You performed recently for Patrick Mahomes, right? In the main room? I did, yeah. How was that?
Patrick Mahomes and Kelsey. I met Kelsey. Santino was nice enough to introduce me to Kelsey after Santino got off stage. And then I saw the picture that you posted with Mahomes and Kelsey.
Oh, yeah, yeah, it was cool. Yeah, it was real cool. But let's just know that people, and even last night we were, or the other night we were, I performed in front of like my garden in flames. Yeah, I saw that they were there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was also cool. I guess they were for surprise that I knew they were. You know?
Right, right. And they're literally one of like three metal bands that I like. Who were the other two? Pantera.
And I wouldn't consider Al some chains metal as more like grunge. But Pantera. Slayer, a little Slayer. Really?
Some Slayer stuff. Yeah, yeah. Interesting. Yeah.
Cool. But I'm not into metal. What's like a go-to karaoke song that you might sing? Oh, my go-to is Kiss, my Prince.
Oh, OK. Yeah, go Kiss Prince. If I get a second song, I go 99 problems. OK.
And if I get a third song, I go friends in low places. Ooh. Yeah. You got some curve balls.
Oh, yeah. I'll throw them at you, man. I like that. I bet the bar goes crazy when you go friends in low places.
Depends on the bar. True. Definitely depends on the bar. True.
But I can read the room. I've never done it in a bar where they didn't go crazy. Yeah. I mean, you're like, I'm not buzzing that out for no reason.
Yeah. Because the thing is, me being the Black Dude on the mic, the 99 problems further pushes them into assuming. Like, it makes the no friends in low places even more surprised. Right.
So it pops even harder. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.
And the thing is, even if you don't know that song, it's very easy to pick up on it. Oh, yeah. Just how melodic it is. And if you're with your friends, it's even better.
Yeah. Yeah. And if you're with your friends and that song starts, you have to like it. Is that one of the songs that you would say is one of the songs on the soundtrack to your life?
Friends of the places. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I mean, I don't listen to it on my own.
Right. But when I hear it, it does remind me of a time. Yeah. Yeah.
I did. I was on the road. And we went to after a show. You know when you post show adrenaline and you're like, yeah, I'll go out.
Like, I'll go to something. But then it like fades real quick. Yeah. No, essentially.
And they're like, this is like peak of COVID. And they're like, I was in Texas though. And they're like, yeah, we're doing karaoke. I was like, all right, I guess I'll go, whatever.
And I went and it was a private karaoke room. It was like in. Oh, like Japan style. Oh, yeah.
And there was literally like 20 people in this room. And I literally walked in. I walked out. I was like, yeah, this ain't.
I'm like, I'm an Uber back. I'm like, what is that? I'm like, I'm sorry, guys. I'm like, I'm like, happy birthday.
Oh, this is fans. It was audience people. It was like friends of a comedian. Oh, yeah.
So they're like, it's going to be fun. And then we went there like, this isn't what I pictured at all. I pictured like a big open space, just a bar, not like a private karaoke room. Right.
It was like a bunch of strangers who were all wasted. I was like, yeah, I'm about. That's a good thing about like being an adult is like knowing like what your comfort level is and being like, no, I'm cool with calling it a quits now. It's like somehow never forget this burn in my brain.
My mother always say I'm too old to be saying yes when I mean no. And like I'm OK, we should do that. You know, and whenever I mean that situation, I hear a voice saying it. I was like, you know what?
I'm going about. You know, like, is it your mom said that her voice played in my head right? Oh, yeah. My mom just said, oh, she still says it.
No, I'm too old to be like, OK, we should. My wife tells me that I'm slowly as I get older, turning into Larry David. So I'm just vocal about what I'm not feeling and what I am feeling. You've seen it enough.
It's like, listen, I know I'm older than Mel. I know better. Like if I'm not going to go into a situation, I'm never going to go into a situation where I'm not on the same drugs as you to the same level as you. Like the group of people that's all wasted and I've had like a beer, I'm not going to hang out with you.
Yeah. You know, or these people are all on mushrooms, you know, and I'm just like, we're on different trips. So it's like, you're not going to have a good time. You don't feel like outside of it.
You won't peek at different times for different reasons. It's like, it's not worth it. Come on, Ryan, come here. I'm going to keep this man.
I'll be back. We're going to get a few mushrooms. I know you're just like, off and down. I'm going to let it go on your right.
Come on. Come on. Come on. This is fun, triple this.
What do you mean? It's always worth it, Ryan. I said. You know it's worth it.
It's your own goal. I am working. I'm not cooking. I'm actually cooking.
But yeah. I'm not cooking. I'm not cooking. I said, ask if you're going to be chill.
You're a hero. Yeah. Listen, I just want to be chill, right? I want to be kind of bad drinks.
I'm bad. Hey, this isn't it. I'm just changing the color of this griddle. Yeah.
Listen, it's a toss of those, man. I mean, okay. I'm going to be creative with you if you want to collaborate. Oh, yes, it's not.
Yeah. It's because I hope that the world is not going to be competitive. I'd rather not do that because I'm going to be hit through the vibes right now. Oh, okay vibes.
Yeah. Let's go to Vegas. Let's drive. Vegas is a lot of lights.
I kind of just want to hang through the dead. I'm not going to be as certain looking stars, man. Okay. Well, listen to me.
We all want to learn a vision, right? Oh, yeah. You see this? You visualize things?
They don't like that. Because I'll be a dirty trick, guys. That's kind of like me. That's your thing.
Yeah. Like you can divide it. What? You can divide it.
You can divide it. You can divide it. Watch it. Yeah.
With your heart forward. Yeah. I think you should comment on that. This is PCP.
Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad you said about your problem. You have to jump in off the road.
I'm just going to let you go. All right. You want to leave some cars real quick? There's a little punch through that journey.
Where's my wallet? Whoa! Whoa! We need to take a look at any notes of dining.
That's another bar here. Oh, that's what it is. That's another bar here. Please, please.
I want to please. I'm going to leave off of it. I don't know, man. I'm just in the two of these cars.
I'm going to go quick. Oh. What? What?
What? I'm sorry. This is ketamine. I'm not sure what I'm doing here.
There's one call me. If you want to roll with me. This is not what I'm going to do. Am I here?
I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. You're watching me watching you like that.
Is this something before you? No, I do. This is gone off the rails. That's what I'm doing here.
This is going off the rails. This is going off the rails. How can you change my voice? What?
You have a deep, and? You have a deep, and? Whoa! Oh, this is mine.
Wow. I'm going to leave it a pound. Why you f***ing dead, Molly. Wow.
Shit, this summer. Oh, yeah. I can't wait to have the festival set down. I'm talking about mine.
Well, usually you don't want to write me. Well, because, yeah, it's passing out a series of people who have a lot of old names. Come on, all night long, Molly. What are we?
I'm going to write a name. I'm going to write a name. I'm going to write a name. I'm going to write a name.
I'm going to write a name. I'm going to write a name. I'm going to write a name. I'm going to write a name.
I'm going to write a name. I'm going to write a name. I'm going to do it! You've arrived!
Don't deceive. Don't you think I'm the apocalypse? I need this voice. I say no no no no no.
Wow. I forgot even though... You can really say. Stop this.
The joyous music is... It's... This is a funny mistake, boys. Okay.
I'll leave the big voice alone. Who's the amount of aerospace? No, it's not. So we're doing the same part for Jreno.
Oh, shit. Who's this? This is Jreno. Oh, wow.
Dude, yeah, man. I have an hour time. I'm not trying to hide the peach boys man they fucking just joined me away and then they just played joy for music and what they kept writing kids. Yeah, yeah.
I don't know how you just said I'm about to know the kids were more effective than holy water I guess. Yeah. Blimes the big guy keep a sign of the need of the joyful musicians with hits. I mean he wants to take people down so they're in a lower state of being so they start watching down here.
You think it's about an easy like Britney Spears you know him. I mean those are the easy options for sure. Pretty easy. I'm like a real fucking clown.
Just a little boost to my career. Yeah we haven't had a good one here in the world. No, it's been a little bit right. Well I try to you know what I think I'm just going to be another kind of demon man.
Maybe I still like drug abuse. I'll just maybe I'll transfer to my crisis. You know I'm just transferred to like a wife beaters or people who like stealing from work. Yeah, something easy.
Some love to you. One thing at a time. Yeah. Yeah.
You know. Oh yeah. Domestic violence here. I might go down as the worst guest.
What are you talking about? Brian Simpson ladies and gentlemen. The master of impromptu. Because you make me nervous.
I'm not on your level with this. The characters and off the cuff. You do great man. We just literally ripped for I don't even know how long.
No I'm not. You know what it is like I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm What does that mean because I am a street fighter fan. Wait, wait, I'm I'm Good at everything but I'm not great. You know like I'm not like I can do all the things well in comedy that's what you're saying.
Right, right? Interesting. Okay. Okay.
You're okay. I said you are saying that your stats are like a solid video game. Okay. So like your your h.p.
Your, your, you know your punch your kick your meter is all leveled up to. Okay, I feel you rather than like some people let's say like a one-liner comedian. I feel like that's a that's a special move person Right like a crowd work person. Yeah, it's like if that's like only your thing.
That's like, you know Yeah, crowd work crowd work people like like Chun Li Did you know that That Toyota and Honda were in a bidding war to have the he Honda be named one of them what he was almost an opposition see I just that's what I'm the king of all the dash. You got to do that on stage. That sounds like a true thing, right? It's a dude in the 80s and 90s come on.
Oh, yeah Yeah, cuz you know like what I don't know big where you from Kansas Kansas, okay? So in Kansas did y'all do this in school where people would they try to get you to look somewhere and if you look they'd Got your neck and it popped a back in that. Oh, no Cut the back in that and like rip their hand off. Ooh, we did and it was so annoying.
It was a it was the shirt thing Hey, you got some on your shirt soon as you look down poop. Oh, I freaking as a big nose guy Freaking hated that. Yeah, you know, you know, I learned about princess like that What if you don't want to just participate in pranks you have to completely overreact to the first time at you? Peddi is prank you gotta be like, yo, I will burn your fucking house.
Oh, I will fight everybody here Oh, you move my chair. I will fight everybody here. That's a good point because no one wants to prank Okay, if you're if you're gonna run and cry they'll prank you more but if you're gonna be furious No one even wants to deal with that. They'll just leave you guys.
It's not funny anymore. Right. It's not fun Yeah, it really does take the fun out of it Because he because he's a thing is no, are you a pranker? I'm not I'm not a pranker because I don't like being pranked because It's only because I don't enjoy the prank, but I don't trust most people to know when to stop Because most people don't know when to stop because because the average person like as comedians we figure out eventually Where that kind of invisible line is that we can tip toe over and go back?
We have a general idea right the average everyday person Usually does not know where that line is at all. It's like well I'll tell you the one of the obvious lines is it's not funny if I was if you actually put me in any kind of danger It's funny if I think I'm in danger and I'm really not right because the relief is the release But if you actually it's like some people to be like I got your breaks I just have a cousin that would do that shit What he'd be like like we'd be chilling on a roof or something throwing a roof and he would like run up and like push you off The edge would like hold you from falling and then totally didn't probably still to this day doesn't understand why that's not fun Right, he's like I was pranking I'm gonna drop you Chance that you just doing that will actually kill me right right that's my problem with a lot of those those prank shows I don't know if you've ever seen those videos of prank shows in South America or overseas or anything like that Oh, so the main difference between the show and Between like American prank shows and these is the American prank shows always show the people Laughing at the end because it got pranked and that's what makes it light and fun because they're in on the joke Right, right in these prank shows in South America and overseas sometimes they go so hard on the paint where It's like a clown with a mallet in a parking lot falling people or like a chainsaw people are running for their lives and guess what? They never get the reaction of the people that is like we got you there's this like nope. We just terrified people That's fuck.
I mean the catch up on this is if you look on YouTube They are so much more brutal than American prank shows like they go so yeah Well, I was a guy so lame at the like staged now people like stage prank dude There's so much stuff that stayed like I used to work in morning radio and you'll be blown away Like the average person would be blown away. How much stuff is set up in morning radio? Well, you know what though, but I kind of understand that because well, I guess now I guess now I'm gonna hypocrite No, no because you know what I kind of understand it because morning radio is live and The pressure to be entertaining for like four five hours a lot every day. They need stuff in the back Yeah, they got you got to have some you got to have some guaranteed stuff in there You have to guarantee that but but to have like a social media account where you know You can capture videos and edit things and wait for moments and yeah, you know some of this stuff It's like it's just I don't know It's not it's because now it's at a point where everyone is so I forget what the word is everyone so doesn't trust it that That every single thing that's good.
There's someone right underneath the going. This is like right away I know even they smash away just a five minute to me be like oh my god. That's also to up to my god It's fake. Yeah, I mean you look at the game.
No, yeah, it's fine. Well, I mean almost all the world star hip-hop Like prank type videos are all super fake. I mean a world star hip-hop before ever I almost need to stop following it on Instagram because I watch so many videos randomly then I'm like oh, what's this interesting? I remember the last there was a couple that got famous on YouTube early before people started thinking it was fake And they would prank each other back and forth and it was one man where I think I don't know if it was him or her I want to say it was him, but he smeared butter on the bathroom floor wash him's in the shower Or it might have been it might have been heard of him But one of them put butter on the floor when the other was in the shower Yeah, and they stepped out the shower and they hit the floor so hard and like I was like There's no fucking way that's fake or maybe they staged it, but he hit that floor You know saying that that wasn't though.
He's not a stunt man. He hit that floor hard Did you see the clip that do you know the comedian Heather McDonald? Do you know her? Yeah, did you see the clip that she posted about her on stage passing out?
No, bro. It's insane She fractured her skull on stage to a sold-out tempeh crowd. Did she fall off the stage? No?
No, she's okay. She's okay. She's good now, but like she was joking about with just more I thought I saw the clip of it so she's good But she literally is bragging about how in her bit how she's like like didn't like she's vax like doesn't have covid All this stuff and she passed out from I have no idea like like what she didn't say what I Like I didn't like get far enough like I think they probably explained it in the episode like she passed out from something I don't know if it was from a booster shot or what but she probably locked on her knees I did that she didn't boot camp. Oh, you did the thing like they always told us to when I was inquire back in the day They're like do not lock your knees you will pass out spread them out It's true though and they and I speak to us over and over and I was I was the only fucking dude in the whole company that did it in the whole Did you do it?
You didn't do it ironically or anything. Did you know I was just standing there? So you just happen to be standing and like it just because because the urge because the thing is they don't want you to lock out Your knees but you do got to stand there straight So it's a thin line where you got a you basically got to lock them and then Unease them just enough where they don't look that you know I just a day that I just wasn't paying attention. I wasn't you got to think about it every time Yeah, what a flaw in the human engineering.
That's a strange one if you lock out your knees your fucking fall. Yeah, that's crazy Yeah, I remember just I remember just waking up being like why is everybody standing on top? I was just standing there and then making you know everyone standing over top me like geez were you embarrassed when you when you came to Oh, I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed.
How old were you in this happen? I was 18. Oh, height of embarrassment I'm embarrassed and at that time because it's like it's one of those things where if you could got seriously hurt They don't know it's wrong to you head on the floor And so the drill instructor people they're like they're mean to you 100% of the time and they can't really You know cuz you fucked up because you didn't follow orders right? That's so what happened to you your fault, but they still have to make sure you're okay, so they can't be Followed weird.
Yeah, yes, and they're gonna hold a grudge about that. Oh, you may be soft in front of the platoon So it's the moment the moment the doctor says you're okay. I'm gonna fuck your shit. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, I was so I woke up and you know It only took a few seconds to realize what happened and I was like oh god damn it.
Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no Yeah, this is gonna be personal. Yeah, I'm just gonna be personal.
Did that officer punish you after the fact? Oh, hell yeah What do you do every chance he got well? The next time I saw him so we did it was time for a first aid yeah training or whatever and he He made me he made me run so the our little utility closet was maybe like I don't know 150 feet away from where So I whole squad was probably maybe 300 feet long. Yeah, and my shit was in the middle.
He was like hey go to the utility closet and get the practice dummy what I mean this thing weighs like I know 150 pounds It's a big rubber doll that shaped like a person it weighs 150 pounds and it's designed to be heavy enough So you can practice carrying a person on all that shit and he may be gonna get it and bring it to him all We don't know the side so I got it I ran back to him and he was like that's not the right one like take it back and I ran back another trip I understand on the other side. He's like he's like motherfucker. I told you take this over there to him He's like he says not the right one. Oh, you fucking talk about me No, sir, and so they both kept playing a game because they're legally not allowed They're not allowed to haze you alone.
Oh, they either got to do what you're doing or have everybody doing it But they can't pick because it's hey, okay, so you know, yeah, right But technically they weren't hazing me because they were just telling me to help set up for the class You know how bad things had to get before that was implemented. Oh, yeah people died. Yeah Yeah, that's why that's funny to me when people talk about this generation soft is like every generation soft You know, it was like every other way the only military and well, we're not only one but most military in the world They have an acceptable number of training deaths. Yeah, it's just here.
It just recently got to be zero But it hasn't always been zero. You know what each generation to me is kind of like we're talking about it getting softer and softer like Just visually what does that something like wrote a check like a hard check? Okay, I remember okay on on When you write a check back in the day There would be a proof on the other side of it. Oh, yeah, yeah, like a carbon copy exactly Every generation is like a thinner carbon copy of that original signature exactly you know, I mean It's like so we're slowly like oh are we even the same thing that we used to be no because you know why because it's like I hate When I hear old people complaining because I do it too They complain about how the kids have it so easy when they're the ones that made it easy You know, we're the ones that we're the ones that making the world better because because you know Did you want to make a world better when you think you're not gonna die?
I'll tell you what your mind is goddamn children. They don't know anything about what you should be like It used to be so different used to be so different used to be so different that we we knew less when we knew less and just thought more Yeah, we knew less and we were more sure of ourselves Now there's 45 genders 45 there's 45 gingers. I don't know me. There's 45 genders.
I remember when they're just to no No, no, let me tell you something. These children out here. They make them. They want to name themselves What do you mean they want to name they sell the lady the ladies they don't they going down the mystical they get They get they get fat taken out some part about and put in their booties.
You're saying oh, yeah, they give me booties Well, I you know My cousin my cousin Geraldine she invented the booty shot. She invented the booty shot back two weeks later I've generation didn't get the enjoy the booty shot She worked on the whole life that and then he kids the kid they don't appreciate the booty shots They think they think they think they think they always been around back in our time if a woman had a But that ran into her back. It was still class It was if you saw the tailbone of a woman when she bent over then that was still fine looking A woman of all a woman of all she a woman of gourd doesn't get enough attention Well, they call him these big beautiful women and it's like just call him gourds Just call these it's called these big ladies what these fat zones. There's gone gourds.
You know gorgeous I think that's the other women they call you gorgeous because you're fat and you gorge yourself I like a fat woman, but you can't even say that kind of general you can't say I like fat women anymore That's not PC even though I'm being complimentary of these fatties. You can't even say I like real women Yeah, what is that? Yeah, I don't even know the kid because that is offensive. Yeah, I don't even know what that mean If the needle fence was a tetrafence without Vietnam.
Yeah, I walk outside and people get offended just by me being a white guy Really? Yeah, well, you know, all right. I get that one People get upset that I'm just a white guy walking around in America. Do you understand that?
Well? Yeah, cuz that used to that's been got my whole life People get upset. It's how you look. We just got a switch and rolls.
I guess that's interesting Yeah, wait a second now. I'm kind of walking a mile in your shoes What were you gonna say how could you rip it? How could you rip it this without going there? It's like a bad day you could own people that was the American dream That wasn't my dream.
I think I was like brushing away. I don't know what you're talking about. That wasn't my dream. Oh Anyway, yeah No, wow these wigs are warm.
Yeah, we take them off. We take off for sure He's got that warm week my wigs high baby wigs too hot I was I wasn't here with the whole time when we're like when no why does everyone else get a wig? Oh, I had a wig planned for it You naturally went into talking about old people's like perfect I just find a moment and sometimes I'll set up like hey We're about to do wigs a more presentational, but if somebody starts talking about something that I already have wigs like set up for us I'm like to grab a wig for you, baby We have a week for that is this like this like comedian's in coffee where you you you you have you try to match the wig to the Comedians personality also, I hadn't I haven't used like I haven't done like these like use old character wigs on the show For a long time. Sometimes it's funny to do like like like long like female wigs or like different color I hadn't used these gray-haired wigs in a long time and I was like, oh, that'll be fun.
Just be old people There's just there's just a piece of a tuft of black hair in here Oh, no, that is actually what the wig comes in it goes it surrounds the wig black hair. That's not black hair Oh, right you're right. It's the net. I just took off of it.
Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah Thanks for ruining my fun Keeps black here Here total girl like this a tough from from each victim. Yeah, yeah Everyone who's well that week has donated hair to the bag anytime I find a tuft of hair in a man's apartment Just to something that there's well anytime.
There is a tuft of hair anywhere. Mm-hmm be scared. Yeah Toughed I mean, what are you doing? I tried to make this I try to make it work on stage, but it won't But I was trying to relate like how scary it is For a black man to find a blonde hair that he can't identify That's really that's a really funny premise though.
Yeah, but I couldn't make it work But it's like yeah, you find it was just happening to me when I try to talk about it on stage It wasn't working. It was like I found this blonde hair and I was like who's fucking here is this? That's funny. There's been no blonde people here, right?
And and then my master's going like this girl could be murdered somewhere right this hair is in my house Yeah, I have no idea how we got here and no one's gonna believe me. Yeah. Yeah, yeah You know, maybe there's a trail of it leading to our apartment. I Tried to make a bit work forever go.
There was just in the same universe of that like because I felt bad about this is um, I signed a girls boob on the road years ago, and I told my wife about it I was like I kind of got peer pressured into it. There's like a line of people. I didn't really want to do it And I did it. I'm sorry, you know, like I don't you know, I don't want to be that guy No, she's fine.
No, she's fine. No, I'm just kidding. No, that's a Low-hanging fruit ladies. I still it still was okay.
It was still low enough where it still was I didn't see it over that But yeah, the bit that I was trying to make funny was I was worried that that girl was gonna be murdered later that night and Signature's gonna be on the titty right here. I understood this. I don't want to sit beside my titty thing I don't get it because what'll happen this happened a couple times now, which is still mind-blowing me everyone's Somebody will ask is only happening a couple times, but like we did a scissor was live and they had Steve and I do scissors on their Arm they're like I'm gonna get a tattoo this after you guys draw it. Oh, wow.
Well, see what I understand that right? But the titty is like what are you have to wash that off later, right? And it's like it's got to not be easy to get off permanent marker on the titty Yeah, and then what's the appeal to having that there and on graphs aren't going for much even if they're on paper No, but I only got ever heard of anyone getting rich from selling an old graph. No matter who's it is No, unless they signed something else that is valuable.
Yes, the autograph makes it more valuable people Just but you just sign on somebody's titty is completely Nothing. Yeah, like especially I don't know that that feels like that's what they call the wash of shame is the next day Just looking in the mirror and just like You confuse them Do do that we ask for signatures like that on their bodies. No, I mean the funniest interpretation that I've ever seen in a movie was pop star The Andy Samberg loan the island film they did this thing where they were pop stars They were so famous that a dude was like son my dick and he rolled down the window and he signed a dude's dick in the movie And it was like the funniest like interpretation that ever like I'm like what this is the most random Yeah, I want to something like that was like imagine like you're the pop star and but your thing your thing is like stabbing people and people are Running you you're my stabby I'm bleeding out. We're really connected now people really people really go hard like that though So I mean I mean We man for years said that he would ask people and I think a lot of that jackass crew would ask a Strangers was asking him to kick them in the nuts That's insane.
Yep And like video they wanted the video of being kicked in the nuts by one of the jackass guys and that to me I'm like like I'm like I'm a big fan of all that but I mean I'm not doing nothing that's gonna do permanent damage I remember I was just actually got a bit out of this. I remember you know my I remember that my first I'm just an unlucky person on my first like five blowjobs were awful And I started thinking that blowjobs were just things that dudes talked about that weren't really dope Like going to the club, you know, we're like everyone always goes oh, it was awesome You should have been there and then when you go no one's dancing And then one day I had a girlfriend that was Basically, uh, wow no change from the very wife. It's about real voice. Um, everybody and one day I had a girlfriend that was like insistent on it She was a she like basically was like it was like we would fight about it all the time and then one day I was like fine.
Fuck it. Go for it. Fuck it And still to this day most powerful blowjob ever like life all world changing world shad And that's when I realized that people that are people that love sucking dick are usually great at it You know, I know that I never I never want to blowjob that I have to convince someone to give But anyone begging just like my dick. I'm gonna give you a shot That's the end of my story And shout out, you know who you are.
I mean That is a real thing Uh, if you I mean, it's just like whatever you're passionate about you gotta you gotta you gotta realize that You know, some people like certain things other than than other people. Well, it's a skill. You know, what what I mean is There's no there's no girl. That's great.
It's like a dick that hates doing it That's interesting girls that love like like if someone loves sucking dick, they're gonna be good at it There's no one or yeah, they're both of those mean the kind of thing like someone that like hates doing it It's because either they're not gonna or they think they aren't I have a because I'm a married guy I feel like sometimes I get treated Like a gay best friend with when I hang out with girls. Oh, you know what I mean? Yeah, so one of my girlfriends was talking about how she loves sucking dick and I was like I'd never heard a girl like be that open about it That girl is great at it. Oh probably.
Yeah, I guarantee it. She literally was like, I love it I was like I was laughing. I was like, yeah, by the way, I've never heard any woman be this open about talking sex I don't care. It's like you know, it's like comedy.
It's the power. It's the control. No. No, she was like literally like I love She goes I know exactly when he's going to come and I love it I'm like whoa.
Yeah, she goes I love knowing that I can make him come in like this amount of time The other girls are like eel. Yeah, no, no, literally one of the other girls like in the conversation like you're so bad or whatever It's like that girl's probably not good. Yep. She's not Or at least she's not confident that she is right.
Yeah, right. Yeah, because there's a thing no one's gonna take the time to be good at it If they don't want to be doing it she literally like she had an analogy for sucking dick that was like the blue my mind She's like, you know, it's really like flying a plane and I was like oh my goodness Uh, okay continue. I guess he goes, you know, you go down there and that's like the takeoff She's like build she like she literally was like fantasizing about it and I was like, okay. Well.
Yeah, yeah, you're into this But that that seems like a weird analogy because like when the plane lands, that's like basically when the guy is She's like the pilot and control the plane and the plane is the dick. Wow. Yeah, she had a whole like analogy That was like oh you really you're about this life. Huh?
Oh, yeah, she thinks of classes probably She's probably one of those people. She's got a twitch channel Yeah, yeah, yep. She got a twitch. She got a twitch channel where she thought and gives you the basics.
All right now This is a cucumber. Right. Right. You know all this peanut bottle off it.
This is the swirl cycle and technique. Yeah, why do I keep Sipping it back to it because I don't know what's going on. I've addicted to caffeine. I don't know that's all good Well, Brian your podcast is launching back up bs with brian simpson.
That's me. You're a great follow on social media I can't tell you enough and uh any comedian That watches brian becomes a fan of his because the way you construct jokes and the way you execute them and just you're a good performer on top That too, so I can't rave about your stand up enough. I love your brother. Do you want to plug anything else before um?
Um, no watch me on season three Netflix. What is this gonna? Tomorrow? Oh, i'm on day.
Okay, so Season three season three the stand-up on Netflix and you're in a great. I mean a great company and great company And oh, yeah, it's mark norman jane el jane Naomi up care again. Um, miss avia señor and dusty sleigh Yeah, and um and and also just go click on my bs comedian on social medias Just click on my link my tours are coming up. I'm gonna be in a lot of places Go see this man on the road Yeah, he kills and is so fun to watch and keep checking back because the you know because there's some places I'm scared to be But they they haven't got the links and so sometimes the links ain't there yet But i'm coming all over the country.
I'm coming everywhere. There you go. Love you man. Thanks for being here.
Thank you brother