Everybody's got the problems, everybody says the same things to you Just a matter how you solve them, knowing how to change things you've been through I feel I've come to realize how fast life can be compromised Step back to see what's going on, I can't believe it's happened to you Part of me won't agree, cause I don't know if it's for sure Sudden Lake, Sudden Lake, I don't feel so insecure And we are back, yeah, thanks for listening to the show everybody, that was some 41, the Hell Song I cover that, spend a minute since I've had time to do a cover, I've been out of town a lot Wanted to do that for you guys today, how are ya? How was your week? Big week coming up, Game of Thrones, what? You a fan, you gotta be.
Bobby Lee got me into that originally, he paid me to watch the show Originally when I was on the road with him years ago, I'll get into that story at different time But guys, hope you're having a great week, got a big announcement coming, big announcement Has to do with Reagan Walking's album, that's all I can say right now I might leak it on Kill Tony tomorrow this week, we'll see If I'm allowed to announce it then, but very, very excited Guys, I had a good week, I went to my buddy Eric Andre's birthday party this weekend And I pet a camel, how can you not have a good week when you pet a freakin' camel, are you kidding me? What? Yeah, lots of fun, lots of fun. Did some stand up this week, I didn't go to Westin Iac for Kill Tony because Pat Reagan and I are actually working on a TV show right now That I can't talk about too much, but I'm very excited for you guys to see it when it comes out And anytime I can announce it, I definitely will, I'll share it with you guys Guys, we have a new sponsor this week, what?
Yeah, new sponsor, it's Matt Mesisco Studios Matt Mesisco is hands down guys, one of the best photographers in LA or anywhere And I'm just super lucky to be friends with this guy, he actually did the picture of the Jeremiah Wonder podcast logo for me If you've seen that on iTunes or anywhere on the social medias We just did a headshot session that I'll be releasing photos of soon, dude, hot stuff, super hot stuff I've traveled with this guy, he shot photos of portraits of comedians and rock stars at the comedy jam And he photographed my freaking wedding, one of the most important days of my life He's in my inner circle baby and I want him to be in your inner circle That's right, you need new headshots, you got a wedding, a big event, Matt Mesisco is your guy Follow him on Instagram at mattmysyscostudios, his website is www.matmysyscostudios.com Matt? M-I-S-I-S-E-O, Studio.com, did I just use the Oscar Meyer theme song to get Matt Mesisco Studios stuck in your head? I most certainly did. Check him out, get headshots from that guy, get some kind of photos, I love that guy, with all my heart I want to thank the other sponsors of this show, Speedweed, Bronzmore and Pizza, Mention Music and our newest sponsor Caveman Coffee, who's been killing it at Caveman Coffee Co., thank you Tate Fletcher and the team over there Loving those coffee supplies, my guests are loving the swag that they pick up when they do this show They get some weed, they get some coffee, what?
Can we? At Speedweed on Twitter at Bronzmore and Pizza on social media Yep, Mention Music, David Nolz, Seth Miller, Shoutout to my boys out in the East Coast area Hooking up those music shops and stuff like that, those instruments go get a student instrument, go get a pro instrument An intermediate, whatever you need for those guys Guys, if you are a company, if you're a company listening to this show, you want me to do a little ad read for you Email jeremywendersajemail.com, if you're just a listener that wants to support the show You can actually do that by PayPaling jeremywendersajemail.com, or by going to jeremywenders.com There's a pay about donation button at the bottom of the page, and any amount is appreciated, any and all amounts Thank you so much, guys, thank you. By the way, I did revampjeremywenders.com, there's a list of episodes All in one place, very similar to KillTony.tv, where you can find all the episodes and character lists at KillTony.tv If you can't donate to the PayPal, what would help me is if you go over to iTunes and leave a 5-star rating and review This podcast, we're now at 466 reviews, slowly climbing every week, I'd love to get over 500 reviews in this next month Guys, just because you know, there's thousands of you out there, I'd love for that to reflect in the iTunes reviews You know what I'm saying? So, yeah, what's going on?
I'm so stoked for freaking Game of Thrones, you know? Oh, dear, I went from being just a few years ago, never even seen an episode to loving the show. I'm on my heels, I'm on my tippy toes, just waiting to see what happens. On Instagram this week, I told you I was running out of kindness challenge letters That's true, keep sending them in.
Guys, the goal for this thing is to have so many emails in the chamber that I can't even get to all of them in a fast, timely manner, because there's that much kindness and that many good deeds that are going on around You know what I mean? That's the goal. So keep sending in those kinds of challenge letters And any artwork that you have, if you want to do some artwork of me and her like the guests together on the show, something that stood out to you Dude, send it in to germanwonders.gmail.com also, some music submissions, send them there as well I will try to feature some songs that you send in for the podcast Got some tour dates coming up, April 23rd, please come to stand up on the spot here at the Comedy Store, if you haven't seen that show Man, it's been so much freaking fun lately and it's my baby, you got to see it live and add some new elements to the show that I think you will really enjoy I'll be at Moon Tower and Austin April 24th through 27th and then May 2nd I will be headlining the rec room in Huntington Beach And then April, Tony Summer tour that we were about to embark on, go to TonyHinchCliff.com for all those tour dates I got to do this, there's this dude on the show man that he's becoming a beast really quickly guys He confessed to me that he edited through sickness to get this podcast out on time And that's my buddy Gage Tierrino, he's a freaking beast I might just start calling him Beast, like from X-Men, because that's what this dude is man Comedy, audio and video editing, he's helping me produce this thing, he's getting it out there on time, he's up in the production value He wants you to subscribe to YouTube, because guess what, on YouTube, the videos, he adds special effects and stuff There's different stuff going on visually that you're not even getting to hear on the podcast You gotta go over there and check that out, and he's a freaking stand up in Texas, so go see my pal Gage Tierrino See the beast live, because who knows? He's gonna be coming out to LA soon, well guys, he may even appear on Jeremiah Wonders Let's just say he's my young J-Man training, oh yes, it's gonna happen, Gage is a beast Why am I doing such a big plug for Gage?
He threatens me guys He has his hands around my neck right now, and if I don't plug him even more, if I don't tell you how funny he is and how great of a producer and editor is, he's threatened to crush me That's the real reason why his name is Beast Anyway, we're gonna have a great show today, Dan Soder is my guest, yes! Man am I freaking excited for Dan Soder I don't know if you guys have been feeling a bit, we've been on a run of great episodes lately, I'm very excited for that We knew the kindness challenge, letters within the show, I think that's been fun, people have been responding well I think more people have been seeing and listening to that, and you know what, Dan is one of the perfect guests for Jeremiah Wonders We did a bunch of different characters, we did a bunch of different impressions, and he's just one of those guys who just, you set something up and you just go with this guy Absolutely love Dan Soder, you probably know him from the bonfire, maybe know him from the show Billions on Showtime So many things, without further ado, he's my pal, and if he's not yours yet, oh he's gonna be after this episode Please welcome Dan Soder to Jeremiah Wonders Well that's great, that's what I believe in, I want it in my butt Dude this is so awesome, Dessonna, welcome back to Japan's number one again, my show, Dessonna Did you bring a Dessonna to your party? Periwat, this just sounds like a demon I am Periwat, Satan's number one musician That's right, Barry White was, say, Tannic, or Hail the Dark Prince and then you take all the clothes I'm just like a, I'm like one of those dudes that just made his own guitar out of like a soap, you know, you're like, I mean you can like build, you're like Jack White He's got all this cool shit going on Dude just putting in the work, man, by the way, I've been recording you for a bit while you're playing around And I think I'm gonna do a super cut of me not even in the frame, you're just playing around with it while I'm doing other things It's pretty magical Oh yeah, I mean I'm a fucking child Dude, I mean dude, welcome to the inside, yeah I love it, yeah, this is like a playground in here This is a cool fucking setup Dude, I've been really excited to have you on for like as soon as you got locked in, like I forced out in the future I've been waiting for this other floor a long time, the Oracle, I've shown Where is it, where is it? The Oracle has spoken returning, politely, you shall be here I mean, how cool is that, you've been?
I mean, yeah, I mean the Oracle, you know, knows what's up Yeah, dude There's actually been a lot of people who have requested that I get you on the show It'll happen organically, we always have a great time, like whether it's festivals or when I go to New York or you come here or whatever It's so rarely come here that I'm so glad that when we did this podcast, it was here, a home game for you Yeah, because that way of all the equipment, that's the only thing is I don't like taking this podcast Like when people are like, hey, can you come to me, like when I'm on the road, I'm like, I'd rather you just kind of come to me because it's worth it With the setup, you see why it's worth it, you gotta get here You gotta come to this video It'll be acoustic, small and incredible The NPR mics? Look at this, I know, right? We're gonna show a new study that says asshole cancer is actually just in the brain Wow, it's all conceived, you know, I love how they are about I heard that, actually There was the comments about the most crazy shit in the world, and that's great, was discovered in Somalia I don't know how to tell you this, but you actually are suffering from pancreatic cancer It's very aggressive, you're dying on the show Oh, wow, that's very unfortunate I'm gonna thank you for coming by and dying, this is Todd Berry level Hey, what's up? Hey, you guys are under the Kansas City airport?
Alright You guys ever take those soaps out of hotel rooms and pile them up in your Sorry, it's Kafka's tomb Todd is one of my favorites You guys do that? He's one of my favorites in comedians, but he's also a guy that always is talking like he's falling asleep But he's trying to act like he's not sleeping He's not sleeping, he's not sleeping Yeah, I mean, can you know what I mean? You guys are hungry, it's just that, right? Who's there?
Who's over there? He's also very scared for summer Yeah, so Startle sleepy Todd Berry So, I noticed that, have you guys noticed this? Is long drive Todd Berry talking to the driver? Yeah, you can tell it snows in there Yeah, it's all the I-ger Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Big J does my favorite impression, that's a non-speaking impression Where Big J will do, next time you see him tell him to do Guy waking up on an airplane and he'll cross his arms And he'll be deep asleep, and you just have to go sir, sir, and he does the best And just like looks around startled, oh man, it's my favorite non-speaking impression That's so good, yeah Yeah, I did a visual impression on an audio Well, you know what, this is also on YouTube, so get on over YouTube Yeah, watch it there, yeah man How did you and Big J become friends?
Because- Standing outside smoking cigarettes? Really? Comedy? Specifically cigarettes?
Wow, you just got to know over there? Yeah, I was outside smoking and J, I was like an open-maker and a barker At the old comedy village, which was formerly the Boston Comedy Club Yeah, and I was just sitting out from the people in, and I liked that I could sit in front and smoke cigarettes J was smoking cigarettes, and we started talking and immediately started making each other laugh And I was like, dude this guy's so cool, he's a seller comic Yeah, he's like, I think this was right before he had a half hour, maybe like a year before his comics, which represents So to me, he was like a headliner, I mean this guy was like, headlining, so it's crazy he was talking to me But we just like pumped, he was like, oh I can't believe, okay cool And we just got along, became friends, started hanging out, and then years later, you know, still smoking cigarettes outside Christine, his girlfriend, who was his girlfriend at the time, was like, you guys need to do a podcast And this is like 20- For two guys chemistry is so good, and it's one of those things where, you know, he probably started talking and it's funny Like veteran comics can pick up really quickly how quick other comics are Yeah, and you guys are both riffers, you know, and you guys are like, that's what I love about, like any time I visit New York, dude, just being out on the sidewalks And just riffing outside, like the seller, the fat black or like whatever, like just for hours Yes, this is incredible That is, you know what it is man, it's like, it's just like finding a person, we're like, oh fuck we can just do this for as long as we want Yeah, we're not bored, it's like finding a way to like, when you see a person like, I know I'm not gonna be bored Cause you're just gonna be, you're fun to talk to, I feel like when I see you, there's a lot of guys that I see that I'm like, yes, I know I can have a fun conversation get weird And we can talk about like, you can just bring up a subject and we'll talk to it, yeah, it doesn't matter Yeah, Jay was definitely a guy like that, and then I just opened for him and it was fun, and then we start doing a podcast and never released it Or we said we gave us the bonfire, you know, through like months and months of bullshit And finally got, we finally got the bonfire, and then it was like, do this setup that you have, you did it yourself Yeah, and the setup of Sirius is just going in and then having Lew Whitsky, our producer, our super producer Just like, be able to pick up effects and that kind of stuff as we're doing it as a guy that does any voices and you'll know it is a treat You're just like, oh yeah, good mikes, good headphones and you're like, oh I'm sad, we can just play now When did you start doing voices, like, how old were you? A little kid, like I started like mimicking like things and my parents would be like oh he can do it, you know what I mean like oh he's doing for these people Do it for these people. Yeah, I remember doing a poo from The Simpsons, which was wrong, and I'm so sorry.
You know what, this is Dan Soder's public apology. I'm sorry for doing a poo when I was a little white cisgendered male boy. You know what, actually I brought you on the podcast to actually out you, you disgust me. You talk about hard and contagious watch out.
He's like, shame, shame, yes. But it was, it was a poo and groundskeeper Willie, and it was The Simpsons where I was like seven, and I just remember like being able to do those voices, and doing them at school and people being like, dude, that's awesome. Yeah, so it gets a huge response because it's people's favorite things that they're watching and you're able to recreate it for them, you're like, what? Yeah, and they don't realize it's like, are you a only child?
No, I'm a middle child. Middle child, okay, so you, middle child, I was just like alone a lot, but I had action figures, and that was always the way I would do. If you're getting teenage men into turtle action figures right behind us, I'd tell them to action figures growing up. Love them.
Yeah, I remember making a machine gun noise, which was like, like that. You're like, my mom was like, look back, and she's like, that sounds like a machine gun. And I'm like, yeah, lady, it's war. Yeah, I think it is.
Mom, it's an M16. You're covered in blood. Yeah, like, honey, where'd you get that blood? I made it, I caught myself, mom.
I take my blood and I put it in little bags, and I put it in the GI gels. I make my own blood capsules. It takes me forever, and then I bite down on them, they explode. She looks back and I'm doing post-war PTSD therapy.
She's like, Dan, are you, are you doing therapy for the soldiers? Don't worry about him, mom. This is wrong, he has a drinking problem because he saw a good man die. Oh man, your chin has just gotten sad.
Yeah, his best friend died at 17. How's your day going, mom? Hey, you wanna call him a baby killer? Look at him, he was holding his chair.
Call him a baby killer. Yeah, man, voices like action figures and loneliness. I think we're, and jerky boys. Jerky boys, yeah.
Yeah, that I enjoyed the movie. I never got into their actual skits like a crazy amount. I don't have a vast history. See, that was the thing that got me with CDs came out, and my dad, who was like the stereotypical divorced dad.
Like, can your mom or dad, do they have talent to do voices? No. That's so interesting. At all.
My dad thought it was funny. That's kind of the same with my mom and my dad. They've got one or two speeds. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
My dad was super funny and really quick-witted. My mom was like dramatic, but she's like encapsulating. Like, you watch her and you're like, you're good at holding a room. She can hold a room and my dad was super funny.
So I definitely think there's things I inherited them, comedically from them, but definitely not voices, but I noticed when I did voices from my dad, when I would visit him and he was like, just an alcoholic, it was like a bowling alley bartender. So when I do voice for him, he was like, he would go nuts. Yeah, like danger. That's my son, right there.
The danger field was the one where I was like 10, and I could do a good Rodney Danger field. My dad was like, that's crazy. This kid's incredible. I should've, you know, I come in and just do like a shtick that I heard like, you know, there was a fire at the house.
My wife said to my kids, don't yell, you'll wake your father, you know, I'm not only gonna respect at home, you know what I'm saying, Johnny? And he's like, this is a 10 year old. 10 year old. But what I should've done is just tried to get him to be a better dad.
I'm like, hey, I'm telling you, you know, I like birthday cards on my birthday. Yeah, you're forgetting them. I'm telling you, I get no respect as your son. He's like, what?
I feel like you're- Yeah, are you trying to- Are you doing bits about me? Are you doing bits about me? Is it a danger field as a vehicle? Yeah, I'm just saying.
You know, I'm carrying around these cars. I'm gonna have a drinking problem. That's just psychological danger fields from my dad. Psychological danger fields.
Yeah, that's like always a fun thing with voices is doing like, woke danger field is one of my favorite things to do around my- That's great. Hey, I'm telling you, you know, who doesn't get any respect? Women of color. Yeah, you know, man, white men, that's the real problem.
I'm telling you, I am one and I don't like it. Oh boy, I got privilege. You wanna know about privilege? I can have a rental car.
I can have a rental car. I can have a rental car. Yeah, shit like that. Like, I noticed if I could do that, I could get away with saying a lot of crazy shit.
Sure. I mean, honestly, it's one of my favorite things about Kill Tony. You know that pilot voice last night? You were getting away with some crazy shit, but also it's like when you break, it's so impressive to watch you guys stay in character.
I love that. That's something I'm very terrible at. I was just staying in it? You're in it, dude.
Dude, that one set flip is switched. The switch is flipped. Either way. Flip, switch, flip.
Flip, the switch. Huh? Turn it on its side, man. Yeah.
I'm dead. I mean, seriously. I forgot that is a very big vibe out here. I mean, it's a big vibe for sure.
Dude, they have like tight shirts. Dude, there's a lot of sex. There's dudes out here. Oh, dude, the sexiest of dudes.
I've noticed that's what I don't like about LA versus New York is our shitheads are a lot less conniving. Yeah. If that makes any sense. That makes sense.
Our guys get on the train and they're like, yo, bro, I'm getting me pussy. All I'm saying is, yo, I'm about to knock them out. It's more face value. Yeah.
What the fuck you looking at, bro? Stop off. Fuck you, man. This bitch got an ass in here.
It's like, what's up, bro? What's your name? Hi. Hello.
Jonathan. Hi. That's exactly the life. It's very like, what?
Dude, oh my god, so blessed to be here. You are so incredible. When you go to the bathroom, I'm going to whip my cock out at your wife. Yeah.
It's going to be a scene. And then I'm going to tell her to never speak of this again. If I get an opportunity to professionally bury you, I will do so and not even wins. I would.
You know that turn of phrase stabbing someone in the back? I'd rather do it between your eyes. Okay. Let me see if my effect is here.
Let me see if my effect is here. Let me see if my effect is here. That's my new game show. That's my new game show.
It's the new number one game show in Japan. Japanese dishonor. Yeah. Yeah.
The samurai. Yeah. The samurai comes out. You have brought these.
Oh, no. Yeah. How cool that is. That's pretty good.
Yeah. That's how they clean up America. Dude. That guy just pops up and comes behind you and forces you to Harry carry yourself.
Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. She's like, how do I get more likes on this bikini picture?
Your father is. He's. Oh, yeah. He's got everywhere.
Oh, why did I? Oh, no. The new game show. Hotty.
Hotty. Hotty. Yeah. Yeah.
I'm a playing player myself in public. Yeah. It's a lot of that really embarrass yourself in public. Yeah.
They're like, huh, I'm fucking well put together. I'm gonna get hammered and get naked and run around. Dude. One of the most fright, I don't even know.
I'm gonna tell. I'm gonna talk about it. Yeah. One of the most frightening videos I've ever seen and it's kind of porn.
It's kind of porn that my friend showed me but he didn't. You know when anybody who doesn't tell you that it's leading to porn. You've got to just use video and you can just start watching it. He's like, okay.
He's fucking out. Yeah. So there is, dude, this is one of like tears laughing, like me laughing so hard because it's so ridiculous that people find this affection. It's this girl, this Japanese girl, she's like, oh, noodles.
She starts eating noodles, right? So good. Like eating all this and stuff. And then she starts vomiting all the noodles up on a businessman.
Oh, if dressed businessman? Yeah. Yeah. I like it's, there's something about throw up that makes me laugh so hard.
Because it's the most, it's the weakest a human being could be. Yeah. That your body. Yeah.
You've seen them just like completely crumble. Like, like, just shrivel up. How many noodles, how much noodles did she eat before the body started? Like a crazy amount.
Like a Kobayashi amount of. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Whenever I leave Jay's hotel room on the road or sometimes when I leave his house, just randomly I'll turn around and go, bye. And just do the Japanese kissing. Yeah.
It's just a funny thing for a giant white dude. It's great. It's very high character. Yeah.
It's like, oh, this doesn't fit at all. I love voices that don't match bodies. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's always great.
Yeah. If you can, I feel like my voice doesn't really match my face, but then after a while, you used to it. Yeah. It's, yeah.
Your voice is like, oh, it's a little deeper than I thought. Yeah. I remember one of my mom's boyfriends, like one of her first stations. That's a real voice.
Wow. Oh, wait. Do you grow up next to Caroline's brother? I am Dan.
My name is Daniel. My name is Daniel. Just like Javier Bardam. Yeah.
Yeah. For the beat. Call it. I just have a bad haircut.
I know. Are you in here for my mother? You're going to date my mother. My name is LVR Bardam.
I'm in the room. We're the really, have you ever been shot in aid with a high pressure bar? Javier? No, I actually haven't.
Uh, um, but NLP will be back from the bathroom. Give me one second. Um, okay. I was going to actually, uh, I'm actually not here for your mom.
I'm actually, um, I was wondering if you'll maybe what I vacation with me in the backyard. Uh, I, we could. Yeah. I guess I can work to throw you.
We have more with you in the backyard. I will throw to you and you'll throw it back to me. Okay. There's only, uh, there's only kettlebells back here.
We will lift kettlebells above our heads. Yeah. For every while. Yeah.
My voice never has really matched my face. I feel, but your voice matches your face. I think so. Yeah.
Yeah. When it comes out, you're like, all right. You're like, okay. Hi, Dan.
Great to see you back from New York. I don't think that's your voice at all. Yeah. This is real me.
Yeah. I don't like this Jeremiah. This is real Jeremiah. Yeah.
It's going to be really exciting to see you guys. This is here. I love that you're opening up and really being yourself. Yeah.
So you can charge my face too. I'm going to really want to hear yourself. That's a lot of plastic surgery and super successful Jeremiah. Oh, you look great, dude.
Yeah. How's the bond right now? It's dude still going good, man. You really, wow.
You got a lot of Botox, huh? Oh, no. You know, I just got a couple of loose ends. So plump.
Oh, you know, I got a little care of it. And also some angular features as well. I just wanted to touch plastic surgery people's face. Always, always just I always want to go up to them.
And if you like the scene from Hookey, like, thank you, I was going to be the little black in. Yeah. There you are, Dan. Yeah.
Dude, if you did that to an old woman who had had plastic surgery, that was baller shit. We got a mirror name. If you just go, there you are, Beverly is moving around her face. Just hit a fuck yes.
Yeah. Hey, this retinol. He's touching my face. That's going to get him out of my sight immediately.
There you are, Beverly. She got the reference. Oh, dude. She would get it.
Because you can't come back from that, right? No, no, no cat face. Yeah. Once you cat face, stop, pump.
And it just I always like when those ladies are complaining at restaurants because that's just there's like I just think this is my wife, Maria was she's recently got worked on. She's also part dying cat. Yeah, she is. Watch she makes up for her lack of agility.
She molds and makes up for with her shrieking sounds. I always know when she's home. People getting their face fucked up. I knew this young girl, she started getting that shit done.
You're like, dude, there's people. One of my wife's friends, we're in her thirties. They're already starting to get a little bit of work done. I'm like, you're psychotic.
Crazy. You're freaking around your in your thirties and getting worked on. That's crazy. You're not going to last.
No, man. Get out of here. What are you? What are you doing?
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You're hacking up your damn list. Shut up.
I'm just going to call this hair bar. I don't want to spit damn it. I mean, have you ever felt like you're going to be consumed by your own mucus. Oh, that's got to be a tough phone sex.
Oh, yeah. You're only like left. You want me to take off with the hand pants? I'm hard.
Yeah. Hold on. Yeah. Start stroke here.
Damn. I'll do it to me too. I accidentally used germanics instead of motion and emergency. I'm using a lot of soap.
I like it to take off that top layer. I can't sometimes I use vinegar and baking so there's a little mic and just so there's a little bit of little reps around my pain. That's about to come out of here. I just came over the car with this car everywhere.
That was a that my guy to get really like a blue and the note you are the ice down. Yeah. Oh, that's so the no light. I got to buy one of these fucking machines.
Dude, it's pretty insane, right? Yeah, it's fucking awesome. Yeah, it makes anything so dang fun, baby. Oh, my name is Dan Soder, man.
That is that this is me. I'm Dan Soder. That's what I'm talking about. Talk to you.
Hey, I'm Dan Soder. How you doing? You're like, Hey, man, are you Dan? Yeah.
Dan Soder from Bonfire on series six and baby catch big J and I most days of the week. Chat chat chat away. I just want to apologize to anyone that's had a conversation with me out of context. I'm just alarming.
Yeah, not only my podcast, I'm staying up to me. I always have a word on it. Oh, it's fucking creepy. Can you just great to be out in Los Angeles?
You're that guy who says Los Angeles and I was a Los Angeles. Oh, you're from Los Angeles? La La Land. Oh, yeah.
I love you. Los Angeles. Yeah, I'm so gross. I'm going to start changing my voice.
You know the did you also documentary about that billionaire, the lady that lied and created that fake pill on HBO? No, I don't believe. No. Did you watch this lady?
She does this voice? She does this voice. No, but she does it. It's alarming.
Speaking voice, but then you learn that she taught herself how to do that voice. Really? So maybe I'll do the first thing. You know, lighter voice.
What's my is this a higher voice? What this freaking out of my I don't know. I'm OG Dan. You that new day.
Hey, what's up everybody? It's new Dan. This is less intimidating. Hey, man.
I'm OG Dan. Hey, just want to let you know I still like wrestling and still smoke weed. Just don't I don't have a booming voice that's going to shoot out of you. Yeah, oh man.
I'm about to go get some cigarettes and smoke on my side. Oh man, I miss cigarettes. Oh, you may. Oh, listen, his voice is already dropping.
Oh, cigarette voice there. That's if I kept smoking. Yes, you kept smoking. If you keep smoking.
We're going to go on for. Well, guys. That'll scare any cigarette smoker out of smoking. It's just any kind of just listening.
Yeah, just listening to that. Just intense breathing. I was in line, actually was opening for Jay in North Carolina and we someone was like, you got to go buy this cigarette store. It was like a cigarette store in North Carolina.
I forget what it's called. P.J.s or some shit. And they're like cigarettes are 19 dollars a carton. 19 a carton.
Just let you know it's 10 packs in New York at time. Oh, it was 1165 pack. Of course, it's 1165. Yeah, it's from 19 dollars.
You get a carton of cigarettes. Dude, I got fucking four cartons because I was going to sell cigarettes to the people I worked at the restaurant with money and I wanted a carton for myself. The saddest line I've ever got. Oh, God, I'm a car for sold man.
Dude, standing in line in that fucking cigarette line with like more than two people with oxygen tanks. Oh, no, then everyone else is like, yeah, they're just like, please, palm off and GPC and you're like, what am I fucking doing? There's this kid in La Jolla one time I was doing shows down there and I walked out and it's when I had like really long hair. Yeah.
And he thought I was like one of the cool guys was like walking out like that was by like this alcohol store. He's like, Hey, dude, can you buy me cigarettes? And he was 12. I was like, no, like, I'm like, maybe that's like, no, dude.
No, I'm not doing that for you. We've talked about this on the bonfire because that used to be me. I used to wait. I used to after school go to the side of circle.
Okay. I got three bucks. That's how much cigarettes. What $8 bill?
What is it? $8. They don't make those young men with low voice. Oh, man, I traveled lots of country so far.
You're 12. Yeah, man. I am a world traveler. Very experienced.
That's why I do the cigarettes. So fucking travel. Yeah. But whenever I try to give money and guys like you would be like, no, I'm like, fucking nerd.
Oh, yeah. Always. I bet that that guy like hated my guts. Hey, he's like, this guy's a poser.
He looks cool. He looks the part. He's gonna hook me up, dude. Is it weird that it does give me a little bit of hope that kids are still trying to buy cigarettes in 2019?
I mean, I kind of like it. I think that's okay. I honestly think that's that's okay. It's like society is still like, you know, yeah, honestly, I think we still need that like anti establishment, because everything right now, as far as like our jobs and everything, everything is so PC where it's like, yeah, well, at least there's still some things where it's like, I'm gonna find a way to like, you know, out, but go around the system.
I wouldn't be surprised. I would not be surprised if in like 10 or 15 years, you find out some like genre shattering artist was a young kid that wanted to piss everyone off to start wearing an America granite gun hat. Oh, yeah. Or, you know what I mean?
Sure. Like that's like, that seems to me to be the new punk kind of turn, you know what I mean? Like when the yuppies were big in the 80s and 90s, it was everyone's like, fuck, I'm gonna be punk or alternative. Fuck you guys.
Yeah. And now that that's kind of like progressive and being liberals, you know, the majority or the majority where I live, there's got to be some kids that are kind of like, fuck you. I just want to get a rise out of you. Yeah.
That's what trolling is, I guess, to a certain extent. Yeah, the thing I don't like about trolling is there's no like, there's no repercussions for that. Like, people can just sit behind something and do it where I feel like, especially back in the day, like people will be like, Hey, like, you know, like, you don't like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna go walk and they fucking freak out of here, dude.
Yeah, they said fucking piercing, but you're a fucking freak. You're a weirdo. You're a weirdo weirdo. And then 30 years later, those kids, you're in the dumbest person I ever seen.
That's what blows my mind is like, you think about all those kids from the 80s and 90s, like that were the preppy bullies, and they're just like parents now, like my child shouldn't have to listen. And that weird, when people like that get old, they should not be forced to even deal with this. They are delicate, fragile creature. Okay.
Children need and it's like, no, man, sometimes your kids need to get scuffed up. Dude, it probably, honestly, it probably would have done me a service if I had I gotten in a fight at some point in my life. It's good. It's really good to be punched in the face by someone that you don't know, because you're immediately like, why did you do that?
It's always your first thought. Oh, we're cool, man. You're not even that just like, why did you do that? Seriously.
They hit you're like, but I haven't punched a lot, but I've been punched enough times in the head to know exactly that feeling. Yeah. When someone hits you and you're like, why did you do that? Why would you?
Well, I didn't do nothing to you. I was yelling at you and then you punch me. I did punch you back. I've diffused a lot of situations with like just being like, we're all good here, dude.
It's like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, dude, not. You're 30s and it becomes much easier to walk away. Yeah. 30s like, I got a really gay tomorrow.
Yeah. You're just finding adult excuses. Yeah. Like I get lunch with a friend.
I can't get into a fight in a part of life. Yeah, I can't end up with a black eye. Like, this is gonna affect auditions for weeks, man. I mean, if you win, you're like, ah, man, am I gonna start?
Not as an adult. Yeah, I mean, as a teenager, but not as an adult. Yeah, we got a lot of fights on the scrap. We scrapping the backyards.
And it's so weird talking to my own voice. Yeah, I bet it is, man. It's unsettling. Yeah, dude.
I mean, we use to scrap like. Yeah, we brought this on to our parents a few times. We got in those fights. Yeah, absolutely.
It sounds like a kidnapper more than me. Yeah, there it is. If you're right, out of your song, man, you want to know it's creepy? You can do that with an effect and I can do that with regular if you ever want to see your son.
If you want to see your son again, hold on. I'm calling. No, I'm calling. I get to call.
I get to call. You have to let me do the call. You have to let me do the call. You don't have to find a regular.
Okay, if I don't let you do the call, yes. Thank you. Do they do? Do they do like prank phone calls?
Yes. Where are they going? You hang on, man. Oh, everyone's saying?
Sure. Say it. Hold on. If you want to see your son again, I get to your son's him.
You idiot. Oh, that's much better, dude. You just do that. You just do this.
Just do that. I do. We have your son. Oh, I didn't even say we did not want him.
One of us. Oh, fuck. Oh, God. How do I delete the feature?
What's the feature? There's a way to delete your voice. I leave it on the message. I got to go.
I decided to affect it. I want to see what it is. Do it. What the old man.
It's like a farka talk. It's a farka talk. Hey, I'm a talking fart. Oh, no.
Hey, could you? I was kind of hoping for more of an SBD, like a silent kind of thing, but you know, man, I'm a dream. I'm a genripper. I'm a genripper.
I'm a genripper. I'm a genripper. I look at the key going on at the grocery store. Watch this.
That's over with the mud. Okay. Guys, sorry. I'm down by this bottle.
If I could present the next Apple product that will be with the... Oh, man. I bought Paula's night with a bed right after I hated it. So one of the new features on the new iPhone is actually the retinal display is actually higher than...
Could you tone it down just... There's actually a kickstand on the back of this new iPhone that allows... Hey, it's me. There is bottle.
I'm back. We're in the middle of a presentation. You're a pinch-man. Okay, there's a kickstand that allows you to look at your new iPhone in portrait mode or...
The screen won't... It will automatically revert to the size that it came from. And you can pinch it to zoom. You're shooting your pants.
I was really going to... I was going to try to continue with the speech. I would get off the stage immediately. Okay.
So as you can see... The new model of... I just have like one more bullet point in the speech. And you can get the new operating system at Apple.
Okay, it's probably best that I should help. I want you to have a talking butthole. I know, dude. Do you want to make a cartoon where you're my talking butthole?
More than anything. More than fucking anything. More than anything, dude. More than anything.
The Jeremiah butthole story. The Jeremiah butthole story. It's a coming-of-age story. You guys are like, LA is that place where it's cold and then all of a sudden you go inside and...
TAT! I know, it gets cold and then it gets hot and then it gets all breezy and then it's like, Hey, what's going on here? Let's get into this next segment called The Kindness Challenge. Every week I challenge you the listener and myself to do something nice out of the kindness of your heart for somebody.
And I read emails on the show from you guys, the listeners who submit letters of your kind acts. And we have one that is coming in from a guy named Jeff that says he was actually on a Kill Tony show. I usually don't know what they sound like or what they look like. Let's see what this guy did for his kindness challenge and see what Dan and I can do for our to challenge each other to do something nice for somebody later in the week.
Okay. This guy. Let's see. My name is Jeff and I was the bearded garbage man on the Kill Tony Cleveland show that's right stand up for the first time.
Afterwards, I went to a bar on the other side of the city to see my friend that lives there. And as I'm getting out of the car about to greet my friends on the sidewalk, a man on a bike rides by and says to me, Hey man, nice set tonight. You were really funny. Right in front of my friends.
The guy on the bike worked at the club and just happened to ride by and make me look so cool. Right in front of my friend. I haven't seen in a year. He also helped my girlfriend win the kindness challenge later on that night in the bedroom.
If you know what I'm saying. So nice. So a little while ago, I was driving home from work and noticed the car in front of me had a tail light up. I live in a very small town.
Sorry to sign to fall in this lady because chances are she's going home too. I probably scared her at first when I got out of my car behind her and started walking towards her. But I sure to her, I'm a friendly beard and not a scary beard. Yeah.
Well, you got to really fucking say that quick. And then she had a tail light out. Hold on. Not a bad beard.
Now, I know how it is when people are flashing their lights at you and you have no clue what the F is going on. She thanked me for saving her the hassle possible we can pull over and it only took five minutes out of my day. Kindness forward it. There you go.
All right. There you go, Jeff. That's a good way to alert someone that they have a problem with their car. Now, did he replace it?
That's a thing that like the he was alert. He might have a woman. He took five minutes or it. I know.
He might have just followed her home and alerted her that she's a tail light. Okay. Well, which she might not have known until she got pulled over. Which, okay, that's nice of you.
Your approach, you know, could maybe use some polishing of the scary bearded nan approach. I just imagine him running her off the road and like, listen, you tell your lights out. He just starts tapping on her car with a fucking object. He's walking along the side.
Yeah. You got a tail. You got a tail. I know.
You ever watched the life drain out of a person's eyes before? Oh, also your tail lights out. Hi. Hi.
Hi, my name is Jeff. Hey, I'm Jeff. I'm a friendly neighbor. Yes, absolutely.
Yeah, the first two seconds. She's like, I'm going to die. Yeah, I'm going to die. A guy falls you home and gets out of a car with a beard.
You think you're dead for at least five seconds. Yeah. Why wouldn't you? If I saw it, I'd go, fuck.
Oh, no, fuck. Well, you know what I would love when you were talking about the I imagine like it's actually one of those blind man canes. It's actually like, and it gets in as a blind guy that reaches and he goes, you tell your lights out. And he goes, what?
And then he leaves. And then he checks and it is actually out. And then he just pulls out and drives away. And he drives away.
Is it? Magoo? How did that happen? Yeah, that's what I get hilarious.
Yeah. Your tail lights out. All right. Yeah, that's a good kindness.
That's just a very nice thing because you probably softer from being pulled over. Yeah. Have you done something kind or nice for somebody recently that you can think off the top of your head? Yeah.