JW Ep 26- Ry Doon

Greetings from Jeremiah Wandersland. Hope this is finding you well. Welcome back to the show. Thank you for supporting.

Thank you for listening. I got my first donation at JeremiahWonders.com. I appreciate you guys supporting the show. That is the website for this podcast, JeremiahWonders.com.

Go check it out. Videos, the podcast, upcoming stuff and more. Do it up. What's up guys?

How are ya? Did you have a good week? Mm, you didn't? You did?

You really? You had a great one. That was a pretty good week. Busy, busy, busy, busy week.

Good things. Working on a lot of Reagan walking stuff, leading up to the album. Very excited. Very, very excited.

We shot a music video. I was on set for like 13 hours with a bunch of comedian buddies. Got some fun cameos in that. And then I was editing a music video with Pat Reagan, my boy, earlier in the week with everybody Lucas Hurrell.

So we got a couple music videos in the pipeline. And then our buddy Rick Hasika is putting together a short, the eight minute documentary with us. And it's gonna be a lot of fun. Yeah guys.

Good stuff ahead. Busy week. Hope you guys had a busy, fulfilling week as well. I wanna thank the sponsors for this show at Speedweed OG.

Sponsored the show. OG Kush, nah, so that is. Man, it's a marijuana delivery service. Man, flawless segue.

You wanna get the sticky, green game. Blah, blah, blah, get the speed, red dog. Bronx-born pizza. Hooking it up.

On the video end. That's right. Yeah, they made it all possible. Get this production on video.

New videos on YouTube come out every single Wednesday. At Bronx-born pizza, social media. At Speedweed on Twitter. And then of course Joe's pizza.

Yeah, I asked Joe recently whenever I went in. You know, if he wanted me to plug any promos or anything coming up, you know what he said to me? He said, say something like, Joe's is the way to go. And I have a feeling that he made that up right there in the moment.

I don't think that that was a thing that they've been saying for years. But Joe's is the way to go. Yeah, go check it out on the sunset. Let's get into the kindness challenge and then we'll start this podcast.

I'm running on fumes. You boys running on fumes, huh? Yeah, yeah. Every week I challenge you guys do something nice for a stranger or somebody that you know.

And I got a letter from a guy that I want to read. I don't know what he looks like. I don't know what he sounds like. So I start to wonder what if I read the letter that he sent me in the voice that I think that he might sound like?

So here we go. What's up, my favorite blonde comedian? A few weeks ago I was leaving a store when a man walked up in the asifur ride to Glen Addie. Apparently his truck had broken down at Hardys.

He just needed a ride to the house so he could go get his other truck before work started. As in background, I live in a super nice city with a terrible city right next to me, in a St. Ellebaemon, which per capita is one of the worst in the country. Needless to say, I'm not used to bad folk.

So since this guy was holding the Hardys cup, I said sure. I didn't realize that Glen Addie was the worst part of down. I made sure my doors were locked and everything until we came up to a dirt road. He kept saying it's right around the corner, man.

Unfortunately for him, I wanted to go home to my wife. So I asked him to get out since it was right around the corner. I'm really hoping I fulfilled the kind of town instead of thwarting a robbery or something similar. Regardless, keep showing Bill Clinton who the sexiest sex player is and I'll keep downloading Jeremiah wonders every Monday.

Love the show? Tim from Alabama. Tim, yeah, man. That counts, dude.

He did something nice for a stranger. Did you almost get your throat slit in the process? We don't know, man. I like your logic that because he was holding a Hardys cup, he gave him a ride.

Yeah. That's a smile on my face. This guy gets it. He's a Hardys fan as well.

Perfect. I'll get this guy right. No, that's very nice of you. I'm riffing on your kindness challenge.

What am I doing? I'm so tired right now. But that just made me laugh. You saw him holding a Hardys cup and you're like, it seems like a good guy.

Like murders don't possibly go to Hardys. Anyway, what I'm trying to say, guys, is his head and heart was in the right place. So Tim, thank you for doing that. And take some notes from Tim, guys.

Do something nice, pay for it to somebody else. I promise. A good thing will come back to you if you do it. Just how I feel, how the universe works.

Guys, got some fun tour dates and stuff coming up. Check out my social media. If you're not following me on social media, get on it at Jeremiah Standup on Instagram, Twitter, all that jazz, go to jeremyewinders.com. Go to the new website that I created for Kiltony, Kiltony.tv.

And what do you say we get into this episode with Rydoon? One of my favorite episodes that I've done yet, just because he followed the format to its truest potential. You know, he got weird. And people get weird with me.

That's my favorite place to be, Weirdville. We got weird real quick. Without further ado, let's get into this episode of Jeremiah Wonders with my pal, Rydoon. That just caught me up.

Yeah, let's go. Let's go. Let's do this. Recording.

I'm fired up right now. Dude, I do pep talks to every guest before we get going. I'm just like, usually that's not on the podcast. I guess this time it's gonna be on the podcast.

Let's go. Dude, we've been recording. Dude, you are crazy. Dude, what just happened?

We're already live on the show. You crazy a hill. What's going on right now? We were singing Trapped Headstrong right before this podcast started.

Ryan was listening to it at, what was it? Urban Robin? Is that what's called? Up the street, right up the street on Sunset?

Yeah. I had an IC weed salad while listening to Headstrong in the mending. It's trying to take on anyone. And she's like, yeah.

She's like slurping you. Oh, this is good song. Picking the seaweed out of my teeth. Yeah.

Seemeed salad, delicious. Tough to eat in that. Seemeed salad sounds horrible. You eat it for the rest of the day because it gets stuck in your teeth.

It's delicious. It's just leftovers all day. Yeah. It's the best kind of Tupperware to take on the road.

It's not for labor. Exactly. It's like I had an wisdom teeth, sockets. Like you get the wisdom teeth out and the food gets stuck in it.

That happened to me once. I mean, I have a lot of people, but I got food stuck in my wisdom teeth. And your mouth? With your mouth.

With your mouth. And then I had decaying food in my mouth for a week. If that doesn't get your engines revved, I don't know what. Well, rotting food in my mouth.

It was hot. Talk about it satisfying getting that stuff out, though. All right, bet. That always feels good.

What kind of food? Do you remember what kind of food it was? Oh, man. What was my diet back in 2004?

It was a bunch of Twizzlers, Doritos. Fundit. Sour Pachets. Cheese wins in a can.

Yeah, 2004, I was eight. I'm kidding. I was 34 now, so whatever that was, I'm bad at math, dude. Amen.

Nobody's going to ask you to go back in time and do the math on that. So you're totally good here. I was about to ask, is this a math podcast? Welcome to the fear of all sums with Jeremiah Watkins.

I fear math. Oh, I was horrible at math. To this day, I'll get a check for food. And I'm like, oh, fuck here we go.

Get the bill. I'm like, oh, god, what's 20% of this? Oh, yeah. Well, what I always do won't drink for me.

Wait, this is a math podcast. This is a math podcast. Welcome back. And the cosign of the equation is actually what I do is, OK, let's say your bill is $42.

And $0.18. OK. Love it. All right.

So 10% of that just move the decimal over $42.18 would be $4.21. Multiply it times 2. You got 20%. It's around $850.

So this is your most boring episode, yeah? No. There's girls squirting listening. I don't know why I went that healthy, right?

James, I was like, no, I've had girls squirting on here. And that was more boring. And that was more boring than what's happening right now. I just went for it, man.

I felt like the contrast between math and then just sexual energy. And being freaking perfect. Intelligence is sexy, except on women. I mean, dude, I don't like my bras being too smart.

You know what I mean? Which it works out because most bras are fucking stupid. Yeah, I mean, come on, man. I mean, I don't want to be intimidated by another creature that might be smarter than me.

Yeah, I'm trying to fuck them. Yeah, right? Come on. I'm trying to outsmart them.

So they fucked me. I mean, I want to take a look at their eyes so I'll at least triangle. You know what I'm saying? Hey, that's my dog right there.

You. Was my gun too loud there? Oh, no, it's OK. OK.

OK. OK. Jesus. Welcome back to the library corner.

We were just peaking a second ago. But now we're in a very safe, quiet environment. Great. And the book of the day is The Bible.

Welcome back to the show. Thank you. I have a question first. Why is it that libraries have become not so much a place for public reading, but more a place for homeless public masturbation?

Well, we do offer free internet. That is a thing. And a lot of you call them homeless. I refer to them as something without a home inclined.

That's what I call them. Home impaired. They're home impaired. Yeah.

They're housing impaired. That's what I call them here at the library. I just us. I like that.

I like that. So what happens is, this is wild. You'll never believe this. We offer free internet.

And a lot of the housing impaired. They don't have access to it. So what they do is they go straight to the porn sites. And they start just going to town, jerking it, from 3 PM to 3.02 PM.

And it is a mess. We got to call the hazmat people to come in, clean the keyboards, make sure that by the time kids come after school, kids arrive after school, that everything is clean for them. So you're saying, although very dehydrated, the home impaired can still ejaculate quite a bit. They definitely can.

Yes. It is, I don't know if it's a buildup or what it is, but it is much more than the normal person. Interesting. Yes.

And how does it taste? It is wonderful. Yes. If the hazmat people cannot arrive on time, then that's what we just do.

We sample it around the office space. And I don't even tell people what it is. Yeah, but they love it. This podcast has gone off the rails real quick.

Loving every freaking man in puppet, though. That's what happens when you have the dune on, bro. That's what happens, dude. Please call me the dune from here on the dune.

OK, the dune. Even socially. Yeah, OK. Hey, the dune.

Hey, dude, it's the dune. People will be like, why are you calling him that? Hey, man, we have a special relationship, and I just call him the dune. Yeah.

And it's the least personal nickname I could thank you. You know what's funny? My full name is Ryan Muldoon. Muldoon is always been a family nickname.

It's a masculine sounding name. People would be like, yo, dune. Yeah. And I wasn't the most masculine gentleman in high school.

So people were like, dune, dune. I was like, you can just call me Ryan. Is there anything I can get for you? I'm sorry.

You turn into a waiter all of a sudden for your friends. They're like, what? You guys want some waters? You guys good with more ice waters or anything like that?

I had a friend here. It's really good. I had a friend in college who thought every waitress was into him because they were smiling and serving food. Goodness.

I had friends that I'll go out to eat with. They feel that same way. And I'm like, you're embarrassing yourself. What are you doing?

They are like this to every single. They're working for tips. It's more of the job. They're trying to be nice and courteous.

And I actually have plans to make a sketch of that premise. Just me, a waiter, a waitress being like, can you get anything? Oh, sure. Coca-Cola?

Great choice. Oh, wow. You got to see that. And here is the pill.

And thank you very much. I put a little smiley face on it. I'll pay for it. I mean, OK, that'd be great.

You can use credit or cash. That'd be wonderful. It's on me. I got this.

Oh my god. A smiley face. I mean, yeah, I leave it for, you know, the nice guy. It's like yourself.

Me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you're a customer and you're a nice guy. It seems like.

So yeah, I put a smiley face. I hope you have a nice day. I'm just going to walk back behind the bar. I've got a couple other customers that I tend to.

I love it when we do this kinky role play. She acts like a waitress, calls me a customer. And turns me on. OK, sir, I'm going to actually go back to the kitchen.

And if you pay up, I really don't want to have to call my manager over here. Ooh, a three-sum. I'm just going to head back there. How did I say?

All right, I'll meet you back there in five-bit. OK, I'm going to call the police. This is a little extreme. I don't feel comfortable.

I just I need you to pay your bill and leave, sir. OK, I'm getting a weird vibe from you. But I'll go with it. Yeah, I call the police.

OK, all right. Bye. That was me just ending with that. Credits.

Or she's dead now. She's dead. Next sketch. Yeah.

Yeah, dude. We are sitting in a bra. Man, it's freaking great, dude. Everybody just dies at the end of our scenes.

Rest in peace, Sarah. How long have you been doing sketching and problems like that? I've been making videos and just content online for a long time. So much content.

So much content, dude. So many people say you're freaking content, King, dude. I can send myself that. The one thing about content is it doesn't matter if it's good, just as long as you post them on a Reggae Basie.

Dude, as long as you're pumping it out there, good things will happen. Yeah. But to actually answer your question, I did some improv in back in Boston in 2012. Did level one and two at the improv in Boston in Cambridge.

And then I started doing standup comedy. Mm. Did you have a good experience doing improv? Whenever, like, did you have an affinity for it with the teams and stuff like that?

Some people gel right away whenever they do improv. Or some people are like, improv's not so much for me. Then they transition to standup kind of thing. I loved it.

I had a lot of fun. But improv level one, anyone can do it. So there were several people in my classes that just weren't funny. Oh, yeah.

So when I was matched with them, I was like, oh, god, here we go. Was it very, I mean, whenever I did my intro class back in the day, it was all very gamey kind of stuff. So it's interesting, at the base level of improv, if you follow the rules, you're right. Pretty much anybody can do it.

But whenever it starts getting to scene work and stuff like that, that's whenever it's like, oh, this is very specific skill. You got to be really dialed in and present. But I would see people, he's a frustreming. I'd see people who I knew weren't funny, but they were following the ABC rules and they would kill at our class shows.

I'm like, oh, this isn't injustice to comedy. Get out of the clock. Quit. You know what, lawyer, get out of here.

OK, you're not taking this class seriously. Improvis my life. Yeah, you sound like a beta for filming. Oh, I think I think are you talking about Patrick Warburton?

Yeah, you might be calling into the show real quick. Let me see. Hey, Patrick, is Patrick Warburton calling into the show right now? Yeah.

Yeah, it's right. It's great to meet you. I thought you were fictional. You know what I'm talking about?

I'm having trouble understanding. Are you saying that there's real human actors doing the voices on Family Guy? Wait a second. Did you think for one second that they existed in a world perhaps a league of their own?

Good movie. I thought cartoons were imaginary, but everyone just believed in them. Like Santa Claus or the Toothpin 34. But something happened in my childhood.

So I kind of got stuck as an eight-year-old. You got stuck. That's what you think? Oh, wait.

I think we have Peter Griffin calling in. All right. Let's go ahead and take it. Yeah, I see the Peter Griffin actually calling into the show right now.

Hello, Peter. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think he's doing great. You know?

OK. Well, thank you, Jeremiah. OK, right. Peter.

What? That was disrespectful. All right. That was my Peter Griffin.

That's set. That's set. Who's voices that? But he walked in, staying in his character right now.

Seth, do you want to say anything? You want to hit Seth McFordland? How are you? Hey, that's the Seth I know.

I mean, what's great about me for Joe is I don't have to stretch it all. I'm just myself. Right. Yeah, that's one of the best parts about playing Brian.

I relate most to character Brian. I over drink very cynical, very smart, and I sing Broadway. Maybe not Broadway, but musicals, which are Joe Cleveland is here. Actually Cleveland.

Oh, hey, Joe. I think we have two Cleveland's calling in right now. That's impossible. I don't know.

Hello. Bye, guys. They just killed themselves. Holy shit.

Wow. That's what I didn't hear. They slid in the throat. I guess we could hear it.

Oh, man. Those were some impressions that I'm not comfortable with. So, man, you just really helped me flex my muscles. Dude.

I guess what this shows about. It's good workout. You know, this gym is just like, it's a mental workout, you know, the show, you know. Yeah, and no days off.

Yeah, no, dude. Every day is throat day here. Yeah. That's where my one is.

Always working on the voice is always working on the impression. Freaking dope, dude. Fucking like, boss and improv. So did you do improv when I removed out to LA after that?

Or did you jump right into stand up whenever you? I did stand up after taking improv level two. I did it once and got scared away for a year from it because I bombed it and opened like, and I was like, I almost cried afterwards. Oh, really?

Yeah. I mean, what happened with the bomb that was so badly, almost cried afterwards. What happened was it meant too much to me and I like, you like put too much into the stakes of that one open mic. Yeah.

Yeah. I thought about it for months, leading up to it and I was like, I'm gonna do it. And then I didn't like bomb in the sense like people are booing. It was just like, everything was met with silence.

Yeah. Then afterwards I was like, it was embarrassing. And I was like, fuck. I didn't like actually almost cry, but I was like feeling awful.

Right. Then I was like, fuck this. I don't know if I can take this pain. So I went back into doing music.

I was a musician for years. I played the sax bro. Oh, you do? Yeah.

I really talked about this at one point. Which sax did you play? Oh, wow. Do you still play?

No, not really. Do you still own a sax out here? No. I do.

I have an alto in a tenor. Wow. Oh, man. Move over to my walk-ins.

Oh, there's another sax out in town. The dune. The dune. But am I in the dune in the mornings?

Yeah. Two saxophones playing two different songs at the same time. What does it sound horrible? Yes, it does.

But they plow through. Is it abrasive? Indeed. So yeah, I started, then I went back into playing music and singing and beatboxing and playing the saxophone.

And then in 2013, November, 2013, I went back into standup. And I did well. And I was like, fuck it. I just need to not care, I guess.

And embrace the bomb. You mentioned beatboxing. You had been doing that like, that's like a thing that you were doing. Yeah.

Ever since high school, I was in a band, a band with some friends in high school. And in between sets at Live Show, I would do a solo beatbox. So what kind of band was this? Because I'm very interested to know about this.

Because it sounds like you're very musical guy at beatboxing, sax, you're in a band. In high school? In a mediocre. I don't think so.

Well, buckle the fuck up, dude. Because I'm about to tell you about this fucking band, bro. Okay. Sorry.

Dude, I don't know. Back to high school, like the former guy that you used to be. Well, I would have had a high pitch for my husband. I had a falling off the band.

Here's the story of the band. The band was a- Band name. Go. Cardoza.

Okay. That gives a lot of context. Continue. Yeah.

We couldn't think of a cool name. So our bass player barely spoke. So we thought it'd be funny to name it his last name, which is Cardoza. Band Cardoza.

And we were kind of a jam band. Hope you don't mind. Heavy influence from Dave Matthews band. Sorry, everybody.

School to Hey, Dave. So I put this saxophone in that. It was good to learn. Like we covered a ton of Dave Matthews band songs.

And those are very difficult songs. Yeah, those are complex. Yeah. So it was taking me a while probably to whatever I review because sometimes we have to cover songs for the comedy jam.

Certain songs right away, I can just play them. I'll listen to it and I'll just get it down and transcribe it real quick. But some songs I have to like pause it and like listen to it so many times. I'm like, there's so much going on here.

Yeah. Yeah, it was tough stuff. Maybe we wrote our own songs too, but it sounded just like Dave Matthews band. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That was the song. Yeah. That was the song.

Yeah. That was a very fun time in my life being in that band. How many years? I started in my own friends band starting fifth grade and then I kept the same drummer in bass player up until college.

Wow. We were good. We were like getting gigs in like a Boston and New York selling tickets. We weren't like famous or anything but like we were good.

If your selling tickets that day. Just pretty for good. Yeah, I guess so. Didn't have a good voice just like Dave Matthews band.

Oh Dave Matthews from Dave Matthews band now. He's a good singer I don't like the tone. I don't like his tone But I don't listen to his look for his voice. I don't know why it sounded like very like Australian I don't like his tone.

I don't like his tone. I don't like his tone. I don't like it one bit He's got a new album out and it's I like it you like it. I do wait a second.

Is this one of the water bottle boys? Yes, right. I'm a whoa boy. Oh, oh my god.

I'm one of our boons characters. Wait a second What how long have you named Ryan do is all life? Oh, I didn't come out of our own until like two years ago I was fucking around with me make this Marcus. Oh, I like that guy right?

He's really funny Oh, and he was just talking in his voice and I came this is fun, right? And what are some fun words for this voice? Whoa, ah, whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh combined the tone Yeah, I love doing that voice that's a fun one that's that's one of your characters that I follow that are It's just a lot of fun to watch you. We're talking about like the walk that you do actually pains you because it's like so like yeah Rigid and quick.

They had you some intense physical comedy with that character. It's funny and like my wig shakes around a lot I started that walk just because I noticed the action of the way can always like all well Yeah, it's all over the place, but it hurts and like I break a sweat immediately shooting in LA I'm just shooting out the street last time we did a video cars kept on driving by I'm getting angry Oh, yeah, it's like the ruining takes yeah. Yeah, this is killing this walk is yeah You need to go back to doing my Instagram gym workouts. Yeah, I know it is off But yeah, you should see me like you know like joyful character being wacky then car driver by and I break like what the fuck Come on.

Can we just get this or what and I also do a character Kathy female character I'll break that character and then just like all right. You don't get some food But I'm like still dressed like a woman is that the lipstick one now. That's Alex Kathy is 46 years old 46 years old twice divorced She likes to go to the cheesecake fair to me and Jake McAvry Based on my dad's ex wife named Kathy Wow should have changed the name I've got a I've got a song coming out on the the Rigid and Watkins album the pattern I put now It's called stepdad and we didn't change the name of my mom's husband. Yeah, so it's it's Robbie It's gonna be on it's gonna be on my top my mom last night and she's like we'll talk about this later Oh, yeah, that's funny Robbie.

That's a youthful name is he seven. Mm-hmm. No, he's a man He's a man that my mom married nice. She's a good guy heard.

Yeah, okay Yeah, do you make fun of him in a song? No, it's more about the situation of like just the relationship of Of you know me like of a stepdad. It's more of a general thing Okay, like a relationship of a guy who's like becoming a stepdad who has to meet the son of the mom right yikes Yeah, which would be me in the song. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah never had a stepdad my mom after the divorce She never married again. So if you're interested in divorcing your wife my mom Ryan's mom is hot and on the market She's looking to fog Jeremiah and the doing in the morning next up. I'm gonna be marrying Ryan's mom.

Yeah Jeremiah gets hitched with the dune Jeremiah dunes what we're brother Yeah, she's cool. My mom's reason I became a comedian. Oh, yeah, she's cool But she's crying that girl straight up cry. Yeah for real dog.

That is great. That is great. That's right. What you are What a second I think every there's this thing that happens like um whenever I sing the inwards and parasong on this podcast JZ sometimes calls into the show and I think I think hove is actually calling in oh my god right now to the show.

Yeah Is this JZ? Dude, um, what's good? Wow? I'm sorry.

I'm a little star star. I can't believe that it's actually it's actually you Wow, JZ can I just say that I am so excited about your new music platform title? Oh man title is a big project I've been going to you know, it's so what kind of criticism you've been receiving? It's kind of hard to find and and it's not user friendly People say yeah, exactly.

It's hard to find It's not there. He was a friendly or he says so everyone's like why would I pay ten dollars a month for title when I can just get Spotify don't crazy, but come on Yeah, but do you think the title is going to self-employed soon because I'm a little bit worried it is facing a lot of criticism Don't tell me this title is gonna crash. I mean, that's your wordplay, but that might happen like I'm surprised there hasn't been headlines All right. All right, listen, listen.

Yeah, yeah Yeah, boy is home your boys the chicken man who Beyonce she got my back now Do you want to talk about how you were not how I hit how Zulan shit me? I mean well Okay, what I was gonna say how you weren't faithful. Well, we can talk about how salon show you well Yeah, infertility is yeah Like you made a lot of songs, so it's understandable like yeah Never really listen to the lyrics, right? It's very poetic Sometimes you get caught Back to my childhood in our projects if you hustling well, that's good advice for all the kids that are listening to this broad This podcast yeah, if you are doing something illegal just keep a low profile like the hove tells you and you know Keep looking up to you guys like Jay Z.

Thank you so much for calling the show Okay, what is it Jay Z? You're saying about I'm sure you appreciate it. Yeah, I'm sure I love hearing jokes I first I go bounce with me pass with me All right, so what do you call Whitney Cummings on a trampoline? What do you call what?

Bands sweetie Boy man, I say your boy during my walk is maybe I got that from you man so consciously. I don't know man It's always great having on you man I like it man. Well get your infertility checked out man because you might want to get the check because they might want a couple more kids Thanks, Jay Z man. That was cool.

Wait. What happened. Oh, you had to run to the restroom real quick Yeah, Jay Z actually called into the show and the fuck yeah, I do an impression Jay Z Do you? Well, I could have used you a second ago, but he just called a show He's actually a fan of the show and we were talking about title and you want to hear my impression?

No, not really man. It's a hey, Lois Graham you be hey says pretty good right dude spot on it's actually the Jay Z voice He's kind of similar to the beautiful fun fun cute story about my beautiful impression Okay, I did a show once in Los Angeles. It was a nightmare show the company's great I've heard so far sounds they put on music shows and they have a comedian often times I'm comedian to host the event They told me excuse me. It's perfect.

They told me. It's a CB salad It's a CB salad still enough. They told me The back of your throat is tin it's metal. I am a bionic man.

I am a man. All right quick. Go. Sorry Whatever, I did a show it was a nightmare show.

I was bombing and I used to have a joke I still do have a joke where my dad catches me under a drinking okay, sure. Holy shit. What was that? I am a robot.

Whoa, I told you I told you man in the back of my throat sometimes like like there's a little bit of a Sometimes the robot version of Jeremiah takes over look I'm a comedy robot like I can't help it like wonder like oh It works really hard. It's because I'm a robot. Oh, you're a machine continue with your story Ryan down Okay, well, this is kind of scary, but um yeah I was at this nightmare show bombing and I used to have this joke where I would imitate my dad catching me underage drinking And what did that sound like it sounded like direct quote from my dad real life story got me drinking He's like she's right. I come home from dinner and you're having to be a party and then someone after the show was like I do that love your Peter Griffin impression and I was like what and then Ha ha ha ha thank you Ever since then I adjusted my impression of my dad made it more Peter and now I incorporated Peter Griffin impression to the story So now your father is Peter Griffin.

Is that what you're trying to say my dad is Peter Griffin? Yes? Well, yeah, yeah, wow you don't sound that excited. I am so excited right now.

Hmm something about your monotone tin voice It's hard to read your tone, you know, this is the most excited. It's the most excited. I have ever been in my entire life Wow, my nipples are hard, but you don't have any nipples Ha ha ha ha. Jokes on you.

I have a robot nipples. Pink, pink. What gender are you? Robots do not have a gender.

Hmm, interesting. Jeremiah looks like a kendal in his underwear. It is a flat surface. Oh, I thought you were going to say he looks like a kendal in that he has a good physique, but there's no penis that makes sense.

No, there is nothing down there. Absolutely nothing. Except the window to another dimension. Whoa, that's cool.

What's the... Can you explain this dimension? This dimension is not for the weak of mind. Are you ready to experience what this dimension is?

Yes, please. This dimension is Candyland. Oh. Are you familiar with the board game?

I love that board game. This sounds great. Yeah. If you open the window to Jeremiah's below parts, you will enter Candyland.

That sounds good. You said it was for the weak of mind, but it sounds lovely to me. The weak of mind. Yes.

It can be. But sometimes it can be for the stronger mind is yourself. Some people who say that they are weak are actually stronger than they actually say they are. Does that make sense?

Yes. And it sounds like you've... Did you even aspire that a dafpunk song that Kanye sampled? Batter Fazbear's stronger.

Banger. Banger. Batter. Batter.

Baster. Stronger. Yeah. Yeah.

So dude, I blacked out for a little bit. I think the robot side of me took over a little bit more. I'm not really sure if even the robot side of me was making sense. I apologize.

No, it's fine. Are you okay? It was weird. I was looking to your eyes and I was like, no, no one was home.

There was a void of space. Yeah. That's what my wife tells me sometimes. Oh, yeah.

She's like, whenever I look at you, it's like I'm seeing nothing in there. And I'm like, thanks for marrying me, Dave. You know, I have a girlfriend now. Oh, yeah?