Some of the listeners and viewers of us they know that I do an impression of yours and I was hoping to do a segment where Steve O asked Steve O questions. Okay. You hear that Steve O is on Jeremiah wonders today This is a fun one. It's different.
It's Steve O so you know it's gonna be different than all the other episodes Yeah, I'm gonna share that with you guys very soon I want to share with you guys. What's going on with me? What's going on with my week? Hope you guys had an enjoyable week Hope you guys had some good positive things happen to you and your friends and family and in your life What's going on with you?
This was going on with me? I went home and visited my bro and my family back in Kansas City and I surprised my brother he was actually graduating from college he got his bachelor's degree in business and I got to see him walk and I got to see him and cap and gown and do the whole ceremony And it was really cool. My wife and I flew back to Kansas City and surprised him and surprisingly my whole family did not leak the secret So my brother's pretty genuinely surprised It was a pretty pretty amazing weekend and it was a nice getaway to just you know reconnect touch back home get those roots feel them again But yeah, I had an awesome time with all my families really cool to see all them on the plane. I watched a Justice League Yeah, finally, I know right miss the boat a while ago one thing that I will say a lot of people didn't like that movie I do like the flash character a lot and hoping that he gets his own spinoff movie Maybe that's in the works I don't know, but that's what I got out of that movie also earlier in the week I was with my boy Patti Reagan We are still shooting more bits for the promo video that Rick Hossack is directing and shooting for us And that is gonna be a lot of fun feminist AC might make an appearance in there Maybe some of the emo kids the prisoners.
I don't know. There's some I think that they like Reagan walking through him They dislike them and there's gonna be some testimonials. I'm not really sure what's going on but Rick is putting it together and I think it's gonna be Pretty banging I was at the improv with my buddies Josh out of Myers and Avery Pearson and we were the house band for Steve Burns New hour that he was showcasing and my best wishes and Hopefully good luck vibes go out to Steve Byrne. He was showcasing for some different networks He ran his hour and it's really good.
It's a it's a late night talk show format where he does all three parts He does the opening monologue. He does he does the desk and he does panel So it's a it's pretty cool pretty cool concepts I'm hoping that that works out for him That'd be cool because me every Josh would be able to be able to be the house band for that as well So that could be cool And my buddy Joel Jimenez he and his dad took me and helped me get registration and tags for my car I was you know in the market for looking for a car But I keep going out of town and I can't really afford a new car right now So it kind of worked out where they hooked me up with getting some new tags and Found a place that could do it without me having to stand in line forever the DMV However, I do have to go to the DMV and stand in line to get that California driver's license I've been putting that off for literally over eight years So yeah, I gotta gotta gotta do that. So you boys looking forward to that. That's gonna be some some wild business later this week But yes, Steve oh the one only Steve oh from Jackass is on the show today We'll get to that in a second want to get to the sponsors of the show really quick bad mirror TV Check them out go to at bad mirror TV on Twitter.
What is it Jeremiah? Well bad mirror is a crowd-powered personalized video broadcasting platform connecting local and global communities ready to find your local Awesome, just go to the website check it out that house man a lot or go to their Facebook page Give it a like Bronx born pizza at Bronx born pizza in Bend, Oregon Thomas Shifford what up man people are loving the videos that were putting out for this podcast at Bronx born pizza Is a hundred percent responsible for that? I've got the laptop and the equipment and the camcorder and lights everything to get that video going and now the videos come out every single Wednesday so the podcast drops on Mondays Video drops on YouTube YouTube comm slash Jeremiah Watkins or you can go to Jeremiah Watkins dot TV and check that out there on Wednesdays yeah for those videos and then speed weed my buddy Gino always hooking up the speed weed delivering that I like speed weed speed weed is the weed that you need because it's speed and you need it and you gotta get that Speed weed speed speed yeah, I always talk about Gino. He supports the comedy community.
Good dude Check him out. You've heard him on the Joe Rogan experience Do it up if you into that? Want to get into the kindness challenge people've been digging that people have been writing in a lot of people have been updating me with their Weeks I was joking on my Instagram earlier in the week over the weekend my sister She kept begging me to put my hair in braids. I was like no I don't want to let you do that I'm tender headed I'm just gonna say it I am a wuss whenever it comes to you know putting my hair in like different braids or ponytails whatever freaking hurts your boy Your boy is tender-hearted and even more so tender headed.
I told her that was gonna be my kindness challenge for the week Letting her do that and people are like oh, that's not good enough It's just okay Your boy is trying to do more than just give joy to his sister by letting her braid his golden hair But I let her do it and then I was glad I did it hurt really freaking bad But the amount of laughs and joy that she got out of it and then I started rocking it and feeling I start feeling myself Feeling myself these braids 90s juggle on it up, you know, haha. Yeah, what up But I got an interesting letter from actually a comedian this week I don't know what he he sounds like I don't know what he looks like so I wondered what he would sound like if he actually Read this letter into the show so I'm gonna read that as what I think he might sound like Hey, Jeremiah, I love what you're doing with the podcast and I'm glad it's on video now also congrats on the promotion of Kill Tony Anyway, I want to share a small act of kindness in mind some people may disagree with me But I felt right doing it and relatively new comedian and a relatively small college town last night at no mic There's a new con of performing the second stand-up set ever his first set was three weeks ago And he had a set that went horrible it absolutely bomb And some of his material came off as punching down and some people were offended right after that a female comedian who he had apparently Insulted earlier in the night took the stage and spent her entire five minutes set roasting him became a target of callbacks throughout the rest of the Show and even leading to the night he was lame on Facebook regardless of what his material was that they I didn't feel good about the way Everyone gamed up on I don't want our town to be at place where people are too afraid to try comedy because they don't want to Get attacked by comedians who've been around a bit longer. I also realized it was a second time on stage We can't expect him to not step even slightly louder bounds on trying new material So I reached out to my face I added him as a friend and soon as I did he messaged me defensively saying he didn't want any hate I just told my inner stood he was new comedy game some friendly bias that he seemed to take well He's very appreciative the gesture and I felt better about things going forward It was a small thing But I'm sure it made a difference to him I hope he takes a lesson and learned how to punch up instead of down and be funny and music if so all I've done an act Kindness for the comedy scene as well much love Nate Hope Thanks, Nate Hope for writing the show you follow Nate at Nate Hoke on Twitter or Instagram Yeah, it doesn't matter how big the gesture is it's more of a thought You put in that positivity and kindness out to the atmosphere out to the ether whatever you want to call it out into Your your environment your surroundings and it's gonna come back towards you twice fold, you know I love that. I love little things like that that guy's new to comedy is probably feeling like he was being ganged up on You know like he's being bullied around him might have put a real bad taste on his mouth It's more about reaching out to somebody and being like hey, I see that you're struggling I've been there before I can relate I'm gonna help you out.
That's what's freaking cool about that I like that a lot so Nate good job. Keep up the good work my friend Whoo, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes This this episode of Jeremiah wonders is not your typical episode for sure there was not many Collins With Steve oh he brought his buddy Scott Randolph who's a surprise guest on the show I actually didn't know that he was coming but it was cool that he showed up But that definitely affected the Collins because I have a very specific microphone setup So we can call into the show and stuff like that so it's a little bit different there wasn't a pizza party because Steve was vegan and I called up Joe's and I asked if he could make a vegan pizza and he said he could make a cauliflower A cauliflower crust and a vegan cheese and I was like well, what about like the dough? He's like Jeremiah you change my whole philosophy. No, I don't I don't know I'm not gonna change my dough for you know the customers.
No, I was like okay Okay, didn't want to offend you so we did not do pizza party and we didn't do We didn't get to many questions from the fans there's so many good questions But Steve oh had to run a little bit early only had him for a little bit of time I only got to a few of the questions But what I will say is that we had some great talks about his recently found sobriety's been sober for 10 years now And he's doing a school thing called his bucket list and it's stunts that he's been working on that he's never He's never done that he's always wanted to do and that's what this next big project that he's working on and It's a pretty epic and gross sax talk at the end It might be one of the weirdest sax talks which I think our listeners will enjoy so yeah There's a little bit of audio buzz in some parts of the podcast my apologies. I tried to take it out I don't know if there was a cell phone that was too close to it or something, but yeah But with all that being said like it's not the typical show. It doesn't matter if it's not the typical show, you know That's what I like about the show is not one episode not like any of any episode not to any two episodes are gonna be exactly the same And that's what makes the show for me fun exciting different. I had no idea I was thrown like a little bit of a curveball But it made for a good show and I think it's a little bit more of an interview heavy format show for this particular episode But I think you guys are gonna dig it's freaking stable from Jack as I was such a pleasure and an honor to have him on the show So I think you guys are really going to enjoy it So here is some music that I'm going to play from the band A.E.
T. H I believe pronounced 8th But I'm gonna play one of their songs while I read these tour dates. So here we go Tuesday May 8th stand up on the spot come see that show my baby stand upon spot with Jeremiah Watkins in the belly room That's right Jeff Ross Tom Segura Rory Scoville Theo Vaughn court McCown Debra Di Giovanni and your boy That's a freaking fire lineup that shows almost sold out get your tickets if you've never seen that show live You gotta come see it gotta come see that show it's so much freaking fun comedians doing material They've never done before based on your suggestions, so it's pretty dope Thursday May 10th I'm headlining the wreck room in Huntington Beach. You boys headline I don't get to do that around LA very often so if you live in the area or if you want to drive a little bit I'm making the drive come see that show that's gonna be a freaking dope show I buy Omar Nava fresh off the CBS diversity showcase right for that We'll be featuring for me and my buddy Justin Luxio who you've heard on the building years if you go deep into this Jeremiah Wonders feed Friday May 11th your boy is with the kill Tony grew all of those boys last Vegas Yeah, yeah, we doing a kill Tony show and we're doing a stand up show So come to that Tuesday May 15th ring Watkins is hopefully finishing the album.
It's our last slotted studio time up in Ventura You cannot wait to share that with you guys Got some oh got some great sketches on there that we're finalizing and some songs some songs that you've probably never even heard live Before or some that you have forgotten about you're like, oh, yeah, that's gonna be a little bit. Yeah, let's freakin do this We're aiming to release that in July. We'll see what we can do with that May 17th through 19th I'll be featuring for the Golden Pony Tony Hinchcliffe the San Francisco punchline San Francisco come up for that the Golden Pony the Golden Goose ride Together again, we're also gonna kill Tony that weekend so check that out Those are the dates for the tour from May Thank you guys so much for listening to podcast if you want to sponsor this podcast email me at your boy Jeremiah Watkins at gmail.com Or if you have any interest in sending a letter for the kindness challenge or sending in your bands original music I think you're gonna appreciate this episode without further ado. Please welcome the show Steve Oh on Jeremiah wonders Okay, so we start now we start now, dude.
All right, let's go. Yeah, welcome to Jeremiah wonders. Thanks so much for coming on the show man Yeah, for sure, man. It's a I admire and respect you.
Oh, thanks good. Yeah, I've always enjoyed your presence It's been it's been cool getting to know you through the commie store and your cool Tony and and you've done stand up on the spot My my advice on the show a couple times. Yeah, you're actually one of my my favorite Performers on that show when people ask me like who are your your some of your favorite guys who you've had on and you're always one of the names That I say thank you man. Yeah, you're one of those guys who have never seen the show Comics take suggestions from the audience and yell out words and and Steve is one of those guys who you just have a story or Like you're like what your brain works and takes you kind of from A to C So it's kind of cool to see I appreciate it brother.
Yeah, man And we're also joined by another friend of yours Scott Randolph. Yeah, let's go Randolph international star in his own right. Yeah Oh nice we bring that up just a little bit to your member that's so great like who isn't a mile high club member right except the thing is with Scott he got laid in his seats With someone who he met after getting on the airplane. What that's the fucking most legendary shit ever Can you explain how you're just a G and that just happens basically on camera everything except the actual act Yeah, well I mean I'll sit in the ship was so hot to so hot.
Oh, yeah, I'll never forget it's on camera Like we're walking out and filming myself walk on to this plane We had business class and on British Airways which means that like the aisle seats have the aisle and then the middle section Have seats that are next to each other and with partitions And I didn't want to have a random stranger sitting next to me, you know like I want the aisle seats I'm like I'm my own partition, you know like and Scott sitting in my seat when I walk on the airplane like what are you doing? I see dick like or whatever like so I make him get in the middle section as soon as he sits down the middle section Up strolls like the hottest chick that like smoking hot Then it's weird so and then she just sits down right next to him and Scott's like that gives me this look It's fucking so funny and they're just hitting it off and sure enough man like the lights went out the partitions went up and the within two hours within two hours the actual boning went down dude Plus she was raving about the size was wiener and everything like it's all in camera and you're like go Oh Do most people they join the Malaya club with their girlfriend in the bathroom something that you know I want son to girl on an airplane who I met at the gate, you know, we man was talking to her at the gate and Yeah, that one was a London's Heath Airport was Jason pissed Or do you was he like game recognized game? He certainly wasn't pissed like international travels the best Dude that was a fucking flight from London to Nairobi and it's like you go to Africa and it's like okay It's good time to cool off on the promiscuity, you know, so Like what was the time for him between Pretty mellow and there were a lot of people flying in Nairobi and it was a large airplane So there were like some five seats in the row in the middle section Yeah, you know and and there were empty full empty sections So I'm gonna listen here and so it's just me in this chick with like five seats, you know And we'll put a blanket over ourselves, so we were kind of like fooling around under the blanket It's like I'm just going to the bathroom, you know, and so I went to the bathroom and Went to the bathroom and boned in there I remember to thinking it was weird because I had like rubbers and we put her rubber and boned But she wouldn't give me a Hummer without a rubber which I suppose is probably like, you know, like wise thinking like I gotta have a rubber If you got to get a Hummer from this chick, I know do you I don't get it I remember being like kind of like sad about that, you know, I like I still think about that sometimes You know what the place my heart went very sad still raining outside it might be the gods from that I got away So I'm gonna take you to boner from the takeoff from the take-off to the boning like I'm thinking it was reasonably quick Yeah, I think it's pretty fucked best. Yeah, well, you don't have to use condoms anymore Because you just actually came from getting a vasectomy.
Well, no, I got the vasectomy Like the first week of March. Okay. Oh, this is the test to see if they were correct Yeah, I've had this idea forever and it's it's like a you know an old idea I had to get a vasectomy and do a bunch of dumb stuff and get hit in the nuts and you know like right after the vasectomy like the ultimate nut shot and And fuck I don't have kids, you know, and my girl doesn't want to have kids not even you know we're engaged and So I was like, yeah, right? I did.
Yeah, that was a big weekend for you. I think you film a special you propose your girlfriend. That's right Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, it was epic, but yeah, so I was kind of wondering like with other shots I've taken to the nuts has is there anything like even swimming in there, you know like people think you have kids Yeah, I've always said that I think that a lot of nut shots You know if it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger I never imagined that I would have a lower sperm count because I've been kicked in the balls a lot I think that what what getting kicked in the balls a lot does create a concern for is testicular cancer You can get ball cancer like you're you're more likely to get ball cancer the more you've been hitting the balls I believe that to be true Tom Green told you that and you asked him he was like you can get cancer from getting kicking the balls And he's like yeah So that's the answer so so once I heard that I really tried to like save nut shots for special occasions And Layaway Listen guys, I really want to give this to you right now, but this isn't a special no moment for me to do it Right a hundred percent.
It's like barfing I used to bar for a lot and yeah, I have vocal cords and I have vocal cords and it's more like my esophagus Right, I'm very predisposed for esophageal cancer because acid reflux like I have a condition in my esophagus Called Barrett esophagus, and it's really like full pre-cancer so so barfing is much the same It's got to be like a really special occasion. I actually try not to barf at all. Yeah, well I mean you've done it so much over the years where it's like you're like Yeah, how does diva get so shredded dude, you freaking all these stones man. Yeah, it was hard.
Yeah, just barfing But I forget where we were but yeah, okay, so this is my sperm count I wanted to before I get my fist sector me to go to the fertility clinic and get a sperm count and my theory was correct that I think that the average is somewhere between 20 and 30 million sperm per milliliter of jizz and I clocked in at 51 million and I was happy to know that I was happy to go there and I have them put my sperm under the microscope so that we could see them swimming and We have goodbye, you know, I would say that which is ceremonial. So you had over twice the amount. I think so. Yeah Normal I can man.
Oh, that's freaking dope. Yeah, I did proving another theory of mine. I'm exceptionally talented at pulling out Yeah, I know I know how to time it dog and Just as a sort of a formality not because I'm interested in changing my mind about having kids but so that I could like Maybe come up with a funny Han Solo joke. I did get the for the load frozen for posterity.
Yeah, you know Are you gonna put it like I'm like a shelving you like Like then everything like a shrine. Uh-huh. That would be kind of cool. Maybe just in the little shrine in the freezer.
Yeah, Steve was last load Yeah, they broke it up into three different vials pretty amazing They had enough jizz to put on a microscope slide So do the sperm count out of the microscope and then after that that same load divided up into three different vials To be frozen if I wanted to attempt an artificial assemination Insane. Oh, I don't have a later date. Yeah, they unfreeze it you got it I mean people don't even want to eat seafood if like they're like, you know, Sam in the fillet has been frozen and then thought Why would you want to get a kid like from a fucking frozen and thought load? You know like that's just counterintuitive to me, but uh speaking of size alert's amazing that they could break it up into three different files Because I'm not a large volume kind of guy and I know that because Scott and I went up head to head We had three criteria.
It was a The duration they took to crank out the load in the room. Okay, you guys know I smoked my You took like six minutes there to bust one out with the cameras all outside the door and he's like, okay, go and then he's like Scott hurry up there. Is there a sheet between you guys? So fucking hilarious they it's like a proper medical facility with like a you know, it's a nice one, too You know, like everything's really nice and formal and and uh and then you go into this private room And they've got just a fucking row of fucking porno DVDs because like it's a fertility clink, you know I was checking out the titles today beaver bash That's my favorite one beaver bash.
I think that's when I watch my I actually put on a DVD. It took six minutes. Dude. Oh, I I I forget what the one that got me off was but it was the same one this time as it was last time So I went back today to oh, it's got a lot of volume There's other criteria to it's called a motility which is how much they move around then the shape of the sperm itself I Forget if my shape and my motives and we're opposite of each other.
I'm good motility and bad shape. Maybe or not great shape He's right Yeah So so after you get the sex me then like you're supposed to wait like six weeks because even though they've cut the sperm are made in your balls and and They the vast difference is the tube that delivers from each ball you have to vast difference and delivers the sperm to your wiener Which provides the goo, you know and so they cut the vast difference now after having done that still you're gonna have stragglers That were on the other side of the tube for up to six weeks so they say it's that potent Yeah, you know, man like we didn't go get a fucking dissecting me. It's like accidentally get my chickpere Right, you know, so we went by the books today today was now that's been six weeks And I went there and sure enough fucking bear and wasteland not even a corpse on the battlefield Yeah, dude, it's fucking hump and dump time dude. Yeah Hump and dump You said me on the way over here, so Steve will text me like I'm figuring out like different times stuff when he's gonna get here And then he goes Just got down blowing a load of the fertility clinic after my vasectomy to make sure there's zero sperm in my giz So my girl and I can always hump and dump I'm excited to walk through like go where I'm at building a new a new act, you know And bless your heart to do stuff fucking quick and genius with comedy man Like I really rely on just sheer recklessness and shamelessness, you know, like I love the way your mind works and They've dissected me the vasectomy Olympics is a big bit like my whole new act You know after having just you know tape this new special which you know, you showed me a sneak peek of and it's awesome Man, I'm really excited to see it.
Yeah, I appreciate it Yeah, I really went for it and married my world's where you know, like the stand-up has footage integrated into it So all the stories I'm telling happen on camera That's what I liked about a lot is because I think it'd be like honestly kind of weird if you didn't it's like when somebody doesn't acknowledge Something that like they're very talented at and they're like I'm just gonna do something completely different You marry the two so it's enjoyable for your fans and viewers to watch people who have never seen your stand-up before they're like Oh, he does all these stuff and he's gonna stand up and start doing this awesome Well, thanks, bro And so yeah the name of that special is gnarly because there's so much footage integrated into the stand-up like so much Interstitial footage to illustrate all the stories and jokes I use a fair amount of footage from like Jackass and Wild Boys and comedy central Charlie Sheen Rose and stuff that I'm not the copyright owner of and I funded the whole thing my whole project myself to sell afterwards and You know, I thought I thought I would be approaching Comedy Central and you know paramount and stuff like to get to license You know footage to include the clips But I was told that that they have a like this fair usage law They said don't go and try license everything like first consult with the clearance attorney and have him determine if everything's fair usage And I did and he says it is and so I'm applying because I didn't want to take it to buyers and have them be all excited about This is fun great, and then it turned out. I can't right, you know, it's great But we can use the right so I'm getting the whole thing insured with the clearance attorney the whole thing and that's where I'm at And soon as I'm really close to being ready to start selling it Which is exciting and I'm already into my next act, you know, like I've got like 15 minutes of fire I'm new acting my new act starts. I say just I'm in a fucked up situation I'm Steve Oh from Jackass in my 40s and it can only go one of two ways, you know, either I hang up the jockstrap or You know, maybe hang up the jockstraps not funny because it's I don't know where a jockstraps hang up the mantong Hang out my cheetah thong and call it quits or shit's got to get seriously fucked up I don't know any other way so I find myself digging into I would I call the bucket list, you know, which is a bunch of largely ideas I've had for a long fucking time none of which happened for really good reasons, you know I like to dissect to me Olympics. It was just I wasn't ready to pull the trigger on that and now it's like a Okay, fuck it so I got it and we covered it and it was intense There's that's one of the things on your bucket list.
Yeah, I've always wanted to do this But I'm gonna push this off for a bit sure and say we're skyjacking which was like when everyone When everybody yeah, when everybody anybody Would ask me about like hey, have you been hunting? You want to go skydiving? I'm like no fuck everybody does that. Yeah grandma's do that I said I would say if I'm gonna go skydiving I'm gonna fucking be butt-ass naked for my very first job We've got the tandem instructors drop your back.
Yeah, I'm butt naked I'm gonna be like I'm gonna fuck jack off with them on my back like I'm gonna not gonna not blow a load for like a super long Time like maybe six minutes like Scott Randolph over here Build up a load for days. Oh, yeah So it's like a big that Randolph consistency Yeah, dude and then like jack off in the airplane with a guy on my back and then like Oh damn it's funny It's fucking So then when I've reached the point over turn like the first word I throw the laptop like with the porno on it Just throw it out of the airplane and die after it fucking cranking out this load as I fall through the sky You know and that you got to watch Beaver bashers up there Scott just like sitting in popcorn sky So yeah, so I'm cranking so now like I'm taping that special and and you know for my grand entrance I'm gonna like come through the crowd and dive onto the stage, you know like and I'm back in the back of the theater behind the bar Just ready like it's about to fucking announce me, you know and I'm fucking like and I'm just focusing with this kid spots me He's like yo, it's just you low dude. I'm thinking now dude. I don't fucking deal with this fucking kid right now It's not the time dude and I'm ignoring I'm pretending I don't hear until and then he goes dude Skydiving I'm a skydiving structure and I'm like, okay, this is Everything I go over to tell the kid tell the kid my idea, you know from beginning to end like the whole like you know Well, it's time real quick, and you know, he's got the whole idea, you know like fucking conveyed to him And he looks at me like just his fucking like look on his face I came and tell what the expression is and he goes dude you can totally come all over me So that's my comedy is a shit that actually happened I've done very like light on the like the way you do it, you know, I think that I think that kid is actually calling into the show right now Oh, yeah, hello is this the skydiving instructor?
I know do I've been in total clack I got your number like right away I've been in contact with this kid for sure Once you blow the load if I capture it can I save it for posterity Dude, he fired all you do there's nothing swimming in there man I wonder if there's even DNA Yeah, what's in there? It's just like mucus Kid man I can't wait dude. I'm gonna fire up a hot batch for you that guy sounds super stoked. Yeah, it's so stoked We almost flew into Puerto Rico to try and pull it off there, but we couldn't get a plane No, he's down it can you imagine like a hint?
We try our parents like a mom dad. I finally got my dream job Steve was gonna blow a fat load in the sky. Well, I'm right behind it. Yeah, fuck.
Yeah, dude It's such a dope. Yeah, the bucket list is all pretty serious shit man like there's nothing mellow on there And I'm trying to come up with more because the thing is like I like you saw mine the last special I would tell us tell him stories and jokes with like the footage cut in and a lot of it was like archival And I didn't want it to be all old and down memory lane stuff So I did a bunch of the news It would be like an old bit an old bit an old bit an old bit But this next one is just gonna be straight all new and it's gonna be all new and there's like virtually zero stand up That doesn't pertain specifically to a bit which is a jackass bit, you know So I got like skyjacking fucking shit. It's the fan, you know like the fucking like Sex to me Olympics, you know it goes on and on but but what I didn't so it's it's it's like a con it's like as a comedian I'm gonna walk you through like I'm a fucking solo fucking artist jackass movie. Yeah, I'm like experiences your process with all these different Everything and the like the premise of everything is like it's the bucket list You know I gotta fucking knock it out and shit it because I'm in my 40s and like shit's gotta be just so fucking the bar so high And also there's a component of it that like now that I've kind of grown up and I'm a little bit more like socially conscious Like you know like morally motivated like I want to have a you know Like in fact positive change kind of the deal, you know And so that was why when I went to Puerto Rico the motivation for the trip was to participate in a sterilization clinic where they spayed and neutered A thousand dogs, you know the straight populations just blowing up since they're in control.
Yeah, so I was like okay cool That's time to get to this activity, you know, so I'm down there like I believe in this cause so much I'm getting fixed too, so I tied together So the whole of a segment thing is like this, you know like sort of socially conscious thing or I'm trying to figure out Rather than just like a singular so that's that's like the you know Kind of the the format the matrix like whatever like that's when I'm after and Skyjacking You know that you're on a hot fucking project when the fucking opening bit is skyjacking That's that's where the bars at for me these days so Fuck man, so you also I think while you're in Puerto Rico, you know You're doing a lot of the work with the shelters and you like rescued a dog, right? This was I rescued Wendy in Peru in Peru. Okay, so when did you like have you always had an affinity and a love for animals? Because you know you've gotten more into it recently is really cool like like what you've been doing Sure, I'm not a different animal project so if you want to talk about that like yeah, whatever dude like I'm a Animal guy like I love promoting like fucking veggie diet, you know plant-based like adopts, you know Like spay and neuter don't go to sea world, you know basic shit if it's about animal rights I'm pretty behind it even though I fucking hate vegans like there's a fucking annoying You know like I hate to be an annoying vegan like I'd like to just sort of be like an animal guy, you know But what drives me fucking crazy is uh, I don't know just the fucking annoying vegan thing, but um Vegan I'm in now.
I'm a little bit of a fish kick now, you know I've been on and off of that like uh And you know like whatever I'll let dairy squeeze in I'm not as like and then I'll be like I don't know Milton fucking it's got to be a hundred percent vegan, but whatever dude like I'm just generally like you know compassion motivated and I got four dogs two cats like my house my house is pretty absurd with I've seen some here Instagram posts whenever you have them all like on the bed. Yeah, those are pretty fun pictures Yeah, but whatever man there's a funny thing, you know like it's kind of another bit, but it's like I gotta figure it out Wendy is the dog I found the streets of Peru and she's like a bonafide celebrity on her own right because just to have viral the video of me You know finding her in the streets of Peru and bringing her home to America And since then like I wanted to have her become like a service animal like certified second-bringer around yeah Cuz I thought like she's got the she's used to having the Freedom of Roaming the streets and then all the sudden I'm gonna cooper up in my house like is that fair? You know like and I thought I could compromise to be up bring her home and get her certified as a service animal So that she's got freedom and can run around with me And so I looked into like what does it take to certify a dog that way and there's no fucking such thing Can you believe it there is no there's no such thing as certification for a service dog? This blew my mind there is no fucking regulation.
There's no fucking certificate. There is no fucking test Then how do people say it really? Yeah Pretty much yeah, so so like I and this is fucking funny man Like I like a single brother by the time she was she was fucking like she came from Peru to LA in the cargo underneath the plane And a crate which is rough man. I hate that she had the only way I had that fuck did she walk down to that fucking crate at the airport into a service dog vest She was like that best got to the fucking my house before she did like I picked up there But with this her I just put it on she's straight off the fucking first step in America was into the surface Straight and straight off the fucking streets of Peru and into the service dog vest I went from the airport right picked her up to my fucking dental It's just what what like dental cleaning and I'm like oh sterile environment fucking put on your gloves and your mask and fucking with this surgical fucking dentist equipment and fucking and Wendy just marches right in and just sits down like as my street dog You know I like they can't say shit and like the thing about the service dog vest That's so unbelievable is that it comes with what I call fuck you cards like it says You know like basically like out of our way like you know Candler fucking service dog like federal law states two important components of the law Which is you're not allowed to ask me what my disability is.
It's not your fucking business It's fucking like I'm right to my privacy Yeah, so I just shut the fuck up and get out of my way This is my service dog like I don't even don't even like ask you're not allowed to ask me What's my disability right do I need the dog and that's that's for me and for the dog you're not allowed to Ask for the dog to demonstrate any ability or training at all because fuck you That's not your business did you know and and And and if they say it's a service dog like um then then they just can't say shit They have to just shut the fuck up and out of your way I used to work at Starbucks and back in the day and there would be a lot of people who come in with service animals sure You're not allowed to and I bring and I bring my name on the airplane And this is where it gets kind of heartbreaking is because like here I'm on the airplane I've got around my lap typical dog I just walk on my lap all the time and and I'm sitting in the aisle seat and my girl is like next to me Like we fly a lot so we get like free upgrades and if I get the upgrade ahead of time I'll bring Wendy you know Just more room in first class Please don't get my truck and buy it a ticket you don't have to buy the dog a ticket you don't have to pay anything extra Really nothing here's the other thing about the federal law regarding service dogs is that they view it the federal law views the dog Like like for a person with a disability the I'd like to you know like ostensibly You know like the the theory is that the dog is Actually like has the rights of the person the dog is technically in the eyes of the law and extension of the person The dog and the person become one in the eyes of the law So there's no separate fucking ticket to bring the dog in the plane There's no feet to bring the dog in the plane you bring even bring the dog and fucking coach riding bitch That was our first flight the dog and coach yeah Where people's reactions around you like She's gotten better because here's what happened and I'll see the flight attendant says like taking a move the dog to the window seat I just that I would appreciate it cuz I've been bitten by two service dogs already Like people are just throwing the vest on the dog and the dogs attacking other dogs attacking kids attacking flight attendants You know like there's a lot of that wonder if there's there's dude selling like vessel and Craigslist Nothing special about it Nothing you don't have to do shit. You don't have to do shit. Let's give you a fake registration card Like I forget what I said I went to active dog calm active dog calm and they're just like upload a picture just so that it's on the fucking guard I don't care upload a picture. You know whatever it needs to be so you can apply like all your registration thing It actually tucks into the vest itself so it looks all official There's nothing fucking behind it at all and the thing was that like as I brought her around and I don't got her to fucking all the Restaurants the airplanes comedy clubs right estate on fucking because she goes with me everywhere But but I felt like I felt like like like not good about you know like I'm like a 12 step dude I can't really like do shit that I fucking feel is not morally like solid You know which is like a weird thing to hear Steve I say but it's the way I got to live my life And so I felt like conflicted about it and actually decided on my own initiative to get Wendy with actual service dog trainers and so she's like been in and out of training for months now she's really coming along and Like she like the idea is where to be a service dog instructor This is why it stops being funny, but um, but whatever like so now if you see me with Wendy And her service dog best like at the airport like actually fuck off Yeah, I've done plus plus I know like a hundred percent of the lingo because now I'm in with the service dog training community Like there's a big community, but like the best There's like an underground gang like the top the top dog trainers like in the planet like on the planet are like my bros And uh, so yeah, so we like know like we actually give a fuck about like, you know Being legit, you know, yeah, so try how long you've been over now 10 years like just past 10 years That's awesome.
Yeah, thanks, man. Yeah, dude. I was looking back. Does it feel Does it feel like now that you're in your forties now does it feel like a different lifetime whenever?
Well, yeah, I mean in Scott's got five years. Congrats to yeah. Thank you. That's great.
Here's the thing about it, you know It's not really a question of age even though it is but um Like I'm so fortunate man. I'm so fortunate. I'm so grateful and this might sound weird But that I got the fucking alcoholism and the addiction so bad, you know like like I'll call this my drug addiction It's probably the only disease that like you want to have it fucking the worst You have it like the better off you are like you want it if you're gonna have alcoholism or addiction you want to have it fucking Terribly bad. That's the best case scenario because like There was black and white for me, you know like a key to a point where I just couldn't continue like it just it had to stop Yeah, you know rather than you being functioning and you letting it go if you're if you're if you've got like a you know I would like a touch of the disease.
You know like just a scotch. Yeah, just enough to keep Yeah The ice cream Right if you've got just enough for it to like be a hindrance, you know to like to fucking slow you down to distract you to fuck away Your time to keep you from being motivated then like all the sudden there you go You just got how many people do I know that they don't have it bad enough that they've got to do something about it And so what they're doing is just fucking the years are just falling away from them Just slipped their life is slipping through their fucking fingers man And they're just not getting shit done and they're fucking distracted and they're fucking you know miss blowing opportunities and like fuck that You know I'm so lucky that that I had terribly bad and bad enough that I know that when I'm in this like program of recovery That that's my biggest house in the black That's what comes first like they want to talk about practicing the principles of the 12 steps Like that's the code that I have to live by because like that's like you know my life depends on it And so as a result I've now been like really for 10 years like largely pretty fucking like focused and on point you know I grant it like one addiction like fucking pops up in the wake of another you know like you know with the drugs now call and the next You know it's fucking sex It's fucking for you know I ended up in the fucking sex program too dude like and thank God I did that because had I not gone into this the sex Attic rehab and really dove in like hardcore address the sex you know at like compulsive sexual acting out Like I wouldn't have had a fucking hope of being in a relationship Wouldn't be engaged now, you know that took some serious fucking work I had to take on like the sex behavior in like every bit the vigilance of the approach of the drug's now go off You know so now I've been I've been like gifted with the ability to have a healthy relationship. It's fucking epic, you know And it's like you said now it's fucking food now. It's food dude, right?
I went to my dad on to say that but I checked out the food program for the first time dude, you know now I'm like I won't even speak for Scott I had the fucking doctor before I went to Peru on that one job They get sent me for a physical and the doctor calls up and he's like you know You're what they call skinny fat you don't appear like fat or obese, but like you've got fat all over your organs You've got pre diabetes fucking if you don't fucking exit I'm like I don't have to exercise. Yeah, yeah, even though I'm like whatever, you know like skinny fat fucking you can see it a little bit And he's like yeah, I'm out of control with the fucking sugar This is like you can be a vegan and a fucking slob. Oh, yeah Because you know And when I say I'm like dairy slide like dude like fuck I'm in out of control with food, you know right now I'm like like I'm on like you know I'm either fucking like some kind of anorexic bullshit like spectrum or I'm just fucking slob central and that's the thing dude But but it's oh hold on do I want to answer this it might be my new glasses. Hello I don't know I'm really pretty good about not fucking damn blocking that shit right now Yeah Right, I'll never refinance my home Dude because it's all progress that fuel you because I think that kind of fueled you to start doing stand up a little bit right whenever you I tried stand up before I got sober.
Okay. I like it's like 2006 Skyler Stone asked me to do a stunt at the Comedy Rock show it was the lap actor at that time like 2006 the press machine was starting to rev up for a second jack I was maybe at that time and I was like add my mind on fucking drugs I remember to have like fucking just crates of nitrous oxide whipits and a vodka bottle and I'd fucking like When I wrote my first like set which was like pretty funny shit at the time like all of the I mean whatever there's Potential there, you know like my mind the premise for the act was how to make it in Hollywood and And then I had bullet points three bullet points sex drugs and rock and roll I'm sorry. No sex drugs and I forget or sex one six. I don't know So that was your first that list was sex drugs And I was like I don't always and at the time all of the tablet magazines It was like, you know like various celebrities were like shockingly like you don't see it as much these days But it's like shockingly thin like they're and they're like you know and and that was a deal now was like one of my jokes was Was uh, you know like hey Hollywood so fucking cool, you know like I've been here for a while I'm really grateful like, you know, I think I really know what I like how to make it like for example, you know If you see like you know what's going on with what if you want to be successful in Hollywood We see that you have to eat you get eat like it Like you don't like see it like whatever like and I was like, uh, and like you know like sex isn't that like uh It was pretty fucking dope, but that was my second time trying it and actually I like I wrote a set and like and I went like recently Well for what it was it went recently well, I still have it on camera and uh, you know I had like I had filmed a push on YouTube.
It's okay. That's done You know, I didn't the idea of like honing an accident Did you look at that almost as like another stunt where you're like it was like a checkmark like I've done stand up now Like going into that first time not as much that but um, I was just out of my mind the first time I didn't really prepare anything like I went and how could I prepare didn't know I was gonna do stand up? I was that thought I would do a stunt and I showed up and walked in and I was like dude fucking if I go up there and I'm trying to stand up that's the start. That's the craziest fucking thing to imagine.
Yeah, and so I'm waiting for my turn I was just like, you know, I figured out like a couple jokes I was like did you get a similar fear like going into it? Terrifying, you know, and then by the minute like I was like they'd say sir the entry's on the stage and I was like, hey everybody like I'm dying for a blowjob does anybody want one? You know, like he has like whatever like cheap joke I'm not feeling was that they were like excited. They were excited to see me No, like it was like I was Steve was here like I felt like they're they were excited to see me They were rooting for me.
Everybody wants to have a good time Yeah, like I it wasn't you know like they're on my side how long you do the first time maybe like three minutes I did it was for like three minutes. Yeah, and uh and Jamie the laugh actor guy I remember the first time he was like he's like man You've got something on that stage, you know, you've got something special like it I'm glad you did that and I was like fucking I'm coming back I'm gonna fucking doing you know and I scheduled my return and that was when I sat down with the vodka and wrote the sex drugs and rock and roll set like uh fucking uh I I just want to look at it again, but the thing was then I was like after that to fucking I'll do this again But it didn't occur to me to come back and work on the same act and hone it. Yeah, and then the third time I come back I think I'm just never gonna say the same thing on a comment club stage That's what that's what I start out when I read it stand up like I was like oh I never want to repeat myself And then you find out yeah, you find out later. You're like oh, that's impossible If I have a regret in life that you know like that I didn't just keep working on that one act You know, we could turn into something dope and I would have had a fucking four-year head start, you know But what happened was then the third time I went to the comedy club I was just like oh, you know, it's not so great every time like I've got this, you know the crowd fucking losing I'm good at this yeah, but I went on there with nothing really prepared Just like I thought I'm like what's going on like some steve Irwin had just died and I was trying to be like the wild boy Steve Irwin connection or something.
It was just I died I died and it was traumatic And then I went back a fourth time and I died again and it was fucking traumatic dude It's hard and then I was like it hurt so bad I couldn't go back to it and I was out of control and I ended up getting sober Now did bombing on stage does that hurt sometimes more than a stunt that goes a little bit wrong? Which depends on stuff can go pretty fucking wrong, right? Right so like mentally I'm saying like like is it harder like as an obstacle mentally? Is it easier to be like I can go do that stun again that it might right?
I mean, there's just so much apples and oranges there that it's tough to you know It's tough to answer that but um, but what was one thing for sure is that I was afraid to go back I was afraid to go back to stand up and then when I got sober, you know And like I took that shit serious like and then I lived in sober living like I lived in a halfway house by choice Until I'd been sober for two years and that was like I just committed myself to it and And in sobriety like like you know recreational activities kind of change man. There's no more going to bars There's no more going to nightclubs, you know like so so on your sort of go to like activity list Like I had had no reason to go to a bar at nightclub But I had every reason go to a comedy club Let's see the primary reason to be there is to watch the show So like I would go to comedy clubs like pretty regularly like in early sobriety and the whole time when I was sitting you know Like nearly sober and I'm like fucking watching the show and the whole time looking at the stage thinking fuck I'm a pussy man I fucking should be on that fucking stage dude, and I'm fucking scared and then I ended up just going for it You know I dove in I dove in a hard court, and so now I'm like eight years in that's great Yeah, that's right man now some of the listeners and viewers of this they know that I do an impression of yours Yeah, and I was hoping to do a segment where Steve oh asked Steve oh questions Okay, let's let's say this is the last one and then there's the there's a sax thing the sax thing, okay? Yeah, yeah, go for it. Pretty quick sure Steve was gonna ask yeah I just had about a fucking treadmill for my dogs, and it's been out in the rain Okay Here we go.
Um, this is Steve oh versus Steve oh So you remember that time when we were in the ocean and we like put a hook through our cheek and shark went after us What were we thinking well? I mean the questions which time do you of course right you remember we did it twice? Yeah, the first time was with the the the professional Yeah, and he put it through and there weren't like there wasn't that much shark activity so then the Bummer yeah, so then when the director came to us and he said hey I'm looking at back at the footage and it's like who the fuck is this weird body piercer like nobody really wants to fucking see him And we do well if we got more shark footage like would you be down to do it again? So that we can have just ponnie has put the hook through your face and then get more shark footage And I said fuck man like I'm light on footage dude.
I need this of course And let's do this and that was when ponnie has put it through and I wasn't so sure about when my kids put it through my Archie Because I was like dude. He's not a professional. This is scary dude. No, no he didn't matter dude like he did great Yeah, yeah, he's always asking us do we have a scar from where the hook went through and I'm like not do yeah Not even because it was a solid needle if it was like a holler needle and it took a piece out Maybe yeah, but I was a solid needle and we were blessed with good skin I mean not blessed I see his curves because we don't get scars, you know like we don't have So I'm like a fucking epic wound and then like virtually no fucking scar to show for it First people have called us the Wolverine of stunts.
Yeah, dude. Yeah fuck. Yeah for like a quite appropriately, so Do you remember that one time? By the way every time a story starts with it or not No, like historically like I've never been ever like a traveling through the van or in the van in various countries or whatever like there only a Couple times like a small handful of times were from the back row of the van there's a giggle and then all of a sudden I Never tell you guys about this one time.
I would tell you guys about this one time and that is that's like Scott saying and starting a story with That's what I was in high school like a because the thing is that I'm always in such a no We've always been such an open book. So totally so recklessly honest and shamelessly candid almost to a fault Yeah, like that that there's nothing that there's no filter There's nothing that goes on said and then so for something to be held back and then later be did I ever tell you about this one time? You know like that you notice so fucking shockingly fucking juicy and uh, yeah So every November that was like the one time when I was like giggled instead I would tell you about this one time and that was the story about how I got my dick sucked by dude It was a dude it was like transvesta right right? Definitely doesn't count because it was uh that I was told it was a post-op Oh, yeah, yeah, which made us feel and I was told it was a hermaphrodite after the operation.
Yeah, I was like is that a Greek? What is that? Right like they took away like the male parts leaving nothing but shit right then I told dr. Drew and he was like no there's no such thing as a hermaphrodite and then what happened was a dude Suck your dick pretty much and let you say I just got ran off-sized load that day Here's a couple questions from some fans that wrote in um How do you like your jail time following the SeaWorld protest?
Well, I was like fucking Me in the fucking fertility clinic booth. It was quick You know like uh yeah, they really did want me in there at judge fudge 1989 as if you could replace any musician and any band and instantly be granted as scales what band would you play in? Wow uh past your presence any oh any um I mean fuck dude like two things kind of mind is uh just Motley Crue in the 80s, but then like I Don't know. Yeah, I brought him a Motley Crue in the 80s.
Okay at Java man 217 what was the best day you had on set with the guys hashtag Jackass crew? I don't know There's not like one thing really I mean there's pretty epic shit. Yeah Will there ever be another Jackass movie or maybe with the cast all back together? Yeah, my new company specialized the whole cast all back together That's called gnarly.
We did a great job on that. Yeah, dude, and then let's see here What would you say to anyone who wants to follow their authentic path even if it's not a traditional path? What are the golden moments in your life that you realize that you are Steve? Oh, I don't know like I always say it doesn't What you want to do it just matters how bad you want to do it?
Okay, the final question of all the things you put in your mouth What tastes of the worst what felt the worst and what hurt the most? Oh, I don't know all right a different question You hold citizenship in three countries if you were to get citizenship in a fourth country Where would it be and why also? Can you sing any anthem of any of the three countries? What's your citizens?
Yeah, I can handle the Canadian anthem American anthem They're not the British anthem even what it is if I was gonna do a fourth one and I'm pretty sure I go New Zealand Okay, New Zealand or and if I couldn't get New Zealand, Australia would work but New Zealand wouldn't is the ticket. Nice. Yeah Well, this brings to our final segment sex talk. Yeah, dude So Steve is going to share a story of a sexual encounter and I am going to play some sweet sweet saxophone underneath to Sax it up.
You have one that comes of mine that yeah, like For sure, I mean today I have a sexual encounter, but um the um As we were standing in the fertility clinic and waiting for the reveal of my load under the microscope to determine if there was any sperm in there I admitted to something It's not just a story of one sexual encounter. It's a characterization of the overwhelming majority of The sexual encounters that I've had with my fiance and this dates back, you know as far as we've been together like I said we have four dogs and I started out with two she started out with one and then we got Wendy from Peru Only only my girl's dog olive is really crazy about calm And it was just kind of weird because like I would you know before my vasectomy of course, you know I like I dumped the load on my girl like on her back You know our butt like on my tummy like wherever it might land I would have just taken off my boxer shorts and so I grab the boxer shorts and I wipe up the load I scoop it up, you know Totally Unintentionally like from my throat on the floor. We noticed my girlfriend's dog like going straight to it and just gobbling the column Gobbling it And I was like man ah I was like man like I think like morally like it's not necessarily right to be feeding my girls dog My come you know so I was like So I'm trying to bury the boxers like in in my laundry bag like underneath other than but this dog's fucking determined man Like there's no that dogs are gonna fucking tear up the floorboard To get to this fucking calm, you know and so I just stopped trying I stopped trying to keep the fucking come away from the dog and And I would like just here you go So my girl and I we both wrapped our head around it, you know, we routinely feed come to talk And the thing was that the dogs are the more we feed it come the more one time it's like a fucking So we start even fucking with a little bit of foreplay and the dog is just automatically on the bed You know, it's like a little fucking wiener dog poodle, you know like It's got some stumpy ass legs and there's no keeping it off the fucking bed, you know, you know, it's on a mission So we can't even fuck without the dog like, you know, like being up there sticking its nose up my ass, you know, like, you know, like wait and waiting for this fucking come and And so like we started locking the dog out of the bedroom. That's like before we have sex the dog is locked out of the room, but then Right and then after we have sex then like I Open up the door.
I let the dog in and now I start making the dog do drinks Because that dog will do fucking anything when I'm holding that fucking that fucking that load in the box It's that dog will fucking dance around like a fucking ballerina That's what I make it do, you know And today's a fucking terribly sad day because Because today marks the time when it is no more fucking jizz for sweet little olive I'm never letting the dog lick me again. The thing comes over like licking my hand dude That's hilarious dude. Oh my goodness So wow man, thank you so much for coming on the show. Do you want to plug any final things?
No, I just want you to To break off the the sax part and and like text it to me as a file or something I can't say I can work on that and make it a funny bit cool. Not a problem Scott Yeah, thanks so much for coming to you. Want to plug anything buddy? I'm point lifestyle calm point lifestyle calm where you can follow me on Instagram at Scott Randolph 83 awesome guys Well, thank you so much for coming on the show.
Yeah, let's do it