Hey everybody, it's Jason Ellis, the West Coast Cowboy and the West Coast Cowboy Tour. In Canada, Tidda de Le Dio everybody! Barry, October 16th, if you're in Barry and you don't get tickets... Well, what about if you're in London and you can't get to Barry?
Well, I'm coming to London October 17th and then I'm in Hamilton, Tidda de Dio, the 18th, the Jason Ellis.com for tickets. Make sure everybody goes, I'm doing meet and greets, I'm selling skateboards, t-shirts, what are you doing, it's gonna be fun, take a photo, talk to me. Oh man, why don't you bring Road Dog back, I don't know, whatever you want to talk about, I'll be there. Get tickets Canada!
Hell yeah, that was a electric. I just... Wow! That'll be your hair!
The King of the Land! Welcome to the show, Karen Freehand. I thought you weren't gay anymore, look at that fucking cat, I hate it. How dare you?
I'm sorry. He's a magical bean. I know, I guess of all the cats, I mean I like it, I like it because it doesn't have hair, I'm usually allergic to cats. Or legs or any type of discerning physical features.
Dougie's father. Yeah, he's into me. Look at his legs, his legs look like wrinkled penises. Yeah, I like you.
Remember being his going to sleep on your lap. So you're from New York, which I just came from. Yeah. And do you smoke cigarettes?
I don't. Deep vape. I don't. Wow!
I hate vaping. Everybody there smokes and vapes and cigars and smokes weed and eats poopy out of the gutter. They do eat them, fecal matter out of gutter, so that's true. Most of my friends, I catch them all the time.
You go to the gutter, you go to the gutter, you go to the gutter, you go to the gutter. I'm just a podcast. It's serious. Why did your breasts go sick?
I mean, I just finished a turn in the gutter. I mean, gutter people get you every time. I just said it. No, I really hate.
I don't mind a we vape as much as I hate a fruity, for mango vape. It stinks so much. I take cigarette smell over a vape smell. Yeah.
But I don't like either. I don't drink anymore. I use just smoke cigarettes when I drank. I see you and I hear you.
I just think you're from the depths of hell. Sorry. That is also very similar to his father. We have a lot of comment.
I see you. I hear you. Your body makes no sense. Rebel bean.
That's OK. Oh, now Rummy's going to deal with it. It's OK. Rummy.
Don't worry about it. Usually. Just tolerate it. He's not usually that close to rubble.
He likes kind of. This is what I need. You know, I haven't been de-peding a while. I need to mail energy right on my lap.
This is what I wanted. I miss my dog so much. You got a normal size dog, right? I got an 80 pound German Shepherd lab mix named Mabel.
She's a big bitch. You have a gun? No, but I was thinking about it. I've got a sponsor that they have guns that they don't shoot real bullets.
OK. So it's legal to carry. OK. And I highly recommend all women.
Yeah. Have it in their bag or their purse or whatever. It's legal. Right.
I got the one because they've got many different ones. It's burner.com slash Ls when you get a discount. But I the there's one that's black and it's a handgun. And if you pull it out, it looks like a real gun.
OK. So like I think if someone's like, hey, lady, you're like, hey, leave me alone. They're like, maybe not. And you go, or I'll shoot you in the face dickhead.
Yeah. They'll be like, whoa. Yeah. But if it was comes to worse and they actually go, they don't care.
You can shoot them in the face. OK. And the pellets will explode on impact. OK.
And they have like a tear gassy stuff. Oh. So they're like kind of blind. It'll stop them.
You get a chance to get out of there. Get away. Yeah. And up close, if you shoot them, it's bad.
They're bad. They're not coming. No, they're going to be like, debilitated. I if I'm ever like in a like a night alone, because you are.
But I don't take the train really. I'm rich. So I don't have to drive. No, because driving in New York is stupid.
No, it's stupid here, too. No, it's not. If I live here, I would drive. Yeah.
Why? Because it's great. It's such a weird thing when people go California and go California. I'm like, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. You know what? Air one.
Everyone's like, oh, would a douchey supermarket. It's the greatest supermarket in the world. I want to have my birthday. It's coming up.
I want to have a birthday at air one. I love being there so much. I love being overpriced. Yeah.
Yeah. But that's you. It's like, you know, if you go to, uh, you know, like a concert or movie theater or whatever, like if you go somewhere where it's more expensive, guess what? Outside, it's better.
It's kind of how that works. Yeah, you pay for what you got. You're not saying it's fair. I'm just saying, you know.
You want to pay more. I went to the farmers market the other day, and I did purchase a sourdough loaf that has changed me forever. It's so good. I keep eating and I bought some nut butter.
I had a lovely time. I like just your farmers markets in New York are just produce. And so it's like, you guys had a skin like care. Yeah.
I'm like, but influencers were lined up to like take pictures out. And that was kind of gay. Like, I'm just trying to get like tomatoes, you know? Look, I'm not saying we haven't gone too far.
Yeah. I'm just saying the option is the highest level. Sure. You can get whatever you want.
You can snowball. You can surf. You can be in the sun. You know, like it's just fun.
It's just great. Sure. Is there a lot of homeless people? Yeah, but it's everywhere.
And like, but you're junk. You're almost people are boring. New York junkies are fun. They're multitasking.
They're recycling and they're like making tap shoes or juggling. Wait, they make tap shoes? I've seen it. They make a tap shoe.
They take like the bottle power, like those tabs from like soda cans and put them on their shoes. That is pretty cool. Yeah. Okay, that's pretty cool.
You're almost all sleeping all the time. They're never awake. That's not true. I don't know.
I haven't seen a lot of awake homeless people. Also, homeless people are a little bit fake. Because when you get real crazy, like sometimes people like to take poopy on the sidewalk. Yeah.
They'll never take a poopy on the sidewalk in front of me. I bet not. Yeah. Like there's one at CVS and he's like, he says inappropriate things to people going in.
And when I go in, he is all of a sudden completely sober. He's probably afraid of you. You shouldn't be afraid of you. Really crazy.
No, you shouldn't even have a sense of reality at all. Zach, can you let me just boy out? Oh, good. Let's.
No, sorry. I you're the first guest that I've had on this podcast ever. Congratulations. And you're the last.
Because if I have to deal with people- Why? I'm just saying- Rebel, get out. Yes, let's say out. Let Christ back in.
Beat out. No, no. Just get him. Romeo's out too.
Everybody out. He's done. Romeo out. Oh, wow.
Get out. Will you keep it Romeo out out out? Because he'll piss in the bedroom. He will.
Not my Romeo. Yes, you're Romeo. You're Romeo. Jesus.
Oh, man. Thanks, there, Oids. No, should I? I'm Jack.
And I know you got to do- Well, that is impressive. Not bad, right? You faked him. No, this is really what I'm out of.
You paused just for a second before you answered that. I don't take time. I'm the son. I believe in increasing your solar catalyst so that you don't get skin cancer.
What is that? What did you just say? Are you a witch? Maybe.
Maybe I'm a son witch. I like- I love the son. I think it's there to heal us and help us. I agree.
Yeah. I think some people here though are afraid of the son. Don't do it here, okay? Stop doing that.
This is because shit where they do the here thing is really annoying to me. I'm ready to fight. I've had it. I've had it with me.
Is that traveling comedian? Also, I travel to a comedy. Everybody goes, oh, you're in California. I'm like, I'm here in your town.
Hey, to break it to you. It sucks. My town. Very good.
You suck. Why are you yelling at me? Because I'm very angry. I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of everybody's shitting on where I come from. You don't think New York is better for comedy than Los Angeles. I think New York is better for comedy if you're Shane Gillis. I think if you're Jason Ellis, you get to do the upstairs at the sand.
And that's it. That's a good work out. And it's shot off the sand. Great place to be new to your area.
Yeah, I'm sure you killed the sand. Every other time I've been upstairs at the sand, I would not say, I would not use the word kill. No, the acoustics. I would go, wow.
Maybe I should not. Maybe I should go back to skateboarding. You're good up there. You could do like a trick right off that stage.
The last time I was there, I was like, you know what? Maybe this comedy thing is going to work out. That was one out of seven. That's not a good ratio.
I believe it's seven. Did you just fuck everything? Zach, are you fucking the cameras? This is the bit we're kind of laughing at me.
And you don't have video proof that she found me in music. You got the other one? Okay, good. We got it in the wide.
We got it in the wide, bro. I did say who she was. You made a little more. What'd you do?
She's comedian. She's got only fans. That's good. I got a special on the web TV.
And she's got a special on the web TV. Wait, it's that 10 minute thing, right? No, I have my actual special. Mine's like flank 40.
Yeah. Why don't I have that? Get it, buddy. Wait, is it out?
I'll put in a good word. It's out. It's been out for a while. Why didn't I get that?
You'll get it. No, I mean before I interviewed. It sounded before me. I would have watched it.
Oh. To tell you that you mean you're greater. Sorry, I saw that. I've been funny.
It was like this is all. I found it to be very bad. Very poorly written. Show me your tits and stuff.
I'm telling jokes. It'd be easier. I wish I could just be a straight up porn star sometimes. I don't.
I tried that. You don't? It's overrated. It is.
It's still hard. That's the only thing that I go. Shut it a thing. Yeah.
Like every day I think people that hate me like, you took Jews and I'm like, I have no comeback. I did. You have no comeback. It's on video.
I'm okay with that. No, I'm like, I've cured myself with that. Right. I mean, I like having sex, but not like I did.
It's a different thing completely. I feel like a lot of male comedians get into comedy so that they can have sex with multiple women at different stage. Oh, I think. All of that.
Yeah, I was going to say, I feel like all men want to do something that gets them to have sex with multiple women. Right. I think it's like society raises you in this way where, because like the gay thing, like if you watch two guys kissing, it's super offensive. But if two girls kiss, it's kind of hard.
It's kind of hard. Right. And I'm like, you realize that's same sex stuff. Absolutely.
What's the difference? You know, or I'll watch porn with a guy burning a girl. And I'm like, that's a dude's penis. You're watching it.
Right. Yeah, but bro, it's you mean, he's doing the same with like the dominating thing where it's like, you know, you're slapping her and they're like, oh God, please that. You know, like all the, it's this weird dynamic where you're always a judge and you're running it. I'm like, you're not very good at it because of that.
Like, because I've done so much of this stuff with straight gay lesbians, everybody, I've noticed that like boxing, I teach people how to box. Dudes think they know what they're doing already. Yeah. Women are like, oh, like this and I go, yeah.
Right. Guys are like, I'm dude, bro, I pretty sure I already know what I'm doing. Girls are more coachable. They just listen.
Right. And they don't have this full pretense of, I already know what I'm doing. Trust me, bro, I've had a few fights before. Right.
I'm like, you, I hate to break it to you, man. But you don't know how to fight. Usually I have to punch them to get them to understand that what they know is not good. They're like, no, dude, I usually, this is how I stay.
Yeah. Watch his Floyd Mayweather. Yeah. And he's got a Philly thing that he does.
Because he's really, really good. Right. And every other dude that does this, I'm like, your face is unprotected when you do that. It's like, yeah, yeah, but I'll bring my hand up.
And I'm like, OK, let's fight. And then I punch him in the face. And I go, what happened? And they go, well, that was quicker than I thought.
I was like, hmm, let's try putting our hands near our face to protect the punch before it gets there. That's the suggestion. How Philly comics are you putting one hand behind their back to be like, Jane? Everybody's already doing the same thing.
This is the Shane. This is the double hand marketing. Oh, that too. Yeah.
So like, do you want to be the second him? Be you, you dickhead. I know. I got a trans joke.
Oh, kill yourself. You know the other one? Waymo jokes. Shut up.
I got a waymo joke. Get an electric car to ride a better joke. You rate hot. I hate white people.
It is so lame. I love them. You have sex with the black guys? I have, sure.
I've seen a racist. No, no. I don't know. He's grown up in the East Coast.
It's tempting. I had to be racist. It is my fall back. But no, I had a black boyfriend for like almost two years.
Nice. Was he full black? Full black. Nice.
Why'd you break out? Who's this? He's, you know the Lucas brothers? No.
They're black twins. They're academy award nominees. Actor. They started to stand up comedians and then moved over to writing.
They still, I think, do stand up once in a while, but they're more in the right movies now. What was it called? Judas something? I'm so bad for not knowing the movie they got nominated for.
I guess. Judas something. Yes. Wait a go.
Um, you're an actor. Yeah. I got them. I'm in tires.
You always been an actor or did you just get pulled into tires and you're like, now I'm an actor. It's funny. I went to college for acting. I got a BA in theater performance.
What's that? I didn't go to school. What's a BA? A bachelor's degree.
Ooh. Bachelor of Arts. Wow. Not a bachelor of fine arts now.
That's a BFA. If you're not a comedian, what would that education get you? Nothing. Nice.
Absolutely. Just checking. Things like that's like the case for most of us. Yeah.
I mean, I'm minored in French. You can speak French. You can speak French. You probably don't say Colombian.
Ooh. My girlfriend gets a big French. Let's go. There's a joke there that I no longer have any interest in saying.
Wow. He is so reformed. He is so well. So healed.
It's beautiful. It really is. It's beautiful to behold. I'm happy.
Sometimes I'm happy for absolutely no reason. Yeah. And I'm like, wow. Right.
I did not know that that was possible. Isn't it beautiful? Are you recovered? Yeah.
I haven't had alcohol in almost eight years. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's my special.
Don't serve me. I don't have a tattoo. It says don't serve me. Oh, well, you had to get a re94.
I'm just stopping you. Head to your head reaches. You're like, oh, yeah. Is that why you did it?
I mean, it's a helpful reminder. Oh my god. Whatever you got to do to stop. I do.
I don't drink anymore. I tattooed on my forehead if that's going to take it. Yeah. I can't.
I just cannot do it. But the worst thing for me, as a recovered alcoholic drug addict, sex is by far the worst thing to me. And when I was in the ride in the game, I thought that that was the last thing that was really a problem. Yeah.
It was the last one to go to because I got after training, after drugs. And I was like, I still spoke weird. Right. You should probably quit that too.
Yeah. And I was like, sex. No, we don't have to be a sex. That's natural.
I stopped and immediately wanted to drugs again. Wow. That's fascinating. Like two days.
Yeah. In two days, I was like, you know what? I would smoke heroin. Wow.
And I'm like, dude, you need to go to SLA. Fascinating. Because I'm assuming it wasn't just sex with a monogamous partner. It's love too, right?
I don't know. I'm asking. Like, because I don't have a problem. I've never had a problem with being monogamous.
Oh, OK. I think women and men are different in that regard. I think I disagree. I think we have been raised by society to think that we need to bone more people.
I think we're I think more men are because of our. You don't think it's biology? So, no, because out of everybody I ever hung out with that was in the porn in the, I had the most thirst I've never been anybody that was like, do you do you want to stop? I'm always I could come on like five more people.
They're like, really after that. And I'm like, no, same as like people like if I work out, it's like, you know, I train with like really good fighters. And they're like, you're not as good as me, but your heart's in it. Right.
I can't stop. I will go until I die. Wow. That's the same as sex.
Yeah. I would go until like there's nothing left to me. Wow. I can't stop.
That's a real addiction. It really was the it's not having a family over here. So there's a love thing. It's like having someone around or I'm by myself.
Because of my childhood and people doing things to me sexually, love is sex. So like, if you like me, well, then I should probably have sex with you. Right. And if you're like, if you're being nice to me, that means you want to have sex.
Yeah. Very like, I couldn't understand anybody that was just a friend. A platonic friend. Yeah.
I'm like, wait, you don't want me to have sex with you. Right. I don't understand why you wouldn't want to. Like, here's the dick.
Yeah. And they're like, it'll taste it. I'm like, wow, I'm very confused. I thought I was helping everybody.
You fully equated sex with love every time. Yeah. So it changed. That's interesting.
Every, the way I operate around everything, it made me realize how important that was in my life. I just know so many men that I've dated that like, and I've been like fully monogamous, I'm especially since I've been sober, right? Because like, that element of like where your judgment goes out the window, like it doesn't happen anymore when you don't drink. Right.
Oh, yeah. Like, you're like, ah, what the hell is this doing? Let's just do it. Like you fuck it's in your money and you're like, let's just do it.
Let's just not. I think it's truly vile. Yeah. And I try to like come from a place of empathy, like thinking that the male biology is different than the female biology that they have.
These urges that they can't control and these things in their head where they can completely put aside, you know, like breaking somebody's heart, like this is, this respecting them, like, and they can just put it to the side and just like do what they want to do in that moment. I would do it. And as soon as I came, the guilt would come. Like before I'm even off the person.
Yeah. I'm like, what have I done? Wow. But then you still do it again.
Well, no, because of the guilt of doing it, I need to run from that. Okay. That's what I do. I run.
Yep. I don't want to face my problems. Right. So if I've cheated or I'm a bad person, if I start having sex again, I can forget about.
You can numb yourself. So I just vicious cycle, just keep hurting other people, keep feeling guilty about it. Right. And just keep smoking and having sex.
Have you ever been on antidepressants or any of those? Yeah. Have you? Are you still?
Nah. But I've all that stuff. I'm not on anything. I've never been on antidepressants or birth control or any real country.
I'm real country. I'm real country. I'm real country. Oh, yeah?
Yeah. I've never done that. Yeah. Look, I've, I think it helps.
I think all kinds of things like working out like does a ice bath help a little bit. Yeah. A little bit stretching, you know, stretching, you know, eating diet is like way more important than all of it. I try to tell everybody that the happy chemicals are made in your gut.
And they look at me like I'm crazy. They're like, no, I'm going to keep eating pizza and taking my antidepressants. Because people want a shortcut. They all want a shortcut.
They want to press a button and everything's OK. They want to take those epic. I'm like, build muscles. Your mouth, your fat will melt off your body.
It's a weird thing to it's like it's not even in. It's not even a bond to build muscles. Yeah. Like when people like I think they see it is so daunting.
They see somebody who's like already has muscles and like they're like, it's too far away. It's too hard to achieve. That's why I love skateboarding. Yeah.
You know, you know, you know, you know, as a kid when you skate, not street skating a little bit too, but more because like when you do it wrong, you get hurt. So there's an element of fear constantly haunting you. So like you've got to put in the work and when you try it first, you're definitely bad at it. Yeah.
And when you're bad at it, you're definitely going to get hurt. Right. So you're kind of facing this haunting feeling of pain coming your way. Why do you keep persisting to do it?
And then when you get better, you're like, whoa. I'm a super human. Yeah. And then that brings this confidence.
The only downfall to that is the high of making things that you've defeated the fear and all the effort is there's this rush that is very similar to drugs. Yeah. The adrenaline. So when you get older, that's the thing a lot of people hit me up there because I'm old and I still skate.
Yeah. And they're like, bro, how do you do it? Like, how do you do it with the pain? And I'm like, what?
You know, the pain like my neck is killing me. I haven't skated for 20 years. And I'm like, OK, I don't know how to say it nicely. But like you're a bitch.
Right. Like, am I in pain? Yeah. Yeah.
But is it like, what do you take, create them or what do you take to take the pain away? And I'm like, nothing. Nothing. I get up and I go.
It's like sometimes I want to get up and I go, oh, I'm really hurt today. And then I stretch it out and I move around and I suck it up. Well, that's like the medical industry. If you ever like hurt your, they love a CAT scan.
They love diagnosed like, oh, give a slip disc. Can't wait to get you under the knife. Cut you open, put you on oxy. Yeah.
And then you're in our system forever. Yeah. Like fuck out of here, dude. Like, I know I can walk this off.
And they don't know. No. I had my knees are, I've had like a partial knee replacement. I've told all my ligaments and all my knees in recently.
Suck a dick. No. No. All right.
Can I cat back? He's mad. You can fucking happy you are mad. Bring his emotional security cat.
I don't need, listen, motherfucker. Listen, doctor, you're fucking bitch. I'm sorry. Go ahead.
Go ahead. I'm better than you. I know. I know.
Okay. If somebody's dick will have showed up right now. Oh, really? We have some stuff?
For money. I wouldn't do it because it's not, I don't need to be a part of that. But if it was like to save someone's life, I would, they'd be alive and they'd be dead if you did it. Okay.
I'm better than you. Okay. You win. I submit.
I tap. Man, this is not working. Go on about yours. So you had surgery on your knees.
I'm assuming you're here. So get an MRI because I know that I've told my meniscus because I've told it a bunch of times. Yeah. You got to get an x-ray for no reason.
That allows you to get the MRI with your insurance, even though they still charge you a little bit. Then I get the MRI and then they call me back two weeks later. You've told your meniscus. I'm like, yeah, I know.
I can do that. They don't like when you say that. They're like, you don't know. And I'm like, well, if you've told it over seven times, yeah, you do.
Like, what have you done, doctor? Right. And then he goes, well, there's no cure at your age. We could clean it up and it's just going to make it worse.
And I go, what about stem cells? And I'm like, skateboarding. You know why I was skateboarding? Because I got stem cells that fixed my knee so well that I could skateboarding it.
Right. So it does work. I'm a living proof. He would not.
He would not. He would not. Because that doesn't make him money. Because we can give you some stuff they get from chickens.
No. I forgot the name of it. But there's like an injection where it helps with arthritis or whatever. Like lubricated or something.
And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe down the road. But like the pain threshold. That's why I'm, I had a joke about David Goggins.
I'm still working on it because the guy's like, I'm 54 next week. I skated the other day by myself. And I was like, at Tony's, this is a big ramp. Like you do things wrong there.
You get hurt. And I want to do a trick that I'd done before. It used to be very easy. But now it's very hard because I'm old.
And also I was like, if you do this wrong, I'm going to get knocked out. It's Saturday. No one's going to be here till Monday. Like you could die.
They just come and see your buddy on Monday. Be like, I'm ready. Don't do what he loves. You know what I mean?
Saturday. I'm like, I really don't need that if I lost. Yeah. And I was like, what are you doing?
Like, why are you doing this? Yeah. I think you've got to the point where you're an idiot. And anybody can get myself.
Right. And I'm an adult. I've made this choice. Yeah.