Oh, okay. They only play exclusively Beach Boys on this channel. That's interesting. It's the Beach Boys channel.
It's weird. I feel like the guy's talking to me right now as I'm listening to him. Thank you, personally, Jeremiah, for tuning in at Theory 6M. You have now subscribed to the Personal Plan, and we commented every need that you need, and we saw you in our red sweatshirt today, and we figured you need it in a little Beach Boys!
Yeah, I wonder if the ads on this Station or all Beach Boys themed. That'd be crazy if I went to commercial break, and the Beach Boys were selling products and stuff like that, but... Oh, it looks like an ad's coming up. Have you ever been stuck in traffic and been like, man, my windshield wipers are terrible, but no more white boy than ready days with the Beach Boys new windshield wipers for you?
It's a rainy day, but you got your windshield wipers! That's people who's windshield wipers. Turn my heads up and I thought, I brought some shit out of you, so just watch out for that. Okay, well, I'm getting a little tired of this Beach Boys Station.
I think I'm gonna listen to my favorite Theory 6M Creed Station right now. Sorry, you just threw that at me! I don't know! Do I have a free word?
If Creed is what you're looking for, we can point you in the right direction. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Beach Boys covers Creed songs from 9 to 5.
What is it, Jeremiah? Oh, no, no, I'm curious. Beach Boys covering Creed? Yeah, first, give us a Creed song suggestion by pressing 8 on your dial.
Okay, well, this is probably my favorite one is maybe like higher. Like, if the Beach Boys covered Creed's higher, that'd be pretty great. Welcome back to Channel 8 DJ Sounds from the 90s! DJ Sounds from the 90s, there better be some squirt sound effects for sure.
If you want to subscribe to the Platinum channel and get all squirt effects, please press. What squirt effects? I think you have better knowledge of these potential effects over here than I do. Jay, when did you get here?
Oh, I've been here, dude. You haven't? I was just kind of chilling, I'm sorry I'm a little bit late. I was in my car and was driving in and was listening to some of my favorite Theory 6M stations.
You know what my favorite thing about you is you do that thing where you're like, hey, get to the studio, you set up and then I'll leave my house and drive around and get back. And it's great to, I figured you'd get here soon. Yeah, you know what? Cheers.
Cheers to you, big boy. Do you find yourself calling people things that you call your kids just when you're around other people? Like I just called you big, why would I call you big boy? Why?
You know what I mean? I don't think I've experienced that yet, is it dad? But that's something that I can look forward to I think. Yeah, sure.
Like, you're at restaurants, how you doing, sweetie? You're like, sorry, I have a dog. You don't have a, well, because you call yourself a sweetie. I could, yeah.
Oh, the running joke that I have with my wife right now is her pregnancy symptoms have been really different for the second boy. We really thought that it was going to be a girl. She's like, I think it's going to be a girl. The pregnancy symptoms are different.
Turns out we're having a gay boy. Yeah, that's it. That's all it is, dude. She's more emotional.
You must crush by doing different, the characters that you do, you do characters all the time with the kids. Yeah, I mean, he gets a kick out of the different, I mean, also he really believes I'm a monster when we do a monster play. Like when I'm chasing him, he for a minute, like, he'll lean into it, but he'll be like, He's really running and something like that. Yeah.
In therapy, in 25, you know, my dad used to transform into a monster. I mean, who knows? I do. I mean, I don't do characters like you do them, but my daughter, she's taking a shower and she's got super long hair.
So I got to do her conditioner. It's just like not happening. So I'll go to like the back of the shower and I'm like, okay, thank you for coming into this. Let's do the conditioner.
My name is Milo. I do the conditioner and she just looks like that. I'm like, come on, let's do the conditioner. My name is Milo.
And I go, but Manuel, he will be doing the rinse. Okay. So I do the condition. Okay.
And I do it. I'm like, okay. So very soon Manuel, he'll be here. Okay.
And I shut the back of the curtain and then I go to the front. I'm like, hello. My name is Manuel. I am the appearance.
Thank you for coming in today. I understand. I know that you're condition. And I used to do that driving around with the kids all the time.
I'd be like, we're driving around one day. And they usually love when I do characters. Yeah. You know, so we're just driving around one day and I go, okay, tell me what you want to know.
You take a look at the window. You see something you see you ask me. I tell you what it is. Why?
Because that's what it is. And they'll be like, dad, no, nope. And I'm like, I'm on what do you see? And then they'll be like, I see a purple truck.
I'm like, I'm not purple. And then I go into this thing and they're like, I don't want to be in a tour guide truck right now. Right. Okay.
So I'm actually thinking about getting a haircut soon. Could I maybe see your friend Paulo for a second? Could I maybe like, well, I don't know. I don't know what kind of haircut you could get.
It's a listen, Paulo. I know that you've been in the business for a long time. I'm the I'm the I'm the and I'm not really sure what I should do. I'm thinking about changing hairstyles.
Do you have any recommendation for me? I know. Of course, I'll ask. I don't know.
But I think for you, I mean, you've longed in here. You know that you're here long at any and maybe by you do something. It's my baby. We do a dream.
We do like we do what we've faded up. We've faded up and then we go along and up and then like more messy on top. It's a little bit too pristine right now. It's a very, very pristine.
Yeah. I like a messy for you. Yeah. I like a messy for you.
You want to mess it? I like a by the way. Why is everybody always say I like that for you? That's a good thought.
Yeah. But do you like it for yourself, Paulo? I don't know. I like it for yourself.
I like it between the messy and the straight down. I like to play in any environment. Okay. Any room.
Yeah. So it's kind of like soccer indoor and outdoor year round. I do about that. We're right come from it's a football.
Is this how you do this? Yes, that's how you drink out of a can, Paulo. Okay. Yeah, dude.
The last time you're on here, it's been a freaking minute we were talking about before you joined. Yeah, we're in completely different places in our lives at this point. I didn't have a child before the last time. No, you came to the no, no, we were still I wasn't married.
I don't think dude. You hadn't even met your wife. Dude, I don't even know if I had got their puberty yet, man. Honestly, bro, if it's been a minute, but if I think back, I don't even know if you were walking it.
You're still crawling. I think you know what? When you did this podcast last. Yeah.
I was in a baby. Be around your chest. Hey, dude, it was so uncomfortable the whole time. Like you had your little baby Mike.
I had my mic. I just had bad Mike, you know, technique. I kept like, you know, not being able to hold it properly. Yeah.
It was a thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
No, I'm on it. It was a long time ago. It was a minute. It was a minute ago for sure.
You just did a stand up on the spot at the store. I had so much fun with you. Dude, it's the greatest show. It is so fun.
I said to you. And so I said earlier, it just gives you Nick. It legitimizes crowd work in a way that like, you know, sometimes people, I mean, some people love crowd work. Other people like, yeah, it's just an excuse to not.
I have a buddy who used to be a really great stand up and he doesn't do stand up as much anymore. And he's like writing and he's at deals. He's great. And this is like six months ago.
He goes, how was your set last night? I'm like, dude, so fun. Crush. Top to bottom.
I just a crowd work the whole time. Just like, I was in a loose mood. He goes, yeah, of course you crushed. Don't cry work.
For sure. So easy. You're a professional J and they're just civilians walk, you know what I mean? And he just looks at it like, yeah, it's the easiest thing to do.
And I agree. It's fun because like if you can just, you know, I think also as an audience, they get swept away with like, oh, this is happening right now. Sure. You know, whereas like that's sometimes the illusion of stand up is like, you're like, oh, we're making it look like we're coming up with it on the spot.
Yeah, but it's an upon the spot. Everyone knows you're going to do it and then they give you the topic. It's and it's everyone's mind is different. Like, I watch Mark Norman's clips when he goes to the audience and just tells him.
He doesn't even riff. He straight up gives jokes back like written, formulated jokes and just like blown away by it. He thinks in punch lines. Yeah, dude.
He's wired his his brain and his comedic voice in a way where that's how he talks because he's he works so much as a writer, like just writing writing writing. So, you know, he's molded his brain into being like, yeah. And I watch that. I'm like, that is not what I do.
I just like, riff. I joke like if we were just like in a living with friends, you know, trying to hit. You get it. You guys get it.
Come on. This guy gets it. Come on. Oh, you should call him.
You should call him. And here. I'll call him. Yeah, you want to call him?
Yeah. And you talked to him. I'll see if he's there. Hold on.
Okay. Yo, Norman. What's up, man? It's Larsen.
Yeah. I'm over here with Jeremiah Watkins. We're just talking about your standup style. I mean, well, yeah.
Yeah. But we were saying like you think in punch lines, but we were just wondering like, you know, if you thought is everything in a punch line, like when you like go to the drive through? Like if someone if they ask you anything, like, you know, hey, what can I get for you today? What would your normal response be?
Yeah. What about like with your folks? Like, is that something with your mom called? And she's just like, hi, Mark.
I was just thinking about you. Who's this floozy? A lot of girls think about me. All right.
Hold on. I got another call. Hello. Yeah.
Well, I called you two days ago and you didn't get back to me because, you know, I talked, you know, I went into my salon and Balot had told me that you were maybe who I should call. Greens. Because you can get a rubola. Why is that?
Okay, right. Well, he just basically said that, you know, I had this crown put in and it's like, you come to see me. You start wearing. Oh, like, yeah.
I mean, this is. Okay. I my teeth. I don't do.
He said, you know, someone with you do teeth work. Did you do that as well as getting people greens? Fashionista. God.
Oh, fashionista. Okay. Yeah. Were you located, by the way, just out of curiosity.
Oh, he said you were born and raised in Glendale. That's. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I still need it. Okay. When do you think he'll be no longer on the run?
Okay. I can squeeze you into my very. All right. Are you free up at 11?
I think you're very busy. Very busy, but for you, I make time. I've never been a customer. Is what you my favorite to you.
No customer. I like how you do business. Verde. Hey, what's up?
Sorry, man. But for so long, I got my own car. Yeah. Yeah.
I had a call work called and I appreciate you picking up and we'll just check in you another time, right? All right. Sounds good. See you later.
Later. So how are you doing, Jay? I'm well. Do you say I'm well?
I do. Yeah. I try to say that over. I'm doing good because it's not grammatically correct.
I know, but some people don't care. They just say I'm good. I usually say I'm doing well. I'm doing well.
You're all right. I'm doing all right. What if someone hits you with what if you hit someone with hey, how you doing? And they go, I'm good.
How about you? Do you hit them with a well or do you feel bad like you're throwing it in their face? Yeah. I mean, I'll sometimes mirror.
I'm like, I'm good. Yeah. I'm good. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. I was better before you said good, but it's good. Yeah.
But it's fine. No, no, we can both be good. Yeah. Yeah.
No, I I will I mirror energies a lot. So somebody's like, I mean, if I can tell that somebody's not having a great day, I'm not going to be like. Fantastic. Yeah.
Like somebody's like, yeah, what's going on? I'm not going to be like, dude, I had the best day today. I'll lower my energy. Oh, yeah.
Does it make sense? It does make sense. I'm in a weird place with that because I used to be I'm the same way. But then I got to a point where I'm like, so why do I have to like, I still want to be able to be okay?
Right? I mean, because I am okay, but I totally I respect that and I feel that as well. I like that for you. For me?
Yeah. I'm telling you, I hear that more now than I've ever heard it. I really like that for you. And you're like, what?
What does that mean? You know what I'm thinking about doing? I'm thinking about getting into like paper machine. Oh, I really like that for you.
And then you're like, why why wouldn't you start it up? I started interviewing fasting. I really like that for you. That's good for you.
Yeah. Yeah. What's a hobby recently or something that somebody said that to you about? Oh, I mean, I want to I want to get into like model building.
And I've mentioned it to people like, but designing like little homes and making them out of just making little homes like little models. I think that'd be good for you. You're not my psychiatrist. I think that would be good.
I think that would really work. You know what's great about creating homes is that it gives you a purpose. You know, and I know you have kids and kids give you a purpose, but real purpose. You know where not only building, you know, a hypothetical home, but you're building literal homes with your hands.
Yeah. And I think that's really good for you. Thank you. You know, I think I'm gonna start seeing someone else just a different.
You know, like Dr. Strowven beam. Strowven beam. Yeah.
I think I'm so glad I came out to the. It's a free clinic. Yeah. Where else could you see Dr.
Strowven beam? Well, okay. I'm gonna be completely honest with you. Dr.
Strowven beam. Also might live at the clinic. You could be. I might not be a real doctor.
Yeah. But I mean, I'll tell you this. I read your book. You did.
Yeah. And that's why I came. You know, I mean, how to chop down a tree and I just. I thought, where did you find my book?
At the, you know, those little public libraries people have outside their houses that like you can just build little tiny like little houses, like little houses that like I found it in one in there. And that concludes our session full circle today. Little houses that you built. Did you build a little library outside of your house?
No. No. Why not? I was afraid.
I was afraid that nobody would take any of the books. Well, it's the ultimate spit in your face of when you put out something for free and then people say that's not even good enough. It's not even good enough for me. No.
But maybe we could work on that. I'll work on that with my new therapist. Do you need to referral? No, I definitely don't.
Be sure. Yeah. Actually, is there anyone you know in the same space that isn't free? Yeah.
Oh, of course. Okay. Great. Okay.
Look at him. I would like to see you know. Hey, doctor. Can I just call you Dr.
Heif? I would prefer you call the whole name Heifenshire. Heiferschire. Heiferschire.
Heiferschire. Yes. No, I think they're saying me. I know you were you had a pretty busy schedule.
Very busy. Very busy. But you are my favorite patient. Oh, I appreciate that.
I don't consider myself a patient as much as a client. Would I be? There's still nothing to tell me. You're very emotionally damaged boy.
Is that true? I don't I don't consider myself a boy. I don't is stroving me look at me in the eyes and say that one more time because you did not look at me when you said you did not consider it. I don't consider myself a boy.
But it's stroving me am allowed to share my I don't know if he's allowed to share the contents of text. Do you use you and your call? I guess you call him a colleague. Yeah, it's colleges.
Yes. Call colleagues. Yeah, colleges. Okay.
Yes. This one. Yeah. You just share a patient.
Yeah, big group message. There are other doctors on there as well. I just want to know if you think, you know, I mean doing this over zoom has been great, but because you can reach people all over the world. But maybe I maybe face to face would be better.
I come in such a place. That sounds like a lot of people. Let me come inside your place. That seems like it's too much for me.
We will cooperatively tackle all your problems. I live with you. You put me up. I terrifies you.
Okay. Yeah, I don't want to be therapist. Therapized. Yes.
Also, what is it with you doctors? You just live in a different do I have your own home? We're getting off topic. We've not talked about you.
Your issues. Okay. Yeah. Yes.
So, I mean, I'm sure Ravenborg filled you filled you in on everything. Right? So you shouldn't owe it at a time. He did text me some things.
Yeah. Are you still having the night's terrors? Are you still having night terrors? Well, this is partially why I left them because they weren't at night at all.
They were day terrors. They were daydreams that were nightners. Day terrors. Are you familiar with day terrors?
I'm familiar with day terrors. I'm from Russia. Yeah. Okay.
So you get it. Every day is a terror. Right. Yes.
So, you know, just sometimes I'll be driving down the freeway and I'm like, oh, why don't I just pull the steering wheel really hard and then flip the truck and just roll the truck? You know what I mean? And then I just go into like that. I picture like, you know, the burning truck.
So what is stopping you from trying? It's a newer car. So like if you do that, it corrects and it won't do it. I've tried a couple of times.
So I've been looking into getting a used car. Just so you can roll it. Yeah, just do your fire at this. Yeah.
Yeah. Kind of want it just to be maimed, not a full death. You know, pretty attention. Yes.
Is that weird? In your professional opinion? My professional opinion. Not weird at all.
They want a little, you know, attention. People seek it in different ways now to purchase a car specifically for the attention of rolling down hill, catching on fire, maiming or so. Little troublesome. Little troublesome indeed.
But you're fascinated. You know what? I want to give you the next session for free because when I move in, we'll have more time to talk with one another. That's really generous.
You know, concerned you'll be living in my house that I get to a free session. Jay, yo, um, I feel like a, I kind of blanked out for a second there and I look back at you and you were here, but like, it felt like you were kind of looking at me for a second too. Like, we were somewhere else. Yeah.
Yeah. But we're back now. Yeah. No, we're, I felt the same thing.
I just kind of sitting here. I was like, well, what was that? You know what I mean? Yeah.
And, um, wait, how long have I been here? I think five minutes. Oh, okay. Good.
Yeah. Yeah. You know, bedtime continuum thing. I just love it.
I can look around here and there's just so many damn trinkets and I mean, there's literally so many things around. I think that's like an air pump or something. Yeah, I think so. I mean, I've got a, it's starting to get a little crazy looking in here.
I got a, I got a condenser. No, I think it's good. You know what? That's good for you.
It's really good for you. Yeah. You have one of my favorite, and I'm not just saying this because you're, I guess, on this, you have one of my favorite, uh, comedy specials that you sell produced, uh, of any of my friends. Oh, yeah.
I love you. That comedy special. Thanks, man. Yeah.
I like that special too. Yeah. It's a really good one. Is there the taping?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Years ago.
I got a new one, you know, yeah, in the can. We're waiting to see what we're going to do with it. I want to get it out like ASAP. But sometimes you got to wait a little bit.
Yeah. I am having an ounce to yeah, but I'm in a place with something where, yeah, I'm sitting on something that I'm thinking about. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
If you get it special, I'm not saying this is what you're doing. Would you do stand up or you do stand up and sketching characters and improv or would be just one straight thing. It would be one straight thing. Only because, uh, what I've been finding.
Is if I were to shoot like a pilot for something, then maybe it would be that stuff where it'd be like a mixture that stuff, but as far as like the standard medium, I have a lot of respect for that specifically. That's why I've never brought like into my act like my Sacs on stage with me for that. I've experimented a couple times just as as a fun gimmick to see like what it would do like where I would tell some jokes and then I'd play some ridiculous But not I wouldn't want that like as part of my my thing I don't know when I'm doing stand up. I want people to know like I'm a good stand-up like like that I don't need to do the other stuff like hey This is I like this yeah, so yeah, but maybe down the line I mean I would love to have and I'm still trying to crack the perfect format for me of the pitch for a proper sketch show Where it's like, you know, I love it to be like a stand up on the spot section sketches character You know, I mean like yeah, it's like a no brainer.
It'd be awesome Let me know if you're in need a director for those sketches. I know Jay directed an awesome sketch that we did for a USC fight pass with the Sclar brothers for their show and He directed me and Jamar neighbors in a sketch Yeah, and certainly on the greatest whole thing of that My favorite moment and maybe in the entire thing that we shot Of the whole series was when you were going that's intimidation dog Rotten you start barking and then she grabs you by the ear and you go It is fucking hilarious that you like wind as this dog. Oh, it killed me you improvise that and remember go after I was doing it dude. Keep that wine.
You're so good. Right. Yeah, she was awesome on that She was dude. Yeah, she's been doing those um those sketches for like the NFL.
Yeah network and they're really good Yeah, like Rob Riggle and like it's not there like funny comedy people stuff with that. Yeah. Yeah, Sarah is like amazing I've been over a house for dinner before and she cooked this like great meal and I'm just like hey You do this too. Yeah, you're good at comedy writing and cooking.
Yeah, how you doing this? Yeah, speaking of when we talked to Mark Norman earlier I had to go up against him in a rose battle once and say I could have Sarah I'm like can you help me with some jokes and she's like yeah was that the South by one? Yeah, we there? Yeah, oh my god But God I got I like I was thinking about this morning.
I'm like, I'm so glad there's no footage of that Yeah, cuz I got fucking killed. Yeah, it's just so good and everyone's just like whoa member Jeff Ross remember He said he goes dude. I don't know what's going on these jokes are really good, but no one likes you. Yeah, whoo I remember liking your jokes, but the audience for whatever reason that night was like we like that guy Oh, yeah, and you're like what's going on here?
He's like Larson does that and then you just went into it, man? Yeah, yeah Yeah, that was a wild one. I remember to this do you ever go through this? There's like points there are things that I know I'm not good at in comedy, right?
Dude. Yeah, and I look at them And I'm like yeah, I'm not I'm not a rose guy. My shit gets too mean too quick I'm from Boston my my crowd work is mean but I can do it in a fun way because it's all right and I remember this year I was going to sell by I had a movie there I had a TV show there I was doing the podcast there and stand up and I was like fucking rose battle That they're like cool. We're gonna put you in the heavy waiting smart moment I'm like great and then I also did like there was another thing they asked me to do and I was like yeah And I tanked I was like things that I'm not good at like the comedy jam I am not good at the comedy.
What was the song that you did when you were on do you remember? I remember I did the very first comedy jam ever done right and I did I did Don't stand so close to me by the police. Oh don't stand so good Dude, you know hard that is to pull and I oh my god It was terrible and then another time I did busted move. I did it was there for that one Yeah, and that wasn't too bad.
Yeah, that was fun. Um, but yeah, there's certain things that I was just like yeah Let me take a shot at this and then you like do okay stay in your lane, bro I've had to get better at learning that over the years of like dude. You need to sit this one out Like Jeremiah like you get it like you want to do a lot of different things of comedy, but I'm not I do not succeed on I really have to work on panel type shows. Yeah, it's not my favorite format.
I've done it I've done I've done I've been a part of podcast like that for years, but it's not my favorite. Yeah for sure Yeah, you're just like listen. I have enough hyphens. I know I'm doing enough stuff.
I know it's exhausting I can't do it anymore. I was like gotta get it. It's too much white noise after a while Yeah, I do like hosting and I don't do it. I don't do it.
Yeah, I really like it I remember I did cluster fest one time and I had to host a chili cook off Oh, and I just and it was like the top chefs around San Francisco And I had like people up there and Rory Scoville is a guest and doing this whole thing They're like we have to be done at this time I got it on the clock ended at the time funny interesting and like Dan Soder came up to me after he goes dude I saw you I see that chili cook off Oh, yeah, dude, you crushed and I go it's a chili cook off bro. He goes I could I get this yeah I do like a different one like that. Yeah, I tanked I couldn't keep it going on I was just like oh yeah I like that it's a different momentum and a different pacing when you're having to keep the ball in the air like that Especially for people if you're interacting with people who are not other comedy people Yeah, like if you're doing a chili cook off and that kind of thing like it's easy to riff with other professional comedians But when you're dealing with people the element of surprise where yeah normies my wife hates when I say normies normies I learned that from Benjia Flalo and like I started saying it and my wife hates it anytime I say normies She goes that's really disrespectful. Don't say that about people.
Wow, but she's not she's normally adjacent You know, I mean well yeah, you're married to a comedian. Yeah, you're in the loop I know she's in the loop. You know she doesn't like it. I think about her friends and stuff like that.
Yeah She's like you can't go my friends and normies. It's disrespectful. What do you want? I'm sorry You're like I am in a job that makes up point zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero one percent of the population It is a very Yeah, I've never looked out that way come on I mean, it's not like accountants are making up 20% of the population but like office jobs probably make up or did Yeah, now office and tech.
I mean that tech tech. I don't even know how much of a percentage that is or is gonna gonna continue That's what's weird about certain areas when I go on the road and I am asking people what they do for work Yeah, and they're all saying the same job. I'm like it's weird like there's certain places in the bay It's like tech areas. Yeah, all do the exact same thing and then if you go to San Antonio There's so many people that are affiliated like some kind of armed forces Yeah, some kind of Air Force Marines Navy like you're just asking people and you're just like oh wow everybody does this here You know what I just realized.
Have you ever done a corporate gig? Yeah, I just realized you're performing for people that all do the same I never even thought of it like that. I'm like holy shit No wonder why that's like a you're getting the same The main difference with those corporate gigs that I feel like is such like if you play into it with a benefit is like If you're making fun of somebody like everybody knows that person so oh, yeah It's like they want they want blood they would love for you to go for their friends who they would love to be talking crap about but they'll get fired for Yeah, you're just the comedian and you're like Being that guy just do it. Let's do it light them up light them up light them up.
Yo, I had negative I did a Christmas party for a corporate event and it was a holiday party. I said everyone have a good Christmas and someone goes We don't all celebrate Christmas dude like a minute and a half in and I was like oh and then like people were you know They're just drinking and talking and I had to I had my friend with me It was in Connecticut and I go dude loving like just show me a light at 28 minutes I was just doing 30 minutes and I saw that light like it was a bear to get through and I go guys I hope you have a happy holiday a great new year and I gotta tell you I'm so excited that I never have to see any of you ever again And then I just like cut off and I went to the woman who paid me and I was just like she was like yeah Thanks a lot. See you later. No one cared.
They were all just drinking and getting right banged up Yeah, uh, I've told this story, but since you're talking about corporate. I'll give you the very I'll give you the cliff notes I got let go before the end of my time at a corporate event. Whoa. Yep.
They were just like all right dude. You're good I supposed to do 40 or 45. Yeah, I made it a minute 11 or 12. Whoa.
Yeah. Yeah. What happened? I know you're gonna give the cliff notes, but did they give me the cliff notes?
It was four middle schoolers and they said it as being too dirty and I was just like these are like jokes I've ran by like on late night and stuff. Yeah, and they were just like they said I crossed the line and they booted me from the stage For middle schoolers it was insane. They're Presbyterian middle schoolers. Oh dude.
They're Prezzies, man Yeah, you know those Prezzies they're worse than normies. Yeah, dude. Don't get me started. You get a pressing on me.
Oh, don't forget everything Don't be bringing what is Presbyterian? It's just like a strict Christian. That's all it was a Lutheran. It was a Lutheran or Presbyterian That was one of that forget.
Yeah, how did you get booked for that? Where was it? It was uh at a place in Irvine. Oh, okay.
Mm-hmm got it. Got it. Yep Yeah Wild I never do that again. I was fuming because I said from the stage I was like no, I can fix this and then I did I went back in my act blah blah because I was like they pulled away back.
Is there really a line or thing? They're like They started like heckling me the chaperones other thing. They're like, yeah, this is too much We need to protect these kids. I was that guy.
Oh my god. It's insane bro. Yo, you guys have a color outside the lines? What's up, yo?
Are you even yeah, I don't know um want to get into this next segment that people like a lot. Yeah, it's called wig wig Yo, I'm wiggin out Wait, you're what uh, thanks is in a building Okay, shanks, uh, you know, uh, I do have to say I think you've been doing I think you've been doing great I think there are some things I'm over here. Yeah, oh wait this way. Uh-huh.
That's further away. Okay, um I've been looking over your private report. You have been your volunteer hours could go up They could be more than they are. Okay, so what you mean?
I need to volunteer even more than I'm already doing? Yes. Well, according to my charts and we've been doing this now for how long? Three and a half years.
Yeah. Yeah You women you and I go back you and my P.O. Offset. You know what?
Three and a half years through the day. Three and a half. I don't know if it's to the well It's our anniversary. You and I you and I we got an anniversary and it's the day I made that song you like that.
I love I love that you keep a creative spirit Hell yeah, like I love that you keep a creative spirit I love that those buttons are fighting to stay on you boy You know this was my first shirt and I've been uh, I've been working out and I'm I feel like it finally fits again Yeah, baby. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, it looks good. She's here with um, I would like to get you Do you have aspirations to be off parole is is uh is what I would it was was in quite inquiring?
You know, um I wear this because I keep kind of going in and out of prison. So I've seen it a few times You've seen it a few times. I have I would like to be off um and just do my own thing Um get my own job do that thing, but it's just easier to commit crimes than actually just getting a job You feel me? I mean I understand how that that you would think that way.
Yes. I I can understand how much money a year you make women Oh, well shanks You know, I like there is a professional line. I like the toe and being able to tell you how much I make I don't know if that's a 48,000 48,000. I do okay, so you a bitch Well, I Whitman let's let's be respectful.
I do also have a uh, amazon store selling inflatables See that said you have to be a side hustle even though you working what 54 hours a week? No, not even close. I would say maybe 49 48 49 I was saying p.o is let's Commit some crimes together You stopped working your don Amazon job come back on the hour with a p.o And you let shanks slide in and out a little bit. You know what I'm saying?
Okay, well Uh, I think we've tried that before shanks and and it didn't go well I was suspended for four months and you went back in and did a little uh another time Yeah, and I don't know if that's I maybe I'd like to stay on the right side of the law this time but uh off the record I could be persuaded if the idea was was good enough. Can you pee in this cup for me? Why would I cannot pee in that cup? I told you I can't do that again.
I can get you clean urine. I just I would like you to pee in my cup So I can pass this drug test. No, I understand my p.o for three and a half years Whitman Come on. You gotta help me out And how many times have I done that for you?
Well, the last time you did it you put a little poop in it And I was like why would you do that because I wanted you to get on a better diet regimen And we were gonna send it in to find out what you have uh, reactions to Inflammation but then we send in your p.m. poop and we realize that what do you have? Crohn's disease and that is private information That's my bad. That is your bad.
I did not mean to put out your business like that It's very tough to deal with Crohn's disease. Yeah, you know that I do know that I do you remember with them all Yeah, see what I like any pretzel see that's what I like about you is when we hung out not inside his office We went to anti-annies and with the hot topic together and we went to Panda Express and had one of the best days of our lives Well, we had to we lost the uh Ability to do that once you held up That car the the you car jacked that poor woman in in the parking lot and and then because that Volvo was fresh That Volvo was fresh as hell that had the leather seats ahead of sports package and I was like p.o. women Get in here shotguns and you're all like bitch and I like if I get in this car I'm coming in the crime with you and then you call the cops on me didn't you I am the cops I forget that because in my head Listen, are you an official police officer? Or you do my p.o.
Do you see what my sure sense is this police, but I can't see you will well, I'm oh, I honestly I don't think we've ever seen i'd I And I don't mean that as an insult. I don't mean that I'm just I am an actually I'm not a police officer. That was the meanest thing you've ever said to me in my life I didn't say it to you. I was saying it over there.
What exactly exactly? The more you pushed me away the more I want to be close to you Okay, but I Is this I told you I can't be exclusive You gotta you gotta see other inmates. Yes. Okay.
I have many parolees all of which parolees parolees paroles Yeah, that sounds like a delicacy at a jewish Jewish deli delicacy Deli I love it paroli Right. Yeah, they're the best coffee in the morning with a nice paroli. Mm. I couldn't do it the best By the waking up is me inside your butt.
I'm shanks Now shanks you better get experienced up outside of this one. Yeah I again, I'd like to keep my personal to my personal there was there was a young gentleman who I saw briefly for 12 years Um, and that's that's something that I would like to keep to myself. I like to put my pee in your OPO You know what I'm saying? I know I Communicationally, I understand the P.