I want to this podcast can be full Greg. I'm gonna put a warning label on this podcast vegan is a person who eats more vegetables That's a dead moment. Hey, I'm actually gonna death. I might be in the best father soon.
Yeah, go on I've never been to a whatever Oh, they're all over Texas. Oh, oh my god. Everyone's like Did you just say you never had a one one? Yeah, I like that go yeah, you look like little treat over here Rob I like it on more Hey everyone comes to me live this weekend in La Hoya, California Then St.
Louis, Missouri then Syracuse, New York, then New York City, New York will bring Santa on the spot out there for the New York Comedy Festival get tickets at Jeremiah Watkins calm And I hope you've been enjoying the stand up on the spots that have been coming out in the Jeremiah Winter's feed We had a great episode today with Greg Stone. You guys are gonna love it. Let's get into it right here right now and look out for a New stand up on the spot next week in Fort Worth, Texas Welcome to the show. There's already craziness going on behind the scenes right now.
I'm here with my power Greg Stone in the house, baby Thanks for having a big dog. Of course That's the first time I've been called big dog unironically I feel like yeah, I mean you are a big dog. Okay. Thanks, man You have big dog energy really?
Yeah, nobody's ever told me that bro seriously no dude first of all without even getting started physically big You think I'm a big guy you are a big guy if you were glass of water. I'd have to take two sips Okay, yeah, you would go for real on the real on the real real my uncle Yeah, we call him uncle big dog really so the fact that you call me big dog was throwing me for a whole kind of death loop No, let me tell you this what runs in the family the big dog energy big dog DNA. Oh Yeah, man, you were a big ass dog. We also we all have we all have dogs do we are you cleaning?
You said we yeah, like you know like when we like start to get aroused the red comes out right? Yeah, because in this side usually red means stop but it when the big dog comes out when he's go, baby You married yeah big dogs kind of roll Dude I'm smashing wife all day long smash I dash and I come back cuz I'm married. I love her. Yeah, man Oh, yeah, I love you married.
I wine I dine then I don't dash what wind down Sorry, I'm gonna buy no no no no no no no no no no no apologies here I want you to be the full Greg full Greg. I want it this podcast is gonna be full Greg I'm gonna put a warning label on this podcast. You better. Yeah like the purge.
Yeah, you're 22 minutes You have to get full Greg. Why is this voice happening? I just who I am right now. Yeah, I'm a soulist Don't worry about it big dog I came out to that yeah as a dare from one of my buddies at a show recently Yeah, and it ate it so hard because I like was I getting into it right and like I had it I turned on the crowd I was like if you don't like that you're not gonna like what you're about to see Gun to this like if you don't like the silliness that I was just giving you all the top You might not like me for this next hour that we're together.
I hate these people right you got it who doesn't talk I'm in the crowd. Yeah, I stand up. I'm taking my shirt off. Oh, yeah, I'm grabbing grandma I'm dipping her and I'm going you thought we the dog we let the dogs out.
I'm doing my own rap to myself Dude, I'm in I like that in this scenario you brought your grandma to the show Cuz I was thinking in a big dog energy kind of way that you saw a grandma in the crowd you grab her Just don't make it out. You're gonna grab in the boobs stuff all the way down here, you know No, I grab my grandma. Okay cuz my grandma likes the party. Okay.
Yeah, Mary losing her shit. Is there grandma's name Mary? Yeah She died, but sorry to bring that man. Yeah, you know, I would bring her to the show.
She would love you My grandma's name was Bernice Bernice. Yeah, I don't know why stumbled on my grandma's name, but was you lying? No, no, my name is Bernice. Are you making up a story about a fake grandmother?
Listen man. Her name is Bernice. All right. Was it?
Yeah, I was Alright, man, I thought we would start off the podcast with like a truth like some kind of like trust, you know, okay Well, let's start off with the truth. All right, okay, truth or false. Okay, your phone's going off right now. I'm freaking out Yeah, dude freaking take it.
Oh, it's no moment. Take it Mel I'm on the radio. How you gonna call me right now? You know, I'm doing my thing Speaker speaker.
Oh, my uh, this is my agent Mel. Mel. What's going on? What'd you say we couldn't hear you?
Oh, good good good good good good. Now I need 20 points Oh, all right great now just well the bit tell James matter Jeremiah Watkins says hello, he loves you I got bless All right, we'll talk about it. I gotta do I'm gonna do the podcast and I get to the phone all right, but you know James matter Yeah, I love James. I've known James for dude like literally he is one of my first introductions to New York comedy He like what he hosted one of the first shows I ever did in New York like dude I want to say at least close to a decade ago.
Yeah, I've known him for like he has literally I've known him like and been introduced to him So many times over the years and he's always been the coolest in me But like anytime is you know when you're visiting from LA sometimes people are not a fan of like what are you trying to grab stage time? Right, you know, I mean if nobody's vouching for you which early on I didn't have any good without you for me So I'm just kind of going out there and stuff like that. He was always so freakin nice So called me every single time from day one. I lived with James for nine years really yeah So how it started was my Anthony DeVito is my room my best friend's high school in this comedy we came out to do Comedy together.
We were like let's just get apartment together alone another comedian this I know come on I live with you will be boys blah blah blah bullshit, right? And we're like okay, you can live with us and then like six months in he was like I gotta move I'm like so I'm just leaving us with a third my wife Anthony DeVito and me and then this guy so we want to have a family situation Yeah, of course, so it's okay. I found you another guy What's his name his name's mad dog and I went no fucking way am I living with a guy named mad dog right right? Then I met James who used to go by the name mad dog Yeah, and I went oh my god.
This is one of the best human beings ever yeah, and that guy's family I talked to him like I talked to him for now. I met him because James mad dog matter. Yeah. Yeah, he's a mad dog He's a big dog energy.
Come on. I got a pink old pistol. I'm on pinky's life. You know Rudy But another truth we're going off the truth.
Yeah false game. Mm-hmm not truth or dare We do truth or false on Jeremiah wonders you did a late night appearance last night that I want to hear about False this all been a lie. It's just on this podcast. No James funny enough is that's the reason He's calling Greg right now Yeah He wants to hear all about it and well, sorry James you're gonna have to watch back the podcast because you called during the recording brother Sorry dog.
You gotta pay for the patreon. We put this behind a paywall now James Only the next 10 minutes about a 20-hour patreon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, dude So let me tell you just like so I was came here to do I was just gonna come do cord and go home Yeah, my wife is like no you've been trying this for 15 years. I'm coming with you She's like she want to bring the baby and I'm like you bring the baby Then I'm like it's too stressful.
Okay, but she's got a lot of my mind like right outside of the set just doing a set Yeah, I can't just like you know I can't just be babysitting and I can't sleep this has to go well. She was fucking I bring my family So she brings back to tie parents who tees parents the baby everyone right at a house right there fucking BMW It's like she just went on the credit card It's like who gives a shit we on the plane the baby's good the whole ride until the very end How was your baby one years old exactly one cool? Yeah, we land kids shit his pants and start crying really got to the end She just pants now that is a allegory for how this set went So first of all start is that I've been doing a Jimmy Smith's bit on my podcast for years Mm-hmm. Okay, we invented this thing called the Jimmy Smith smel sticks.
Okay, those are sticks that when you got bad smell You pull a stick you smell it. It's a Jimmy Smith smel stick Jimmy Smith's is on the show and I go fucking way This is great. Yeah, he's finally gonna give me the money. He owes me right for the Jimmy Smith's Mel sticks right so before Quarding way they do it they go you they do a little pop in the green room They do a little bit, you know like hey, I'm Greg.
My dick is hard as hell. See it's funny or a rebel shit, right? So I'm like I'm like look man my career's over right? It's all dead and I go you can go little do a bit or you Take a big ass swing so the door opens cameras in my face and I was in the camera I went he goes hey Greg what's going on?
I was like where smits and where's my money and then What I'm like Jimmy owes me a ton of cash and if I do not see him we he's in trial I'm like he's in let's just say big trouble little China is not just a movie I said that which doesn't make any sense and then Gordon yes, and's me he goes in the green room That's the door back of the door if that's where Jimmy Smith's is so I'm banging on the door going Jimmy where my money Jimmy came out and then Jimmy's going you know that gets your money and he starts playing along and he's like You never see that money Jimmy I turn around he opens the door pops his head in I turn around I miss him like oh God damn it was Jimmy so I'm like oh my god I just took a wild swing yeah for this stupid little opening thing now I'm like I haven't been nervous about the show at all because I was like well I don't like flying so that's what made me nervous then I do the sound check and I'm like oh fuck I'm a little I'm a little nervous right because now you have time to think about it yeah I mean like like you're ready to like when we're at a club ready to do a set or whatever Yeah, you're ready to get on stage just do the set whatever but then somebody tells you that somebody might be there Yeah, that's fine But like oh by the way you just got bumped four more spots then you're like okay I'm dwelling I'm sitting in it I'm like what if you forget your material like fuck anyway I go on to do my set and man it's going great going great and then I do my last joke big laugh I'm like awesome and then the crowd is just looking at me and then Corbin is looking at me and I'm like this motherfucker isn't gonna come over and say thank you I go No I'm like that's like that's how bad I thought I was going well he's not even gonna walk over and say hello So look at the crowd I go I know you guys want that's it I'm done right and I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm good right and then the crowd's like huh and I'm like I can do I got more jokes I go uh my wife's crazy and then Corbin goes no man you gotta say thank you good night I did my whole set ended never said thank you and you know call me one-on-one thank you guys good night and I'm just standing there just completely blanked on saying thank you and good night and he goes just like that good night he goes well that it gives you shit right I hope they don't edit because it's way funnier for me I have just did like literally like my son had a great flight got the finish line and shit my pants then Corbin comes over and this is something I plan my whole life this is something I said the only reason I did this set was because I had this plan Corbin comes over I shake his hand I put five in his hand and I said there's a great little show you got going here thank you so much tip them who tips a late night host I put five in his hand I went this is great thank you so much for coming out this is a really great thing he looks me goes this is the first time I was ever tip the late night post shows the five bucks and I got thank you you guys were great it's not like don't worry about it's my dad's been doing that for me for years yeah show is over went well but I got to tip him I got the yellow Jimmy Smith's and I guess I did my act who the hell knows I blacked out for all that hopefully that stuff is funny right right I'm sure that's up on great yeah but now I'm like flying through space you know yeah you know what chance you have in life you don't take incredible I'm so curious what they're going to keep in right they'll definitely keep the tip thing I think I think he likes that yeah because also like he you know that's how he said good night I would say yeah I don't think that that they can edit around that you know I mean no and he laughed he loved it right but the me standing there they'll probably have to edit because in the room it's funny but I don't know if that's a thing like because of the lay of me standing there might have been like oh it's a little weird it might take away from the set yeah yeah yeah they'll probably cut it to thank you good night like after he laughs or something thank you good night him myself but dude imagine forgetting to say thank you that might be a new one like the one thing you know how to see you come on you do your material and then you go thank you good night but I did my last bit of it yeah all right that's it there you go and I'm like what a fucking idiot forgot to say good night it's like you did I forgot to sew up the patient right did the hard surgery I've been well I see you guys speeding in the car we're good here we're closing it up real quick yeah it's wild so and now I'm like sitting here like man and I it's on tonight it airs tonight so I didn't it really gets the airs tonight so I'm interested to see how it goes yeah I also went full swing that might have been embarrassing I may have embarrassed I mean I may have yelled too much but I went fuck it shit yeah who cares hey dude you're on late night and you've been working towards it forever why not make it your own I did everyone knows I came to LA to do Jeremiah Watkins that is why I'm your dog hello oh is I'm here Larry in a box three Larry's head got saw from living in a box everyone comes small head Larry okay here in Nickelodeon um you know we like the concept of Larry living in a box but got a little bit dark there during the theme song do you think you can um you know maybe make a slight adjustment on that sure I'm trying something like this Larry Larry now you have the catchy part down for the children right which we're big fans of here in Nickelodeon um but we might want to avoid the decapitation part of the storyline at least in the jingle like maybe we can work up to that in the storyline like like when we storyboard it out and we put in a delicate way for these children but the whole thing is Larry lives in a box how would he fit in the box if you know he's heading about the box is too small I'm asking you to you know to explain me the logistics here I'm just wanting you to come up with a song for children that's memorable it's it's like a bowl and like you have the tune down the tune sounds very nice but just uh clean up the words a little bit okay all right let's try something like Larry lived in a box cuz after a little horse things got rough and he had to move out of his house so he moved in a box Larry lives in a box these kids don't see him these kids are on drugs these kids bought a knife I hope it's gonna use it cuz we're living in a box in a box lesson with that you know what we're gonna get back to you on um we've got some other options that we're looking at um with the divorce thing was fine you know we did Larry's going through it you know what I mean yeah yeah the details the devil is in the details uh you know that is a very factual statement as a whole we're in that that's a concern here in Nickelodeon is that the devil is in the details we'd like angels to be the details I mean here's the thing we all you know their divorce exists is something that you know we've had a deal with until children for years there was shows like pepper and where's a single mother household that was put out there that was a popular show now let's find a mention the divorce but about the kids turning to knives and drugs that's what's a little bit concerning for us whether we want to put that on the docket or the theme song well I can switch that I think we're good I think we actually have heard it I you're the quality of your vocals is fantastic sure so it won't be in touch yeah all right so if you want thank you Lisa's guy knows how to close Larry lives in a box anyway I mean Larry lives in a box is gonna be stuck in my head for a little bit now sure um I like telling you like to do comedy about like to just Larry Larry lives in a box okay there's in a box in a box what box does he live in he lives in your mom's box Larry lives in a box he lives in a fat person set a tent up in a pussy your mom's pussy is so big as that a book tent village like in skid row oh skid row skid row skid row when she knows it white properly Larry lives in a box how's this going I feel like well I feel like well I feel like well too I just keep eyeballing that sex I cannot wait oh yeah no sex coming up in there oh yeah um so you are a dad of a year now is that your first child first child so I have a son that's a year and seven so yeah congrats thank you that's awesome yeah what's the name uh his name is Wilder Wilder and their gene or after the well or the beast of the forest no no no yeah after the gene yeah somebody asked me they're like uh after van weather like no not after the Ryan Reynolds character van Wilder that's based off of Bert Kreischer's life no yeah did you know that it's a great movie yeah I did I did know that not to so we that guy but yeah it's bizarre I mean it's bizarre it's pretty bizarre when you really think about it that's pretty bizarre it's bizarre that anyone let Bert Kreischer in college at all sure you know there's a lot of things there yeah Larry lives in a box not much to do about that just keep happening yeah that's okay that's like our uh it's like the effects is like a Tourette's mic thing yeah if I was in this room then I wouldn't be recording I would just be stoned in my mind just playing with the boxing and crazy shit to a box I mean I was in another button with this what's up third who's a third uh Jimmy's on fourth and uh it's a wild swing he took oh the ball is oh it's a home run but for some reason he's not going to first base he's walking over in the crowd what is going on out there on the field right now uh he's walking uh straight to the crowd we are seeing him and what is he doing over there he's grabbed he's grabbed a woman by the hair and now he's just been yelling this is this unprecedented he keeps yelling this as Sparta I'm not sure why this happening at this game and me talking like this I mean if all he has to do is get to home base and the red socks with it but he is screening this is Sparta into a woman's face he is going full cave man grabbing the woman by the hair dragging around the stands we don't know what is going on in this player's mind right now here's my question dick if he brings her to every base as he seems to be going does that count as two runs if he is not caught by the ball then it does double the points it is an old artifact of a baseball card that I have been looking at recently I just learned how to speak English recently really yes you're doing great thank you is what I am feeling right now before this game lots of Russian and Cantonese very good that's two languages hmm that's pretty good don't say you is there it is that's where I noticed theirs with the problem is oh bloops yeah yeah you'd want to let me let me just in the air i'm gonna break what's this it's a pink floyd kind of effect oh it was a cell I mean hello hello devil hello hello oh that's a double um so i'm pretty proud of the set i think it'll do well hopefully i'll do you know dude you never know that i mean I mean, if they leave that in, that could also be one of those moments that could go viral online because it's so unique. Never know. Someone for the fence, baby. You want a virus nowadays?
You're great. Yeah, that'll be. The first time we potted together was on our buddy, Robert Kelly's podcast. And it was during the pandemic, I believe.
We were in studio. Were we in studio? I feel like, no, yes, we had to. I feel like we were, who else was on that?
Do you remember? I think we were in studio, where are we? Yeah, because that's where I kind of, sorry, but that's where I met you. And then I remember seeing you on something else and I saw you touching all these buttons, the only effects.
Oh, I like what these kids up do. Yeah, interesting. This is how I was playing with toys, like toys, you know what I mean? But I think that you would have been playing with that stuff on, maybe it was, maybe.
There's no way to know. This is why you had a producer in room. So you may have looked at it up. Hey, look it up.
Yeah, anyway. Hey, Gerald, will you look that up? Then, Gerald is the giraffe. That's the problem.
He's not even, he's not even, he's not even drinking. So then I messaged you. I was like, I'm in, I love you podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I thought we clicked. And I like this guy. And you'd love to have you. Yep.
And I went, I've already retired from comedy. I have to apologize because when you hit me up, I said in the email, I was like, next time you're in LA, let's do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you came to LA and like, I was busy or something and I like didn't respond in time.
And I was like, yeah, no, but I apologize. It was some LA energy. No, I apologize for that. Let me say this, no need because I know this guy the moment I met him.
I said, I was a good guy. And then we did a repotment. Huh. And then when you did two years later, when this guy's more like Greg than you know, this guy just fine.
I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I wasn't even brought it up if I thought it was like real. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I saw you in New York and I apologize to the then there as well. I was like, dude, I'm seriously when you're in LA next time.
I apologize. You should have ignored me again. That's the thing. That would have been the real LA thing.
That would have been the real kicker. If I do, I got you, man. The next time you're on my neck of the woods, bro. I got you, man.
I don't know why you lunch. You keep up and you can do it. I take you from a ride in my fucking Corvette. It's going to be great.
Hey, man. Don't even run a bim-dum-dum. You can have mine, man. Don't run a plays.
Just get out of the plane again. I'll pick you up. Yeah, yeah. I'll handle everything.
I owe you. That's great. People say that at the LA energy, I don't run that many people in LA. So I don't like, I don't know.
My friends, I have friends over here. I don't know. I haven't had too much of that. I haven't had to deal with you.
They call people in LA, you know, we have the Los Angeles Lakers. They call people who live here the LA flakers. Wow. Yeah, because you'll have plans set with somebody and if something even remotely better comes along in their lives, they're so willing to drop plans with you for something else.
Oh, my God. That's brutal. No, no, it is. But if it's also understood.
But you surround yourself with your crew who don't do that to you. You know what I mean? But like you go through a lot of people who are like, huh, interesting. Because then you see who they were, I go, right, that's who you are.
I realized that was you. Yeah, and you're one of them. Yeah, I'm a hard-breaking. My dad did that to me.
Really? Yeah, something better came along and he had to move. Yeah, hold her family. That's fine.
Well, Greg, if you could say anything to your dad right now, look into that camera. What would you say? I'm better, man. I'm not the kid that you raised.
I'm not. I knew I was trouble when I was little. You know, I wanted to be hugged a lot and kissed and told and told. But I don't need that anymore.
I've grown. So I'd like to start a relationship with you again. If you could pass, pass. Could I call you a pass?
Or I'd like to call you Mr. Anderson. Anyway, if you want to make a chance, I got some gift cards to Ben again. So I'd like to start a relationship with you again.
If you could pass, pass, pass, I'd like to call you a pass. Or I'd like to call you Mr. Anderson. Anyway, if you want to make a chance, I got some gift cards to Ben.
And I appreciate you putting yourself out there like that on this podcast. You're coming in as a guest, but guess what? You're leaving as a brother. Next year, W.
This was great. What I would like to think and this is a hypothetical. This is an alternate universe. Mm-hmm.
That your dad's name is Larry. And that he's actually no longer with that. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm talking, okay.
Well I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
I'm sorry. I don't know. I don't know. I'm Mr.
You got shot. Now you leave in a box. I'm sorry man. That's all right man.
Just hit close to home. You're a dad, you know. You're a dad, I'm a dad. We understand that.
It's like to lose to miss. It hits different when you're a dad. Right. You know.
Yeah. I do. You know because now you know. You thought you were going to be.
When I had a kid, the cycle is you first you think your parents are heroes. Then you realize they fucked up. Then you become a parent and you see yourself fucking up. And you're like I don't want to step in the same direction.
Then my parents did. I don't want to do that to my kid. I don't want to fuck him up. But what can I do?
I'm not perfect. You're not perfect. But all you can do is hope. All you can do is hope.
You kid, when he gets older, will be able to forgive you. And the only way he'll be able to do that is if you forgive you for things that you're about to do. So when was the last time you busted a fat nut? Oh, pre-show man.
I had to come here. Come free. You have to talk about it. Come in this pocket.
It's the hard-ass dick. Way down? No way. Come on dick.
Swing it back and board up. Yeah man. Okay, yeah. Okay, come unless you came.
Got it. You can't go unless you came. So yeah, that's what I've been up to. Okay, cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you want to add a read or how do you use that word? Yeah, let's do an add read together right now. Great.
Okay. Alright. Jimmy's blood soaked case deez. You like case deez with the salt in the blood.
Jimmy's blood soaked case deez. Make them add a little goat. Sweet little goat. Sweet little goat.
So come on down to Jimmy's. And get a blood soaked case deez. Man, I got. For $6 you can get four case deez.
Right now. Bring your grandmother. And she gets a senior discount. Bring that hard-o-dick.
Kind of the bloody case deez store. Yeah, I think that'll be hard with that. It was for a blood soaked case deez. Yeah, it's a new thing that's cooking me.
Okay, tell me more. Yeah, yeah. So the thing is that there's vegan movement has also pushed a... What is a vegan?
A vegan is a person who eats more vegetables. That's not how you say that word. A vegan eats more vegetables. It's a vegetarian.
It's a vegetarian. It's a vegetarian. The vegetables. Okay.
So because of the push left, there's been a right push. So then the meat eaters went, well, we're going to double down on our eating meeting. Our eating meeting. We're going to eat...
There's eating meetings for the people who eat meat up there, right? Mm-hmm. Okay. So let's say you go vegan.
Okay, great. I as a meat eater go, fuck you. I'm going to eat double the meat to ruin what you're doing. Oh, is that why the meat lover's pizza was amended?
Yes. Yes. It's a really rub it in the face of the vegans who are icing for the veggie pizza. Yes.
Okay. Yes. Okay. Let's do baby goats.
And then we'll double soak the quesadilla in blood. What does a baby goat sound like? Mm-hmm. Now that's why we're here.
Go on, people. Thank you so much for coming back to dad jokes on the program. We'll be zigging those zingers at you. Let's just keep on looking for them.
You know, I actually found out why dad jokes exist. Why? Because you are the child ruins everything. And all you can do is hold on to humor.
Mm-hmm. But because everything has been ripped from you, you're so tired that a dad joke is just a last stitch effort of trying to keep some kind of humor into a tired, dead world. Right. Does that make sense?
Okay. Okay. I like having conversations with people when you ask them, what do you think? Okay.
Because it does what you just did where you're like, that didn't even freak an answer to my question. Try it sometimes. It really throws me off when somebody asks you a question. Okay.
Well, how do I ask you a question? Okay. Do you think that it's a good thing or a bad thing that there is more diversity in film and television now? What do you give me some examples?
I think that there is with different superheroes, different Disney characters. They're not all white anymore. Right. And so now give me, what do you ask me?
Give me a question again. Do you like diversity? Okay. Back to you, Jack.
I don't know what I'm doing here. In my mind. Anyway, I know I like exactly what you're doing here. Literally, you're the kind of guest I like to have on the show.
You have so many no rules that I can't maintain a straight thought. It's just too much to grab, it's too much to say. You're guessing and everything. I can't even know.
I know a pocket. Tell me to tell stories. I'm like, I'm going to play with this or the six odds. All the crazy shit in my head.
I'm going to let it all out. That's great. Yeah. It's the most fun I ever had in my life.
Dude. That's what I want. I want to cut together. You're set.
You're going to get some less fun. I've ever had in my life. But seriously though, I think we should get back to white people in movies. Okay.
Cool. Yeah. Do you do questions or? Do I do questions?
What do you mean? What do you freaking mean dude? Do I do questions? Do I do questions or do I do questions?
Like a follow up. Hey man. That's out there already. Is it?
Yeah. Well then tell me. Am I happy in this marriage? We'll be right back after this commercial break.
Okay. Yeah. So I think you're real happy in your marriage. If you're willing to travel across the country with your family.
Yeah. And you have a wife that's that supportive and who knows that you've been wanting this specific thing with your career for a while. That's a good wife dude. Also I'm really happy when I heard about that.
Like you guys made an event out of this because dude, if you don't make an event out of when we're trying to book something or trying to get something along with our careers, it's kind of like why did we make such a fuss about it for so long if you don't take a moment to absorb like the moment and feel good about it and celebrate it. You know, I try to tell my friends all the time when they book something or they finally got something that they're working towards. I'm like yo, now celebrate and take this in for a bit. So you're not like, okay, I'm the next thing because then you're you're you're always empty on the inside.
Dude, I haven't really even said it to me last night and the best thing in the world. If I have a bad set, I beat myself up for a month. If I get a win, I don't even, I don't allow myself to be in that moment and be happy. It's like be dude, enjoy it.
You know, like you worked hard. You did a thing. You know, why don't you fill yourself with the love on the inside as much as the fucking hate and darkness. You don't need for it.
You know, you can't live. We all can't live in that dark box like Larry and that's what this song is about. And you filled your life with love and she got pregnant. Hello.
One shot, one kill. Yeah. See, a lot of people don't know. Yeah, what's crazy is a lot of people when they try to have sex with women.
And this is just crazy. Yeah, I heard about this. They did a study, right? Continually.
They did a study. Yeah, and a lot of people try to, uh, the cum can go anywhere. That's my book. And that is a quote that I heard from Dr.
Schol recently. Yeah, the cum can go anywhere. And then I put in her hair and I rubbed her hair and I rubbed her hair and I said, you're such a good woman. And, you know, like Pantine, you know, right, whatever, I'm not once later I got a baby who's an Indian, but yeah, I mean something.
That's how good I do it. I do, uh, like how, you know, my wife I pregnant. I, I, I was just masturbating to the other room, actually, and then like she walked in the room and I did the LeBron thing. Oh!
And then that's how she got, yeah. Yeah. That's great. And it worked.
Yeah. That's awesome. One shot, one killed it. One shot, one kill.
Big dog energy brother. Big dog energy dog. That's what we knew. I'm gonna be so many years.
I mean, you can have this quote 38. It makes a nose and it's like, dude, why? This is literally like in the 200s. Like what is?
I'm sort of 38 with nobody. Yeah, it shouldn't be quit with nobody. Larry Lee, I was in a box. I'm with the pixelation over your face, like one of those witness protection.
You know, it'd be hilarious if you added me completely out of the pocket. And you're just like, I changed it to like, Lord of the Page, like, you're not supposed to be a great experience the late night. And it was. We're gonna be bored of being a part of the late experience.
Oh, is this, is this two devils talking? Oh, you're joking. Wait, wait, what happened? Oh, the other guy's talking like, what?
Are you laughing at us? It's famous. I've just said, it's beautiful. I've only one of these people that is so good.
I'm not sure you'll still notice it. Are you THER! You're so good, and you can stay here for an F.C. Oh, I've got a couple of pictures of his arms.
Oh, that's my moving arm. Hey look. Oh, I'm just gonna be there. That's just a side field.
What? No, take me all the way out. Look at that shallow, dude. Yeah, we're out of place.
Oh, I wanna be in the kitchen. Yeah, that's good. Oh I Be Because it wouldn't be because we accept everybody in hell the home of open places up there and fucking have what the angels They don't let you in fucking you know they lay you and I will you have in fur when you love another man Yeah, we're the devil Yeah, yeah, look at all these homos. That's probably seems offensive by in the devil I am the devil I'm just pretty much I'm the devil that makes people too horny to survive Dry you ever see people get so sex crazy.
I think it leads them into like Dom, or you're doing a similar thing You know like you know I like to put you know things in their mind. It's like oh like you know follow that girl follow that boy Followed up a follow devil Cuz there's so many horny people out there Find us I'm proud of work for dumb stuff. It's huge. I never had a TV show.
You know what I mean? No, I'm afraid Mark Cuban no get that guy Anyway Probably just yelling jokes sometimes crazy shit comes out. Yeah, man You're like well, I'm gonna go down for that one. Hey, but you know that was the devil.
That was the devil That wasn't me safety baby. Just like after a sweet fart. We say safety after jokes Safety safety safety safety Comedians Safety safety you actually had a lot of good ideas safety Yeah, that's so funny. Oh man.
I really live in a box. That is in my head and it won't leave We know you know what I mean? No, no, we know you don't yeah, you're really yeah, I think it's in there I said I'm out you said dude. You've been singing it out loud You even like even in the jingle like when we cut to the commercial break.
Mm-hmm Larry worked his way into the commercial break I was saying there's gonna be a product for an ad-read. I'm trying to make some money on this one. Yeah, and then no It turns out Larry lives in the box. We do know every I mean yeah, we need to cut to an ad-read right now From a dead horse and you long but you don't know how again rid of it Well, we have the solution for you Call solidarity I Jangles down and now Who I call We got a Rick Yeah, that's a big bucks and they pay a lot dude So if you guys if you need a dead horse removed use promo code Jeremiah at 1 869 69 and they'll remove your dead horse for you And that's thing they got money because it's not a lot of people removing dead horses.
No, you know, no no no It's a very specific trait. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and that's why they're only allowed to 1,000,000, that's only four numbers I've 1,800 that's what I was thinking that right but then like when you said it I appreciate the clarity because I was like I don't know how that's gonna go through. Mm-hmm, but it will go through They have the right story, right?
They have the right. Okay. Yeah, I mean you feel like hello. Look.
Whoa one ring Yeah, like yeah one ring great customer service. That's always feels nice when you just get them on one ring one ring Yeah, come on if I get two rings. I answer your phone call every single time one ring Yeah, or no rings right so if you're in a second ring just hang up cuz I'm not picking up Yeah, cuz I'll be on the phone. Yeah, I'll be on the phone.
Yep. My pronouns are I be on the phone. Yeah, that's also will I am song is out in 2004 Man, I don't know what's happening here, but I believe you and I choose to not take that as a joke good I'm gonna tell my friends about it good. I'll be on the phone I'll be on the phone.
I'll be on the phone Seconds Tommy great see you man. Oh, I was on the phone all the time Well, a lot of moms, but a lot of ants a plus dude. Yeah, yeah Yeah, I like what you got. I guess what what you're stirring up What I like about this podcast the most is the lack of a fan that she is hot is The fan in no Hey, Gage, will you add a fan on Greg right now?
Yeah, like a fan and sound effects and everything and then can you could use Think I do the body type and looks I do feel like I'm friends. I can be a friend. Okay, but be a Barney Yeah, you're too big dog. Come on.
Don't we should play the little Ron James what's up? No, I was a thing. I just that's okay catchphrase So Greg is a very funny comedian you should check out his late-night appearance on James Corden You should check him out podcast you podcast a lot Friday night Greg Friday night great Friday night. Also your Monday show Oh, right, right?
The county seller. It's once a month. It's called night cream. We do last so much like this Do you got a jam and I can build for this?
Oh, you're already doing it on your own thing, but we should collab. Oh, we love that collab. Oh, collabo Dog collabo and gelato coming We're gonna close out with his final segment is there anything that you want to plug before we do the final segment sax talk though my friend I do want to plug My website 1-800-deaddogs.com it's similar to the horse thing But I'm starting small so I just removed that dogs well dogs are easier to get out of houses than horses right takes It takes a team to get Sally dead horses removal I mean dude, that's a that's a fleet of people that come out in a van and everything but dogs are more emotional that is true You have to give condolences in a different way to a dog owner. Yeah, you know, I try to I'm there for you I want a dead horse dies usually have a very wealthy person They're already emotionally attached from detached from everybody from life from life.
Yeah, I'm not saying this 90% of the horses that die is The owner's fault. They're usually they have to do it. So what do you want to plug? Oh, yeah I'm a podcast right like Greg which I should be promoting but it's way more fun to do The owner deaddogs.com is a website.
I don't want to go. I mean, I don't want to check Come on. You got a phone, but do you want to deal with consequences of what that might be on that website? 1-800- well 100 deaddogs.com there's no way that exists.
Deaddogs.com. Yeah, see wait I'm about to go and incognito. I'm got to brother. I'm always thinking you know mode dead dogs calm Dogs calm well, you're gonna be shocked.
What it's available to purchase For only three thousand eight hundred and ninety five dollars really yes How much do you want to promote your dead dogs you're gonna spend four grand Well, how do you know the price to tell you it says you guys if you think Greg and I should buy dead dogs calm Comment below let us know if we need to get a go fund me going for this You know I think that this is a good cause that we could be we can post your not your but you but you But honor them honor them. That dogs is this a million dollar idea for only four grand link below for the Kickstarter Yeah, and we'll do songs for them like Yeah, of course You will it you were a Britney spaniel English you were great to your family Never peed in the house never bit no one Willy He's used to watch We love your dead dog Was a sweet I Was new rules new rule Billy you can't go outside anymore and all dogs go to heaven Yeah For sex talk Well in 2002 I was sitting in a green golf folks like golf and I was at a burn community college and I met a girl. I was just blonde hair bombshell beautiful woman. We make it into my car and you know I reached my arm out And she leaned in And when this is it this is it I'm gonna go for it So I went put my heart ass lips on her heart ass lips because we both are And we started kicking it sex style But no sexy I just like driving you know on the in the mean streets the burn community college parking lot She looks at me and she goes stop stop stop stop.
I go what's up? She goes give me your issues now Tell me your issues now. I said sometimes I put my foot in my mouth And I said what are your issues you're not like believe me or anything And she went oh my god I've never told anyone before and I went what and she went only my grandmother knows And I am so sorry. I just said anything.
I didn't mean to tell you that I just I just said anything I said anything and you know it's okay. It's just it's just hard and I went no no it's cool you know whatever and I drove her home and Suffice to say we didn't have sex or anything but I Just happened to pull out of my pocket the worst thing that was going on in her life and I had no idea So I got married later, so I think it worked out for me If you're out there, I hope you've gotten she doesn't do it. She used to be she wasn't anymore So I say 100% true story Oh 100% true dude. I mean there's not really any coming back from that.
No, it really isn't also I realize it's hard to talk with you because you have a saxophone in your mouth. It's like a right I gotta go The saxophone now when a bulimic girl gives you head is it the one time where she can swallow and spit? Then I might be the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. There's no comeback from that you my friend Finished comedy did I just make a perfect joke perfect as a taintree fighter This was a lot of fun dude, I love to have you good.
I hope you had a good time I had a blast with you. I don't mean to my last coming. I hope I hope this was everything that we wanted in more I mean this is recap we Larry lives in a box. There's a box.
You cried. I did cry for real We had a dead horse removal. You know something seriously wrong. You're like oh, I'm in an unsafe place now Jeremiah just started crying during the podcast did a horse that I had a homophobic slur and I didn't a character did the devil did safety We'd say we create a safety was great.
It's gonna. That's gonna sweet the nation. That is no time nation sweeper. Yeah So thanks for having me.
Dude. Love that. Thanks