrary on Instagram. That's a cool name. I like it. Who are the best Overwatch players of the comedy realm?
Other than 100% of course. I don't think I'm the best. But I think I'm pretty damn good. God, it's kind of embarrassing that I who the best.
I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. I think it's one of those things where I purposefully keep that separate.
Because it's like a very nice simple form of decompression. Yeah. Do you play that game? No, I don't.
Do you know what it is? No. For me and the listeners, what is the game? Overwatch is a what do you call this?
It's called a what's called duty call. It's an online multiplayer. Yeah. It's not really that.
Okay. What's called duty? It's designed by Blizzard. Blizzard makes the game called World of Warcraft.
So it's very colorful. And it's a wonderful design game. It's like a game where there are people who play it for a living. They play for a living.
If competitive Overwatch teams actually play in Burbank. It's a big deal. It's like an actual big deal. And that's what the game is.
It's just that. But it's instead of called duty where you level up and you get access to more weapons and things with Overwatch, everything is equal. So it's all about your ability to play. It's all different characters.
It's really fun. Okay. Cool. I'll tell my brother to check it out.
He's still game. He'll be done. He's done. You're freaking done.
Freaking done. Uh, Eel J. Brain from Instagram asks, what's in your garden, Johnny? Right now my garden is super overgrown about to cut it down.
I have a bunch of arugula. It's all gone to seed and flower. I have a ton of fava beans. I need a harvest.
I haven't been because I've been sick and lazy. I feel like anytime you say fava beans, you have to go. I know it's fava, I actually call them broad beans because fava beans are such a connotation of signs of the land. I have a bunch of broad beans.
Is that weird that anytime Sony mentions a bean it's instantly referred to from a movie like people instantly think that? It's because it's like garden. Don't say that. favas are fucking, they're beautiful plants.
They really are. They look like little aliens. They're just wonderful. Uh, first thing I'm going to have a grown fava is I got these seeds.
I got these Italian seeds. This is a company called, I can't even recall, but these beautiful package Italian seed company. I grew that. I grew some peas this year.
I grew a bunch of peas. But those are all all ready to be cut down. I've got a lot of dill. And I had Spanish, but Spanish has all gone to seed as well.
This sounds like a pretty reasonably sized garden. It's not that big, but I mean, I've had bigger gardens. I can manage a pretty big garden. When did you start gardening?
It's like a hobby or a passion. I'm about 15 years ago. I'm pretty into it. I like it almost as much as anything else.
I find it to be infinitely fascinating. Wow. I think that seeing a seed come out of the ground is basically, it's one of the things I feel like is linked to the human genome in terms of excitement. Like there's something about seeing something that you've fostered that it's almost, I mean, I don't know it is.
There's something about seeing a seed break the ground that you've planted that is just, it feels, there's nothing that feels that good. It's just this weird combination of excitement and potential and beauty. It's like, if you think about a seed, a seed is such a crazy thing. It's like a little computer, basically.
Now, do you have a desire to have children? I guess so. I mean, we all do. If you say you don't, you're just denying, we all are all programmed into our brains to want kids.
Into the DNA. I guess, you know, I want, I kind of do. Because the way you were talking about the plants kind of, you know, could be, you know, you've seen them grow and evolve. It's true.
Okay. There's something about plants that's different because it's like a little alien. People talk about aliens being one way, but I really honestly got to think that we already had it. We already have aliens in the form of all these different plants and fungus.
There's so many weird plants out there. They're just like, are you kidding me? This is a real thing. Like, they're so infinitely bizarre.
Well, it's not the weird animals that we have, especially the deep, when we start going really deep into the ocean and everything. You start looking at it and you're like, oh, this is, this doesn't even seem like it's of this planet. Yeah, it lives, it has completely different interest than anything you've ever known. Yeah.
Plants are similar to that, too. This is just funny because it's such a vague question, but it might trigger something. At Isaac Newton underscore Levine on Instagram, ask him something about Duncan Trussell. Cool.
Well, that's on you then. Yeah. So I'm going to ask you something about Duncan Trussell. Right.
What is your weirdest story that you have with Duncan? I don't know, man. Or weird experience or a weird memory. I don't know.
I think it's weird. It's probably not that weird advice versus crazy or anything that's like something like abstract that's happened or something that you guys have learned together or gone through together. God, I'm trying to think here. I mean, I don't know, man.
We've been on tour a bunch together. So maybe tell us a little moment of a little vignette of something fun that happened on the road, whenever you guys were on the road together. God, it's so bad that kind of stuff. I can't remember because a lot of stuff doesn't stick out to me because it seems sort of normal or something where I think I shouldn't talk about it.
Or it's, I don't know. All I can think about is when we're leaving Australia, we're super tired from partying the entire day tasting wine and then going to a comedy show and taking speed. And all this is completely normal. It was kind of, you know, you're in New Zealand.
So it's like, of course you're going to go wine tasting. I think it was weird that, I don't know, Duncan and I have been fooling around like we joke about stuff for so long. Like, I've been, I don't know, I guess maybe the weirdest thing is sometimes we'll just talk in character for like an hour. Oh, that's fun.
Like it's just, it's for like a full hour of just pretending to be Uncle Jed and Kimmy. Who plays Uncle Jed? Who plays Kimmy? Those are, well, I just made those up.
Okay. Yeah. Let's not like that. Something like that.
Okay. Well, the speed and wine thing after being in New Zealand. You went to the Hetke Island and had a bunch of wine. It was wonderful.
And then how does speed and wine pair? The, as good as anything that ever has paired before. Really? Let's say speed, I mean, Adderall.
Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
If you, I mean, it's, it's truly a perfect pairing. Okay. Daytime. Daytime, wine tasting with a moderate amount of...
Adderall. Pharmaceutical methamphetamine. Sorry, pharmaceutical and phatamine. Which can be vivance or I don't think vivance works better because it's metabolized.
But you mix those two and it's just, it's a very, like it's like a wild thing. It's just a sustaining joint. Joy. Very good with this.
Oh, cherry wine. A little bit of Adderall. Yes. I think so.
Just a hint. Maybe some, maybe some South Bolivian Adderall mixed with some. Oh, you mean crocreme? Oh, yes.
That's what you call it perhaps. I say no thanks to crocreme. Crocreme. Now, where can I get this crocreme from?
Well, you can call up a guy. Actually, I don't know where you get any crocreme. I don't know anywhere anywhere. Trust me, I have the financial stability.
If you tell me where I can find this crocreme that you so highly speak of. I know somebody. I can get to you whenever you need, honey. Wow.
Again, another person who just patched in the show. I think the connection here is, I think I have a really good Wi-Fi. Yeah, I'm on Wi-Fi all the time. Now, uh...
You want crocreme? I got it for you. Okay. Who the hell are you?
Yeah, who are you? First of all, you have to state your name. You can't just barge in to the half the Wi-Fi. I'll tell you my name.
My name is Tippy Sniphauser. Tippy Sniphauser. Okay, that sounds interesting name. Where are you from?
I live in Mobile, Alabama. Where the water meets the wine. Okay, let me try to get that wine taser back on the phone. Okay.
Question, is it? Yeah, it's Tippy. You gotta come down to Mo'Rileve. Okay?
I got crocreme underneath the house. Come on down to where I live. Now, hook you up. I hook you up, sweetheart.
I'll hook you up. Good. I'll shoot it into your veins with a piece of liquid snapper. Well, here's how it works.
What you do is you take a safety pin. Then you take a little eyedropper and you take yourself a tourniquet. You turn to cut your arm. You poke a little...
I don't think tourniquet is the problem with saying it. I can't continue. If you know what I'm saying, if you understand what I mean, then I guess it's proper. Okay, I guess so.
You turn to cut your arm and you pop a little hole in your vein with the safety pin. Then you suckle up that little eyedropper to the hole and you squeeze in the crocreme. That's how you shoot it in. It's cleaner.
You can throw away all that stuff and you don't have to reuse a needle from some dirty bull-eye. Wow, it looks like crocreme. Thank you so much. Okay, I gotta go.
I gotta go tend to my dogs. Bye! Wow, that was a strange, beyond belief. That was really weird that we even have to be here while they were having that conversation.
No, we didn't. They could have had it on their own time, but sometimes it feels good for you and I to connect friends. Yeah, I like connecting. Yeah.
What else you got in that document? I like answering questions. I don't know what it is about questions. It's fun to answer questions.
It's good. So this is a... This is... at Jeffro.
Oh, Jeffro. I.I. Ask him about the Taco Dixon incident, please. Jesus Christ, I'm playing with Taco Dixon even comes from.
It's probably a riff from an old podcast. Everything that people remind me about is always a riff from an old podcast. And anytime I say something... You're like, that was improv.
I don't know. It's gone. It's like spitting in the ocean. Where's that spit that you put in the ocean?
Well, it's in the ocean somewhere. Somewhere. I know it. I know it.
I know it happened. Well, let's try this one. At... Maybe it's about Taco Rico.
Taco Rico is a different thing, but yeah. Yeah. What's Taco Rico? I don't know.
It's just something else. I tend to say... Something's on the riff. I tend to say the word Taco Rico.