JW Ep 86 - Josh Wolf

Can't believe I'm saying this guys, but Popeyes chicken living up to all the hype that new chicken sandwich. Oh my goodness It's surprisingly amazing. We just got it out here in LA earlier this week and Man who Tony Henscliffe and I went there and we saw for ourselves and tasted for ourselves shocking Surprised that the internet was right on this one. How was your week?

Just getting right into my chicken sandwich views right away guys That's fantastic. Did you have a good one, huh? Baby, it was a rough a roughy. Let's I call it huh?

Let's clear that let's cleanse that palette with a new episode of Jeremiah wonders. What do you think? Huh? Had a pretty good week guys.

I recorded about last night with Adam Ray and Brad Williams So look out for that coming out on the next little bit here and I want to think some of the the listeners who came out to Santa Anna at the Worth House Brewery for that show that was a lot of fun. I went there with Mikey McKernan and My buddy Omar Nava and we did a roadcast on the way there which will be coming out next week You guys have been digging those roadcasts, so I will try to keep them coming whenever I go on the road I'm doing them with different comedians and stuff. Hopefully you like them just as much as you do the other roadcast that I've been uploading The merch stores now open what go to Jeremiah Watkins calm the first Jeremiah wonders t-shirt is available there You want to show your support that way and there's also a bison t-shirt You got to get your hands on one of those rainwalk is on vinyl is now available to purchase We have a very small amount. We've only got 50 copies So if you want to secure yours go get one of those quickly I think those will move pretty quickly and then the kill Tony ban has Kill Tony band calendar that is up now It's 12 of our favorite characters for the different months all the pictures tear out individually for collectors items and It's a 2020 calendar So you're planning to get it for our gift for somebody and it's a lot of fun We shot it with everybody Eric Stanford who's a very talented photographer and really really did an awesome bang up job on that Kill Tony episode This week was fun all that info Head over to Jeremiah Watkins calm and working on rebuilding Jeremiah wonders calm at the moment and Yeah, guys, I take song submissions on the show if I've been trying to do that again more and somebody edited a hilarious live Version of the song that Eric Griffin and I did on his episode.

This is from Nolan Anderson. Enjoy I Love the cheers in that it was making laughs so much this week guys I had some good clips that I uploaded to my YouTube page I uploaded a crowd work clip me as King Jeremiah from that former episode of Kill Tony with Bobby Lee and Berg Grischer And then I also uploaded a Tim Dillon ice cream Animation that sketch that we did and the animation is from funny coconut animatics. Thank you for for sending that along That's awesome. One thing the sponsors of the show speed we Bronx more pizza and mention music caveman coffee hit up all those companies They're all quality get your weed with at speed weed on Twitter and we're doing some very exciting stuff I'm recording out of speed weeds new studio.

So shout out to Gino support him He's an awesome dude and a lot of fun stuff in the pipeline Bronx more pizza what up Thomas Shiffer mention music David Knowles what up play boy and then also take Fletcher over caveman coffee So if you need weed or instruments or coffee those are your guys And if you need an awesome workflow tool hit up Monday calm go to Monday calm slash wonder get a free 14 day trial By signing up at Monday calm slash wonder if your company They'd like to sponsor the show email Jeremiah wonders edgmail calm And if you'd like to support the show you can also you can pay pal Jeremiah wonders at gmail calm or if you want to donate You can actually just Venmo me Jeremiah dash Watkins. That's easy for some people. Thank you so much for all the support guys Josh wolf is my guest on the podcast today. This is a longer episode Maybe I should have broke it up in the part one part two But you know you guys are gluttons.

Why not if you want to be a glutton you get some extra content this week So there you go. I didn't split it up I made it one big long episode so I'll check it through this this intro quick your kindness challenge letters keep sending them I love reading them here on the show your artwork your music submissions all send those to Jeremiah wonders at gmail calm I'm still in search for the new cover art and logo for my podcast I love all the submissions and I'll keep featuring them on my Instagram Thank you for sending those Jeremiah wonders at gmail calm And I'm gonna read you a kindness challenge letter because we ran out of time on this podcast even though it's extra long Gosh, and I got caught up in a lot of riffs and conversation So I'm gonna read you this kind of challenge letter If you don't know what it is every week I challenge you the listeners well as myself to do something nice out of the kindness of Your heart for somebody it can be somebody that you know can be a stranger can be big or little doesn't matter as long as you are contributing something Positive to society So what I sort of wonder is how I should read this voice in the letter They're sensitive because I don't know what this person looks like what they sound like but they did tell me they Give me a description of what they they look like at the end of the letter So maybe they'll tip me off they said My name is ransome was in 32 years old if you read this in my voice just know I'm six foot one two hundred thirty pounds And I have a 20 inch beard. Yeah, I fit right into this demo. Oh well interested to see how that sounds.

Oh well, okay Here we go. Here's uh this kindness challenge submission from ransome was in Hey Jeremiah love kill Tony and Jeremiah wonders my submission for the kindness challenge happened while I was working the other day I was with my construction equipment on the side of the road when I noticed the woman on the bike of The opposite side of the road about to cross a six lane highway I couldn't help notice when she got two lanes out and her handlebars came off the bike and she tumbled onto the hot pavement Across the road a metter as she carried her broken back back to the side she started on After she was okay, and she showed some road rash that looked pretty painful She explained that she worked at iHop down the road and that she was already running late At least she was close. I thought it was less than a quarter mile away I told her I would try to look at her bike in the meantime as a day went on I and another guy worked with titan or handlebars adjusted her brakes which weren't working well at the time and looped her chain It was lunch time so I loaded her bike on my semi and drove down to the iHop That's when I discovered it was point eight mile away from where we were She was so grateful that we not only fixed her by but also brought it to her She said she had bruises all over her legs along with the road rash still serving at the iHop all day What a trooper. I wish i had thought to give her a ride to work originally if I had known it was almost a mile away I would have for sure mistake made but my coworker and I helped her out Whereas she would have left the bike by the road with no help available I love the kindness challenge these things should be done by everyone all the time with the mentality of no payback and no need for recognition I feel awkward sending this in because I don't want more take praise well But I am inspired to share it so maybe others will share their acts of kindness keep on doing what you're doing The podcasts are amazing and always getting better and better.

We ran some walls Well, there you go ransing. Thank you so much for sending in that kindness challenge letter and yeah That's what I always say, you know, I'm not looking for people to to brag about this But it is to inspire other people to do nice awesome things. So thank you so much for sending that in I'm gonna read some quick tour dates and We're gonna get into this podcast already a long intro and a long podcast so strapping September 5th We're doing the comedy jam with the impractical jokers in Las Vegas And then we're back in Dallas, Texas at the beginning of october and at the end of october We're going to australia with kilotone brismin melbourne and sydney and stand up on the spot Is every second Tuesday of the month subscribe to my youtube channel youtube.com slash jeremywalkins and instagram and other social media at jeremy standup I love josh wolf. He's one of my favorite people on planet earth One of my favorite comedians to work with he's a ball of positive energy and I love being around him And I think that comes through anytime we riff and uh, we get that conversation together So uh, he was able to carve out some time for me and i'm super grateful and without further ado, please welcome my pal Josh wolf to jeremy wonders Check the gains.

Yeah, yeah, how the gains are good. Are you good gains? Yeah, the gains are good Have you done your gains work? Yeah, I've done my gains work.

You've made sure that the gains are all set up Yeah, okay because last time we talked you didn't know you didn't have the gains set. Oh, okay. Sorry. Yeah Now the gains are set.

Yeah, all right. Can I do your intro? I mean, I'm waiting for you. Can I do your intro?

Yeah, you know, you have one just one. Yeah, I place it there Oh, okay. Yeah, it's just sticking straight. Yeah, I know it's called a style ever heard of it.

Uh, yeah, you look good though So I'm like it. What's up everybody this is Darwin Darwin wolf here's my dad on my podcast today Uh, he's he's my first guest. Yeah, I'm really excited. I'm uh, thank you for having me on Yeah, whatever Were you done with the intro have you said you're gonna say my name or I was gonna like list credits and stuff Whatever.

Okay, let's see. Let's go ahead. Let's what credits. I'm curious.

See what credits you're gonna. You're gonna give me is okay Um, he opened for huba stank in 2004. Yeah, that was 2007. Yeah, 2007.

Yeah, okay. Um, you're gonna list any of the birthday presents I got you If I could remember any Well, that hoodie you seem to wear that. We got you that one. We got your eight eight exact hoodies If you didn't remember I paid for this myself working myself through high school ad-hot topic.

Yeah, but I got you the job So I really paid for it. Oh, okay. Yeah, don't you remember? Yeah, yeah, you gave a slight recommendation because somebody was one of your fans from a show Yeah, and I took you to them all and I made you go yeah, and you forced to have the sex talk with me at Orange Julius Yeah, well listen, you could have you already knew by then dad you didn't tell me are you ever know?

No, are you ever? I know what what okay. Tell me all right. Did you so you had you did you had sex with christy?

Yeah, really? Yeah, okay. Yeah, you want to know how sex works? No, but okay sounds like somebody doesn't know how sex works Well, you're here.

So I do have a don't bring up mom in this. Yeah, so girl Here's a deal my thing is you know my real question is can you hear your mom and I when you're in the basement? I can't hear anything in the basement Yeah, yeah, well you do block yourself off pretty good down there man You know we would love you to come up with my silent chamber of death We would love you to come up for a do you have to keep a crow down there? That seems kind of weird It's like Pat Crow.

Yeah, but crows like a fly. Why do you have to have a crow down there? Because I want to fly too, but I live in a basement as well. Why can't I bring another creature into this madness?

Do you do you you know I've been hearing you practice your music though? Do you have any new songs? Yeah, I do Do you want to give me an example of any of the new songs? Okay, okay.

What do you got? Oh, and I like the fact you're playing guitar again. It's really good now. I know the last song had a lot to do with me Is it still um, I'm excited to hear it.

I mean you might have something to do with you. Okay. This is really exciting Okay, I don't find the right chords Don't be nervous. I'm a little bit nervous.

I never play in front of anybody I know but I just play in the basement. Okay with your crow. Yeah with my pet crow. Yeah, guess what?

He's learning how to talk and guess what his first words were I have those are three words. I said first words Oh Yeah, I like the way that crow is getting chubby. We gotta get him out and get him this red as well Okay, you can't fetching my crow dad. I'm just saying we want a healthy crow, you know if we're gonna have a crow in the house Let's make sure he's a healthy crow.

That's all okay. That's here. That's exciting. All right Oh, why oh why do I cry?

Do I cry? Why? Because my dad He's still alive. He's still why I cry because my dad.

He's still alive. Still alive I sit in a basement with my pet crow The less you know about me the better I feel I mean I'll allow without you around that. I'm trying to say I was not prepared to hear To hear scolie on the track. I'm trying.

I'm trying. I'm a bx file span. What's up? Yeah, I'm trying to be involved in your music, you know, okay fine You always ask me to be involved so I thought I'd come in and help you with a little backup.

Okay. I mean I'm not gonna lie I kind of liked it. Yeah, I mean it's we could you know do it together. I mean do you want to take this next verse?

Sure. Okay. My son He lives in the basement and he doesn't think that we upstairs that we know He's downstairs most of the day Listen to Avril Lavigne tracks with his pants off. What we have a couple cameras down there, but wait, what?

Yeah, that's where we keep I've been spied on for my entire life I'll ever get a life outside my basement outside my crow because you don't know who I am You're never looking fan plays a guitar sings the sax He's like somewhere is hoodie and tuck his hair in tight. He has black hair And he dreams of death dreams of darkness dreams of a Alive he likes to go outside only at night and he lifts that crow swing around the back Yeah, I'm working on strongman. How's that going? Yeah, that was really good.

I really like it. I know I like the fingers gloves Let me ask you something about the fingers gloves. Um, have you ever thought of just going no gloves? You know what I mean?

So your fingers you can just breathe? Yeah, breathe the fingers Well, I treat my hands like I treat my life Which I feel like my hands should be suffocating just like I am we should talk about your relationship with your brother though You seem to be a little bitter about Jacob. Yeah, I don't like Jake. Tell me what tell me what it is about Jake You don't like he's the chosen one.

Well, he sits upstairs at dinner with us. Yeah, because he got invited You don't have to be invited to dinner at your house. Well, it would be nice because that's what family is or so I heard on family matters Do you want me to send you like an email invitation to the dinner? Yeah, yeah, I mean we did sure I don't understand but nobody else gets an invite to dinner at the house because they live there Oh because they just it's just assumed that they're welcome there.

Well, guess what? It's assumed that I'm not welcome there What about the fact that your mom sits at place for you every night and she has the milk that you like I know you like that skim because the other stuff's tough on your stomach. You still lactose intolerant? Yeah, I am And so how's that guy's that?

I've held it all in the basement? Yeah a little bit. Yeah Yeah, I looked up some articles that said that with less sunlight that it could actually reverse it Yeah, and how's that? Is that how's that work?

Well, the way it's gonna reverse it is I'm gonna hopefully be dead soon Well, you know what I find really weird about your place in the basement. You know what pisses me off? Nothing phases you You've heard it all. Yeah, you know because here's it.

I'm looking for a reaction here. Can't you see that? I see it every time, you know, I do want to say something funny about the basement You know you go down and you pretend like this is like your castle But that's where the laundry room is so you go down and you pretend like nobody's down there and we're down there fluffin fold and You're pretending like nobody's there. It's kind of weird, you know like you act like you telling me that you can hear me in the other room Yeah, it's a living nightmare.

Well, not like I hear you but when I go downstairs to wash the clothes I can see you you know we can see you You're not in vid you you can see me down there. Yeah, you're not in this I thought it was blending in with the darkness No, no, no, no, cuz I do you see me even doing down there Well, I see you when you know when you know, but he's there I see you wearing gene shorts and bright yellow tank tops Okay, I saw you not where yellow I saw you Listen to LMFA. Oh last time I went down there I heard you listening to LMFA. Oh dancing around to some and you were listening to that kid's bob album that I bought for you When you were 14 that you liked so much literally I don't even know if I can release this footage cuz I have to murder you right here Just you know the patient.

I have to murder Josh. Yeah, I call him Josh I'm even calling father. I call him Josh. My father is a creepy thing.

That is what it's the only way That was the only pronoun that would give you what about that? No pops father That's you you have to do you have to make it sound like you're trapped in a well when you say that? Yeah, I am saying about basement It sounds like you're in trouble. Are you in trouble?

Yeah on the inside? We're telling you it's my troubled your trouble your trouble You're troubled youth. Yeah, yeah And how would you feel about like have you ever thought about maybe living in a tent because I've I maybe they're right my dad's trying to kick me out of All the streets now make me homeless and live in a tent. No, I mean sure.

Yeah, that's my dream job to live in a mansion filled with tents No, I mean down in the basement. Maybe really get you live in a tent give yourself a little privacy So I walk down there. I don't get to see you in your yellow tank top listen to LMFA. It's embarrassing for both of us, you know You've never seen me masturbate.

Have you? I mean, I don't know if what that was was masturbating It was a real weird the sounds were weird. I don't know why you were so hunched over. Yeah that one Yeah, like you were like you were like you were yes, you know like oh, you know what pigs smell Yeah, that noise the kind of the smell truffles.

Yeah, yeah that one I'm not sure why you were doing that and what was why hunched over it looks like it's bad for your back like scoliosis Yeah, that's actually the name of my new band is that the way is that your is that is that what you called? You're gonna like that's your school like you get the scoliosis look. Yeah, I mean so I suffer from scoliosis at times Yeah, and that means that's what I'm masturbating hunched over two hands making noises. I don't yeah Yeah, yeah, that yeah, so that's a tough one I wish you put up a sign on the door when that's gonna happen so we don't have to go down there alright, man Okay, I get it you want me to have a masturbation chamber.

Yeah, that's why I was just pitching the tent nope on a tent But that's why I was my father's so funny you can make you can hit you can hop in the tent man And you know what and you can put a little sock on the outside of the tent You know when the tent is a rocker. Oh, yeah, that's a zipper. Yeah on a zipper You just zip it up you zip it up you put the sock on there. You're in good shake buddy.

All right, dude I gotta go but it's so nice to see you. I wish you join us for dinner It's not making weird noises in the basement. I'm gonna get you an LMFAO party tracks I don't like LMFAO okay, but I'm just gonna get it for you just in case you want to hear it and we'll get you an Chemical romance the used her of those bands. I have that's what I'm into I saw my chemical romance in concert with your sister.

We saw him over here at the play deal That's the kind of dad I have yeah, he didn't invite me to my favorite bands concert Well, I mean you honestly at the time we're going through a different stage. Yeah, it's called puberty No, don't you remember when you were going through that your your what's that what's that your country stage? You were doing like you're wearing the Gilbert and you're Luke Brian stage and you were wearing gene shorts Stop bringing up my gene shorts face. Don't you remember?

I do but I don't want people to know about it I wish you post a picture of you not gonna post a picture of me in gene shorts And the cowboy boots it was great and you'd walk up back and you'd mow the lawn it was really kind of weird I gotta go. Okay, I gotta go here. Wow. Wow.

I leave Yeah, this is what I want you to do. Yeah. Yeah. I want you to play with this.

Okay. What is it? Yeah, exactly. Okay.

Okay. This is gonna blow your mind. I got a new technology on the show Wow That looks amazing. Okay, so that's a phone and you're gonna have a lot of fun with these you just hit it Okay, yeah, and then you talk into it But you're gonna like this one a lot because it's like you're tripping not that I've ever done drugs Yeah, oh my god You know what I would really like I would like my waiter to have this voice I'd be like yeah, cuz if you ordered meat from your waiter and your waiter would be like I Like my meat well done.

Oh my god. This voice is the best. Let's see what else we got What's this one? Oh Okay.

All right. Well, I like this this voice right here is the voice of my uber driver who I was in the car with 10 minutes ago Who had a lot of very interesting things to say about the amount of Starbucks in Los Angeles? He his theory was that Starbucks was slowly buying up the whole city and that's why they were on every corner He was pissed off Let's see what this was was this. Oh Okay This I don't know what this effect is, but this is the trippy one Wow This sounds like those what was this kids trapped in a cave that You know that 18 kids who were trapped in the cave This is I just I saw him late.

It's right. What's going on. You're already recording in here. Yeah, Darwin was here Darwin was here Yeah, he was here hosting my my show.

Yeah, he wasn't happy. Yeah, I mean that guy's Oh, oh now I hear what's going on in here. Okay Well, I'm here now, so hopefully we can work on that I'm glad that you found the voice effects on the show. Oh, you know, I did we're all here for you Jeremiah I guess it's a good way to start the show.

Yeah. Yeah, where where where did Barry white go? That was my hello, baby. Whoa Hey, Josh.

How you how you been lately man? Like what's going on with you lately? I've been a little sick You've been a little it's how you throw sounds a little it sounds like Josh's throats a little I don't know. Oh no, I nothing to do with my throat actually.

I just had a little fever. Why am I sound different? You sound way different really. Yeah.

Yeah, like I do feel like maybe I gotta clear my throat a little bit There we go back to normal. That's things about right. I don't know. No, it's oh Somebody's calling into the show.

Hello. Who's this? Oh, this is my Uber Eats. Yeah, you're Yeah, I'm a little bit hungry.

It's a little embarrassing. You're reading back my order, but yeah Yeah, I thought it was a little I thought it was gonna be a little bit more discreet. I Is that who ordered the food? Yeah, I don't you were an I like to was in the basement is his profile photo on uber Eats a bat with its mouth open Okay, that is Darwin.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want me to bring those in or I don't even know where he went on his I didn't even know That he was here.

So maybe let me show front. Okay. Okay. This is amazing This guy here.

I mean come on, baby. If it's if it podcasts between these two guys Let's just say we had a wild Friday night Is one I wish I could do all the time because I smoke so much weed. Yeah, I mean, you know, you be talking you be Blocking Sometimes I just light up for the fuck of it Sometimes I'm just walking down the street and I say, you know what I'm gonna do what you're gonna do man I'm gonna like this motherfucker all I gotta say is swearing those sound better with a lower voice. Oh my god You know what I was wanting to say in this voice what you ready?

Yeah Okay, hold on. Hey, man. Are you okay? I'm pretty fucking far from okay?

Damn, that's right out of pole fiction motherfucker. Oh, man. You okay? No, I hit the bottom of my third vertebrae.

Yeah, I'll go. I'm pretty fucking far from okay Arby's we got the meats five for five to five Arby's remember when we have that five sandwiches for five fifty five I'm gonna tell you something right now if you order meat and there's more than one meat and it costs more than less than five dollars That ain't meat motherfucker. Then what kind of meat is it? That's that's called pigeon meat pigeon meat.

Yeah, you never had some pigeon meat You ever gone down to the park and been in the hungry and been like man I need a motherfucker pigeon right now, man. I'm so hungry. I could eat a tree branch. Yeah, I'm so hungry I could eat some mice's nuts and I'm so hungry.

I could eat a squirrel's storage for winter right now, you know I'm so hungry. I could eat a raccoon's fingernails, and I'm so hungry. I could eat a bird's olive, you know I am so hungry. I could eat a bats nest.

Oh bats nest? Yeah, do they have them? Yeah, I think so Yeah, why not? Birdhouse You got a bat HOA you got to make sure the bats clean it up around their place.

You want no messy motherfucker bats man I just got HPV from a bat Man, I got I got direct TV from a bat. Are you serious? Oh the fuck I came over and hit my the neighbors dish and I got direct TV from it Yo, this bitch bat flew down my chimney kissed me on the mouth and said wink you guys syphilis. I was like oh hell No, yeah, man, you know that bat civil is a tough man.

Yeah, it's a bad civilist. Yeah, the bat Well, that this thing the bat's if it's if it's this is twice as bad Well, you say it's if it's if it's you got to give it give it the extra Yeah, the bat civil is oddly enough. It makes you crave quiz. No sandwiches.

Yeah, which pisses off our beats five or five 55 we got the meats This voice right here gives me freedom to say some things. I don't know The crazy shit this this is like you remember and get him to the Greek of course the hit movie get him to the Greek with Jonah Hell this Russell Brand this old girl I know exactly what you talk about this voice is what I expect everyone would sound like if you smoke to Jeffrey, you know You smoke it Jeffrey a little bit of drug Oh Good is somebody throwing Just at me. Oh, no that homeless man is jerking off right now Can I tell you I saw in Seattle one time everybody I was walking down the street and there was a dude Eating the turkey sandwich jerking off into alley at the same time And he's eating the jerking at the same time homeless dude man, and I tell you what I didn't judge him because you know one man's Whatever who do you jerk on man's turkey is another man's jerky? I'm saying man, you know, I'm maybe I jerk off to whoever but this dude jerks off to a turkey sandwich You know, I'm not judging out here Honestly, I'd be judging more if he was in a business suit a jerk hit off even a turkey sandwich, and you know what else Look man, I've been hungry before but I've never been I'm gonna jerk off to this sandwich hungry, so I can't judge him That's your RVs commercial right that you ever been jerk off hungry We got the meat This thing's addicting What's this one it's a BG's filter oh Can I tell you when I walk to my shows you hear better that that that that that that that that that that that I walked every show with nights abroad way Very we asked for Barry give to be here not very white oh my bad motherfucker Okay, Barry white let's take that one more time.

It's staying alive whenever you're ready It's hard because you have to find yeah, I hear nine voices in my head. This is trippy as Did you get high more game here? I wish intergalactic where do you see that? Oh that's a different Yeah, we do like some spinach Do they have spinach on the tongue yes on some time that they have spinach and do you eat it and get very strong on This is French pop I'm speaking to yeah, I'm really confused by this Man this is amazing.

It's pretty fun. Yeah, I turn it off. It's yeah. Just start using that mic.

Thank you very much Yeah, wow that was that's honestly if I had that at my house I'd be divorced yep because I would only talk to her in a different voice you for sure if you were mad like as soon as I Was soon Listen here motherfucker Listen honey. This is a serious topic that we need to discuss I mean I think that our funds are going in too many different areas and you're spending too much money Do you need my funds motherfucker? What do you we both work in this house? When we both bring an income I think that's very rude of you to say I think the only work you're doing You know the work you're doing it's not up to par.

I'm gonna tell you some right now. You ever step up your game I'm gonna find somebody who wheeled okay now you're threatening me I Would never fuck you Okay, you're being very passive aggressive right now and can you just oh am I am I being very You're doing an impression of me. Yeah, you're doing. Yeah, you're just mocking me Yeah, you are it's very offensive is this offensive yeah, it is That one doesn't even there's no reason to use that one that one that didn't make any sense at all Now you're just okay now you're just now you're just now you're just now you're not even now you're not taking me seriously Let me ask you a question man.

Yeah, what do you know? I'm so curious how long my married two years coming up on two years in October We two years what do you find and I and I can tell you what it is for Beth and I yeah What do you find is the biggest challenge for her for what you do? Interesting I can tell you what it is for yeah, what's what's yours? Well probably for Beth she needs she'll even tell me I need look I'm gonna have to control the on and off switch on you.

I can't oh sometimes you got to take it down a notch I think the hardest thing on my relationship is Sometimes I get a little to in my head where I'm not being present in the conversation Yeah, that's going on or when we have our time together So I constantly have to work on being present and not checking stuff that can wait on my phone Yeah, you know, I mean replying to certain emails or whatever like There's always more of a sense of urgency that I put on myself that realistically I don't need to put out there as much What about you because I find this for me too and this is the thing that I was or I would drive me crazy is that like We're so much of what we do it revolves around us. Yeah everything. Yeah, you know we're selling ourselves all the time That's like that's it's really when people talk about how there's a lot of you know people are Into themselves and they're conceited sometimes this town It makes it seem that way because your business is you so you always have to think about you and do things about you You know what I mean? So so for me what I wish is I wish I could put that part of me down more around her and focus on on Just her that would be for me.

I wish I could do a little more that yeah I mean that's something that I work on constantly yeah already and I'm only you know a couple years in I always tell It's so much fun more fun doing things for me than it's for you I'm really seeing a lot of direct results. I like It's working out pretty good. I don't need pretty well. Yeah, but yeah, it's it's interesting two years into marriage.

Mm-hmm How long been dating her? We've been together almost eight years now. That's amazing. Yeah, it's so amazing Yeah, because you're young dude.

Yeah. Yeah, that's yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be 31 here in a couple months And how was your life changed since you cut your hair? Honestly, I think it's improved.

I yeah, I think it's improved like quite a bit I'm doing what's what's funny is I'm doing better on stage now. Yeah with stand up Because literally they're like that dude from the Nelson's is not here Literally like you know how we perform in where there's multiple planes of you Yeah, you areas right so straight on of course people could always see me with long hair But from the profile sides my hairs were being a little bit of blinders to some of my face my facial expressions Oh, so some of my jokes now are getting way bigger pops because they can literally see all of my face now They can see if somebody's over here They can see this the my facial expressions rather than some hair being draped. You know what I mean? Either and I was like why are these jokes doing better like I'm getting more laughs on the sides now It's very like very interesting.

That's fascinating But you know what the beetle thing about stand up any places like the belly room where we were last night Yeah, you know what I love about it. Josh Wolf does such a good job at my show Stand up on the spot. I love having him. He's one of those guys who he's one of my favorites to have because he's one of those comics who can turn any suggestion into Either a funny bit or a story that he's never told on stage before that like triggers from the past He's like oh yeah, this crazy thing happened that like this word unlocked it.

Yeah, that's in case so cool last night This dude one of his suggestions was he said what do you think about the accessibility of cocaine tonight? I'm like no, he said today. I'm like well. It's Tuesday So it's not that good You know what I mean, but but I don't do coke But I reminded me of the time that I had done I did math once by accident Yeah, and I had forgotten that story and I had forgotten that I had okay I got kicked out of a strip club Yeah, I'm excited that you're sharing this because it went over it was a lot of fun last night I could kick so I did my buddy I never really liked coke.

I'm always been a weed and a mushroom guy and but my buddy was like hey I'm gonna be social and I did one he I thought I was coke with his math and I did one line and it burned my right nostril really bad Which that because meth's gotta be scary. Yeah, but then I'm gonna quit her because I was like maybe my nostril sore I'm I try the other one I was like your boys know quitter I want to make sure that I'm giving this a fair shot Yeah, turns out both nostrils hurt a lot. I've never done math before This is how bad the night went Jeremiah. I got kicked out of a strip club for being too sweaty Do you know how sweaty you got to be that's all a whole other level of sweaty because they see a lot of sweaty mess It's going to those strip clubs.

Oh, you know, I didn't tell last night is how they threw me out So there's this one girl. I kept flagging for a dance and I'm sure it's like do you know how bad you got to look for a stripper in San Antonio, Texas? I'd be like I'm better than I don't deserve this. That's the standard cut off is like I don't do Josh Wolfen below Yeah, man.

Yeah, I did not and I was looking around this and we've all been in a strip club If you're not passing the book in there, there's you need to look yourself in a mirror pretty right? So I say to the girl you know, you know, you'll give me a dance or what you know, I got some money and my money was all wet Oh my you know, I mean it was a damp. It was a damp. You're that sweaty You're just soaked here.

I was taking money out of my pocket was damp. Oh, I was just my heart was racing so fast I had this clammy white film of sweat all over me I'm sure I thought you know when you think you look good and you catch yourself in the Mary like good God Yeah, what you thought you're killing it And then you know that piece of spinach between your teeth or something You know what it is for me usually when I'm really fucked up my right eye closes So I think I'm in good shape I look and I'm looking at my pirate on I'm like oh no like the pirate is back right so I I asked this girl for the dance. I keep asking for dancing. I'm gonna dance dance dance and so finally she goes Yeah, I'll give you that I'll go yet and so she stands security guys.

I'm like with this legit I was like we're going in the boom room. She goes. Oh, yeah, we're going to boom room and They oh they were like right through that door. You know what that door let's do those streets Yeah, I'm in the back Fresh Prince moments In my stupor mmm.

This is how fucked up I was to not only was I did I snort math but I decided I was gonna drink gin straight that night Oh my goodness for what I don't for whatever reason there's a reason why every rap song is gin and juice No, it was so bad. So I walk up to the front right and I say to her excuse me. I think there was a mistake here That's exactly what I said. I go I think they let me out the wrong door and She had been prepped that I was coming.

I'm sure she goes no they got you out the right door And I was like yeah, but I gave that girl a my money And she was like look girl and I was like that got it and two seconds later the two guys that I had done math with came from around the Building this they get the same fucking treatment. I did we were all like they must have thrown us out my accident But when I looked at the two of them and I assumed I looked like them. I was like oh, I get it. Oh, I look like this Okay, oh yeah, right.

Yes. Yeah, I look terrifying. We should go. Yeah, we should probably go Yeah, we look okay.

It's bad when you're that's why you where you should be carrying your money in a ziploc rather than a wallet It like you're at the pool. Yeah, yeah Your locker key. Yeah, we were so bad. We went naded a place where we tried You know my meth not so hungry went to a place called Taco Cabana, which is never new when you travel you go to Taco Cabana ever in Texas Fast food Mexican without a doubt the case.

Oh, there is ridiculous really but we went it We walked into when we walked into Taco Cabana Taco Cabana The hotest taco in the Lenda They said right away when they saw us they're like hey, we don't we're not serving in alcohol You guys don't want to be here I was like I like a bean and cheese and she said you gonna eat it you don't eat it in your car But it was less of a suggestion like you're gonna I don't want you in my fast food establishment This is how bad when you look bad when you get kicked out of a strip club in a late night fast food Mexican joint And neither one of those places once your business you have got some fucking problems at Taco Bell We have standards. Yeah, and the standard is a picture of this dude. Yeah You a couple years ago Taco Bell had talked about serving booze. Did you remember them the worst idea ever?

Yeah, they tried to do it nationally That would have been a disaster. Yeah a disaster. There'd be DUI checkpoints outside of every Taco Bell It's perfect. This is a major job 10,000 times easier.

Well, man tested positive for a grilled stuff burrito We gotta have to pull them over. I'm always curious now. You did a breathalyzer and blue beanie cheese Just clogged my breathalyzer. You just blew a heart attack.

Yeah, what is this? This is a point. Oh, no Yeah, you need you need to lay off the butter, man. That's what this breathalyzer says you need to do some stairwork out there We I got um pulled over your blood alcohol level is biby It's guac and chips.

Yeah, I don't know Uh, have you ever been at a DUI check? Yeah, I've had to go through multiple times really you ever pull out a car No, but there was multiple times uh here out here in uh in la I would do gigs out of the ice house. Mm-hmm. And they would set up a DUI checkpoint right by that highway up there So on my way back it would be late after I do like a red bands like that swatch show It'd be one o'clock in the morning and they would have a DUI check point set up out there And they would always check our IDs and stuff and I kept my Kansas tags and license for the first seven or eight years while I lived out here Come on.

Yeah, how come way cheaper insurance and I knew I was gonna fail a smog check if I got one out here And how many times did you have to say I don't know officer? I'm from Kansas, uh many times Many times did you practice it on the way to the car? Tell me give me a couple of the rugs. Okay.

Okay. Uh first one was uh, yeah, I just moved here. Okay. Yeah, okay Uh another one was like oh really?

That's a good one. The playing dumb is always always played. Yep. Yep.

Yep. I literally played dumb At LAX because they were about to give me a huge ticket because I saw I was waiting for my sister And you know how you have to keep making laps? I pulled over because she said she was almost out there and I literally was pulled over in this cop I kept checking my mirrors. He had been scoping me for like five minutes So he was ready to give me like a $500 ticket They're really expensive out there And I I'm not it's not a proud moment, but I did I did a little bit of a kind of special ed voice whenever he came to the Okay, I'm gonna come to the window.

I tell me uh, ready. Yeah, you're gonna move your car You gotta you can't park here. You're gonna move your car. I I heard a noise.

I'm sorry. Are you should you be driving? Yeah? Yeah, I'm picking on my sister Yeah, but you're okay to drive.

You're gonna need some to drive with you. No, no, I'm good My sister's here, but you can't park here. You gotta you gotta keep moving. Okay So you're good to move.

Yeah, I'll move. You know what? I love about this guy is that you never let him actually finish He literally he and this guy by the way to press it. He was so pissed.

He was yelling at me immediately. I'm like, I don't know what's going on I heard a noise. I pulled over. I like I was poor.

I was and I'm like, I can't get a ticket, bro Like this will level my rent check for the month. I gotta tell you it's not a terrible move It's just like my friend who was a really good fighter. Yeah knows that I'm not a really good fighter He told me once he was like, hey, man If you're about to get the shit paid out of you. No, Joe shit yourself I said what he goes shit yourself piss yourself something like that because no one's gonna beat you up if you just shit yourself Yeah, I'm like really he was yeah now after they leave you have to deal with the fact that you have shit in your pants but also Okay, not discrediting your your great friends.

Yeah, yeah, not discrediting that but also I've had adrenaline and it's hard to poop on command. I've tried to do it on stage I'm gonna be next playing for that. We do a lot of weird things for roast battle. One of the things we're gonna try to do is piss our pants I've done that with a bike and a diaper.

It's difficult since it's very hard to do it in front of a crowd Yeah, because your adrenaline is flowing and it's the whole thing of like I'm all I've been able to pee Next people I'm a problem at the stall, but when you're on stage your heart is racing and stuff like that It's really hard to pee. You know what else honestly and I don't think it's just that I think because on my show once I was like how funny would it be if we all should have died just to see what the deal is and who see who could do it And they were like that doesn't sound funny. I'm like, well, it is to me. So let's give it a little.

This is hilarious. So get on board. Yeah, nobody Could do it because your brain your brain shuts it off. It's like no, this is not the right place to do it Yeah, you know how long we worked not to do this even to uh Like I guess to even you know when you're at that level of where you're about to pee your pants.

Yeah, even have you ever given in? No What do you mean have I ever given in what you just go fucking? I'm gonna pee my pants What are you talking about? Are you admitting things you should be admitting?

What do you mean have you ever given in? Sometimes you have to give into the urge of of needing to pee your pants and then do what? So one time I accidentally and I this is for me like I need to pee my pants so bad in high school that I I started Unvoluntarily peeing my pants while I was driving. I needed to pee that bad.

Why don't you mull over? I did but I got pee everywhere in your car in my pants. Were you on your way to school? I was leaving school to go back.

Like I was doing this broadcast story at this other school I was going back to my school Yeah, what was the what's the point of action after you pee yourself as a teenager? I mean it was it was caught enough of Justin my boxers where I didn't go through the the jeans I had to wear my piss boxers the rest of the day. No, yeah, you want to take your piss boxers off? No, for whatever reason like I felt like that would be even more dirty than uh then just sitting in your own urine I don't know why I think that that was probably the religious upbringing.

I can't raw dog my jeans I don't know where they say in the bible that you're not I don't mean I'm very confusing over here. That was Sheldon not I gotta tell you I'm not well versed in the bible But I don't remember the pee in your jeans verse. I mean it's it's a weird book. Yeah, you know in um Lexington You know when I'm talking yes when I go to different cities I always like I will google.

What's the what's the weird thing to do in the city? Sure? What's bizarre? Yeah, because I like to go see weird stuff.

Oh dude. I got a great I got in a cab with this dude in st. Louis. I'm like oh, man Where can I go?

Someplace weird and he goes man I don't know when he turned and he looked at me and I didn't need to go anywhere because this dude Jeremiah His his neck air from the front attached to the neck air in the back He's full werewolf and he turned and he goes I don't know a place to look and he goes But I noticed this is the one to hear it in this he goes But I noticed that you're paying attention to my natural turtleneck natural I was like man natural turtleneck dude Work out some different names bro. What are you doing? That's really he's like I noticed he's paying attention to my natural turtleneck. I'm like yeah, man It's hard to not do yeah, how am I not gonna he was like, you know, that's what you told me I go So do you isn't it's hot in the south?

You don't you don't want to trim that up or yeah, he was a nuts conversation starter Oh, so he uses it as an uber guy to get the conversation start But I'm sure the conversation usually starts like this. What the fuck is that man? Ew Ew, what is that? Are you okay?

Yeah or a whisper? Natural turtleneck natural turtleneck, but you know what my okay So in Lexington he's talking about the bible there was a golf course that was biblic like bible themes And they had two courses in the same and one was the Old Testament and one of the new test shot up And I have pictures and videos on my god, and I said to the woman I go what's the difference between the courses? She goes the Old Testament's way harder and I was like yeah, that makes that makes Yeah, it's gonna be pretty challenging. Yeah, um, there's some plagues in the middle of it Uh the the holes were so ridiculous the whole number seven was day seven so day rest So it was just a straight hole that funneled straight into like you couldn't miss a whole one.

Oh my goodness It was so funny. It was pretty amazing But but but my favorite answer I've ever gotten love got two favorite But uh, I got one from impure Illinois where I asked the cab driver I said So hey man, take me someplace or I can see something I'm mostly anywhere else and two turned around and goes You ever seen a dead body and I was like no and he goes do you want to go? No, I know I'm good with the dead body. Yeah.

No my buddy. Just call me said he found one yesterday I'm sure it's still there if you want to check it out like what? Next to that that yeah sure let's go on this freaking adventure That's exactly why I'm not enjoying a dead body on the side of the road that your friend who seriously found Yeah, listen man, you're gonna look at a dead body and then you're gonna be a dead body. It's a really interactive tour You know You should I encourage you man when you go out because you're starting to travel a lot.

Mm-hmm go Because all these places have these weird little I'm trying to get better about especially because we're starting to hit cities now that we've already hit Yeah, once I'm trying to get better about the second time we go Doing something in the town that I didn't get around to the first time because you know how it is you get in this I don't want to call it a funk but you get in this rhythm of It's airport hotel club. That's the whole freaking weekend Yeah, and then you're like I might even like I should be taking advantage of this because for whatever reason It's way it's you get tired on the road just from the travel and stuff So you end up sleeping more than you do at home. Well your travels casual you usually get in at a bizarre time and leave a bizarre time You're usually losing some sleep and the truth of the matter is as a grown-up Like especially if you have a wife or kids you're like when's the last time I had a bed to myself dude? I I starfish that those king size beds.

Are you I sleep in the weirdest? Sometimes do you ever have you ever been ashamed when like room service or housekeeping comes into your room? Have you ever okay, let me ask a different question and I'll tell you mine. What's the grossest Thing that you found because I always thought a housekeeper Housekeeper should get together and write a book that like a short stories.

Oh, you can't believe what I found You can't believe what I found. Yeah, I'll tell you the grossest mine I was in a hotel room in Atlanta and you know, I like practical jokes And one of my favorite practical jokes to do Jeremiah is to set the alarm by the side of the bed for four in the morning So when you leave the person who's there next night is a foreign it's man It's so much fun. So guys if you're out there and you go to a hotel So rough and it's the alarm goes off before in the morning It was me it was me are you the kind of guy that takes off the do not disturb signs on people's doors? No, no, no because I if someone does that to me I get super mad But this guy who did whatever he's about to this what he did to me before and he obviously didn't know it was me But this took a lot so much forethought.

So I was in a hotel room that had a couch And I sit down like ouch and I go oh I felt a little like a little prick I'm a hamstring. I was one of shorts my man had cut one of his toenails and stuck half of it in the cushion and left the other half out So he had said a little booby trap man, and I sat right the fuck on so disgusting. Oh my god I left it there because I'm not the only one who's falling for this You know what I mean? I'm not the only one that's gonna die of whatever disease that is But that was one of the It's freaking fungal toe shavings in the couch.

Is your hamstring growing a toenail? Yeah, it's really weird. Yeah, it's like a shell I don't know how that happened. Yeah, my thighs have claws now.

Have you ever found anything gross in hotel room? Uh Not really uh not really that I can think of off the top of my head. Have you ever brought a black light into a hotel? No Oh my god, I bet it's terrifying.

Oh, you know the most terrifying part is the bathroom It's like who she is on the ceiling. Why oh, yeah, what's happening? Yeah, the ceiling in the bathroom was the I expected it in other parts, but the ceiling in the bathroom like who jerks off in the toilet and throws it on the ceiling Brian redman. That's who does that he literally talks about it in his act.

What how he comes everywhere in hotel rooms He literally talks about it inside why does he do that because he can you have other people are gonna be there? Yeah, that's red man. Oh, what do you mean? He just says everywhere and wipes it curtains whatever it's gross.

Oh my god Now are you a hand towel guy or a clean-up guy? A sock sock. Yeah, do you dispose of the sock after the weekend's done? I'm bringing home wash it I mean, how does it fit in your luggage with it being completely?

Standing up straight. Yeah, it's like it. It's a pencil under my sock. It's really weird It's weird.

I'm a sock guy and I'll tell you what because Kleenex I find a clean sock, right? Yeah, get this My buddy who wears a two jerks off in a dirty sock get this my buddy had to go to the doctor's like some draw on my dick He was jerking off in his dirty sock. Oh, he got athlete's foot on his dick And you know what you deserve it. You absolutely do disgusting Who jerks off in a dirty sock?

It's pretty gnarly. You know, I bought uh Jacob once As a joke and Jacob was my son when he was about 15 years old because I found him a dirty sock in his room So as a joke for his birthday, I bought him a 12-pack of silk socks with a note on it that just hit treat yourself And he was like this isn't funny. This isn't funny. I guess kind of funny man or Treat yourself.

We got all the meat and get their cocks out and get those socks out because it's time It's not a 2.5 smooth jazz. Hanes wait till you get your thing in that Where do I get my hands on you? Where do I get my veins in you? Make sure you put by me an extra-comfy silk sock one for my cock one for my nuts and one for whatever's about to come out of my booty hole What's coming out of your booty hole?

I think you know I don't know what it is. I think the kids call it jizz. Kids call it jizz come on now sing it together with me You got just Ooh-boo-dee-ho Wow, that was gross. Jizz coming out of your booty-hole?

You know that song right there was off of my 1976 album Come Get a Girl Jizz Gizz coming out of your booty-ho You know this next song I wrote a vote after an unfortunate Thursday night when I might have too much to drink I called it Jizz coming out of my booty-hole. It was This is coming up, yeah. Man, the medieval monk. It's hard for me to hear what the monk sounds like, there's so many of them.

There's a lot of monks that are talking at the same time. So you grew up very religious. Church every weekend? Oh yeah.

And so as a Jew, I don't know, very religious. What does that mean? Church every weekend? Did you do church school?

I went to private school. Yeah. And private school religious? Yeah.

It was Christian private school. Really? What did they say about the Jews in there? I'll be your, okay.

I'm going to be a student and you'll be a teacher at the school and you tell me about the Jews. Okay. This is where the Jews hide their horns. No, just kidding.

I told you in South Carolina, a guy told me once he even got the slang wrong. He called me a kite with a tee. And I was like, listen, man, I don't want to correct you as a fucking terrible bigot. Yeah, but Jews ain't flying kites.

Let me help you out here a little bit, bro. Yeah. Let me just do this. At least I want to be insulted correctly.

You dumb fuck. Yeah. He told me because I usually don't think you kites are that funny. I'm like kite.

Man, you don't know about any of the Jews at all. You know, the kites that are on the industry. You know, the kites who in charge of all the money and then they control the weather. Yeah, that's where the expression go fly a kite comes from.

Exactly. I did find out, by the way, you know, I wasn't doubling recently and I went to the net. Isn't doubling awesome, dude. It's one of my favorite stops that I've ever done.

Did you go to the National Leprechaun Museum? No, what? Jeremiah. Next time I'm on there, I'm definitely going there.

So, first of all, if you ever wondered what happened to the person in your high school who put together all of the musical theater production, they are giving the tours at the National Leprechaun Museum. Oh, she was given 110%. You know what I think she's actually calling it in the show right now. It's very interesting.

She actually has, it's just Talia is calling into the show right now. I'm so happy I can't do the Irish accent. Okay, let me see. So, and I'll tell you, I just want to let you know I was so excited about the tour you gave me at the...

Absolutely, absolutely. Now, can you tell me a little more about why you have a box of Lucky Charms behind some glass cases? I'm not going to be family, are you? Yeah, yeah.

It seems to me that you can get them at the supermarket. Why would you keep it behind the glass case? Because these are special editions. Before, you know what they added the hard source of clothes and bloons.

Yeah. And so, one thing I thought was very fascinating. This is a misprint on the box where none of that much of us were actually added. Oh, really?

What was in there? Just the grains. Just the grains. That's called Cheerios.

I know. So, I said, that's in Hollywood. It's like the hollow of fame, sorry. Sometimes it makes me slip out by talk for me.

No, I understand. That's why I'm in the museum. I'm not a fan of music with a lot of replicants. And so, how come, now I didn't know this and I'm so glad you taught me, but that the leprechauns don't usually, they don't actually wear green.

No, not at all. That's just a fable. That's the television in Hollywood. It's sort of a brain.

But that's not true. Did you know that Mickey Mouse is not actually even a mouse starting up? Is that right? What was he?

Oh, he was Tasmanian down. Is that right? No, it's not over the place. Yeah, that's amazing.

Tell me about some other kind of folklore I may not know about the leprechauns. How did you know rainbows used to be one color? Really? What color was that?

Brown. Brown. A little depressing. I know that's Ireland.

What other things might not know about the leprechauns? Other things, with actually don't live in homes like objects. Oh, is that right? Where do they live?

They live in houses just like normal people. Yeah, but I understand they're being into duplexes. They like to live in duplexes. How many leprechauns can you fit in a general duplex?

Is there a rule of thumb? Well, a set of six leprechauns. Yeah. A call to a scotch.

Oh, they're called a scotch? Yeah, it's interesting. I understand the sixth leprechauns is a scotch. Yes, and twelve is...

A scotch. Right, right, yeah. Which is very similar to the drink. Well, that's how they get its name.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, because people were drinking leprechauns. And also there's 12 people from last summer in Ireland. The last summer, the way that the people call folklore is.

Jesus was actually drinking scotch in the last summer. Yeah, because of the 12 leprechauns. And that's the one thing you don't see in the picture is that the leprechauns are under the table. Well, that's the thing, it's right above the table links.

Yeah. You don't see the leprechauns that are parting right below. You know what they should do? They should actually paint a lass upper of what's going on under the table.

I think they should too. I think there's actually a little party going on. I think it's a lass upper. There's a lot of freaks, there's a lot of chains, there's a lot of things going on down there.

Yeah, I did hear about the leprechauns. The leprechauns do like to multiply. Oh, they love it, they're just like rabbits. Yeah, that's what I heard.

You know what I did hear that? Yeah, I did hear that. You know who told me that? Brian Redbent.

Oh, but there you go. Yeah, he actually told me that of leprechaun. No, but leprechauns sucks. I understand have some magical powers besides just being a womb source.

Is that right? The leprechauns sucks. Absolutely. If you can get your hands on one, it replenishes food whenever you put it in there.

Interesting. Now any food, does it turn the replenish that food? Like a very turn into a barrier? Just turn it into a barrier?

Just turn it into a potato. Yeah. That makes sense. If you like potatoes?

Yeah, how do leprechauns feel about that? I mean, you know, they're greatest honor. Yeah, but it's never happened before. That's why you've never seen this, why they're in this strange species.

But I think I did see, like, isn't there a porn hub category with leprechauns? I mean, we're working on it. We're trying to get the bomb going. So we really appreciate that you know you're putting another, you know me, myself.

I'm just a fan of the leprechauns. I'm just the tour guide at this museum. You know, my mother. Is a leprechaun?

No, she wanted to be. Oh, she wanted to be. Yeah, and so I, and for people who want to be leprechauns, is there a way to kind of make that happen? She looked, she looked, she actually, a short man actually tricked my mother, told her that he was leprechaun.

Wasn't actually leprechaun just a short man with no powers at all. No powers. Me? And here you are, and given tours at the museum.

Now my mother actually thought that I was going to be a leprechaun. That's actually where my passion came from. Is that I wanted to be a leprechaun because my mother did as well, but I actually am not because I'm just alive that my father told. And then when you started to grow as a child, was it really, was she like not happy about it?

No, it was really interesting. It was weird how sometimes you sound like Dudley Moore. No, it was really interesting. No, it was really interesting.

It was weird how sometimes you sound like Dudley Moore. No, it was really interesting. You could have been told that leprechaun is the three foot right. If you're four eleven, you're playing center on the leprechaun basketball team.

I mean, that is true. You're not, you're not, you're not, we should like a job here. I would. I would.

I really, I enjoyed the way you told stories. My favorite room in the leprechaun museum. I told you about eyes, I told you about the lounge room, but I didn't show you that. Go ahead.

Yeah, but is that where you jumped out from behind? Oh, absolutely. Yeah, I like that. My favorite room was the room with oversized furniture to make everybody feel like they were as small as a leprechaun.

Oh, it's not a fun feeling. Yeah. Ah, so I have one. One could wish.

Yeah. That's basically the whole museum. I thought maybe they're. Like, did you remember the steps to all the legends to the kitchen sink?

Yeah, that was nice. I do. I have one more question though. The word museum implies facts.

Oh, of course. Yeah. Not a whole lot of like facts in this museum. You know, facts are in Ireland are also myths, hails, legends.

You sound like Harvey Weinstein's lawyer. I mean, I've also done that on the side now. I'll have you. I imagine that being an Irish accent.

Oh, like exactly is fact, you know? That is that's kind of like what I propose the court law is really a fact or is a myth or is it a legend or is it tale? And I would say coming from the leprechaun museum, you actually are an expert at that. I really am.

You know, I've been guided a long time. They'll be able to be the liaison for people to this museum and also the liaison in court. I have one final question for you. Yeah, I do have to be getting back to my tours.