Has there any has there ever been someone who comes into your garage and they go no nope. Nope. I'm leaving not doing no But I've had a couple guests where I saw it in their eyes Only one since it's been in the garage pretty much anybody who does a lot of podcasting Knows that things kind of look better on camera than they do like and it all is it's all fake It's all I can tell you it's all right now, right? But on this half the garage it's very much like a studio on the front half the garage I've got some bins of my costumes and stuff like you like you commented on before we started podcast There was only one Guess who I had that like I could see the fear in their eyes like this is what I did in my living room back in the day It didn't mean that would be less scary.
No, it was This guy's walked in there like all right. Let's get to it They like did not one man or woman. It was a man nice. Yeah, yeah black or white white dude.
Yeah, that's the best kind of dudes So you heard I heard that I don't think that but I heard that somewhere. Yeah, I mean, you know, you know different opinions Yeah, yeah, right Or not leave it in but just know that I kind of thought about editing it out. So it's okay So the fact that are you thought about us setting it out? You know, he's a good guy.
Yeah, we'll leave it Yeah, leave it in but you guys know you guys know as the audience that we thought about from an editorial stance Like should we have that out but like then we're like no people understand that he has a good will he's gonna Yeah, you're part of the chosen people Jews Those now as good as whites right there at the bottom. Let's I mean apparently lately that's the trend that's what Kanye says and Kanye's ago You know Kanye's been saying a lot of stuff lately and You know, it's it's interesting to watch a guy go from literally at the top of the mountain to the bottom of the mountain to doing Tim Pool and Alex Jones's show which I would do too. They're awesome But I didn't think on your way would you have Kanye on your podcast today? Oh fuck.
Yeah, are you a lot of curse here? Yes, hey, man, you we go willy-nilly on this podcast funny everyone ask that on every podcast We a lot of curse but every podcast like yes a podcast you do it everyone. Yeah Yeah, that's like the fun of not being on a morning show I asked it because I know you're a dad you're a nice guy And you know that I screen all these episodes for my child is Gonna watch this. Oh, you know out here.
You're gonna tell not to you're gonna Hey, don't watch the Ari episode and then he's gonna say okay dad I won't and then you're gonna leave the house one day and you're gonna think he's out there looking out naughty videos any is The Ari episode. Yeah Yeah, there's definitely videos that he's gonna come across that I'm just be like just I'll tell you later dude like like your dad was doing weird experimental stuff. Just don't do this yourself. What does your dad do?
He do it. I mean most of the scissor bro stuff is so like I wouldn't really want my son I'm a lot of those challenges and stuff like that. Yeah, good point. Yeah, they go wild.
You're a wild man Hey, man, would you say you're a top 10 most wild comics in the game? I don't think anybody would say that about me. No, I'd say you are. Would you at least like on camera off camera?
I'd say you're not I okay. I agree. Okay. I could I see what you're saying Um, I would say as far as like Williness to first do something for the bit.
I think I'm towards the top of commitment level Yeah, yeah, three right right as far as that goes if it's a funny bit It's very hard for me as a comedian to turn it down if I know that it's gonna get big laughs It's very difficult for me. I miss the day. I don't you still do this I'm sure you've talked about a hundred times but the days where you would like dive into chairs and really just like hurt yourself Yeah, you're like an empty or are there you even go up on empty or is anymore? You got late night spots for a really like that anymore.
It's just it's different also because after the pandemic They don't let the show go as late. Mm-hmm So right even if I did like even if I am on like the later side like it's still have three spots before when I used to be going up Right, so even now like when some people complain about going up late and I'm like do you remember before the pandemic? This is like way better than we used to go up for a four-hour audience The audience have been there for four hours and there was four of them left. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, no, but yeah I used to do that. Yeah, I used to tackle chairs and tackle the stool and stuff like that Depending if it has to do with a bit or something all I'll do that now, but I used to just like do it I use my explanation I'm not diving to stool or chair for no one to you did it for no one for three people for three people and a Couple comics dying laughing in the back. Yeah, and then I wake up the next day.
I think Bruises all over my body and I'm like that killed for five people Yeah, it's wild man top 10. Thanks dude. Well, man. Yeah, I think you man.
I'd say you're more wild than Steve Oh now currently in 2022. I like see I'm not hating on Steve Oh, I'm a Siva fan, but I'd say I put you over a wild factor I disagree with you. He's still doing some pretty gnarly stuff. Yeah, he's more gnarly But you mean on stage.
Yes, that's exactly. I mean on camera or yeah, I think I see it. Yeah, cuz those are two Everything I take it back. I'm wrong.
I don't know where I was going with that Edit that out don't edit out, but just know I want to tell you anything on the lesson I know this you've been working on that Have you used that before? Yeah You heard that too many times I don't know I honestly I don't know if he does I genuinely am thinking if I heard that without looking if I would Thought I think I would think it was okay. You know what was a great test. Mm-hmm.
We called you know how Steve Which a lot of people say is Johnny Knoxville's counterpart, right? So Scott Randolph is the co-host of Steve Oh's wild ride and and Stephen Randolph was like dude I think we can I think your Steve Oh's good enough where we would like, you know Yeah, we could mess with him and we had him for the first like I want to say 15 to 30 seconds Because we called him from Steve's phone and I like it it's Steve Like we like did the whole thing and he was like but I just I just talked to you Like so you bought it for a little bit and then he's like there's no possible way I literally like I'm about to see you in five minutes like like but had the timing And we just got on lucky on the timing like other than that we maybe could have gotten it going for a little bit longer I need to go pick up for shape for me and Costa Mesa Super specific your wild see you that while Yeah, I've known you a freaking long time though. I don't remember meeting you, but yeah, I've known you forever Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I think back.
I remember meeting you. I just remember was it It was just like a potluck night at the you were coming in to do friends and family Because I think I moved here like right when you got past a friends and family. Okay, and I would have been you moved here on 2012 Yeah, 2012 And I would sign up for potluck Sunday Monday. Mm-hmm And I used to be two days to be two days and we just like met passing through a mutual friend or some of the age Am I already in with a nice to me?
Yeah, yeah, I'm not so patio comedy store patio comedy store there It is yeah, all the great meetings happen. Oh, yes Oh, yes, and you should do this thing that was pretty cool the the stand-up talk website Yeah, I stopped doing it, but it's not come back. I still in the domain I mean when I feel like when it was going people got a lot out of it for like what you did with it and stuff like that Like you put out you help out like Jamar neighbors album, which is pretty dope Yeah, no some cool stuff I think if I had actually kept with it it'd probably be you said people said with everything fine sort of podcast and years ago I don't know but no I think I had actually kept posting it was basically a stand-up blog yeah Kind of like the comedy bureau, but not is like open mic focused and more just like articles and interviews and stuff with comedians Sure, but yeah I was like it was like to nerd out on stand-up comedy was what it was because I was a big nerd I read and gadget which is about technology and gizmodo and those kind of web arts technical Mm-hmm, so I read a lot of those about tech and I was like oh, there's nothing that's just there's comedy ones But there was which I don't even know if there are any more but there were a few comedy ones But there was no stand-up one yeah, yeah, I know I'm gonna do this and Brad sacks a rest in peace No, he's with his family and he's a pretty quick comedy, but Brad sacks and I Which is like writing a new RIP for for for standards like yeah, I'd be like that's amazing. He just doesn't do comedy Yeah, he's dead toss now No, great guy he would come up with these just like catchy title like now I'm looking back I'm like I would read that right now and hate this article But it'd be like top five angriest comedians in LA tough I filed comedian like like titles like that right and then we would pick comedians And get them to retweet it they were all complimentary like top five comedians who crush top five crowd work I mean like things like that and we just list out comics and then tweet at them and tag them and repost it Yeah, mostly posting it how weird it was like what is this but we get traffic Sure after the same of course so yeah, I did that and then you know what I think I used to have a lot more free time And then I got here freaking busy guy man.
Yeah, I'm busy guy and then and then you know I started getting booked on a few shows I was like I don't need stand-up talking no more right that's right. I'm bored got tired of it Can you tell me about you did some videos about this online? But I want to I want to get behind this because I love a good prank and you did something with your parents that I couldn't really tell Where the line was of reality and where the bit be finished and began basically and it was Something to do with your parents cars. Yes.
I did a video where I give away my parents cars I say I'm gonna be generous here like I made out to be like I'm this generous guy Right, right giving away my parents and I'm gonna on behalf of my parents be generous and that intern They're gonna be generous because it's their cars and then so I gave car all their each car away to a different stranger And then at the end my mom comes home. She goes where the cars because my parents are rich Okay, so they've they've probably five I mean five. Yeah five cars. I'd say between the two of them Which is like that's good.
That's a good amount of car I mean you don't need to be rich to have five cars. They have five nice cars five nice cars and then also some couples Just the one nice car each is good and then there's a bonus car. You know pretty good. You got five between the two of you That's pretty so yeah, I got an SUV.
They each got some fancy convertible and yeah, they got ran cars So yeah, so give him away and then my mom comes and like where's the car? And I told her and she freaked out and was like you can't do this I'm calling the cops and like just that's just a funny little video one of those one of those vids where you pull a little prank But yeah, no the truth behind it watch the vid pause go watch that video come back now three I don't want to do any spoilers three two one the truth behind that video was all fake. Yeah, it was all 100% fake I I just had I think I was watching a lot of like tic-tock pranks in that yeah Yeah, yeah, I was like I got a prank idea But you got the real reaction of your mom on that's what everyone so a lot of people reach out to me I release that and they go hey, that's fake, but like good job pranking your mom She just she was great actress right it was fake. Oh, she did yeah, it was all fake.
Wow. She was really impressed I was like I'm impressed too cuz I saw the video and it's like she flipped out she flipped out she was pro And that was we did two takes both takes were really good. That was the second take so it did get better a second time But both takes were super Wow. Yeah, she was she was pro she's a lawyer and And it was a lot Jewish a lot of there a lot of Jewish folks in entertainment She grew up in LA and yeah, and she lies a lot so she was good.
She was natural She was pro. Yeah, I was like as it was happening. I was like impressed as it was like shit I have to be good now right she was good elevate my game Yeah, my mom is gonna be running for money. I a lot of people watch that like if I ever need a mom I'm casting your mom.
I'm like, you know, I'll drive up dude How funny would it be if your mom started getting cast a huge movie? I'm right I got this new movie. I'm like, oh, that's awesome, man. So I was wondering uh, can I get your mom's number?
To be I mean you be like yeah, yeah, do you need any like, you know younger guys? Well, you know, yeah Yeah, we I think we're pretty covered on that but uh your mom. I mean wow. She's breathtaking.
She works amazing. Okay. Yeah for sure What I've always liked about you in the scene not that you're funny and nice, you know, those are for me that those are like As far as like people who I want to work with and hang out with and be friends with funny and nice is at the top of that Pyramid sure you gotta be funny and nice right but below that I always respect people who are hard workers as well And you've always hustled and like been really good about like just figuring out different projects and just different different stuff that like works for you and I've also just really been enjoying your stand-up lately. Thank you.
Yeah, that's really really nice of you You're a role model always since I'm a player like I'm gonna be like Jeremiah one day so it means a lot I say that and it sounds sarcastic But I do no thank you that being said it's funny how I do come across as a hardworking guy and I think that's because I am Jewish and I put out content more than most people and I think I am hardworking compared to most comedians But really I'm not even that hardworking like I don't work eight hour days most of the 90% of the time most days I wake up at 11 I do a couple of things and I call it I'm not that hardworking but most comedians are so lazy Yeah, you do that much you look at it's hard working You don't need to do that much more than the average comic to really propel yourself ahead of yeah dude I know a lot of comics who they wake up and then they go to the show and then like did you write they're like mmm No, that's all they do. I'm like what do you mean you just woke up? It's crazy yeah, yeah, there's come there's comments who crush but they're doing the same ten minutes They're doing when I moved here ten years ago who knows how long they were doing before that and I have all jokes I get it's hard to write but there's some that literally haven't done anything else and they're still more successful than me So I get it what's it's hard to motivate yourself when you're comfortable you're making money and you're making the payments on everything You're like it's hard to be like well. Why should I write a new joke right?
I'm gonna do for me. Yeah, I forget I get bored you said it but some comic or somebody said like comfortability is is like the Destroyer of creativity or something like that. Yeah, it is and even for me like again I think I work harder than most comics and I try to put out calm you know comedy and content try to get to the next level of comedy Whoa, what was that? What was this?
It's just sounds a lame thing. You're trying to get to the next level of comedy Are you trying to get to the next level? I wouldn't say that I wouldn't say that Is most of the podcast just a guest playing with this toy sometimes listen man I go in the direction of where the guest leads us you know what I mean? Oh Oh my god, this is homophobic I love the realization of this effect is awesome and homophobic.
I just want to suck your dick. What? Okay, is it really changing? You're just want to be a gay All right, it seems like the effects are actually changing your point of view It's actually shifting rather than it usually just changes the voice it seems like it's also changing your sexuality as well Okay, um, wow the yeah the effects are there's cause and effects with that over there.
So just be careful, okay? This will be the whole podcast Well, you're a gadget guys, of course you would you say I gotta leave with something from the studio? I'm taking this that's something that you are pitching to me Before we started recording he goes, you know you got a lot of stuff in this garage What if you get start getting rid of stuff you start letting a guest take something? I'm like I said that's actually a very clever thing, but pretty much in this everything in this garage I do need for different things.
Mmm. It's mine now. Okay. Yeah, okay.
That's convincing. Yeah Yeah, I don't remember what we're talking about, but that's cool. Oh, just random stuff Comedy comedy bullshit. Yeah, I don't work hard a lot of people think I work hard.
I don't I'm pretty lazy But I'd like one day I'm gonna start working hard and then oh this world's in for a treat the floodgates are open I'm gonna get a six back abs. I'm gonna do you have a desire as a comic to get to get a six back ever I do you but not as a comic just as a person. I want to be Just if I had a six-pack dude first off, you know me, right? I love the ladies well earlier a second ago I love the men but now that that effect is off I'm back.
Can we talk about your love with the ladies sure? Yeah, is it is it time no no no no we'll get to that We'll get to we'll get to sex talk at the end, but you're one of those dudes who historically I've seen you get with a lot of women. Yeah, I mean Metal I think it's a lot for comics again. It's a lot for comedians and friends a lot for me Chair my walk.
Yeah, I was been with the same girl his whole life So like I've seen are with a couple different girls over the years or dating different women. I was like dude what? It's just insane if party you know does your wife listen to this yeah, I just want probably not anymore, okay She'll catch episodes here. So it's part of you when you see a guy like me like a guy, you know not that good looking like Yeah, I'm cute, but not like you know, I'm not sure anyone could look at me and could achieve what I could achieve, right?
So party when you see me lowering the bar for yourself. I'm very self-deprecate tip listen, you know when you have a piece of gum on your shoe And you walk into a barbershop. Yeah That's me that's me that's a great description never heard that before perfect. So when you see me with a couple of hot ladies Oh Think to yourself damn that could be me No, I don't really look at it like that But like you know, I think that you know the human side of me is like you think of your alternate timelines Yeah, that's a reality that's that could be me if there's a Jeremiah out there that that decided to go completely different path Try to go single I would love to be I would love to go into like, you know the spider verse like a multi-verse and stuff like that It would be fun to visit the other Jeremiah's right.
Yeah, that'd be cool I mean, it's not a good wish like if you were given wishes now. Do you actually believe in multi-verse? Is do you think there is another Jeremiah out there? That's hard for me to believe.
Yeah, I don't really I don't know But I've been I've been like reading like a book recently about have you heard of them? I'm just impressed you read a book recently. I'm so let's not there. Good job.
Honestly. Well, it's hard to read these I'm like a quarter done with it, but I'm I have not read a book in so long I'm like it's really hard for me to focus and just but anyway I'm reading this book about out-of-body experiences and people who believe that their the spirit is different is different from the vessel of your physical self and there is a lot of like interesting stuff in there about people who like believe in reincarnation So they're like yeah, I look like a fat guy, but really I'm chiseled my soul chiseled my soul identifies as chiseled. Yeah. Yeah, you don't know the real me This is the real this vessel.
No, I've had way better. I'm actually a hot babe with busty tits right right. Yeah Do you think any babe? I'm a hot babe with busty tits Has been uttered by a woman and like actually no Don't you think that like a babe with busty tits is definitely a guy thing?
Yeah Like I don't think a woman has ever said that. Yeah, that's how I would know like that's how I know your soul isn't a babe with busty tits The babe with busty tits would never say that. It's just a horny dude You got trapped inside a hot girl and now all these other horny dudes are trying to get with them That's the reincarnation that the karma that they've to live with you know where that is gonna happen Not the multiverse but the metaverse. Yes, that's where I'm gonna have busty-titted women with this voice machine right here Yeah, and you're gonna go in there and you're like man.
I'm at this hot chick on the metaverse today when really you're just talking to me At the bottom of a shoe head of barbershops That's all you're talking to so welcome to your future. It's me. I'm gonna be getting a lot of dudes. Hello, mister, right?
Yeah, dude That's um the metaverse is a very weird thing where I do think we are kind of headed in a direction of that ready player one future for sure Where everybody's obsessed and consumed about when they can get off work to get into the metaverse and that's gonna be like their escape It's like kind of kind of weird because I've done some VR Uh, and I don't like the effects of when I come out of VR. I feel really like I don't get sick But it's hard to explain that goes away. So you see red band show on YouTube So red band live streams probably like five days a week from like 11 p.m. Till two in the morning the virtual red Yeah, virtual red band where he goes into the VR It's kind of like the beta version of what it's gonna be right now It's avatars, but soon as you know, you're gonna be able to be hot chick or do like red band his character is uh Wendy's Wendy from Wendy's the mascot with big busty tits and then it's red pen talking while he shifts a stroke every night but but But the v2 of that is gonna be it's gonna be a more realistic more realistic But yeah, the first few times you go into VR.
It's uh It's yeah, it's like it's like discombobulating and you you feel weird and you get you kind of get nauseous a little bit I felt like when I took it off that I was tripping like the real world was stripping Does that make sense? Yeah Because when I went when I drove I was actually at red dance place when he was still living here in Burbank I did VR for the first time like for an extended period time was like 20 or 30 minutes And when I took it off I felt all weird and kind of loopy and when I drove home I felt like I was in a video game and it freaked me out because yeah That's that's real life, but it felt like you know, just like the way I was moving and stuff was not true me Yeah, it was very bizarre. I don't know how to explain it. Yeah, I know what you're saying I think that'll go you'll get more used to it as you do it more But at the same time VR is gonna get so much more realistic and then yeah What if you kind of like are used to the thing you might be in VR for a second then you crash your car it could happen Well, yeah, you start feeling like you're kind of more invincible in that world like there's literally like the the those Games where you can walk the plank and stuff like that and you can jump off buildings and fly and stuff like that Yeah, what's to start messing with people's heads like who are doing VR every day that then stop differentiating reality versus Especially if they're on like a drug or they're mentally ill for some reason for it And then combine those things mentally ill and drugs probably is not gonna mix with the VR world Not that well, but you know it all it'll uh weed out the week So I'll wait a look at it.
Yeah, you gotta think glass at full the people that died from that Hey, you weren't ready and you know, that's what I've always liked about you is half-glass full kind of guy Yeah, you got it. You got it. What's the point? What's the point being negative all the time?
True. I mean, dude, you're preaching to the choir at this point Yeah, and I'm negative a lot but I try to catch myself and go you know what? I'm glad those people are dead What's the most negative you've been in the last year About something uh I don't know. I don't have like a specific moment, but sometimes you just wake up feeling bad for yourself Sometimes you wake up and go.
Why didn't I get this? Why isn't this girl want me? Why? Whatever it is.
Why do I why am I sick? Why me? But then you got to snap out of it do some push-ups drink a glass of water Clean yourself off on a bath and you're back, baby. You lost me a bath or you'll bath guy Oh, here's here's the stuff if you're having a bad day And you could use this too, but it's for the audience.
It's not for you, but you could use it Because you don't have bad days. You're you're one of those guys, but your bad day is like most people's okay days Perspective, but yeah, yeah, so if you're having a bad day if you suffer from real depression Like a real depression Here's what you do you buy a pair of white sneakers that you keep in your closet for this bad day You don't wear them They're literally never worn until you have the day when you need them you put on your fresh white all white sneakers The kind where you see people in your life. Why do they have those? It's because they're having a bad day You wear you wear the white sneakers you have a glass of water you do some push-ups and you take a bath It'll make it at least 20% better At least it's one of those so crazy of my just work I mean if you put it out there, why not I promise you'll feel better There is something there is something even if you're not a vain person at all about putting on shoes They're brand new that look very nice.
You're just like oh, okay Feeling kind of good in these and it's something about the all whiteness It makes you feel rich because it's so dumb to wear all white shoes because you can only wear them two times before they get A little dirty. Yeah, but you the first couple times you wear them you go Man people are gonna think I'm rich and you just feel like this guy that people don't even know about It's a theory. It works for me. It works for me.
This is some good Tony Robbins advice here But you can't abuse it if you start wearing white sneakers all the time. They're not gonna mean anything to you You can't just start wearing white sneakers. It's like drugs. It's like you do heroin it feels great But you can't start doing it every day.
Do you still do your show on licensed therapy at all? Yeah, it's not as consistent as I'd like but yeah, I do it You're good at that. Thank you. You're good at giving a licensed therapy I want to mix it so right now on licensed therapy is mostly a normal podcast where we just talk With a little splash of so what's going on, you know with that right?
But I'm gonna switch out the format because I think you might have seen this on my Instagram I've been posting clips every day on my podcast. I've lost 200 followers People don't want it and they're good clips. There's there's good clips as anyone But from I experience people are done with the podcast clips Unless it's like this banger clip where you're like preaching something inspirational or so off the wall funny They're like sharing it with their friends if it's even just like kind of funny or pretty good. It's hurting me Yeah, that's interesting.
You got it. We got to make it different. Yours is different You add a lot of special types. You got the voice changer.
I need to make mine more different So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna get like a therapy Couch and a chair and make someone actually lay down Yeah, we're gonna lay down with headsets and lay down and really turn it into a therapy session Okay, really lean into that's a good call. Yeah, speaking of that gimmicks. Let's give it to this next second. Let's do it wig Go to state with you.
Thank you I think that that it's a Really convenient sizzler here in Burbank Yeah, I bet you do. It's just it's such a good deal. I always all fall and stuff after it What do you mean by phone stuff? I need so much other fried cabbage and it just stuffs me up.
Fried cabbage? Okay, well, I'm just trying to get to know you a little bit better Do you are you a mediator? Are you vegetarian? Where do you keep working?
You're so funny with the looking Looking just you're so silly. I Well, Brenda, uh, I'm really really happy that you decided to swipe in my direction Yeah, I actually gave my phone to my daughter and she swiped guess on you and I was like, no, no, no, not him But I'm glad she did because you're a nice man. Oh, that's very sweet. I was your daughter Okay, glad you're here.
She's a teenager, but let's just focus on me and don't be creepy So you let your daughter swipe for men as a 14 year old Yeah, that's a bonding exercise and you know, she has to like the men I'm with as well So she doesn't like you and we can't beat it. Oh, okay. She saw maybe a stepfather like quality about me Where are you taking this stepfather business? You're well I was just saying like maybe if things go right then, you know, maybe you could maybe be together.
I might have a step daughter This is the first date we've been on and you're talking about step daughter and filling me up with frad cabbage I didn't say anything about trying to fill you up with cabbage. It's just You're moving fast and I love it. Let's get out of here. Okay.
I want to I'll tell you everything I want to do to you, all right? Okay, okay. Okay. I want to paint your nails and call my accent teller.
I'm happy You don't have a gag reflex. Do you It's turning this turned into an erotic improv session It's just this voice just makes me so freaking I just said that I wanted to paint your nails and call my accent teller I'm happy And then uh, he started looking at me a certain way and then I asked you if you had a gag reflex I think we need to slow it down here and just right go back to eating our sizzler. What are you gonna get? What do you gonna order?
Uh, I think I'm gonna get the uh, the champion What's that was not champion? You never had the champion meal Uh, it's their porterhouse steak Twice baked potato, bacon bits Can you garlic aioli all that can you stuff your body with that? What's up with you and stuffing? You like getting stuffed?
I just Something about being all stuffed up and filled to my brim really just makes me so happy and cheerful Do you like stuffed crust? Oh pizza, huh? You're the one. Do you like stuff but?
But stuff you like but stuff stuff but but stuff Uh, that's not really comfortable. Do you think we should get a check and get out of here? Let's get the check and get out of here. I'm uh, Feeling a little I'm just feeling myself right now.
Okay. Yeah, very full. All right. Well, Brenda.
Thank you for this date I wonder if someone else was listening to us talk how they're feeling right now, you know, sometimes I think about My neighbors walking by the outside of this sizzler that we're in And I wonder if they think I've completely lost my mind Yeah, if like the server heard us what he think like they're gonna make it as a couple or what he think what the hell is going on? Right, and I think we're gonna make it. I think I'm ready. Leave my husband for you I thought you already did.
Yeah, I wouldn't have taken the state out. I know that you were still with you I told him I was taking a break, but I think I'm gonna tell him it's done. Just after this one date. Yeah Okay, I'm going to calm, calm and the state.
That's how it means stuff me up. I'm gonna build me and I'm done Okay, it's amazing who Sizzlers awesome like sizzlers great. How come more people don't there's no people crap on it. Yeah people crap on it I don't get it's actually good.
It's good. It's a good deal too. Yeah, you're rather champion No, but after hearing that hearing about I really wanted I hope they have that on the menu. Oh, okay I believe it Missing You really you really commit people say I'm a wild guy your top 10 wild guys more wild than steve.
Oh, I reckon Yeah, no, I take it back. But you're both wild I thought it should have been you as a first female jackass member Rachel's great, but I thought you'd be a good first female jackass. That would be an awkward thing That that's how I come out as a female Is so I could bookjackass Would you like your what's your dream role s&l? Is that still a dream of yours?
Yes, and no, it's it's like um it's kind of hard because It's such a different show than what I have built up in my head from as a kid Does it make sense and you learn about the insides and the politics and everything going on there And you don't love it quite as much to do in your kids So I think that I still would love to do that But I think that It's just shifting a little bit with I would prefer to have my own sketch out this point Okay, so number one having your own sketch out would be your number one goal Now would you be willing to become a woman for that goal? Like actually start identifying as a woman you wouldn't have to get your penis removed But you would have to identify as a woman and you would have to take hormone pills. Yeah, I would do it now or this I'll get there. I do it everything that I do It's the hard way It's just it's just I go either back door it or I I go the long way around But what if after the show is done filming you could stop taking the pills and identify as a man again Would you do it for like a year?
No, because That would like The people in that community it'd be so upsetting for for people to be like uh, let me have you tried it I don't think so you spread awareness. You're not insulting it You're like hey identify as a woman for the year and then you'll get changed by mine Can you do that? Oh, yeah, there's a lot of people who regret changing genders and then they go back Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's a common thing or they kill themselves.
It's a high suicide rate Amongst people who change genders really it's that a lot of people they're like I feel like I'm a woman I feel like I'm a man and they switch they get the whole gender surgery everything go through all the steps And then they realize fuck that's not what I wanted to do and then they're incredibly depressing to kill themselves Not all of them, but it's a high percentage. It's very sad interesting Yeah, well, it's because what can happen I guess is if that's if something is bugging you and what if that wasn't the thing Do you know what I mean? It could be that because then you do all the things and then you're still not happy then Yeah, so yeah, you just gotta be sure you know one of the saddest comedians I know I don't want to say his name But he always really wanted to make it in comedy and then he made it he was all his dreams came true He's a star selling out theaters doing live in the dream and he's the saddest he's ever been and it's because he realized oh that That didn't make me happy either. So what well like now I don't know what would make me happy Oh, so it's like one of those things where it's like you before you change genders before you change before you change genders You got to figure out how to be happy with the gender that you are and then change genders But if you're changing genders just to give yourself happiness, that's a big risk.
It's a big risk It might still not make happy. You might you might feel like you're the gender you're supposed to be but that's not that doesn't make happy Yeah, well, yeah, just self-care in general is important before you make any big life decisions. It's important man Get a pair of white sneakers take a bath dude if you're out there and you're not the gender you want to be first before changing genders Where brand new pair of white sneakers? Do you are you a bath bomb guy?
I tip I like bath bombs, but I don't always have them available. I'm not always prepared Normally when you don't identify as a woman When I'm in a bath bomb a woman when I take that side Let's go girls know me I take baths on the road is when I do my baths because there are a lot of baths in hotels Yeah, and I bath about homes not to cleanest or nice as bath though So I'll be on the road and I'll be like any of a lot of free time to your in your hotel room all day true I'm like I'm doing more time to get that. Yeah, so I take about and I just use their soap dude I Did this one bath on the road one time because like it was one of those where the bath was like in the room next to the bed Oh nice It was like one of those random hotels and I was like oh I'm treating myself I poured all the soap in the bathtub and it had like jets in it and stuff like that Oh, this is a nice road. I don't remember where I was staying.
Vegas maybe probably something like that Yeah, yeah, and I had a lacroi and I drank it while I was in the tub and I felt like the richest man on earth So rich dude and it was like you know a 50 cent can or 75 cent can of lacroi because here's the thing if you make $25,000 a year that's like the poverty level if you're like a minimum wage employee or you make a million dollars a year Both those people would enjoy a bubble bath on lacroi. Yeah a lot It's still one of the best things you could do. Yeah, no matter what your net worth is true So that's pretty cool to think about right. It's like in 2022 You don't need to be rich you can have a little apartment And you can still have a big screen TV with access to good sound any movie in the world You can still get delicious food delivered on an app to your phone like life isn't that much different when you're rich Yeah, you have a nicer car you travel more you have a bigger house.
You don't need that That's what I think about sometimes for the people who are like like middle Well-known famous to like mega famous. I'm like isn't it kind of better to be sort of like middle famous You know, I don't wait. Yeah, you don't have to get recognized on street everywhere. You could be a normal person.
Yeah You're yeah, you're not also I think when you're really rich everyone tries to take advantage of you and like use you Yeah, in some ways like it came even help it's not even that people are bad But even me like when I'm around a rich famous person in my head, I'm like, oh, I hope they like throw me a bone I think I can't help but think that I'm not like out there trying to network I'm not a network guy But it's like when I'm if I'm in the presence of of of arse floor and savior joe rellgen I can't help but think like he can snap his fingers and change my life I can't help but have that thought in the back of my head sure I can't help but think oh man I'd love to do his podcast. It's so huge like think about what that would do for me And I'm not even like trying to use people I'm not even like that But you can't help it the thoughts pop in your head because it's just It's just in front of you and and also you've seen it around you probably you've seen people who changed their whole lives Going on that podcast. Yeah, so it's better So all I'm saying is he lives a great life. Don't you ever only trade for his life in a second?
Oh, it's what bodies with him I do a spell if I could cast a spell on be Joe Rogan His man. We can't be like Joe Rogan, right? But what I'm saying is I'd probably rather just be like the middle of the road Is that a bad attitude? No.
Yeah, I don't think so. I'd rather be a uh Like I'm trying to think what comedian I'd really like to be maybe like a I don't even know Eric Griffin. Maybe that level of status. Oh, let's go.
Okay. He's got a great life Oh, yeah, he's got a hot wife. Yeah gets fucked the time. He's for all the time Yeah, goes on the road when he wants does the road when he wants gets cast and shit Yeah, has a podcast he's doing it But it probably still gets recognized enough to like inflate his ego and make him feel good But not recognize enough to where he like can't go places.
Yeah here that Eric Griffin Yeah Or he wants to be you I want to be a real fan. I want to be a good one. I go out who would you swap bodies with what comedian? Whoa, yeah, I thought of a better one than Eric Griffin.
Mark Norman better. I'd be I'd be Mark Norman He's gonna theaters. He's got a six-pack. Oh, yeah, I'd thought by his uh, huh He's a nice chill dude.
You're just he's more chilling. He just backed out for merit Griffin. Yeah, I like Eric He's nice, but mark Norman's chiller Sorry continue with you do it with It's same. Oh, he's yeah fan like he in my opinion is if you He's okay If you are going to have to be a megastar not that like I don't know if any of us are wanting to be like that famous where you get Stop that dude gets stopped everything.
He can't he can't go out But what I like about how he handles his fame He will wear sweatpants on and baseball cats where's whatever he wants on late night shows and everybody's a super hot wife Yep, nice guy super nice and talk about somebody who figures out roles for his friends and Make some movies and makes whole productions with people who he wants to and his trajectory as far as like career sketch Excuse me stand up sketch Movies yeah, that to me. I'm like dude that guy's career is like as far as like Making things and doing stuff like that like I love what he's also other cool stats About him jewish republican Yeah, pretty cool. Wow pretty cool. There you go.
Dude. Well, he's made so much money. He doesn't want that mess with that's probably Yeah, you know, it's for sure. Yeah.
That was a bunch of money. I think he has like Probably a billion. I don't know probably a billion dollars probably literally a billion. No, no, of course he has that a billion he has to Anyway, this has been the uh stroking off of comedian's egos section Hey, glad you want to be me Mark.
Hey, me too Perfect. All right. Thanks. All right.
Thanks for having us. Let's get into this final segment. Okay. We have another one Sax talk.
Oh, that's right. Okay All right, welcome back to sax talk. Are you gonna share a story of a sexual encounter? Well, I'm gonna play some sweet sweet sax along with him and whenever you're ready We'll do it up.
All right. Well, this story here is a story that when it happened to me I thought I would I would never share with anyone not my family not my friends certainly not on a podcast for the world to listen to But I'm now at the point in my life where I just don't care anymore about anything and With that being said, this is a story about the time I went to the red light district in Amsterdam in the Netherlands It was a rainy night And I was in Amsterdam in the Netherlands opening up for field on And I said hey, do you want to go window shopping? That's what they call it. That's where the hoars are the prostitutes And he said, nah, man, I've already done that But you should do it and I was like, okay, and then still I was like, I don't want to do this alone I don't want to go by myself and look at prostitutes like that's weird that's sad I called my younger brother and I said hey, I'm an answer.
Damn. I was thinking about going to the red light So he was kind of weird. He goes listen you might never be an answer to him again for the rest of your life This is your only opportunity or single you're in your 20s. You're there.
Go do it. Go do it. You'll regret it forever You got to do it and I thought to myself. Yeah, he's right.
He's so right So I left my hotel room and I walked to the rain and I went to the red light district and even on the rainy night There was a lot of women in these windows. There was a lot of tourists out there window shopping as they called it There was shrooms there was weed and there was hookers I passed all the windows Looking at these potential ladies of the night And I thought you know what this is like like my brother said this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity I don't mess this up. So I did a whole nother lap I did a lap two around the whole red light district and I was like, she's the one that one right there On the first floor on the first street. She's beautiful.
She's gorgeous. She's a 10 That's a girl. She's busty. She's brunette.
There's a girl. I wouldn't be able to get in real life There's a girl without paying for her to do things to me It would never happen So I went in I knocked on the window. She lets me in And I said right hey, I'm new to this but I really like I really like you and I'd like to see what services you offer And she goes do you want sex for 60 euro? And I said yeah, yes, I do And I didn't know How would I said do you give a blowjob as well?
And she said yes, yes, I do and I said okay And do I need to wear a condom? At this point the whole tone in the room changed and she no longer was interested me and she goes of course you wear a condom Of course what kind of stupid question of course you were kind of and I said okay, I'm so sorry I didn't know I've never done this before I'm so sorry. I'll wear a condom. Of course.
I'll wear a condom Janze me a condom in a little packet of lube and I put on the condom in the lube and I start making love to this woman and she's mission We're making love me and this Amsterdam prostitute are in her little miniature brothel on her bench on her cushion bench I'm just making love to this woman and her bra is still on and I reach down to Grab her big busty breast And in this moment she pushes my hand away and she goes that's 20 euros extra if you want my breasts That's 20 euros extra and I said okay. I'm so sorry. I I don't need your breasts And at this point I I lost the half-direction that I was able to Arouse in the beginning and I said thank you so much for your time that was amazing and I I ended the sexual encounter and I left That was my trip to Amsterdam and I did stand up and I was awesome sold out theater dude Oh my goodness Yeah, how are you supposed to have any I mean if you're getting yelled at Some people are into that I guess but she did not like me and she did not even pretend to like me for money She was nope you suck. I hate you and I was like okay.
This didn't do much for me. Yeah And I'll be not that wasn't the worst sexual experience I've ever had but it was bad It was one of the worst top five top five top five were sexual experiences. I've ever had probably three or four What's in your top four? There was a bloody experience.
There was a Experience where I thought we might have to go to the hospital. There's been a few there's been a few bad experiences But oh, there's been some std scares. Oh But that one that was a good one. That was light-hearted was it was a silly one You know everyone everyone knows about the red light district You know what in that one I think I came across as a good guy and the prostitute came across as a bad guy and I like being a good guy I like you being a good guy.
Thank you. Yeah, I think our listeners like you being a good guy too. Yeah, I'm a good guy Yeah, like you said the very beginning of the podcast. We thought about editing something I'll be you guys knew his intentions and I've never been back since I want you guys know that too if you're out there and you're thinking like oh what a scumbag like you got to live and learn and I got that out of my system Right.
Well, all right. We're working people find you on social media and all that stuff. Just my name Ari Manus I'm everywhere. I'm on all the social media platforms.
I got a website. I'm around the country doing standup I'd love to see out there on a show. Tell me about your prostitute stories comment below your prostitute story Yeah, exactly if you're still with us right now comment below your prostitute stories And you go on the road a lot with with Theo lately open for Theo sometimes open for mark Norman sometimes open up for fajim And war sometimes has been on the show. I've opened up I'm opening up for um your k this weekend in Canada I open up for a lot of people occasionally I go out on my own, but I'm mostly at the feature level right now Awesome.
Well, you're very funny dude. Go check out Ari watch his standup clips. They're great. Love you pal Thanks for doing a show.
Thanks for having me. Love you too