Hey this is Red Man and you're listening to Kill Tony here at this one. Me and Tony are bringing Desquot on the road again with Tiffany Haddish, the cat pack. We're coming to Columbus, Ohio. October 16th we're going to have a Kill Tony show followed by a comedy show.
Two shows both at the Funny Bone Columbus again that's Thursday, October 16th. Also Desquot is now at the comedy store. We're trying to do a bi-weekly show for twice a month. At the comedy store we had our first one with Doug Sandhope.
It was amazing. Our next one is Wednesday, October 1st. And it's going to be a bunch of comedians. You're not going to know who's going to be on.
There's been surprises. It's going to be great. So if you're in Hollywood and you want to check it out, I'm going to talk to her first at the comedy store. And then me and Tony are co-cadlining Phoenix Arizona, October 23rd.
We're going to be a stand-up live. So go check that out. All right guys, here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey this is Red Man coming live from the road to the middle of comedy store.
For a brand new episode of Kill Tony, grab a dollar. Good boy! Fuck yeah, there's a fun energy in here and I'm loving that. This is exciting.
Hi, happy Monday everybody. Another fun episode. This is episode, what is it? 63, 63, I can already tell.
We're going to kick somebody out within the first seven minutes. Okay, here we are everybody. You guys excited or what? We have a new sponsor this week.
Don Carlos Caritos in La Jolla, California. Our friend Ryan is, that's his restaurant and we are very, very happy to announce our new sponsorship with Don Carlos Barritos. That's right. Go down there and say you're up with Death Squad.
Guess what happens. Just imagine what happens when you say you're with Death Squad. And when you say those magic words, you get some kind of discount on other delicious burritos. A lot of them ain't ever comedians.
Yep. And if you say, like, you know, you want to Death Squad to re-home, maybe one thing. If it's closed and you're behind the place and you guys are going to be pony, it might be something else. It's true.
You guys are the Death Squad. It's going to be party queue slots and onion rings in the burrito. Maybe it's a cool song. So that's in the golden pony.
The golden pony is a cool slot, lettuce and spinach and that's it. So it's very exciting. I'm kidding. I would never be there.
But welcome all these amazing. I could just walk them all the way around. Who's with me on that? Are we not all agree on?
I'm walking all the way except for the second row obviously. A very anti-walkable rep rope. They're staring at me like we're in the wrong show. We are not into the guac.
But so, yeah, Don Carlos Barritos, big fat delicious hot burrito and a hoy on Pearl Street. Don Carlos, where the burritos, come to you. I just made that slogan up in the moment, guys. And I don't think it's a good one for a burrito.
It's why the burrito come to you. And in San Jose, we did Kill Tony like a Comic Con in San Diego. I was once since we spent here last. It was a blast.
We did it again. So much fun to take the show on the road and we'll be making more announcements very soon about Kill Tony on the road. And because we have so much fun doing it. So many fun loyal listeners.
A lot of them came up in the after my show they did in San Jose. It's getting out of control. So it's really fun. I think we all got sick.
I think the cat had a little cat sniffles. Somebody had a cold at Comic Con. This one's a sticky hat. And Tiffany didn't tell us about this cold that she had.
And we all got the sniffles. And low blood counts. I heard also. Who had that?
Oh, that was just good. That's one of our popular patriots. He's also the accident prone producer of the show. Our friend and awesome, awesome, young, rising comic.
It's Josh Martin everybody. He's iron. He's a fool-blowing speech impediment. That's why we call him the puff of patriot.
No. That's his lover. He's on the other with a speaker box. It's true.
This is just like your days of being a manager and a gauntlets. These are getting feedback from something tonight. You have a set to a quarter to a later where Mike making some noise with it. At least.
Anyway, Josh has a gold bed. I'm doing all right. The gold goods, transaid, positive. That's Mike is too much in my nose.
Well, like you turn something down. Yeah, turn your dick down a little bit. We have the microphone hatch always on the crotch of the patriot and one of the weird traditions. It's stuck around for some reason.
Of all the things that we took from the original Iron Patriot, we really stuck with the speaker box coming out of the crotch. And I'm happy about that. Every patriot for some reason has always had the microphone at mid-level. So what else does that in Josh you're going to see?
Diego with us? Jeff, on? Yeah, I do a spot on the side. Are you wearing your glasses underneath the matra?
I can't see it. Wow. Can you look at the mass and show the audience with the feeling of the man behind the mass? Look at the hair and everybody.
How cute is it? Let's see your little apples in your face. What's funny is that the pajama, you have a pajamas of an 11 year old in the face of a 9 year old. You actually go backwards.
Most of the people look too old to be in that costume. Where's Josh is like, it looks like a standing on a mid-open meeting right now. I see the eyes. I see the eyes.
Wait, you're playing it? Yeah. I'm excited to have you back, Josh. Can I look like a cable soup boy?
I don't remember. The cable soup boy. Is that okay? Is that a cable soup kid?
No, not really. Yeah. Have you been called a cable soup boy? I have not but I assume he bought a big idea.
I mean, like, oh, wow. I think you're the first person to really spend a moment picturing with a Campbell's boy fox like, huh? The Campbell's boy is probably an old man like now. Oh, or a woman?
Whoa, twist. Twist in the soup, everybody. Okay. Josh, you're excited.
How many times have you been the patriot? You want a few return pages? Oh, wow. Really?
I like how your voice cracked when you said three out of the four. Three out of the four. I was just trying not to say the word tree. You were just not trying to say the word tree.
What does that mean? And you white your nose when you said it's not. It's not. He's on fire, everybody.
Not really. Not really doing much but we're happy to have you. I love it. Are you guys ready to meet our guests tonight?
I'm so excited about this one guys. So much fun. Following that heat of Garland and Sinbad, I said, how can you follow? How many parts of the 62 years of comedy experience?
I'm sitting at a Garland line sweet on the show. And I said, let's go for the fucking, what's the coolest chick going on right now? And two of my funniest pals who, you know, we do stand up together for years now. Every night pretty much, every two grinders work with everywhere all the time.
I'm so happy that they're here. They're currently two of the stars of the NBC's hit show, on table, playing as a good night. You're in a great class, man, everybody. You're in a great class, man.
You're in a great class, man. How do I get this week? How do I get this week? How do I get this week?
Welcome to the show, guys. I want to just real quick say, I know something about you in the answer. You didn't want to say three because when he says three, it sounds like three, I think you were saying. All right.
Now, when you want to say three, you want to say three, you want to say three, you want to say three, I want to say three. You want to say three, right? You want to say three, right? There's a random tree thing, right?
You can actually think. No, I just, you said a problem saying my order's going to go up. Yeah, I know, but you know. So what are you saying is a chute, man?
No, I'm saying it's three. You say two shag? Yeah, I think you have to say three. Welcome to the show, guys.
It's so fun to have you here. Thank you. It's great to be a blast. Are you guys just in Montreal this weekend?
Am I right about that? Yeah. I think I'm with the French. You have a fun and Canada.
We love it up there. I'm just going to play some of the things I have event. Really? It's a blast.
I think it's so fun. You got to do a show with a whole cast. We're going to sneeze. No, he's just soaking in the, you know, it's like, oh, yeah, I just breathe in.
Okay. I didn't really think of the thing. It was. It was.
It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, you have a weight apnea. It's like, it's like, it's called apnea. Maybe. Is there any parties that you got to go do that?
Like crazy. It's like, it was just not stopping. There we go, it's everywhere. Everybody pictures that being like a never ending night sort of.
Yeah, it is. Never ended for you. Never ended for me. Everyone wants to buy drinks and you want to take it because it's like, I also want to give you something.
I'll take that. If you festivals, I always end up being karaoke at some point. I think I would have a pro karaoke crew at a, I just get lost in the French. I ended up singing no scraps with vibrant hours of the selfie of each comedy festival a few months ago.
You know, four in the morning because the bars don't close or something like that. Wow. I would love to see tape. It was amazing.
There was a lot of people there. There was this awesome group of black women. Maybe like 12 of them. It sort of stood out because they were just sitting on the couch as well.
And you could tell that it was a lot of just like, you know, white people singing, you know, did you hear all this bullshit? Me and Byron both noticed these girls. Let's break it down and dedicate it to them. Next thing you know, it was a blast.
The video would totally make me and Byron new karaoke stars. It was the end of it. I'm mashing with a club black girls. I'm over in the couch.
I know. Nobody even applied up once they started. I felt like they got up and made things happen. We took the energy from the back and everybody else is like, holy shit, they're starting a holy party.
My approach is up the white for about 30, 40% over in none see eight of the things while Byron's taking the lose because we kind of paused like some terrible shit happened. There's a sign of us for two minutes and all I can hear is Josh reading. I was about to be living around everywhere in time. He's saying he looks like he's living for a place of his hands.
But there's only the put on his face with his hand. Like where you put your mouth. What? That was an essential thing.
Well, what does it mean? Well, I can't do it somewhere. But since nobody's doing it, it's like now we're going to have my face. Oh, he's sitting on the face.
He's sitting on the face. He's in the mouth. I like you, Josh. I love him.
I hope that suits his part. I love him. But it's like it's also like super human shit that he really does have. Have you drinking over there?
Water, dakery? Water, dakery. Water, dakery. I just want to have a little bit of a little bit of a little bit.
Hydrated. Water, just a little bit of a little bit of a little bit. Yeah, totally. I like you, Josh.
Water, dankster. I do. Water, dankster, Josh, Mark, everybody. Let's get this thing started, shall we?
Yeah, yeah. Just tell Tony. You guys sign up for the chance to do one minute of stage time and then be on a live podcast and talk to us. Yes, and me and Brian.
Guys, you know that 60 seconds of stage time is up when you hear the sound of a kitty. Come on, really? That means you got to wrap it up. You're going to bring out the angry West Hollywood there.
Is that the bear? No, it's not the bear. Is that a crow? That's a problem, Jeremy.
That was the way there. You podcast listeners, I apologize. They almost hear their headphones hitting the treadmill. So let's get started, are you ready for this?
It's kill Tony number 63 with more and Rick Lassman. The stars of the naval. We'll talk about that as we go on. We'll talk about that.
You first can be into night. He's having fire every day. We want to build a big thing on the end. Order, come on.
We want to build a big thing on the end. Order, come on, take the way we stand up now. We only have it nice. How's it going?
My name is Kevin. Kevin's an Irish name for why is this person going himself? Kevin? Middle Eastern.
I feel like Middle Eastern guys were creepy enough as is. I understand why we have all this ex-body hair. It's too much. Look at me.
Too much. I'm still hearing my dick ass back here. What's the biological purpose of my chest hair falling out of the top of my shirt? It's not for warmth.
I'm from the desert. It's the kidney warm. My kidney hair was for warmth. That's what it's like for these.
How about this? Shave my back. Give it to an estimate. There you go.
Kevin Clark, bring it up. It's the protectant of the sun. Is that for the warmth? Is it?
There we go. Is that true? I don't know that. That's what I'm hearing.
Because it's not just a deuce. I'm not actually sure. That's the reason I first love. I like being excited to that exercise.
That's another hairy guy. I completely love your sick. I felt like that back hair, joke was awesome. Have you heard that before?
That's the only thing I've ever seen. I don't know if you heard that. I don't know if you heard that before. I don't know if you heard that before.
It might be just because it's so good. I've just, I've never heard it. I've heard it. That's a hilarious joke.
I actually had that a long time ago. I didn't enjoy it. Nice. I love that joke.
I want to know the actual thing. I know the actual thing. I know the actual thing. I know taller is you do it to take some more.
You take it in the sun and shorter. If you're shorter and you're around cold, you take it better because it's not as much of warmth. That's what I think is warm and black guys are tall because it's a lot of big dicks. It's warm and climates.
If you're not dark, you need to dark shit for this. You've got hair. It's a great time talk. You've got dark shit.
You've got dark shit. You've got dark shit. That's how Bill Gates. Every time you wipe your ass, how much hair is on the toilet paper.
You've got to get a little trimming. I mean, I've got some trimming. How do you trim that? You've got, you know, like, your trimmers?
You take a risk. I don't know like, your trimmers. I'm on the opposite spectrum of airiness. You've got one of those $12 beer trimmers at like right eight.
They work perfectly for your balls and your asshole. It's real. It's just a beer you have to get over. I just started like, you're like, you're like, you're just having a little bit of a little bit here.
He's just quite easy to $12 one. I'm not going to spring for the expensive one. What's the best part of 25? No, no, no, no, no.
You don't need to go. I found it. Well, no, no, no, no. We just said I love it in the ass.
Yeah, they come out of nowhere. What's the email voice, though? The extra points. Normally it's normally the guy in the back of the room saying that.
So I'm excited. OK, let's get back of this beer trimmer. What's the price that you say you pay for your trimmer that you use for your ass? Well, they're $10, $12.
I can get it right in the next time. That's the point right for a beer and ass trimmer. Now, have you ever gotten, because you probably grew up here quickly. Have you ever gotten a little tip and all of a sudden you need to use your beer trimmer?
No, I don't. Are you just going to say that? Sometimes I just do it. And you can pull the running out the hall on it.
Yeah, you probably don't every time you're really in a hurry at that point trying to get out the door. It's not the rush. Maybe I'm just putting a couple on your pube trimmer that you're in your face with. You're like, you're going to wash your hands at home and you're taking a piece.
I'm sure the people that do it. That makes sense. But I don't go above. Right.
Now, what you use is beer trimmer that uses something that you use. a beer. And I'm like, you know who I am. So no, you wouldn't go beer with this.
But you'll go, you'll go, you're right here. I go for my pubic air to my own beer. Exactly. But I do like this with it.
What's that? This? No. Come in the way.
Yes. He's just really good at it. We're done. We're done.
We're going to go trash. We try and feel it. We try and feel it. We try and feel that.
Oh, I put down a top. Oh, here we go. I have two towels. Two towels.
No, no, no. I have to pick as the opposite of the way he's describing himself right now. You know what I mean? I have extra towels.
You know, you have a lot of jeans. You have two in the rotation. I have two in the rotation. So I wash it every 30, maybe five days.
So once I'm ready to wash both of them, I'll take this back about two weeks. I'll turn my few three weeks. I'm like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're not as that long. You just want to keep it where I want to keep it.
I don't want to keep it at about 14 days. You never know. No, no, no, no. Hey, if I go on.
He's on an MEC show right now. Once I put the show, you never know. You never know. You never know.
But anyway, I'm over to help. What happens if a girl sees your downstairs after 15 days? What happens if it's tough? People don't control.
It's just I want to keep it high and tight. I just started when I moved to California. I didn't know how to do it. I'm going to keep it here.
I'm going to follow up. I'm going to show. You just bought 14 days. You got to calendar in your back.
I know. I know. I'm going to do my calendar. Everything comes to do it when I do the laundry.
Now I go back to every five watches. So if you're doing your beard, I'll trim around your ass. What's your position? Are you over the sink like that?
I just want to use the ones that are horrible. I'm like, you just want to get it. I'll do it. I'll do it.
I'll do it. I'll do it. I don't do it. It's so like a bathroom.
It's always a big thing. I think when the neighbor comes out and the wind is always a bad thing. I'm going to shake my collar outside. Which I do.
Imagine just doing it out there. I'm going to shake my collar. I'm going to shake my collar. I'm going to shake my collar.
Don't you think I'm going to pull you through your bathroom? I just think you're walking out with a collar. No, I'm just like, I shake my collar. The same way I do when I'm crossing it with a C-3.
I'll try a couple times. I'll just look at my phone and then I'll just do it. I'm scared to do it. I don't have it bad enough.
Just shake it. Like the bare for me. I never heard that dick back. That's a great job.
That's Kevin Fart. He's at Kevin Fart. F-A-R-D on Twitter. It's cool.
I just like, you know, sometimes it's a little. Do any questions? I'm only the patron. That's our guest's question about something I'm going to make you have.
I do have a question. Okay. First, what is it? Yeah.
Thanks. I guess I'll count anymore. No, he's not. Thanks.
I can't go from now. No, I know. I'll count anymore. What are you like?
I was talking about last time. Where do you got to call it? I took him off. I took him off.
Did you get a strap? I have no. No. Where's the ball?
The scout's like no. He's too comedy. He shaded his ass. I love that image of the basketball scout right in the word comedy.
He's got to get in the arts. He's just a really good comedy scout. I love that guy. I am going right at basketball.
Yeah. And my second question is were you guys going to be white? Oh, geez. Oh, geez.
I'll get into the space. That's just going to show you what you want to play in the challenge. Is that one? I don't play in one.
I'll be in the game, but if we do, I'll be shooting over the backboard. If you had Shaq for his Paul and getting Shaq on the way, no, my right. No, Chris Paul would be Shaq. One is way different than the game.
Shaq can't go. You can't even go after your rapping fingers. You do this. You just...
Josh, I can't blame all of this on you. You can't follow the challenge. You don't want any senior lightning on your spell for the name. I thought they were talking about six sides at first.
No, he's a big fan of six. He's a big fan of six. He's a big fan of six. I don't shave my ass.
Everyone has shaved the rest. You never shave your ass. You never shave your ass. I don't have to shave my ass.
I don't have to shave my ass. Right at the hairless ass. We talked about that. We talked about that.
We talked about that. If you look at friends, if you cut friends in half, they're like, what am I going to do? You're looking at sports on his legs. You're not going to go.
You've got a hairless boy-bitch button legs. And a very hairy manly good deal skills challenge. Well, not the best basketball player for us. I'm fucking really good.
You need a fucking play college. I did. That's where you say you need a duper. But you did you?
Yeah. I'm so hairy when I shift when I go ahead. I lashes. Oh my God.
My dad probably got my friends around. Josh, a few weeks ago you admitted live on this show that your penis is helping again. No, I don't remember exactly. Oh, come on.
Wait, part. Take contact with somebody who's insulting. I think it's never small. You make eye contact when you say, I'll be good.
There you go. I'm pretty sure the number was four. I know. That's not.
Oh, you're underestimated. The first guy to ever underestimate the size of his penis. The same two numbers. It's never the biggest one.
You're getting five and a half. What if it was five and a half? You think five and a half, six. It's five if he just turned his view.
Come on, take a look. It's quite a characteristic. Oh, you love Josh. He's very humble about it.
That's true. It's hard to find. You guys ready for your next meeting? Let's see.
You guys ready for your next meeting? Go by the name of Chandler with Nog. You know what that means? You're talking about body.
You took smaller than that. Is he in the room? It's not the bad answer. I think it's not the bad example.
We're going to deal with this for the next 500 episodes. I like the initial. I don't think it should. I don't think it should.
I mean, like, you recognize that you recognize that that person was going to come up. We have people that don't show up like working. Okay. I'm going to talk to you.
Sorry. What's your Twitter handle? Well, that's got to be you. Okay.
Well, he did say it up when he said Chandler. Well, you wrote it next to Nate. First of all. He's saying with no D, not with no D.
He's saying with no D. I was saying with no D. Chandler! I got that.
What the heck? Chandler! Chandler for now, when somebody says your name is going to stage. Ladies and gentlemen, for your hands, we've got a particular Chandler with no D.
This is my first time on stage. I'm really nervous. Because I grew up listening to Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle. And that's a lot of pressure.
That's not the pressure of living up in their great business. It scares me though, is that when those are your biggest influences, it's a pretty good chance you're getting on stage and drop the end word. That is not going well with this complexion. Or this accent.
When you have this other accent, people automatically assume you're racist anyway. For example, true story in my wife is half black. And Chris was one year or second round, he didn't have a good time. I don't know where her uncle would say it means he says, you say, you're a nigga.
I don't know what you do. Can I try to lash it off? I get a load of this guy. I look every when it's top feet and just wait in my answer.
I think you're one of the few comedians at the end word. That was a legitimate concern. I'm not doing it. I'm more excited.
We're smart enough to say it after you said that you had a half black white. You're smart enough to say it after. That's a great improvement. That's a great one of the best first time you said.
What's your actual name? Your name is your putter handle and then come up and read that. What's your name? Chandler Raper.
Oh, okay. Where's an African male song ready? You're going to be a huge star, Chandler. I'm ready for the no-d.
Welcome to show business. Where are you from? Alabama. Wow.
Nice. Now, did you know the show? How many from Alabama? I've been listening to the podcast.
I've always wanted to do. It's something that I've been thinking about for a while. I'm not going to just be looking at the ball. I'll do it.
Yeah. How long have you been here? I live here from 2017, 2010. I went back to Alabama and I've been here now since I've been.
That's awesome. Awesome. Yeah. What did you do?
What are you doing in Alabama? How old are you? What was it? Awesome.
I'm working back. We moved back. We had our daughter there. She's three now.
I was just, we're on the board. We're in that warehouse. It's like, I'm in Disney movie right now. We're on the big end words now.
We're on the big end. It's not Chandler. It's not Chandler. It's driving a forklift.
I'm also in the Chris Rock. One day. That's so fun. What made you start tonight?
Well, I actually came last week and so I think this is a good set up with getting constructed in the feedback. So it's different than any other open market is going up and you know, if you block it or not, it's a real good media. Well, comedians in open market, you actually get feedback here. I like you so much.
I like you so much. You did a great thing. I really thought you had to do it for a while. And I actually was doing something I missed like I once said before you said you were married to a black joker and I was like, oh, you should have been really racing.
I was like, oh, you should have worked the wrong shirt for this. You just went like this for a few days. You think it's racing. You know what I'm talking about?
What's that? What's that? I don't know. I think that's very cool because I have first time like E.
But I still like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I'm not sure.
That's funny because he's serious. You know, like, you're not like, you're not shaking, shaking, shaking, but he's strong like that. There's a confidence that the guys that's been doing this a few years. Yeah, I'm saying.
You never did any other open market or if you ever done a stage where you can play as a band or anything like that. I was in hospital and I came out here in 2007. I did some small, like, student films. The craziest part is how close we came to him not coming.
Let me remind you. I've heard people shit for not having one. I need him in a chance. Of course it's on the ground or with not.
How free that would have been a guy with an English handler with not the game up. I started to show an expert because I was going to get shit for my last name. So I would have really been confused with that. You got an old match.
No, you got a change. I think I'll have a neighbor. I'm completely matches your crazy Alabama. I mean, juice change their last name because it has man at the end.
You know, like last man, that's crazy. I mean, juice change their whole time. I've changed my name because of the right goal. I changed the right game.
It's true. The last thing is right goal. I can't work in a city with right goal. It's true.
It's right right there. We want a lot of action here. I think we're going to change our job. The only one of the best first time performances I've ever seen.
I've seen a lot of those on this show. So please come back again soon, Chandler. And you spot this off and as you can. I mean, having three year olds, I'm sure it's pretty time consuming.
But yeah, we've got... That's why I just said not really. So the three year old thing, time consuming. Perfect.
What do you come in? Where is he now? What's the three year old sign up? What's going on?
Interesting. You guys see three year old like a power couple. Are you guys doing it? I feel good.
It brings me to a question that I always ask my first time guess. Which is you guys. Is there something that you did when you very first started coming to your first time, your first week, your first few months, if there's something you did on stage or something that happened that you just can't believe it, you didn't know how to handle it, or something like that, you just can't believe it you did, regret it or something like that. I keep any heck of me.