JW Ep 206 - Ryan Long

If you have a heart condition, you cannot volunteer for this. Yikes. Who would have thought that? This shows a test, dude.

He's on to the hospital. Give it a round of applause for hospitals. And welcome to this new chat show that I have. My name is feminist Stacy.

And today I have on my new friend Linda, who's also a feminist. I'm a real feminist because I got sucked. I sucked off three dudes on my way here. So someone's actually making a difference.

Okay. So what do you mean you sucked off three guys on the way here? Yeah. It's called liberating yourself.

You heard of it. But why would you lower yourself to a man's knees and suck him off when he could have clearly gone down on you? What you did? Well, I didn't lower myself.

I was underneath the van because I was fixing it because that's what a woman does. Okay. I'll give you that. So what I did, the guy came by and he said, that's my truck.

Why are you fixing? I said, well, obviously someone's got to fix it and I can't trust a man too. He said, get away from me. And then I basically took down his pants and sucked him off and it's called liberating yourself.

And I took the power back from him. And then while I was in the zone of taking the power back, there was a guy that was delivering a pizza. So I sucked him off. And then also I should mention that I'm polyamorous.

Okay. So all of this is, I think it's a good thing to discuss as a couple of feminists. I think that some of that, I think you need to, as women, we need to suck whatever dicks that we want. I think that we can put whatever dicks that we want in our mouths.

But at some point, we don't want to become like it's too free. Do you know what I mean? Then because then the men are taking advantage of us and our sexual prowess is. No, I was, I felt so liberated.

And I should also mention that my son was there to watch. So I left his father because his father didn't want to take my last name retroactively. Okay. I like this continue.

So then me and Marcus, my son, I took him out on the street and I had to show him that women can objectify men too by blowing them all. Now, is your son a feminist as well? He's a feminist boy. Yes.

I've been raising him gender neutral and I've been raising him to not. I've been raising my son. He says that he's straight, but I told him he waits until he's 25 before he makes that decision. Thank you.

And, you know, some people want to say that their favorite color is a certain thing. You can just say your colors gray until you make the proper decision. It doesn't matter. His favorite color is gray unless it's pink.

That's what I've always said. I said, and tell you're ready for your favorite color to be pink. Your favorite color is going to be gray. Do you know what my favorite color is?

Translucent. Why is that? Because it's kind of blurry and it has a lot of different colors than it. Well, I agree with you that nothing is anything.

But when I'm doing sometimes when I'm doing my only fans liberating myself, I let my son hold the camera because I like him to learn what it looks like for a woman to be actualized. There's two ways to look at only fans. One is objectifying women or two. Women are taking the power of their own bodies and they're putting it out there and they're making men pay for the things they're already looking at.

People are oogling over them. So we might as well be making money off of it. Do you have a connected only fans that I can maybe talk to? I have nine different only fans.

Nine different only fans. Yes, I have one for my front and then I've one for my back and then you have different accounts for different. I should mention that my gender change is very often. So I have one once those gender changes.

I have a different personality and I had to go on to a different only fans. Oh, this is not refreshing. So I'm non-binary mom 69s. Oh, continue.

And then I have binary mom 69 when I feel like binary. So sometimes I'm feeling binary. And then also I have one that's when I'm when I'm switching frequently, sometimes I switch from male to female to male to non-binary frequently. So then I have freaky freaky 69 is my sad third only fans.

Sometimes when I hook up with a man, I make him put on a strap on pussy just so I can let him know what it's like to have a vagina like me. And I pleasure myself with another vagina that's fake and also with a real one that is mine. I respect that. I respect your hustle.

Sometimes what I would like to do is also have men strap all of their penises and I feel like they should permanently wear strap-ons to let it know how we have to go through when we're wearing strap-ons to pegging them. Exactly. Almost like around Christmas, it's like like reindeer with like antlers and dicks all over their forehead. When I was liberating myself with a man the other night, one of the things I asked him to do was put a strap-on on over top of his penis and then peg me with it the way that I would have to peg him so he knows what we have to go through.

Well, one time I hooked up with a guy. Have you seen the movie Hellraiser? Yeah. You know Pinhead?

I'm familiar with Pinhead. Yeah, I can't. It's just a movie, but yes. OK, oh, we'll get into that in a second.

We got a hundred little dildos and we put it all over and take them all over his face and he looked like a Pinhead dildo Hellraiser and I said, this is what it's like to have all dicks looked at you all the time as a woman. I said, look at this in the mirror and try to come. He couldn't. They never can come.

But what I've sort of had I've been billing man extra for the mental labor, even though I wasn't a prostitute situation. This is someone that I met on Brinder. But this is I've been billing people for the mental labor that I've had to put in when I'm pegging them, even though the pegging was my idea. The only dating up I like is Bumble because it's the women's choice.

Well, I don't know if you've been familiar with this with your bumble hires, but sometimes when you're having sex with people once they ask you to once you demand that you peg them, then they start wincing in pain and then they allow you, like that's your problem that they're unable to deal with their masculinity being taken away from them. That should be something that I now have to deal with and that's something I resent. If I can take a dick, so can you. That's what I've been sort of saying.

That's what I've been teaching my son, Marcus. Yes. Do you want to sell bumper stickers on your only fan sites? I've wanted to sell bumper stickers that says will suck and just to let people know that I'm a woman, I'm strong, I am brave, and I will suck you off.

Don't think that just because I'm a woman, I'm a fragile person. I will objectify. So if you want to come to my house and even if it's a lineup of guys, I will take them one by one, taking the power back off 10, 20 guys at a time. So you in a way when you take them and come is like taking their freedom away.

I basically put them in an institutionalized situation where now you know what it's like to be a woman where I've just put you on the ground and pleasure you. Now why is Hellraiser's sex is film? It's because they've created a phallic situation to represent the protagonist of the movie. Oh, I see.

Where I would like to see holes and craters on that head to represent vaginas. I think most film and most. So you never you never very much see. You know, when you think about a pinhead, some of his minions had holes in him, but they were not as powerful as pinhead.

Never as powerful as draw. They're some serious characters. They're right, they're little side characters that they're serving him in different parts of hell. And it's kind of disgusting.

I never thought of that. It's a horror classic film that I love watching every Halloween. I've watched so many other different hell razors. But you know, I'm going to look at it in a different lightland because you've shown a different path on me and I appreciate you being here.

This is the thing that we see over and over again in cinema that as soon as someone is a hole in them, generally, especially when we're talking about a fight movie or a crime movie is the minutes of one is a hole in them. Now all of a sudden they're weak. I've been stabbed in my heart on week now. Yeah, it's disgusting.

This is a weaker person because they have a hole in them now as opposed to someone that's holding the gun, holding the sword, exuding power and this is something that I can't see now. Really? And then, oh, here's me. I have the sword and I'm doing the stabbing.

Look it. I'm a powerful man. I'm a powerful person. And this is something that I appreciate stopping right now.

And this howlraiser film is, you know, is just just another in a string of misogynist propaganda. It's disgusting. Linda, it's been such a pleasure. You finally vent with another feminist on my new talk show.

I love meeting with other feminists. I love other women. They're taking the power back. I do suggest you take a take a few dicks just to let guys know that you're in charge and you're large.

This is so empowering. Thank you. Do you want to go get brunch or like lunch or like dinner? You know what?

Let's go grab a steak lunch. Because that's women where, you know, there's so many people are like, oh, you can only get brunch as a woman. You can only do a coffee. I've heard that.

Let's do a carnivore lunch. Oh, you can eat buffet. What do you think? Women can get carnivore buffets.

Women can fart and burp. I make a point of farting and burping at all meals. I basically turn to my family and to the clumps to show people that that's the kind of thing that women can do as well. I'll show up with my tits out at a family dinner and let people know that, oh, oh, women can be gross too.

I'm sorry. Women can show up with period stains and shit stains on their body. And that's not for you to tell me what a woman's body can do. I burped at a dinner on a date once and a guy said, did you just squeeze and I killed him?

You should have killed him because that's not something that he thinks the society's not ready for a woman that can burp, queef and shit potentially. I've done it all the time, same time, simultaneously on the same dick before. I rarely don't, you know, because you have to sometimes lead by example. So I'm mostly, I was a job interview the other day and I took a shit in my pants during the interview.

I did not get that job, which I'm assuming was related to the shit because that's the expectations where if that was a guy shooting in the interview, probably when it got high five and been promoted as CEO. And we're just going to leave you with that. Okay. But there's still not equal rights for women and men and people of different color and people of different sexes.

Just keep that in mind and have a lovely day. Keep that in mind. Be better. Oh, snap.

Snap dog, snap dog, Ryan Long's all the way in from the big apple. How you doing brother? Rocking in from the big apple. Hey, I got to know what I was thinking that, because there's a few other musicians in the comedy industry.

Yeah. Do you find, you're going to drums, right? I'm not going to drums. Is that the only one?

No, I mean, I can do a little of a handful of instruments. Do you find that you're a good editor because of the your good musician? Interesting. So I've video edited for many years.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never really thought of that. I don't know, I think that there's definitely a musicality with editing the way. Huge.

Like the flow, just a video that you posted recently. I mean, and I do this all the time, like, comedically with music, like the hard stops in and out, like to keep pacing going and stuff like that. And I think that's a musician thing where it's just like, oh no, this needs a little bit of something here, this needs to like, you know. Yeah, a lot of times there's the people that I find are musicians.

There's like something off-balance about it. But I've been, you know, I've been making videos forever and I've never, it's very hard to find someone that's a good editor, right? That's probably the hardest thing to find. I found three or four and all of them were musicians.

And the most recent one I found, like I didn't know this about him. And he's pretty decent and we've been working together for a while and then he was like, yeah, I've been a musician, I was in these bands. And I was like, I've never found him really good. And even if you look, I used to like Tom Green, I was big into him and people like that.

Like, you know, like Tim and Eric and those guys got invented as genre, all musicians. He's like a DJ. So yeah, the Jackass guys originally like Bam or Jerry, those guys were a mental musician. Yeah, CKY, all that stuff.

Yeah, so interesting. So I've never found like a really, really good editor. And there's, I always found cause I've been making videos since I was like, you know, 15 or whatever, right? Yeah.

And I guess you might have been in this situation too where it almost became that being a comedian, now you need to do everything. Like you have to be a video editor, you gotta be like, you have to actually be like a rocket scientist now if you want to do stand up, right? Oh dude, it's literally like the ultimate Renaissance man feeling. It is a real Renaissance man situation.

Oh, crazy. The amount of like the plates that I feel like you have to spend now to be like a current stand up where in the 50s, like if you were just a great joke writer, you might just be the game that you go to the tonight show, just whatever. No, right now you're doing, which I kind of like to some degree, but yeah, even we come here. Do you, you got a saxophone here, you're like getting props ready.

You have to know how to work all the cameras, you have to know how to put sets together. Oh yeah. I mean, this is all, this is, I built all this out myself. Yeah, yeah.

A lot of people they go, I'll just hire people do it. And you're like, yeah, and it'll be worse. Oh, well also, it's harder to find, I mean, if you just throw tons of money stuff, you can always find people. But it's kind of harder than you think when you're like, yeah, I'll hire somebody to build out a studio.

It's like, whoo, whoo. And what they, well, everyone, they're good at, people are good at doing the job if you know exactly what you want. But a lot of the time the job is figuring that out. Like I built out a studio and it was kind of like, what do you want it to look like?

And I was like, I don't know, that's the job, I guess to figure that out. Right. What's aesthetic, what, like how are you wanting it to be viewed by? Ideally I'd want you to do something and then look and give it to me and I'd be like, sick.

Yeah, that's awesome. Cause if I'm once you're spending all the time and you're like, I just exactly what I want. I'm like, I've basically done it now. Right.

Which is why I did it. Then what's the point? Yeah, then what's the point at that point? It took me forever.

Well, you have an aesthetic that kind of suits you or whatever. But yeah, I was, that was one of the biggest things when I was doing the, my studio was like, I tried out like 80 different looks. I just had a board of so many studios. I just kept buying stuff.

Like I would buy like curtains and I'd buy different like backgrounds and I'd put them up and shelves and stuff and I go, okay, not there. It's kind of like trial and error and some degree. I just love how, you know, how passionate you are. And you really have to be to want to do all of this.

Like you put out videos every single Monday for people who don't know. Like if they don't really think about it, that's really hard to do. That's like a, you know what I mean? Like to consistently put that out.

I always say that's what, you know, there's a problem with like, when there's certain people that do this stuff and they're kind of like, oh, I want to like get to the point where I don't have to do that anymore. It's like, well, if you hate the thing, then don't do this. Like your whole goal is to get away from the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you have to, and it's hard sometimes, especially when you're touring stuff to, because you're like, okay, just let me get like two or three in the cans when I have to think about that. So that's when I know I need to like stop and even touring, I was like, can I need to like start canceling some dates? I need to start actually being at home and thinking about videos. Cause I'm like, if I'm not making good stand up and making good videos, then it's like, eventually the whole pyramid's gonna like top, right?

And then everything starts to suffer together rather than. And you hate it. And you're not gonna make it when you hate it. So I try to be like, stand up like the business card that everything like sits on.

And then for me, the videos is the thing where I'm just like, I have to make sure that I'm like in the zone making what I consider funny, because that has to be able to like re-energize you a little bit where you're just like, that little thing once a week where you're just like, that's funny, okay? That's okay. We're moving forward here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Even just like a, some of the times, and then you get better at knowing where you get, this won't do as good, but I think it is really funny. As opposed to, so you kind of get better at like, the energy of, I know this isn't as good, and this won't do as good, but I know it's really funny. And knowing how often you can do that, like every video can't just be like, this is a deep cut. Well, yeah, I mean, you gotta do like three for them, one for you kind of thing.

Yeah, you go kind of go, there's sort of like a science now to your pattern of what you release as well. You grew up in Canada, right? Yeah, I'm Sertron. I feel like you and I were probably living very similar lives as far as like with video making and stuff like that.

Like I'm from Kansas, you're from Toronto. Like we're probably, you know, different sides of the world. Were you like a musician skateboard kid, so in a situation? A little bit, yeah, yeah.

I was more, I was never great at skateboarding. I always like filmed videos for my friends because I was good at filming. So I was like, hey, I can ride and I'll follow you. So I was like a Canon GL2 and I was like following the rounds.

So like that. But yeah, I never got good at skateboarding, but played sax for a long time. And I'd always wanted to be in bands until I moved to LA. That's when I actually started actually playing with the finest of course.

I mean, no, but I know that the sax is. That's what we used to always say because I was playing in a punk's garden. Maybe you can tell which bands just raided the band department where it's like five people that look like they're in a band and then five people are like fucking looking like nerds. Yeah.

Just like a no front men whatsoever. Just like, okay, well that guy, I thought he was your roadie. But yeah, guys, no business being in like a punk family. You know, they needed a saxophone player.

So they just raided the band department in some dork school. Oh yeah. Just like Coke bottle glasses. He's like, I'm here for the Scomp.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How are you doing? Yeah, man. That was the weirdest mix of, especially when it was like the reggae bands because they'd be like the reggae guy component.

So you'd have like punk kids, like black reggae guy and then just fucking band geeks. You got all in like a band together. Yeah. Well, you played in bands for a long time.

Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Retired.

That's sick. No to the game. What was the final thing where you're like, I got to hang out. You know, I wasn't going good anymore.

I mean, that's a young man's game. I feel like I even, I think I got better as I get older than that kind of like knowing, interesting your own instincts. Yeah. And not, there is some degree, even the like wild comedy game, I think I'm aware of that too, whereas I used to do like the wildest shit when I was 15, 16, I used to do TV shows in Canada where it was all getting kicked out of place and stuff like that.

Like hidden camera, a lot of getting kicked out of malls and you know, where the whole gag was, the word causing trouble. Right. A lot of it was that. The ending, the big payoff is that you get kicked out of a location.

Ideally, yeah. Or the gag didn't work, right? No, I think I'm better at this. But that's a, so I think that you kind of look at the young people a little bit for the wildness and the, there's like an energy there that is sort of like just attractive.

Right. But ideally you can't compete with like the wild 20 year olds that just be in the being wild game. So you hopefully can still have some of that essence left in you, but then you're better at the thing. So you're, you can kind of do more interesting gags and you take comedy to like a place where you're being older.

You have that skills that they don't have a 20 because you can't compete in the being wild 20 year old game. I did this, this thing when I was in high school that was like a prank hidden camera segment that was real popular, that it was so popular that another school saw it and they ripped it off for me. The idea. Nice.

And I mean, that's when you know you're on to something when other schools are ripping you off. It was this, it was very simple segment. I was on crutches and there's a hidden camera that was in the distance and it was all a test to see who would help me out. And you, there was like, so I just be like going down the hall and then just freaking eat it.

That's a classic. That's a classic, yeah. And it was more just to see like which students would help. And there was multiple teachers that didn't help and we aired it on the school.

And they looked like huge dicks. Like one guy's literally just looking at me like, what is going on is like one of the coaches. Yeah. And yeah, it went over while the school because it's like, oh, that's what that guy was doing that way.

It's like so silly. There's a show called Just For Laughs Gags, if you know that show. And they were the original, it was, so it's probably Canada's biggest show, but it's for Montreal. And the reason it's the biggest show is because it has no language barrier, right?

So it plays in every country in the world. And they show a friend. Oh, we're not on the top. Yeah, yeah.

Like, don't ask friendship. They just would do like the cheesiest gags over and over and over again. And 90% of the show was like blind cane gags. And this would be the ones, right?

It'd be a guy and he'd be walking by people. And then he would like fall down a manhole. And then it would be like with them helping. And like, you know, most gags, like when you kind of, you know, even just ambush comedy, whatever, like a big of Aligee, the best ones are you sort of put someone in an awkward position.

90% of their gags are just like a funny thing happens. And then people go, like they're not even involved. So like a lot of them would be that. Like a blind guy like falls over.

And then people, like get people kind of being like, hey, they don't even put them in a situation. But so much of their things, one of them was a blind gag where there's a construction worker. And they had them walking over like these like high boards. And then they just kept like Mr.

Magoo style. They kept, you know, coming right at the end. He was just about to die. And then the whole thing was they'd have this big setup.

And then the whole payoff was they'd show people on the street like pointing at it. Yeah, I did a worse show. I did this stand up a bit like years ago where I was just like comparing the hidden camera shows like between the US and other countries. Jamie Kennedy was a good one from here.

Oh dude, the Jamie Kennedy experiment was like, I love that show. My mom voted on. So underrated. He pulled off some great, great pranks on that show.

Remember when he was on Lifeguard? So he was just like a 30 second thing. But he's basically, he goes, he blows the whistle. And he's like, everyone get out of the pool.

I needed to go to the bathroom. And then he just walks into the pool. And then just like pretends to piss for 30 seconds. Walks back out, gets on his Lifeguard.

Then he goes, everyone back in. That's a great bit. He was, it's so funny. He does a large black woman so well.

He can't do it anymore. But like they used to put him in full prosthetics. And he used to be like this fat black woman who would prank people. And it was so funny.

But like we're just like in a different time. It's hard to pull that off now. Yeah, black face is tough. You got, you got to have an extravagant reason why.

And you know what the other thing is? Like I think you could, someone might be able to pull it off. But like it really does. Rob, he didn't do any junior was the last person to effectively.

Like he did a character and he got nominated for it. You know what I mean? I think there was a few places that did it. But it's like, it really falls into, you can't do it without it being the shtick of like, it's like an edge lord move.

Right. So there's a lot of things that you just want to do it. But it's like, so even if you do get to pull it off, it just became its own thing of the old, there's a lot of jokes like that where you just like, I would love to do this joke. But it's like certain types of accents where it's like, you can't just like really do an Indian accent in your bit without like the bit kind of being that I'm doing an Indian accent.

Yeah, that's the people are laughing at it like for the wrong reasons. Yeah, you almost have to talk about the context of the taboo rather than the just doing it. Right. At that point, like if that's your purpose, but a lot of times that's not what they're rigid.

By the time you talk about it, you're like, well, that's not funny anymore. Yeah. I just did all like having to over explain jokes. Well, there's like an old principle I feel like with the first people as soon as someone says like, you can't talk about this, right?

Yeah. Then it's like the next step is you kind of make fun of the people that told you you can't talk about it, which is I think what a lot of, you know, a lot of people have done right now. There's a lot of people right now telling you this is what you can't say. Right.

And then the natural instinct is to it's not it's just maybe to say the thing, but more about make fun of the people that are telling you what you can say and what you can say. And then they go, oh, you have a problem with that you can't say this. And you're like, more so. Yeah, just have a problem with you now.

It feels like. So I think then that's kind of what happens with the blackface. It's like the blackface wouldn't be it would only be a comment, a comment on like the culture of you not being able to do it. Yeah.

Yeah. I think yeah. It makes sense. So there's no way to just like do a fucking pure blackface.

That's my point is for the blackface, purest. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

For the people who still really are wanting to really do is like for the art, dude, I'm in it for the right reasons. Mm. This has nothing to do with the energy. Like I just know dude like I just like doing character work and that's just what it is.

So like just like, can you back off a little bit? So there's no way you can pull that off. But Jamie can, either is him. For me it was him, Tom Green.

Oh yeah. And there was another show in Canada called The Buzz, which was a big one. And then there's probably like Ali G show and first came out. Those were my things.

You saw that more radio station called The Buzz. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah.

Do they have all the like, do they have people doing the classic radio stuff? This one wasn't so much that because this was the alternative rock station. So they actually hated that classic. They hated that morning.

So they hated that kind of stuff. Yeah. So they were like, it was, yeah, they were too cool for school. Exactly.

No, like I'll never use a sound effect gun to my mom's head. Oh, yeah. They rarely. Yeah, they rarely use that kind of stuff.

Yeah. That's I was my favorite one was when we used to tour a lot listening to the the small town ones where because all the rock stations kind of slowly turned into top 40 to some degree. Oh, for sure. And but they all sort of had the same vibe where I just there was a one that me and my friends used to always joke about this guy and he was kind of like, you know, we're the station, the place, whatever the bleep we want to.

Like we don't listen to those kind of that vibe. We listen to the rules and then it came back and he goes, all right. Now here's another one from Taylor Swift. Just thought, the artist, I don't know what Taylor Swift is falling upon hard times again.

Yeah. Hook up with another guy. Hit it, Taylor. I did one recently where I was.

I won't. All I remember is the guy's name was legitimately something like the animal or like a cliche, get some animal. But I guess now the dynamic is it's always like one of those guys and then like a black lady that would have been like a top 40 kind of thing. That's like the pairing.

It feels like now like an old school white like road dog DJ and then kind of like a RMB like black chick and they have like zero chemistry. And always, and but they're saying you're kind of like who's possibly listening to this? Right. A lot of people I guess still listen to the morning radial.

I was shocked every once in a while do press and it works. Yeah. I will sometimes go like, how do you guys hear about the show? You know, I mean, like if I'm like, and they did and then so I'd be like, I start like I heard you're on the radio this morning.

I'm like, worked. Yeah. That almost bothers you because when that happens, you go, like I was hoping it was no one. Right.

And then you're like, oh, I guess I got to go do more of those. Yeah. Yeah. It's actually effective.

Oh, okay. Let's get back to it. Yeah. That's the idea is you go.

Then I would have loved for the experiment for me to now go tell managers and just go do morning radio. I know, you know, I've run the experiment. Yeah. What would you say is one of the like one of the because you do a lot of characters and you've done a lot of characters over the years and sketches and stuff like that.

What would you say what a character that has gotten the most like response where people are like, I don't know, like, I don't necessarily think negative response, but spark the most conversation out of characters you've done. I feel like I don't want to take credit like being a character guy because the truth is I'm not like I kind of do like you seem like a guy that actually can do care because I even saw some of the videos you were doing with the Josh and stuff like that. And you get I actually just I feel like there's two types of people, people that can do like voices and characters and actually get into characters. And then I feel like I can write for characters, but all my characters are me in a different hat with the same voice.

So we have a very distinct voice. Yeah. But even the way I talk, so you know, I like even like Tim and Eric and shows like that, like they were just putting a different hat on and yeah. So I don't actually do any characters to be honest.

I just put on a wig and a hat and change nothing. Change the words. I love for you. It's a character workshop.

We're like, welcome guys. This is how we're going to do it. You don't need to change your voice. You don't need to change anything, but we do have wigs here.

Yeah. If I'm a hockey player, it would be like, you know, and I'm a hockey player. And if I was, it's like the school teacher now and this is the impression by saying like, like, I don't know. Yeah.

Yeah. I'll do this is how I do. I go, I'm a skateboarder and I'll switch this over to now. I'm a guy that works at the chicken place of the mall.

Simple as that. Maybe that shift. And then we're going to switch it over to I'm a bus driver. So just driving the bus here.

Every I do think about it. It's like, you know, that thing where it's like how many characters, how many movies are TV shows of Norm and Donald bin and where he played the same. Or Sandler, anyone. I put myself more in that category where it's like, I put on a different hat and then change nothing.

Gotcha. But I feel like I'm fairly good at like writing cultures. Sure. So I feel like I write like I've done a lot of like I was making all these videos about band culture.

They were going viral and then I was doing stuff about like Toronto culture where I was kind of doing like chefs and like bartenders and and now I've been doing a lot of New New York stuff and then kind of political culture stuff. But all of the guys the same, but I feel like I'm able to maybe hit on the pulses where I'm like, oh, that is that guy, but not my way that I act. I like some of your, your man on the street stuff too, where like you're just asking an old guy who is six, seven feet away from his wife, like about his gay experiences. And you're trying to like get him to say like either he is gay or like, or they like he's had something and then you're like, well, of course you're not going to say anything to me.

You're right. Right. There. Like I love all that kind of stuff.

Like, yeah, kind of pushing those buttons and like, like making people like kind of uncomfortable and public is just always so funny to me. Me too. There's there's something about when you find the right question or really is like you kind of you're like an improv guy to some degree. Yeah.

Yeah. When you find the right, I guess game was someone that essentially they lose no matter what. Oh, yeah. And you are playing a thousand percent control.

Yeah. Whatever they say at that point, you're like, you're playing right into everything that I'm saying. Yeah. Like what you just said, if you're going someone, you're like, obviously you're not going to tell me or gave your wife's ear, but like between me and you.

But between like, and then so it's like, if they say no, it's because their wife's there. Right. Right. If it was safety net around everything.

Yeah. And if they're like, dude, I'm not going to talk about this right now and you go, I know I would not either. She's right here. We'll talk about something else.

And then you pretend just a couple of straight guys. Yeah. And then you go, I'm just gay and you go, yeah. Yeah.

Okay. That's what we wanted. Okay. Cool.

That's a sound bite. Thanks so much. And then you go over to the wife. Be like, how do you feel about this?

Like playing along with it? You're just said that he's gay. Your thoughts. Yeah.

Yeah. It's just no winning. Yeah. Those are the ones where I think that's another part of knowing how the edit works is because you're sort of like fiddling around with all these little things.

And then as soon as you find one, you kind of need to know how the editing is going to work too. And then you kind of like you click into like what that you're like, Oh, here's our moment. Have you gone through like a like trial and air phase with some other editors in the past? I had all my stuff.

I'm trying to find people that are good enough to get it to, you know, 90%. Yeah, right. But you always do that last polish. Yeah.

And a lot of times I do the, you know, run throughs with them at first, but the only editors. So I found two or three editors that are really good enough to like put together those kind of like videos that are all very like music based and editing is a big component of it. Right. And for the most part, those editors were all like very successful, you know, youtubers on their own merit or whatever.

Right. Yeah. So finding someone that is an editor that like wants to work full time for someone and all that stuff. That's the difficult part.

But you find the right person that's young enough and there's, you know, you can make it worth it enough for them. I think the best case scenario is you, you have to spend more time writing. Like, you know, when you're writing sketches, you can write it where you go. We'll figure this out a bit or you can write it where you go.

No, you'll figure it out now in your script. Oh, yeah. I've, you know, in the past, for sure made a mistake of like, well, like riff and ending. No, riffing dude.

I don't believe in improv and sketches. Oh, interesting. No, so I have a there's an old editing saying that I listened to and it was like, I can't remember who said it. I think it was might have been one of the headers.

I call it humor back in the day, but he said that, um, uh, fades are for Pussies that don't know how to cut. Oh, and I always, I do kind of think that improv is for Pussies that don't know how to write. Whoa, freaking bars, dude. But so that doesn't mean so I also, if you're doing like documentary style, I'll do very much where it's like, hey, we're going to do, I know all these, I know all the lines were saying, but we'll figure it.

But I might rearrange how it's going. Yeah. Or I can actually edit it in my script where I'm like, no, here's the first line. Here's the, like, you know, for real.

And I think that is a thing to do if you are trying to toss off editing someone. Right. Pick the music beforehand, even sometimes, you know, you can do all that sort of stuff. So there's a lot of that component that makes sense.

Yeah, you can help get it to that. Uh, but here's another thing that I say with, if I'm doing scripts to, uh, to, uh, if I'm giving scripts to people that are fun, that are funny that you're working with, I'll say you're allowed to, uh, um, come up with any lines you want, but you have to give them to me before we start shooting and they have to be shorter than the original line. Oh, same thing. Cause most times people either make it longer or reason.

Yeah. Most people make it longer and they give you something that, uh, changed the point. So you're kind of like, and the much, I find the 90% of people's, uh, especially people that don't write and do a lot of sketch, what the, what the bit they give you is almost like a break in the fourth wall, he's sort of thing. That's what, yeah.

Where people will always sort of make it like longer and funnier and where it's like actually staying in the bit is funnier in the reality of things. Sure. So they sort of make what would be make people laugh at the time. So I find most people think.

So that's why I feel like that helps to say that the point has to be the same. Cause as soon as they, if you're going to do something that might seem funnier at the time, but it will actually seem less funny in the edit. They'll change the point. You're cracking up the crew or whatever at the moment.

But when you get back to the edit, you're like, Oh, this was just funny day up. This isn't translating. And it actually kind of took away from all the other lines too, because you kind of didn't have the guts to like commit to the point you're trying to make. Right.

Yeah. So that end of shortness, because always there's like a, a rhythm to the thing and then other people that don't know your rhythm, they'll make something that kind of like takes too long and gets off rhythm. So it's like, as long as it's shorter, we can fill up space. But if it's longer, you're going to get off top.

And he was like, I can do that once or twice in the sketch, but it's like, if you have two ideas and they're both like the moments where the sketch like gets off rhythm. It's like, well, we're kind of tying our hands here. Did you ever do like, like film competitions or anything like that back in Canada? No, cause I was, I was, I was like, into making videos and DVDs and all that stuff.

But really, I was into being in a band. Right. So this was like this thing that we also did. Like our band was releasing DVDs and all that sort of stuff.

So were you shooting the content for the DVDs and stuff like that? Yeah. Yeah. We're just like straight up like Travelmaker kids making like what we saw as like Jacks Tom Green says.

Crazy show you've ever done. The live show. Yeah, with your band. Oh, with the band.

We did like an arena tour before with people. Yeah. But we did our band probably in our peak. We were doing like a thousand people around.

That's amazing. But we used to do pretty well, dude. It would be up your alley. We did like we would do costumes.

So in a show, we would do like three costume changes. I mean, I love that. Yeah. I love that.

So we'd start normal and then we'd come out and like superheroes and then we'd have like a drum soul and then someone leave and then some people would come back with different. We were doing all that sort of stuff and we had like dancers and like all sorts of weird as shit. So there was a while where we were getting pretty weird. We had a pyro on the drums and shit like that.

I was getting pretty into all that wild stuff. The pyro on the drum. I love all that stuff. I want to get back to it.

I'm all about. Have you ever thought of infusing that like when like on a special down down the road or anything? Yeah. Like doing some pyro and different like cool stuff is getting up to some interesting stuff.

Oh, man. Whoever his editor is is a cool little team. He's got a great team. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. The pyro and like some of like the variety aspect that he's doing. I know is really cool.

Well, there was something to be said about. So I was up until the pandemic. I was doing like releasing an hour, you know, not our 45 minutes, 50 minutes every maybe year and a half year. But if you once you're touring after that, there is some you said about it was like, what do you do once you read immediately, right?

So I think there is something to be said about if you're going to be releasing hours pretty frequently, other than the two right before doing a tour where you're kind of like doing some other stuff. People like it and then you're doing actual 20 to 30 minutes of stand up. Might be like a fun way to kind of be touring in those spots too. So I've been thinking about it.

But then I go back and forth where you go spot part of me is like, this is sick and then a part of me is like fuck off. Just do stand up like stop. That's not I feel like that's the New York LA thing where I go. Each person needs a bit of the other where New York's probably closer to Toronto.

Everyone's like too cool for everything. Right? Like it's like trying is, you know, like everyone's too cool for me. Or Schultz being from New York.

He's probably one of the most LA guys. Very I mean, as far as like approach with the theatrics and just like just the way he just puts on a show is very much more like. And he's not afraid to try. Exactly.

Which is a big difference between I feel like when people like label the club and all scenes, like I've done some shows, literally in certain parts of LA where I wasn't doing well with the crowd because I was trying. Does that make sense? Yeah, I do. Like I was committing I was going all out with act as I was like interesting.

OK. Yeah. Like they're like, this is like too much for this crowd. They literally just want somebody to like muse on like little like perspectives on the current events or something like that.

Because it's deconstruction list and then you're actually doing it, right? Yeah. Like a lot of those scenes, the whole gimmick is you're like make like you're like as if we're actually doing like you're making fun of it. Right.

So as soon as someone's you're making fun of comedy and someone's like, no, I'm just actually doing comedy. And they're like, what are you fucking what can a loser actually do? What can a loser does this for real? Yeah.

I mean, sure we're at the venue on a comedy show that we promoted pretty hard. Yeah. But nobody paid for the ticket. You know, it's like what isn't the end goal to go out there and do the thing?

No, I kind of, but I do have both of those like in the way I always try to have cool socks. These are sushi's. Dude, what? Those are fire.

I was thinking that that was me being very LA when I was I was thinking that I need to start like a stock line. That'd be cool. You guys have my lives today, bro. Yeah.

I mean, I think I have both to be honest words and I go back and forth on myself where sometimes I get very and even on whether that be like the way I'm editing, whether that be the way that stuff. I'm writing the stuff I'm doing on stage or even how you like run a business. I often I go back and forth between like which of those two is the more like authentic me? I'm like, fuck am I?

Is this like my fucking B into like LA where I'm just like pretending to try to? I don't know. Or am I actually the other person? I think you have both of them in you.

Oh, for sure. I like I I get inspired when like when we were just a skank fest and you see comics who do things that are that they that's their thing and that's not your thing. I always inspired because I'm like, wow, they're so good at that. And I could I could work on that element in my act.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like I watched something like Mike Vachione do some sets so funny. He has so many jokes per minute.

And that's just a different it's a different kind of pacing and musicality with the way you write and something that he does have a very like specific musicality to his thing. It's contagious. Yeah. Honest.

And once people are in it though, they're freaking by being in it though. It's a hard act to follow because you're like, oh, I got to reset this to a completely different palette for you have to have to. Yeah. Yeah.

No, there's it is interesting when people are all like in the pocket doing their thing like what skank this was and there was that's what I was kind of. We were having a lot of weird stuff in this conversation because it is very sometimes even like. When people are talking about like let's say I was doing Dave's thing and everyone's talking about pre serious cultural stuff, right? And then sometimes you're kind of like, yeah, whatever.