Hello hello are you listening because guess what I have a huge announcement that I am so excited to share with you guys Oh man here we go the Reagan-Wackens album is now available for pre-order on iTunes yep You can find the link on my social media at Jeremiah stand up or just go to iTunes and search Reagan-Wackens I'm so pumped to see it on iTunes. It's happening. It's freaking happening guys I'm glad you guys are gonna be a part of it and a little bit later I'm gonna play a track that you haven't heard yet off the album to look forward to that Very excited welcome back to the show guys so happy to share that news with you Reagan-Wackens REJ and and Watkins Go check it out on iTunes Jason Tebow is my guest He's on the late night comedy store warriors and I was with Griffin with this guy Yeah, you probably know him from punch-drunk sports And if you don't you're gonna join him today on Jeremiah wonders How's your week guys get a name thing good get anything bad you need to brush off move on get on to the next week Well guess what Jeremiah wonders is the cure for you get you right back in that get old made All right get some positivity flowing through those ear holes or those eye holes a few You know are imagining the show while you're driving or running somewhere or something like that imagine Imaginary Discoveories through the a-holes and the ear holes on Jeremiah wonders. Yeah, hopefully you're in a good mood listening to this and if not Let's let's make it happen.
Hmm. I had fun week guys Pat Reagan and I finished shooting a music video off our album that will be out soon and that will be on my YouTube channel So yeah, check out my YouTube channel at youtube.com slash Jeremiah Watkins if you're not subscribed over there Yeah, that's where I put all the Jeremiah wonders episodes and a ton of sketches music videos and I've been putting more stand up and stuff like that Or that and I've had that account for over ten years. So yeah, go hit the subscribe button on YouTube I want to wish a big congratulations to my buddy gauge the beast he harina. He helps me produce this show He just graduated from freakin college.
Yep, and you can follow him at gauge tierina G. A G E T I J E R I N A on Social media and he's gonna move out to LA soon and we've got some exciting stuff planned for the show So I get that right gauge He scares me. He sends me threatening messages all the time to make sure I get his plugs right Anyway guys, I think about releasing two episodes a week one of the guests one solo episode doing some experimental stuff Would you guys be into that? Let me know Thomas Shiffer over at Grey Block Pizza in Bronx more than pizza Just hooking up with some new equipment to make that happen He's already given me great equipment in the past to work with he just upgraded me with some stuff You know to push me to start doing two episodes a week So I'm super super grateful for the unwavering support of Bronx born pizza in Bend, Oregon and Grey Block pizza in Santa Monica, LA So thank you Thomas Shiffer I really appreciate it and I'm gonna try to get another camera and goin for the YouTube episodes and keep making improvements So a lot of good stuff coming guys I also want to think the sponsors of the show speed we'd Bronx born pizza of course and mention music and caveman coffee It's at caveman coffee co at speed weed on Twitter Bronx more pizza and mention music and you know I just gotta say guys.
It was a good week I'm grateful I'm busy I've lots to be grateful for and I want to thank Richie Young and David Knowles for making my new curves of perino sax happen Which you will actually hear in the sax talk on this episode. It's just fun It's just fun and tiny and I traveled it with it this weekend for Kill Tony and Vegas and Phoenix and it was freaking perfect Just town, you know, not heavy at all I'm able to fit and crevices and stuff crevices is a weird word. I know people like yeah, just fit in the crevus right there Creepy, I don't like the word crevus. Why did I just use it?
I don't know but I got out there now Gonna be in your vernacular later today. Yeah, Janie go go put this out in that crevice over there Nobody's ever used Crap is in that way, but anyway guys if you're a company that would like sponsor the show email Jeremiah wonders a gmail.com because you know Why not if you're a listener that wants to support the show you can do that by PayPaling Jeremiah wonders a gmail.com or by going to Jeremiah wonders.com There's a PayPal donation button at the bottom of the page And you know what every amount is appreciated by the way I did revamp Jeremiah wonders.com and there's now all the episode links in one place very similar to kill Tony.tv Or you can find all the episodes and character lists from that show kill Tony kindness challenge letters keep sending them I love reading them on the show the guests love that segment Artwork, thank you for all the talented artists who send in great artwork of me or me and the guests I love featuring them on my Instagram I'll keep doing that and then we also feature them at the end of the YouTube episodes We feature different artists who do artwork of myself or something to do with Jeremiah wonders or something else Like kill Tony or whatever kind of art you want to submit saxophone pizzas skateboards big noses blonde hairs Just keeps in all this stuff and guys and music submissions You can also submit to Jeremiah wonders gmail.com I like I like hearing from up and coming bands and featuring you guys trying to get your music out there speaking about becoming music This week on featuring a track from the Reagan and Watkins album Listen listen head over to iTunes for the pre-order This is one of my favorite tracks on the album and it hasn't been released yet So I'm debuting it here on my own podcast on Jeremiah wonders. I think you're gonna enjoy it This song is titled this summer from the debut Reagan and Watkins album This summer My girlfriend My mom died this summer in my nails black and cry this summer I got a DUI this summer as a my spit full of lies this summer 2003 dog Hope you guys enjoyed that. I love that song I'm gonna read some quick tour dates from May 2019 a little bit into June the kill Tony summer tour is here and coming to Salt Lake City Boise Idaho Spokane Washington Seattle Portland Vancouver I'm in La Jolla featuring for Ben Gleeb on May 24th through May 26th come up to that and then May 28th is stand up on the spot I'll announce the lineup soon for that and then June 6th is the Reagan and Watkins album release party through the County Storm Mainroom Tony Hinchcliffe is on that red band is on that we're adding a couple more comics to help open the show It's gonna be a big party Please come out to that and then June 7th is the Reagan and Watkins album release on all platforms And you can catch me doing very stand-up floss throughout the weekend in and around Los Angeles when I'm not on the road My guest today is a longtime friend and it's part of my comedy family this one.
It's weird I think you'll dig it. Please welcome my pal Jason Tebow to Jeremiah wonders Wait, I'm just a little boy. What's wrong with me? Why are you cornering me in this alley?
You know why bitch? Where's my motherfucking money? Why are you calling me bitch? I'm like tanning shut the fuck up It's where's my mother fucking money?
Okay? I don't know how to tell you this, but I don't have your money yet Well, what do you mean mister sing me a song about my money bitch? Oh, okay? I guess I could see my damn song Okay, um, let me my voice isn't It's not that great.
Um making a song about my mother fucking money and why you don't mother fucking have it bitch Okay, um Sorry, I'm sorry. I like it so far so far. I like it. Okay.
Let me warm up Take your shirt off Three dollars to be exact oh you three three three three Because I use the money on milk money for my lunch and that's my promise I like I called out dead even that was a free pretty fresh fucking song. I mean would you like to hear more? Maybe I can make some money off you know. Yeah, yeah Okay, you got that lazy.
I you got that little There you got that pimping snap in a damn scare I'm so scared of you when you come at me in the alley and I don't know why but I want to run back to my mom in the valley It's got lazy. I talk with a limp and I got a hook for an eye You have a hook for tonight. It's impossible to see but I like I can cook shit with it What do you mean could you give me some examples like I could go fishing with my face? I can make Flat tires appear with the hot when tires wasn't flat in the first place.
You can make those tires. That's right. That's right That's right. That's right.
What else can you do man? What else can you do when I talk with a limp and every time I'm walking and talking But you only live when you talk that's right. Yeah, but it's just staying still and you don't live But if you live in then you must be talking Yeah, I started when I fart you start it when you fart a lot of times. Yeah, I'm gonna be honest about it Yeah, that is a situation happens to me.
I've never had a butt start ever for Nothing you really want to miss it out on Okay, well, I appreciate all the background in for you, and you know what? I don't think I want to owe you any more money because I got to be going up so we are coming great school And I gotta get more chocolate milk for myself. You're the streetlights about to come on. You better get out See you later.
Mr. Mr. Classic calendar Under two phones Mr. Mr Wow, we got introduced mr.
Mr. Mr. Mr. Top of the show cold opening right at the gate freaking the team is on the show today.
Hi everybody Hi everybody dude I've been really excited to have you on the show because I know how much you love to riff and play yeah like we have the amount of times that the you and I have Just gotten to Riff and hang at the back of the comedy store. It's one of my things to do really it's so great It's one of my favorite things about that club is just to be able to kind of have that like ping pong over the audience with who's on stage And who's in the back of the room. Yeah, like what the fuck is going on? Yeah, they are these idiots in the back Am I haven't even thrown out yet?
Dude, I mean for like I've gone so many times this store Like I still do it like especially in the past where I just go up there and like I would treat that as my spot Like my work out for the night. I didn't have a spot Especially as it is. Yeah, of course So you just go there at the end of the night and hope that don't last there even if you have a great set earlier Let's say and then you can just jack around in the back and get more laughs than you did in your set Dude that was like some of the first times where I felt like you were like a part of something at the comedy store Is when you're making other comics other peers who you respect in the back of the room laughing and making him break Dude, he's so he kills all the time He has this thing that he does he does it so well He knows how to orchestrate chaos in a crowd And he's just doing this thing You're just watching it as a spectator for a while just kind of scoping out like how's he doing this and then I would see guys Like you and Earl Skackel in the back of the room that would throw out these one liners and stuff Tony in the back of the room for a long Time so many guys it would be back there You know Neil dude, they don't know dude. No, they need to come on show.
Yeah, they're on my list to get on the show I've had a bunch of people they're like they're perfect for showing Definitely, but yeah, you'd see like you'd get something out there And then it just kills and I remember like the first couple times like I got something out and you guys laugh in the back Of course, I was like, oh, it's happening. This is so cool, dude. It's great. It's fun.
It's super fun Yeah, so yeah, if you ever go to the comedy store just stick around late night Because it's literally the last thing of the night and it's and also every night the week to seven nights a week It's on it's literally unlike any other club. No other comic by the way like dawn lets anybody interact like that during a set It's like it's like a weird town hall meeting. Yeah, it really is you're people are just like throwing in and like it's so funny to see your friends kill But also see them bomb sometimes with lines. Oh, we were getting a call right now.
Oh, hello. Oh, Don Wow Hey, well Don you are king of late night at the comedy store and I don't I mean you still perform every night Really? Well, I think you're doing a pretty good job of keeping everything together done because I haven't been able to tell you you killed all the time You never really bring that into the club, you know, you always walking in with a smile and bright item bushy tail Why can't see it right now? You're on the phone, but I mean if you have it out right now, then spoiler You know, you mentioned it a few times on stage before so I imagine it's healthy Well, I Appreciate you calling in Don Okay, yeah, well let you get to it.
Maybe I'll check in with you later Okay, I guess Don is not a huge fan of yours Steve. This is first to me honestly I thought he's talking about me first second then I remember that I'm the one talking to Don Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was nice to don't call in yeah, dude Yeah, I've been one time I was driving well, I wasn't driving. I was going to ice-house Pasadena But I'm yeah, I was like hit right now and I'm like sure I'm in the back seat Have you ever been in a car with on he's driven me to 7-eleven before uh-huh. He's with skits Oh, it was a very surreal night.
He can't dabble into the world of road rage I'll just put it to you that like So there's this he got mace one time by cab driver mace at 7-eleven at the L.A. That's right We're like a bad. I love that of course he was like I'll talk to you talk about for a couple days. I mean you gotta wear that as a badge So he's some girl gets around cuts him off.
He gets mad We're just going on sunset He zings around the corner and just stops in front of her so she has to stop in the middle of sunset You know what I mean? Yeah, so he stopped and he's just kind of like mean mug in the girl No, just by terrified and he's screaming this fucking kind is kind Bitch I'm in the backseat with like kind of scared all the while the whole time it's not the love you say maybe you're on the Happiest Jackson 5 song that's another loud. I love that he screaming Dude, that's like the best like my favorite kind of comedy scenes in movies like those those those contrast Like John Houston. It's so great.
I was in one of those. That's like my favorite dude Like one of my favorite scenes in dumb and dumber is when he's driving what a courtable movie, too It's so it's unbelievable. How many lines are in that movie? I was saying that Friday is the catty shack for black people.
Okay, that makes sense because I mean both those movies I quote yeah, but there's a lot you know a lot of black people don't know catty shack right where it's like a lot more white People know Friday. Yeah, um so Friday's so incredible. That's so catty shack There's so is dumb and dumber there's that scene when he's like looking at her as he dropped off mary Swanson at the airport And he goes good by my love dude right when he hits that I have watched that a thousand times and I die laughing I'm timing and pacing every single time because there's like nice music that's being played underneath It's like the sentimental moment the most annoying sound in the world is good too, which I recently found out was an improv really that scene And here's how I found out because there's like all these There's a video of all these different like uh things in movies that if you look don't look at what you're supposed to look at you look at something else Yeah, you'll tell and uh Jeff Daniels when Jim Carrey's screaming at right here this guy like If you look at Jeff Daniels, he's totally laughing until he jumps in and starts doing it. Oh wow and they kept it in That's so great.
Yeah. Yeah, and that's like one of the funniest scenes in that movie and everybody's like oh I got something for this next take I love hearing stuff like that. Yeah, I recently just filmed it I love when uh when directors or whoever don't set producers or whatever are cool enough where they let the actors play Like I mean so much like a man and some great other comedy films like are you can tell it's like oh, this is heavily Yeah, that's fairly brothers right? Yeah first first one.
Yeah, uh, so yeah, you know they're just gonna do whatever. That's so cool Yeah, I met uh Peter fairly once a buddy of mine is good friends of them Oh cool guy super cool guy super cool guy 100% cool guy, but you wouldn't even just wouldn't even just regular You wouldn't even ever you know unless he introduced himself as Peter fairly. Yeah, or I would go like of the fairly brothers Right, you know, uh, you wouldn't ever you would never guess You know I like that when when you meet people who you're like oh, I would have never guessed that you're extremely successful And you're like of who's somebody like that that you met that you're like fuck I was really planning on expecting this person to be a jerk or something and they're like super cool Huh, that's a difficult one I've been you know what just in general. I've been surprised 20 inch whippers Oh, you know what I think Tony's actually calling into the show right now.
Oh, yes. Uh, hello. Um, Tony are you on the line? You're calling with your mind and free phone free.
Well, what did what did what did I even do? Okay, uh, sorry Tony. I'll look away. You're on the phone.
This is really weird I mean, oh, you know what? Sorry. I won't look directly. You're skyping in over there on the wall over there.
So You sound very villainy right now. Did you have a reason why you were You're driving this game. What does that even mean, donny my car has an escape hatch in case I get attacked there after me Are you afraid that you're gonna be a tax soon? Wait, why is Jimmy Kimmel trying to kill you and don bears don't just called in a second ago.
All right Thanks for calling in Tony. God. He seems pretty good I mean, I don't know what like if you woke up on the wrong side of the bed or what why is Kim will try to kill everybody? I do I don't know that's why it's gonna be the nice guy that we thought Well, it was gonna be a jerk because apparently trying to kill everybody John mare was mine though I he's very nice.
He's so like incredibly nice and funny and cool. Yeah, he was hanging around the store I'm like I was kind of like standoffish to him just like well You didn't want to bother him or anything like that and then but I was like, man He's like a real jerk is gonna piss me off. Yeah Complete opposite he yeah, he's super nice and he knows how to jail and hang and not be you know He got a good joke in on me once when I really when I was we're smoking a joint me and him and Ross Jeff Ross and because that's his buddy Yeah, yeah, he's friends with like Chappelle and Ross Yeah, smoking joint in the main room and it's all closed down and but everybody's talking and now I'm a John Merritt and this kind of circle and we don't know each other at all But it was kind of awkward because everyone was talking about me and him and just kind of saying like whistling You know I mean and so the joint comes to me so I take a bit and I give it to him and I go He's systematically dated every celebrity crush that I had everyone that he is like a little super hot girl like the top like five It's crazy that I had it's crazy again. It's and so I was knocking on my list I mean this is crazy We have the same taste in women because every of the five celebrity questions you would have he wound up dating all of them So I tell him that I'm handing him this joint in kind of last and I go based on all the women though based on the women you've been with I'm thinking about sucking your dick and John Merr takes a hit of the joint goes something about Lenia And I was like oh you're funny too.
Yeah, good looking tall talented funny. Yeah, dude guys. It's just got it Yeah, Ryan Reynolds thing. He got that thing he uh I did a music comedy song with Pat Reagan before Rose Battle And I didn't know he was there and I and he Jeff introduced me to him after it was like a while ago And he like complimented the song was like specific about it.
I was like this is so nice He didn't have to do that especially like music like he could be like other trying to do music whatever totally But he's like really catch it really like the lyrics are funny. That's cool. Oh sweet. That's a real compliment I know I was like oh, no, I'd rather have that than another comic say what's fun.
Absolutely because I'm like He's got plays music. Yeah, I'm like, okay great like number one hits and shit I'm like, okay, sweet. I'm into that and played with the Grateful Dead. Did he not?
I think that's what he did Dude, yeah, he's played. Yeah, I mean like a tour with that's some real guitar playing if you fucking that's no joke and guitar Yeah, I mean has is there anything like that you grew up doing that you wish that you Would have like maybe kept doing like a guitar thing I mean like like mine is like soccer where I'm like, oh if I would have stayed with that I could have maybe been like a really good player. Yeah I probably would be martial arts still. Oh really?
I took a tic-a-tac-one of like eight years. I actually taught it you taught tic-a-wanda Yeah, but then I but then when I quit it was really just because of girls You know what I mean? Yeah, I was at the you know now you're like you got a car you're about radio college all this night And I'm just gonna maybe I'll pick this back up later. I just wanna time for this right now.
Yeah, but not which I always did What's it okay for somebody like me who has never taken any martial arts no karate or anything? What could you teach me right now like if this was like an entry-level class? I mean entry level class is all about like um weight transfer, uh-huh, you know Like even just simply how to even throw up punch. Mm-hmm.
You know I mean a lot of people don't know So so for me, I probably don't know how to throw a punch correctly because I'm in a fight. You've never been in a fight ever No, not a real fight. No. Oh shit.
I think we got something we got somebody. Hello Sorry my car ID is a little bit blurry. Could you say who's calling in right now? Wow, man.
We this is a star studic comedians event today. Thank you Wait a second what kind of killer brother man why Jimmy Kimmel is trying to kill you as well You know russic potato for an elbow yeah, yeah, uh Theo have you ever been in a fight before? Shanky with a Now are you appearing on the show soon or why were you hanging out with Jim Kimmel with near craft food services? I mean, that's why do my laundry's if you're laundry on the set of Jimmy Kimmel live.
Yeah, that's right. That's right. They got that good So play up That's awesome Theo. What would you advise me since I've never been a fight?
What would you advise me to do could you give me an analogy of like me being somebody who has never fought before? We're fighting a muskrat Chuck and jive that's your fight advice for me Okay, Theo You saw okay Okay, well maybe we'll talk to the old guys who what's going on man? I don't understand and also I don't know that Asian lady have to do with the conversation at all Yeah, sounds like he's had a real day. He's had a real day.
It's not like she unhooked her job eat that cake Yeah, yeah, like she's not hinged it. She's never had it. She's never seen cake before in her life. That's wild man.
That's crazy It's creepy creepy in a way now. You are a big your big sports guy. Yeah, um, yeah You do the podcast punch or how long you guys been doing that show eight years now? That's like a pretty big accomplishment.
It's hard to keep a show freakin running that long. I know that's all makes up to teach your money now Okay, you know great. Yeah, I mean it's like I don't have to have a date like part time day job or whatever. Yeah, it's my job.
Yeah, that's great Yeah, it's great. Yeah, how do you make money? I'm starting a pocket. I make money like you do it for a long time You do it for a long time and people on your side.
Yeah, exactly. That's so cool I got three episodes in like three hundreds and hundreds and that's not even clicking all the desk watch shit We've all done and yeah, it's chronicle, you know, we've all been doing this a long time. Yeah, I guess yeah Yeah, it takes I mean it takes a lot of different things to get that going. I love what kill Tony has become It's fun, man.
Did you I of course you always want that but do you think this is that it's bigger than you guys had anticipated or became something Totally different the band had such a huge element to it Iron man in the middle of the right. Yeah, that aren't patreon like standing guard. Yeah, and then they would rotate the iron patrons with different comedians Uh-huh, it's it's truly evolved to a place where I'm I'm very grateful for what I get to do on that show And also it's cool that like Tony and Red Band have let us take the reins and evolve it into something Yeah, because it really is really used to just be a band you guys are a show within that show It's like it's a circus like an orchestra Today, yeah, like when I get there at eight o'clock Sign in for the friends of family. Yeah, totally fucking hosting here I'm here and then I go into your to the main room.
My first question is what is the band gonna be dressed as? Yeah, yeah, I mean yeah, we always keep my second question is who's the co-host right who's the guest? Yeah, who's on the gas my first question is what do you guys dress as? Like oh it's fucking Eddie Murphy and this good video gang we actually should do this this good video gang soon We've never done a really never done a good one.
I think that'd be a lot of fun. Yeah, what's your favorite one you guys have done? Oh, man, we have um we have our recurring characters that we bring back that we like we have some of our go-tos that a lot of fun We have like our like for me like some of my recurring characters that the people requests or they like us money We're gonna bring that one back because like I've done some videos and stuff since that and people like when is this coming back? We're it's in the works.
We have a lot of Tony shows coming up So he will rip here like found a Stacy and shanks the skate prisoner cap burglar Yeah, we just did Darwin the emo kid like like those are all like super fun to do They're like really they feel like characters I can improvise in like so easily there's a Westworld cowboy character that I really like doing There's just tad the douchebag character. We're like Fred Durst fans and stuff like that. That's good. Rogan was great Rogan was fun, man.
That was a lot of fun. Were you nervous to do Rogan in front of Rogan? I'm so freakin lutely dude. What have you just got pissed or fucked?
I'm blacklisted. I mean you're fucked. Yeah, it's pretty high-stakes very powerful. I know he is I'm only the most powerful.
I went as far as our circle of podcasting comedy in the comedy store. Yeah, yeah Yeah, so I was like I'm just going for it, you know, I mean like cuz I'm like I think he'll think this is funny It's all in good fun. It's all in jess and like I'm like Also the references and the jokes that I made as him I'm like these are all things that only a fan would know This is nothing that you know, I mean I'm not and we're like shitting on honestly. I'm fucking stupid Catherine of England's kid dude that the only thing I was honestly worried about I was worried about throwing out a line that he was gonna Look at me and go that's not me because that would have been the worst for somebody who doesn't Questions and characters screaming the N word.
Yeah Like oh wow he took a really weird angle. Yeah how dumb hot is yeah right wing Rogan Oh god, you imagine right wing Rogan right wing Rogan. It's gonna lie to you and it's gonna punch your face Dude, what's what's your team? That's where I go?
I'm pretty much all Chicago sports gotcha except for football like the Atlanta Falcons and only because when I was a kid I had an uncle that lived in Atlanta brought me a hat when I was like seven Do you go do you go to different cities to catch games still and stuff like that sure? Yeah, I went to a couple I'm gonna be in Chicago in July Doing some stand-up out there and then I'll probably go to a couple of comes in there nice That's the world's biggest singles bar they call it. Oh really? Yeah, because they always sucked forever So you but people would just go there 30,000 people just go there and get hammered 60,000 people just go there and get hammered You wouldn't even know who won the game again.
I mean you knew it wasn't the Cubs I would I still want to go to a Chicago Bulls game because I grew up, you know, we all like watch that Jordan Aaron So probably 60 Bulls games. That's so cool. Oh no in the Jordan era because also I probably saw Jordan play basketball Probably 50 50 times maybe that's awesome. Yeah, cuz I growing up in Kansas.
We did not have a professional team So Chicago was like right? They were so popular. So it's easy to be a fan when it's that exciting. I mean come on Yeah, there's a fun team.
Did you see that documentary about Rodman Dennis Robin in we can go to Korea? No North Korea Oh, anything I can recommend to this audience right now. It is watching this documentary on Netflix Dennis Rodman goes to North Korea. Yeah, it's when he met with when you know Kim Jong-il or whatever you know and he relapses on alcohol there and is a Real housewives of Orange County worthy drunk In North Korea as the only American in North Korea that isn't in a prison camp.
Just actinful. Oh, man You won't even believe it. It's wonderful. That's great.
He really loses his marbles Did you see the Detroit Pistons 30 for 30 about the bad boys? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, great so good It's a different game. I mean back then you really could fight somebody had a job to be like a guy And then that's a little amber I'm bill I'm bill and beer My doors were torn he has giant voice. Yeah, he has giant voice.
There's like that thing, you know Yeah, he's definitely got giant boys But that's why the Bulls got Charles Oakley because they were the bad boys were just rough and Jordan up so much Like we gotta get a bruiser in here to start fucking beat me. Yeah, I touch a Jordan Test we have to yeah, just fight him. Did you grow up playing sports outside of doing like Marshall? I play basketball Until I got like I mean, I was playing basketball.
I played basketball, you know Recruationally, I was in a comedy basketball league But I mean competitively like when I was in like, you know getting older in high school our team We had like a really good basketball team and so the coach did like this I think it's not that it's later in life. I feel like I'm like like he really fucked me mentally because he was like amen We know these guys are playing right now. These guys are here. You know, you're not better than any of them So you know, you're going to team, but you're never gonna play and I was like I go really you're being serious You're saying I mean you're literally the 12th guy I don't know.
Oh wow. I'm like I'm talking waste all my time practicing being the 12th man And you're like I'm never gonna play in a game. Yeah, I'm gonna. I'm out here, right?
Dang that's crazy, but not too too much. I mean I love all sports, but you know competitively. I always wish I play actually I wish I played football That's what I would always I did yeah, because I never did just because I was like arguably my favorite sport next to MMA and But I never did something like I'll probably get my fucking bell wrong or really injured Yeah, I mean like and now I wish I did now you do something that in my opinion is like a sport the way you guys treat it And that's the bets that you guys do on punch drunk dude. Yeah, you have done like for okay for I think that most my listeners are aware of Punch drunk and what you guys do but for those that are not Can you kind of explain how that started on punch drunk like the back Right from the pilot episode pilot episode we introduce we can do it eight or nine years Had that idea when we first met okay talk about the show Wow We thought it'd be a good way to get fans.
We were trying to like eight years ago Like how can we incorporate Twitter into I'm interactive with this thing? Yeah, and I'll think it all you know Maybe we do a segment where we read all these suggestions and discuss them and like oh that's terrible or you know But essentially they're all just horrific bets like some people send dumb ones like loser has to slap chill Rogan on the nose like I know I'm gonna slap a dumb around now But so let's say Ari and Sam are arguing or I mean are you in any combination of or there's been times where all three of us had something at stake So we would all we just draw you know one of the bets out you know, Sam Tripoli or Shafir Yeah, I mean even even anybody read is easy He's got one going right now with Sam that over if Tiger Woods wins in his next two tournaments or three tournaments He wins one of the next three tournaments Rent is easy wins Sam loses if he doesn't Sam wins, but they you have to go five days with Completely off the grid no internet no cell phone no television. Oh, that's a that's a huge bet That's a huge bet especially for right now and comics everything. How do you even explain that?
How would you even just the thought of that causing the anxiety dude five being off the grid also Go walk over and knock on their door You know, I mean super old school. I like that though I like the stakes of that bet because I could definitely maybe three days, but still but Sam Tripoli looks at his phone every ten seconds Of course he would die a lot of us a lot of us are constantly checking Instagram or Twitter or whatever Thousands how many times we look like 3000 a day or something crazy was a staggering number when I was like, there's no way Yeah, man, I'm literally looking at that right now. Yep. You know, I'm already at one I mean, honestly the big the longest breaks that I take from my phone are usually when I'm podcasting That's usually the longest breaks that I take yeah, whatever You know, I mean, huh?
Dude if you hop on a phone your podcast people like what are you doing? Oh, you mean you mean same trip? Does he do that on podcast? He scrolls well you just have a buzzer that we would hit that would let him know like Pavlov's dog that he's looking at his phone Wow, but yeah, so I think the worst bet while Ari and our in Sam know Nick Yusef and Ari played basketball This one was yeah, loser loser has to winner gets to jerk off into two socks 24 hours later the loser has to turn them inside out and wear them for 24 hours So terrible it's so disgusting.
It can't be healthy. No, so who lost? Ari had to wear cum socks. Oh, but the worst one was Josh Martin I don't know why it all involves calm, but the worst one Josh Martin Josh can involve though because he's a fucking idiot He goes he shows up to the comedy store fantasy football draft.
Okay, right? I'm gonna hang on a text him because he's gonna I want to have him call in and give his point of view on this Okay, maybe we maybe hold Colin pretty soon Yeah, but he goes so he just shows up to heckle because he's not even in the league He wants to be in the league. He just wants to be a part of it. Yeah, so he just shows up to the great Sorry to interrupt you.
We're actually getting a phone call right now. Oh, it says J Martin's. I'm assuming hello Is this Josh? Yeah, you actually are live on the arena, but it's bullshit everything you just said it was BS, but then you said it's true No, it's bullshit that Jimmy Kimmel's trying to kill me right now.
He really stab him in my side Why why is Jimmy? I think he's on drugs. I'm not gonna lie It's popped up on goofball Josh. Could you could you tell me?
How are you gonna involve in this bet because It's an idiot that doesn't prove why you got involved in it though So is it fair to say you got yourself into this predicament? What he's failing to mention here is that and Josh, how are you fuck you table? Okay, I know where this okay But what he fails to mention is that he said he would do the worst bag of bets. Whatever the worst thing was it was in there Oh, no He asked what the worst thing was in the bag of that okay, and we told him this one that he has to do and he goes But so Josh what was it?
Yep, that's basically exactly what it was You can see it on punch trucks YouTube page it's on YouTube Yep, yep, it's on YouTube right before the old Rose battle started they did it so I was smart enough to go like Josh Good talking to you So he so he agrees to do it now I'm fucking thinking at this time I'm in Chicago all he's in LA and Sam already's in New York and Sam's in LA Yes, we're in three different parts of the country right I'm in the middle and we were doing up with the podcast that week We're all gone all on Skype So if you watch that one all three of us are on Skype trying to figure out how we're gonna do this come right thing And I go here's what I'll do I'll just jerk off on it first and then I'll just send it to Ari I'll FedEx it's Ari so we're sending come across the fucking whole country I don't know if that's a federal offense. I don't know so I jerk off on this fucking towel like a golf towel It's mail it to Ari put it like bagging them on those dude first off already jerks off on it All right, you're also I want to go first I'm not gonna be out of common. It's calm Well, that's the thing is like also if you're sending a towel and the way it's like a range and stuff Are you telling him like this side up is the common this side down? I think no, it was just like a little blue golf tie you can pretty much tell which side was coming Oh, it's a blue towel gotcha so so and then already jerks off on it and he mails it to the comedy store Attention Adam you get do not eat That's so fun and it's amped like bro, I took a go-to mail and Tripoli what I was to worry or this guy is Just you know for the sake of time just jerked off on it at the comedy store I can live a long time and not actually I've heard that yeah I guess I guess we'll go with it yeah, and then and then put it in a thing and then Whatever the next Tuesday was a rose battle so he had to explain that bat and add a hot water he ducked it And just totally oh my one whole circle on his face.
It's so gross. Hang on. We're gonna know are we gonna know the call home? I just wanted to clarify one two things one my skin has never been so supple and to Jimmy Kimmel's trying to kill me okay Jesus, man.
This Jimmy Kimmel guy is crazy. I don't know what's fucking going on with him. That's wild man That is wild yeah, so and his skin I win his defensive skin does look pretty great. Oh Yeah, is this the latter time yeah, I'm gonna get into a segment called the kindness challenge, okay?
So every week I challenge you guys the listeners and myself to do something nice I like kind of stuff your heart it can be somebody that you know or it could be a complete stranger doesn't matter how big or small as long As you're contributing something positive society right so I asked listeners the email in tea great And I have a listener letter and I I never know what they look like no no They sound like so I start to wonder like what if I read it in the voice that I think that they might sure I love it Whenever they send in so I'm here this one goes Now you're my love your show so much and I was lucky enough to have a kindness challenge this past weekend My wife and I were out having some pizza with another couple when this homeless looking guy starts gesturing for me I thought he wanted some money so I walked to the door to give him some he actually tells me that he doesn't want money But some food would be really helpful we end up giving him about four pieces in a to go box And he surprisingly had tears in his eyes I asked him if I could also give him some money and he said no that he was trying to stop drinking and he was too afraid of Starting again if he had spare cash laying around we sat and talked for a little while longer And he left us with a huge smile and almost made me cry to be honest Anyways love the show and I hope that you and yours are doing well Tim from Alabama. I like that. That's pretty cool, right? Have you uh, have you done anything recently that qualifies like a kindness challenge you've like maybe done something for somebody?
Oh, God. No, you kidding me. No way man. And you know who I am course not Hey, is there another one?
There's there's some other questions, but you know actually I think there is one that's happened Somebody's calling in to talk about a kind of challenge actually right now. Hello Who is this this is to town tickler to town tickler town tickler motherfucker town tickler Yeah, I'm the one who's been tickling motherfuckers to death. You've been tickling people to death. Yeah, damn right Oh, you sound terrifying.
Yeah, I really am kind of scary real scary. No, not as scary as I did motherfucker Jimmy Kimmel though you killed Jimmy Kimmel through tickling. That's right. I tickled that motherfucker straight to the grave No laughing at shit, then he's like stop stop.
I can't be taking no more and then motherfucker took it more I got I got asked How does this qualifies a kind of challenge? Oh, I thought you said is any silly killers out there tickling niggas people want to call in? It's not what you said. I didn't say that.
What's a what? Hey, uh, took a guy. Did you uh, never mind? I think I heard something but never mind.
Yeah, yeah, you heard me motherfucker. What's your address? I'm gonna come tick him away over to you. I can't I can't I can't tell you where I live.
It's two seven two one. Hey, tea. Yeah. Yeah, I can't have you Telling my address to that tickler guy.
Oh, she is that Jason Timo Maybe it is it is it is yeah, yeah, it is and I saw you in the bellyroom back in 97 now That wasn't me. I was I was in a Chicago 97 So I don't really know who did you see in the bellyroom in the 97? What did the guy look like black woman about 275? She used to be on night court.
Hey, that Jason Timo. That's not Jason Timo. Oh, that's almost the exact opposite description I think you're thinking of Marshall Warfield. I think that oh, yeah, that's who it was.
I will fuck Jimmy Kimmel Alright, it's in a theme here. This is this is a really awkward dead now. I have to do an ad read right now This is really awkward. Um, I Think um, yeah, here it is This podcast brought to you by Jimmy Kimmel live tuning in every night on ABC.
Thanks for tuning in to America's number one top nightly Talk show Jimmy Kimmel live That was weird that uh, we're actually sponsored by Jimmy Kimmel live So it's been kind of awkward that how much trash talk has been by some of the people who've been Caught people just seem scared like he's like he's trying to kill everybody I don't know. I was very specific about that, but I don't know if that's what it is Seems like it. Have you ever gone to Kimmel? Is that ever gotten you in?
Yeah, I know I haven't seen I've done a couple sketches on there, but I haven't seen on there. Yeah. Yeah, so I didn't literally I left right before Don got there So I was it was dude is kind of interesting because we know Don as one saying you know what I mean Oh, yeah, and talking to the makeup ladies and stuff like that about Don like I like didn't like spill anything or whatever Like oh, you gotta like see you know, yeah, yeah, but they know him in a very different capacity pretty much the opposite side of the coin Almost the opposite it's literally the the tail soo the heads that we know yeah, he almost like can't curse and I mean I know he has to do like a clean one around well Yeah, so he's being a very like you want to be a team player you're gonna network television on a big show like of course You don't want to rack any boats Yeah, and he's so great with talking to people it's just very interesting for me to see that side like oh like they don't even know like What he can do like what like when he's like out of the cage dude just like the reckless comedy that like can take place It's amazing one of my favorites so funny dude. Let's get into this next segment fanning out All right, I reached out to people own the socials and ask them hey if you guys Jason T bone question What would it be and I got some great ones here really yeah interesting all right This is a great one from Kirk underscore sailor 3 fuck one kill one marry one like this stand up podcasting and sports Oh Wow that's isn't that really hard.
That's a really good question. That's a great question I would kill sports. Okay, and I would marry stand up and fuck podcast. All right.
I think that's fair I mean it's for you. I mean it's easy to kill Yeah, yeah, this one's a little bit easier for me. I mean actually exact to what you said. Yeah, yeah exactly Um, I would miss for it.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, if you can't even yeah do any yeah, they're dead at Mary out We're on Instagram. Hey, what is the worst you've ever bombed? Fuck that's a good question too probably in about three hours at the ice house I don't know if it's a worst.
I have a bomb, but I did have one like crazy experience with that where Me and my buddy were going on the road with a stuck stand up just a one night gig a long time ago Yeah, and in San Bernardino and we get there Friday and they're like what the show Saturday and Santa was gone Saturday So he's like no you guys told me Friday and literally there's nobody in the bar not There's like a bartender and a waitress yeah, and a cook that's it and And but they and stand up was I kind of like being insistent and I thought well still pay it was so pay sorry You know, maybe they emailed you wrong or some shit So they still pay us and so I was getting I think I think I was getting a hundred bucks I think we're both getting a hundred bucks each so stand up's like we're still gonna do the show But I'm gonna double you're gonna give you 200 bucks if my buddy Brian Jarvis at the end of each punchline He had to do a cartwheel So you just tell a joke and do a cartwheel and tell a joke and he gave me an extra hundred bucks to do my whole act naked What it was just for stand-up and a one bartender and one he just sat in the middle of the room and just was smoking and drinking and laughing hysterically Well, I'm just doing my acting is so sadistic just watching like your friends That's so funny and I was sitting I was laughing ass off at the fucking cartwheel till it was my turn I'm gonna be naked. I mean I didn't care about your negative Now did you do one of these where you're putting your hands in front? Yeah, you have to be animated you're flopping around I mean into it I like that yeah, so that was probably the crit one of the crazier was I've never I don't Everybody's bombed but I've never had one on such a run like I gotta get out of comedy like I mean yeah I mean there's been times where I've gone apeshit to an audience But you know what was one of those circumstances that led to that was just there was this English girl who wouldn't stop heckling Okay, and I was going on like second to last in the main room So it's already late everybody's already gone like you watch everybody perform in front of 500 people and now And just slowly like you know the main leaving leaving leaving and then by the time you get up there It's 15 people. Yeah, so I'm already mad about that like you know in a bad mood about that I felt like my feelings were hurt and then there's this one English chick She was probably like 50 and she was heckling the first two people before me So she's already there late.
She's already drunk. Yeah, he's already making other people in audience We want to leave and I just had in my head like she says she sneezes during my stuff Yeah, I'm it's over she's one thing and that's exactly what she did and I just really ripped into her I told her if that I was kept telling how shitty England is and I was like if there's any oil under your fucking shit All the country we would have bombed you back into the fucking snow nages Yeah, I just screamed at her. She took it. I bet you did.
Oh, oh Alright, this is I also get people who send in character suggestions. Oh, that's good. Yeah, this is a strange one But I'll read it just because I like that how specific this is uh-huh at Julio or Chata on Instagram great great Instagram name I know Julio or Chata. I mean, it's great.
Okay character. Your name is Jack Jack Hoffsky Square come and you're being demoted from regular police to school police There's a group of Mexican fifth graders and they form a gang and at the end of and at the end You have to kill them before school lets out also You should be hung over and really looking forward to lunchtime, but those Mexican kids look it up by holding kids hostage in school Yes, I love you. Oh, that's a lot. Yeah, that's a lot to take in Yeah, so so what's all play the I'll play the Mexican fifth graders.
Okay, great great great You will play Jack Hoffsky Square come uh-huh and You are trying to bust us before the end of school you have lunchtime that you're looking forward to but we're holding kids hostage So you got to shut it down. Okay, okay? Alright, you ready? So I've already been demoted.
Yeah, you got a chip on your shoulder. You've been demoted used to be a hot shot cop and now you're now You're school security Okay, great. Okay I can believe we're like holding up on these people over here. It's like crazy like I hate school so much like I can believe I'm like Like I think like a picture.
Hey, what's your fucking hands on your head? Oh? I said Jack guy. Oh, you think you're so cool, man.
That's that's officer Hoffskirt skin come to you. Oh What are you gonna do about at home? I'm a little too hung over for this. My partner's dead.
They want my bads. They got my gun They got my gun and I'm gonna deal with you fucking idiots. Well guess what I gotta freakin butterfly knife homes Yeah, I'm gonna stick you like a like a butter dude. I'm way too hung over for this.
I'll tell you what You're under arrest. Wait. What do you mean? You're going to you're going straight to detention I'm gonna slit your throw bro, and I'm gonna build a goddamn wall.
Oh now you're taking it there, man That's not cool, man. I know we're holding other kids hostage back there That's exactly what Jack Hoskin's work. Come does baby. Oh, no, I take it there.
I'm in jail. We go there That's where we go to jail Oh, hang on one second. Hang on one second. We're getting a phone call.
We're getting a phone call. Hello We're not having an expensive call what? What? I call had to be really expensive The show was brought to you by Jimmy Kimmel live keeping people in body bags for years ago Jimmy Kimmel live ABC watch it nightly That's very strange.
Yeah, that is strange here. Okay. What's strange scene? That was a strange scene and played like a we played it out Like it was a weird acting class for sure.
Yeah, definitely definitely definitely the way we played it out was like Was like first-time actors taking a trial class like in the Valley. Yes in the Valley And whoever wrote that what is it? Horshade Johnson? Yeah, you know, maybe Julio Horshade, you know There's a lot packed into that there's a lot packed in there's a lot we're trying to get in across a very short amount of time But I appreciate that that's why we asked for the characters suggestions at Prussian proxy Please ask him if he has any regrets about watching Sam Tripoli fuck a donut.
Thanks. I don't have any regrets about that And actually all three of us fucked the donut and then fight nanny ate it. So oh my good Did you put did Sam put the frozen hot dog in his butt? Yeah, that was all things comedy festival.
Yeah, two years ago Doug Stan O'Pied on Ari Live on the show dude and threw like pee on him. Yeah, oh and then and then last year They did the hot dog and ran as easy had to pay off a bet where this was another good one at the at the all things Comedy festival where and everybody had to have like they couldn't have their phones and shit Yeah, because run as easy had to act out a gay scene from a gay porno written by Ari Sam and I oh that's great So we had a three-page script So did you guys get together and you're just like laughing and having the best time writing it together? Yes hilarious and then are you up most of it and then and then oh I think all the other people you know what everybody's done I'm not there's a little day for him, but he so I noticed these two guys that volunteered to play the other two parts And they were really were making out like ran as it yes It rules where there could be no penetration that could be heavy-padding and some kisses some Funny as well. What does some kisses mean some kisses?
That's such a good area. I know it did Yeah, it's all about the gray area and a character suggestion from Prussian proxy Human resources from punch-drunk slash a TC and I actually think I'm seeing that That I'm calling right now. Hello. Is this Linda?
Hi? Hi, okay. Hello. Hi.
Can I please speak to Jason Tebow? Yeah, you got that's me Linda. Yes. How can I help you?
Yeah, we're getting a list of complaints. Okay It's a lot of sexual misconduct. Yes. Yeah, well you did I do recall that you guys did actually have a harassment in the workplace Meeting and all things how many basically because of us yeah, you guys keep whipping your balls out and stuff Oh, no, you can't do that.
They can't be urine. They can't be balls. What are you doing? Okay?
That is true. Oh, I think we're getting another call from ATC. It looks like Let me uh, patch them in real quick one second. Sorry.
Will you hold for a second Linda? Yes, yes absolutely. Hello, who's calling right now? Oh, you're going back to the bag of bags you guys get calls from Bergen calls from everybody I guess that's that's something that actually Linda was calling about yes I'm actually glad I have you on the line.
Well also I have another complaint out that I think that you should know about is Sam triply put his comment the microwave that is true out that did happen the other day and then are you how do you defend your actions for your friends? Sam what was even the point of putting coming the microwave? We have a bet that we call the white nacho and It's pretty much exactly what you think that is I'm gonna chip and you thought it'd be funny to put some white cheese chip that would be good Where were you when we need when we need a jib? Yeah?
Yeah, that's the white nacho white nacho. That sounds gnarly Yeah, yeah, definitely. I mean I didn't have to eat it. I already ate it I have to agree with Alan Landon this one tea That's a little intense, but the fact that you guys already have a great name for it everything No, like that lets me know that this is gonna be a pretty great bet Yeah, this there's no way that this one can go wrong.
They're out good. See it good. Good talking to boss. Sorry.
Oh, thanks for calling Linden elf, that's crazy. He does call anytime. There's two calls that I can get that I'm like, oh fuck Almagical and Sam Trippley's girlfriend. Is that when you're like, oh, I've crossed the line if both of those call me I know that chip please girlfriend and I'll magic.
I'll never call me to say like hey, how are you? Hey, yeah, it's like what the fuck happened yesterday. You know, I mean, yeah, what was one of those calls after? We lose she Gomez was on the show and Mickey Gall who's UFC fighter was on the show and Gomez was the first time out in LA and He had a Lakers hat on like it just bought this new Lakers hat And all of us hate the Lakers on punch on sure so like get that fucking stupid hat off You don't like basketball.
You don't fuck you look like a fucking tourist. Yeah, you know So then Mickey go look you convinced him to burn it to light it on fire Okay, so then we took it outside of the studio and then we Facebook it live and then so they lit it on fire And they put a bunch of napkins underneath but then they put the lighter in the fire too Like a huge explosion that like burned up a bunch of the rubbers and made a huge fucking stain on this fucking wall They're really fucking That one and then the peeing on at 18 Yeah, they were so mad about that and that's at a festival to also at that same one Are you was paying a bet off where he had to be shirtless because you know those snap pops? Yeah, I got to For the entire episode of a show could just whip him out at anytime anytime so I'm throwing at his bear back It's like definitely heard just here's a shit out yet. Yeah, so I look somewhere else in the fucking five or six I'm at once so that's why he was shirtless and then stand up snuck around behind him and just started peeing all over oh My goodness, right here is peeing.
Oh, it was crazy dude. So they're pissed about that That was a call from that I saw a magical lunch the next day at the festival he goes go in the studio It smells like firecrackers firecrackers everywhere. It smells like pee all the tables are flipped over. What the fuck happened?
Sorry about that buddy This is a Coming from at Scott, Moutman. What other jobs or side gigs have you had before comedy or during? I worked at a printed t-shirt for a very long time probably the better part of 20 years of my life I'm very knowledgeable about screen printing. That's why I do with all the merch for punch.
I can all that at all shit I've done and I got it a church once I was by the worst one like it was just like old church and like make this building no longer here Oh, just like clean this thing out just fucking wheelbarrow wipe it. It was fun to just like delete just destroy a place Yeah, haul it all out was terrible. Yeah, that was the worst. Yeah, the cleanup on that side gigs I mean I used to work at Starbucks used to work back in Kansas.
I worked at a car wash worked an Italian restaurant Yeah, I worked it My first I was a caddy at a men's only golf club. I would love that that was fun. That's fun. I would love To be a caddy it was fun.
I knew nothing about golf But I would just carry the clubs and just hang out and like why men's only not done against it It's a it's like one of those old-school clubs in Kansas where they're like men only I think they probably updated it since then But but dude you'd see guys who because of men's own mentally like you see guys like literally on every course Whenever they want to take a piss they'd whip their dick out and pee wherever they wanted to because there's no women around right What do you what do you told you that must have been? No, we have just people just Instantly in a game of golf we become complete apes right people just swing and shit at each other Oh, yeah, absolutely if they work for women, we would we wouldn't even have clothes. We would do nothing We would just fight and eat it's all we would pretty much just have one little little flap We'd just still have the flap. Yep What else we got Reginald grab grab the boy with the clubs.
I'm urinating right now, but I need my nine iron pod Me, geez, have you seen my potter? Your potter is on the back of the golf You're urinating I see you over there and yes your ball is over in the sand pit over there But you're used to the sand on you because you live on the beach you scoundrel you Some I summer at the beach and I winter in hell you winter in hell right I winter in hell you own real estate in hell very cheap These days really do you know a guy would love to invest in there? Of course I do because you know that is a destination spot for many people. Oh, yes Oh, Jimmy Kimmel recently just bought it The show brought to you by Jimmy Kimmel live ABC fine.
That's a week Jimmy Kimmel live It's so weird how many times they've plugged the show. I'm actually making probably should be making a lot of money Dude, it's ABC sponsoring the show. So I haven't seen a check yet, but they're good for it. Aren't they definitely dude great At bill borman I believe on Twitter asked what it was like to have to do comedy opening for an Isis be heading video I'm not sure what that means.
What was I like to have to do comedy opening for an Isis be heading video. Oh, oh, oh, oh That's a good question. Um, it wasn't bad man the pay sucked But on punch up we always want segment to be figured out that that's what that was but we'll always Sam will do his dates are you'll do his dates and then I do mine last and they're all just out landishly stupid stuff. Oh, you know It's always like on Christmas.
It's like a worst times in the worst days. I'll be at the big heckle account heckle con You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah a free baseball night at hecklers comedy club, you know Just dumb shit like that and one of them was was that I was doing opening up for an Isis be heading video, which uh, yeah The pay sucked um, but it was cool to buy somebody get their fucking whip whapped off You know what I mean? Having their head cut off.
That was pretty sweet, but yeah I he died way more than I did you know what I'm trying to know wait So that so this question is from a listener punch drunk. Yeah, that is this big of a fan right that heard you do a fake plug Yeah, I do every week at the end of the show that wanted to know how that gig turned out. Yeah, yeah, huh? Basically, I appreciate how I'm just trying to let people in who are like outside of that because that's so freakin specific Oh, yeah, while you while you do that, I'll Pull up some I'll plug some dates in this in there.
Yeah, absolutely man I'd love for you to plug some stuff Somebody's asking at sea underscore kill a man. Are you Theo Vaughn's real dad? You might be calling actually Theo's actually gone in real dad. His real dad was in 70 when deal was born.
You know, yeah, that's crazy Yeah, he said his grandpa was born in like 1870 or that's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. Oh, hello.
Who's calling it? Oh, thanks for coming back in dude It's a range for this song. Yes, you know, JK funeral up to that JK you're gonna the Jimmy Kimmel funeral to That's right. It's very strange.
It's it's strange how much a JK He's an influencer to me Right, right Characters once they die they don't actually die in real life So any soap operas that you watch growing up you thought that they were never gonna work again Mm-hmm. You know, I don't know I'll tell you this but they're still alive Okay Well, so now that I know that you that team is not your actual Penises I mean not really not at all not even what's your penis look like? Your penis looks like if a green bean had a mustache you've any other analogies that's I'm not quite picturing it You use the green bean analogy again, it's it we get You get any other analogies of what it might look like kind of like if like reindeer hit fingers I'll settle for that. I'll settle for that.
Hey Theo. Thanks for calling twice. I really Thanks brother Lot to say Theo. Yeah, I'm just glad that he you know is listening to this podcast and he's willing to call in a Cool, he does yeah, and then he sent me a how did that start?
Okay, yeah, I was a text read with a bunch of people a bunch of comics. Okay, we were in a secretive text read and One person who is if he's listening he's definitely gonna call in and defend himself Well, you know, it's weird that you're mentioning that we're actually getting a call right now And it's a little scramble on the screen. Hello. Who's this?
Oh? Oh, it's Earl. Yeah, oh dude Dude, this is really awkward, but uh Merle Skakele is actually calling in the show right now. Oh, there's my cousin Oh, hello Merle You know, he says those stupid things I try to send one of those big girl and she showed me a vagina shot look like the Saralike bed from Star Wars.
Oh Well, yeah, so that's what happened. That's what happened. So just be clear You got in a group where you guys were sending yeah dick pics. Yeah, yeah, that's a dick pic That's a hard gang to get into man.
He could jumped into it's a hard gang to get jumped into so and so yeah, that's how he Obtained it and then hit me. I didn't even always doing that But then he started saying that on other podcasts that's what he was doing. So then people started tweeting at me You know deals using your dick. Whoa, so then they got that was funny I didn't even fuck but then then it turned out to be true because he hit me up and he was like Yeah, man, I'm gonna need some more snapshots.
I got them too many people start getting suspicious I didn't send him more than it's funny though. Dude. That's hilarious. That's so great We know the day that Bert Reynolds died Yes, I like happened earlier in the year.
Yeah, so Earl was over doing my podcast, right? Uh-huh and he's it was dude Can you just real quick? Can you can you take a picture of me and he wanted to recreate the naked pose? Oh really?
So he took one of these pillows and he did that he put the pillow over jump and he's completely naked on the floor He didn't have to be completely naked for that I know he's hiding it behind a pillow I know he just wanted to get naked in front of you Well, I think he I think he I don't know how he positioned it But he ended up talking or whatever, but I don't know if he even the end up you I don't think we use the the picture in the frame or the pillow in the frame I think he's like oh be funny or without it So my wife walks in right when he's completely naked With groceries and I'm like and and Earl's like oh And I'm like I'm sorry like can you like go like outside for just like a quick sec? It's like this is my place girls naked on floor. I'm not leaving he needs to get dressed and early on real. I'm really sorry It was the best like so funny.
It was like literally her walking in and rather than me being with a woman It's freaking Earl and I'm taking nude pictures of Earl on my floor I know I'd rather walk in and it's you with a woman like get Earl out of here, right? Let's get into this final segment. Yes, sex talk Now this story is I don't know how sexy it is as much as it's sexually related and this story is Steve Ren is easy's least favorite story I've told him this story twice and both times he vomited when I told him oh well. That's fantastic.
Yeah both times He vomited now he has a weak constitution this run is easy character He can you can talk to him about it to see a dog take a shit and he'll start being like he says about a week Don't do it. Yeah. Yeah, he will really well. So every time he's on our show we like to Have him on and lock the door And then start telling him horrific things and keep him locked in the room because he tries to run He'll leave the room and run he's so terrified of the story not here anything like that because he knows we're trying to make him throw Oh, and he threw up and we were in Arizona too.
Oh my goodness That was also on our run a wrap. How do you like this little curved sopranos? I love it. We were looking at that beautiful.
Isn't that cool. Yeah, shout out to rich young and David Knowles This is like a it's like a $800. It's beautiful. It's cool.
It's cool. It's everything. It's really light here That's super light like so this is the only sex I can play without having where an extra because like everything else like my Thumb isn't strong enough, but for this like oh really? Yeah, like this is like, you know, you know anyway So let's get a team story that Steve Ren is easy hates this works.
Oh, yeah, yeah, okay You done did it now, okay, let's freakin do it. He's gonna get real sexy up in here I will see by will follow you along whenever you are ready my friend Yeah, the story starts about tomorrow in mid of the 90s the pornography was what pornography was supposed to be horrific Now this girl The sound name is Ashley blue. That was her name was a point started was on a podcast called a naughty show with me and Sam Trippley back in the day. We used to do that shit I asked this beautiful young lady was the most disgusting thing you've been asked to do a pornography Her reply is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard in my life She says she was paid to be in a buccotty video now feeling familiar with the car.
That's when a bunch I made a bunch of motherfuckers all beat off on a girl's face I said how many subunches she said more than 20 that's a lot a lot a lot of calm Because it was such a nice day. They thought they would do this outside in the woods So they get out up in the woods. All these people start beating off all over this fine young lady Ladies face Nobody wants to be wasting outcome they put his pyrex jar right underneath her face collecting all these man's seeds Took all this calm. There was in his pyrex jug Ported on a hot skillet in the woods and all the woods apparently smell like bleach Game of salt and pepper knife and a fork and I check a all that fried upcom Stories brought to you by Jimmy Kimmel five nightly five days a week on ABC Dude, okay, let me get this straight.
Yeah, yeah, because this is such a gnarly disgusting story. Yeah, it's hard to get through All you can yeah, so this is how do you know this person? She's a porn star and tripling I were interviewing her on a podcast like way long time ago before punch So and I said to her randomly because she's she's known as being one of those like crazy ones It's like real crazy. Yeah, like she's like all kinds of doing anything I guess she's famous for that so I go what's the fucking like crazy?
It's like most disgusting thing that you can think of this that you've done Yeah, and that was her answer that's wild because um so bullet points But cocky in the woods. Yeah collected all of the much commas. They could collect put in a frying pan put pepper and stuff on it And on a skillet like outside like Friday like fucking like scrambled eggs And there's a lot to and she ate it all with a fork and a knife What how much money would you if you and you have to eat it? Oh, bro?
$200 million I mean $40 The worst negotiate ever all right, what do you say I give you 200 million dollars? All right? I don't have that what about $40? $5 $5 See you thank you so much for coming on the show man.
Yeah, thank you for having me This is fun. I'd love to do this anytime. I'm not being rude. I was actually trying to find these dates Plug whatever you're gonna plug yeah, I'll follow the show follow me on social media if you're not already at Jeremiah stand up Check out the Reagan awakens album that is coming out on June 7th on all platforms And we're about to do a crazy kill Tony tour and look out for our different videos and I post online different stand up and Different comedy highlight moments and come to stand up on the spot next to us May 28th gonna be a good one That's always fun.
I did I did it in skank fest too. Yeah, that was fun That was fun wasn't it like a weird heckler there was something weird in that room? Well, there was just a weird energy like for that kind of show because the suggestions were so dark at skank fest But yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah, I mean, it's all like suicide and shit.
Yeah, yeah But let's see I will be in Chicago in July. I will be in Michigan in July. I'll be in the end of the end Skank fest in in Brooklyn in the end of June. Yeah, are you back at that?
Yeah, I'll be back at that Are you doing? Are you what shows you doing there? We'll do kill Tony and we'll do the jam and then I'll do hopefully a little bit of stand up and then we're doing Reagan awakens out there this year That's cool. Yeah, we're super because I'll be after our album comes out.
So we'll be very excited to do that Here's some other dates I got I'm gonna be at Moose Knuckles on Christmas morning for their big feed the homeless and kick them out the door breakfast Catch which side of the counter. I'll be on hope is delicious Then I'm playing dubstep on a tuba every sixth Monday of each month over adjacent to the Hollywood Bowl pretty prestigious Let's see and I'm judging the big face punch that the why didn't you go fuck yourself festival in Jersey last July? So don't sign up. It's already over There's always watch punch on sports every Tuesday on all things comedy YouTube page punch on sports YouTube YouTube page sign subscribe rate review And then lastly I got my other podcast.
I'm doing called 92.7 the pot is coming back. It's a fake morning radio show about fake city I'm so come get some Thanks for doing the show to love you brother. Love you. Love you.
Love you guys. We out