JW Ep 191 - David So

My sister shut down my eyes are bleeding from the mask, but that was very fine This is the most stressful jing again. I'd ever play it Steve. All right, keep going man. Time to virtue I literally I did I hit a turnaround jumper in this dude's face for the win and I am usually not a bad sport, but I go I went back into my car.

I See all the way back and I went fuck it You're hard of yourself sometimes Like this mustache I fucking like it's fresh Yeah, man, but it's for 30 years. It looks good. It looks real good. I'm real strong.

Thank you Yeah, she's my pubes is nothing there. Have you ever been able to grow beard or anything? Never in my fucking life. I actually still have the first shaving cream can that my mom gave me in college and you're like Can't even grow Yeah, my sister had she had that shaving can Barbie and I thought it was so cool I was like man, this guy's awesome.

I shoot shave him. Can you grow a full beard? I can yeah fuck I haven't been able to grow any fucking facial hair at all like I get I literally have I think 17 hairs that come out here And then eight on each side here. That's it and I actually try growing it out to see and it's just what it is you get Like back hair or nipple hair anything.

Oh Asian people always have nipple hair Yeah, the most fucking long ones the most disgusting thing ever do it looks like both nipples look like two catfishes Just right here. They just grow up these whiskers Asian people always have nipple hair I always say that mine look like spiders because when I get in the pool like it looks like legs spreading out Do you like back hair? I don't know I'm on my back and then it for whatever reason I have the the happy trail area and then I have nips and then a little tiny bit on the Jets is your happy trail area a singular line or does it just grow everywhere? It's mainly singular and then it fans out a little bit like on on the belly part You know what I thought I used to be like 280 pounds and I thought I had a really hairy belly I was just so fat that it just spread my happy trail out when I lost the weight it concentrated back into the middle You're like I've got the sexy strip this whole time.

Yeah, I was so fat that the circumference spread Every dude that's insane. I was a big boy man 280 pounds solid. Yeah, that is that's a big person Yeah, I had no fucking idea back problems or hit problems when you're a big back problems hit I had heartburn every fucking night I thought that's just was life. You're like yeah, that's just how you do I mean I thought for whatever reason that getting diarrhea every week was normal.

I thought every day was normal I had diarrhea every day I had diarrhea every day and I thought this is life as well. Yeah, it's just one conversation with a friend like bro You shouldn't have diarrhea every day. I'm like what do you mean the Frank Sinatra song that's like I was pretty fucked up. Yeah, yeah, I don't know.

I think part of it was my comic diet I was just eating stuff like late at night every single night So it was just you know It was bound to happen if you're not eating fruit and other stuff don't break that stuff up. How are you so skinny? How am I? Lucky metabolism because I definitely have like on my mom's side we have like an obesity problem Well, I had like my nana and big pop were so big that they had to sleep in lazy boy recliners Like they couldn't sleep on beds because they're so big.

Holy shit. Yeah. Where you from Kansas. Okay, that makes sense Piece together.

Yeah, that doesn't sound like a California thing. No, no, no, no, they were they lived in Iowa So you know what's interesting like my buddies girlfriend is from the UK And I keep thinking that California's portions are smaller right because when you travel around you do comedy You go to South you go everywhere of course, but she looks at California portions You guys are all fucking fat fucks like why do you eat so much like our portions are extremely large really? Yeah, cuz I she she told me the story today where she ordered like a drink and it was a small And they'll do you like a bigger size she goes this isn't the large and that's what we think when we go to Texas Oh, of course, so when we go to Texas Yeah, like a when you get like a Texas sweet tea. It's all sugar.

Oh, yeah Well when you go to the like the my family members in the Midwest they had those those gas station like cooler mugs You know what I'm talking about? They're like you can fill I think they're like 64 some of them are like even like 82 ounces or some weird Number and it is seriously like you a normal person that would last a day or two like because it's so much liquid But they would bang those out like just putting like diet cokes and diet pepsi's in those things You know what how I figured it like how fat people are on the other side of the country like in the middle states I got I booked the show and I was gonna stand up and then I used to be really big or what I thought was big And I did like a self-deprecating fat joke and nobody got it because I was like the thinnest one in the world You're the skinny guy like what the fuck is this skinny fuck talking about like you fat masters? Like this is different a different world. Oh, yeah when the audience is like I don't get it.

You're like oh We have a different yeah reference point for what fat yeah Well cuz like especially because like Korean parents they're very particular and letting you know how fucking fat you are sure every fucking day Like they would just slide it in real quick. My dad would call me fat any chance that he had so you just awake up a fat Just woke up bro, were you like as far like even in your extended family were you the heaviest and even in your family? Everybody was skinny except for me like I was always the biggest one that's hard yep Because my comparison I mean you're literally like the black sheep the family that point like visually Yeah, even like like emotionally or like oh he's got you know some issues like he's working on stuff It's like you see it like everybody went to graduate from college. I didn't graduate from college Okay, so I was definitely the outsider sure because they were all college educated They didn't really get in trouble a lot like I got I got I had a switch like elementary schools Because I got too many fights when I was a kid because I was so problematic and so when I was in you have a lot of people Calling you fat as a kid.

Oh for sure. I mean come on these kids. They absolutely have to call me fat They're fucking losers of course you got to prove yourself exactly if you don't call somebody fat you might be fat Yeah, but I was a big kid in elementary school and then you know that leads to like a lot of bullying or whatever Of course all the fucking time. I think that's just a part of life Everybody gets fucking bullied, but I mean that's how I mean a lot of us You know build up our funny is is we're faced with something.

That's like we're like how do I deal with this? I deal with this. Oh, I can extinguish this immediately with humor like that That's for me like when I like start going to I went to like a private school growing up And then when I went to a public school that's the first time I found out I had a big nose was in public school That's not let you know because I like before that like in private school like people were too respectful and like they're trying to be Christian and stuff like that So they're like oh, you know, that's just you know, that's just a physical Like a mate may buddies with a black kid and he's like you got a big house I'm like, what I grew up in I grew up in a predominantly black and Asian area so like roasting people was the shit That's how we connected yes, that's part of culture like if you don't get made fun of they don't really fucking like you Dude, that's what I found out with the New York comedy scene when I started going out there years ago I thought they hated me and then somebody finally pulling side like Jeremiah if they're roasting you you're in dude like Roll with it. I'm like, yeah, I thought they like couldn't stand me.

Yeah, cuz it's in LA It's different like we don't like quite go at each other like that like outside of clubs and stuff like that Yeah, so I actually didn't know that because because I grew up in Sacramento, California is a you know Kind of grew up in a small area You just do small town people shit Yeah, and then when I came out to this city I didn't know that a lot of people couldn't they would dish it but they couldn't take it as well So I don't have that boundary between like oh, this is a friendly talk and this is destroyed this person There's like a middle area that you have to learn how to play and I never grew up with that everybody would go in on So I'm like if your mom died yesterday, they're like probably your fault You just gotta have to deal with that shit, right? So this is what I grew up with and then when I came out here I remember this specific person She was a friend of mine still she's a friend now But she made a fat joke at me and this was at a group party and I don't know any of these people So I was like oh she wants she wants a rose She wants on let's fucking go Yeah, and so I made fun of her nose the whole fucking party and so I kept calling her Owen Wilson and then I just kept going in on I made fun of her flat chest or no ass whatever and I thought we were having a good time But she was just sitting there just kind of laughing uncomfortably, which I didn't know was uncomfortably I thought she found funny right lon behold She didn't talk to me for like six months and then I talked to her now husband and I'm like hey Does she have something like what did I do he goes? Well remember that party you fucking went in on her. I was like bro She made fat jokes at me.

What was I supposed to do? Can't just walk away calling me fucking like a whale I think that like in that time of her lives definitely girls are in that self-conscious area where they want to dish it But they do not want to take it. You know, I mean they don't want to hear any of that stuff She's got a nose job. So is she really yeah, I might have contributed to it just a little you might have you Are the guy she actually killed herself No, no, no, no, she's fine.

She's like we're still friends But I didn't know that she was offended now Do you think that she has truly gotten past that with your friendship now or is there still like a hint of that like you know How you can after you squash beef with certain people and certain friends in your life? They're still even like I am really good about making things not awkward after I squash beef with friends But sometimes I'll find out that they're still holding on to it like later on is it the same situation I mean for she just doesn't play that game anymore now She knows it's like don't play with fire. Yeah, because when she made the fat joke I laughed and I thought she's like She's like the girl who went surfing who's like now missing an arm from the shark and now she's friends with the shark Yeah, she's like no, no, we're just hanging out right? She's like you're not getting on that surfboard, but yeah, she's I think we're cool.

Yeah now. I have to really uh, maybe I'll ask her It's like are we cool? You should you know because I had a buddy recently who I? Dude and this is like one of my bros that I thought like we had swashed something from like a year So ago and another buddy told me like I'm like why is he acting this way about this and he's like well You did that thing that one time I was like dude I literally forgot about that because I apologize a I owned up to it and we talked it out and we talked it out and Squashed it like as soon as somebody says like we're good Delete like it's gone out of my head.

Yeah, and then I had to revisit it because and I was like hey Are you like he's like yeah? It's like it's still kind of bugs me to be honest. I do I can't really get into it Because it's comic I can't really yeah, but um I just um it was a um it was a heat of the moment thing where Some respect between us. We kind of tested each other's respect levels and it happened in front of some other comics So it's weird because like I've definitely been roasted by like comic buddies.

Yeah, and they got the best of me But I'm also laughing too though like of course it's fucking hilarious if I don't have anything I just got to sit there and take it I don't know if you like if I get like properly roasted. I'm like you got me I don't have anything that's hilarious. Yeah, that's where it is and then you just fucking you go home and cry yeah You write rose for the next time. Yeah, I don't know where there's no context whatsoever and another thing I'm like fuck you doing that another thing It happened a lot but you know what the funny thing is too is I always found it very odd just because I don't think I've ever Like fully died into like the stand-up comedy realm I just happened to do stand up growing up because I wanted to be a really dope stand-up And then I found YouTube and I switched you know I did YouTube instead.

Yeah, and so I didn't realize how a lot comments are a lot more sensitive than they put out to be dude I mean that is such an understatement. I didn't know dude I think in with me working with comics and becoming super close friends with comments over the years I think that we are actually more sensitive than the average person even the people who put up that those big walls and something I think a lot of them for the most part are not Teflon like they really everything is weighing down and then like the whale with the barnacles underwater You know what I mean? Yeah, I had no fucking clue and there's obviously we're not gonna name drop But like just having a couple of conversations with people and you know the conversations at the like you I didn't like the way you did that I'm like wait, you're the one that's fucking out you're tweeting that you're not you don't get people should be able to say whatever they want And I'm like oh, but it doesn't apply to you though. Yeah, you want people to praise you.

There's also The ego in the stand-up world I mean you have to have a somewhat of an ego to think that you can hold the attention of a crowd for an hour being one person Talking to Mike you have to be somewhat delusional to even like get into it But there's I feel like the longer I'm in it I'm like oh wow I didn't realize that comic had like a legit like ego with about them. Yeah, like they're not like roll the punches They're like hey, can I talk with you for a second? Oh, okay. Yeah, cuz I've gotten roasted and then after I just come up to him like Bro, you got me good dude.

That shit was fucking funny I mean, I think this is you know everybody's different I get it but I think that's because that's how I grew up with my friends Sure, I kind of expected comics to be an ex like an extreme version of that where you could literally say whatever That's I mean that's a lot of comics love language is is the roasting you know, I mean like that's how they show affections like okay If you're interested in me, then I'll mess with you like I'll roast you. Yeah, the worst thing you can do is ignore somebody That's I mean, yeah, that's that's way worse than getting roasted or being made fun of a little bit here there If you are ghosted by people in person, that's always worse Yeah, cuz I heard there's other story about somebody else where they were they kind of they had him as a guest on a podcast and then they Made this like reoccurring joke about the person and then afterwards they had to cut that whole section on the podcast Because they're like a man comic the comic like you can't really do that It's like the fuck are you talking about? Kind of weird thing to say like you're on a comedy podcast. Yeah, I've only ever had I think about one or two people in all the years I've been doing podcasting and something that'd be like hey, can you take that section?

I'm like really? I don't like it. Okay, I rarely ever edit my podcast ever so if somebody comes on and like hey, I'm like it's probably gonna go in bro You took the risk when you came on dude here like it's already exporting right now It's uploading like I'm not gonna put like obviously have a certain amount of sensibility like if they say a joke that I feel That's gonna be misinterpreted. I'll do it for them.

I'll give me like that's not even worth the trouble exactly I'll take you're looking out for them in that way like I had a buddy of mine who was a musician came on the podcast And he did this whole 20 minute session about how he hates how his fans behave and act and I'm like we gotta take that part out Of course, you know, I'm like the biggest dick ever exactly so he makes you go Oh, I thought that was good conversation. I was like it wasn't I was like number one I can make fun of people because this is my brand This is who I am a musician. Yeah, it was nothing funny about that That's when the musician that happens a lot and I mean I'm a comedian who does music so musicians might be like Oh, you're doing the music so but there'll be the case where I'll see some comics That will be on stage as a musician with a comedian and they think that they can extend as far as that person perfect example And John Mayer is actually surprisingly funny for like he doesn't claim to be a comedian But he goes up with Dave Chappelle and when he goes up with Dave Chappelle like there's bound to be misses It's Chappelle and Mayer is trying to you know Smart out there a little bit so like you'll see that and then sometimes you'll see the reach where you're like Oh, you can be like you can you can see him be like oh, I maybe shouldn't set that like yeah But I mean that's that's kind of the beauty of like improv and live entertainment also to Chappelle says stuff that most Comics can't say because it is Chappelle. He's graduated to another level Yeah, like people he always gets the benefit of the doubt card because he worked towards that Like most people won't get that like I wish I could say half the stuff that you could say but it won't be funny So it's really you believe that I'm not gonna stand by this I'm really sorry I didn't mean that I have to do the Instagram apology on the notes Yeah, that's dude.

Oh my god. I fucking hate those apologies the fucking most like I've learned Did you make a video recently that I'm sorry? Dude that made me laugh real hard. I can't I so sorry You know what the funny thing is like there was a handful of people like you know what I'll take this apology I'm like it's not an apology.

I'm making fun of the people making apologies It's like what are you talking about don't you love it when you like throw a joke out there? And then like it doesn't even hit the dark boy that you thought it was going to you're like People are like, you know, I'm really glad that the day was really like changing because I could just turn your leaves like dude I'm not I did nothing wrong. I'm making fun. I got so mad somebody wrote like this shows real growth and I blocked You bitch no he's grown around here I'm still in the door bitch.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I was just like oh my god I guess it just went right over people's heads. I'm like, yeah, I guess you know I don't know why they want like I guess the apologies are fine Like I'm not gonna knock it But you know I think when a comic make a joke it is a clear joke that was a miss just fucking live and die by it And if it was incredibly tasteless, then maybe you should apologize Sure, but you don't have to grovel though like the groveling thing It's like it's a bit much because sometimes I get scared where well Then you are giving the control over to the audience at that point It's kind of the thing where when you're doing stand up if the audience senses that you think that the joke that you made was Importaste they're looking they're looking for your weakness now Yeah, now they're looking to be like oh, it's gonna apologize or is he gonna double down and stand by it? 99.9% of the time the funnier move is to double down and own it. Yeah, and we're not talking about like Kramer situation You know, but if it was like a joke that did it go over well Then it is what it is.

Yeah, and they'll take it out of their set and they're kind of working it You know, I think it's kind of sometimes when I go to like Santa comedy clubs I'm there to just laugh my ass off and I sometimes I see like a young comic and you could tell they're teetering the SJW line too much It's like you're not even saying anything dude. Just get off stage What's the point that happens a lot like um when hipsters do comedy? It's like it's like you haven't said a joke. What are you?

You're talking literally just pop culture references and you're talking current political statements. Mm-hmm There's no punchlines. You're just being like what about this and like yeah, what about it? So you've noticed that too, right?

There's no punchline at all like you're like I saw it So like I mean you know when you go to comic this was you know pre-pandemic But I was like I've watched four people go up and they didn't make a single joke. Yeah, how come there's no punchline Data or like what the fuck is going on here? Like what did I just watch? It's a newer age hipster thing.

That's what it is It's so weird like and it's very bizarre and then people are kind of like kitty laughing here and there and they walk off And they look like they just killed their set but you know as audience member We're me and my buddies are looking around like what the fuck did we just watch? Yeah? It happens a lot like so I always label myself, you know people sometimes will label themselves a club comic or like an alt comic Mm, and I usually label myself an alt club comic because for the clubs I'm the weirdest guy you're gonna see like I'm hands down one of the weirdest people you're gonna see at the club And I do all the things But if you're too allty that's when it gets into the area where you're like not really saying the punchlines And I would go do those rooms and I would get nothing because they're like hey this guy's trying too hard It's like yeah, I'm trying because I'm performing for you. Yeah, I'm literally giving you a show right now and be I would do punchlines And I'd be like ha and be like nah nah man Do you feel like in terms of like like stand I always like was curious about this especially in your comic like do you stick to what you do in terms of your style or do you adjust to your crowd?

Because I always felt like when I first started doing stand up I always felt like I always had to adjust to the crowd and after a while it started eating away at me Sure, you know cuz I'm because I'm starting to see the other way where people just stick to who they are and if they bomb they bomb Yeah, you know I see that with some of literally the biggest and best comics in the world who they will do them a Thousand percent and if they don't have a good set they're like whatever they're not phased by it me I'm somewhere kind of in the middle where I'm always I stay like This true to myself who I am but I definitely adjust my energy level. Yeah, yeah, yeah because It doesn't make sense sometimes like if I'm on the road and I didn't sell out a show and there's 30 people in a room that seats 400 people It doesn't make sense for me to do this exact same energy as like coming out as crazy Like I can maybe start there to make a joke out of it But after a while people are looking around like dude, why is he talking past us? We're only right here Why is he not connecting with us that so that's that's how I adjust just with the energy is like all all adjusted according to maybe the size of The audience or if they're really digging certain material. I very much free flow from one bit to the next where I'm like Oh, they like that.

Okay, let me move this order on my head. Let's go in this direction for a while Yeah, cuz I I think I started looking back cuz I like these old video clips of when I just stand up When was I understand three years ago? It's been a long time. Okay, it's been a hot second Yeah, I didn't do it for you give the itch a little bit, but I'm actually I'll be honest.

I'll be honest I'm fucking scared shitless in three years. Well, yeah three years is I'm fucking tired man. Yeah, because you're writing these jokes And even yesterday I was like okay, I'm gonna get back into it and I started like kind of practicing the set and I'm like this is the most Unfunny as shit I've ever heard of myself. I start booing myself.

Yeah, you're like why am I doing this? Why am I doing the jokes in the mirror? And I'm so scared of doing what I used to do when I was younger where you kind of just get louder and more obnoxious because you're trying to Squeeze a laugh at us. Yeah, you're reaching to hit that like that to get that laugh a little bit more Yeah, and I was writing my jokes.

I was like oh I lost my voice. I don't like voices anymore. It's been so fucking long Yeah, you know and so now I'm like, okay, I just got to go out and bomb 30 times It's frightening though, man. Like it's such a scary thing I don't think I I felt this way since I first started standing when I was like 16 where you get those kind of butterfly feeling Yeah, like when the stomach starts to hurt.

I'm like I'll shoot I'm back here again, you know Yeah, I haven't felt that in a long time, but it used to be around a lot and it sucked Of course it does of course. I still remember the last time I felt that was when I first moved to LA 10 years ago and then because I was I just decided to do stand up full and I was doing YouTube full time And at the time YouTube didn't make money so I had to stand up So just like I make whatever cash or whatever in the sure part I'm job So I was I was doing that and then I thought this is fine Like I haven't done in the year I'd be like riding up like I go up on stage and then my stomach started hurting like it felt like somebody grabbed my intestines And was reanking it just pulling yeah, and that set is still up there because it was at the ice house Yeah, it's the worst that ever done in my fucking life and it was terrible So they kept it on their channel and you sons of bitches I'm just thinking down and I'm gonna leave it up whatever it was like history at this point It wasn't that good But I could when in the clip you could see me grabbing at my stomach because it was hurting physically so bad And I kept rushing through all my jokes. I was about to throw up You're like hoping that the rushing will keep like the throat down exactly Just get to the joke get the joke and then I just remember it was a worse experience my fucking life And I had to go home and I scream it to my pillow like you fucking fat Why did you prepare a better set? You know and I just like oh god I still remember that feeling I was like you could have just prepared a little bit But you walked in a little cocky you're like oh you know this is your six days me Yeah, and then I go up forgot everything all disappeared fucking gut was hurting and I'm like what the fuck is going on Did you know did you try to do crowd work or anything to stall or that's all I had because I didn't my set was gone So all I had to do was fucking crowd work And then it slowly started the joke started coming back But all the jokes were disjointed now none of them connected right and it was the worst experience of my life And I'm like you don't deserve to live you fucking ugly gookie fuck I started just fucking yell get myself in the mirror.

I was so pissed I've had a lot of those moments back. I'm just like why did you do this my first audition was like that in LA where I Was before I hate the story so much but like I'm so fucking dumb that I Decided I wanted to audition and you know when YouTube allowed like agents to pick me up or whatever what not so I get my first audition For some fucking reason I'm thinking that every audition that I get is for a comedy role So I get this it was like for NCIS and for some reason I read it as a comedic role Right, but I'm literally like a forensic season I'm really like a forensic scientist and I'm examining a dead body But for some fucking reason I read it as in a comedic tone I go to this audition right and I'm just like Well, I'm doing this and then the person looks at me and she goes that is a very interesting take And I'm like what does she mean? Yeah, and I'm looking down and I had a snap moment in the audition I'm like you're a forensic scientist. This is a dead body and it's a mercy What the fuck did you just do and my fucking face just went flush and they're like can we try it a little more serious?

I was like got you and I did it. I went back into my car I replied my seat all the way back and I went fuck it So fucking mortified I was like you're harder yourself sometimes a little bit Yeah, I drove it off into a bridge and I survived Fuck man, but that's the that's the stuff that you kind of have to go through though Like yeah, I'm bearish in the trials and tribulations and I did that four more times and I never did again So I wish I could find it's probably on some hard drive or something somewhere I don't know I my first headshot that I was using in LA I mean Just this is what I was doing I was typing up my I type of enacting resume that was like that looked like a job resume because that's all I knew I love it and in the corner I was like okay I'm gonna have this all fancy in the corner It is all in a word doc that I put this in and in the corner is a picture that my sister-in-law's mom took of me in Their backyard in Kansas with me any dress shirt kneeling behind flowers And I'm thinking I look GQ good. You need to find this photo so bad. I gotta find this photo.

It's so rough dude It's literally just like oh, this is what he thought was gonna book him stuff It's so embarrassing like to think of the photo because it's so it's so far It's literally a cast director would look at it and be like this person has no knowledge of what? Everything is out here and and I was auditioning like through Craigslist and stuff like that when I first moved out here Well, you know what sometimes the funny thing is like sometimes that works for you because when I it's like not my story I had when there's one Ashton Kutcher who gets like discovered You know like at a mall or something like that and then like all the ugly people like that one guy He can have it So I did this this Sunday's film Yeah, and I didn't have much aspirations to be an actor I just did it in spite of the fact people told me I could enact and I was like I can fucking show you know And so you know my buddy Justin Sean He decided to do a film with me and then we got into Sundance and then after that I had a bunch of just people knocking at my door So I didn't expect to guard that I didn't expect to go to Sunday and I was just like I just want to do this film to show people I could fucking act and so you know it opened up a lot of doors And I had general meetings with every casting director in LA I don't know what general meetings are right. I don't know what you're supposed to do I don't know any of this Hollywood shit because I just kind of stayed in my own room I did stand up and I did you two of course that's it There was no breakdown of how you're supposed to be how you're supposed to dress So when you do a general meeting they're basically getting assessed if they want to call you in for auditions based on what you look like You're vibe or whatever so people will dress like casual, but they'll dress up looking nice I should look like this but with a tank top Flip flops socks just to show you guys real quick and I walk in I don't know what I did like ten general meetings like this and then I met one of these casting directors And they called me for a lot of auditions And they're like you know you had such a unique approach to your to your general meeting that you know We just really fell in love with you. I was like I don't get what you're saying What do you mean?

She goes yeah, you showed up in flip flops and socks and a shirt and I'm like you said it was casual They're like yeah, we said casual, but what the hell is that your casual is a little bit lower scale than what we consider casual I was mad casual and I had an assistant at the time And I would bring her with me and I would like hey Can she sit in this meeting because she wants to be a casting director So she would like to meet you guys just using it as my opportunity to boost my my fucking assistant You know and I'm just sitting here just asking them about their job And she was I've never had somebody sit there and interview me the other way around because I didn't know what general meetings was But I mean I had I've only had a couple of general meetings and I look back at them and I'm like frick I was definitely too roasty with one with a couple of the casting writers at one place where I was like Ah, they're not calm. Yeah, they just cried. I'm probably they're like oh so you're from Kansas? Ever seen a tornado?

Like stuff like that. No, like I started like making fun of them. I'm like yeah I'm like have you been an earthquake out here in California? I just don't stuff like that.

I'm like They won't call me bad. That's so weird. Have you ever like had those weird really weird and awkward show pitch idea meetings? Yeah, man.

I have I remember this very specific one because I wanted to pitch this idea and this was the worst time I could have picked this idea because this is when North Korea was hacking into everybody shit And I wanted to do I had this character called Kinjong illa He's a North Korean defector that's coming to the United States that wants to know what it's like to be a normal person But he has because he's a North Korean dictator everything is done for him So I try to humanize this guy by putting him in real life humans But he learns to be a human by doing fucked up things So the first episode that I pitched was Kinjong illa becomes a sexual assault defense instructor, right? But he's teaching men how to defend themselves against women who've taken self defense classes So and I'm describing this whole episode and I just remember I'm dying laughing telling this idea because the first episode is literally So it's kind of like Borat half actors half real. Yeah, and so that the other people who don't know what's going on He comes in this North Korean dictator sitting there and he's sitting there and he's instructing these women who don't know What the fuck is going on but literally it's like an anti-rape kit belt where there's like a plier that crushes the rape whistle There's like a little bottle of milk that you could put in your eyes for when you get pepper sprayed It's like and the sign says remember like no means sometimes and that's like all this like really fucked up shit And I'm dying laughing and literally 80% of the room is mortified just silence silence But I can't believe you're even saying this about loud exactly and then the other 20% Just happen to be some of the writers and they're dying laughing for the writers are like this is insane Yeah, and they're like hey, can we work on this project? We're not picking up this project.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the writers are like I'm ready to start working immediately Yeah, cuz I assume that I'm just supposed to go balls to the wall and then you know they'll cut out Yeah, they didn't like it. Yeah, but they didn't like yeah, yeah, they're like the the the funny thing was I was trying to explain to them It's like it's it's funny because he's gonna learn at the end how wrong this is and in fact all the women are beat his ass And then he's gonna be like I never knew this when a woman says no means a no. It's a truth Didn't go to that pitch part they just kind of cut it right there Yeah, I didn't happen Yeah, it's uh, I mean I think that's the only really some people get lucky and they just knock it out of the park But I feel like that's the only way you really learn and figure things out is just like by messing up a bunch Well, that's the the cool thing about YouTube is now If you have an idea and a small budget and a good amount of friends You could create your own little short and show a proof of concept so fucking faster. Yeah, it's so different It's so different now the red tape is not as existent as it was I mean, there's still is a lot but before like if you can show proof of concept on YouTube Let's say they should get something hundred thousand views every time well, that's a guaranteed audience Yeah, why don't you back this instead of some random fucking idea that comes up on a script?

Yeah, you know, and I I love that idea and they are originally were interested in the Kim Jong-il character because of that But they just didn't know how far I wanted to take it, right, you know, so Little much a little little I thought it was fine I you know, I know that you have a great singing voice and I want to utilize it in this episode I know your huge R&B guy. You love R&B. Yes, I do. I see even his voice changed a little bit.

Yeah You know I'll be loving Yeah, you know what it is. Okay, let's get it I'm like what am I boy changes suddenly like David likes army? Yeah, baby. You know what it is.

What good? Hell yeah, you know what it is. Go to go. We gonna do things a little bit different tonight You go fuck me against the wall Yo, go get the strap on It's a progressive army guy like in the current days now.

Hey girl, you have to pay my ass. I'm trying to get fucked I feel like like the board of people who were like listening to your Kim Jong-il a picture in the room now They're like okay, I was like we have a conversation there in the podcast, but we don't know about these riffs We need a good choice not picking a shit up. He's actually a lot weirder than we thought he was So I have an idea that I think I think you'll dig this idea I have a theory and I think it's a pretty easy theory the boys to men with the way that they sing they can make any lyrics actually Easy shit easy right so I figured that we could pair them up with a song that's not necessarily a romantic song and spice it up Let me violate you. Do you know what song that is?

Let me desecrate you. Let me penetrate you you let me complicate you Which song is this this is closer by nine inch nails? Okay? I see your heart second baby.

Yeah, you look it's going to the umses I see the fat ass that big in my life two peaches my dick right in the middle We gonna spread that shit like peanut butter baby. What's good with you? Hahaha Rapa life hit the next one I like that. How do you do it like?

Good run. Yeah, baby Cuz I'm whack Yeah Animal My whole existence is flawed you get me closer to God. I don't know how to rise up this goes You got you can have my isolation You can have the hate that it brings yeah, you can have my absence You can have my everything You can take it away you tell them I reason bitch It's your six-second Pussy help me you make me perfect Blow me because somebody else Yeah together I wanna fuck you like an animal Inside out You like it in my own existence is flawed You bring me closer to God Yo that shit was fire cut Slayed up Jeremiah one is his broad to my upstart Do you dread looking at your credit card statement every month? I don't blame you What up start can help upstart is the fast and easy way to get a personal loan To pay off your debt online Cuz I've had debt for years And it's annoying This paid off credit cards are consolidating your debt Over half a million people views upstart to Get a simple fixed monthly payment Unlike other lenders upstart looks at more than just your credit score like your income and employment history This means they can offer smarter rates with trusted partners Guess what?

It's just a five minute online Rate check You can get approved the same day you can receive the funds as fast as one business day If your debt is taken over your life it's time to get a first start with upstart Where you are more than your credit score Find out how upstart can lower your monthly payments today When you go to upstart.com slash Jeremiah That's upstart.com slash Jeremiah Don't forget to use our URL to let them know I sent you Gotta throw in this disclaimer Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit card income And certain other information provided in your loan application And now go to upstart.com slash Jeremiah You guys enjoying this episode with David So? I know I am If you would come see me on tour I promise I won't have this piano I mean Indiana, Indiana, Fort Wayne, Indianapolis, Indiana August 27-28 As in Texas September 10-12 Las Vegas September 17-18 Austin, Texas September 22-25 In Kansas City September 30-30 October 2-22 Hunting to Beach October 9-25 And Houston, Texas November 4-6 And get tickets to JeremiahWalkings.com While you're there check out the new Susan Bresnerst that just dropped I love all y'all And now let's get back into this episode with my pal David So? Bless up, bless up, bless up That was fine Yo, that went hard It went real hard The R&B sexual offender voice Yeah, it always works The most forceful R&B ever This is what I'm gonna do to you Rather than the proposal of an R&B It's like, no, this house going down I'm gonna spread the ass, she's like peanut butter bitch All the soft things are perfect It was very unnecessary Very unnecessary, yeah I appreciate it Also, needed Of course, R&B, oh wait, that's what I love about R&B man Like the OG early 90s R&B is like 50% dudes just talking to them like Oh dude, that's so great Hey, I've been thinking about some things Some things have been on my mind lately And it's just like this monologue of them just telling the woman how they feel And then it goes back into the runs and back into the beautiful courses and stuff It wasn't, you know what, early music It was a lot more direct The lyrics were more direct and forward There wasn't a lot of like trying to figure out what the fuck they're saying Perfect example Jagged Edge Me, me, and the author And your wide dress Mm-hmm We ain't getting no younger So let's do this Let's get married Yup You can't get more direct than that in a song They're not alluding to Hey, like, if I was at a crush on you Like, they're not paying you, it's like, hey We are old We need to see what this is up You're looking not as good as you used to I'm getting fatter, I'm losing hair, like there's all this stuff that's going on You look busted You used to be fine as fuck You broke now Yup I'm going to be a part of the playlist Oh dude It's such a good song Let me ask you something Is it still okay now to use R Kelly in your wedding music or not? What song?

Ignition I think that's going to be bumping on the... I mean, it's got to I think he's in jail now, right? He might be I think he's in jail, I think we could use it Probably Because now that he's not free, we could play the music The whole thing about the Cosby thing for me is like, when he was in prison, why not roll his stuff? Why not let the other cast get their money and get their residuals and stuff like that from the show?

You know, I actually thought about this, right? Because the show is called the Cosby show But he's playing Heathcliff, Huxable He's playing a character And actually that show molded a huge part of my life Dude, a lot of people's lives He was an idol to so many people And he showed America to the dumb people who had racist ideologies and beliefs That black people can be well spoken There can be multiple doctors and a family and they can raise good children and stuff like that It literally changed the perception of people who maybe had no friends or relationships with black people 100% it actually, like Felicia Rashad, the woman that she was playing on that She was my ideal woman that I always wanted to be with Someone who was a partner in her law firm Killed it at home, did everything and she didn't take shit from fucking anybody So when I see that show and they took that show down I was like, yeah, that's Bill Cosby's face, but he was playing Heathcliff Huxable And that show had a positive effect on my life It literally molded the type of woman that I wanted to be with It molded the type of family I wanted to grow up And kind of how real and honest I wanted to be Because people forget the very first episode It was such a detachment from the traditional family sitcom Theo comes in, he's sitting in his room And he just goes, Dad, I just want you to love me for who I am And then he puts his hands on his son and she goes, Theo, that is the dumbest thing I've ever had It really broke up like the idea of the nuclear family is This is some real shit This is real stuff right now I always, you can't, why should you take the show away? It's so good It's such a good show I know he like, you know, drugged up like 76 women But that's Bill Cosby, this is Heathcliff Huxable Alright, underneath that table is two tickets to see Bill Cosby We're going, let's go baby Do you think anybody's going to put him on anything now? Absolutely, that's the mess up thing For sure Okay, really?

Oh no, no, I think he will get a small run of comedy clubs Without a doubt If he wants, if he keeps him thinking he's going to do it If he wants to go out and tour a little bit People cannot turn away the money at the clubs, they'll catch him But it's a money thing at the end of the day The clubs are going to put him up If they're putting up like some people who don't even have a stand-up act at all They're going to put up a guy who's considered a legend in the stand-up community Who, you know, did a lot of stuff But they're going to see it as more of a circus attraction They're going to be like, why not? I've heard so many Cosby horror stories Like it's kind of nuts, there was like one where I heard where he had a He would make his security guard Watch him go to sleep Watch him go to sleep Because I don't fucking know, but he would lay in bed and be snacking on shit And he would make the security It wasn't like the security, like his personal one, he would be like the one at the hotel saying, hey, you got to sit here and watch me go to sleep What a power move He would always do weird power moves on people like so As so bizarre Because there was a conversation where 80s, comics were gods Because wherever they went, that's where the money would go So nope, there was no social media, there was no Twitter, there was no YouTube, there was none of this Fame was a very, like, that's the thing that's weird about the quote-unquote fame that people have You can have a couple million followers on social media But not be recognizable in any city in America Yeah But those guys, no social media, but everywhere you go, you are known You are a face that has been seen on people's TV sets around the house, less channels and everything Yeah, I think that's like the real guy to what your fame level is, right? Because you could have a million followers on YouTube, it doesn't really mean shit Well, it means shit to me personally, because of my relationship with fans if I have a million followers But you'll see people who have fame fame, where no matter where they go, where it's like in France, where it's in Egypt, whatever, they know their name It's like, who doesn't know who Michael Jackson is, who doesn't know who Michael Jordan is Yeah, like those people have reached like a certain pinnacle of success in their careers Yeah, there's a handful of comics who I know personally who have that old school fame And one of them is probably sure Oh, yes, for sure He has that old school fame, wherever he goes, people know right away It's just a different kind of thing Yeah, his social media might not be, he might not have a million subscribers on YouTube, but he's so freaking recognizable, it's insane You know what was actually really surprising to me during pandemic, I think Chappelle's special drop during pandemic And then I was watching it and I love Dave Chappelle, right? Whatever he drops, I'm watching it and I fucking love it And then my fiance looks over at me, she goes, who's Dave Chappelle?

We are now separated She said, excuse me, Dave Chappelle? She goes, who's Dave Chappelle? I was like, what do you mean? She goes, I don't know who Dave Chappelle is, I'm like, who's Michael Jordan?

Do you know who Michael Jordan is? Yeah, yeah, yeah, she has no idea who Dave Chappelle is How did that slip past her radar? I have no idea, she's odd, like I call her like my, like my sitcom wife Cause she has really weird sitcom shit Where you're like, is this for the studio audience? I'm waiting for a laugh track, I'm like, what did you just say?

Yeah, you're the clueless husband that's just like, huh? Yeah, she literally says stuff like that and I'm like, this is why I keep her around She surprises me every fucking day with her, she's a fucking hilarious Yeah, I'm in a surprise, yep, Dave Chappelle, never in my life I never thought anybody would say that, who's Dave Chappelle? Why does everybody love him is what she said? I fucking hate you so much, that's amazing Does your wife have like a really great sense of humor too?

She does, yeah, yeah, that works, it's awesome, right? It's so fun, how great is that? She makes me laugh, I mean, and that's, I mean, you know, I'm a comic who sees every stand up go up at the comedy store and everywhere I would like to think of myself as not jaded, but like, you still get a little bit jaded on jokes no matter what, just how long you're in it, you're just kind of like, oh, okay, yeah, I know where this is going It's that element of surprise where my wife will hit me with something where I'm like, well, how did you, where did that come from? That's the best, you know, that was the interesting thing too, I think when, like, picking a break and then going back and just being an audience member It was so much more fun, I got to laugh my fucking ass off, really, really, so not analyze and critique and like be too, like, in your head about like, oh, I see what they're doing, you know what I mean?

I just, like, I've learned now to just shut that shit off, it's like, you know, when you go watch movies, I'm not trying to critique the fucking film, I'm trying to see if I just enjoy it, right? Maybe I'll critique it the second time I watch it, but now, like, at a certain point, if I went up, whoever went up, I went out to watch them, because I was like, I want to enjoy this fucking show, why the fuck do I have to sit there and analyze what the fuck they're doing? And, you know, some of the friends would come up and say, what can I do better, I don't know, but I was laughing, so I didn't make any notes. Right, right.

It would always make me enjoy the process better, because I got scared of getting jaded, like, trying to overanalyze comedy. Yeah, you don't want to get there, it takes the fun out of it. Yeah, I always wanted to go back to that point of like, I just want to enjoy the fucking show man, like all these guys, all my friends are fucking funny, I should be laughing too with the crowd. Like I shouldn't be sitting here and just fucking, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you can say this a little better, I'm like, I gotta tag for you.

I don't do that shit anymore, it's exhausting for me. I just wanna laugh now. I mean, I think the country is there with you right now. I think everybody's like, I just wanna laugh.

This year has been insane. I just, there's been a new appreciation going back to the clubs that people have had since the pandemic and it hopefully ended. It keeps doing this weird thing right now. But there's a different appreciation level and more of like an excitement and electricity behind some of the audience members who are attending.

So that's been fun. People want more. I think it's been a different granted, that ability, that comics have to make anything funny. And when you're away from it for so long, there's like, I just like.

Well, you're stuck with the same person for a year. Yeah, let me tell you something. The most time I've ever spent with my fiance was during pandemics. I was on the road all the time.

Yes, so I had to re, not relearn things with my wife, but there were certain things that I realized, I was like, oh, I think I'm annoying in this way. Because I'm usually gone. You know what I mean? There's less of me at home.

So I'm like, oh, I think I'm being annoying right now actually, I didn't work on that. We got to like really, really know each other. Yeah, I'm like, oh, I was like, how solid are you guys now? Oh, I mean, it was bad at first.

And then we fixed it. And now we're the strongest we've ever been. Exactly. And I'm like, holy shit, I know you better now than I've known you for the past seven years.

We were not ready. I was literally not mentally ready to have a child until the pandemic hit. And we really had time to ourselves and stuff like that. And she got pregnant.

And during that time, had I been busy on the road, I probably would not have mentally prepared myself for fatherhood if I was staying busy with road stuff and different stuff like that. But it really forced me to be like, you need to figure out why you're so scared of this thing. It's happening. So you need to figure out, and I had to assess and work on myself during the pandemic to try to figure out why is this bugging me?

So it went back to personal issues from insecurities and childhood and stuff like that that I don't like talking about. I keep my walls up from trying to talk from personal family stuff on certain things. But I reveal sometimes too much on podcasts because that's the nature of the game. Every once in a while you get in the moment.

I've never said that to anybody. Why did I just say that on podcast? I've never said that out loud. But that was the dope thing about pandemic.

I've said this so many times. It's like, it really put a mirror in everybody's face. You have nowhere to go. You're faced with all those thoughts that you chose to ignore because you could drink with your friends, hang out, and just go out and do your own bullshit.

Well guess what? Now you're sitting in a room, you're by yourself. Now you have to think. There's a lot of shit I talk about myself.

It's like if you were a big Snapchat user or something and you loved all the filters that used all the time. And then there was a malfunction where all the filters got taken away. And then you're just looking at yourself now and you're like, but I'm so used to hiding behind all these other things. A hundred percent.

But now I gotta look at this and now I gotta figure this out. Now I gotta figure out, I have to like myself. Yeah, that was the hard part to like, on a personal level that the relationship stuff. That was the point where my fiancee looked at me and she goes, you don't say I love you as much as you used to.

I was like, you mean bitch, I always say I love you. Like come on. Yeah bitch, I always say I love you. Hey girl, come on baby girl, don't bring her back.

You know what it is, be the body booty cheeks. Come on. You know what this means. Come on girl, you about to get it right now.

And it ain't even your birthday baby girl. It's just an obscure holiday. But she was like, you don't really say I love you anymore. And I'm like, I'm just so sorry.

I'm just so thinking of an RBR. Hey girls, Columbus Day. It's like, hey, no, it's Indigenous people. No, it's Columbus Day, observed.

Oh, okay, I see where you at. This continued holiday. Hey, I'm about to break you off. It's fucking Quanza baby.

It's a made up holiday. It ain't even real. Made by a college professor. But what the fuck was that?

What the fuck was that? You're talking about your relationship with your girl. Yeah, so she, she mentioned that I'd also say I love you anymore to her. And that's a bold statement.

Yeah, and I was like, what do you mean? And I found out, you know, I was sitting there thinking about, I was like, oh, I know I don't say I love you. And I never thought about it. Because when we first started going out, I would say I love you all the time.

And she didn't feel comfortable saying I love you to me till like, after three or four years. So I got chated. So it was one way all the time. So I was like, I got used to not saying it anymore.

Because I knew I wasn't going to get it back. But when she finally had the courage to say it, I didn't feel like I wanted to say it anymore. Because I was so scared of getting burned of saying it and not getting it back. Yeah.

So it ended up her saying I love you and me not saying it as much. So now we're working on me reintroducing that back without the fear of not receiving it back. Yeah, I mean, being intimate in different ways, like my wife talks about love language a lot. Yeah.

And she talks about how her mom's love language is gifts. That's how she shows, you know what I mean? Her love language. And my wife says, I think I'm, I don't know if I'm a physical guy, I guess.

I guess. Oh, sex, we love. It's just touch me. It's just touch me.

Okay. Yeah. That's me actually. Yeah.

She's like, what do you mean from me? I was like, just put your hand on my knee. Right? That's it.

Just like a neck shoulder, anything. Just touch me. Please touch me. I'm so pathetic.

No, I'm not. Please. I'm not a relationship. You can't hear it if you're married, right?

Maybe please just touch my knee, can't. Come on. It's me right here. It's me, a real bear and lonely girl.

It wasn't popping as much today. Do my knees pop. You know, say me your head. I play basketball the time, so I have to pop my knees every day.

I stop playing ball because of my knees. Yeah. It's sad because like you try to cross somebody over and the ball moves, but then my body stay still. And I'm like, what a ball go, but what am I?

My hands in my finger. Yeah, I stop playing ball because I actually fucked up my knees and my ankles and playing basketball so much. Yeah. Fractured both my ankles.

Oh, two separate times. Because of the pandemic time. And I felt like the oldest man ever and it really frustrated me because I almost threw my back out because I wasn't doing this jumping motion for layups or rebounds or anything. I literally did not do that exact motion for a year.

And that's different than any kind of push up or yoga when you're stretching up and jumping and using that and dude, a couple weeks in a row, I was like, I just, my back was so messed up. And luckily I'm like getting past it. You know what the funny thing is? I already know big facts.

Like if you grew up in my neighborhood, everybody would just call you John Stockton. That's like the first thing everybody calls a white dude that plays ball. Do you know how many times the black people call me Larry Bird? Oh, I do that.

They go, Larry Bird, Bird, Bird. And then as I got older, I dark. I dark. I dark.

I dark. Like anytime I pick up or anything because I had longer hair too. So like and I was, I was good in the key and down on the paint. So like that.

So they'd be like, okay, like bird out here. Okay. You know what the funny thing is? Like most people would say, isn't that offensive?

No, it feels good. No, no, no, it's the best. It's the best. It's accepted.

It's like, man, that's what black people do so well. They know how to bring you into their fucking community and make you feel like you're a part of it. That's like the best thing about the black community. It's like when they accept you, they fucking accept the fuck on you.

That's why some of my favorite comedy shows I've ever done are considered like urban rooms. Dude, if you win a black crowd over game over, they, I've been, I got thrown money at. As soon as I started killing on stage, like people standing up clapping, throwing money at me, like they are like, they make you feel so good. It's amazing.

It's that energy that's always like giving back. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's fucking dope.

Like I just already know it's like when you play pick up ball, there's always one motherfucker that looks like you and then people always sleep on you. Yep. And then they see you play. And the next thing was like, we want Larry Bird.

Yeah. We'll take bird. It's always like that. And I'm like, Larry Bird, you're like, no, you look like a bird, man.

Okay. Oh, you like bass? You like Larry Bird? Nah, bro.

You look like a bird. Okay, cool. It's the nose. Yeah.

I get it. Like a beak. Like, no, no, no, no, I got you man. It's no, no, no, like a.

Keep going on your feet. No, you'll feel me starting on the feet. The legs. Hey, you know myself?

The teeth. The balls a little wet from the tears. The white to soft. I thought you could play ball for just a little kid.

Damn. So you play play. Yeah. I was playing like intramurals in college, but I never played like at college.

I played a little bit in high school, but I got cut like my junior year and that's when I was like, I got to get real fun. This dream has died super fast. For sure. I started in.

Bassball is huge in Kansas. So if you get cut in high school, I had to reassess everything. I really thought that I was going to get a scholarship and I really thought because my grades were good enough. I was like, oh, I'll kill it in basketball.

My grades already good enough scholarship. No problem. Boom, boom, boom. And then that happens.

You got to reassess everything. Damn. Oh shit. Damn.

Because I can't imagine what that feels like. The guy who cut me, the head coach, he was my anatomy and physiology teacher. I had to see this dude every day after he cut me. Every day I had to see the same guy who cut me, which I thought about being a doctor as a kid and it sucked that want from me immediately.

I was like, I never know. I'm done. Like it literally like I didn't want to do anything in the medical field after that. I was like, I'm done.

I had to look at this guy every day who cut me and I was like, this guy ruined my life. God damn. That's a hard pill to swallow me. Yeah.

And you know what he told me? Never forget the words. He goes, there's just some guys who are younger than you that are better. Jesus dude.

Can you, this guy has literally no sensitive bone in his body. Yeah. What would he say that dude? I literally felt like a scorned woman in Hollywood where I was like, oh, these young girls?

Oh, show them. The red lipstick in the mirror. Yeah. And he just goes all the way.

Little. I'm sitting like a big dick between me. Damn. This motherfucker is harsh.

Yeah. He could have said like, listen, you're not there yet, but if you work harder, you might be able to get there. I knew because it was my junior year. Yeah, it was done.

That it was done. If you're not starting your junior year on varsity, he cut me from the JV team. Jesus. You know what I mean?

I was playing, I was on the sophomore team and then a lot of the guys who were really good, you were already as a sophomore starting on JV and then as a junior, you were starting on varsity. That was like the trajectory of like the way their system worked. So yeah. That's what I always wanted to play like football in a high school of my mom would have let me and she was like, you need to play basketball and then I shattered my ankles because she thought it was a safer sport.

I was like basketball is not a safer sport. Your joints get eaten up like a motherfucker. Yeah. Yeah.

If you're going a thousand percent, then yeah. All the time. And it was like, you know, indoor courts a little safer. Outdoor courts, your knees just get all of that shit.

Yeah. I've been playing on outdoor courts. Like we played comedian basketball Saturdays and yeah, you definitely, I was playing a guy who was big recently that I hadn't played somebody who was like, wait, all around me and he made me work. Like he was throwing bows and stuff.

And I was like, man, I haven't felt this. Oh, he's playing NBA Jam style. Yeah. He tried to dunk on the dude and I was like, I was like, why that wasn't me.

I'm like, bro, you know what comics do you know? I know. One of the biggest reasons why I stopped playing ball was because of the anger and the competitiveness and I would come out of people and I'm just trying to have fun. Of course.

And you know, there's always that one dude I always call him the coach. He's like, oh man, let's pick it up. Let's go. Hey, get your man.

Stop cherry picking. Stop cherry picking. And he's the worst person on the court. Always.

It's the most vocal person. Yeah. And I used to come on guys, we got him. Come on.

Let's go back out of my, well, I can go there now, but it's a 24 hour in Sacramento because dudes would get a little fucking loud mouth and handsy. And so we were playing and at this time, this was like the most fit I've ever been. And so it was fun to play ball. Like I could do everything that I wanted to do, but I always play for fun.

I'm not going anywhere. But there's always a few assholes that play as if they're going to get to the NBA. They think that they're going to be scouted and picked up out of the blue. Like somebody's going to be driving by and like, oh, somebody playing the Y right now.

Let me check it out real quick. Like tell me when that has ever fucking happened. Yeah. They watched the movie Moneyball.

It's like, I can have it with baseball, right? Exactly. And so we're literally playing ball. This dude gets all elbow like or whatever.

And I'm a bigger guy at this point. And you know, I was weight training. You know, you know, throw your weight around. Exactly.

I'm pushing him up and I'm not going to fucking sacrifice my knees and do crazy shit. But dude gets a little man, starts talking a little shit. I go over lay up. He undercuts me and knocks me over midair.

I get up and I'm like, bro, the fuck are you doing? You know, and I just start roasting his ass. I'm just clowning on him the whole time. Cause I'm like, whatever.

I'm not going to hit him or whatever. And guy comes up. He gets in my face. He fucking shoves me instantly, stuck him in the face, not the dude out.

I was bad. In that 24 hour. Now, did you, did it happen so fast where you saw red and you just knocked him? Yeah, well, he was already pissing me off like two games.

And then to the point where he shoved me, and he already knocked me in mid-air, he could've fucking broke my shit. Dude, a mid-air push, I mean, you're taking your legs out from underneath you. Yeah, it's just like, and then the last row, I was like, I'm not gonna play basketball with people I don't know anymore, because it just started scaring me. That's important.

Yeah, it gets to a place where, and this dude, who was way bigger than me, I never played with before. Of course. And he has some to prove. He kept going, big man game.

I was like, you wanna do this? Cause I know how to play big man game. And he really wants it. That's literally, because I got used to playing with dudes who were huge, and I was always like a small forward who was playing as powerful.

So I had to learn how to box people out who were way bigger than me. And you know what sucks, dude? Cause he looks at you once again, he goes, he's not gonna stop me. And literally said after the game, he goes, you're way stronger than you look.

I was like, I know how to position myself. Positioning is just as important. I always been like, yeah, cause I'm better than you. And I literally, I hit a turnaround jumper in this dude's face for the win.

And I am usually not a bad sport, but I go, I went for it. And the other comics were waiting, and they're like, oh, they're doing that whole thing. And he left after that. He left.

How good did that feel? It took me back. It took me back. It took me back to like, I felt like a little kid again.

It's like, who got caught? Not me. Exactly. Not little Jeremiah.

Not me. I'm gonna be a doctor, bro. You're all life-changing for your eyes. Whoa, the alternate timeline.

But that's the feeling that when somebody talks shit, and then you prove them wrong, it feels so, feels amazing. Fucking good. It's so good. It's the best, especially in competitive sports, man.

When somebody looks at you and they've already assessed what your value is, it's like, let's see what's up. Well, cause it's all on face value. They're judging you 100% just on your looks and your body and friends. They're just like, oh, okay.

You know what the biggest surprise was for people? Cause I used to go UCR and people don't know fucking Indian people love ball. And in UCR, these guys would ball people up. And they would always look at their face value and they would always have these little jokes, but they're getting bald the fuck up.

Like crazy. I'm like, don't judge people, man. This is a sport. That's how it was on a different, similar but different.

There would be these homeschooled kids that we'd play. Occasionally. We're like, who's this kid? He's coming in from this random area, the homeschooled, everybody sucks.

They would own people. Cause at home, they have a condensed schedule. So they're playing an extra hour or two a day compared to everybody else who we were going to school with. So they're draining threes like crazy.

Cause that's all they do in their driveway. It's literally all they do. That's crazy. I definitely figured out the difference between, like I'm asking like a ball now, it's been years I played cause I just gave up on it.

I started boxing instead. Which is also pretty dangerous. I was like wrong with me. But I went to, I played my buddy Khalif and he played like Pro Ball internationally.

And this is, we were like 27 at the time. I think he just stopped playing a couple of years ago. Or a few years at the time. And I was like, oh, I just told him like, I'm gonna play a game of 21.

And I want you to treat me as if I'm really good to show me what you got. I made zero points. I'm like, this is, there's a difference. I did that.

I did a ping pong tournament at a comedy festival. And at this ping pong tournament, they have it every year at a moon tower in Texas. You play with locals, not just comics. You play locals too.

So you end up playing people who are really good. Cause comics, you're gonna see a pool of talent only to a certain level. Now Judah Friedlander is the best ping pong player I've ever played in my life. And he made it, he wanted to let me know.

Cause I had gotten towards the end of the tournament. And there was only four people left. He wanted to let me know. Like, cause I tried to pull some kind of like quick like shots on him.

He goes, oh, he gave me a look like, oh, you're gonna try to get a cheap shot for a point? He didn't let me score 11 to zero. He nailed me 11 to zero. And I'm like decent at ping pong.

But he goes in every city and he challenges the people who are the local pros and he loves ping pong. Damn. Yeah, he's so good. It's so dope watching somebody do something at that level.

Yeah. It's like, how the fuck is this even possible? Yeah. And it doesn't matter what, it could be something as stupid as bad.

And I'm like, yeah. You're like, how did you get this good? Yeah. It doesn't make sense to me.

I mean, cause you're seeing it at like I think that's why people like Olympics, you get to see somebody. You get to see people at the top of their game, literally at like the pinnacle of their life. The most talented they're ever gonna be in one place. I just recently started taking boxing like seriously.

Cause I'm like, okay, I'm 33 now. I got my body still. Let me just see what I can do. And three lessons in, I never want to go back.

It is fucking hard. Oh yeah. It is so hard. Dude, I, my buddy who boxes mouth be, I just did his podcast where he was showing me how to spar.

Now it's no matter what I love to do. Dude, for two minutes, tiring as my shoulders were freaking dead dude. Like literally I was like, oh, I have a new respect for boxers. And Malcolm was a pro boxer.

Dude, he is, he was showing me some stuff. And then he like, he gave me a glimpse of what he's capable of. It was terrifying. It's scary as shit.

It was so, he literally like, he's like, okay, you ready? He, I what, it blew me away how fast he came at me where I literally went like this. I was like, oh, my nose would have just away inside my, my school and exploded my brain. Blood out my ears, dead.

Just dead. So like I had all those experiences because I was kickboxing for a couple of years and then recently I started to do boxing and you kind of go through these rounds. And when you look at it from a spectator's point of view, you say, why are they so tired? You know, you have 10 rounds, you can't be tired in a second.

I threw up in the second round. Yeah. So I'm like, don't ever say shit ever. No, it's hard.

Athletes, it's crazy. Cause it looks like, oh, you're moving around for three minutes. But that's with the anxiety of you might get hit. Yep.

You're moving your feet and you're throwing punches. So it's fucking exhausting. Yeah, when people are like, they're not doing anything out there. It's like dude, they're doing a thousand things right now.

Just doing this. Yeah. Just literally holding up their gloves and yeah, it's wild. Our first lesson, it was just movement.

And I didn't throw a single punch by the third round. I was gassed. Yeah. And I was so, this is the real story of what happened.

I watched Rocky 1 and Rocky 2 the day before I went to go train. And it was, you know, you see him go on the mountain slopes. He's fucking running and all this shit. Yeah.

And I'm like, I can do it. You know, the Korean version of it. He's like, yeah. And so I decided to bike to the gym.

It's seven miles away, right? Yeah. I bike to the gym and I'm like, good, I'm nice and warmed up. I wasn't warmed up.

I already blasted my legs out. Yeah, you'd spend all you spent everything. And so I'm there. I'm like, heaving because I'm about to throw up.

And I forgot, I have to bike seven miles back. I didn't think about this shit. So I'm biking. I'm getting like dizzy, delirious.

So I just get to a tree. I tie my bike to a tree and I fall asleep under the tree for four hours. Why does that sound like an episode of Pokemon? Ash Ketchum is very tired today.

He's been draining hard. Peek up, Peek up. He died his bike to a tree. Let's see what Misty does when she finds him.

Wake up, Ash. Oh, Misty. Oh, that's a really good Ash Ketchum impression, by the way. That's highly, that's really accurate.

I love it. I've been watching it too much lately again. That's fucking funny. That's really fucking good.

Holy shit, that was really accurate. Because he sounds like he's been smoking for 30 years of his fucking sick and shit in life. Yeah, yeah. He's been in a coal mines, like a substrate at the womb.

The only reason why I woke up was because somebody woke me up, because they thought I fucking died. Because the way I was laid down too, it's like I got a lot of building. You drew the chalk around yourself. Leave me alone, this lady came up with you guy.

He's giving me. And you go, OK? I'm like, what do we mean? She's like, are you OK, you need water?

I'm like, yeah, I'm sleeping. Oh, you're going to have to play. I thought you died or something. I'm like, how pitiful do I fucking lug them on the floor?