Kirby

welcome welcome welcome to armchair expert this is dax i'm joined by padman is that the one you're going with oh i thought you're going to one one name i am i guess right i should go by padman because there's already another monica the singer who goes just by monica oh really yeah so unfortunately i have to go by padman that's cooler it's pretty cool it's solid we're saying that of course because our friend kirby is here kirby is an actor i think maybe kristen first met her on house of lies really i think that's where no i think it was i think the order was house of lies but i could be wrong but then i think then good place then lots of crossover then queen pins ding ding ding a lot of people seen queen pins kirby was also in why women kill the sandman killing eve cruella and currently she is in sugar on apple tv plus and she's our favorite so cool she's the coolest she's the cool she's cool guy all the way all day all night and then sexy boy sexy man sexy man she's also sexy man and then and then best boy and just barely any best boy please enjoy kirby he's in our church he's in our church he's in our church come in yeah i'm in oh good something that smells good like food i was expecting it to not smell good oh sure yeah it's a grody addict yeah well that's what you always say but actually it's lovely in here i feel terrible you know when you have to say that it's really insecure for it but it means something just now when you were letting angela pull her out i was coming in and she waved and then i didn't you know i was like yeah i was talking about the baby whatever and then i looked back and you know you go to wade back but they're not looking anymore now i'm like it's one of those things that you think about that the other person doesn't think about at all most of the time people are not ever thinking about yeah like that like i'm like in my brain thinking where should i park because the baby like that's my thought and so then you don't see a wave yeah so my sister-in-law has this incredible hat which is she works at a retail clothing store or has in the past manages one and she'll be helping someone find a blouse and the person will be on their fourth or fifth option that she brings to them and when they're still on the inside of the changing room they can't see her they'll be saying like i just don't know if i look good in red or whatever and she'll say do you know what color shirt i'm wearing now she's just helped them five times i've been dealing with them for half hour yeah and most times they'll go oh my god i'm so embarrassed i don't i only say that to show no one's really thinking about what i'm doing no they're 100% not yeah that would still be me i'd go oh boy blue i would pick a high percentage yeah i wonder what is the highest percent black probably of people wearing right now in the country the highest percentage is probably black black but you know i know this is a real neutral trend happening right now isn't it like sandy colors i love sand you do yeah i enjoy it when it's done well it's not my default black is my default but you also rock color like crazy yeah i do love color i think this is a gift if you guys mean brown yeah it is a gift yeah you know like i was a bright red suit it's nuts it begs the question well or a little like how much attention do you need yeah how much attention do you need or also like that's a bold choice it feels like you're going for best or worst dress whereas i think if you're like dark skin and you're wearing color it's just this looks good no it does i do love wearing a nice little color pop yeah when you go on time just watch three in a row you on oh yeah and you let it rip yeah the first one was a really outrageous red outfit your girlfriend i had a red suit and that's when i cut my hair and went crazy and dyed it blonde you know what's funny i'm thinking of a different outfit but yes the pink and red outfit that's my favorite one that's my favorite thing i've ever worn that's my favorite look on you i've only known you for a short period i've gotten to see you in like 20 30 years should we shout out the brand yes i was going to say weidhoft is the suit i think they're an incredible brand that's one of my favorite things i've ever ever ever worn i'd love to wear more of their stuff and then my hair was done by erin courtney she's a really incredible braider that makeup was brandy allen where do you find the braider is this in the common stew of hair people on sets no this is certainly not so this braider i saw her because willow smith had really great braids she tagged this braider erin and then that so i found her it's great but then every time i want to delete instagram i'm like that's what it's a resource it really is and for things like that it's so easy to find someone and see their work you do discover people don't we do five on willow what do you mean what's five minutes but maybe even last i don't think that's like a colloquial american i'm kind of newly in a rabbit hole of hers okay yeah and funny enough thinking for you and i we were driving through the mountains of tennessee together and i was playing my favorite songs yeah and only one really hopped out at you that i know of and it was hiatus coyote is that willow smith no okay but you were like what the fuck is this i never heard this i felt flattered and validated that you liked one of my songs oh great and i just listened to her new music willow and it's very hiatus coyote okay so now i need to go back and see because i do this i'm like i love that song and then i don't write it down or add it to a playlist i think i texted it to you i went that far okay well i'm gonna go back hi to coyote i'm gonna say like four times i'll have to eat a second again willow smith i think she's fantastic i think she's so out of this world alien child very cool in that face is really something to study insane because it's will smith i mean she looks so much like will smith but she's so beautiful yeah it's pretty wild you know if you ever ask yourself like i wonder what will smith would look like as a beautiful lady and it's an answer yeah but do you think he would i don't know he would look exactly like that oh no i mean almost i know what you mean that's the funny thing actually because i feel like it's about romeo beckham romeo beckham has victoria beckham's face and even though david beckham is obviously beautiful that's what makes him beautiful so were you already hip to beckham like we watched the doc monica and i and we became obsessed with beckham maybe more than her oh wow okay sorry i just look up willow smith and i implore everyone right now who's listening to look her up currently because i haven't seen her in a minute and you're right she does look a lot like willow smith yeah that's so fucking beautiful so beautiful she is stunning and also i want those teeth she has did you have a jewel on your tooth for a minute was that ever a phase you had no did i no it feels like i would have done oh for sure i feel like maybe you're right i'm inclined to be like no no but i feel like i did it's the same thing with the hairstyle i also love the outward expression of yourself and i'm like a jewel tooth because i spent a very long time trying to find a good grill for a while you know my mom used to have a gold tooth and i thought it was the coolest thing i didn't realize the stigma that came with having a gold tooth one just in general and two as a black woman essentially people think well we were poor i think people look down on you i don't know if it's the same here it's seen in england i feel like it's kind of trashy kind of a little like poor ghetto rich exactly yes yes you put your money in your mouth literally that's what it's seen as but i always just thought my mom was the coolest she had this gold tooth and she had another one and she kind of i think just grew out of it and got rid of it so she was funky as well because you're funky well my mom's crazy funky i just want to show you a picture yeah this is my mom's shirt she gave it to me okay i didn't know this about you i'm going so fast but what's fun about this is you and i've known each other now for a few years and i don't know any of this information i'm about to find out but she own clothing stalls is that accurate she still has a stall which i sometimes work at when i go back to London it's the funniest thing i've actually a couple of times been recognized people will be like are you and i'm like yeah but today i'm just working i'm just my mom's daughter it's in camden so she used to camden well it was the ballroom so the ballroom is like a big club in camden punk kind of grunge you know like those big two level massive clubs and on a sunday during the day it would be a market so everyone would come in and sell and so my mom used to do a stall there and she brought me there so i kind of grew up in the market my best friend lived in the flats opposite so sometimes they would babysit and we'd hang out the flats in camden they're now above the church but people would know like above the sayingsbury there's a block of flats this is deep cut for the brits or londoners i guess not brits in general yeah the people in essex maybe yeah yeah and also people say that a lot of londoners think that england stops at the top of the m5 we all think that too yeah exactly you're like no i feel like english hillbillies and stuff or english white trash i'm like where'd these folks come from i thought everyone was in a top hat and like educated like there's a fair amount of fucking hicks in england it's like here but it's smaller we just have less space for everyone i love that you grew up in a market that's my dream really well model those malls i love malls oh she'd love it she still does markets she goes earlum street and that's in west end and she does brick lane and that's in east london and where does she hold all the clothes that she ends up selling everywhere so sometimes she makes stuff and she gets them from different people like she's something like she customizes lots of stuff is like handmade is that the only job she ever had when you were growing up so when i was really young maybe one to four or something she had a shop in charlton street and then she did these markets on the weekends and then had tons of other jobs she's always had two or three jobs at once she's a single mom as well with two of us this is her passion and as she's gotten older she's found a way and obviously her kids are now financially independent so she doesn't need as much so the main thing is doing the markets do you try to give her money how does that go i do but sometimes now i got her bank account okay that's cleaner yeah it's must be enough she might even be able to bull herself into thinking she just forgot she had a market that's doing really well well you know the funny thing about my mom is that she is incredible and deserves the world but doesn't really think she does it's such a funny thing even just going out for a nice meal my mom's like oh my god this much for food and her thing is she always goes i can make this at home which she couldn't no she never eat prior she doesn't have any ingredients you know what that um clay potty cooking in the indian restaurant oh yeah yeah like we went to dintai she's like i can make this like mom you never heard these prices exactly you don't even speak mandarin before you even started this that's the generation i think it's generational this kind of like i don need anything what's her story how long had your family been in england so my mom okay let me just yeah you handle this yeah you handle it okay the funny thing is she was in one of the people you know it has like people and then albums oh i thought you were saying she was in people magazine no imagine she would die i mean she never really hate that i even spoke about her very private she's just tapping her phone right now is she gonna listen to this if i direct her to the link she might listen to it but if i don't she won't necessarily find it because you're not on youtube if you're on youtube she'd find your heartbeat yeah my mom too this is my mom oh yeah i want to hold her okay please yeah okay i do love moms and dad you're right okay i'm gonna text you a couple i want to take my teeth in and apparently we look alike but i don't know that's fine that'll be a fun game to see if we think so yeah she's totally rad you'll never see her like not in a half yeah she looks awesome and she's eating a dish she could never cook she's like enchiladas she loves them listen i thought i just love a mexican we have a lot of mexican food in england my mom has discovered mexican food in her late 50s and she's like i love this dish what is this off to the races she can't get enough of it yes she's really funky where do you think she got the confidence for that let me just need one more picture this is like four generations of women my mom me and my niece my Nana passed away in 2020 so you say where does she have confidence my mom is aries which i don't know how much that means to you rising i don't know what that but the traits i know of an aries are very strong-willed very impendent those are the most i know i mean most dishes can make it can make everything she can taste it she can make it have ten spices she's incredibly creative kind of a creative savant if she cared for social media or publicizing herself more she could do amazing things could have things on right she's incredibly creative but marches to the beat of her own drum doesn't read instructions will put that table together she doesn't want to follow rules ever i don't want to never be instructed how to do something no she hated when i brought her to set what happened she just hates the rules of it the being quiet and how boring it is everything goes over and over and over like she's not i don't care they're talking also it's generally like a pa telling your mom to be quiet so it's like a 22 year old that's got a compound like bus right and if you bring them on to set different if you're someone's if you're an actor it's so much for us every minute they have nothing to do you need anything she's like just leave me alone they're checking your wardrobe your hair and makeup she hated all that she's like people just keep coming in the room i'm like well yeah a little stubborn very stubborn she's beautiful oh yeah yeah i just want to say one thing before i hand this over for the listeners so all four generations are on a couch and everyone's smiling everyone has been instructed or intuitively knows to give the peace sign but man is like doing the girl scout's pledge yes yes yes so this is where my mom learned deuces so this is my mom obviously my niece knows she's a child she knows what's deuces you know but in english you might say deuces no i can hear it here i guess she got it from youtube my mom loves american tv drama all of that you know what she loves is when i was younger my mom would read the inquire magazine you know inquire it's just garbage right i just told monica yesterday the commercial used to be inquiring minds want to know but it was like posing as like some kind of legitimate information that you would be an inquiring mind like it's a compliment no you're a gossipy you're trying to hungry trashy people want to know so my mom always would read that at the markets also you can't get into a book because you have customers coming up all the time and for some reason that was her guilty pleasure that was like escape and what that has translated into now is youtube video blogs does she watch any psychics on youtube no psychics she can tell you everything like she watches fox soul she watches this vlogger she'll be like oh did you hear what happened with christian rock and blueface i don't know any of this i've never been into celebrity culture i never had posters on my wall of celebrities now if you ask me someone's name i don't know that was never my thing yeah so very funny that my mom knows all of that are you embarrassed if my mother was doing this i would go mother what the are you doing that's what i do sometimes i do get to my limit for the most part she'll call me or even more so because now my partner's american and we have american family as soon as she comes here she's like have you heard like that's not like talking about the weather do you think it's so-and-so's baby yeah 100 she knows all that stuff she's loving the ditties she knows everything about it no my mom specifically knows everything she is saying it and i'm like why do you know this yes well and she was following johnny deaf her mother was following she didn't miss one second of that for case she knew everything i got added i was like i'm telling you you shouldn't care about yeah yeah after a while i'm like mom it's just negativity it's just purely feeding on it's the most negative mind-numbing go i'm just gonna put my shows i know it's trash but then when you're having conversations with me about it it's important yeah yeah you know that it's just trash because you're talking to me about it and you know what i find my mom's like she was at my house and if you're here whatever you want but then of course i might be cooking until i'm absorbing it i think i've got a trash tv hangover i've got all this negative information in my brain i've got nothing i can do with it it means nothing i just have people i'm glad you're telling me all this because it does answer the question like that used to be an enormous industry all those terrible magazines they've gone away i've been thinking like well let me just stop getting interested in it what's the outlet now i guess it's this youtube and obviously instagram i think they're more interested in tiktok than they've ever been i've subscribed to this fantasy that instagram kind of is what neutralize it which is like you don't have to catch me out on the street i'm going to show you a picture of myself yeah maybe not you know the annie warhol quote in the future we'll have their 15 minutes of fame and that is obviously instagram and it neutralizes it in terms of the concentration of the base right basically down here but i guess i'm doing the top the concentration of celebrity and famous here before and everyone else has to climb to that whatever information you could give us please we're hungry gods of fame give it to us and now i guess it's more passed out well they're disseminating it themselves because i used to hate getting followed by the paparazzi but i'm totally comfortable sharing my life as long as i get to select a picture yes and i just feel like celebrities don't feed that machine themselves yeah but celebrity means less now because of instagram because people are their own brand influencers now are celebrities yes i've been on like a thousand shows back in the day you would be a known person but now it's like well some people watch shows you watch tiktok or your favorites are literally just influencers okay i have to ask you this sex i know you do the asking and you say you hate paparazzi but i always feel and you tell me because you have been doing this for longer but i feel like i miss out on this golden age of celebrity if i'm honest i'm quite a private person i don't want to know everyone's laundry and i don't want to know mine and i almost kind of wish i was in that phase before social media do you feel like you got in there yes i think in many ways chris and i are both beneficiaries of a system that doesn't really even exist anymore because we were both able to be in commercials and stuff and you're so right i look at your resume and in many ways your resume is better than mine you've been on a bunch of quality shows but the landscape so fragmented that even this really great show is going to be seen by a third of as many people as without a paddle or parenthood was seen by so yeah it was so centralized or concentrated that you would become famous now of course that's a double-edged sword there's money to go along which i like but then also it's a pain in the ass too so it is interesting you're 36 yeah yeah so i guess if you had the exact same career and it started 20 years ago you would probably be able to represent brands and secretly make another couple million dollars a year but then would it have been harder to get your foot in the door i don't know i think there's all these pros and cons there's pros and cons if you take everything like exactly who i am yes it would have been harder probably to get my foot in the door because how i come up when you guys are coming up gabrielle union the network needed one black female actress yes there's two black actors on 10 years of friends guest stars yes and certainly not one with a weird accent who refuses to train yeah that is also completely static as we were coming up the time before us did seem better so i'm so lucky i got to be in a few comedies that did well but 10 years before me all comedies did pretty well there was dozens and dozens of comedies out at the movie theater and they all did pretty well and then just slid slid slid and now there's not a single comedy in a movie theater you're gonna say feature-length comedy in a movie no which is so sad it is but then again there's so much brilliant tv is there a lot of comedy i don't know there's a lot of crap that's what it is i think actually a lot of brilliant everything i just think you're wading through the crap i feel a little bit like the tide is shifting to be like should we just make crap that's the thing that bombs me out we can just make crap because people will still watch it people still watch it will still make the same amount of money now this is the really nice part that we got to experience which i don't know that people now can achieve which is i was in without a paddle every single 10 to 16 year old boy saw that movie in america i still run into adults that are like oh my god my birthday party was that my camping trip was that it was a real chunk of their life in the same way that the comedies i watched as a kid but now you're gonna see 65 different shows this year it's hard to keep them straight you forget you've watched great series 100 so i think in that way it's harder to be an actual important part of someone's teenage years i think that's difficult for me to reconcile because i used to literally have like poetry cut out and stuck on my walls i've always been like an artsy kid i would make my own clothes and wear them to school you're always cool yeah oh no at school it didn't seem cool i never cared how did it play when i was at this catholic school it didn't play well i remember one day we were going on a school trip to like southampton we all got to shop in our own clothes because we wore uniform to that school so that's kind of an equalizer but we all tried on our own clothes and that was year eight oh my god okay i gotta tell you i remember this trip specifically because it's when the twin towers fell oh yes yes oh my god but i remember this trip because the twin towers but actually more so i remember showing up and i was wearing this red and white striped shirt my mom would give me like real thin stripes really cute almost like cowboy style with little pot buttons and then i was wearing flare jeans and light blue converse and i remember showing up very america there's some parts of america i've always loved like i love muscle cars i love america in terms of style and dress always want cowboy boots always love that stuff but anyway i remember a girl saying ew what are those to my converse none of the kids at that age were wearing them three years later converse were like in right i guess i get that from my mom i kind of marched to beat my own drum you have a really interesting personality you're a bit of enigma yes you're very unique what i think remains endlessly interesting about you is if you were american i feel like i would be able to explain you a little better as a categorical stereotypical person where i would think okay i kind of get it this is why she's this way because the fact that you didn't even care about actors and stuff isn't shocking but i think that's really weird if you ended up going into happy that's kind of bizarre well i guess from one image to another because you're very much an enigma too right oh do you not think i don't know well as in like well i mean mixed messages i think you're yourself 100% of the time all the time which is very similar to my brother he's five years older and now we have such a great relationship i think he's one of the coolest people i've ever ever met and i'll have the pleasure of knowing and i also say that mostly because he just came and i kind of like saw him in a whole other environment he does not change this man there's no element of code switching he knows who he is we went to a good nice state house and everyone sits there and he got his fillet on a t-bone and at the end picked it up like he was like listen they know what time i want i mean they started to me on a button i wouldn't dare pick it up and in that way i feel like you guys would get on so well you're very similar in that so i think that in itself to me is slightly enigmatic because i think there's very little of it i couldn't say wholeheartedly that there is no change for me depending on who i'm around i think that's more normal to be honest i think never changing is less normal but i think better and more elusive so when i say mixed messages well you are who you are and you probably have a certain following that think you're something but that is probably maybe some small part of you just very layered i think oh my god thank you this feels very complimentary okay okay do you look up to the older brother but what about when you're young it sounds like you're more following mom style path was older brother also kind of eclectic and interesting not in that way he looks like a homeless person most times he doesn't care he said one day like someone tried to give him money he looks homeless he was like yeah i'll take it oh yeah he's not offended he's just like sure if you think i'm homeless i'm homeless he just doesn't give shit that might be the most confident move i've ever heard yeah there's a funny thing in my family they have these traits well i guess with my mom and my brother i couldn't tell you my dad because i don't know him well enough i know who my dad is but i don't know who my dad is what age he wasn't around from about eight ish and actually more or less from that age completely out did he move well maybe just from different locations in east london he's just this is me kind of armchair psychologist thing very broken by his own upbringing in his mom in particular and so i think doesn't know how to be a dad i guess that's the best way to put it most generous it's both generous and probably very cutting because if you don't think that you never heard that he might not think his child has that thought of him i don't know what he thinks the thought is i wonder if you and i have the same dynamic then with my older brother and i because my dad left when i was three but my dad left when my brother was eight so they rode motorcycles together and we had a house with a yard and then we moved into an apartment so my brother very much pined for my dad and i did not at all similar my brother has way different memories of my dad going places with him he was 13 yeah my brother himself made more of an effort because i think he really felt like he needed that man yeah they had a real relationship probably yeah i don't know if it's pining my dad's never been a good dad he's just kind of been a person but i think that my brother interestingly enough said something the other day because i think he spent a lot of time being angry at him and he was like i just realized he's just a person and he's gonna be nice to your parents for you that's what's funny yeah you're like am i the type of person who's gonna be nice in spite of something or not because that's all we're working on is ourselves but also if you know my brother who has been very angry for a long time and can be quite a harsh person as well when he wants to be for him i was like whoa am i the asshole because i'm just like i don't want any concept has he evolved part of me wow you might be on the verge of a totally different thought which is you now have a little boy yeah that's curious yeah i don't know who knows how that'll percule you up now like what you think well i kind of want you to go either way though you could feel like who could possibly leave a child i do feel that's crazy but i'm also not just biologically there's something very different being a mother and being a father let's just say you're a feasible fact it's not one-to-one it's also not controllable by your own mind there's so much that we want to control and the world now will tell you you have some things are just biological and there's certain hormonal things that happen you have absolutely no control you have a ton of oxytocin right now so it cries doesn't sound as loud to you as it does to larry wait it sounds louder to me no especially when you're first like four four or five months out you're kind of built up on your hormones you're not missing stuff you're almost a little tiny bit stoned you know i'm built up on my hormones for sure but the crying thing's crazy to me you're gonna respond the pitch of it yeah less grating and the mom is ready to activate yes yes that makes sense because i also feel like even if he's in another room and i hear like i'm like way more tune my senses are on i feel like that bradley cooper film yes yes yes yes but i think if we would have taken you and larry two years ago and put you in some weird sound test where we played certain frequencies i bet you would have similar levels of agitation at those sounds and i just bet now if we measured you it would be diminished a bit do you know what i sometimes wonder as well this is side note he's five years younger than me i sometimes wonder can he hear sounds still that i can't hear the whole thing of like but maybe it's now we're both over 30s maybe it's fallen off also men then accelerate their hearing loss so they don't have to hear their wives this is also like yeah you're always in men with fucking hearing aids you don't ever see women with hearing aids they're just plugging their ears at the age they don't even do anything kristen just sent me this really funny meme i can't be a real story it said that this man had faked his own hearing loss so he didn't have to talk to his wife anymore and then she learned sign language to communicate with him and then he went blind and he was like ahhh and my response to that meme was i wish i could read this wait i didn't know larry was five years younger than you yeah he's five years younger than me wow i'm a beast god i remember when you were you doing house of lies when you first started dating no but i was working with kristen on jermaine mccready not house of life veronica mars exactly house of lies was pregnant oh right yeah veronica mars yeah and i feel like it was new in brand new i mean literally in the van going back from base to set is when i got the text from my manager who was like hey larry wants to go on a date with you can i give him your number it was that new and again this is back to your originality and your uniqueness where you just said to me point blank you're like i don't even know what his personality is like but he's so fucking hot he's definitely going to date with him and then you showed me a picture and i was like oh my god it's like fucking young lady craves yeah he's gorgeous who wouldn't go on a date with you why wouldn't you well everyone would but i think especially at whatever moment in time that was i actually think most people wouldn't have admitted that oh that you would just be like yeah i'm gonna give this a go because visually this person's very yeah yeah well i think people also want to be like well you know it's a personality it's like yeah obviously if someone's gorgeous and they have an awful personality they start to be ugly and someone can become better looking but off the bat we're animals he's gorgeous it's like a ferrari i'm going to roll the dice with this it's like yeah i hope he has a great personality if he doesn't then i maybe expected it because he's exactly looking you know he's even thinking about in terms of cars like sure i might be responsible to buy a prius or something but the car that's going to turn your head as you're walking is like a 60s ferrari drive and you're like oh my god yeah that's where your blood going yeah and then you go for a good personality yeah that's so nice okay when we spend time together i am always trying to get this out of you i'm of course fascinated with the notion that you grew up in england you're here since 2011 ish something like over 10 years how did you decide that you were going to come here and do this okay so i worked at summer camp and then traveled that's what we're telling yes exactly what okay yeah more info i worked at summer camp which actually there's a lot of people weirdly one of my agents also worked at summer camp she was a CIT with calisone training and then she worked in the office which makes complete sense if you meet her she wants to be behind that desk exactly she'll get it done anyway we're traveling after met a guy in san francisco we fell in love he moved to london and then couldn't stay because of the visa stuff he was tattooing and wanted to tattoo so he moved here internship and i was at drama school and was one term in so he moved and i started drama school and i absolutely hated it what's typical in england also i speak very fast so forgive me i'll try and slow it down people have the option of listening to 0.7 it's on the app oh that's so cool so it's on them most people listen two times because we're so long they can choose exactly the template they want to hear this at okay so it's quite difficult to take a gap year after secondary school before college before uni figure out what you want to do i didn't get into the drama school i really wanted to get into i really went to get into bristol old vic well actually my first year auditioning i got called back for guilt hall which is a very good school so orlando bloom went but he dropped out and i was like that's it i've done it very cocky i was like i'm in when i got called back i didn't get in and was kind of a bit devastated for the year and then the next year tried and i really wanted to go to bristol didn't get into bristol a bit so i got taken two gap years because i was like right well i kind of put all my eggs in that basket let's just take another year so in the two years i did more traveling i worked as a teaching assistant i've had a job since i was 14 years old but i worked full time i worked in bars and all this so i just did a lot of growing up so then when i did get into drama school that next year you'd already been on your own i was financially independent i mean i still lived at home with my mom but it was just hard to go back to being in school where they were telling me what to do and when to do it america is like if you're the fastest run the fastest no one will stop you in england it's like let's all hold hands and run at the same speed and we have a lot of the tall poppy syndrome and so that is very difficult if you are someone who's like well i want to run the fastest because i can run the fastest i want to fulfill my own potential you know i want to see what i can do and i was very much beaten down for it in drama school i had two drama school teachers that hated me in my first year i went to e15 i remember one of the people she was like we don't have a lot of big stars that come out of this school but we like it that way and in my mind i'm like we love mediocrity come on it's like a tech school going like we haven't produced any inventors and we like it that way but it's also like do the students i remember you have to do the end of year um no no what's worse than that you don't know you perform at all into like your third year but um you do a review you know your boss says like how do you think you're doing those things we have that review let's do that at the end of each semester and i remember in my first time they were like how do you think you're doing and i felt great like i was getting all my coursework in and they ripped me to shreds they were like you know you're not a team player you go ahead of the class you work with them you're like they they eviscerated me two of them told me to shreds enjoyed it yeah absolutely enjoyed it and i was like i'm not coming back for this bullshit and a girl i went to drama school with who was a good friend of mine at school she was like trust me it'll get better after your first year you don't have to deal with them again so just come back so i was like okay i'll come back for the next semester day one of semester two i was like what the fuck that's one thing i think i got from my very strong sense of self i know myself and i was like i know i'm not going to be here and i met this guy and we were in love and at that point he was still living in london but it was sort of in the works to come here and i was just like what am i doing i hate this place i don't think it can do anything for me and so he moved here and was like well why don't you do classes out here or something and it wasn't this big i'm gonna come to hollywood it was just like that's an adventure that was fun why don't i just try that yeah i assumed you assessed the opportunities in london and then you assessed the opportunities in new york or la and said i will go there because i want no it was more like he's there i didn't have anything in london too i didn't have an agent and to me i genuinely was just like the adventure of it all i think maybe it's the folly of youth or the beauty of youth actually you don't think too hard about stuff which also is like why we can't give kids extreme power because you can't even think too far ahead month out is maybe max yeah you really don't have your frontal lobe isn't even developed yeah so i'm like 21 and i'm not thinking like you don't have a visa you don't have finances you don't have family money you have no safety net i literally was like i have my grant that i was given to the next semester that i haven't given to the school yet and i have some student loan money so that's 5,000 pounds that'll last me forever that's like more money than i've ever had and that was probably like 8,000 us dollars yeah 100% i'm like you have 5,000 pounds go to america you can make it go buy a house i mean i'll be famous in three weeks i was like i'll have an Oscar if i'm 23 that's right had you done comedy in england at all not directly another jab that i got a lot from drama school was that i was too comedic that i didn't take it seriously i always made things comedic even if it was dramatic i would make it funny and that was bad i think the subtext of everything they were saying was you're not grateful enough to be here that you've nailed it 100% that was the subtext i remember even auditioning for rado and one of the things that they would say is we break you down so we can build you back up that was what they but actually what i think they do in a lot of schools is they knock any individuality out of you and they homogenize you and you kind of almost see that in a lot of the performances that come out of it it's like very by the book i get it when you go to art school right you have to learn certain techniques i think Picasso said you know you have to learn the rules you can break the rules but i don't think it's quite the same in acting no you can definitely lose something along the way yes they very much kind of wanted that and i think i refused to let the life be knocked out of me and that was not the way they're like be the instrument almost like of the school you're the vessel only you're to bring nothing of yourself yes and that's i think complete opposite of acting you have to bring so much of yourself yeah well minimally you just look at the people you liked and are they the people that were homogenized i'm even more intrigued i don't meet them in real life because i get a hunch that it's a little bit dark a little bit this so when you get here how does ucb hit your radar and why do you decide to start there i was working at a cafe that i started working at illegally honestly the owner was kind of terrible but also for this kind of great that he let me work there and there was a girl there she did ucb so the way i got enough of a visa to stay was i started taking classes at leastrasburg so i had a student visa so i was taking classes there and then working at this cafe because obviously my five thousand pounds run out i couldn't make a stretch but i didn't invest well or something so imagine i still don't even know what i was going on i'll invest for that and that'll be yielding me at least six thousand a year it's amazing how quickly that money goes there's always things online that like you can take five thousand dollars and become a millionaire it's like show me how to invest five hundred thousand but yeah anyway so i started doing those classes and then i was doing actors access and all the other ones i forgot the names i thought i was like self-sacrificent So I was doing student films and then also trying to do auditions and just kind of feeling like nothing was happening. Loads of different other classes. You would do these things where at the end of it, there'd be like a workshop. Okay, I'll tell you something about those.

I did so many of those casting workshops where you pay and I know people have mixed feelings about them, but I think they're fantastic. Oh, great. I think they were one of the few equalizers that we actually had left as actors that didn't have their foot in the door. I don't think I'd be sitting here if I didn't do them.

Sure, there were some casting directors that were just money grabbers, but the first thing I ever tested for, I had zero credits, no agent, no lawyer, no nothing. And I tested because I went to one of those showcases and I did it with a casting director and I wish I could remember their name, but the show was called A to Z. I auditioned for that. Yes, the lady who cast that, she was like, you're great.

You can audition for that show there. You just bring some sides and you audition. There was this glint in her eye and she brought me into the office like separately outside of that and I got to the test stage just kind of on my own. Like at the test, I had to find a lawyer because you know you have to get that all done.

But that was through workshop and then once I got taken away, it almost was like, how do you get an audition if you don't have an agent and you don't have a manager? How do you ever get in the door? Oh, I completely agree. I was on here forever and I had friends that had agents and they were going on commercial auditions.

I could not figure out like what on earth, I did not get an agent while I was in the Sunday company at the Groundlings performing once a week. And even then it was dicey and I had an agent who went out of business while I was shooting the pilot punk. Like literally went bankrupt. I had no idea you were in the Sunday company.

You didn't? No. I'm terrible. I've done no research.

Well, this means it's the fact that I don't care about celebrity. I've never researched anything. Okay, so UCB, that is one of the ways. So I was not having any success.

A girl who works at the cafe, she was at UCB, she was on a Herald team. Really quick, Monica, was there any overlap between Kirby and you? A little maybe. Because you don't have to work at the front desk.

Oh, yes. And I interned. And I was on a billion teams. I was never on a Herald team though.

I think there was overlap because when I came over here, I'd known you because I interned too. Right. I interned when it was just Franklin. Exactly.

So we were, but we never had classes together. No, I think you were maybe ahead of me. My first class, I wish I could even tell you the year of my first class. I feel like you were interning before I was, like maybe when I was just going there.

Yeah. But anyway, she had said to me, you should try it. And I tried 101. I used to do these classes in London called the Anna Sheer Theatre.

That was like my kiddie. It was like a community center, honestly. And that was my introduction to acting. Yes, yes.

It's rewarded. And UCB felt pure, felt rebellious, felt punk. Yeah. I haven't been there for so long.

It started to feel less of that. And the more it grew, as is the nature of these things, kind of like markets in London, they become victims of their own success. They get commercialized and things like that. The nature of improv is so fleeting and truly no one cares.

You care a lot when you're doing it, but you can't really explain it to anyone outside of it. There's nothing worse than when you do an improv show and you're at the whatever after party and people are trying to explain or walk through this improv thing. And you're like, all right, without the high wire act, it's terrible. Terrible.

That's why it doesn't work on TV. There's no stake. Yeah. And then also, if you're not in it and steeped in it, Monica, maybe you can attest to this.

When I say it doesn't matter, now that I'm not really doing shows, someone asks me to do a show, I'm like, absolutely not. We did one together, though. That was so fun. And I had an improv in like a decade.

Well, that's the only time it's fun, is when you get to play with your friends. So now if someone asks me to do a show, if it's not with all my friends, it's also kind of like a social thing, then it's just not fun. Of the many amends I owe Brie, the woman I was with for nine years, probably the number one is that she had to suffer through every Sunday night after a show where we all got Brock and went through every sketch and every improv, fish for compliments. I mean, what a thing for her to have observed.

My ex was like, but he came to every show willingly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she was there. Listen, the show's fun. Yeah, you're right.

The six hours of sucking each other off. Yeah, it's so true. That is what we do. The drunker you get, just the more sucking happens.

And then you're sucking yourself off. Yeah, you are. And it's not really at the moment. It's just like, well, then that's cool.

How do we do that? How do we do that? I gained a great awareness of it because my sister went through after I did. I let her host after they're big to get into the Sunday Company show, or maybe a fourth level show.

And I let her host it at my old house. And I just kind of was like in and out of the kitchen every now and then. I just catch the snippets of them. And I was like, oh, Christ, that's what I did to breathe.

Well, it becomes really cringy when you're not part of it. But when you're part of it, it's so pure. It's so special. That's what's pure about it.

It's almost like being a kid. When you're out, it's like, what? It's so cringy that this thing matters and you care that you're so invested. But it's so pure.

And I consider UCB to have been my university. Don't you feel lucky? Like, when we were just talking about the golden age of celebrity, I do feel like we were in the golden age of UCB. Unequivocally.

When there was one UCB, even just the beginnings of Sunset, it was okay. But really, it was pretty quick after that. It was pretty quick. When your classes were all over the city, it was like maybe your lyric hyperion.

Trugging to find parking. Yes. Going to some unknown theater on Santa Monica and seeing people walking. You're like, maybe they're in my class too.

Yes. Like, absolutely. What a golden age. But I would argue that people in New York probably think they were a part of the golden age.

They probably feel that way, yeah. Yeah. I think they had a different golden age because they said they were an absolute golden age. But no.

It was big enough that you felt like you were really part of something real. And that could maybe lead to something, but it was also smart enough. Can I tell you a secret? It's a secret.

Now we're honest. I had no idea what UCB was. I didn't know who any pod was. I never watched SNL.

I didn't know comedy. I didn't watch Seinfeld. I guess I knew comedy. I just didn't know this stuff.

That's probably liberating because I entered the ground and going, this is how one gets on Saturday Night Live. So the pressure and the stakes are always kind of there. I needed this to all work out. I didn't have an agent.

This was going to be my singular shot at getting my foot in the door. I had a really happy ride. Like when things came, I was like, whoa. I'm just now seeing a parallel though.

And I haven't put it together in the past, which is the other annoying thing is we would get in a fight, me and my friends. And again, the fight, a very long bar fight is three minutes. And we would talk about that fight for the next eight hours. And Bree would walk around.

Are you guys still? But now I'm realizing both things are high adrenaline, high stakes, failures on the table. There's something about processing everything you just went through. And you really had to process the show weirdly after as well.

Good or bad. You have to really do it. One through every meet. Every call back.

Oh my God. You brought back. Oh God. But it's fun.

It's fun. I loved it. I was on Harold team and Morty. I loved it.

It's the thing I'm most nostalgic for. Yeah, that and my flat in Glendale. That was a moment in time for me. What happened at the flat in Glendale?

It was just the first time I ever lived fully alone. It was a studio. I think that I want space. But actually, I could live in here very happily.

Like I like a little cozy space. And it was cozy. But the wardrobe was massive. That was really cool.

Obviously bed and living room are the same area. But the wardrobe. That's the closet? The closet.

The closet was like. Inordinately locked. Yeah. The guy I think upstairs basically made it another bedroom.

You know the. Murphy bed. Murphy bed. Yeah.

But that was all around the same time. I guess it was to me like my college years. Were you hooking up with the other comedians? What about the boyfriend?

No, no, no. Oh, so the boyfriend then became husband. Which then became ex. Oh my god.

I didn't cry. You're divorced. I am. I know.

We have traveled together. I know. Did I tell you I killed a man? Did I murder a man a little bit of time?

No, no, no. No, no. That was exactly true. Because there are so many people kill people.

It's not something I lead with. It's not something that I'm like. It's not a brag. It's a brag.

Which is also funny. At first I was like. I won't have a divorce. But even a seven year relationship that ended in marriage is not crazy.

It's not crazy. But I will say for being young it is crazy. If my kid came to me at 24 or 5 and I'm getting married I'd say please don't. Even if you want to be with this person.

Just speak with them. Don't get married. Right. I can't be good at one.

Because certainly Brie and I that was a marriage. We just didn't get married. But living together for nine years. You know.

We did that. Nine years is huge. Especially all through your 20s. That's what it is.

For me. Millions of the marriage. It's the all through your 20s. It's the time of your life where things are most in flux.

Besides obviously the stages of being a kid. Things change rapidly. Like every month you're different. But you're a child.

We don't trust under 16 year olds to make massive choices. 18, 21. We give you the power to make choices. But I just don't think your brain is aware of what a lifetime looks like.

Or even what a marriage is like. A marriage is torture. No. I mean even the nature of relationships.

I think you go in so Pollyanna-ish. A real badge of honor for me was me and my ex. We never argue. But actually I realized it's because we didn't fully communicate.

Like you have to argue. There's no way two people can live together. Make decisions together. Pay bills together.

Do all that and not argue. Someone's building resentment. If not. Just the fact that I've grown up one way.

You've grown up another way. I see the world one way. You see it one way. There's no friction in that.

There's no moment where. Just two human beings sharing a space. Sharing a space is right. We just always get on.

And I think you don't. You just harbor things and you build it up. The other thing I think you succumbed to some illusion that you have just figured yourself out in some way. You've really just defined who you are as an adult.

And you really can't imagine that that's super flexible. And that you're going to change in a lot of ways. I think that's the inconceivable part. We tried couples therapy.

I remember separating. And I remember thinking. Maybe even saying to the therapist. I feel like betrayed by my own mind.

I feel like what I thought. I felt like what I thought I knew was completely impenetrable. If I choose this person, then I choose them forever. It's deeper for you and would be for me, too.

Because I think one of the things you have constructed your identity on is you're an individual who has convictions. So it's almost a defining characteristic you've been priding yourself on. And then you go, hold on a second. Maybe my conviction is also valuable.

Yes, I'm having a moment of that. Particularly this week. I don't know what it is. I'm recognizing that I want to grow up and not just get older.

I'm quite a headstrong person. And convictions are a thing that you have to have them. Particularly in this time, you have to have them. But some of the things that serve you can betray you as well.

And I think sometimes my being so like, I know what this is. I won't make that decision. There are times where I look back now and I'm like, maybe a little more flexibility or a little less hubris. I don't know if it's self-assuredness could serve to produce your results.

Hello. Hey. Are we going crazy? Oh, okay.

Can we do a feeding? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, of course.

Let's do a feeding. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You're so wrong.

Hi. I'm sorry to have done that for you. We're all in here. I'm not even here.

I happen to have some in my pocket. It's okay. Come on, relax now. It's okay.

Oh, you did great. Do you think about feeding him like a piece of cheese or anything? Maybe it's time for an avocado. I thought about feeding.

Yes. Can I say, it's okay, it's okay. By the way, everything about breastfeeding is he's just like an animal. He's just like, yeah.

Oh, did you stop? It's okay, honey. I think he's cost to feed him because he's not able to feed every two hours. Hold him in like.

Yeah, I'm going to get out of here. They were like, I have to go. They're just having a piece of boobs. Yeah, yeah.

I don't regularly see these boobs. I'm the pleasure side of his mouth. You missed it? So much.

I loved breastfeeding. I love it. I love it. Yeah, you okay though?

You got it. Back to my chill state. That's right. Thanks, babe.

Thanks, bruh. I love chicks. They take great care of me. Everyone ran up in a panic.

The man is uncomfortable. Everyone, everyone, what are you doing? That's like, man, why do they do this? I'm like, well, because we've been doing this about this thing.

Exactly. When my dad was in the hospital dying. In the hospital, Larry was there, he was trying to call me. She was like, couldn't speak at this point.

He came up, but took off the sock. No, no. So he wasn't called. Oh, thank you.

Now he's just like yellow. Bye. Bye. Oh, my God, thank you.

Bye, little buddy. All right, D-Money, let us land this plane so that we can join you guys. I don't know. Bye, D-Money.

I don't want to leave her laugh. I don't want you to leave my laugh either. It's my favorite thing. That was a sweet sidebar.

That was lovely. Yeah, little people in here just like giving love and receiving love. Now Deltie doesn't want to leave. Soulmates are squeezing and hugging.

I love you. Well, that was great. That was so great. That was the first.

A guest stopping to breastfeed. Yeah. I'm honored that that happened. Even though that has nothing to do with us, I just loved it.

You could never do that anywhere else. Do you mean John Larry King? My kid, whereas in other situations, even if you have to do it, you have to care about a larger group and then it would kind of be an act of defiance or you have to ask permission or whatever. Yeah.

I have a little scarf. I call my shame scarf. And sometimes I can be bothered. But if I'm wearing a big enough top or whatever, I don't.

There's a couple of things. I think you should do it wherever you want. Do whatever. I do think, even me, we're humans, right?

We see people's bodies and sometimes we look at them. And so you have your whole top up and your boob is ginormous and your baby is sucking. You're probably going to look. Even the other day when we were here, heaven forbid she thinks I'm a widow, I was looking at Molly like, God damn it.

I'm with her two babies and I was a full perv. Literally, she was in a bikini and I was like, just turn around so I can just see the front. I just want to see the stomach. Like, we're humans.

We look at people's bodies. It's so weird. So, yeah, I don't think anyone should be scorned for it. You shouldn't stare.

But if you look past me, she's like, you know, you just love it. You might look at someone's tits if it's out. They're not always out either. They're not normally out.

Well, you know, Kristen. It's different. Yes, it's novel. There's a breast on the scene.

You know Kristen very well. You guys have done four things together. Yeah. And to know Kristen for four years was to just see her tits everywhere.

Like, any dude that came by, I'm like, just come on in. There's no shame scarf. Both are out whether one's being used or not. It's just like, let's take this shirt.

She was very comfortable. She's very comfortable even not pregnant. She's very comfortable with her nude body. I'm comfortable with it on my own with my family very much.

So, not just with everyone. I guess like if I do a fitting or something, I don't mind being top-nosed. I'm not like a nudist beach person. Or even if people were around.

If I was at the house and the painters were over, I'd have both my boobs out. Sure, sure. That's pretty good. Just for your own longevity, we shouldn't be probably.

Okay, but we were talking about guys, and this brings me to another observation of mine about you, which is you don't seem to have much approval junkie in you. You're not flirty. Well, and maybe just your natural essence is attractive. It's insanely attractive.

There's no vibe of like, I need to know that you think I'm attractive. Well, you know what I think is helpful? I didn't think I was attractive or know I was attractive until I was probably 23 or 4. I mean, I thought I was ugly until I was about 18 or 19.

And I thought I was kind of cute-ish. I mean, I remember saying to someone, Rachel Bloom, I was at a picnic, and I was like, oh my god, I was a completely atrocious looking kid. And I showed her a picture, and she was like, well, I can't see it. I don't want to invalidate that, but I really never felt a couple of things.

My mom never grew up being like, you're beautiful. I never got any affirmations on my physical appearance. And then I was kind of like a bit of an odd kid. Like, I remember when I was 13, I had the tips of my hair red.

I watched Kelisa's music video, I Hate You So Much. And she had this half long hair, half shaved hair, and I went into the mirror and cut my own hair. Like, just literally. And this is also, again, before Instagram, so I didn't have the picture in front of me.

It was a music video that I'd seen, and then from memory. I had to lock in from memory. So I'd never made choices based on what made me look prettier. My currency has never been looked.

So it was actually quite weird for me. Even when they started looking at me, I used to be like, what are you looking at? It's not very, like, what are you looking at? Yeah, what's wrong with this dude?

This guy's weird. Yeah. He seems interested. What the fuck's wrong with this guy?

What are you doing with your money? Yeah, this guy's going to have my money. I have 5,000 pounds. This is going to last me an eternity.

What an interesting voyage, because you are objectively, outrageously beautiful. Oh, thanks. Yeah, it's kind of a shocking level of beauty. Well, Chris and I say it to you all the time.

We always get the most pleasing face. There's like something almost anesthetizing about looking at your face. But we've also told you directly. Well, I get more caught in your flowery of Larry.

Well, Larry, I'm sorry. Larry actually pisses me off. In fact, I'm still outraged. The other day, you told me, like, oh, yeah, Larry's recovering from a hernia operation.

No, heart surgery, which is way worse. Maybe I mean, a hernia is justified to be mad at him still. A heart surgery. While you were, like, giving birth.

This is insane. Yes, and then I said, oh, my Lord. I didn't even know he had a thing. And then you said, yeah, I mean, he hasn't been able to work out in two years.

And then Larry went, fuck that guy. He can suck a dick. I hope he has 100 more heart surgeries. Oh, not one was right now.

How dare he. How fucking dare he have not worked out in two years and looked like that. Yeah. But.

just yesterday i was with erica curtis yes she loves sugar oh and she was like curvy's face is so incredible i can't stop looking at it oh that's so nice because i do feel like i would like to feel you can't put too much stock in it because your face is going to change but just be like oh okay i recognize that because my mom is stunning she's so beautiful but i think she has put so little stock in it she missed it my mom uses just like baby lotion on her face i'm like that's a good product because it's nice to feel pretty it's nice to feel attractive and you know it's just for you it's kind of both right yeah it's for me but also it's nice if someone says oh yeah oh you look nice you feel good you feel confident you can see when women say they don't like feeling hot they are either lying or they've been so hot since they were so young that literally it's a given they don't yes i have met a couple dudes that are so fucking hot that they're almost not even interested in women there's no reward there there's no chase of course it's personal like me that's kind of boring or their hotness has led to some sort of trauma yeah sure we gotta include yeah but i have a big difficulty with the light they're for me my tattoos they're just for me we're social animals we live in a world where we take in other people around us and also we're constantly evaluating our surroundings and people around us and making judgments is part of who we are and assessing each other and sizing each other up and prowling we're thin slicing we're trying to figure out are they safe they threat they are amazing and all the outside stuff is also what is signaling the inside stuff kind of this is who i'm showing you that i am i have this piercing i have this whatever it is i don't know this whole like i just just myself i guess it stems from yourself but it is also telegraphing to the world who you want the world to know you as of course stay tuned for if you dare okay third observation so one is like you don't seem to have a lot of approval seeking which is fascinating and then you're already doing it which is you're i would say uniquely pragmatic for an actor in hollywood you're very practical about what the world really is you and i are generally bonding over like yeah but that's all bullshit we all know what's really going on and i've been curious is that do you think your english perspective or just your own personal perspective i think a lot of it is english because i sometimes find that i'm received here too harshly or maybe say it is too much a little bit like we don't say that the other day i was at a social house with someone who had a membership and there was a dog in there and this dog came up and had a service vest on and was like sniffing around and i went that's not a service dog yeah yeah there's a party you say what you're thinking of course i don't have complete word i can understand the situation that was sort of like it also felt kind of funny hey girl we don't know that's not a service dog right but was she trying to act like she didn't know it was a service dog or that i should be fooled into thinking well anyway you don't want to participate in some silly fantasy you're kind of unwilling to play the role of yes now i should be offended or now i should feel touched by this i have a very like live and let live attitude for most things the only tribe i really want to be part of is my friends and my family like a very very small community of people that's a group that i live and die by i don't like the tribalism in general like i don't like if you're part of this group you have to believe all of this i don't want you to say i'm a this or i'm a that i don't think there was ever a time where people weren't polarized but i do think there was a time where people could have more nuance in their thinking and much more tolerance the reason why we can't have it is because we keep mistaking public platforms as intimate spaces where we can have conversations you know like rules get made because someone did something now it's like don't dive into the pool because someone domes the pool so now we need a rule and it's almost like we want to have conversations we want to be open but now these freaking clowns it's like all right now nothing can be serious or real it used to be that we acknowledge we share a space so you're in a town people think differently but we're here but there's no other place now there is a place you can live most of your life on a platform or on a computer and then even those platforms and computers will actually drive you to locations in the real life the 3d life that also there'll be no compromise required that's to me what's changed there's no acknowledgement of like hey guys we're all here what's so crazy is i look like my nan she came from the caribbean lived in like a shack in the caribbean came to london moved into an area where there were a lot of other caribbean people but a lot of english people loads of people and the love her neighbors have for her not to say that she lived in a utopia where color didn't matter but community mattered more right the people in your community and that came down to people the personality not your political beliefs not what you've assigned yourself to be or not the label you've given yourself none of that sort of stuff or the group you have to be part of it was just are you a good person you know i go over and i check on peggy and i make sure she's okay and that was their group and it's small you could care about that group of people and then we have the internet which felt like our world expanded but then it shrunk everything too because now you don't even know your neighbors you don't care about them i live in a neighborhood that's very very eclectic it's a small neighborhood and there's a facebook page i don't know when it happened because i moved to this neighborhood in 2020 so i don't know if that changed things but like everyone is so angry truly i think you can believe whatever you want i don't understand this world where everyone has to believe the same things but also in believing different things we can find more commonality if we're not so locked in and subscribed we're not leading with this difference yeah and however you want because at the end of the day we're all humans we all want the same things right we want comfort and we want to be safe i think most people want the best and i'm trying to hold on to the fact that i have always thought that most people are good and most people want for the best things i do think i just think it becomes difficult to sort of keep that as a perpetual thought when you look online and you see and hear a lot of loud people but i do still cling to that because i've met people that validate that everyone feels attacked everyone's acting out of defense all the time that just leads to this anger so when michael brown happened that was seemingly like a very long time ago not that long ago i was like very active in early black lives matter i would go down to the police precinct in la and there would be moments where you could talk openly and speak about things like a lot of that but there was a quote i've seen flying around that was like if you're not outraged you're not paying attention then 2020 happened and everyone had time to sit in their house and everyone just sat and got outraged and got outraged as the form of paying attention and so now if something happens you gotta talk about it you gotta say something you gotta show your outreach because then everyone knows that you're paying attention we know what side you subscribe to and if you don't say something then what is it saying that they're not saying something there's an unfalsifiable claim that by not commenting on something you're somehow complacent in one side or the other like it's created this weird construct completely where you cannot win they're basically holding a gun to your head and saying you are going to alienate half this country which side do you want to alienate and if you don't alienate one of them then you've alienated both of them as if this isn't some tiny part of your life even if you're someone who's acting on social media every day it's still a small part of your life i'm at the point where i don't even go on that thing every day and i've just figured out scheduled posts god bless so i can be on even less the tag in my little bio is this is my linkedin because it kind of is it's not supposed to be in a lot of hair braiders i'm not for hair braiders just to show you my work because they've sent me the assets this week and willow yeah yeah and like a couple you might be gone i found a braider no this is a question i do think i asked you when we were together in tennessee and you wrote luckily so i don't feel completely out of line asking you you wrote two books little black girl the things you can do which you wrote by yourself and then little black boy things you will do you wrote i'm deeply curious about this how do you think and are you even able to evaluate i'd imagine so your partner's black and grew up in america how do you think the black experience differs in england from america also i know that's too broad of a question because even within america you can have a bazillion black yes but is there something to be said in general about the two yeah for sure because the way we came to these places are very different to start with everyone in the uk whether you're caribbean or not my family caribbean so you're either windrush generation your grandparents came maybe your parents came if they're a little older but most people my age are second generation british their parents probably born there maybe their parents are born in the city they chose to go there in fact they were invited the windrush generation they needed more working class jobs to be filled nursing factory workers when everything was made in britain still so they were invited they needed that workforce so there's that and then a little later you had a large african migration so there's a massive difference in the way we came to be in these countries and then also what we got to hold on to so my family are caribbean so i have that language i have the food i have the culture we go back i know the exact island we're from though obviously even by way of how we got to the caribbean is a different thing but i know that's my culture that's my heritage and then obviously if you're an african person even more so direct because we've come to london from the caribbean obviously by way of africa at some point but you know for them it's much more direct so i think in the most general terms the way we've come to these countries are completely different so the experience is going to be different the way we've been received is going to be different i mean my mom grew up in the 70s and there were still signs that said no dogs no blacks no irish people who are different aren't often just received with open arms and in the uk there was actually a lot of camaraderie between caribbean and irish people because of that because they were received in similar ways but i also think that we don't have that original sim that america can't get rid of and also because of that becomes a real defining trait a lot of people would let america tell it blackness started from slavery sometimes i find here the defining trait is this struggle whereas for me it's like we come from the caribbean the inciting incident yeah black is a very negative place obviously it's a negative place that's the understanding but i think it actually continues to further reduce the people to go like this is where your history began that's not where black history began at all black history did not begin at slavery actually if you look in the whole history of black people slavery is like a very recent thing well the very first piece of black people yeah and then also you've got to look at where we've come from in terms of teaching language and discovering things and resources and mansamusa it starts from here because that in itself creates a limiting perspective also this is kind of a side of it's on that but you know i watched katwinin's most recent standard oh i'm dying to see that it was good and i enjoyed some bits more than others it took a second and then it really got started there's one moment where he talks about reparations i believe very much in reparations i know some people feel split about reparations i don't think it's a handout i think it's crazy i feel very strongly about reparations not just because i think it's owed but i also think it's almost like in this industry right people will go oh they love you they love you they love you and then they'll nickel and dime you on your quota and i'm like it doesn't matter to me that they say they love me show me yeah the only way you can really show unless you're in like an intimate relationship the only way you really show in a business setting or in that sort of setting you show appreciation is financially right and respect that's the world we live in what reparations would do not to mention the fact that there are roughly 42 million african-americans really small number even if you take a billion dollars and then just split that up it's actually not that big a number to give reparations to this group of people i say this group because i exclude myself because i'm not an african-american i wouldn't be deserving of that but you can almost like start the clock again and go like okay not that everything changes there's issues with mental health and drugs it's a symbolic admission it's a symbolic admission and it's also like you were saying about making amends when you go into like a program it's just that i can tell you what the trickiness is yeah from my perspective tell me black folks definitely deserve reparations it's generational it was systemic and today people are born still dealing with that deficit the people that are currently here don't feel any ownership of that crime so it's the white people yeah so it's interesting that what they are being asked to do is pay for the sins of their ancestors which is a tough sell because you're going like yes they deserve that but do i deserve to be the one who pays for that when i didn't perpetuate that then a more macro view or argument against that would just be but you're suffering even though that's what i'm saying well that's one thing that i hear exactly the argument but my answer to that is just yes because you're suffering that thing and then i also think that the burden that it has on everyone right the suffering and then the white guilt and then i shouldn't feel like that because it wasn't me the anger the everything the defensiveness the defensiveness the whatever side of it the stupid fucking black swears that everyone posted during a pandemic all of that is the guilt and the guilt weighs on different people differently and yes you're paying for the sins of your ancestors but then it's almost like isn't everyone watching how the germans commit a big chunk of time to deal with the history of the holocaust and how in schools the kids are told to go home and pack a box and everything you want to keep in your life you gotta bring to school in this box none of those people were nazis and that's not killing them to do that and it is making them better so having to observe that in a documentary like oh what's his name uh mike amore there's like a 30 minute thing about that and i was like yeah that's really doable like this is actually kind of beautiful and our money's going somewhere well that's why i think financially we're kind of proving every single day it's so doable covid prove that we can give people money and how much we give to war as well of course did you when you came here did you feel any kind of observable like oh it's a different vibe here oh yeah i remember being in a charity shop with my friend i love i love someone else's stuff love it you're nosy is what it is i'm nosy yeah these under ribbon ones i want to look at them i remember this woman i kind of walked past the aisle she kind of held her bag a little tight i could see it because that's the other things like you can see it when people do this but they think they're being discreet you you can see it she heard me speak with my friend and then she was like oh wow where are you from and also if you've ever been to london everyone sounds like me in london it's funny because it's so big and such a major sort of culture but yet it kind of absorbs mostly its own culture so i still feel like people seem very exhausted we also have this huge stereotype about your accent yeah of course there's a disconnect between my skin tone and my accent for most people i got you but that's also another thing that doesn't work sometimes i say words wrong no one corrects me you're getting a word word sometimes i'll give directions always always always yeah but counterbalance with your blackness you might actually be having the same experience yeah yeah yeah i'm confused you had an english accent i need to duck for this oh man okay let's talk about sugar by all accounts i think it must be huge because you were here this weekend and my father-in-law was here and he does not watch any television he was rabid to talk to you about it yeah that's a huge sign to me because it's appealing to me i've been watching it and i love it it's really really good i haven't watched it yet you're gonna get major veronica mars flashbacks because it's noir and there's these very familiar archetypes that veronica mars had which is like they're just nasty ass people like dicky or davy what's his name yes davy oh yeah he's just a shitty piece of shit that's a very veronica mars archetype yes it is that's funny because i was like oh this is the first novel actually no veronica mars is yeah i was just like yeah we have a bad person on the list yes i want you to gossip for a second because i have a great fascination about him but i've never met him but colin farrell i feel like he's one of my people he's fantastic he's a charming motherfucker yeah i wish i could spend more time just talking with him he's such a celebrity as well he's he's such a great normal he's irish i think that's helping not from here and having that perspective and that's just a big blue collar chip on the shoulder yeah exactly i always feel like not genuinely want to stereotype but when i was in hospital the moment i had an irish nurse i was like oh i feel okay i feel better like that's just something about irish people good people i think you feel very comfortable around them i can love it yeah yeah okay but acting with him is lovely well you're the beast of an actor and you know he is still i think i've been quite fortunate to still work with this but i know people who work with a-listers who are like this he does not phone him he wants to rehearse with you he knows his lines he comes to set prepared when it's time to work it's time to work and you feel like you're working with an equal even though you're like oh my god this is the guy from phone booth that was my original that's my go-to you need to see tigerland have you ever seen tigerland that's where now joel silver's like he needs to be a movie star yeah okay yeah he's phenomenal does that happen anymore that's when i say the golden age well i think we have a couple of them on our hands right now zendaya yeah zendaya okay and also jenna ortega from tv i guess and then i can't say his name correctly but zendaya's both timothee chalamet i think we're like oh okay yeah this is our new movie star maybe i don't watch enough stuff in the past it felt like that happened because it was undeniable and now it sometimes feels arbitrary we're picking i mean just picking in the past it felt like this is undeniable this person yeah yeah yeah natalie portman natalie portman maybe you're like whoa and also the project right you're like whoa maybe some of this is also what's happened in the last few years where the pandemic we were forced to watch tv so we were just like any one of these people because we had to watch them i feel that way about jen now ortega okay i have the same feeling watching her that i had when i watched natalie portman or was like get out of here at what age doing all that and then watch her in this and it's an opposite like whoa i'm getting it still okay okay now they do three movies a year in that whole system i don't know that exists they're gonna have to do one of these huge temple movies that takes eight months and all that i mean emma stone you can own her yeah she's lovely as well she can get butts in seats i mean i think that's what it sort of is it is yeah there's something with those actors that still feel like they love acting they really love acting i mean that's part of not getting sort of burnt out doing too much they work with incredible directors so you're allowed to do what you think that you can do and what you want to do i think i've only really had that experience once on this indie that i did with anew is this we strangers i don't know she's kind of a comedy girl too it's funny because her stuff now is so much more serious but she wrote for college humor but her stuff now is a little more surreal with comedy elements but that project has been the only project where i felt like i love a lot of the other projects i love sugar i actually felt like it was fantastic but it's obviously not my vehicle we strangers is my vehicle and what it felt like was oh man if i'm allowed to do what i think i can do this is what i can do and they're doing all the stuff around you that needs to be done to match that everyone is that invested and i think that's the nature of like indies there's like no money in it right you love it and everyone loved it and we had time and i think it's the best piece of work i've ever done and i love it we went to south by southwest so i think the hope is that it gets sold and distributed somehow i was hoping they would have sent a link for we strangers but we didn't get one i would love to see who are you playing in that so i play this character called ray and she's meaning clean up bodies and stuff you go into offices and retail spaces and you clean and then she gets hired by this family and it becomes this whole study of assimilation and code switching and you start seeing these two white families but one is a family that's actually interracial like an indian family it's all saying gary indiana so it's got that sort of backdrop it's really and then in other places in indiana and then right on the border of chicago as well and actually when you said dead bodies so i worked with a commercial cleaner out there this lady called my brain is like well you just well i just wrestled my brains were out i worked with this commercial cleaner and i cleaned with her like i cleaned tax office i cleaned a funeral park i went to the lego store i worked and i think that's the other nature of my idea of being active was like that stuff thinking of daniel day lewis getting so steeped in a row which can feel a bit like wanky sometimes i mean it feels very self-indulgent but actually maybe the proof is in the pudding when you give people time to do that i think my performance was so much better because i actually did it like i knew i was doing i didn't just shop and be like okay i pretend to be cleaning out you pick up these dumb things that you just want to think of naturally because you've done the habitual activity one of my favorite acting moments in history is jeff bridges in that movie where he's a singer and he gets out of this old suburban and he goes in the back a he's carrying a piss jug in the car which was his choice too and then he gets out and the way he puts the window down on the suburban he helps the window up because it's an old truck and i was like this man has clearly lived with this vehicle for 30 years it's as dumb as simple as things but you're like that's a man in his vehicle but you gotta fuck with that car bro if someone watches we strangers and has what you just had which is like oh that's exactly how you clean that thing that's exactly what i would do that's winning oh my god that's actually that's why i came into this industry that's what i think i'm in this world to do right really even if it's just one person it's like the lines of what's real and even though i know this is a film i feel like i'm watching someone's life that's the best case you go this actor was previously this yes right you're not going to buy into the whole thing but you might be like oh yeah they must have definitely rode horses growing yeah yeah exactly exactly that that's the best we can hope for okay well we'll stay posted on when we strangers comes out and sugar's phenomenal and i hope people take that ride i'm like two-thirds of the way through it and i love it again if you like ron mars man there's a few ron mars's out there by the way oh there's tons you know there's a lot in europe oh really oh my god so i didn't know because i didn't grow with cable so we didn't have ronica mars but they used to show i think on tv in italy and a friend of mine's now ex-boyfriend is italian and when i got on ronica mars was completely i got hulu even though who doesn't exist and you got like a vpn pirate it yes absolutely obsessed with it huge european market you're right i'm not remembering us going through the security line in italy and all these people in italian freaking out and then you're like oh wow it's fucking like baywatch down here yeah yeah they love it so everybody watch sugar everybody find we strangers when it comes out i can't wait to see myself and then my last question did you ever think you would go to the mountains of tennessee and watch a nascar race what a fun time we had what a fun time and i feel remiss for not posting i think we'll post it after this because i was like not in my social media i was like this is such a cool thing we posted the shit i know and i like you don't but i felt remiss and i'm like actually this is a great cool thing yeah there's not many black girls from london that now you guys were sitting on pit wall and other than bubba wallace who was driving one of the cars yeah there was no one no there's no way i don't feel like i belong and i can't go there's a weird thing like i can't go into these spaces i think fuck that i'll go anywhere i want to experience everything there is to do in the very short amount of time i'm now realizing i think having a time i'm like fuck i don't have a lot of time here i gotta set some things up we gotta go to a night race yes before we do things yeah before i die i want to go everywhere everything yeah that was great thank you all right kirby i love you everyone check out sugar everyone love you this is genuinely so nice i think it's the longest we've got to spend together this is like so nice well one time we ran into each other at cobell that was the best that was so fun i was with anna and kirby was there with friends and she came and sat with us and then she laughed and on and we're both like god kirby's the best oh that was so nice i would like to do that she's a cool guy very much number one cool guy we have three different categories yes best boy cool guy sexy man all right love you be well a little update from the comments one which is fun people who like beats really like beats oh wow yeah so they were um hurt that we don't like beats and so we got a lot of fun recipes in the comments that um people think you and i will like beats if we try these recipes so all right yeah i just thought that was an interesting outpour of reaction the beat lovers it's okay it's that we don't have to like beats right what was nice about this approach if i'd like to applaud it is no one said like you're crazy you don't like beats or you're stupid or you're bad they said oh maybe you should try it this way you know right but that's kind of like i know that if you just give it the another try drizzle of honey people really want us to cube it a lot that was a very common recommendation is that we cube the beats okay okay now to the second thing and this is common i'm very aware so i had said irregardless in an episode recently and people lost their mind and i already know the argument about irregardless it is originally regardless and irregardless is redundant and not necessary but unfortunately irregardless is a word in the webster's dictionary you're allowed to use it does mean what you think irregardless means and it's okay it's in the dictionary okay but people were very um they're shook yeah yeah how was your trip it was all i could do to resist telling you how terrible it was because there were so many times i needed probably to just vent about it oh my god but it was happened oh my gosh well we got back up to father's day when kristin went down with covid yeah last laugh covid still around still going strong yeah so covid as you know you witnessed a lot of this she basically went to bed on a sunday and she just never she woke up a few different times for a week yeah she did not feel well no she's not looking good we left early friday morning uh because i had a reservation at an rv place that we had to get to by six and it was in utah so i'm like guys we have to get on the road at this time to make it in time for the gates this place early scrambling scrambling and then i look at her in the kitchen on the day of departure and i i have to say like is this a really stupid idea like you look like you might need a hospital in the next 12 hours should we be driving to the middle of the desert in the bus i really was like we might have to pull the plug on this wow yes which would be you know i look forward to this trip all year it's my favorite trip of the year it's so fun yeah and uh and then the bus i love of course so it was really like i wasn't even as we were getting about this is i'm probably gonna regret this for her health right and we're gonna get there and can't go anyways because we can't show up with kristin in the condition she was in at a very communal gathering right we pushed ahead and um immediately what i found out was when i unplugged the big brown from the 50 amp electric output that it's plugged into at all times the refrigerator shut off and a few other things shut off that the batteries are supposed to run so the whole battery system supposed to run the fridge and some other stuff that's not working and i'm like oh fuck and okay so the fridge will not have power we just packed it full of tons of food oh no and i'm like this is stressful but we got to keep going we start going and i'm trying to think the order of events at some point we have no power inside i turn the generator on while we're driving thinking well okay the batteries are gonna power the fridge maybe the generator will power the fridge the generator going and it's powering some things but not the fridge and not some other things i'm like what the fuck is going on so then the next order of events is we're in nevada it's now 100 outside we're crossing the desert you have no ac well that was the next development so i have ac coming out of the dashboard because the engine makes that lincoln's like it's really hot in back mom's trying to sleep and i'm like okay go to the panel turn on this button try to explain her how to turn the ac on while i'm still driving she comes back uh she's like it's not working is the blue light on so yeah i'm driving the whole time so i can't get up and do so now the ac doesn't work now the bus is getting hotter and hotter oh my god and i'm like oh my god so we get past vegas i go through all these different breakers um i then pull the generator out from in front of the bus there's a breaker on there i turn that on okay thank god that then powers at least the air conditioning so now the air conditioning is working but the toilets aren't flushing oh no yeah i mean long story short by the time we got to the rv place and i plugged it into shore power and i turned the pump on for the water so we could flush the toilets i was noticing water's kind of cascading out of the bottom of big brown and i'm thinking is that all condensation from the ac units on top maybe that's all leaking down the electronics are getting more and more scatty wampus and poltergeisty less and less things are working i open a compartment tons of water just leaking into the compartment it's a compartment with all of the electronic modules so everything that runs everything is just getting dumped with water and now occurs to me oh there is a pipe either broken in the wall or a fitting that has come loose and i'm also watching the fresh water tank go from 100 when we left down to 20 and we haven't used oh my god we haven't used any water so i mean to be grateful we had ac i guess we had ac that's about it but we couldn't use the toilets uh the lights no longer work none of the shades worked we're in a campground luckily so we could use that bathroom i'm hoping as these modules dry out they'll start functioning they never did so and while driving people are reporting new things to me every you know hour and a half dad the thing i'm like i gotta drive the bus i can't do and it's a morning of we're in idaho at a campground and that was fun that place had like a little outdoor pool it was very i don't know what the word is uh ragged around the edges i guess oh like howie would say rustic yeah it was rustic but not in a silver like charming way but when we went to the pool at night there was a french family there like a mom and a dad three kids and they're all speaking french i don't know why i just love the idea that they had chosen their american vacation and they were camping and they were at this weird campground i don't know i like that a lot and then the next morning it's time to drive to the fishing lodge and we're like what do we do so then we all took covid tests all negative including her including her so that was didn't have covid or she was just done testing positive yes she was past being viral or whatever okay yeah that luckily because that morning of i was like we've gotten all the way here and we can't really go to the fishing lodge and now we have to drive all the way back i guess oh with all the shit going wrong what if there's a guy with a leaf blower in your apartment it's so annoying i i now i used to never care about them or think about them and ever since we did that episode of flightless bird now i have a beef you have better mind off i do yeah you notice it more so that was a huge relief that meant it wasn't all for naught we could go and i think also mentally just her knowing she wasn't she did start to turn around that day oh that's interesting yeah yeah it was huge okay last wrinkle they've never had a 50 amp plug at the fishing lodge so i thought okay i'm gonna have to park the bus 40 miles away at this campground that has the plug so that it's not dead when i have to drive it back but then come to find out the guy who runs this place he got a an airstream last year and put in a 50 amp so lucky very lucky so the bus has been plugged in and um i leave in the morning i'm optimistic it'll it'll get me home but they're flying as they should oh they are oh you're gonna be solo yes yes that'll be easier for everyone if i'm not hearing about what's broken every hour i see yeah i'm sorry because i feel go ahead i don't think i should take this on i feel a little responsible tell me how because what happened was you told me a story that we were originally flying you were you guys decided to fly and you hadn't told delta and then when you guys told her she was very very sad and then she had a whole plan and she didn't want to talk about it but it was just like the saddest story so i said well why don't you and delta just take the bus and chris and me can fly if they want but why don't you guys like do a thing yeah and then you did yes yeah i mean it was heading in that direction you don't have to take any responsibility the only thing you really participate in is by saying it's okay if we cancel that one day of recording like if you would do that yeah if you haven't been out of shape about that that might have been you know something to wrestle with but um you were very uh amenable to that i wanted her to get her trip me too and she boy did she get one and now she's flying home oh my god oh my god why why do i own this thing yes this is such a stupid stupid thing to have listen when you're when you're when you have the ledger of pros and cons the trip to mount rushmore into north dakota into montana and aaron and i at the ava brothers concert being in the dunes it's still all a huge win but yeah currently fuck this thing i want to get a honda accord that's the only thing i want to own just drive it into the ground and never think about it it's a great car speaking of luxury yeah since you've been gone a lot's happened oh my god yeah because i've been gone for four days five days five days yeah a lot's lots happened so you left third you left right about i saw you thursday then friday i had dinner with eric and molly and eric and charlie we went to craig's oh that's the place with the paparazzi yeah yeah and it was really yummy and it was very very fun it's kind of like my life is now pre that dinner and post that dinner no kidding what happened okay so i have my card holder out i have a goyard card holder and credit card holder yeah okay and erica said oh my gosh charlie you matched monica and he took out his and he had one too but his is a dupe does that mean fake yeah okay we don't fake is canceled i guess now we say dupe oh come on but people do say dupe that's not scientific i know so then all of us were like examining them side by side to see the differences and it was that was a fun game and eric was he was trying to pretend like he didn't know whose was whose and try to guess which was real yeah and he was looking really closely and then he said do you guys know the saddle stitch is the rarest stitch and him him being him it was like what how would you possibly know that like from a shoe world no no no but good guess so he said that and all of a sudden he goes he's kind of obsessed with her mez now and what okay so he started listening to this podcast acquired it's been on for many years and they basically do an episode once a month and they spend that month researching a company and they do a really deep dive on the company and the business practices the history but all of it so eric had just learned about this podcast and he was listening to an episode on her mez and he said it was so fascinating and so interesting and so then like you know that was that that was fun and you're getting ready to leave the dinner we're standing at the valet we're all just chatting and he said would any of you get a birkin bag which is an airmez bag it's like their their main bag okay so it was just like really on it was like very top of mind for him yeah yeah it was quite funny i didn't think much of it and then i got my car and i turned it on i was like i want to listen to this it's it's so good the podcast is very good in general but it's so interesting and the history is so fascinating and so of course what happens i start googling i start buying oh buying yeah oh no no i know i know i know i know i know and then eric and i have been texting every four minutes about how we love fermez now and um and then we debated okay because i said maybe i will bring one of the towels for this year's white outfit they have these beach towels they're incredible i got two okay so you you you you and i remember that i once heard that anna went tour gifts them as towels oh okay all right okay yeah and they have tigers on them oh wow okay great yeah i should have one yeah you should bring one to the white elephant he said that's such a good idea yes and then he said maybe that's what even want it and i said he won't want it he doesn't care about hermes well that's my first overall concern is like will it fall on deaf ears will anyone understand what they're receiving because i certainly want it and i feel like i'm more positioned too than some others but you're not you're positioned more to like be able to have one but you're not positioned more to know about it okay okay okay stand up so but then eric said well that's starting to like some things that are fancier like the macho machine oh my god it was just from four years ago but i wouldn't call that it was it was a very it's a good machine but i wouldn't call it a luxury item no and i'm making a mental note because i want to hear him tell me how i'm more interested in luxury because i want to hear his um take on it okay well also let me see if i can find what he said oh okay that'd be great because i can't think oh i know i know what you can say okay yeah the burberry sweaters oh wow i forgot i didn't even think about that guilty of charge yep so the thing is about the birkin you have to be basically invited to buy it i was like ferrari yeah you can't just even if you go in your med store you won't be there okay they don't even have one for you to look at like you can't buy it nope they don't even have one there and they start at like fifteen thousand dollars holy moly my lord i know oh my god if they go up to like i think there was one i saw for resale for like three hundred fifty thousand dollars guys for a satchel to carry other bullshit around in yes and actually they so there's another episode on lbmh that i listened to after which was also incredibly interesting and on that episode they made a very interesting distinction between premium and luxury which i thought was quite well said okay they said a premium item is one in which the actual quality and utility is better okay but then the jump from premium to luxury the quality is not better i've been saying this for years yes yes yes it's a brand you're buying into scarcity a dream yeah yeah yeah yeah that's what i was saying like you're not gonna get a better leather bag than coach you know build build quality leather quality stitch durability like that's just a very well made you know you don't know i do i think so okay no listen so hermes is very specific in that they hand make the bags the craftsmanship is incredible it is the only one to it's the only brand currently doing that um i have to interrupt you because i made a crazy prediction a year ago and i feel so vindicated it's coming true i was just told by somebody who works at one of these large retailers and they were telling me that they're now offering atelier services i swear to god that is well that is that is actually in the marketplace currently but what's that mean i don't know but it doesn't matter to me remember when i said this is going to be the new word like artisanal and uh bespoke you're going to see it everywhere and by god i heard this major retailer now is offering atelier services but maybe it is an atelier that's because you you're you're worried that just anything is going to be called atelier no anything that is identified as exclusive and rare will ultimately be taken by large big retailers and made to mean nothing like artisanal if an artisanal subway sandwich now artisanal doesn't mean anything right well it used to mean something like it was only being said about you know little shoe cobblers in italy or whatever and so this thing atelier a year ago meant something and i'm just telling you that i nailed this one and it's on its way to meaning absolutely nothing the difference is artisanal is an adjective okay and atelier is a noun it's a place it's a thing it's a tiny workshop it's a tiny place where very very meticulous bespoke work is done yeah so if the atelier is a 25 yes then yeah then it no longer really means anything oh my god yeah you're right okay i found it i found it uh eric said an air mess towel is also a good gift idea for someone like dax or andrew who is impossible to buy something for and i said yeah but dax wouldn't get it he could care less also have to be careful about the way certain families use towels because they have to respect them he said he said it depends if it really is a luxurious towel he might embrace it like certain shorts or the macho machine it's like 50 50 and then he said maybe it's 25 75 he doesn't get it i'm so glad you're um so eric and i have had this exact relationship for 12 years this is how ours began but it would all be a stuff but yeah once you enter into the cyclone with eric on text it's insane how long they all are it's so fun yeah and you too i was participating in writing two pages text and again he's the only person i do this with yeah it's really fun because he has such a fun mind he does he does and then i was reminded that you got a shirt from panay that was i think gucci gucci sweater yeah and you love that i love it he's right a little bear on it yeah he is he is i'm a fraud i think you're gonna love the towel okay i gotta keep it away from my rascal children though it'll end up around groot in a mud puddle in the backyard that's my worry you know delta loves groot so much and she decided to bring a lot of outfits for groot you know he doesn't there are no outfits made for him specifically of course there's no on that toy line he's notoriously nude yes and so she's been like scavenging from different toy lines and has coupled together this great wardrobe for him he's a lifeguard oh he has he has a beautiful dress uh yeah he has so many looks and so the whole time he kept coming up front and he had to be a new look oh my god yeah it was adorable i mean maybe for christmas i could buy some hermes you could get him like a washcloth an hermes washcloth but say it's a beach towel oh that's a great idea it's probably 400 yeah you gotta send it to an atelier to have it embroidered it will be already the hermes is an atelier one thing about those bags what happens a lot it happened to charles leclerc it's happened to i think another driver they have these watches these million dollar watches and guys come steal their watches in broad daylight right off their wrists uh this happened twice with f1 drivers in the last two years wow i think how much harder it is to get a watch off someone's wrist than it's to grab a bag i can't imagine i can't believe these women feel confident walking around with 350 grand over their shoulder okay to be fair most are not 350 grand i just saw one that was because the other thing with those bags like a luxury car it appreciates which is rare right like as soon as you buy a sorry a coach bag i mean a no shade nothing against it that depreciates as soon as you take it off the shelf and walk out the door and hermes bag immediately goes up in value well i have heard this argument a lot over the years and i want to be clear most luxury cars don't there's only a handful like one you have one that it does and i only got it for that reason because it had a three generation proof that that's the trajectory but i've heard that and yet i've never met anyone who sold their stuff secondhand and made money i hear this a lot from vintage cars no no no no no i've heard about the bags and the gucci outfits appreciating like i think it's a premise everyone's aware of yeah i've never met anyone i know a lot of women who collect this stuff i've never met anyone who's actually sold one of these items for a profit no but it's a specific level it's not like any nice good will resell you sell for a higher amount but certain brands and certain specific items like the kelly bag and the birkin bag are both their mess they do like you can look on the resale sites they're all way more expensive than the actual cost of the bag which normally is like between 12 and 20 000 and then you can't you can't get it on the resale market for 12 000 unless it's all busted up but it's an investment like that's why people get them it's like it is like cards as much as one yeah okay well i'm gonna pickle because i want to update you on a part of the trip and i also think i don't want to i don't think i should say who's at the trip it feels like it's breaking some conduct i kind of agree yeah but somebody's on your trip i just want to update you that like i'm really getting along with this person i don't i don't know how i'm supposed to feel okay what do you think i should feel like properly like what is my best self feeling oh your best self would i think i mean yeah again this is like the dream reaction is oh that's great that confirms that the person i really like is kind of who i think they are because i'm a good judge of character and i'm like really drawn to the person and then i guess a good version of you would be happy for me if i meet someone i like a lot yeah of course yeah and then also that just means probably some chance of them being closer in our circle i mean i don't think it's gonna go that far but yeah i also you know but you're feeling just jealousy that i'm gonna spend time with the person no listen listen listen just hold your horses um yeah there's someone on the trip that means an awful lot to me yeah and you sent me a text saying saying that this person was there i think even in the text i was like i don't know if you're gonna like this or yeah yeah i saw this coming a little bit you say that to me yeah like when you preface it yeah i i don't you get defensive i don't know what my actual feeling is because now it's prefaced with don't be mad but maybe you will be and so then i'm like primed i'm already like oh i'm gonna be mad but i can't be yeah when i say that it's probably a what do you call a pre uh it's like a pre-apology so it's like i think this might make you happy so i want to share it with you uh or excited and then i'm also aware of that it could upset you so i'm like pre-apologizing if i was wrong i'm basically going like well i'm wrong i've decided to roll the dice that i think you're gonna like this um and then i'm sorry if you don't i was wrong about it i mean in this case if you hadn't told me i would be mad yes that's what i'm that's actually what i was juggling i mean you made the right decision but it would be crazy if you didn't tell me i would definitely feel like oh you don't think about me ever right this is exactly the sitch i was in with also some realistic expectation that you also won't like it on some level or potentially yeah it's complex it's very complicated i'm happy that you made a new friend yeah um and and of course i'm happy that this person is what i thought this person was but also i already knew that and know that yeah um am i jealous of the time you get to spend with this person of course i am because i think this person and i would be great partners yeah um also you know it's like an identity thing a little bit it's like oh that person's my person sure you can't become best friends with that person that person's losing my brain uh no as a thing as a very specific thing yeah and um if i reverse the roles i can admit too that yeah if you were somewhere for a week with brad pitt exactly and i know you're likable and there's some chance you two are going to become best friends when i really want to be best friends with him i'm gonna feel like yeah somehow i lost or right i really actually don't yeah i'm just saying how i could have a knee jerk of like oh well great now she's best friends with brad pitt he's not gonna be best friends with me she just filled that slot i also feel i feel pretty certain this person i are never gonna be best friends yeah for many many reasons yeah but i just really want this person to really like me right yeah and in love with me a little but mainly just like me a lot and respect me and admire me and you just have the opportunity right now to do that and i don't yeah that's all i'm saying yeah it'd be like if you were um you know you were racing jet boats in australia i'd be happy for you and very um jealous i wasn't getting to race jet boats in australia have i come up um and have you had that crossed your mind yeah i've definitely said like i told of course like oh monica and i went to india with bill gates hit them with a couple of great bill gates stories okay yeah for sure yeah i've said your name multiple times okay and i just wonder if you mentioned like how good i am at connections and stuff not yet but there's a day yeah okay um okay we've said enough about that product uh because it's so obvious now but at any rate um the only other thing i'll add is uh i took uh the girls whitewater rafting yesterday so lincoln and i have been the previous three years we go and that's lincoln's favorite thing and so this year delta decided she wanted to try it wow good job yes with a good deal of nervousness about it and then of course as i would do too as the older sibling um lincoln wasn't helping right because you know i'm sure she preferred oh my god it's all circles back we all have our things yeah yeah yeah very yeah natural very human natural anyway so we go there and uh we get on the boat and she's not she's i can tell she's definitely having second thoughts and we go through the first little ripple and she goes i don't like this i don't want to do so yeah i'm like what is the perfect answer because i've got to be realistic like well honey that ship's out this is a two-hour thing and there's really no getting off this it's two hours yeah i think so yeah uh and i you know i just try to reassure i'm like these never flip they flip like once a season i've been a bunch of times if it flips who gives a shit you know i'm gonna swim right to you and grab you you're in a life jacket uh you know let's just walk through all the things anyways by the third rapid she really liked it and by the end there's a 10 foot rapid like there's a 10 foot wave you go up and it's actually when they take a picture of you from the banks oh nice and delta's like head up staring at the thing screaming with excitement oh it ended and she's like i want to go again can we go again tomorrow and you know i i like it because they like it i've not done it four times you know it's it's great it's great it's a great thing two hours is long also you know i don't have a steering wheel in my hand it's like i'm on the side rowing the only part i have is i have a very loud voice so i yell dig dig dig when we're supposed to be paddling really hard so yeah i'm just a passenger i'm not in control so maybe that's why i don't love it as much um but you know it's totally fine but um i did not want to go again today but she went on her she went by herself the day before wow yeah good for her she loves it real she's riding her little dirt bike back and forth to the lodge and cute oh i'm dying i'm just dying it's so sweet watching them become little people and and you know they're there's teenagers here and it's stressful and we're getting into preteen and yeah who's you know they like me all this stuff it's all so sweet and heartbreaking it's tough it is you kind of forget what it's like to be a year or two younger than the teens and how self-conscious you get and am i wearing the right thing am i doing the right thing as you are like last night we did karaoke and the little kids sang first the first was little kids they sang for a while it was so cute and adorable and then was teens teens had to sing and you know those teens they want to get out there and sing but no one's a microphone yeah and you're just like oh yeah man there's just this phase of your life you go through where you're so self-conscious like i'm so self-conscious half of me is like really nostalgic for how fun it was to be a teen and go places and go see if they're other cute teen girls so i'll get focused on how fun and aesthetic that is and then i'll willfully neglect how much awkwardness you're like you're standing in a room and then you decide i'm just gonna go stand in another room because i don't know what i'm doing god this is constantly moving from like room to room hoping you feel mildly comfortable in one of the rooms oh my god oh it's so cute life is cute oh my god it's cute and stressful yeah it is okay i want to do some facts yeah let's get to some facts we did a lot of fashion we did a lot of jeffo never enough fashion but you said pre and post that dinner meaning your now life is all about air maze and i change yeah i've forever changed it's like maybe if someone had asked me before would you ever get a burger and i would say no that's ridiculous i think we should add for some detail with eric it makes a thousand percent sense even though he is not in the style at all i would say the least the least but this is a man who has collected rare meteorites he's collected bonsai trees he collects fucking tortoises he's collected everything that could be collected and appreciate in value so of course he loves this of course yeah and i told him to keep an eye out for any deals deals deals but also i don't want to do a deals and deals i want to be invited to buy one and so i think i'm really gonna have to put in the work okay and i think i'm gonna have to start buying a lot of stuff and become like a customer i think that's how it works no don't do it don't do it you say you're gonna love that tiger towel play pickleball instead i still haven't learned i did ask lincoln she said she would teach me oh she would love that okay now this is for kirby kirby just love kirby yeah i know she's what a self-centered no that's not the right word self-assured self-assured no no no no she's not at all self-centered no she's self-assured yeah very self-assured that's such an attractive quality in people isn't it it sure is okay so i looked up the most popular color for clothes oh ding ding fashion yeah and it says it depends on varies by region and time of year but some of the most popular colors are blue classic color sure uh black maybe yeah these are all neutral kind of so blue black navy neutrals and heather gray i love heather gray if it's dark if it's like a dark heather gray like it looks like it's been worn like a athletic shirt yeah but also gray is tricky for sweaty people yeah and penises i didn't know this until john ham was on but so many people in the comments were like oh he knows what he's doing with those gray sweatpants then i came to find out gray sweatpants is a thing you wear if you want to show your dick off what yeah i learned that all from the comments does it have to be oh my god i need you to take a break from the what are you talking about it's like the third of our content is my reaction to the comments no i know i don't it's too much we wouldn't have found this out does it have to be great yeah apparently gray photographs nicely to show the dick oh i mean you can see where definitely black would not yeah but white i would think would be the most first of all i don't think anyone wears white sweatpants so this i do yeah i can't picture any guys that i mean i have no images of dudes wearing white but regardless white might even be too bright in that it doesn't cast any shadows i don't know the conclusion is gray sweatpants are the pants if you're looking to show off your junk you know really contours yeah really outlines it nicely i guess okay now you gotta know i did have to talk myself out of buying some great sweatpants when i learned that's i think that's what everyone's doing i wouldn't be left behind everyone's getting their dick out there oh my god okay what are the most popular colors in the world a worldwide survey reveals that blue is the most popular color in 10 countries across four continents blue do you think people naturally love blue because the sky is blue and water is blue maybe i mean it just has a calming effect yeah like red means danger lava fire passion and love sure sure which there's a time and place for i don't know if it's in the work environment just like gray sweatpants are hot if you're wearing gray sweatpants to work you need attorneys to pull you aside listen michael we've all seen your dick now it's time to not wear those anymore we all saw those away yeah we got we all got a nice mental image what's happening okay now i found the national inquire commercial this is unfortunate because you know we're on zoom you can't see it but i will play it okay okay so you couldn't hear it i guess hold on okay you couldn't hear it i heard a first frame of it and then i didn't hear anything the whole time well it was pretty quiet okay maybe but i think the people heard it okay great you'll find out when you listen back okay women's and men's brains the way they respond to hungry infant cries uh this is from nih.go this is very trusted yeah researchers asked men and women to let their minds wander then played a recording of white noise interspersed with the sounds of an infant crying brain scans show that in the women patterns of brain activity abruptly switched to an attentive mode when they heard the infant cries whereas the men's brains remained in the resting state and then previous studies have shown that on an emotional level men and women respond differently to the sound of an infant crying our findings indicate that men and women show marked differences in terms of attention the earlier studies show that women are more likely than men to feel sympathy when they hear an infant cry and are more likely to want to care for the infant and men want to stop the sound yeah oh man oh my god you guys are watching this doc called perfect wife have you heard of it no oh my god i think erin lee cars a producer on it i don't know she directed but it's our name in the credits oh my god ding ding ding why is that a next fact no oh cool she's a friend of the pot oh yes that's why i said her name is if everyone wouldn't know it okay so it's on hulu three-part doc the beginning the man comes home his wife's not there his kids aren't there he pings her phone it's on the side of a road in reading like rural rural reading california he drives there and finds her phone on the side of the road and then she's missing that's where it starts and it is wild it's absolutely wild it's really good no highly recommend yeah do watch do watch we'll watch okay picasso's quote is learn the rules like a pro so you can break them like an artist oh nice yeah i like that nice can i just say i think ours would be the almost polar opposite of that quote which would be like come in as an artist and try to figure out how to be a pro right i think i went from like this being interviewed and like thinking i should be talking 75 percent of the time like figuring out going from being an artist to you know a professional professional yeah yeah the mind was learn how to be an artist so you can learn how to be a professional i see your advice yeah but i i love this quote and i also agree with it in general in life you should probably learn how to do everything by the book first like know that and then you get to play and know when you can break these rules i was even thinking about with editing like um in this episode i left one of your coughs in okay i normally never would so like a rule would be to cut it but i left it because it had a funny enough moment after that i decided was worth keeping so that's my artistry there's just so much information in the way you phrased one of your coughs like if you were just hearing us for the very first time and someone heard how you phrased that they would know my whole history with coughing because you didn't say i left in a cough you coughed and i left it in you said one of your coughs oh my god well you have a trademark i'm a warthog okay i looked up hearing loss and unfortunately looks like it can start to decline as early as our 30s and 40s but typically around the 50s to early 60s it's a rough road for us entering those decades the eyesight's just in a fucking nosedive if i start losing my hearing too i don't know how i'm gonna manage especially the career we've chosen well luckily what if i'm like literally half and you said i had to cut out one of your what was that oh no could you repeat i had to cut out one of your would you repeat that what i had to start sitting increasingly closer to the guest oh my god that'll actually be sweet it'll be a really nice marker of time yeah i guess um our guy larry king he was pretty darn close to those guests yeah yeah he was almost face to face true um that's all the facts okay well again i can't put too fine a point on how much i love curvy very self-centered very self-centered all right well i hope you enjoy your last day and i hope you maybe bring me up like at least half a dozen times before you go okay yes and i want to add if you're listening to this and you're a cat burglar i'm home by the time you hear this and i need you to know that homeowner is also a bow and arrow owner so yeah and other weaponry yeah but also that's for real you are home yeah i am home now um all right i love you i love you you you you you