It's ya boy Jeremiah Watkins welcome back to Jeremiah wonders what's up y'all without fam what to do huh? How's your week y'all? Man, I'm tired right now I just got back from Fort Wayne Indiana We did two Kill Tony shows there and we did two stand-up shows and it was a heck of a time I want to thank everybody who came out and drove from surrounding cities to be there and I want to give a special shout out to Thomas Zwick Who really kind of challenged it up this week for me and the guys? So he is a listener of the show and Listen of Kill Tony and we've started become friends over the last couple years He's come to Los Angeles see some Kill Tonys and he freaking so on the road cast we we talked about our favorite snacks, right?
and He literally brought all of them for me Tony and Red Band it was unbelievable And he also made he's a glass blower very talented looking up at Zwick glass very talented with glass He made magnets for mine and Joel's mom and his mom also the next night made a key lime pie for Tony Hinchcliffe because that's his favorite kind of I'm talking he brought like four Mexican cokes Flamin hot munchies guardados sour patch kits Reese's Powered zero for red band Doritos it was unbelievable. So dude. Thank you so much It's so kind to you and really felt the love this weekend and Fort Wayne and those shows were a lot of fun So those will be dropping soon if you notice maybe you didn't notice I dropped a special Jeremiah wonders episode on YouTube exclusively with William Montgomery it was the first live episode of Jeremiah wonders is a 20-minute mini episode and They did not record audio from the board. So I did my best to salvage the audio with the camera mic So that was the reason why I did not upload it to this feed is it's definitely better visually than with where the audio is at But it's a great watch and great listen So go to my YouTube page youtube.com slash Jeremiah Watkins and thank you to everybody that's been subscribing I see the numbers growing and I appreciate all those reviews on iTunes all that stuff adds up guys Thank you very much people have been supporting the ring and watch and CDs and vinyls and the digital downloads you've been coming up to me I'm a person tell me how much you dig it and I thank you very much for that I got some exciting announcements in the pipeline about a Brand new merch store that I'm opening up online with some some fun t-shirts and some other things They'll be coming your way the first year my wonders t-shirts is coming it's coming soon guys so look out for that and Man you guys have just been killing I want to thank a few people who who I donated to my Venmo this week I started plugging my Venmo I was like who cares I'm gonna start plugging out because the PayPal every once in a while Somebody will submit something for it, but everybody seems to have Venmo on their phone and it's just way easier but Scott Thompson thank you Shane the Conti and Justin Boseart or bossart.
Thank you very much. Thanks Boseart. I'm gonna go with that. Thanks guys so cool you every little bit I appreciate at Jeremiah dash Watkins.
There you go. You guys hooked it up very dope of y'all I've been trying to put out extra content for my YouTube page to look up some kiltony highlights I've got a crowd work clip that I'm uploading this week as well and Just a lot of stuff. I'm excited about a lot of stuff guys. Yeah Some good things are happening some positive things and you know what I Encourage you guys to to find a new hobby.
I I found a new hobby that I'm keeping on the DL for a while whenever I'm confident enough to tell you what it is about it Then I'll divulge that information, but I've also been playing a lot of bill years a lot of pool lately with my buddy Trey Thompson and Excuse me Trey Ferguson shout out to you in Kansas City Buddy Trey Ferguson and yep and been playing a lot of pool It's been a lot of fun to do that and unwind with that after stand-up shows on the road So later this week. I'll actually be with Tony Hinchcliffe in Miami come see us there Miami And then next week Tuesday August 13th stand up on the spot. Yes, we're back Maybe with Joe Rogan Josh Wolf great fit Simmons and more get your tickets go do that Then we got some comedy jams coming up on August 20th And then we're also doing a September 5th Doing a special Vegas show and then Bellevue with Tony Hinchcliffe September 13th 14th weekend and then we'll be back in Dallas at the Beginning of October and then you know kill Tony manian stuff like that in October So yeah, I'm I'm going in circles talking right now I think I'm pretty I'm pretty zapped my energy level had some crazy travel But happy to be back in LA and doing some shows before head back out and grind in and out again, man So this episode man, I'm excited about this Danish and O'Neal you guys have been requesting to have them on the podcast for a long time It's always fun when I'm able to have a couple guests on the show and these guys are quite the dynamic duo I've known them for years through the comedy store. I have to follow them occasionally the comic store They're not easy guys follow because they're freaking hilarious and this is a giant riff vest It's basically almost one long film conversation Of different impressions and different characters and different comedians that you know we're calling into the show like I said The reach of the show is unbelievable as always always a blown away by the people who are able to call into the show So it's a very fun episode and let's just get right into it If you have a chance to check out their podcast do so if you have a chance to check out Dangi O'Neal live at the comedy store different clubs around the country definitely do that I love these guys you guys are gonna love them without further ado.
Please welcome Danish and O'Neal to share my wonders Maybe can help my singing I mean Okay Are you strong out again Blimby Looking forward to see it area 51 alien Popeye Yeah, wow 51 bro, hey if I if I said the word quatuf would mean anything to you Bro, it's a fucking guys with big forearms Yeah, I guess you're literally passing out right in front of a It's a detail right over there. What's up, bro? Oil wow So strong stands to take yeah, we didn't rent money so I put her out turn some tricks Wait you made her a horse. How you could pay rent.
Yeah, bro. Yeah, I fucking now People next to you side down that we live in fucking love it. I love chicks with no tits Yeah, definitely yeah, Robin Williams on the wall. Did you say San Francisco?
Yeah, I did you I knew you were here. Oh, yeah Yeah, you're good idea. I always loved you Like a sexual way. Oh, yeah, I had sex with a fish once I went skinned a fan You went a road to dough Nuts to much bro for life.
I gotta go I got seven more spots right now I know brown man me and I'm going nuts to butts and nuts in the middle of a second Trifly's motorcycle hey, I was behind me. Wow is a is a Sam Tripoli actually a calling into the show right now Some kung fu calls as a user Where is that Cancer, huh? That's why they're a this is why they discontinued iTunes Bill Clinton Okay, what you said huh when you said bill Clinton is that because you didn't hear it? So it's not a question mark after that huh did Al Gore great cuz ah do you remember cuz uh huh?
Yeah, yeah The planes man or I'm in this crazy shit. Any problems on it, bro. You can trails dog How'd you forget chemtrails them? Like that's the base of any good conspiracy theorists.
They started chemtrails and worked their way up Yeah, I guess there's pizza gate there's that one there's that one conspiracy Sam that There was a movie with Sinbad where he played a genie. Do you guys heard about this one? No, huh? So there's this there's this movie supposedly the Sinbad was a genie that that everybody remembers that Happening and Sinbad was never in a genie movie.
Oh, and there's this weird conspiracy like people remembering it from their childhood When you said that I was like, oh, yeah, remember that no exactly it's a weird like there's literally like poster images of it online But there's nowhere to be found. Yeah, it does not exist With Sinbad I guess so Wow Cia's you can't have that fucking color. Yeah, I do remember some bad ones saying BCIA and yeah, I don't really don't remember him ever being on a different world which is weird part of the conspiracy Well Sam are you hard of hearing you keep saying haha? What's going on?
I'm just gonna shoot straight from the hip here. When was last to me to cocaine Sam bro That's a conspiracy that I don't believe Was the marijuana laced with anything tried in college one time just a third time my chakras my game trails I find that hard to believe I gotta be honest with you Sam We just lost same trip Lee, I don't know the connection went out for some reason yeah But yeah Danish don't you good to have you on the show today? Yeah, thanks for having us so we've started the show already We start we're in it. We've been doing it for four hours.
Yeah, we were just hanging out. Yeah, man I slept over last night. You told me we were just hanging out. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, you actually still my couch Yeah, we're just sitting here old. I thought this was a traditional set up for just hanging out It really has though become the traditional set up. I mean pretty much is I mean honestly some of my favorite people like we can't schedule a lunch But we can you know what I mean?
What a podcast like the stars will align for that so I'm like all right perfect No for yeah for sure. There's friends that we only see on podcast. Yeah, and we once the mics are off you all communication stops Very good the conversation. It's like a booty call.
It's like hey, we both had orgasms. Yeah, fuck out Yeah, like you already requesting uber right after the podcast and yeah, I know it's the same thing to anybody more I gotta go. Yeah. Well, yeah, I'll send you the link the light turn on you see what they really look like oh man shit There's an awkward time afterwards where you're like, yeah, it was good Everyone's asking what to think of it was so was it was it this matter like compared to your last guest?
Thank you. I'm back. Yeah, like is this gonna be a recurring thing? Do you see a future with us together in it?
Or a number right? Yeah, totally and then like two days later there'll be a tax like sure it was good. You sure was already I lost all the footage. I'm really sorry Really record that don't I that only happened once I was doing a podcast like years ago with a buddy And it went so poorly the guests that we had on I looked on my mic we can't we can't release that It's not and he and it was his friend and I'm like I don't I'm not gonna tell you what to do like we can't upload it But this is garbage.
It was literally like pulling teeth just asking getting any questions I was like is that guy even want to be here like that's what you get for having our sinio Hallo So what excuse you just told me it didn't record dude my buddy ended up just saying I feel kind of bad He's like yeah, we lost it Now that guy's listening he's like now I know he's like now I know where what happened that day well At least we know you would call us up The only person I've actually I felt so bad I had to call tape Fletcher up after we record an episode She's we recorded at the store and it was such a good episode and I had to call him and be like dude I'm so like there's a lightning storm and it shorted out the board at the store just fried the card just lost really yep a Lightning storm. Yeah, what is the chances of dude? I know especially in LA. I was like, okay This is a freak accident wasn't even a lightning storm those were the ghosts of the store.
Oh, yeah, maybe we shouldn't have been talking about Yeah, they might might be a lightning storm now right Joey Diaz will go into the basement of the Comedy Store to record a podcast So there's a the ghosts. He's like fuck that. It's just crazy. He wouldn't think that guy while people would be you think he'd be I ain't scared no ghosts.
I know wait, maybe Shit Yes Whoa, that was a crazy call it's actually kind of scared me a little bit Wow Wow Is that like a like one of fat guys like 500 pounds, but he could get on my 600 pound life by just entering another hundred That's wild so you're I think you lost Lee actually I don't know how to happen. Yeah, he's a good guy. Yeah, he's a good dude lovely Yeah, I don't know he's probably on a you know, he's probably joining you get prepping for sure in Festari Yeah, what kind of supplies you need? So Ari I actually saw you at Skankfest and one of the highlights of my skankfest was well, this is a weird way to phrase it But you came out naked when Roy Wood Jr.
Called you on to the stage during the comedy jam He was he was pretty terrified already Instantly regretted calling you to the stage because you guys were I think he was trying to you know break bread with you because you know Like he's kind of hosting He took it over because you took a deal with Netflix Yeah, but you saw it you said stole You said stole which is a little harsh So during skankfest, so this what happened he you know as you know you called him out on stage Like he called you up on stage to kind of break bread kind of make a moment of it to sing a song with you And you came out completely naked and what I said after Ari left the stage. I said all Roy Wood Jr. Can think right now is this is not happening I Think he's pretty terrified. I don't think he wanted to join him on the naked fun dude Oh, that's you know what is it is there any truth to the fact that you're better friends with Roy Wood Sr Okay, that explains a lot.
Well, okay. Yeah, yeah, no is it definitely a passing of the torch and weird way? I know could you explain to the listeners and viewers. What is caulking an asshole?
Okay, cool, okay, that makes a lot more sense now. Okay, well that I guess it's nice of you then right yeah, right? Yeah, that's great. No, I think that's wonderful.
Where are you right? Yeah, where are you? Oh, you're in the Alps. Are you with your brother?
I'm a tari Shafir. Yeah, I'm with a tari Shafir. Can we actually talk to a tari Shafir? Why I was unaware that I had a brother he's a sister Sega So what's the problem?
No, no, what's it like traveling with Ari in the Alps right now is I think what Danish and I are curious about it's amazing Do you enjoy being naked as much as your brother? Are I actually taught Ari the time? Oh, you're his older brother. Yeah, okay Yeah, we're dealing with my balls.
He actually has balls balls in the family. Geez. Whoa, you have bigger balls than Ari. Wow How big are your mom's balls?
I'm sure she has exterior. I've never heard that as a scientific thing. I mean, I guess I guess I need to see the world more I thought are you live in Europe? Yeah, where do you live?
Oh, okay, so you live there so are you? Huh, wow, yeah, I have children what you have children are is vehemently against having children He tried to kill your kids. I'm going off of the Alps uncle. Are you trying to kill his own off?
Oh, yeah, well, that's a true like, you know, very It's a true fear. Yeah, that's what a she fear. We do. I don't hold it against him very keen and able kind of moment Is it true the only thing you have to chafir is chafir itself?
It's true very small tattoo that I think he did to rebel against the Jewish faith Oh, it's you Oh Now Atari should fear I heard that you actually have two tattoos and they're the hot lady mud flap symbols But they're in your lower butt cheeks like on semi-trox is that true? You heard right? Okay? The woman Atari you're pretty funny guy you ever considered getting into comedy or you just ducking the government so you can't really go Wow, well you give Ari all of his material You guys are like the Gallagher brothers except you don't smash watermelons You guys were inspired by the Smothers brothers brothers Jesus no you mentioned you have a sister kid.
Can we maybe hear from Sega Shafir is she there? Is she there? Is she fair on? Is this is this is this sega Alright So are you on vacation now with the chafir?
Yeah Really a chafir family reunion in the Alps uncle Morty you know what I've heard about it people are actually wondering if he was gonna call Into the show today. Yeah, I mean I guess I would love to talk to him. Okay. Okay.
Hello uncle Morty Are you online with us here on Jeremiah wonders today? Oh, sorry? This is a Steve or an Azizi I'm going to go Morty. I'm taking a dump right now He's not the phone to me, but yeah, I'm with the chafir is up in the house right now Wow, how'd you get invited to a chafir family reunion?
What an intricate practical joke and it sounds like it would cost you money to do but yeah, you know anything already tells me to do I'm game for you know what I'm saying. Yes. Yeah, there's been some sometimes you guys do some bets that are a little home erotic Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, didn't I didn't I and all these comedy festivals and some crazy go down with you? Yeah, like something with a hot dog or something brother Wait, wait change your life.
Yeah change my life. Now. Would you say it was a religious experience? Afterwards and I was like this is more religious experience than you've ever had I well I heard that the hot dog was actually boiled in holy water and then free frozen before it entered you Is it true that the hot dog resembled baby Jesus?
No Your favorite would balsa would Absolutely, can you? No, no, no with an a BAL essay like also the boss right? Yeah, you got it. You got a stage.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I think so okay. I'm still shocked that you you've met the elusive Atari chafir.
Yeah I had to come up here to pay off one of my fucking bet. Oh you lost a pet You to fly to the Alps. Yeah, how many bets are you guys up to because it's like this is starting to get a little out of control You may want to get your gambling problem and check I love to gamble. I'm up here I'm so the kidnap Atari chafir sons.
Oh, that's already put you up to that was just like a Nielsen What what the fucking basketball game I lost Lakers what was the one that they just had a championship the Raptors beat the Warriors. Oh, yeah, the Raptors I bet on the Warriors. Wow you did big big big mistake man. What a gaff.
Yeah, yeah So now I have to kidnap his kids to kill him or you said that way That's part of the bed. You had to kidnap his kids I have to go to all the continents and take pictures with the kids holding you it sounds like this loss was pretty huge man What a monumental bet you were confident in the Warriors, Steve. Oh, okay, let me down big time I blame Guy Fieri. Fuck that motherfucker.
Do you love Steph Curry? Oh huge fan? What is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know you you said it multiple times We know yes Steph Curry with a TH no within ST is it true?
Yeah, okay sure yeah, yeah, yeah, you almost went to Mississippi State University. Yeah, there is a truth to that Okay, yeah, I know what you're doing here Danish what yeah, Mississippi. I get it. Okay.
I don't get it Yeah, no, I don't have an issue pronouncing stuff now. I also heard that you almost went to San Francisco State Bill Russell's I just heard that you got accepted to a lot of different schools So we just kind of want to bring it up I researched the show and there is a lot of like what colleges did you apply to? What'd you get in? Where'd you not get it?
Yeah? Yeah? Well, I did do a semester abroad in the US are what you see? I think you added a s there Steve.
I think I think you added an extra S to us are Just a torment what did that other S stand for? Okay, so so it's twice okay, I thought Okay, cool. That's probably why we had problems in them so long as we didn't appreciate they were done and see the name Yeah, we're like these guys are kind of dumb like why are they adding you know You know, I mean a little repetitive. I didn't have any problem They were proud people and I like their style.
Okay. Cool. Wait. Hold on.
Is that a calling the other line? I think I heard yeah, I think yeah Hello, oh no, is this Tommy Yeah, where are you where are you calling from because I live in Ecuador now Nicaragua Tommy you live in where? Ecuador what okay, but why would you move to Ecuador of all places? There's comedy's never been hotter here.
Okay. I think that you're confusing literal temperature for comedy Yeah, I mean Okay, all right, we'll tell us who are some of the what are some of the names of the upcoming comics that you have your eye What was their name before that it was Maria Valdez Steve? Mexican Jewish lady, okay, I work with Mitch. Okay.
Yeah, you did you did yeah, yeah Do you have any problem communicating with mitzi's ghost now that you're closer to the equator? Here We'd love to talk to mitzi's ghost Do you want a cookie wait? What do you say? Yeah?
What is what's happening? Is it that a man or a woman that you were talking that you communicate with the Tommy's that man or mitzi can you speak up just a little bit? Okay, okay You don't you don't think you're both banned. What I don't know if you could ban us post-mortem We do you still talk to Pauli no, oh, you don't communicate even in the day.
Wait you called in just for Jeremiah wonders Wait, you're with Tom Tommy real quick, I'm starting to think that Tommy trained a parrot to sound like mitzi I think I don't even know if it's you know, I mean That's why I'm an aqua okay, okay, okay. That could be I healed the building I heard that Darwin Hines move down to Ecuador to do comedy. Have you guys reconciled Darwin? Okay, okay?
I'm here. Can we talk to him? Yeah, hold on mitzi's gonna have to get darlin is good to hear from you I mean, I don't know Jeremiah knows now Darwin you're a little bit before my time brother at the comedy store But it's a pleasure to have you here in Jeremiah No, why did you hate Tommy so much? Okay, okay Okay, well you hate him, but now you're cool with him Why would you have a lot of film in his house?
You're saying that he put a white only water fountain inside of his house A sign that says white only I dropped the m-bomb so many times we have an m-bomb man. I'm an m-bomb jar And the first word in the morning man wait wait Wait, hold on. Let me talk to Tommy real quick. Yeah, let's get him back on the line Well, Tommy is it true that you wake up in the morning the first word out of your mouth is just a hard-end bomb Yeah, it's sometimes you have a dream and to get out of it.
That's your safe word. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Tell you about the water fountain See I should try it a white's only water phones. Yeah, it's not just that okay. Well, what else? It's an artist colony.
Oh, okay Sounds like a fish fish in is it segregated? Yes, okay? God's plan, okay? This is my parents it sounds like you're moving away from comedy.
You're moving more into like eugenics Yeah, it's a little sounding a little different from Jones, okay So have you found any white people that have set up colonies and Ecuador that came from Germany? I have a hacienda, okay? I'm thirty followers so far, but it's not just that What's the other part of it? Yeah, yeah, we're gonna have crystal is not really what we're turn my calls We should call crystalia well, I mean just got a movie.
I read the traits you read the traits. That's interesting Did he knows me? You want to be in the movie? Yeah, I want to be in it.
I want to be in it. Okay, okay Is there any truth to the to the rumors that I heard that you're one of the most influential men in comedy and Ecuador? Yeah, I'm top 40 and Hollywood. I'm top 40 internationally, okay?
Yeah, you're in the whole country eBay's just in one town I think he's actually doing a pretty good job was like the commissars booming right now I'm gonna actually disagree with that pretty pretty hard. He was made see vision. I was fuck Can you give us a list of comedians that give you a tingle in your balls? It's impressive already in Tomerson All the griffins holy trinity of Griffin wait, that's the holy trinity of graffin Kathy Griffin Eddie Griffin are the only trinity of Griffin's if you watch deleted scenes from Harry Potter there the heads of Griffin door Wow, I had no idea I could see Kathy Lewis, but I don't know about the other two Kathy Lewis Kathy I haven't seen you at the store in forever.
Oh wow, how's your heart is it alright? When I used to park cars at the store, I remember the back seat of your car rival that a Brody Stevens It looked like a sporting good shop. Oh, okay. Yeah, there's a tree used to play basketball, Mississippi State Was he right as easy ever there?
Really? I watch her eat so much fucking box if he's date it was crazy Can't they use to be a phone sex operator Here let's pretend this is a call hello. What are you wearing? I want to slurp that spaghetti right off your shoulder blades.
So many sauce left You are is it true you have meatballs that are covering your nipples I got meatballs on my nipples and me balls on my pussy. Oh, man. God. I just came I haven't come yet So keep going keep going with what so what I got my Cat Kathy I think that was the ghost might be charged for this bill.
Oh, yeah Wow Oh, man keep it. Oh shit Kathy I got something on the customer. Oh, see that one made me blow my heart. I just got my boner bag from coming the first time And I'm ready to go again.
That was big time Wow, God their range Her range is unbelievable. Whoa. Oh my god. I think another call here.
Who is it? Okay, this is Matombo. Oh, the camping Matombo. Oh wait who is Matombo?
It's not just that It's the camping plate and Tommy Morris made into one man It's not just that. Wow, you got to work on your beats isn't it true when you block someone you give them the thing Oh, when you say your band. It's a no no no wag of the finger. Yes, but it's not just that what else is it?
Yeah, what is it? I healed the court you healed the court you healed the court court. I got one all the basketball courts What's your favorite team? Matombo?
It's not just that Matombo One half of your persona has been alleged to be a racist in the other half of your persona as Africans How do you know how do you bounce it out? It's very delicate It sounds like you have to walk a flying line. It's like a crepe Delecate yeah, it's gonna spill out very thin, but the inside is full of racism We actually we have another match of calling on it's uh, it's early nor care again. Oh my god.
Oh, yeah What's up, or you know, just ice where you are from? Oh, no, I'm from curling. Oh, it's me the dice man. Oh, yeah, you've never talked to me like this Ellen.
Oh, what's going on? Oh, sorry Just trying to you know, sorry to show up properly. My name is Earl. No, I'm in late.
Yeah, I used to fuck up Can I just say you two have so much chemistry that I don't know why you guys ever broke up? Yeah, I've never dated early. No, I bet it Eleanor I would say early no the whole time that that'll know I know why you had a huge cocks aren't you inappropriate? I only do appropriate stuff now.
Oh really? You know wait nice if I were you you sell to give him betrayed by early nor you should get the hammer out Wait, why are you showing me a clip pick? You got this guy got a clip ready to show I just saw the clip was just sent to me. It's uh, early nor in the bathroom and her clip is hanging to the left Why is there a tape measure next to it?
Hey, you know, these guys know a munch on it. Well, but early not Earl You like huge tits, but you're with in somebody's body who doesn't have the tits that you're looking for Yeah, I would say it's like a crepe over here. It's like a crepe that's might spill out. Yeah, it's like a lobster dinner.
What the? Man, this guy sound effects. I'm talking to my old friend Michael Winslow Wait, some wheels now Wheels get your wheels might need to get in on the wheels wheels wheels Hey, well for those of the listeners who don't know who wheels. Can you briefly describe who you are because briefly?
How can you describe somebody as a great as we as a labored as wheels? Oh, wow, sounds like you're almost like a tall Atari Shafir has been to Ari you were to dice Oh, wow nice aware of that or okay cool Isn't it true you you were a NASA astronaut for a little bit? Oh, okay. Yeah, just curious Do you know early?
I didn't know early nor was it a rolling or calm be cool. Yeah, act like you've been here before You put the head Fucking wait, this is fucking Katie see Barry Have I ever Drink a car bomb fuck it Captain you fucking bitch. Is anyone on my old phone number. Wait, why do you need Lamar Odom's phone number?
You know who you should get with his metombo You know fucking but I'm gonna try to fuck it for you. I think you can do it If you put the put the juice down for a little bit, I think he put your mind to it You might be able to drink you. Oh, you fucking straight food you fuck. When did you start drinking?
Like what time? Yeah, I started drinking for this current cycle that you're on also Can I just say that the phone lines on the show have never been more full? They're all flashing right now Jeremiah wonders that's what you called into Jeremiah wonders Actually like I yeah His parents are really pissed. Yeah, he just became a paid regular at the company store This guy like four times in the bathroom.
Did he really? Close fucking idiot. Oh, so it's his fault. Oh, yeah, well, yeah, you gotta blame Frank What was the who are you fucking big country?
I know big country. Yeah. Oh, that was a fucking blender. Yeah, that was a bad blood.
Do you want to explain? I No, good as long as I mean a Philly cheese steak then go to town. Oh, that's a genome. Oh, you know, that's all day Maybe we'll even go to gyms afterwards.
Are you are you drinking right now? Are you driving? Swerving How are you you're hitting the pedal while you're while you have rollerblades on your feet super hot Okay I don't know Understand what you're going from sister Okay, uh Danish on you know, I think I'm gonna have to clear all these clothes on my first second Just for a second. It's getting a little intense.
Wait, I just hit the dumb button. Yeah, there's there's some other phone calls There's some other ones that have been waiting to come in this is wild the FCC may get on you some of the language I mean, yeah, I was a little shocked my family show. Yeah, this is an all ages rated. Why?
Yeah What? Wow, the Wow Is it true your quit cause the earthquakes? Oh, yeah, I started drilling in some Chilean miners actually grabbed onto it. Wow, it's pretty ecstatic Wow, there's a early nor do you still appreciate large breasts?
Like from what perspective? Oh Wow James he works with our linar for years I think that was his laugh. Oh, it was his laugh. Wow.
Well James. Thank you so much Wow, I need a break. Yeah, we need a little bit of a break. That's actually the longest phone call we've ever had To open the show with it was a 45 minute phone call.
I hope you're a good phone plan. I hope so too because you don't pay by the minutes Still, I mean, I think Kathy charged me a lot. Yeah, I don't know what's Yeah, all those We talked to Vargas real quick. He's working with he's not available.
I just checked he's not a man. Yeah, clear the line So Danish and O'Neill you have the so far you have the longest phone call in the history of Jeremiah wonders. I'm proud of that. Um, yeah, I thought that that that's what that's what this whole show Well, this episode is No, no, I think we've been fed up illa good.
No, it's great. It's great. It's good stuff a lot of calls Yeah, I I was actually nervous earlier because Before you guys came over. I went to the dentist and the right side of my face was completely numb I was like, oh, I don't know if I'll be able to talk but uh, let's see what happens and it's slowly been wearing off while the podcast is going on What did you get done?
Yeah, it's called deep scaling they go like underneath your gums to clean it like you're supposed to get it done every like five years or whatever You never heard of it. Yeah, it's not like a thing that they were no I have like I have like bad gums So I think it's like a deep cleaning for gums. Okay, so like otherwise like stuff gets up there and like you know, okay Yeah, so they shot me in the face like a bunch of times like in the back of my jaw So yeah, I made it through how your gums feel cleaner than ever. Uh, well, they look They're so mad.
They're like, yeah, there's like what are you doing? What are you looking up in there? Yeah? Let's fuck no graffiti nothing.
Yeah, all right, you know, it looks like a Japanese subway It's like the under the hood of like an old 70s car like there's leaves and stuff in there like Is that a dead squirrel was in there? He's a leaf-flower The whole thing I feel like they start it's kind of like now you you don't even have a dog or do you have a dog? No, yeah, they're really trying to like sell you on this thing that you need to take your dog in like every six months for like a Thousand dollar checkup, dude. That's its own.
Yeah, like that's its own business that people are making so much money on I feel like the dentist They're doing that now too. Maybe I don't know. Maybe I've been getting caught this entire time Scaling scaling for a long time. No, no, no, it's expensive.
I the last time I got it was five years ago Okay, I didn't even accept the call It is passed right in Sam. What are you doing? That's the government dude patching him in wait. So Sam at any moment could just patch him That's unbelievable.
Maybe he somehow one of his dark web friends like gave him some probably give him some kind of hacking tip or access Yeah, it's pretty interesting. This is Karas and Keeler from a Wow the lines just they are lighting up here on Jeremiah wonders Garrison you got you recently lost your job due to a rash delegation You sound weak. They sound very weak the connection is you're gonna try to speak up just a little bit more Yeah, it sounds like it. Have you ever dated someone named Erlenor?
Yeah You're on your death 104 tomorrow Okay Get off the phone. Yeah, we called into a court case and I don't have time for that. Yeah Um, yeah, we'll be right back after this commercial break Attention all artists jeremy wonders is looking for a new logo for the show Submit your art to jeremy wonders at gmail.com and the best submission will be used for pretty much everything All other submissions will be plugged on my instagram make it simple make it sleek and make it something that encapsulates what the show's all about Now, please return to enjoying this awesome episode of jeremy wonders with Danish no-neil And now we're gonna get into this next segment fanning out, okay All right, I got some great questions from some people online. Okay, but uh, they wrote into the show These are people that knew we were gonna be on the show.
They knew that yeah from twitter and instagram I got it. Yeah, they wrote in questions and uh, there's questions and some character suggestions We'll run through some of these and then we'll close it out with uh, a segment that I call sax talk Where you share a story of a sexual encounter and I play some sweet sweet saxophone underneath Wow, so here we go. Um first off what does uh because a couple people commented this does bing bong mean anything to you Bing bong means a lot to us. He's a serious individual.
We don't know if he's a man or a woman. Okay. Um, he's he's murdered several people Really, okay, I say he I'm just using that as a generic term. Yeah, they I think he prefers He but we don't know much about bing bong.
Uh, we know that he killed he may have tried to kill belly part in at some point Wow. Yeah, if you want to know more about bing bong check out beach cops. It's on patreon. Okay.
Oh great a little mystery Yeah, uh, okay. This comes from uh on instagram and on twitter uh at head underscore trombley danish no-neil Uh, I'd like to hear you guys uh Uh, brendan dassie and his mom from making a murder and for jeremya literally anyone else from that documentary Yeah, let's see if we can maybe get that you know what this is crazy. Uh, there's three calls coming in right now Wow. Oh, wow.
I don't know. I don't know how that happened range, but uh, you know what the car idea The color idea the color idea. Uh, it's just as dassy. Oh wow.
It also says uh, state penitentity Yeah, so there's a so there's a couple different ones coming in uh, hello. Who am I speaking with right now? Yeah Wait, is this brendan dassie? Uh, who's this?
Well, you you called me, but this is jeremya wackens of a It's a mom Mom, do you think jencoz will still be in through this so many times? This is your grandfather car salvage yard It's a car salvage yard. How do you think it's going brendan? I'm out of the salvage business.
That's your dad mom Had to make a decision. So you know yeah, I'll tell you what you can't even grow facial hair like mom You got you there pop pop. Why are you saying are you saying mom got your beard or something? I don't like that Yeah, I see it.
I just saw her just talk to her. Where's Scott? Don't you raise your voice of me like that? Show me no respect around here.
Oh, who? Yeah, she brendan. This is your grandpa. What's going on?
Are you anytime soon? I'm in prison grandpa I thought you got really thought I was just a hoax guys. I hear you keep it. I'm gonna tell the word Don't be a snitch brendan.
You know listen to him. I'm right here for a music ice machine one of them steven So I don't know what to do is my your your a prison with steven. We haven't talked to steven in a while You say we're from steven brendan. You're steven.
You're you there. You're there Scott. Get on the phone phone sex Oh Joe So we're listening to my mom get on dirty. Why are we paying for the phone sex?
Right? We don't have the money. We're just got it. We're in the suburbs.
Are we gonna for now? Sorry, Bob. I don't know what happened with the phone. Why would you say you put the toes in the fire?
You got yourself into this mess. I'm thinking of telling only guy who's shankton other guys How many times right to tell your brandon don't be a snitch in the prison? So I talked to the police about it. All right guys, I'm gonna have to bring this up.
You kind of just I don't them sorry, dancion. I I They called in but then they just started fighting with each other. Yeah, it's kind of sad man. A lot of inner fighting also the other problem is a lot of time.
Yeah, yeah, it's a lot of it's a lot of responding to other things Yeah Now at from footer at V his or bro V hyzer bro make them do a singing competition O'Neill has a tremendous singing voice Get the auto tune ready. All right. What song are we singing? Oh, let's see here.
We sing the same song to make it So this Jeremiah versus O'Neill wait. Oh, this is chaffin. I think it's youtube versus yeah What song should we sing this would be a song we probably both not a little teap hybrid and south highway to the danger zone? Okay, just the chorus.
Yeah, yeah, I know that I know that I way to the danger zone. All right, whenever you guys are ready. Go ahead Is the auto tune up ready? Um, do we have music or am I just going on capella?
I think you're just going on capella. Okay, ready? Here we go ready. Okay, you ready?
to the danger zone So I'm gonna broke the so far in the history of the show you and jeff ross are the only people that auto tune does not work out Jeff Ross started doing his it was a mess. It was a mess. All right. Here's my rendition.
Okay here Okay, what what makes it not work for me? I think it's so the so little spirit there's a little you have to like if you just sing into it It doesn't work exactly because you have to know it's it's tuned a couple octaves up So you kind of have to have the knowledge to know where you're at so like she'll give O'Neill another shot Okay, so if you so basically go a little bit lower than what you go lower. Yeah, yeah, yeah Like Okay, let me try one more time below. Okay, here we go.
Yeah That was better it's better. It's good. Yeah, it's also it's hard to uh, it's hard to say when you can't yeah, it's hard to say that's Wait a second. He just reminded me of a phone.
It's hard. It's hard. Uh, maybe if you've tried it, this is gailer. Thank you.
Thank you. Uh, thank you I'm a machine a machine an auto-tune machine on eel broken. Thank you. Wow, uh, you know what?
This is really weird. Uh, kristolea is calling in I think he's gonna teach us how to sing real quick. Oh, oh, criss. I heard you on that new logic That was good.
Thank you. It's impressive pretty fucking that was it man. That was it. I don't recall the short and sweet.
I appreciate it Oh, hey, who's this is Chris? Oh, hey Chris. Hey, what's up man? Congrats on that zombie movie.
Oh sure. Yeah, I think they're going well for you Show you okay, uh, Tommy Morris takes a lot of credit for your career. Do you agree with that? I thought you know one of the credit specials.
We did. Look it up. So you guys are even Yeah, we're gonna save your life. Hey man, the desk bro.
Okay. I don't know according to Tommy. That's a huge debt. Oh man.
Is it? Is it true? Tom? Whoa good singing another thing.
Let's write the middle of the guy, you know, okay He's always teaching always singing always singing always He can maybe teach me how to use auto to yeah, kristolea singing lessons. Oh, I think that's gonna help out a lot He doesn't really give advice as much as just kind of follow the leader type stuff. Yeah, you do okay Alright, see you Chris Easy Chris. Well, how's it special treat?
Yeah first call or say goodbye. Yeah, I mean that was very he's a nice every time. See you very nice. Yeah, I was Yeah, it's Chris the leah ever talked to Kathy Lewis I don't know I think I think I blocked the gaffy for a while I know This from twitter at brett stacon make sure you have them riff on why Andrew dice clay in ln or couldn't make it to Iowa or does anything where dice Does the fucking really?
Yeah, look Illinois. It's me the dice man. We're not gonna go to Iowa You sound like a man, okay We're not going to and I do the fucking over here actually you know what dice I'm gonna patch you in through a special connection So you're not even calling in right now. So go ahead and just uh, you're actually this is a really high quality feed now Yeah, look, it's me the dice man and I'm gonna say fuck Iowa fuck the hard guys.
Fuck everything that you're doing over there I'm not gonna be over there now. Fuck you Andrew it's christmas Eleanor we haven't done that bit on instagram in years. Let's film this and put it on the gram I can't tell what we're doing now. Nice Eleanor actually can't talk because one of your instagram videos whether you punch or so hard that you broke A job out with wired shit.
Yes, I do the fucking now. Okay. She also has a terrible black eye against the out of it Yeah, next time you're not even gonna see me coming Iowa, but these are just videos right you're doing this off her instagram This is just for fun, right? Yeah, you ever see how I pan over I got carpal tunnel and both wrists I'm over there now.
Is that why you wear the gloves now? It's not for an aesthetic anymore. They're actually a corrective glove goes right into a bowling wrist brace Okay I'm sorry to hear you miss the show to that guy. Yeah, it was dude Uh, it was like guys doing the fucking last I guess so last night at the store It was pretty funny to see uh dice ghost Tony hinchcliffe to his face Because Tony has been we've all wanted dice on kill Tony for a while because he'll be a great.
It'll be epic It'll be a great panel guess yeah So Tony's you know build up the show and stuff like that and pitch into him. He's like what day is it? Then he's like oh, it's m-it's monday and uh, he's like, I'm busy all monday's like I got shows Tony's like you you you you you're getting booked on monday's and so I started ripping like hey, you know They sold out the shows over the weekend. That's me to add a show.
I'm like, uh, no I don't want an early saturday show out of the monday. I only do monday's ill do monday shows you dummy listen I got a guest spot at the ice house on monday can't be there Did he meet uh his namesake? They don't you has delved the comic up there in the vein of dice Oh the rice man. Yeah, the rice man the cham end of the board.
Thank you. Oh, wow. He's the rice man Oh, that's good. He's just our wearing leather gloves.
I know marketing Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he talks about eating shicks assholes. He does the fucking man. He does he's in charge Uh, let's see here. Oh Oh, this comes from uh at beanie dot thief question.
How close did you guys ever get to a movie they wrote getting made? I know they were writing for a while and I don't know if they still are Uh, yeah, we still are not uh, I mean, may we definitely we were very close to having movies sold gotcha and it broke our hearts with a A-list director. Thanks for bringing up the old moon Yeah, thanks a lot beanie dot thief for a couple years out of our lives on that one. Oh, who's that my dad?
Yeah, it says Danish at Danish is dad Well, thanks for writing in dad. I mean, wow, it's uh, I hate you fucking turn the screws on me like that But yeah, we still yeah, we're still writing. We still uh, we have a movie right now that we're trying to get off the ground We're not done yet and uh, yeah, we've done some tv stuff. So uh, yeah movies.
They're not making movies like they used to do It's hard. Yeah, absolutely Well, everything is like turned like action comedy, you know what I mean? Like with like huge budgets with a list ours There's not a lot of like just straight up middle of the road or even indie comedies that are being No, not produced unless it goes to a streaming service, but then again Well, those even be seen by many people. It's all either micro budgets or huge huge superhero budgets Yeah, nothing in between at carl and a short man for both you guys What's the most difficult night you've had as a comic and what did you learn from it?
I would say um probably most difficult night is at least once a week at the Original room last do you guys enjoy going up together more or is pros and cons ago and separately? We haven't gone up together a long while. Yeah, it's been a while. Yeah, it's been several years, but uh, it's uh, it's fun But I think we both like it is more of kind of a treat.
It's like birthday. Yeah, I can't have too much of it But when you have it it's always good. Yeah, our first headline gig ever was at zaines in uh, Nashville and we did the do elect That's awesome. We only done it three times previously.
We had to do an hour. It was valentine's tonight. Oh, that's a great night It was amazing. Yeah, it was it was so much fun.
It's like veranas easy was headlining But he didn't want to do that. Uh, I think that was sunday night was it? Oh, that was saturday night. Okay.
It was a second show that Yeah, yeah, and he turned off the lights by accident on the stage He opened for us and then we did the hour And but that was build his arm. Remember he said he didn't want to do like a second show because it was valentine's day So he's like let these guys headline by the way, he's calling it Oh He's like let these guys I'm trying to think of like a like a catastrophic anytime you bomb for me It just kind of takes the place of like your other bad memories I can't think of anything that's like a catastrophically bad that's ever happened to me like a worst case scenario I mean, I've done bad shows planning I it's hard to put it like everything from like people hating you that wanting to fight you What's how many times have you like because you guys both individually will do some crowd work this pretty avant-garde Sometimes it's like pretty out there. Yeah, how many times have people like legit been like oh, I want to throw down after this show I mean or during the set the advantage we have is that we're a little bit bigger guys, you know Yeah, so it's not also I have gotten into it with somebody and I have a pretty good eye if someone looks like they're like an MMA guy I always tell by the ears. Yep, usually trying to always look for the ears But I would say I've had it where it's been de-escalated by the time I got off stage Yeah, you can just like a balloon is like this like the air kind of goes out by the time you're done And you know too like who to keep pushing with and who to back off on you're like okay You can tell by body language and just stuff there's like all right that clearly this if I keep going down this road I had a one-time to store where I think I don't know if these guys were in a gang But they seem like they very well could have been and they were like kind of lingering around in the back hallway And so I was had to make myself scarce a little bit Once you get off stage to you, it's over but to them.
Yeah, it's a very much alive. Yeah, you get put in someone punch it I've been attacked a couple times now. There was that guy the military guy. Yeah, you guys were there that night.
Yeah, yeah You got hit in the ball and the balls he stood up and clocked me in the nuts He was an older gentleman. Yeah, what because I love what you do and but what about it makes people angry like because you're not necessarily Well, sometimes you do go like in a character go into people. Yeah. Yeah, I think what it is is I think that sometimes people I don't look like the guy who is going to do that Like, you know, I mean like Tony goes up with like this energy about him They're like I'm going to res people but like I don't my energy doesn't come off like that You know what I mean?
So I think when I get the best of somebody it pisses them off extra because they're like Oh, this this nice guy is getting the best of me like this guy like you know, I mean They're hitting the stomach and you nicks it really caught off guard because they didn't see it coming and like a lot of times when somebody will heckle me They don't think that I'm gonna be prepared to come back and I always come back really hard and they're like, oh, oh, I didn't know that Yeah, that's interesting. I could see that like yeah, you know, they're like, hey, we're all gonna have a good time Right and then like I had to shut a lady down like it was like her bachelor at night And she was talking those are the worst by the way. Oh, yeah, she was talking like I was I was featuring for Tony I was doing like 25 minutes and for the first 15 I let it slide Which I usually don't let it go that long but I was trying to just stick to material and build the show and Finally after a joke like after I ended a joke. I'm like yo Shut up nobody cares about your night right now This is a show this going on right now and if you keep that up, you're gonna get a divorce real soon from your husband and the whole We're like oh Like I can actually see that just the way you did that I was like oh I could see how she attacked.
Oh, yeah Yeah, you're like yeah, you're not saying anything and then you finally go. Yeah, yeah I just comes out like nowhere and they got a huge applause break because everybody else was hearing them yapping the entire time too Yeah, it reminds me of a horrible gig. We had it was in Seattle and we were doing the duo Oh, it was like Christmas week or like a week before that it was during all the Christmas parties in that it's always like clubs in the Microsoft Building corporate all corporate Christmas part like no one was there to see anything was bad man It was bad wasn't the owner of the fucking the Seahawks Seahawks in there He was like dude it was people could not have been more disinterested and then hate us Then they turned on us like we started fucking with somebody at the table when you do one person at a Christmas party They all fucking turn on you we didn't realize like 400 You know a lot of them were together. Yeah.
Oh shit No, is it easier to bomb together on stage or is it easier to take the bomb like by yourself? I think feels the same. Yeah, it's the same part hurts. Yeah, it's like getting shot with your friend is it hurt?
Yeah, yeah, that's out. That's a good example. Yeah. Yeah Painful and I that's a really tough question.
Yeah, cuz there's been just so many bombs. Oh, yeah Yeah, after a while. It's like white snow. It's like oh, yeah, yeah, yeah I don't know.
I know I that's what I always hate when people like I never bomb. Oh dude. Say that He's in everybody no matter who they are what level they are especially at the comedy dude I had a set that's that same weekend that I just did where I never do this from the stage where I was struggling because the Room was so rowdy the entire time and I was trying to like set the room up and make a good and At some point like this dude kept heckling me and I would like comment down that he'd keep reinserting and then I was just like Yo, is anybody working at this club right now? I'm like do I have to throw a signal to you guys or whatever for this guy like I'm done.
Did he get booted? No? No, I'm glad that more than I would like to remember So you have long long leashes. Yeah, yeah, it's a certain time at the comedy store when security I guess just leaves before I got hit at the comedy store They had already tried to get that guy I'm like, oh no, no, I'm talking to him.
It's cool Yeah, and like so they were already ready to bounce him But I'm like oh no, we're interacting like I'll let him get his jobs in because I've been roasting him a little bit and I let him and then sure enough like right after the security. We tried to get him out I was like I thought we were just yeah, I just abs into your balls I know right in there I had one last year where guy walks in the middle of my set and he sits down for like a second And then he just jumps up and starts screaming at me and then security comes and tells him to sit down and I was like dude His opening move was standing up yelling at me saying I'm going on that fucking stage I was like what do you think is that move is gonna be yeah? I was like get this guy the fuck out of here like you're not opening with that and then the next one's just gonna be a soft Echo from the back. Yeah, it's like come on.
We used to do a gig and now hammer only you're starting out I'll hammer dude flip the switchblade in the crowd to o' kneel as a signal of like hey man I've had enough that was when I was learning how to do crowdwork in the early days Just really a tough thing to learn dude It's very people don't realize how hard it is like to get over that hump of like feeling comfortable and making the audience not feel weird It's a lot of reps before I spent a whole year I mean it was a year straight of bombing and just doing crowd work and like bombing bombing hard hard bombing Yeah before I even started to get any sort of momentum with it But yeah, that guy was like I've had enough maybe you should just stop fucking with me And that room was done it was in a bar and no one was there to see comedy, you know I've never done a show like that where you're gonna do a pop-up show Yeah, I've never just watched a game and then they shut off the game or they just leave it muted and you're like writing my night Yeah, what is this like I wasn't I wasn't here for this and you're like hey The only style and it's that's kind of where we develop their style is like you would have to verbally assault them to get them to pay attention Hey, hey, yeah, like I'm over here if you insulted people they're like oh I have to listen to you found it Yeah, you're stupid you'd go do any show like I remember I did a sushi restaurant my friends like this It's more okay. It's great. No, it was it was the old meogies on the pink talk out. Yeah, yeah And he's like no, it's great I open the show I do 10 and I bring you up he's like I get everyone ready and literally people were eating dinner Then they just brought the lights down he jumps up on stage He goes here's your first comic rhino Neil and people are like what is happening?
I didn't order that role. There was this side. She's kind of a well-known black comedian a woman So then if she was giving me pointers for the side of the stage on how to handle it No, it wasn't Kathy, which made it even more giving you plays like yeah, honey you can do it It's like a laugh actor Harvey sits on stage with you open mic Yeah, they're making sure you don't watch your language. That's getting close to the air and time Yeah, the fuck that's happening right?
Harver Graham Buddy yes, I it's so hard to pinpoint. I guess I just are writing stuff down because there's not any of those are those were all great examples The switchblade that you guys are like yeah, we don't really have it. Well, you know, I was gonna night full on you start going down the rabbit All this three months. Yeah, I got shot in the leg last week.
Yeah, let's close out with this final segment sacks talk Where's the sacks? So I prepped you guys a little bit each of you can share a quick story of a sexual encounter Can be as innocent as grab or as graphic as you want and I'll play some sacks along with it And you're kind of like doing like a model has to be legal, right? Whatever you want to say there was a donkey. Oh, do you want real?
Do you want we go real? Okay? Yeah? I let you go.
Whoa. Yeah You're up to yeah, I said I'm gonna take first. Yeah. Yeah, all right.
I got one. Okay, it's not great But whenever you're ready well, the sex makes it quite sexual so this was in my days when I was single not single anymore I was using the internet to find women as people are known to do to track them down. Yeah, so to me and this lovely young lady hit me Up and we started talking and then she said that she wanted some tacos Exactly and so I said you want to talk what you talking about and she's like bring me tacos to my place and then we'll hang out And so I went I think she like she put in an order to Chipotle to me like I was postmates I think this is pretty postmates But was like hey go pick this this and this up and bring it to give me a dress and bring it to my place And so I go to Chipotle I get I don't think I even got myself food I don't think I was hungry I get the food I go to replace and turns out she has a roommate a dude roommate who's just sitting in the living room Which made it very awkward because I didn't know that her I didn't know this guy as like they could be married They could kill me and so she eats the Chipotle in front of me while I sit there awkwardly And so then I think she's like let's go in my room But her room was if you've ever seen David Taylor's room with a lot like that. It was like a hostage situation It was just the egg crate you can buy it like Ikea that people bring to college with them on the floor with a sheet over it I don't think it fit That's what was playing in the background and so I get on that thing because it's like just a tiny room is nowhere to sit Other than on the bed So we start making out And then I start feeling her breast assist in the whole time touching her chest.
I'm like something's something's a miss here There's something Something's going on I could feel something under her skin And in my mind I'm like this a tumor my guess what am I obligations here? Do I tell this woman that there's maybe something wrong with her? But the more I was touching it I could tell it was like in the shape of a box. It was like a rectangular shape So finally I think at this point I was just not into the situation It was like 800 summer like fucking 100 degrees and you're sweating I'm feeling some sort of alien thing under this woman's body and like what is this?
What's under your skin? And she was like oh I've some sort I forget the condition It was some sort of condition where she had a bad heart and it was a pacemaker that I was feeling in above her tits over her heart And I left that was the only time I paid for making out with someone via tacos and we never talked again But if you're listening I still love you well pacemaker tits Wow that was yeah, so that so it was such a turnoff that you're like I gotta get out of here Yeah, just the whole like everything at like I did my mind. Yeah, you got a chipotle. That was already weird Yeah, the roommates in there roommate hot.
I mean like an and Frank style closet room. I'm on an egg crate I was like I think I would maybe in my 30s at that. You're like yeah, I don't think this is where they really yeah Yeah, this is open my hook up. I gotta go.
I can't just so what did it feel like exactly when you felt like I'm almost like the remote control to a Remote car like the wet like sticking above yeah, you could feel it like you like you move your Touching like a remote you're like what is this adjusting Justing the valve she may have not live because of what I was doing to it. I was a plug Yeah, all right, I don't know you are up. I think I've probably told this story before but not the saxophone I was in high school With my girlfriend at the time and sometimes we would go home Early like race to her house after school because her mother was a teacher but in another city far away and We would get home so that we could have sex Because that was the only house that we could go to so We we're on the couch. We have a towel like a blanket over us and we turned on the TV You know just to make it look like we were doing something innocent And I'm my back is against the couch and she's in front of me and we're spooning but we're making love So there's a lot of thrusting in and out And I didn't know this but her brother was home the brother come home from college I guess and so he comes in and he decides to come downstairs and because he liked me So he started talking to me, but I was inside his sister still just look like a couple of kids just hanging out on the couch So he decided to sit down and watch TV with us So my pants, you know around my ankles But it still looks like I'm wearing pants because you can see the cuffs of my jeans and my socks are on But now I'm starting to lose my erection the condoms now My dick has shrunk up so much that the condom I was just hanging out of her vagina And he's asking me all these questions And then it was one of them hey you happen to be inside of my sister right now And then at some point he's like you guys want to come with me to like get a milkshake or something like that And we're like no We'll be up in a minute And I think there was like a look and then I think it dawned on him that Then I may have been fucking a sister right then and there and so he left and I never completed so I called Kathy Lewis on the phone And she had to uh fish out the condom With a rod yeah with a rod and reel Brother and I were throwing a hook and try to get it out So that was pretty bad But also very hot so now I can't come unless somebody else is in the room The people usually tell successful stories during that segment or no like steveau talked about uh his dog getting an affinity for eating his cum Yeah, like even his dog is into jackass yeah My dog That's cool Yeah, I had a missy martina's on the show and she talked about uh getting fisted in her butt whoa That was those are the more graphic versions and then sometimes uh like intentionally or she fell on somebody's fist or no She she's a porn actress.
Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. She's all on a Giga was this leisure time. No, this was a gig. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. She talked about she got fisted with a foot That's foot. Yeah. Do you get time and a half when you're on porn and like you gotta be fisted today or is it just same rate?
Uh, I forget what she said. There's different rates for depending on it's like a menu kind of You think that's one of the more I think they do pay you a lot for fisting. Yeah, because wait this actually dangerous. Yeah, you gotta be careful If you don't know how to do it Uh danger, no, uh, this was everything I hoped it would be a fun riff session With so many so many phone calls are you gonna be able to play like I didn't know You talk about normal stuff.
Yeah, those people About school. It's it's different. It's different for everybody like uh pea homes and I riff for most of the time people really enjoyed it So I think they'll really enjoy this one because it's kind of crazy and all over the place. Maybe we should have a d as brothers You're a fan of the UFC.
I am. Okay. Do you know the nick and nadee? Of course.
Are they we're good friends with them Are you really they call in a lot? Maybe maybe uh they can call in and uh they could plug anything for you after they call in Yeah, let's do that. Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah, uh, so I it's speaking of devil.
Uh, the clarity is going nuts right now It actually says ds bros fucking 209 dogs fucking eight ds motherfucker Was a fucking weird shit with my phone dog. Don't get fucking sprint motherfucker fucking Yeah, are you on a next cell phone? What what's up, man? 209 two eight pager dog.
Okay. Yeah, we all use them up here motherfucker. Oh, thank you here Yeah, dog. What's that man?
I'm fucking we're calling from a fucking payphone dog. We don't fucking need any of that digital shit We listen to fucking Sam trippley show and we know the fucking government's like fucking watching us and stuff dog Yeah, man 1-800-ca-L-L-A-T Yeah, but I don't know what that fucking spell is about. Okay, never mind it. Are you fucking like challenging?
No, no, not at all. No, I understand man. We got a fucking hostage with us dog. You want to fucking talk to you?
Uh, this is jorg sate vier from uh matriola and being held hostage by uh ds brothers We kidnapped him once before dog and we fucking left him in mexico in a refrigerator box But now it's fucking getting real dog. He ain't gonna fucking leave stock then he ain't gonna leave the 209 in one motherfucker piece George, are you okay? Can you tell me anything to make sure that you're okay right now? Uh, they are telling me to not unless I want to die.
So yes, I am okay, but uh, if anyone out there can help me I uh they are saying to stop that line of thinking No, you better not even try to send anyone because we'll be on our fucking mountain bikes and we'll be gone from this fucking location by time The fucking cops show up so you ain't gonna fucking help Uh, they have my cousin Luke here. So that is at least uh comforting that a number of my family is here Uh, please help us uh the ds brothers are not very good people and uh Stockton is a shuttle Whoa Okay, slap him Nick. He got a shot at you down. Yeah the stock and slap.
Oh wow too. Yeah, that's fucking tan from both brothers Double side double side double dragon man. They need to they need to remake the double dragon movie with the ds brothers Okay, we're in talk stock. Yeah, yeah, dog.
Wait, is it ice cream trucks down right here? Yeah, yeah, oh that's fucking gills old men You know gill melinda dog. No, yeah, he just won five fights in the row in the UFC Other than judging said he lost them but fuck those motherfuckers have anybody in stock that have gill Melinda lost a fucking fight. Hey, uh, I don't want to offend you or anything, but you uh, have you been hanging out with uh, pal steve ran as easy at all lately Yeah, dog.
He's a good fucking guy Oh true. You all you guys almost uh wrestled at the university Mississippi stater I don't know about that talk Guys From the Alps to stock in california Yeah Danger We've we've we've we've lost all those calls. Uh, there's too many people with with slight speech about it They can crawl in at any moment apparently. Yeah, uh, now now's the time where you guys can plug uh social media or anything coming up This will be out in a couple weeks from when we're uh, we're recording check us out at danishinonio on twitter And we have a check our podcast out called danishinonio on iTunes.
We'll uh, medicine square garden 2025. Hopefully. Yeah, we're going for that We actually have a show coming out of all things comedy. Oh, really?
Yeah, it's called the basement. We do not know when it's gonna be airing But hopefully soon august I have a feeling beginning of august. Okay, we'll be out. Hopefully it's out right now and go check it out Yeah, check out beach cops on patreon if you want the uh most insane podcast you've ever heard and I'm not downplaying that or Upselling it at all feel like adult swim.
It's the adult swim of the podcast. I love that It's the steve brule of podcasting. I'm all about that So uh, check it out. Was that it?
I think that's it. All right. Yeah, well, of course Dude, I've been watching you guys and uh, we've been watching you for years for years up at the comedy store And it's it's always a great hang up there. So it's nice to uh get you guys outside of out there and uh, yeah Get a chance of riff and hang with you guys.
Yeah, man. It was a lot of fun. Thanks for having me. Yeah, thanks for stopping by.
Thank you man