JW Ep 164 - Ryan Sickler

What's up everybody and welcome back to Jeremiah Wonders, one of my favorite guests and one of your favorites is on the show today, Ryan Sickler. If you haven't seen him on Jeremiah Wonders before, go back and check out those episodes and check out me on his podcast, The Honey Do, if you haven't done so yet. Leave a like, leave a comment. Let me know if the NightPants Nation is in here.

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Some exciting stuff going on February 5th through 6th. I'm in Dallas, Texas Headlining Shows at Hyena's Comedy Club and I've got some new shirts up and some sax hats at jeremywattances.com. Go check that out. And thank you to everybody who's been watching, my special on Amazon Prime, getting it five stars rating reviews, all that stuff helps and it's an album that you can listen to on Spotify, Apple Music and Beyond.

I'm very excited to be here with Ryan Sickler today. We had a great time catching up. We always crack each other up and it's always just a good time of good energy with that guy. Please welcome, without further ado, my brother Ryan Sickler to Jeremiah Wonders.

["Cocama Boy"] Is that Brian over there? ["Brying Up"] Is that Ryan or Brian Sickler over there? I'm the Beach Boy that drowned. I'm back.

Going back to life. I got the beat you didn't make it up here what you're doing. How's he doing? He's good.

He's good man. That's good man. That's good. I'm excited that you are live here in a flesh with me.

In the flesh, I'm very excited to be here. Thank you for having me. I quite the episode on non-idue. I'm still getting tons of positive feedback.

I hope it felt good man. That was, you definitely should go see a therapist. But you should definitely go there. Definitely, definitely.

It was very cathartic. It was very real. It's what the show is absolutely all about. You're promos crying, saying that you're watching The Audity with Ryan Sickler are just the best.

It's a good time. It's a good time. Yeah. I don't open up like that very often, so.

Clear. Clear only. So it was one of those things where, because he got a positive response, it did make me feel good. Because I was like, I'm bearing a lot of my soul here.

You really do. I hope people can relate to this. And I told you, I got multiple messages from people that it helped them in a dramatic way. We saved lives.

There's no doubt we saved a few lives. I've had people hit me up and say, because of that, I didn't take my life. And, you know, look, man, I joke and I poke fun. But I hope, I hope like hell someone out there remembers me like that when I'm gone.

It was really nice and sweet and kind. And it's like, all these people that worry about what they drive and what the houses they live in and, you know, status, status, status, and nobody's going to remember your fucking couch when you're gone. Nobody's going to give a fuck that you drove, whatever, when you're gone. Like, sure, I hope somebody remembers me like that.

I hope someone uncontrolled will be breaks down and stops just uncontrollably, heaving on someone's show at some point about me later in luck. Where they actually have to produce that? Hey, it's the first time Ash has ever had to come in and stop the show, give somebody some Kleenex. Oh, well, yeah.

Well, you guys actually saw that there was a compilation that was probably that was kind of down some of the nose blowing. And you were very, you know what? I got a I was going to save this for later. But since we're talking about it, I got this great suggestion from somebody.

Basically, they're wanting us to reenact the honeydew. The scene, but they want us to switch roles. I'm a hundred percent. OK, OK.

You're a certain. All right, so you're Jeremiah in this. We're going to do that right now. We're going to do that right now.

You're Jeremiah in the scene for the people. And if people haven't seen my honeydew episode, you got to go watch it at a great time with Sickler. We got real deep on it. But now we're going to make fun of me a little bit on that based on the suggestion of this listener.

So Ryan's going to play Jeremiah Watkins. I'm going to play Ryan Sickler. And here we go. So I thought something would be really cool to do.

Would be to this is me put my hair on there. Would be for me to bring a journal. I don't know if you know this, but I didn't get laid till I was like 35. So I journaled every night my entire life.

And I have a journal here. And I can just go through a few of the stories here. One of them. Yeah, hold up real quick.

Yeah. Why you got to do my hair right here like that. That's my move. Hold up real quick.

We got to just in case anything happened here on the honeydew y'all. Yeah, we we got to clean up right here. All right. One second.

One second. Yeah, yeah. Keep down. So I brought one of my journals.

It's just one of the journals I have. There's a few stories in here where this one, for example, it says had a great night. Saw my first titty tonight. And it all went to Cantor's after and had a great night.

Saw my first titties. This one here is it's a little different. This is about a friend of mine. I just first moved here.

You know, I'm basically a baby. I'm basically I'm basically I'm a babe in the woods and they took me in. They sort of showed me the ropes and they were just really sweet. And she took her own life.

Do you have a penis or vagina, Jeremiah? What are you? That's it. What's going on over there?

I'm sorry. I've never. Oh my god. Get a hold of these old men.

I'm sorry. I'm embarrassed. I've never. What are you doing with that hair?

I just sit so long. Keep pushing it back. To keep it back. To keep it off.

I'm just going to watch yourself, man. I'm not going to give you a hug or anything like that. I'm just going to watch you. I'm just going to watch your bed.

I'm just going to sit here while I like myself. I'm sorry. I'm embarrassed guys. I'm about to have a child and I've never opened up.

Hold up. Hold up. Why are you bringing the child in? Hold up.

I'm OK. I'm all right now. Thank you for asking. I'm OK.

Thanks for asking. I appreciate you. Hey, hey, hey. Wait a minute.

Hold up. Can you guys push the legs up? I mean, we're about to have some boogin conflicts going on on the honeydew. I got it.

Hey, Jeremiah, keep blowing your nose. All right. Keep blowing that nose. I'm going to go move my car real quick.

I'm sorry. I've never talked to anyone about this in my whole life. That was obvious or not. That nose is taking up a lot of real estate in the clean ex department.

Oh, yeah. You're probably shouldn't wait a minute. I'll tell you to tell a funny story. God, okay.

Let me turn to this one right here. Oh God, yeah. And make sure you all get in your night shorts right now. It's hot outside.

You got to you got to clear that need for speed with nice shorts. Yo. I don't know, you work on a fucking breakdown. I have an emotional breakdown.

It does feel good. It does feel good to cleanse. Dude, you needed it to cleanse. You absolutely needed that.

another reason why I wanted to have you on the bottom. I can't believe I forgot about that. Yeah. Yeah, we had such a good episode.

It was good. It was a great fucking person. Like I don't even feel comfortable making jokes about it. I'll do it for you.

But clearly I left that you left shook. Obviously we've been talking about it still. Some people are like, how deep can I go? Well, if you set yourself into therapy, like Jeremy, I walk.

Here's a reference episode. Look at this. Just watch this right now. That's the link that you said now.

It's like, this is the extremes that you can go. Yeah, you can talk about embarrassing moments or you can do a Jeremiah. Just have a breakdown. Just have a breakdown on the show.

Dude, you got a lot of love on that too. There are so many people out there that suffer with shit like that. Yeah. Let's hope someone remembers me like that.

Please fake it. If I'm gone before you fake it. Even if you're bald by that era of the year. Yeah, I have a bald head just like you doing this.

Jeremiah, you haven't had long hair in years, bro. I just have a rat tail that I've hooked around on the front of my year. But I keep putting it front and back and forth. Have you had any weird dreams lately?

Do you remember your dreams? It's a great question. I do know. I know we all dream.

But what I learned about my nightly marijuana smoking is that it helps me sleep fucking peacefully. There was a time where I quit for a month or so. And the only difference I realized in the smoking of marijuana, I didn't miss it. You know, I didn't crave it.

But every fucking night I had anxiety dreams. Every night. Do you remember any of those anxiety dreams? There were nonsense.

A lot of them were. I even have the I didn't do we talk about this where I read the dream. Was it not your show? I can't remember.

I think it was. I can't remember. I don't know. You do a lot of podcast.

They all get mixed up. They run together. They run together. But it was anxiety shit like you know, I'm panicking because I'm super late to something campfire.

My keys. I pull up to an address and it's you know, 182 and I'm here's 184 and here's 180 where the fuck's 182 just panic panic panic panic. And I don't really I find it if I eat really late at night like back in the day we'd have a midnight show we'd wrap up at one and then I would eat really late and then go to bed. I would have nightmares and I it's my assessment that my food is digesting and whatever's going on is giving me but it's never a good dream.

It's it's always a nightmare. So I've had a few dreams. I had a crazy one about my father right before I had my daughter. Did you start dreaming right before you had your daughter or your child?

Well, my wife's doing April. So are you getting vivid dreams? I'm getting well. I had a weird dream that I'll tell you about a segment I want to hear about your dream to have your dad.

It was really weird. So my dad died when I was 16 and he's been a constant positive force even though he's been and it's been awesome to be able to keep his memory life through the podcast my stand up things like that and right before I got back together with my daughter's mother. I'm having this dream and I'm in a helicopter. I'm in the backseat and it's a military helicopter.

It's like a big black military helicopter. My dad's flying it and he's flying this thing like he's been flying. He's motherfuckers. You know what I mean?

I'm kind of like you know how dreams are like what the hell he learned how to fly helicopters. You know it's not like holy shit my dad's here and he's been dead all his years. It's how the fuck you know to fly helicopter. Right.

That's the main concern and we're flying and all of a sudden he's down and he's paying down and he's passed out. I'm screaming you know dad dad dad dad. I won't wake up and then he pops up and this fucking helicopter pulls up next to us. So this whole door here is open you know what I mean like helicopter style and there's a helicopter and it's like right here flying next to us and it's all foggy and that weird sunny fog in the morning and they're looking at me and they're waving me over and I'm asking him what it is and now he's up but he's not talking and he just points and I'm like I guess I'm supposed to jump on that fucking helicopter and then I do and I start flying this helicopter but I'm fucking banging it off the ground and going through tunnels and yeah you know and then I fucking wake up.

So it's super out of control but it was in control when your dad was flying the helicopter? I look back at it and I think it's the answer to everything and nothing. I think it's a lot of my father at the time saying like look man take a chance you like this person it's not going to work out because it did but you're going to get the greatest thing out of your life out of this thing. It's never going to be a smooth road it's always going to be a rocky road you know you've got all these fucking things going but sooner or later you'll figure out how to fly this just fine and that's what I took away from it.

Okay. But I'm not sure I mean maybe my dad could call in from somewhere. I think we're actually going to call what's crazy about Jeremiah wonders is you never know who's going to call in and sometimes people call from the afterlife on the show and you know what I think we're actually getting a caller right now. Hello?

Is this Mr. Sickler? Yeah. Lefty.

How you doing play? Really? Lefty what was going through your head when that happened? I'm fucking scared to him.

Right. Now Lefty. I need a scour problem. You know you don't have to tell me this Lefty if you don't want but do you have a favorite kid?

Yeah. Your favorite kid is not even your own. I didn't specify. You got me.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean listen Lefty if I, sorry I got to get this hair.

Sorry let me get the battery. Jesus Christ. No. Oh okay.

We'll tell my regards. So if I can't explain to my mom who's still living what a podcast is. Sorry to interrupt you in Jesus' conversation. I don't think I can explain to you what a podcast is.

If I can't explain a podcast to my living mom what that entails. Now did you want to say anything to Ryan or did you want to like because you're actually you're on a podcast right now Lefty. Yeah. So actually there's some people listening.

I was going to say a lot but you know what's a lot to some people is not a lot to other people. Yeah. Maybe let's start with the dream and then maybe some advice after that. Oh wait what?

That's crazy. Oh really? I wonder if I can, if any would be interested in. Oh.

Yeah. Oh. Okay. Oh.

Oh ohner. Oh. Oh ooh. Oh yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh. Ooh. Oh yeah.

Oh. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Ohhhh.

Oh. Oh yeah. Oh. Oh yeah.

Oh. Oh yeah. He's still living. Oh, yeah.

Oh yeah. Listen. Uh, Ryany and Lefty. Yeah.

He was trying to talk but I think he said that that he thought that he wasn't gonna be deaf anymore once he got to heaven But for whatever reason That you could possibly give to Ryan or Jeremiah, you know, sorry this Okay, okay, that was gonna be hard to write that I did that okay? Okay, no, all right. Thank you. Thank you lefty.

I mean my dad just call it Can't believe my dad just called any never calls. It's probably a minute since you guys spoke right since 1989 He died on one number so no more 26. He was actually 16. I was You were 16 Somehow my dad died when he was 16, but had us and then died again at 42 I was like that 16.

He's wondering why the kids aren't up in the other room. We're supposed to be watching TV together We are supposed to be watching TV together, but that's cool. That's cool. That's cool.

That's cool. That's cool. That's chill Thanks Yeah, dude. I had this weird dream last night and I have no idea what it means.

Maybe you'll give me perspective on it where I a family dog back in Kansas, but it was with me out here for whatever reason and The dog gets out of the house and this is set in LA this dream set in LA and I go out to try to catch it and bring it back in but while I'm out shooting start happening around Los Angeles and Sure, this is a dream sounds like fucking what my damn what is that that app citizen? Shot at the boat I know all day long I had to in this dream. How many people have machete's out there? Somebody walking around with a knife on the brain.

You're like what is happening machete over my neighborhood really? Maybe the citizen that dream I don't know but I had to talk my way four different times out of being shot by people they had guns pointed at me and I Did talk my way out of it and then the police and stuff like you hear sirens in the distance and I became friends with it with this group of people who were out like You know threatening people or shooting people and then I look over and Tiffany Haddish is rolling So Tiffany's gang I guess that she was affiliated with We hug and stuff and then I get I start making my way home and I walk this guy home Who was also he escaped from being shot and I drop him off at his hotel and while I'm at I go back to the elevator I just met this deal. All right, you're you're safe. I'm gonna go bro nice meeting you I'm glad you're well I get in the elevator and a guy on the elevator is holding a newspaper and he looks down and he looks up at me He looks down again.

He goes are you Jeremiah? I go yeah, he goes I gotta call I gotta call this in you're missing right now. You're like you were supposed to be home hours ago Like they think you're dead or missing and then they replayed footage of earlier in the night He showed me like on his phone surveillance footage of somewhere that I was at earlier nice my last known place I saw yourself on a thing in the dream that's trippy. Isn't that weird?

I saw myself on a video on a surveillance camera from my buddy Jeffrey balding her another comedian funny guy that I was just saw him. I was with that him at some close right TV out of Marshall's where you got to get rings on By the way, by the way follow up on that my wife is like you really got it at Marshall's wait She also didn't know that she thought I had got it at Coles eventually I Did you really get it? Yeah, yeah, I looked at my journal and that's what I said in the journal So that's that's where it was she goes that's so Kansas of you and that's a nice woman right? She's like to just she's like I didn't even know they had a jewelry section.

I don't think a lot of people did But I'm headed there after this to get a heron bone nice heron bone necklace from a song gonna get an ankle Yeah, I'm gonna start wearing an ankle I do wear an ankle. Hey man get you honey do ankle. It's yeah I'm doing this was partnered up with Pandora for some jewelry on it I mean you gotta you gotta show that bling when those night pants raise in the middle of night When your pants pull up you pull up with that jewelry honey do stop. Yeah, man.

What do I think this dream? That means there's so many layers, but all of it also sounds like chaos confusion anxiety and you're about to have a baby And I would say it's probably rooted in wanting to be a good parent a good Partner a good family in a nice safe place and you definitely ain't living there. I'm playing none of us are living there We're crazy to bring kids up out here. Sure.

This neighborhood's got machetes and fucking you know assaults non-stop It's fires to fire season again right now to and we're all crazy wins crazy wins You know there's all across the city you can't park in certain places because they're keeping it for fire up the next Little days. Yeah, they're getting ready because the winds are so crazy. Yep. They're gonna be blowing up Exactly.

Yep. It's crazy. It's what a what a time to be alive. What a time to bring a child into this world all of it I've been waiting for this moment for all my life With the BC boys Hold up hold up hold up Oh I Think Things like hey He's a terrible teacher, but he's a good dad.

I mean that's just a lot of life lessons But I wish that I would hide in still in music you guys Jeremiah soul So So funny therapy he takes medication. I mean this motherfucker. It's y'all got it all wrong. It's all about just That's what I feel like to sometimes it's better to just be in the prison It's right.

We're about one day at a time great So that's how we're gonna shape on my One day one day one day one day one day one day There's my nice kitchen up one stage one is always good to see you whenever we can't get together How are you souls big dude? You know my big my big stay ready I like that it is right for whatever you know the same it's like the male version of Tiffany Haddish I I can see it my head. I mean yeah, that's cool. We'll all get you on the flip side, right?

Man I'll fortunately there. I mean it's nice that we got to hear a glimpse of what our souls are like with each other You know, I mean yeah, they're pretty in tune. I would say they feel like they're pretty in tune with us. Yeah, yeah It's nice man some action outside right now.

I know we got some ammo says we're doing this for anybody listening I'm building a studio out my garage right now. So I've got the garage door open so we got that that clean air that breeze coming through So if you hear ambient noises just because it's kind of it's somewhat of an outdoor podcast that we're doing Right now trying to stay safe these new standards and stuff that are trying to operate by but I want to do this segment I was very excited that didn't get a do last time because we did it through zoom But this is one of my new favorite segments and it is called wig wig now this thing I got a box of wigs right here in front of me Is that the way I can pick any wig you can pick any wig but I do like this thing this I'm suggesting that one You can look through the other ones if you want and You look cool, man. Hey, it's gonna work on you. I would want to punch you in the fucking face You look like little Dickey Bro, I look so much like little Dickey right now.

It's crazy a little little Dickey Dude, this is wild. I actually do look a lot like little Dickey right now. Put in the beard and everything, bro. Yeah, you do it.

Wow Okay, so I could be maybe be a maybe be a white rapper. You could maybe maybe probably not but probably not There's only one of those cool guys. You know, I mean every other guy looks like you Dickhead say it say it a dick it Alright, I feel like we work together somewhere Okay, I feel like we work together. You got it.

You have a you're definitely the cool guy probably at work Yeah, I mean look at that head of hair on you. You got a good. I got a good is now It's flying the wind is blowing stuff left and right in and out of my garage right now. It's crazy.

That's hilarious. I Think let's see here. I think you look like your name is Emmanuel Emmanuel. Okay.

I think you're named Emmanuel. Okay, and what do you think my name is? Jason Jason All right, all right, Emmanuel and Jason I think that Literally some blowing out all around us up. Okay.

I think Emmanuel and Jason Work together Let's say they they work together at um a sushi place. Okay. All right, and these guys are Basically There are some emissives All right, they're trying to become the main chef even though they're both not Japanese. Okay, okay Okay, so I guess we're setting tables together right now.

Mm-hmm, and we'll see where this goes Hey Manuel Good to see you again Jason Seems as if you're on time to work again today. Yeah, good for you. I'm always on time Jason the bus gets here on a regular skype joint Okay, you've been taking the bus lately take the bus all the time Jason if you knew anything about me You know that I use public transportation I haven't had an automobile or license in at least a decade because I'm legally blind Emmanuel, I don't like the way you say my name Jason. Oh, well, I mean if you You know could see how I was saying it.

It would be with love listen I know what you're just going out of tone really right now legally blind. I mean I can't actually see your mouth moving Okay, what it does mean is I can't make everything out. What is what is legally blind mean that well? I'll tell you for me It means right now that the way of what do we about seven feet apart because of COVID restrictions?

I'll tell you what it means to me what it means to me is you look like just an asshole talking like like like a sphincters moving Mouth at me right now. I can't make out details, but I can see you talking Well, I guess you can see that you're not setting the soy sauce cups down on your tables And keep you from taking the next step up okay. Let me teach you a little bit. Okay.

Yeah, let me laugh for you a manual chopsticks soy cup plate light sodium regular sodium Ponzu that's the table setting okay, make sure the little candles on People want to have a nice night here. Okay, they want to have yellow tail They want to talk to each other and you just want to fuck off back there Jason Why you come late every day Jason your mom gives you a ride. What's your excuse? Well?

I My parents are going through a divorce right now. That's my excuse got any other zingers for me a manual What what's going on why do you want to a divorce right now Jason? Oh? See I don't know if I like to I you say mine.

I'll tell you why it's you. Oh really? Yeah, what it what's so about me That's so annoying. You're 30 years old still living in your mom's basement Yeah, you think what you know you don't take a try some ways between your parents.

They hate you and you're 15 and you're going down Well, I'll tell you what I got learned permitted says different buddy Oh, then how come you're taking public transportation all the time because I don't have anyone that can allow me to drive their vehicle It's 18 and over that's a loser statement to me. Well, it's not all right I'm glad I know that you're legally blind now because that explains you're horrible physique and you're a horrible posture and you're horrible face If you saw yourself in the mirror before you left the house You would realize that you looked worse than the soy sauce mixed with with Swissabi that stains the napkins on the carpet of the floor But what you don't know Jason is that's the secret sauce Hey, that's what the ladies love the soy sauce will sobbing napkin combo. Wait a second I've been asked for it left and right. So I'm moving up because I know the secret you think I can't see I can conda station I can con I know stops on to red.

Okay. You know I'll stop at yield time. You don't have to brag a manual I get it I get it you get it. You're better than me.

I'm waiting. I'm in my 30s. You're 15 You have a bright future ahead of your twice my age and I just I just I don't know I don't know if I you know what I'm gonna take these chopsticks I'm gonna shove them down my throat. I'm gonna swallow them right now I'm gonna you know what you know what when you put them in there put them down and pull them apart once they're in there You piece of shit.

Oh really now you're encouraging me you're encouraging me to take it to the next level Jason It's people like you to throw in and everything for the younger generation like me. I can't I'm Jen You're jinzian I'm just mama you're jinzian you're jinzian I'm Jen. Why am I even here? That's who I am.

That's who I am I'll put you out goddamn it my boss is here And that's what it is I wish every improv scene ended with two dutes in that's what it is. That's what it is Jeremiah wonders is brought to you by caliper CBD caliper is a better way to take CBD. No more gross oils or tinctures you have to put on your tongue Caliper CBD powder is completely tasteless and mixes easily in any food or drink No weird taste no oily residue or mouth you the best part is it all comes precisely measured each packet contains 20 milligrams of CBD Never question how much CBD you're taking again plus caliper is clinically proven to be superior to standard CBD oils It's clinically proven that you absorb 450% more CBD with caliper CBD powder compared to tinctures That's crazy and caliper gives you all the benefits of CBD in just 15 minutes about twice as fast as CBD oil sick Unlike some products out there caliper is completely THC free all the goodness of CBD with no high all natural non-GMO ingredients No fillers added chemicals or artificial flavors I'll give you this so try it today get 20% off your first order when you use promo code Jeremiah at try caliper calm slash Jeremiah You can try caliper CBD risk free for 30 days if you don't love it. They'll give you a full refund That's try caliper calm slash Jeremiah.

Don't forget promo code Jeremiah for 20% off your first order Without further ado, let's get into this episode back with Ryan sickler on Jeremiah wonders I'll get it as a next segment while we got these these wigs popping why not leave them on you know I'm feeling it just feel it. Oh This is this next segment is called fanning out People call in a rather they send in their questions or suggest us to act out some stuff and David Jacks us does your laugh come from your mom or dad side of the family dad side my grandma and dad no doubt I had that laugh my grandmother even worse even worse Like my grandmother is one of those people where it didn't matter She would tell you a story and if she started laughing so hard you'd like tell that again right you know Or a week later tell that story you told zone so just to hear her laugh Once she started laughing you would just be like what the fuck you haven't even told the story she had a laugh where she would go That's all we start and that it would just just that's why for there. That's amazing. Yeah, I love that Yeah, I don't you know it's weird.

I never remember my grandma laughing ever. That's sad Jason. I Mean you know we just have that I mean We have I guess some issues on that side of the family I guess my grandma was my dad's mom was both of them were great But my dad's mom was grandma, you know what I mean and she would come over and like I said my brother and I were twins We had to beds we put them together she would lay in the middle and she would just make up stories And I'm like tell that story about it. I didn't realize she was making a month I thought she knew these those my first I mean I'm talking about six seven years old is my first experience with someone really Improving and storytelling and making these things up, but it was always with comedic shit So now at night and you'll be able to do this soon I live with my daughter Well, I'll have her read a couple books to me But then we lay down and shut the lights off She's like tell me a story and I just make up that's great It's funny stories that we sit there and laugh at then my whole goal was to try to make her laugh the whole way through you know Wow, yeah, I remember I don't remember the context of this But I remember that my grandma was talking kind of crap to my mom I remember when we were over at my grandma's house one night my mom was getting like real upset and trying to control herself and My grandma goes Jeremiah.

Can you go get me a diet coke out of the fridge? I'm like I got you I went I went and I poured the diet coke in a glass and then I was eating a bunch of popcorn I spit popcorn not all purpose I Look I'm a pay grandma back for being me and my mom I fuck you grandma, right and then I watched I gave it to my grandma and she didn't even look All the floaties of the popcorn just going right now. I was like I should drink it. I was like I said you get don't talk crap about my mom Yeah, man, this one comes from I like the suggestion Kukwej on Instagram you and sickle cell B2 bros with thick Baltimore accents discussing why you should be the next bachelor That's what I was that's the accent.

I was just telling me did before but I'll continue that for you. Yeah Yeah, well I can tell you right now and that I offer a lot I bring a lot to the table Okay, what do you bring that a table full-time employed mostly I work for myself? So, you know when I feel like getting out there I can I'm really good working with my hands You know I got three kids. I do talk to two of them, you know, I'm all about family in the end and It's important.

It's so important and I really could see myself checking up with a broad and just you know growing together like that just You know, maybe you cut the grass or help me out a little bit and you know, maybe your family's got money or something like that I could tap into what would you say it's like your ideal place to like take her like on a like on a date Right take her like well cove it now. I probably think it's like real bad take her on a like a picnic down Glen Burnie Or something like you know, you can't really go anywhere to any scrapcakes You know, I mean on a budget, you know, maybe a mutation crab some people in Maryland do like that other people punch into face for it So it's you know, we'll see what kind of lady ever give a girl impression crabs Well impression crab. Yeah, it's a step up from imitation I've never dabbled in impression crabs now. I'm gonna get a little mark your little mark yet get it.

Yeah at the store It's a store. Okay. Yeah, there's a guy. There's a guy named Danny who's me up with it impression grab impression grab check it out I you know, I eat all you know you'll eat anything on legs.

I will yeah, including my new bachelor, right? You know, I know exactly what you're saying. I mean why should you be the next bad? I think I might be the next bachelor just because you know, I've got a beef jerky collection that'll knock your socks off You do have a yeah, you got a hair that won't quit.

I tell you yeah And if I pass that on to a you know, a jeans of a son of mine or something you can get beat up Just like you did. Oh, I grew up a little bit outside of Baltimore. Yeah, I grew up regionally around there. You know, I know You grow up in the county.

Yeah, I know where you're counting. Yeah, I'm more city Baltimore, Cany. Yeah, you're more of a can and I'm more a can and get that time you are you are I'm also I've got a lot of lotions. I think she would like yeah Ladies like like lotions like candles and um, if you ever let a sea salt candle, I mean, I've sniffed some bath salt I'm not gonna lie, but I've never let I think I might get a crab candle for if I she chose me and she gave me a rose You're on the song.

I think that does someone I would give her that's nice. Yeah, also personality one of personality you have no I'm looking for it. Oh, yeah, I need to be like for the party I need you to book all the scheduling. Yeah, just take care of it.

Just tell me where I gotta be and I'll probably be in a I'll show up. I'm a you know what one of my best qualities is that I'm a purse holder. Yeah. Yeah, you know, like shoulders Yeah, I've got these things.

Do you see this? Mm-hmm. Yeah, they stick up a little bit. Yeah, it's my clavicle Oh, I thought that was a car bone injury, but yeah, clavicle is a clavicle there are pronounced what the doctor said pronounce clavicles Pronounce clavicles and they're perfect groove for hanging women's purses over.

Oh, yeah, it's nice. Almost like a hanger Almost like a hanger, but you know, but a bone disorder. Okay. I had a doctor once told me that my divider home a ball bag is pronounced A ball bag is a sure stuff a ball bag is what I call my ex-wife.

Yeah Yeah, I know what I do and that's what it is Terrell let's keep it. I love it. Oh This is a question. I'm actually curious about this too because I was there that day.

Oh, by the way H. Whis Shaq was the person who suggested that we reenact each other's roles on the most reason honey do so shout out to don't I was Doing yeah, that was a good one. Will the crab feast homerun derby video ever be released. I've answered this a bunch I don't know.

I wasn't part of that. I I hired my own little guy to do my own little thing I didn't Jay got it all set with a TC to do a 40 camera shoot I had zero part in that that is between a TC and j-lars inside. All right, it'd be great if they did something with it someday But you don't need to see J. Loo's why you need to see it.

He lost a bet. I was there that day It was a beautiful day was and Brody was there. I know I play catch the body that I know When's that and all the time we've done comedy together how many times you played catch with Brody That was the only time right one time you know, and I'll tell you what like that was It's a memory that I hold on to same forever because his love shown through on the field so much is out there shagging balls Yeah, I asked him to be my pitcher and he was worried he couldn't do good enough because I wanted him to be my pitcher He's right about placement. Yep.

He's like, I he said I don't know if I could throw fast enough or slow enough to fucking do it Ryan I don't know if I was talking to him at the comedy store I stopped him in all I want you to blame me if you lose And I'm like I won't but also if you don't want to please just come and he was immediately he was like I'm there so it was fun it was like a Saturday I went with J. Mo and Rode with him and I was like this is I like as soon as we pulled up I was like, I'm so glad that we came like I'm a mariachi band It was amazing walk up music and my little video. It's only like a 60 second video of a highly real of it But um it starts with Brody throwing the ball. So it's it's nice.

That was nice I don't know the answer is at talk the J and I'm separate and this just came up in my memory feed and this is one of my favorite just moments in comedy That's with you in general is when we got to sing with DMX come on dude It's the bro to bouncing that circle with him while he's doing that it is still it's one of the highlights of my life No doubt the energy was so insane and that was that was the after jam. That was the after jam show Yeah, it's the best that clip still kicks ass and shout out Joe DeRosa who had nothing to do with anything weasels has got them Bro Are you told in here DeRosa bro? Did I tell you when I went to that SNL after party that DeRosa was there? No, yeah, he gets an everything gets into everything dude And he um I remember him earlier in the night at that party.

He was looking he goes Oh, man. Oh Dave Rose over there I really want to talk to him. I was like dude. You got to do it He's like really later in the night You don't talk with Dave role like the rest of the night like hanging out with him and stuff like that just because he was a fan and You know how to approach him and stuff like that Wow, that's great.

Yeah, that's a real thing awesome. Oh, it's amazing moment awesome This one comes from striker 87 when stone to the gills. How many crab cakes can you eat? Man stone to the gills or not like there are certain foods in my life that I could eat till I get sick and they are no doubt pizza Seafood sushi that sort of thing.

How many can I eat crab cakes or Maryland crab cakes? I mean I would eat two and that would just be enough. I wouldn't anymore now. I'll just get sick They're they're fucking they're this big they're killing yeah Two tacos and pizza are my food that I like really go for if I'm like super hungry And I can put down quite a bit of pizza.

I'll get a large piece of my myself. No problem. No problem. Okay.

Look at me I see you play. Yeah, look at these shoulders. These pieces shoulders. You gotta know where I'm in this Where I got these shoulders I didn't know about even working a place.

It's did a mile I'm in the shape of a triangle. Look at these shoulders Slides a piece of baby And you know that wrongy be You know it. Oh, this is a good one from one Andrew rose who you had on the road is great He said ask him his go-to crab recipe everything he makes looks delicious and I want to replicate it Because you post amazing seafood pictures on your instagram Well a lot of some of the stuff I get I order from Jimmy's famous seafood who ships worldwide and they're fucking awesome but My crab cake recipe is actually a modification of the old school fadley's crab cake recipe which won best crab cake and back in the day But instead of using Breadcrumbs which a lot of people do they use bread and they bread it up like you get one out here It's all fucking bread But you use saltines and you put them I put them in a food processor and make them like dust and then use that to sprinkle in so because it's so much Later, and it's just enough consistency to hold the crab cake together because you want I mean ideally you want 100% crab But you know 90 10 a bad, you know, so I you that's that's the secret is Saltines crushed to like a powder. Okay.

All right, and then you use jumbo lump blue crab Don't fuck with anything else and then your mixture That holds the cake together So you take a brownie pan you put a pound of jumbo lump in the brownie pan sort of spread it out evenly sprinkle your saltine dust over it And then you take a mixture of it's like the Jean Warschhire mayo and egg and some hot sauce and you beat that together and that's sort of your your your I don't know. What do you call it base? Yeah, you're Whatever your mix and then you batter yeah and you Form them into crab cakes You don't squeeze too tight you want to be able to have you know Breathes so they can cook evenly and then you either broil them or bake them don't fry them in oil in a frying pan Don't do any of that bullshit. That's you don't want the oil you want to broil them or bake them.

Okay, that's the crab cake recipe All right, I like that panty droppers, bro. I mean I heard that another. Oh, yeah. Are you serious making you to panty?

Oh Making you the panty droppers tonight, bro. Oh what's in there jumbo lump crab Why don't you making me? Baby droppers the pain. I drop the pain drop this little baby drop Oh, you know you know Okay, if you're going down on a girl And I'm hypothetically providing con-lingus.

They're hypothetically providing con-lingus now Let's say it's a Friday, but you get down to her panties and it says Tuesday on huh? What do you do? I mean is it my merch, you know Hold on I'm not selfish I mean these shifty was a go let me handle the process All right last question so this is just a funny comment blue squine says hey Ryan Please tell a story that will make you weep inconsolably. Thanks.

Just because you just doesn't mean I'm not bringing my journal I've got so many more entries by the way. They're coming back. You're coming back Take me out with your head for you on that That's my own. Oh, this is actually an interesting suggestion Ryan is a gay single father and your his adopted son You're adopted too.

I can't have you normally You can't have you normally right is a gay single father and you're his adopted son who is coming out of the closet The twist is Ryan is your father is not happy to hear the news. Okay, so you're gay single father who adopted me And I'm trying to come out of the closet, but you're not having it. Um Diego Is there anything you'd like to talk to me about actually there is um So I have been trying to find the right words To say this you can talk to me about anything Diego, you know since since you blessed my life at four We've had an open book here. So please don't feel ashamed.

Don't feel scared. I want you to know you can come to me with anything No judgment Please I'm your father kind of Okay, dad. Um, well, I've been thinking and I don't know if you Know this about me or if this is just more for me at this point, but I Wanted to tell you that I'm gay Wait, what I'm gay just like you dad First of all, you're not gay like me. What do you mean?

Did you suck nine Cox last night? No, you're not gay like me Okay, I'm a different kind of guy. I'm 12 than you are. Okay, exactly.

Yeah, I was 11 when I was on that guy She when you did nine people I did eight back then I just did nine last night because I'm an adult now I can do whatever the fuck I want, but this is unacceptable. I do not support you being gay there can only be one of us This is not like competition and shit. Oh, really you think that I'm gonna like get some You won't personally have to wear all the sudden I'm an ugly purse It's like that, you know, I have to bring you around like he's gay too. Oh my god Did you turn to gay because you're not my bio people can't turn people gay.

Okay, that's not what they say really Mm-hmm. Did you think you think you got turned gay? I got turned on to gay. I'll tell you that Well, I mean, that's what we share and come and that's what I'm trying to tell you But I'm trying to tell you that your competition now.

I have to I have to look at the hot young kids ass Well, I mean you're illegal, but if you're of age and you know, there's a Know I don't know why your neighbors looking at us out there Now I'll tell you this son keep going let me ask him. Uh-huh. I can't tell if he wants to be talked to her not He does not look happier probably not back here, but how about either? I'm not happy about this setup either listen Diego I didn't adopt you to compete with me.

Okay, then why did you adopt me? Well because I kind of felt sorry for you and nobody wanted you and I thought you know what I can be a great dad to this straight Child I wanted well you adopted me I think because you thought that I was like this almost exotic beast Because I was the only child named Diego from Sweden. Well, I changed your name. Oh, wait, what yeah?

I totally changed your name. Who how many Swedish kids do you know named Diego for? It's my original person my boring sin. That's why I thought it was boring too.

Yes, okay, then we agreed Yes, what are you so mad about I'm mad that you are basically saying who do you keep looking at father your neighbor over there? Yes, he's right there. He's just going through the trash now though. Oh, there was a big raccoon that would see her the other night He looks like a big raccoon.

Oh dad easy. No you eat. Hey, leave some for me. You sick bastard.

Listen to me What I believe that being gay is not a choice of course it isn't okay. I'm reason for you I feel like it is I do you think that I could I think you think I could just get out of this I think you're just saying it and making it up. I don't you think I just want to be like you and you know What do you think I don't think you necessarily want to be like me? But I think that you're just this is a cry for help and attention and I don't think you're really gay.

Oh, so it's not the boy who cried wolf It's the boy who cried dick. Yes, the boy who cried gay. Mm-hmm. Oh, that's my favorite that time story.

There was never a yes That's what he yeah, that's what this is Do you need help is there something you're going through that you need help with because you're not good How are you gonna you're gonna convert me out of this? I'm not gonna try to convert you I'm just telling you you're not gay you go through your little phase or whatever it is don't call what I'm going through I'm like I love this woman here, and I want to be a grandfist. I told you why do you suck all this dick? You think it's a phase I'm going through I think for you.

How do I clear myself from this phase? How do I exercise this gay demon I guess is the living inside me well? We could do a stay up okay, okay? I usually hate you know what I'm gonna be the first to admit that's my least favorite joke it the comedian When people put those together, but it was right in front of me and I just took it and see that's the thing You're talking about things being in front of you And I'm talking about things being behind me.

You're not gay, but I support this phase and Do you feel different not really? Do you feel like you can come talk to me about anything actually no not really because I'm just being honest with you I'm not yelling I'm being honest with you. I'm not yelling, but this is the worst reaction I could have hoped for what were you hoping for Diego embrace and embrace and I'm yeah, I want a leg brace I said embrace okay, okay a hug. I'll maybe a pat on the back.

Maybe I'm proud of you Maybe that was courageous to say that from you my father. Oh, yeah We're not like that. You know that we're not a physical family We're not a you know rah-rah I just sort of do my thing and you do yours and we live together and I make sure that you're provided for that's That's what all I wanted. That's all I wanted.

It sounds like in my opinion. You're not gay Now listen to me. You don't talk to me like that. I'm saying it right here right now.

I'm gonna my dad's not gay Oh, I don't know about your biological dad, but I'm sucking dick at four o'clock today, so You worked till 430 today. Yeah How are you gonna do that while you're in the clock or are you on the clock? I was about to say I'm on the clock and the cock see okay. How can I not be gay?

Well, easy. Have you do you have feelings for the same sex? Yes? Have you been with the same sex not yet?

I'm 12, but I want to okay, well, then you're not gay yet Okay, so I just had to prove you like a good boy scout troop. Yeah, I've become home with different dick You're not gay yet. Okay, you're pre gay. Okay, so when you're pre gay.

Oh, I'm pre gay. Okay curious So so basically if I go get my gay badges out there, then you'll night me gay I'm obviously you're the queen of oh, you know that honey this neighborhood at least so I yeah If that's how you want to make this thing go then great. You have to earn it. You don't get just fucking sit down and be like hey Step down.

I'm gay. Mm-hmm. That's not so I gotta go turn it in your sense. That's right.

It's like I need to go get to work Show me show me I can speak louder than words Show me show me I can speak loud at him show me show me show me that's where there you go you want to be gay around here Then you need to be gay don't say it. I want to be gay then be gay. I support you being gay But I don't want to hear about anymore until you're gay. You're not gay.

This is just how I talk now until you're gay You're not just talk like this. Let's be I know I'm not this thing. I've evolved into another gay Pokemon. I it sounds almost mermaidish so Okay, you're gonna walk into One two three four when you hit a level of dicks that will happen and I will embrace you as my first game orgasm That's gonna be a Call me I will Daddy Diego Is Seeing one on for a minute Let's close out this last segment listener favorite it's called sex talk.

Oh, yeah So Mr. Sickler is gonna share a story of sexual encounter I'm gonna play some sweet sweet sacks along with it and whatever you are ready I will play along it can be as innocent or as graphic as you'd like this is a story about the first time I was supposed to lose my virginity I'm a good friend of mine at the time his cousin went to another high school in Maryland and she'd come out to visit him and she was super cute redhead or strawberry blonde I should say and just super cute and she was into me and Unbeknownst to him she and I sorta back then called each other You know there was no social media there was none of that and we set up this little hangout together That he didn't know about and I'm probably in I lost my virginity when I was 15. I was in 10th grade So it's probably ninth grade She comes over her parents drop off at my place and We're actually she had a friend drop off at my place and we're hanging out all day and She wants to have sex and I just of course I want to have sex My brothers are gone. I've got the house to myself my dad's work and my mom We go to get in my room now for girl is to twin beds.

We're on my twin bed We're makin making out and She asked for something I don't remember what it was and I go to get up and get it I think was something to bathroom and when I come back in it's dark and I hit my fucking nuts on the corner of the bed post Oh, I am done. I am done and it was such a turn off and then she called her parents or her friend and went home That was the end of that romantic story My blue balls. Oh, I mean that's next level blue balls It's because I finally get to that moment and then ruin it have it ruined just completely by a bed post by bed post But I did I was running back in I went to jump on the bed and boom hit it and it was it was good night I mean bro was over yeah, and then another year to finally lose my virginity after that. That's a long time Yeah, yeah, yeah That's got to be the worst feeling to be so close yet so far away.

Oh my god. I'll so close I still think about that from time to nothing got away one to one the vag that got away. It's just like This is like the ghost of Christmas past pussy past the ghost of pussy past What if that came to you like screwed style? It was like the ghost of pussy future the ghost of pussy past I There's only a handful in the past that I would be like man one from the past maybe sound like a ghost of pussy past They would come knocking on your door.

Oh I gotta think about it. That was it Ryan what voice I use for this Maybe Hello play hold on you said it goes to pussy past What's your girl tell me spit it out girl Father didn't you know your vagina? Oh Don't have to talk to me real quick She's saying it right that's pretty exactly what happened out there was a time where this girl wanted to go back door on me And I was like look it's not a good idea Especially today should not do that and she wouldn't take no for an answer and I was like alright But I'm telling you this is not a good idea And she was back there doing her thing and she put a lot of pressure on it and I farted and she would she said And dug in harder and I was like You're like I wasn't sure either, but I did not like it I want to know part of you after that like I wanted you to back your shit and get out And I think I politely suggested that we end this session Try to be it all times you know I'm saying But it was for us Well, I'm glad I could help you out with that then you go ahead and keep looking on super free You got a lot of people These are big cats of characters come out to play on here my You want to hear about it what a lot of sacks playing on You're a lot of sacks on a sack stop. I think I think so those got caught up in the moment She definitely did I think that I was fighting it to hold it in I just couldn't yeah was a bad idea Well, brother, thank you so much for coming on the show.

It's always fun and zany every time you come on Thank you, and please come back bring your journal. I will I've got so many journals. So yeah, I love you man Check out the honey do check out if you haven't yet listen Honey do there's a literal garbage blowing in our direction. I just try to stuff in your thing over there Oh, he's trying to stop that in.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, check out the honey do subscribe to that Ryan sickler calm Ryan sickler All social media. Yeah, I love you bro. I'll always love seeing you.

I hope we get a hang more soon