I can see clearly now the rain is gone Boom, boom, boom, boom I can see all obstacles in my way In my way, boom, boom Gone on the dark clouds that had me blind Boom, boom, it's gonna be a bright, bright Bright, sun shining day Yeah, yeah, yeah Look all around, there's nothing but blue skies Looks straight ahead, there's nothing but blue skies Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom Yeah, coming in a cappella hot on this podcast Was about to do that little ditty on guitar but my, my, my e-string broke and your boy is too tired to change them I was ready to record I'm like let's get this podcast going friends What's up? How you feeling? I'm doing alright, I'm just got back from being on the road in Calgary I'm a little bit loopy right now but things are good A lot of Kiltoni peeps that came out to the shows Jeremiah wonders peeps as well I appreciate the support for my pal Tony Hingecliffe and I we played a ton of pool over the weekend We did not leave the hotel premises the entire time because it was so cold in Calgary we're like well this is just not happening it's for sure like we took one breath outside and we're like yeah we're just gonna stay in and play pool and then next week I'm in Europe so a lot of traveling coming up right now but I am very excited guys about my guest today it's my buddy Mike Valzone he's a super talented stand up comedian musician and photography is taking photos from my show stand up on the spot he's a killer and if you haven't seen this guy live you may know him from some of his viral YouTube videos so definitely type in Mike Valzone on YouTube yes guys I do want to get into the kindness challenge right now this one comes from Emmett Singer yes if you don't know what the kindness challenges every week I challenge you guys the audience to do something out of the kindness of your heart for somebody it can be somebody that you know it can be a stranger as long as it's something positive contributing to society so we got a letter and while I read this letter I start to wonder what would Emmett sound like I don't know what this guy sounds like I don't know what he looks like so I was like what if I read his letter and the voice that I think that could come out of this letter who knows and why while I do that I'm going to play one of my guest songs this is you and me from Mike Valzone Jeremiah your podcast is truly a gift to the people my name is Emmett from Vancouver BC and this is regarding the kindness challenge last week I volunteered feeding the homeless in one of the worst parts of the city there was no shortage of fights arguments and theft but more importantly we have food and people were hungry we serve the standard classic ham spuds and zesty green beans we also gave out goody bags with toiletries and warm gear it was glorious the look of the homeless turned from cold and defeated to bright and cheerful the communal vibes were restored there was light music and the sun was shining yes once everyone was fed the line between the homeless and volunteers was blurred and what we had left over was a bunch of happy people riffing and having a time you do what you do good keep it up Emmett thank you so much for sending in that letter so cool of you to donate your time and feed the homeless man there's so much of that in the United States and as well as you know Canada and other countries around the world so it's always nice to send positive vibes and you know have conversations with people who are down on their luck it helps out a lot what I tried to do this week to challenge myself is I did a little bit of spring cleaning and I went through my closet and I there was a couple pairs of shoes that I'm like you know these are in good condition I just don't wear them that much and I know a comic can probably use these right now so I went through my closet and I got out a couple pairs of shoes and a bunch of t-shirts and even some dress shirts and different stuff like that swim trunks and I brought a bag of these these clothes to the combi store and they got taken and hopefully they're being used by comics that needed some new clothing because all that was in good condition I keep good care of my stuff take care of it so I was happy to do that that's what I did there's something little that's an example just to give you insight on what anything can be it can be something that small is like you know given away some clothes that you're not using as much or that you know that somebody else can use so yeah there you go that's the kind of challenge please keep submitting your letters to me at Jeremiah Wonders of Gmail.com I love reading them people love hearing them so keep doing that guys thank you to the sponsors of the show Speedweed Bronx Born Pizza and Menchie Music yet Geno over at Speedweed without marijuana delivery giving you that sticky icky right to your doorstep Bronx Born Pizza pizza in your mouth anytime anyplace Bronx Born Pizza and Menchie Music the people who gave me the sacks got a new one this week for you guys check out my buddy Tate Fletcher's company Caveman Coffee they've been hooking up Kiltony lately and they've been sending coffee to my wife and I my wife is a big coffee drinker follow them on social media at Caveman Coffee Co. Yes yes yes if you would like to sponsor a show you can actually email Jeremiah Wonders of Gmail.com or if you want to support the show just go to Jeremiah Wonders.com there's a PayPal donation button if you'd like to do that every amount is appreciated or you know what can't do that this would totally help me go over to iTunes leave me a five star rating and review review the podcast give me five stars right now we're at 359 reviews it's climbing I'd love to get to 500 reviews in the next couple months I'm looking at the numbers and the amount of reviews and not match the amount of listeners out there that you know are by the thousands that are hearing this podcast every week so I appreciate you guys support thank you so much for helping this thing grow and telling other people about it you know tell people if they like having fun silly goofing around and positive vibes for their week turn them on to Jeremiah Wonders let's do this thing I want to go over a couple quick tour dates for you guys all this info is at Jeremiah Watkins.com and a lot of it's at TonyHinchcliffe.com so I'm on the road with him a lot but I'm headlining Kansas City March 14 through 16 please go to Jeremiah Watkins.com and get tickets for that I'm bringing Pat Reagan we're gonna be doing Reagan Watkins at the end of the set Pat's gonna be doing a feature link set I'm gonna be headline doing stand up it's gonna be an amazing show I promise you please come up to that stand up on spot February 26 March 12th and 26th starting to do it twice a month so definitely start coming up to that and a few names that are already on February 26th Eric Andrei, Jeff Ross, Mo Amr, my buddy coming in from New York it's gonna be great and Kiltony this week we are in Manchester Dublin London all this week Philly awesome dates are coming up and more check out Jeremiah Watkins.com and follow me on social media at Jeremiah stand up if you're not doing that check out my pal Gage Tarena yes he does the audio and video editing of this podcast if you're only listening to the podcast you got to check out the YouTube videos sometime alright he's doing some very cool visual effects and if you notice there's gonna be some cool sound effects that are being added throughout the podcast he's really making this thing come to life and really come to fruition of the things that are inside my mind and my imagination so it's very cool without further ado let's get into this episode guys it's a fun one Mike and I get very silly with each other we have some great riffing get serious as well it's just a fun good time with a good buddy it's gonna be a good pal how many times can I say good I don't know it's a good episode let's get into it it's Mike Falzo on Jeremiah wonders this coffee about to kick in and 30 men oh and 30 men I hope you got an extra 30 men to warm up into this one player oh that coffee hitting you real deep like mmm-hmm eventually yeah I like that caffeine to hit me not right away but eventually yeah I like my caffeine like my amphetamines amphetamines amphetamines okay eventually you want that suda you want that dried yo try no's game go where we at girl what's going on huh we in this mother man where's the safest place for this ever that seems like a safe place yeah it's like for sure it's just barely safe barely whoa okay nice dude we're freaking in it man oh we're already in it dude we're already in it I apologize for every minute I'm keeping all of that coffee stuff I'm keeping all that suda fed riff good hell yeah you might have to play that a couple times if we drift off yo bring that back bring that coffee riff back yeah from the top coffee riff whoa was that the earliest anyone's ever done a good one of those I don't know I mean that's that's all pretty good I would listen to whatever show that was a part of coffee refs coffee riffs that's like a morning radio show it is like all right you're tuning in and you're in your car right now it's six o'clock in the morning and your host is with me Billy drip hey it's me Billy drip you would think that would have a lot more energy yeah you would think that I would too but usually the six a.m.
drive is more wacky and zany but we're flipping the script absolutely well I had a pet just pass away oh Billy drip no yeah you know my dog I've loved for years and years yeah and years Edward roasted had word rostam yeah you said and then I repeat it Edward roast him yeah that was my dog yeah I know it was your dog it was my favorite of all my dogs oh so sad how did he go well he got a he got into the coffee and well his heart exploded coffee riff I think that's sad that's sad so one of them has control of the one of the soundboard right yeah one of them has control the soundboard for sure so the other one the guy would kind of get mad that he decided to do that at that particular moment like he'd be like dude why did hey can we just have one episode where I talk about yeah can we not can you not bring up your dead dog and then hit the coffee riff button I didn't know we were I thought the moment was over I thought you just wanted to mention it and maybe move on okay well that definitely wasn't the time that was in the time yes strike two okay well sorry yeah you know let me finish talking about my dog okay yes go ahead with me through second thing all right back when I was a tea drinker I know should we give the traffic update we are live I mean we're already in this helicopter yeah we're already out here in the scene just wants to talk about his dog yeah no hey we have a we got a show to do oh shit yeah I suppose we should get back in the helicopter oh and alert these people to this traffic so as you were saying about your dog I guess we'll finish that thought he's like I think we should get back on but seriously we are concerned about the dog yeah yeah yeah I won't get right back in a minute right back in a minute right after we hear Billy drips Billy drips yeah I felt bad that I mean yeah I did to I did to yeah thank you for having me on the show by the way I'm sorry I started pressing buttons no dude I love it you can't just put this many buttons in front of somebody well you know usually I don't but I spent some time making it a little bit more user friendly for my guess because before if they hit a button I would have to like reset everything oh no but I mean that's what stops you from using shit like this yeah that you get scared anyway but now it's just like boom boom boom boom that's the dream about to get real wild on the show and this is like so many people have podcasts where it's like here's my mic here's your mic yeah how did you become a comedian sure right but you have that's not this show dude that's not this one don't tune out just get crazy yeah but this I was just gonna say this takes it to another one it does so how did you become a copy rip um hey Billy again this isn't even our show Billy drips you you literally you came in and you you hit the sound effect copy riffs like we just had steered clear of the dog situation people had already forgot it we were starting to get some traction and then coffee riffs came back in yeah I'm just clearly I think you can give me the benefit of the doubt I'm not having a good day my dog my sweet baby dog it's gone no that's not if you're yelling at me for hit the button you cannot hit your button okay I can't hit it maybe like we weren't even talking about coffee we were talking about my death I mean you know that you did just say coffee though I said it to address the situation oh okay we're talking about my dead best friend I mean now I feel like you're doing it kind of fuck me no no I respect you I haven't wanted your position at this radio station for the last 13 years or anything like that I've been just in the you know happy to be in the trenches and I mentor you I mentor to you I know I brought you up to you continue to mentor me and I appreciate that and what did I tell you about the mentor game or what did I tell you about the radio game it's not gonna happen right away it's not gonna hit you like an espresso I told you gotta be patient it's like a slow drip and then we'd say well now I'm playing your sabotage in the buttons oh I know she did what I do go back now I feel like I didn't earn it because I fucked up the buttons you know what Billy dripped just got fired dude that's how it ends that guy kills himself that day he lost his best friend and then he fucked up the button situation and now he's out he's just standing over his dead friend he's just keep hitting the button just over and over go on your wrist go on your wrist go on your wrist go on your wrist go on your wrist Billy's bleeding out who's the bigger man now Billy dripped he's just letting he has one of those caraps of coffee just letting it drip out of his mouth down his bare chest onto Billy on the ground down his belly button into Billy's mouth oh coffee rips like oh yeah like he definitely like has overused the button now it's not even working anymore and now he goes back to use it and it's all slow and warped coffee rips oh dang it I overused the button it started as such a wholesome I'm gonna tune into these guys every day on how they say and they seem like positive guys Billy in the other one Billy in the other one and you know what ends he kept hitting that button I'm gonna hit the button too many times wait maybe I can maybe I can finagle this you can't turn back time I think that's what we're learning yeah dude you have a crazy neighborhood I want to say do I can I say that well I think just compared to what I know yeah I'm sure I'm in the old person section of town yeah yeah yeah yeah this is very much like dude it's happening in here yeah you can tell but I did there's a lot of it's happening I feel like there where did you grow up again I grew up in Kansas so this is a stupid trite thing to say but people are obviously very different sure but I feel like there's a self-awareness that's not present here like it's present in most other places oh yeah like as far as like you always get maybe you bump into somebody who's not paying attention that happens everywhere but everyone here is like constantly in their own world they don't care about anybody but themselves it's insane they're just walking around I'm like what's that like yeah nothing it's bad but it is like absolutely insane it really is yeah you see a lot of people like characters walking down the street then either full-blown conversations with themselves or you're just you can just tell the way that they're walking you're like I don't know if I should interact with this person you're on a mission in a different place and I don't know where that mission is going to yeah I don't know if I'm standing in the way yeah and I'll have people like I just went to your your rock and roll routes and I saw somebody they were walking right at me right yeah and then there was no like there's usually like you look each other up and down and you're like oh I'm sorry and then you pick a side and you go but this was like now we're face to face yep and we're getting closer and we're to the point of no return and I'm just gonna stay there until something else happens just somebody else makes a decision that's how I met my wife actually we're in a rock and roll routes and we just kept walking towards each other and then we're just like well I'm not gonna move either I love you I love you I do you've been ordained at rock and roll routes your marriage has been sanctified marriage riffs wait a second is our host of the radio show back yeah they're having a pop-up shop at the I guess well Billy drifts he passed away we know that god yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah more Billy drifts yeah but but but but our co-host who's now the main host the other guy whether I you know it's sad he was it was like it was Billy drifts and the other guy in the morning yeah that's like that's his radio name is the other guy it's Billy drifts and the other guy in the mornings and now it's just like you're listening to the morning drive with the other guy no one ever respects the show yeah he's like my name is Dylan and it's like yeah yeah you're the other guy oh do that you're Dylan and I'm calling into the show okay great hey uh this is Dylan taking calls right now on the other guy in the morning we have a caller calling in uh hello caller what is your question hi mamam uh yes yes caller this is the show man yeah oh thank you so much you're still the other guy right yeah um do you have any other questions uh we got to keep the show moon along so that's it caller well I'm glad that you at least know my name thank you for for knowing that my name is Dylan you're one of the only few listeners who is called in and referred to me as an actual deal thanks please stay how excited are people to normally get on the radio and then Dylan's so boring that's like all right I gotta go but no no no no please please I need I need this conversation I need this to happen all right give me somebody else Dylan is uh okay so uh we just got our weather report and the traffic is pretty bad uh out here in the valley today we're backed up all the way on the 405 all the way to uh looks like we're getting another call uh you know what I have been taking requests for music we just played uh childish Gambino and we just played Cardi B's new track wow the phones are ringing off the hook here let's go to this caller right now hello caller what is your question hey am I only hear oh yeah you're on the other guy hey um if it's a it's a long story uh I am uh I am the other guy so I'm uh that's kind of a I run a question because I'm the other guy I'm hosting the show now I'm not a liberty to say his family uh did not want that information disclosed over the air so all right I gotta get it's just the same and why do you keep calling me bud it's very condescending you know people like that do I call people bud do you and now my wife has said don't call people I think it can be condescending that sucks I won't try not to do it but I mean what I mean I want everyone to be condescending from the bottom of my heart I mean to be condescending no I heard how you took that but I'm I'm better than you as the only thing I'm thinking yeah yeah for whatever reason I don't know why I even think that if you say I say buddy a lot but if you say it in the wrong inflection it can be a little the tone can be off-putting for people I don't want that yeah I don't want to I think I think the reason why it's it's kind of like because it takes you back to your childhood a little bit whenever an older person you call you bud or hey sport like how you don't coach you don't like kind of yeah yeah so I don't know why don't you go ahead and hit the showers but uh okay was that coach greenwall yeah what's up Jeremiah hey coach greenwall I haven't talked to you since uh you know I uh tried out for the lacrosse team and it didn't happen the uh they just canceled my favorite radio show so I got some extra time but you're your fan you're fan of the other guy in the morning used to be first guy team first guy your way your team first guy mmm coffee riffs every year when they do that I mean that was my favorite part of the show when they used to do that even well uh coach greenwall uh if I you know maybe try out for any sport that you're coaching now could you maybe consider keeping me on the team because it kind of shook my childhood bro but funny you're like 36 years old okay I'm 30 tops what's up I'm actually 30 I don't know why I said 30 tops hey I'm 30 at best well you clearly can't hang with these high school kids dude they're making them like crazy wait a second wait a second wait a second what can you define that they're making high school kids like crazy just these high school kids dude every one no I haven't I haven't been looking at high school kids bud that's an out dude yeah I'm missing out on the high the hot high school kids that are coming out just just a hot bud I said you're the one coach green wall who said hit the showers and clearly there's not a shower anywhere around us we're gonna find a shower coach green wall and those were all the showers around yeah I mean yeah dude he's got a nap he's got a shower shower yeah shower the shower comes to you shit I was hanging out with somebody once who uh who wanted to invent an app called pooper and it was they would bring you toilet paper wherever you were at dude smart or not smart I mean I don't think that there's a market for for that running out of toilet paper that's since table's all this time player dude but there's not an extra role somewhere in your house or something I was thinking of public wrestling when I hear that I think public pressure okay well am I is this I'm so sorry you're good just talking to the yellow you're good hey bud talking to the yellow okay see that it is all how you use it all how you use it yeah I gotta stop saying give me a uh uh substitute Jesus Christ uh you could I mean you could pull off bro you could pull off dude bro is way worse in my opinion yeah then bud bud is like I don't know I don't know we may get each other Christmas presents that's where we're at in our friendship okay well but like bro okay I guess if you are saying bro as much as maybe you are saying bud and like it sounds like if your wife is telling you you just stop saying it then you use it a lot so if you're replacing bud with bro then yeah bro can in common vernacular just in like dialogue and come off as like kind of douchey I'm trying to think of what because it's it's clearly not just a means of replacing a word at this point I'm trying to think of what in my personality I need to change I know people who use guy hey guy even worse that's like that's like the combined worstness of bro and bro dude but bro bud dude guy it's bad I'm just gonna start memorizing hey just start circling everybody's sister sister hey sister you're being weird no you're being weird sister um shell sis you know it's like I'm off the court in here yeah I mean um do you want to go to clairs why do you need to get your ears pressure like in the 47 time dawn my name is dawn your name your name's your name's crystal for sure we're telling each other names I like how um your voice is still like kind of manly as a woman whatever whatever you don't my voice isn't even manly as a guy okay that's a troll riddle that I don't even want to even start exploring right now anyway yeah clairs players it is did you uh did you have a uh did I have a what did you hang out of the mall when you were like high school middle school yeah um I would go to uh there's a couple more I didn't really uh I was always I had a reason to go I wouldn't just I wasn't a kid who hung out at the mall sure that wasn't I don't know I think and one of the walls that I went to I think it's closed down back in Kansas because it wasn't like people that's just not the culture well there were no stores on it there was lots of stores it's called the great mall oh shit yep great maul of oletha oletha she was one of the ones and then uh oke park mall that's still that's thriving okay good shout out yeah shout out oke park this we would go hang out because we had nothing to do but as soon as we got our license we're like we could drop ourselves in the mall we go to the mall we just hang out would you go to typical places like orange julius or or like uh any place we pass we wouldn't really spend out at the food court yeah that's well that's what I was getting to yeah it's like we would hit on girls in the food court and now we're wanted to talk in the food court and how old were you um you're said you're 16 17 yeah like 15 16 at best at most at most the oldest I've ever been the oldest I've ever been 16 yeah man and we would uh we would purposely go to the mall and see if there were any like I wonder if there's gonna be cute girls in the mall and we would go hit on like the people who worked at um american eagle who were just like a year or two older who were just trying to live their own professional lives what what are you looking at it's just low the levels oh I'm sorry you know how many shell necklace is I had to buy to get a phone number from the girls who worked at american eagle two I have two shell necklaces you still have them yeah yeah what does your wife think about that i don't put them on i can't figure out yeah what are you doing here mike's wife we recorded mike's wife's reactions earlier on jeremaia wonders let's hear what she has to say she's calling into the show right now mrs. fowl zone is this you well is she calling it or does she's calling in right now hey it's me mrs. fells uh please all your fells zone wow yeah that's a powerful name I understand uh you have some kind yes something to show me yeah we have footage of your so-called husband wearing shells of necklaces that he purchased back in high school to impress girls who worked at the mall over here wait there was a thumb ring situation oh show me the pictures okay what you're gonna show me okay is it definitely him i just emailed them to you enhancing enhancing your enhancing from your computer yeah i'm enhancing from my computer don't ask him about the technology oh big image it just came through yeah thank you it's like an old dial-up image yeah it's about 33.3 percent yeah you have to scroll down slowly it's such a large image in your email scrolling down to his neck to see oh god oh it's gross it's disgusting that's what it is and divorce wait uh okay i wasn't prepared for that thank you jeremaia no no zoya i was not i thought there would be more of like a funny thing i didn't mean for you guys to actually break up i thought he would like maybe go to the doghouse little bit maybe have to sleep my couch that's worse you you're a harsh woman do you know any lawyers that i can call oh no i'm gonna call your right now i didn't mean it to get into this with you too hey man that's my wife on the phone dude my wife wants a divorce right now because you told her i work pukabee necklace zoya zoya please uh huh oh he's there i yeah you're shell man's there oh you don't have to use derogatory terms like shell man don't call me mr shell man i'm not that's just who i was back then why don't you hey the family car is running on e want to go to show gas station oh no that's not coming up next you did the other guy in the mornings um have the man i used to be coffee rips yes i got the button working again goes back around nice real sloppy but it came back around bunch of non-sequiturs all together have nothing to do with each other yeah dude that's yeah that's good this has been this has been a weird show which i like i feel like i went to too many negative places with my impromptu games kill the first guy you kill the first guy kill the first guy kill the dog i want to be such a good mood i see i see you're you're getting all the boys about i see you teaching an improv class uh the parents are watching like in the audience they're like okay yeah the acting and performance was good but a lot of the places went pretty negative and pretty dark do you have anything to do with that mr file zone let's go back and let's i mean this could be somebody else you know i'm just here i'm kind of the assistant impromptu coach yeah let's go back and let's look at the tape of some of the things that these kids did oh there's tape okay great so uh this is the first game it's called uh meet me at the restaurant this is two of the kids they just go to a coffee shop and they have a conversation uh hi this is um gleg at a coffee shop i'm just waiting for my friend um uh well you can't sit there because um my father's erns are in that chair over there your father's erns my father's erns the ashes of in his erns like when he like he he keeps his dead body like a grandfather yeah i keep my father's dead body in his pot right here okay uh thank you for joining me for coffee i have something very important that i wanted to talk to you about okay spell your guts what do you god i wanted to vaults what when i'm married coach no no no you're doing good just just keep going just sit commit to the bed i have a gun you're not supposed to have a gun he said i'm gonna put you i can bury you if my father's dead ashes and see and then they're like two claps one parent is trying to be supportive i want to be proud of him so much really coming to the other they're like hey uh it's not just me our kids suck it up okay our kids are pretty unhappy yeah they're pretty i don't know what's going on in the home front but it's pretty uh did you play sports when you did you get like forced to play sports uh didn't wasn't forced at all i love playing sports what was your favorite sport soccer originally and then uh basketball they make all little kids play soccer huh a lot of people at least do a year of soccer because it's a sport like at first where you literally it's so easy to set up like those goals are so cheap that they set you up with like the three foot goals yeah with the little nets yeah everything or four cones four cones yeah yeah yeah then you're playing soccer yeah all of a sudden it is also kind of like the simplest sport to under for a kid to understand it's like okay there's two steps they're running yeah and then there's kicking yeah we'll introduce the ball at some point let's see if you got running down and kids like love running and jumping around somebody that's so soccer is a natural yeah yeah yeah i love did you play sports played a ton of sports yeah soccer uh i played a lot of baseball a lot of basketball position in baseball i loved playing first base i was a pitcher for a long time um i played third base until you get one too many balls rocketed at your face oh yeah and then it's you're like it takes a couple of line drives to the chest to be like oh play third yeah uh well we both have pitcher hair yeah yeah that's in yeah like turquoise del hair yeah yeah um i miss pitching i miss baseball pitching you've heard of it you heard of it baseball pitching halfway through the comment i bored myself and then i was wondering what i'm gonna do jeremaia started to wonder where is this going yeah same same for the other guy i'm being honest i remember pitching pitching i just what is that is that Kevin Costner's ghost from that one movie yes sure sure where you need okay ghost do you want to um you visited me for a specific reason so do you want to you want to talk about why you're here yes i came to talk to you about water world oh okay we were just talking about baseball do you feel dreams now i want to talk about water world okay i would love to hear about about water world i don't remember when last time i saw it was trying to remind us watch again we're still trying to pay back the market we lost on it okay i'll go to black western i'll get water world today black westerns closed all right ghost all right go slow down notes i'm talking late sharing i'm talking sponsor post on instagram we didn't water water back on top of the charts it's me and costner i seriously thought that you were alive and now i'm hearing kind of like a ghostly voice this is my inner turmoil it's coming out of my body i'm astral projecting into Jeremiah monday's podcast okay now i fully understand how can i help you like i said create a linkedin profile for me i'm very bad at technology we need to start marketing water world to more people the youth they're gonna love it i don't think that's true you don't mix up well the movie came out in like 1993 it's so many years after that oh it was a few years after best at most we're currently at the most years after that movie oh i guess i guess you could it's a ten-countable you've been in so many other great movies can i help spread the word about any new world i have this undying love to make water world work okay okay well then why don't you tell me since i'm not that well versed what i should tell the general public about what do you want people to know it's like aquaman i'm never so i don't think people were super stoked on aquaman oh no they were they were they were like oh okay we'll take it that out very well yeah also kind of old though but come years old those yeah fine fine so i'll go around i'll tell okay the portal closed i don't know dude oh thank you i started to feel bad for him like i kind of dude i started sweating like a sauna i thought it's so bad for him i was like he's unaware isn't he that's the most painful thing is when people are unaware 100 yeah welcome to holly that was all of rock and roll routes that was all yeah that was actually the manager that wasn't even constant yeah that was the shift leader out you have really big you love water in and out on on water world yeah water world is definitely the type of movie that you would see playing in a tiki bar in hollywood yeah in the background oh for sure and then you'd hear somebody in the back of can we change this yeah yeah we can fight in the back what do you want to have what you suggest we have is UFC on or what we got a vintage wheel in here jerry you're fucking it all up god damn it jerry i'm sorry um i do like when they have old movies there's this tiki bar i go to in north hollywood who has uh they have um what's that movie about the dancing nerd dirty dancing no the nerd there were no nerds in dirty dancing i just thought it just thought it'd be funny for you you the abolle class and dirty dance what's that movie with the nerd dancing dirty dancing they love dancing they love nerds they're like nerds uh footloose no napoleon dynamite oh yeah okay i just constantly have that playing in the background oh really yeah oh but that's a good nostalgia feeling yeah yeah do movies like napoleon dynamite still happen not right now people i think that that was a unique time when they're making movies where they were okay with taking a little bit more chances i feel like there's been a lot of pros and cons with all these superhero movies that have come out i love a lot of the superhero movies that have come out but it's also in my opinion really bad for the movie industry because it makes the people who are buying movies in the studios want a sure thing so badly now that they're not taking chances they're not taking chances like on smaller indie films i don't think a film like napoleon dynamite would be made right now or even a movie like ace manura or sure those character-y kind of piece movies yeah i just don't see it happening because the last few times that they've tried to do it with some different comics it like the numbers of the box office just do really poorly and they're like oh well we can never do this again dude people in general have a hard time taking a chance on stuff because you can see whatever you want constantly i know and then like you were saying in the movie studios they have those big budget sure things and then just in your leisure time you could just type literally literally whatever you want into a search bar and see it so it takes a lot i think it takes a really strong word amount to be like you got to see this shit like i think about it all the time how like i the end of high school or college and we just found out that this movie was coming out and we had to find like an independent theater yeah and i don't remember how i heard about it or whatever i just remember like seeking out these places and then going to see it and thinking it was like the funniest most different thing in the world and then like just nothing has been like that since that's what i did with that so i saw that in theaters and i literally didn't get it until the second time i watched it i literally i'd never seen a movie like napoleon dynamite and uh then i appreciated it a lot a second time i watched it but i went and did that with the movie hot rod with andy samberg yeah like i was like the lonely island has a movie out there's so cool like and i had to like really look for it was a select theater kind of thing and it's something really satisfying about going out and finding this hard to get yeah movie rather than just be like yep easy yep easy and then just it's super easy to get you know it's like you got to dig a little bit yeah for everything yeah right yeah calls it just to affirm it real quick what you guys were saying and yeah wow okay well thanks for that so mike uh we've uh we've been riffing a lot and i just plain around so and just plain right no i love it i love episodes like this to get weird and wacky and wild but i think the listeners at this point in the episode want to know who is mike fells out oh man that's not gonna make anybody happy i'm glad so i met you originally through the stand-up scene i think one of the first shows that we did together was uh realms show yeah yeah yeah does he still have that i think so that's a really fun show yeah man i think he does maybe i don't know any room in the back of a cafe but it was like closed i was like a little itty bitty dance studio or something yeah and like if you get 20 people in there it feels a hundred people yeah that's really cool yeah i think that was one of the first shows that and then he made his freestyle rap at the end of it yeah i did not do it yeah it was yeah it was okay yeah and what else do i remember from that show there was a dude like wave because it was b why ob and there was a dude like super drunk and like wavering super hard during the entire show yeah do you remember that bar yeah no that's okay tenon i don't i don't remember i remember it no i remember actually you uh you're doing some bits about uh your wife that i appreciated because whenever i think it was before i was married was whenever i saw it and i was like this is so funny to this is so funny to just like surface level i didn't really know you that well but i was you're like a hip-looking cool guy and i'm like okay well yeah this guy's making like airy stuff funny you know what i mean yeah where like as a as a comic sometimes like you can set your head like i don't know you're worried like you get worried for no reason like if i get married like will i be able to make that funny which is such a weird thing to even think about but like it's one of the weird psychotic like thoughts that go through your head like well if i do this and this like is it gonna work for my act yeah it's very weird that's not even a thought i hear people talk about kids like that a lot too yeah because i mean kids are getting married it's one thing but you're still kind of like on your own driving to do a thing once you have a kid i don't have a kid yet but once you have a kid it's like that's your life and so a lot of people that'll take them out of the game and then some people uh you know figure out a way to make that work but that's the number one like divisive thing that i've seen yeah it's like home if i have a kid i can't what kind of jokes can i or can't i do right all my shits about kids i don't want to do that do you want kids i want kids because i think my wife would be the greatest mother on the face of the planet oh that's very sweet and i just don't want to be broken fuck up a kid you know and i don't want to be like on the road and fuck up a kid i want to be like i want to be good she there's no doubt in my mind that she'll be good i don't want to be the one that fucks it up you know what i mean well what are you worried about though just being on the road and like being out and yeah i mean i don't want to to put the whole family in a situation where we got a struggle monetarily i think i know that yeah so that's most of it and i've never like i'm from the youtube world i've been doing i've had a youtube account since like the day it started and i've done this for a while and i've done like pretty well considering but i'm not i've always just done what i wanted to do on youtube i never really like played the game so at times the popularity was like super high for me and then at times it was like lower but i never was one of the youtubers who made like a million dollars and got their shit and got out yeah you know i always just like i'm run of the mill artist all over the place you know so i think if like a couple years ago i was doing like pepsi deals and i was like in my early 20s with hundreds of thousands of dollars i'd be like let's try it doesn't even matter if we fucking up right the kid will be fine yeah we can come into a nice little safety net sure but it's like you know how it is just being a regular artist and yeah raising another human being it's scary sure yeah definitely uh i you're it wait a second is that i can just try desperately to find the right moment he's like he's like i just love this so much well do you guys talk about it yeah you're gonna have a kid for sure you think so yeah you're gonna be a good dad who you could tell that's what my wife reminds me that every day yeah you're gonna be a great dad as soon as we have that yeah you know the thing that that worries me is i'm gonna have to have sex with my wife and it makes me nervous dude my situation hasn't happened yet and we'll see man yeah i heard it's great once it once you get going dude i can't wait to consummate you know i'm talking about how do i do i do i do almost a little bit dude yeah dude you know what i think about all the time i've only been p-hold to p-hold i'm the most attractive dude i'm a p-hold to p-hold with my lady dude and that's the farthest that we've ever gotten but that's still i mean that's almost there that's farther than you right dude you think i ever been the whole level was not here come on then mire and lemme buy that yeah come on yeah yeah you never be you know go on come on come on holy shit we were like attacking with it no no no i'm not dude i just go come on i used to fucking hate when i was like 21 and we would go out to bars and people would want to cheers all the times but get the fuck away from me yeah too many cheers what are we doing here we're not we're not the sitcom dude why guys get so excited and they just need to be doing something physically at all times yeah that's no good oh i was gonna say with our sexual experience i frequently think about um i think in the times that we live right now it's good to try to put yourself in other people's shoes and to have a little bit of empathy you know and i feel sorry for every girl who is fingered before the age of like 25 when you're a full adult think about like when was the first time you fingered somebody middle school high school uh i have a very different situation i i did i i did everything sexually with my wife oh this is great you're in a perfect scenario we don't even have to finish this house yeah yeah so i'm in a little different landscape when we're like fumbling i come from kennedy kit so we're all pretty special we're pretty can i get is the fingering capital of the united states it is uh it's that world the blade finger bang champs olympics 2004 everyone knows hardford is the finger banging capital of the unit continental united states um hardford more like square foot no it's i mean um super gross but i just okay okay we're getting closer right we're getting there i get there um i just remember being like just an inexperienced little boy and being so excited that you're with a girl and you hear about these things that you're supposed to do with girls but you have no idea how to do them because no one explains it to you and uh i frequently think about times i've been with just another nice younger girl and her probably being like what is this person this person's dexterity is like video games and baseball and that's it yeah this person has no idea how to make another person feel good i think this guy is fingered as a ti 86 calculator hell yeah hell yeah parabola wait what is that anyone parabola dude parabola's upside down or does a couple of jokes this guy's back five guys i'll say back a lot yeah yeah no don't like high five guys don't like cheers you're like high five i'll come on i would think of if i was because i've been in that situation before like friend brings a friend oh and you don't vibe with a friend i have thought of the worst dumbest like i gotta get going right now yeah but you just got here what's up i left it a whole thing in here yeah you mean you're kidding the car yeah sure yeah i got yeah i got yeah i'm at age now man you're 30 i'm 34 i will not hang out with people i don't want to hang out with i can't yeah it's a little difficult it's also it's a little bit different i feel like because we're stand up comedians where you know there's a lot of situations sometimes where we we may have to be around uh you know could be obnoxious people at times it's that's that's like occupational hazard yeah i'm talking about like leisure time no but i can put up with but i think that's why it bleeds over into that though is because we're around that environment so much like we're pretty like we're putting ourselves out there so much that like when we have our alone time it's like uh let me kind of control yeah yeah yeah the floodgates of who's coming in and out yeah i'm on break yeah yeah yeah was it hard i'm curious about this you said you mentioned uh that you started in youtube was that a hard transition to to go from being like a youtube personality or like a youtuber quote unquote never called myself one of those because i never felt like i started doing youtube before youtuber was a thing so you just have to be uploading videos and making videos i was a musician so i'm like wherever i could upload my music to get it to thousands of people without like even leaving my house like i toured as well but i can you know it's just this new audience that you have at your fingertips because at the time like everyone is just like what's new it doesn't matter i'll take a chance on a million new things like if a friend sends me a video of somebody doing like a cover song that was like the ship back then and people were really excited to like hear those so uh i mean that was that was the appeal of that and then for whatever reason like i had been a musician since like 15 so by the time i was like early 20s i think i did stand up for the first time in 2008 and uh by then my shows had just become like i was having so much more fun talking to people in between the songs and making jokes during the songs to kind of take people out of the normal flow from what it show was so i kind of was a touring musician for a long time to figure out that i was a stand up and then for me it's like i just cut my teeth and all these things that were like very hard to do from scratch i've done it three times i did it with the music thing like kind of earned my bumps there and then i did it like navigating this whole youtube thing when no one there's like a plan for how to do it now but there was nothing when we all started and uh and now the stand up thing same like i was you know in caneticate going to open mics and stuff in new york city and figuring out how not funny you were and then taking the train and i want to have back to sit in it it's a long train ride and then even coming out here six years ago and and bombing open mics and then finally getting to the place where like okay i live here i've been here for years um you know i got my support system and it's time to go at it and like be as good as you can and now i feel like super comfortable so what's the hardest then or can you even classify between music youtube and comedy what is what was the hardest i think they're all their own thing i mean comedy is super hard because there's nothing i even felt like when i was a musician even if i was a shitting musician you strum out the last chord and the audience gets the idea that the song is over so they're like oh okay that one's over you know if you're funny don't fucking clap for you or laugh at you if they're strangers and like they don't owe you nothing no so that's always like the point of pride for like even when people started talking about talking shit about the whole youtube thing i was always like i don't give a shit because i could do it live you know to varying degrees but now i feel like i'm proficient in um the last two i still feel like i'm kind of a shitting musician but uh the last two i feel good you should send me one of your songs and i will feature it in the intro of the hell yeah hell yeah gotta pick a good one yeah dude no pick your words like it's way easier to fly the word for it let's get into this next segment fanning out fanning out i reached out to people on social media and they reached right back they said they had some questions for mr mike fell zone i was like like a lot of people like a lot like a lot like real uh at jerel'd oh yeah on twitter says what made you decide to move cross country to pursue performing also how is mortimer these days oh mortimer i don't know where mortimer is and i miss them every day it's a stuffed pig that was a guest on one of our other podcasts wow yeah a lot of personality but um was lost in a move and it's heartbreaking heart breaking that's how you lose pigs man you don't want to move house when you got a pig move house is a very british thing to say it's just a move town they uh move i recall whenever i moved house yes we used to live in a flat in london and moved house okay this guy is straight up sexy british deep voice guy whoo baby oh baby get that boy back on the line yesterday daddy is this is a eater's elbow dark nor um i got really sick when i was 26 27 like that's door sick uh yeah and then after i got better from that i was like if i'm gonna pursue this comedy thing and this youtube stuff and just see where it goes uh we get one life and it's not a long life so i'm gonna go do it wherever i have the maximum chances of doing it yeah it's more like it going at something a hundred percent you know can i get super easy my whole family's there all my friends are there the support system there's always a safety net but it's like you know i got so sick when i was doing music i got so sick of fucking the two to three hour drive to new york city you know but you got like physically sick yeah i had uh my appendix ruptured and then it exploded on the operating table so when that happens it's like breaking a bag of poison inside of you and i got sepsis and then i ended up getting a pulmonary embolism in the hospital so pulmonary embolism is when you have a blood clot that stops in an end organ so that's when you die so if um like if the blood clot gets to your heart you die if it gets your brain you die and i had one that stopped in my lungs so they were like we gotta fix you up right now so i was like that's crazy i had an experience i'm just the dude like all you know all your fucking friends and then i have this experience where a doctor comes into the room and was like yeah you almost your life was almost over and i'm sitting in this hospital bed i was there for like a couple weeks after this i'm like intravenous blood theners and shit like that and um and i was thinking about all my friends and again i was like 2526 all my friends are like getting their first big regular jobs or promotions at their first regular jobs they're getting married they're buying these houses and having kids and pets and shit like that and i'm like i'm gonna fucking die in this hospital this is horseshoe so uh after i got out and got better i was like we're going we're fucking doing it my girlfriend at the time came and then we got married out here and now i fucking do um a billion things i have these two podcasts and i do youtube stuff and then i do stand up every night i could possibly do stand up and like i swear to this is mad corny but i swear to god that between the first time i ever played the laugh factory was a huge deal because i would be doing i did like um photo and video stuff to pay rent back then so i would do all my work during the day and then i would get high and watch these videos of like santino and dalia and stuff do stand up on the youtube channel when everyone have their videos up on the youtube channel and then i'd be like that's fucking awesome if i could somehow do that that would be awesome and then fast forward five years and i'm on the same stage and i have two videos on that same youtube channel and i it always goes back to like i was dead like i could have died back then and all this is like simulation but that's fine i'm having a great time yeah and i think about it like um so i live in the valley so i have to go over the hill every night you know from west hollywood or wherever the show is and i usually take the back roads i go up like mohan and shit like that and there are a couple parts of the street where like you look out and you can just see the whole valley or the whole city and it's just lights and it's real quiet and beautiful and sometimes you catch the sunset and i'm like dude this is like it's never lost on me how fucking cool everything is and how like fragile everything is so i i just i'm living this awesome life and i appreciate it every day it's cool shit i didn't mean to get that gross on you no but like i mean i think it's a nice uh contrast to uh man i got really new win to uh when it really milked that at the worst opportunity possible whenever we finally get i just want to press the button so i'm trapped i know dude you can't you can't get too mad at that kind of thing that's awesome dude i mean i love that yeah long winded answer to the first question good be prepared to answer in that link the rest of it all started when at alijah collijah uh on twitter how can i get them a lot how can i get them luscious locks like you and also another follow up question by it's missing martina's on instagram i need to know his hair care process aesap so a lot of people work yeah do you use conditioner i do not you do not i do not so i was uh late to the game on conditioner maybe 30 and uh i just think it's such an important thing if you have a lot of it it's just nice okay it's like sometimes we don't have the same problems because you have very straight hair yeah very curly hair so once in a while if i like put my hood up the wrong way or fucking let my hair dry weird it's just a knot and it's a terrible experience i can't run my fingers through it but like if you're so when i condition my hair it feels more like what your hair probably feels like on the daily yeah and i can't stress that enough if you have wavy hair or curly hair condition you're in law is this is the sexy british guy back oh yes hello wait i can't tell what part of european actually it's very off from the british part isn't it oh okay now do you use conditioner nor i have a i've a shaved head you've shaved it i bet you have a big old beard though don't you know big old beard isn't it what's your pube situation like big old pube and wasn't it isn't it oh what about your calf hair how do you know about that oh like a calf every day is there sunny jim one that sunny jim is more of a spondish thing well sunny jim is the equivalent of a but an american so there you go he doesn't want to get into that habit he doesn't want to be sunny jim his wife hates it at exhale and his room i'd like to know since mike is an og youtuber how has youtube changed for better or for worse since he joined in 2006 so the way it was explained to me recently is it used to be this very niche it used to be like the napoleon dynamite of file sharing oh for sure and it was like anyone who had a video it doesn't matter what it was or who it was you just you wanted all of it because it was like a little glimpse into i remember when youtube whenever it started was like 2006 a hundred videos yeah where it was such a small it was me and 99 other videos and i'm in Kansas just being like going away like how are people uploading it to the like it's just like mind blowing yeah because before then like even just sharing a video like you couldn't even really email a video you have like burn it on to a disc and deliver it to somebody's house the first youtube video that i uploaded was in 2007 nice so he jumps on early adapter yeah that works with your personality yeah you're one of them yeah it was a a spoof uh one of our our tests and our my broadcast class in high school was to do a green screen parody and you had to uh motion keyframe and use green screen to put your head over an actor's head in a movie and double over the like the lines for the scene and i did the notebook and it's so ridiculous yeah that's great yeah that's better than anything i didn't school yeah i jade off in school too much jade-offs it's just kind of yeah no i wasted a lot of time um but for i can never get that misteration time back it's actually a very serious issue i could have done anything i got diagnosed so i was on desk and i was like doctor can i jade it one more time jade my appendix to explosion um my independence you're practically like all right dude that is enough man i'm giving out um so when it first started youtube was like this tiny town and then it grew into a city and then it grew into a state and a country and now it's a world so like visually if you look at it like that that kind of explains how difficult youtube is now but i also think like people hear that and they're like all hope is lost but if you're listening to this and you want to do something on youtube you're in a cool time now where like the more niche you get about what you want to do the more chances of success you'll have and that's kind of the unboxing videos phenomenon right now like that's so specific of a thing like kids opening toys and stuff like that millions upon millions of views yeah like and who would have thought that would be a thing that people would go crazy over yeah it's really and i would like challenge people or whatever because so many of my friends especially comedian friends are like i know i need to make something i need to have some kind of a presence but i don't know what to do and like think about what makes you and your friends laugh so fucking hard like you're at the time where you could do that like the weirder the better sure and then if you could repeat that that's fucking awesome and like that could be your thing you know it doesn't need to be like this perfect polished whatever people get to uh to caught up in in that part of it okay at the tipsy pollock podcast buttholes or nickelback you can only lick one go that's like the whole band i think so or all buttholes or yep that's too many buttholes isn't it whoa even sexy british guy disagrees with this one i kind of loves them dude he loves them dude i guess a nigga back would be over several man and this is how you remind me here oh that's the same thing hey you want to be the spider man soundtrack heck yeah we do chat grumpy okay what do we need to do all right we need to sound epic extra reverb on extra extra reverb okay and that's the drums good put it on the soundtrack that's rough i think we got it yeah that was one take put it yeah one great tape yeah it's called a one to one take wonder i feel bad for that guy sometimes he gets crapped on a lot they just got over exposed man that guy just has a band that he likes a lot yeah they didn't like they never came out and said like fuck a specific group of people people are like those guys yeah i'm out of here at hardy of bands oh that's pretty good speaking of ed hardy at unit erd 89 tell us about your tattoos and what's your favorite one oh shit man not that you haven't had already tattoo but you could i can't show it to you right now because it's underneath my pants um your favorite tattoo i got a favorite tattoo recently every new one i get is my favorite okay and a lot of my good friends from home are tattoo artists so they'll hook me up every now and again so this is like super brand new still kind of feeling a little bit but it's a samoa cookie okay cool and uh symbolizes faith and unity okay because of the circle just like samoa tattoos i did the royal rumble tattoo game i heard of that uh no i saw you posting about it though yeah that's that's how people are so that's a tattoo thing this is like i've wanted people have done this for years but it's like you you pick a number one through 30 and then whoever comes out of that number you get a tattoo that corresponds like a bingo kind of thing kind of yeah so i was samoa jealous so i got a smell tattoo that's how i ended up with a thin mint i'm angry thin mints came into the royal rumble at number four yep that was number four uh at jammerman 21 this is just uh jammerman was my favorite mega man suit yeah from the backyard chicken form what is the worst predator a raccoon bee possum seaweezyle dee mink or emailing is the answer here nope they don't have the answer nope it's i think it's an opinion what's the worst predator i would say weasel yeah right i think so on the chicken coop you could reason with a raccoon i think weasel in the chicken coop in the mornings with the other guy all right finally found he finally found a second it's nice it's nice we saw in the chicken coop with the other guy actual weasel in a chicken coop with the other guy uh i heard uh rogan just posted this thing about a mountain lion attacking a man while he was running what and the guy was this dude who i guess he was a beast because he after the mountain lion pounced on his back he wrestled it to the ground and choked it out oh no it may style to death because it was trying to kill him yeah you have one you either get eight or you try to choke out a lot he choked out a freaking mountain lion that's insane yeah that's insane where does he find these articles man every day he gets he gets tagged he has to get tagged like he there's such a broad network where people are like joe likes joe loves yeah so they i think he gets tagged and then he'll like be like hey so and so like send this dude that's a really fucking cool thing about uh i was gonna say comedians having podcasts but really anybody yeah it's like you talk for so long and like in a situation like this like we can goof around forever but eventually like some real personality shit is gonna come out yeah and then people who listen all the time they know your personality so i bet like eight out of ten of your listeners could be like i bet jeremy would really like this and send you shit people will tag me in pizza stuff uh love it hell yeah yeah some skateboarding stuff occasionally um pizza and skateboarding stuff that's a segment on the morning show pizza and skateboarding stuff okay okay i like that the emphasis on the skateboarding stuff yeah to let you know how important it is yeah it's super important uh uh okay at jrw land can you pitch me a sitcom starring jeremy and rosio donnell yeah probably if i was better at pitching stuff i would have more money as well you're gonna pitch intense right dude hell yeah pay back on gotta be honest with you okay uh i'm gonna come over to your super bowl party next year too okay patreon's again yeah uh yeah only come over if jeff and i are still friends all right i did you call up jeff from the couch yeah jeff you're no longer invited here you're fucking you're right who touches everybody um okay so you and rosio donnell yeah what starts to come it's 1991 and you guys have a radio show most at most and you guys have a radio show okay that's called weasel and the other guy okay and she plays an actual weasel but since it's 1991 it's not like cgi it's my public she's in a suit she's in a suit whoa i love it okay good okay now does she slip in a little bit of racist occasionally well and come on it's the name you gotta translate from weasel but it's there okay oh so she talks in yeah yeah she's like oh wow rosio donna could do a great weasel impression a lot of people don't know that okay well that's great last question and we'll get into sakstok uh how many people from source fed do you still talk to at moby dead at moby dead um and okay so this is a loaded question because i talked to i talked to everyone who talks to me basically and uh the problem is i don't talk to many people because i don't have a tremendous amount of friends because i'm always doing something people want to do things at night and you got to do stand up things at night and then eventually people stop calling it but uh obviously you know it's not a bad thing but it's just people drift apart but um it's nice like that because once in a lot this is like a youtube channel that i used to um host with a bunch of other people and we have opportunities to work with each other ever now and again and be on each other's podcast and yada yada i would say i still talk to the majority of them oh yeah all right cool well conversation that he doesn't look up look up uh source fed for you know sure if you want yeah if you want we're just fast forward through this part solid block yeah all right let's get into this final segment sax talk nice i like it now i told mike before the show that he was going to share a story of a sexual encounter while i play some sweet sweet saxophone how long do these normally go it can be short or it can be longer okay some of them end up being very short because it's like that that's just the length of the strap and it's out yeah okay i'll try to stretch it out all right cool i'm ready for you whenever okay this is a voice thing or people use their normal voice uh you can do whatever based on you know there's no barriers if you're feeling something you know that's influenced by the sax whatever or the sax might be influenced by how you're talking so here we go um i'm gonna say that this story takes place in during the summer going from middle school to high school so there i was probably 15 years old not very wise in the way of women i think before this i had had one opportunity to get to second base and i'll just tell you about that briefly it's my friend Rebecca and we went to go see spice world and i just put my hand on her boob and i kept it there the whole time that movie's about an hour and a half long imagine having a sweaty nervous teenager hand on your boob for an hour and a half while spice all spice world on the silver screen so we moved past that and we uh you know winter turns into summer as it does and uh and i'm hanging out with some friends and we're so happy that school is over and we congregate over a friend's house now this was my friend danny's house and danny's house there were uh there were no rules at danny's house danny was famous for two things one he showed me the mp3 duck job which was super popular around that time and also he used to do this trick where he used to light his desk on fire in his room made everybody very nervous one of these things that danny has that a lot of the other kids didn't have was a segogenesis and access to mortal combat and the blood code one of these summer days he was like you guys want to come over play mortal combat use the blood clu closed so me and a couple of my friends male and female went over this house and uh we went to go play mortal combat um mortal combat i noticed i was getting the eyes from one of my female friends she asked if i wanted to go make out in the bathroom and i did i did want to make out in the bathroom so we did now i was still at the stage of my life where i didn't quite know i don't know how to say this Jeremiah that people came you know your life is basically divided in two parts there's the part where you know that people come or you don't have any idea that that happens so we're making out and eventually what i'm used to is making out ends when your jog gets tired and that's it so we're making out jaws are getting tired and then she says hey would you like a blowjob now i hadn't ever heard that word used in person so i'm very confused right i say yes because you don't turn it down i was too nervous to turn it down so i was like these people are going to come so i put my backup against the door so my friends wouldn't come in and she starts doing that now here's where the two worlds collide because at this point in my human being career i did not know that girls knew that guys came no one told me that that was a universal truth so the following is my impression of me at the end of the first blowjob that i ever got stop stop stop stop stop okay you're gonna want to get out of here and so the first time i ever got a blowjob i blew balls myself by telling her to stop because i didn't know that i thought i was about to be gross in front of me subspace coffee riffs oh wait he put it there after you blew ball yourself oh man i drove right to dr donuts afterwards that's what and then he comes in wow so that was it so mortal combat spice up your life yeah blowjobs that's pretty much everything from eighth grade to high school well i appreciate the anthology yeah you you pretty much you did a uh you did a best of he gets i said yeah yeah i do you should have uh could probably go back and oh made a lot of that stuff but i really wanted to hear a lot of saxophone so i thought i'd beef it up no i appreciate the beef where can people find you on social media and all that stuff it's just my calzone everywhere faLZ online a lot of calzone questions that came in that i didn't ask yeah that's a that's low hanging fruit of course that's why didn't ask those questions that's that's a that's being a good comedian so i appreciate it i appreciate how hands you are as a comedian yeah getting in that space hell yeah well thank you for inviting me to your do your wonderful show okay of course fine okay you know what you know but i appreciate it cool dude i appreciate it you know what we got to do this again man great yeah sure i do next time hey everyone do you like the show and you're an artist draw a sketch or paint something of jeremya or the guess for a chance for your work to be featured on the jeremya wonders youtube video episode submit your art to jeremya wonders at gmail.com thanks for listening