Well, thanks so much for coming on. Yeah. Oh, of course. Oh, your favorite of mine and the show.
Yeah, it's been fun. Yeah. What are those blue things? Do you do something or work for aesthetics or do they?
They're for the sound to help it not bounce around the sound about so much. So they really do help and stuff kind of. Yeah, they like dampen the sound interesting. Yeah, right.
How long do you think of the pain? Everything here? A long time. Yeah.
A long time days. We'll have a couple of rooms in there. Yeah. Cool.
Yeah. For us, baby. I'm late. Yeah.
Totally insane. If they were injecting us and injecting us, it'd be insane. If you murdered somebody and they pulled up your browser history, what would they see? Well, I have a bunch of tabs up right now.
A bunch of these men have like shell silver, Steve poems. I read those some a decent amount of. You really read shell silver, Steve? I love them.
I was reading it last night. Really? What was the one? Because I have where the sidewalk ends when I was a kid.
Yeah, that's a classic one. Yeah. Little Peggy and McKay's. What are my favorites?
Okay. Me, Stu is pretty good. I'm not a member. No, I wish.
That would be fun if I could. Maybe I should memorize some. Maybe. That could be a fun bit.
That could be a fun bit. If you just break into shell silver, see it on stage. I know. And see if the crowd even knows what you're doing.
I wonder if that would be weird doing. Yeah. Somebody else's stuff up there. Oh, if you comment on that or at all.
I think if you comment on it after the fact. Well, I don't know. Or you could just be like, it's my home. I know.
I wonder how that would go over. It might do well. I don't like it too much more because I'm with Erica, but I watch my porn whenever I do, I get on the incognito. Oh, the private.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That matters at all.
Whether you can still see it on my phone. I mean, I know. I don't think any random person could pull up on your phone, but I think that the government or if they really wanted to take a big like, oh, so this is one of Williams. Right.
What's in jobs? That's what you search. Yeah. Really?
It's the most accurate thing I could be watching. That's what I've always thought is the most accurate thing I could watch. Just because now is it because people are doing it to the people. Sometimes I'm like, like, William, this seems gay.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. You're watching this. I thought that. Do you do it?
Do you type is it? It's not just guys drinking off. Is it? No, no, no, no, because that would be totally gay.
Because that would be undoubtedly gay. Because if you were saying that, if you're like, like, I have this feeling that is gay. You're like, I don't know if that's true or not. It was weird, spidey sense about this stuff.
I was watching these two dudes plow each other and I was like, is this gay? But even with the girls involved, sometimes I'm like, is this gay kind of sometimes black people, sometimes older women. What's now? Is this a constant thought that's going through your head when you're watching?
Sometimes. How come? Why do you think that is? Just because you're seeing you're watching a penis.
Because I'm seeing a penis ejaculate and I'm thinking something about this seems a little gay. A little bit. What are you watching? What are you thinking when you see that?
I don't know. It doesn't really bother me. Sometimes I sit back and think about it after the fact. Do you like it when the guy, when the guy completes?
Yeah. Sometimes I look up compilation videos where it's just a whole bunch of that. Just one after the other. And that makes you feel good.
Yeah. Yeah. I like to compilation videos. No.
When you're watching these, because we both grew up very religious. Right. Yeah. Do you feel guilt when you watch that?
Do you still have that ingrained in you from being a kid? I don't. It's all gone. No.
Yeah. Which probably isn't good. That's probably the devil inside of me. The devil has desensitized me.
It could be. Because at one point, I mean, I'm having premarital sex. That's not good. You know what I mean?
Guilty. I mean, I did that before. I actually, even though I've only had sex with my wife. I still have that.
Yeah. We were having sex before the marriage. Yeah. Out of wedlock, as they say.
Right. Yeah. I know. Well, that's good.
It's probably that it's just her, but it probably doesn't matter. Just having the sex out of wedlock with anybody. You know what they matters? I think you need to ask for forgiveness.
Yeah. And I think God will forgive you. Do you still pray? Almost every night.
Yeah. I pray for you. I pray for people I do comedy with. So that means indirectly I pray for you most nights.
Oh, thank you very much. I pray a lot. The prayer that I say is our loved ones that aren't with us right now. So indirectly.
Is it your whole prayer? No, that's sad prayer. Yeah. Second, that'd be a weird prayer.
I pray for everybody that's not here. Right. You know, how long is your prayer? Um, um, um, um, I will like bless meals, you know, and stuff with my wife.
Like I'll pray for meals. And those are pretty short. Those are like under 30 seconds. Is it a specific prayer?
What did we do? We used to do the God is great. God is good. Let us take it for food.
Bye. You have us now daily bread. I'm in my grandfather trace what God we're interested in. Trace Montgomery.
My dad. Yeah, Trace. I think Tracy is for Tracy. Yeah.
But he used to say God is great. God is good. Let us take him for a foot. That's like a classic.
Yeah. Right. He would always do that. Did he was he a pole my finger kind of guy?
Yeah, he was a jokester type of person. Yeah. Yeah. We used to find playboys in their house and he said his, uh, Dennis son would sell him to him.
His dentist son? Yeah. My dad would just shake his head and say no, he's lying. Uh, I used to have, uh, an uncle who would do the thumb trick thing, you know?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're like your thumbs coming off.
How do you do? I'm like what the? 20 years. Now you're like this, right?
Yeah. How do you do that? Wait. What the.
You doing that. Ow. William's making your thumb off. Try it.
You're not doing it. Oh, but you've gotta do this. Okay. Okay, here it is.
You're right hand you that left hand. You do that. Just kind of that. Oh my God.
Yeah, you're left and you do that. Left hand. Like a native of America. Yeah, okay, and right in you do this one on down.
Some still off. It doesn't look right. Yeah, I don't, this doesn't feel right. No, you do this one up and this one like you're clapping.
Yeah. Yeah, it's close. You gotta do that thumb down a little. No, the other one, the other thumb.
You're kind of club, not with that finger. Hold on. Okay, wait, my close. It's close.
Now you gotta do this one up so you can see part of that one. Yeah. Is this it? No, you gotta do this thumb up a little so you can kind of see it.
No, you gotta do that other one down a little. See? Oh, wait. Yeah.
What? You're doing it. Did I do it? Yeah.
See, I think you need this one up a little though so it looks like that. Like. Yeah. You're doing it.
You're doing it. You're doing it too. You can't show people that it's this thumb. You have to keep it in behind that.
I have to keep it behind what? Behind these. Oh, like this. Yeah, if you go past it.
Yeah, see that's scary looking. Is it? It looks like your thumb's coming up. Yeah.
This is going on for a waste of water. Well, you learned something new. You were got there. It looked pretty.
It looked like. That kind of hurt my thumb. Did it? A little bit.
This is my magic tricks with William. Is that actually Sprite in there? Yeah, it's right. Where are you getting at?
That maybe something else is inside of it? What are you getting at there, my William? William, William, calm down. What else do you think could be in here?
William, I'm just saying it's one o'clock on Friday. It's a nice day outside. Well, I know. I'm just saying.
Anything's possible. Yeah, there's totally some Sprite in here. I'll say that. I'll say that.
There's some Sprite in here. Yeah, because it doesn't look that busy. It looks like Sprite. It looks like Sprite.
It looks like it's busy. Dude, you're shaking it. Look at that. It's that's not Sprite.
They're Sprite in here. I believe that there's Sprite in there. There's Sprite in here. What else is in there, William?
I don't know. My dad's going to watch this. And you said it's one o'clock. What is in the bottle?
Mainly Sprite. A little bit of vodka. We should just do all of this laughing most of the time. I enjoy laughing with you.
That's fun. It's a head rush. Hey, it's really fun because I don't get to do it as much anymore. Why'd you stop laughing?
What do you mean? I just, you know what it was? I didn't realize how much I was laughing before. Does that make sense?
What do you mean? When we were at comedy clubs every night, I had no idea how much we were laughing every night. Just generally speaking, I don't laugh that much on a night to night basis anymore. There's no way.
You know what I mean? Like the way that you riff with Thomas in the back of the halls or in parking lots or something? Yeah. I just, I don't get to that.
You know, my wife and I will make each other laugh, but it's not like we're, when it's just two people, it's rare that you're just like, ah, yeah, you know, just like those. No, I hear you. Yeah. When's that going to happen again?
Where are we going to be able to start laughing with people and get outside somewhere? Oh, that sounds real sad. I think in a couple months, I think in a few months, I hope once there's herd immunity. Yeah.
Yeah. When does herd immunity? I think, well, herd immunity is would finally the large group of people have either, I think, got the vaccine or they've already had it, right? Have you had it?
I tested positive for the antibodies like months ago. So maybe you had it. I might have had it, but you didn't feel bad. No, I think I was asymptomatic if I did have it.
So maybe you were a spreader. I could have been. Yeah, I could have been a super spreader. I don't know.
Damn. Who knows? It was a long time ago though. It was like in June.
But you're going to get the vaccine. Yeah, just because my wife is pregnant and if I can get it before or after the baby's born, it'll just make things easier. Keep the baby safe. Is your wife going to get one or do you not get one when you're pregnant?
I don't want her to get one while she's pregnant just in case. I'm still like, this is still a new vaccine where it's like she's pregnant. I don't want to like other vaccines that have been tested that they do other vaccines with pregnant women, but I'm still like, this is a real new vaccine and they haven't had a time span where they've tested what it does to new moms. So like, I'm like, let's just be safe and we'll wait till after the baby's born.
And then, yeah, that makes sense. I prepared something special for us. I've got multiple surprises. Dude, I'm very excited to see you too.
It's been sad after kill Tony and everything and now I don't see you. I used to see you every Monday. I see you all the time and we've got a rug either on that totally cut a rug all the time. I used to love cutting rocks.
Okay. You are one of the best rug cutters I know. You could say that and you're sweet to say that. I don't normally do my own or but yeah, I do cut.
I cut rugs up. Some people play tug of war. William and I play rugby war. Yeah, we just cut the night away.
I will get my knife out and I will start cutting rugs up. Okay. When I start cutting those fucking things up and I dance on them and when you clench your teeth like that, it comes off as a different kind of. It is a different kind of something.
It is. Does that sound like a pop song? Different kind of something. Anyway, that does sound like a different kind of something.
What about Britney Spears? What about her? Is she getting out of it? I did you see it?
I saw the documentary. What's going on with her? Well, I think a lot's going on with her. You think she's all right?
I don't know, to be honest. It's scary. It's a truly in control of her life and her finances. It's kind of scary.
It seems scary. There's some guy from Louisiana. What if your dad was in control? He is.
I just check in every day with him. That's why I was hesitant to say there's a little black in the splash. Hashtag save William. Y'all need to.
Yeah. Now he's totally in control of my life right now. Can we call him? Yeah.
Do you want to? Yeah. Can I FaceTime him? Yeah, you should.
You want his number? Yeah, text me his number. Yeah, I guess his cell phone number. It's been really cold in Memphis.
That's not a bunch. That's what I heard. He's probably an our parent, my mom and dad's house. Man, I can't still think about shooting bring this up.
But I remember I gave out my parents address when I killed Teddy. Oh my goodness. The people show up to you. It scares me.
I think Redman took it off again. I was almost as if I didn't bring that up because people probably broke back. I don't know what I was thinking. His number is 9-0-1.
I'll bleep this out one second. Oh, right. I won't even. Oh, yeah.
He's had to check. I said that. Oh, God. I was about to say his whole number.
Good thing this wasn't live. Yikes. Okay, just text it to me real quick. That's still funny.
You're about to fall into the same trap. I was. You might not take up, but maybe he will. I'm just like my boss or my dad.
Maybe text him that I'm FaceTiming him. So that way picks up. Let me just call him real quick. He might just not be home.
He might be right. He got his bike or something. It's stationary bike. Hello.
Hello. Did you get that FaceTime? I got something. I'm not going to pick that up.
Pick it up. It was Jeremiah. I'm on his podcast. Pick it up.
Do you know how to answer it? Are you going to call me like back or something? What were you thinking when that number was calling you that it was a prank or something? Yeah.
It was a naked body part or something. A naked body part. Yeah. Well, it wasn't.
I don't pick up numbers. I don't record. I'll call you right back. Okay.
All right. Okay. A naked body part. A naked body part, dude.
I forgot he said naked. You say naked or naked. I say naked. I say naked, too.
Hello. How are you doing, man? I'm doing well. How are you?
I'm with your son right now. Hey, Larry. I haven't seen you in a while. What are you doing?
We're doing a podcast right now. Hello. How are you? I'm doing well.
I'm with your beautiful son right now. We're cutting up a rug right now. Catch it up. Hello.
How are you all doing? We're doing well. We have been snowed under for a week. One week we've been at home because we got so much snow.
Wow. Are you too sick of each other yet? That happened 35 years ago. No.
I'm kidding. How long was William into the marriage? How many years? Let me see.
We got pregnant with him and married a couple years later. It's a joke. I think he was a couple years into it. Is it true?
Y'all hated a place called Loopy's and me, my great-grandmother used to call me Loopy because I was conceived that night after you all had Mexican food. That's true. That's true. When he was conceived.
Do you know the moment he was conceived is right after the Loopy's? Yeah. I think if you look in Memphis history books, you'll find out. Of a civil war statue that's torn down.
It'll have William's story on it. Yeah, exactly. Do you remember what you had for dinner that night at Loopy's, the night that you conceived William? Number 19.
Is that the cheese, ancilata, and taco, and rice and beans? Yeah, exactly. Right. It sounds like a Memphis tradition.
Did you guys go there as a family to Loopy's? Yeah, we did. It's in a rough part of town. We would go in Kansas to a place called Chi Chi Chi's.
And off to an Mexican restaurant. Kind of. It was very Tex-Mex. Yeah.
I didn't realize that a lot of the Mexican food that I had growing up in Kansas was Tex-Mex until I moved to California. Then I was like, oh, this is authentic. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, how are you doing, Jeremiah? I'm good. I'm having a blast catching up with your son. We haven't gotten to see each other in a little bit.
So I'm excited that we get to hang out a little bit. And I got to catch up with you a little bit too. Yeah, I am very excited. You're kind and so have them on your shows.
Oh, he's kind of do them. I always love how William was on the shows. I saw your new Western video. Oh, what do you think?
I thought it was. I mean, I don't know what I'm talking about. It was really well produced. We spent a lot of time and effort to make it look like cinematic.
So yeah, thank you. It was really good. Thank you. Thank you.
I'm trying to put William in one of those sketches too that I've been shooting with that group of guys because we're trying to shoot more like movie looking like sketches and stuff like that. So I got some ideas for William and I that we're going to do. April. That's very soon.
Do you have any advice for me? I need advice from a great dad like yourself. My advice is do your best. Do your best.
And you can't control everything. Roll with the punches and you will be a great father. I am confident of that. Oh, that's very sweet he is.
Thank you. I'm looking forward to it. I have three sons. And so you're too young to know this, but there used to be a show called Ed Sullivan Show.
Sure, and it was a variety showing one act they would have as guy he had plates on sticks and he'd spin them all. And when a plate far away would start wobbling. He'd have to run over there and spin it now one behind him. That's how it is raising threes on.
They're never all spinning. Just right. Ever. I've been spinning pretty right for the past 10 years.
Yeah. wobbled all the fucking time. But that's okay. Well, thank you for that advice.
That's awesome. I will, yeah, I will keep those plates spinning. I'll do my best. Yeah, you will love being a dad.
It's the best thing. You're really gonna be so happy. Yeah, I'm excited. And Williams gonna be an uncle.
I didn't tell you, Bob, I'm gonna be a dad. Okay. I haven't told you yet. Well, good, good.
I'm excited about that. Okay. All right, Larry, it's all Francis. I love her.
And I hope you guys have an awesome rest of the day. I will. Thank you so much for calling. You all take care of yourselves.
All right, bye. Have a look. Well, that sounded like good advice. Yeah.
That's impossible. That's great. Dad advice. Yeah, it's out of good.
Dad advice. Oh, I hate it when people use words together. It's my least favorite thing in comedy when it's like, and this, and this, right? Right.
Right. Yeah, but that was fun. Yeah, sweetie. Papa.
Yeah, I love your parents, dude. They're so sweet. Yeah, sweetie. They just reminds me of home.
Even when I call them, I'm like, oh, I feel like I'm at home. It's great. That's funny. Yeah, they're sweet folks.
Yeah. A nice appearance. Excuse my texting. I may have a little surprise for you.
I've got my favorite podcast or when I have little things planned. I'm excited. I've got a couple of them for you. I've got a really I've got a few surprises.
I'm excited. Yeah. Yeah, I'm pumped. How many pairs of shorts do you have now?
Shit. You got to have a lot now, right? 30. Yeah, you went from having the one.
I still have it around. Oh, you never got rid of those? I never got rid of them. I've never got something comfortable about those.
Aren't there? Do you wear those to bed? No, I don't. I've been sleeping naked recently.
Isn't that fun? But it scares me if there's like a big earthquake or something. I'm in Erica's grandparents' place. Yeah.
Like grandparents' to be something. I don't know. Oh, here's the first surprise. It's my niece.
Hello. I need some joy. I'm telling you. My niece Helena is filmed in front of a live William Montgomery.
Helena, come on. How are you? Hello. How are you?
Hello. How are you? Yeah. Do you want to say this is my niece Helena?
Do you want to say hi to my buddy William? Hi, Helena. How are you? Do you want to talk in that yellow one?
Okay, here. Sit down in that chair. One second. I'm going to get you situated, okay?
Okay. All right. One second. I like your cat ears.
Those are the flip-flip. The headband. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are cool.
It's even soft. Oh my gosh. And this is kazoo. It's a ready mask.
Let's see. Let's see. That's good. Okay.
Yeah. Yeah. Hold on to that. Okay.
Yeah. That's great. You're doing great. Does it feel fun to be on a TV show?
I like you're rubbing your face on it. I know. Don't rub your face. Here.
Hold it like this. Oh, like this? And it's like you're like a pop star. You're like singing into it.
Like this. Okay. Oh, don't pull it apart. Oh, oh, oh.
That's not too twisty. Oh, like this. That's perfect. There it is.
That's perfect. You're doing it. What do you think of? Whoa, what was that?
Wait. Did you give a wink back? Oh. What?
Are you serious? Do you see it on that camera? Look at that. What do you think of my buddy Williams Beard?
Hell no. Whoa. It's weird. Do you love it?
I want to do it backwards. I think that's fun if it's backwards. I think you should face the other way. Yeah, maybe you should face the other way.
So people can see your bow. People want to see your headband. See? People want to see you.
They want to see that. Did you have a good drive? Did you have a good drive down? Are you excited to be visiting Uncle Jeremiah and Aunt Maya this weekend?
Yeah. Yeah. We have some surprise playing later tonight. Cool.
That sounds fun. What's your favorite food, Helena? Spaghetti. Spaghetti.
I love spaghetti. Cool. Do you like meatballs with a spaghetti? Yeah.
Is that what you would ask for for your birthday to spaghetti? Yeah, you got a lot of them. And the weird thing is that you like for a few but a cake. Huh?
Oh, yeah. Hold the mic a little bit farther away. I know it's making it all pull that off. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. What do you want to ask me? Any question? Any question?
What's your favorite thing to do? Yeah. That's a good question. Oh, man.
Wow. What's your favorite thing to do? You stumped William, Helena? He stumped me.
That was a good question. Oh my gosh. You stumped him. I don't know what my favorite thing to do as.
What's that? We got a joke. Oh, can you? I would love for you to tell a joke.
Tell it right into the mic like this. I'll hold it right here. And then hold it a little bit. Hold it down by your channel a bit.